Work Text:
Alt. 2. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
By the time bedtime rolled around, Neal hadn’t thrown up in over an hour.
“Feeling any better?” Peter asked once he saw Neal’s eyelids flutter open from where he had been sleeping on Peter’s shoulder.
Neal sat up, stretching out the crick in his neck, and thought for a minute. “Yeah, actually.”
Grabbing the thermometer, Peter reached out and placed the tip of it in Neal’s ear. “Still too warm,” Peter said, frowning. “I think I’m going to call the doctor tomorrow and see about getting you an appointment.”
Neal sighed but didn’t argue, a huge clue to Peter that he was doing the right thing.
“Ready to head to bed? El has the guest room all made up for you.” Peter stood and stretched, ready to go to bed himself. It had been a long day.
“Yeah.” Neal furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he pushed himself up off the couch. He kept his blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cape and headed up the stairs. He didn’t want to lose his momentum and he could feel his legs shaking already, despite standing 30 seconds ago.
Climbing the stairs took more out of him than Neal would like to admit, but he made it. He went into the bathroom to pee and brush his teeth before shuffling down the hallway to the guest room. He’d never been so happy to see a bed.
Neal startled awake at the sound of a door slamming. He looked around, the panic receding out of him when he realized that he was in the Burke’s guest room.
El stuck her head into the room, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “Sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to wake you up. Satchmo bumped into the door and slammed it against the wall,” she said with a laugh. Satchmo thumped his tail excitedly against the floor, glad to have everyone’s attention on him.
Neal smiled back at her and rubbed his eyes. The sun was shining brightly outside, giving Neal the impression that he’d slept for a lot longer than he’d anticipated.
“Peter is at work, but he called you out for the day. How are you feeling?” El sat on the edge of the bed and felt Neal’s forehead with the inside of her wrist. “You’re back to a normal temperature, that’s a good sign.”
Neal took a second to take stock of how his stomach felt. “I think I’m…hungry?”
El’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Good!” She kissed the top of his head. “Feel up to taking a quick shower? It will feel good to get some of that sweat off.”
Neal nodded, hating that he could smell himself.
“I’ll make some breakfast while you do that. Sound like a plan?”
“Yeah, sounds great.” Neal pushed the blankets back and stood slowly, not wanting to make himself dizzy.
“I laid out some clean clothes for you on the bathroom counter. Take your time!” El said, patting her leg as she walked out of the room to get Satchmo to follow her.
Neal swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat; he wasn’t used to having someone look after him like El was doing. He went through the motions of showering, glad that he could wash all the sickly stickiness from his skin. By the time he got out, a thick cloud of steam was shrouding the bathroom. Neal dressed in some of Peter’s sweats and toweled off his hair before going down to the kitchen.
“How was it?” El asked, pouring him a cup of tea at the kitchen island.
“Fantastic,” Neal answered, sitting at the stool she’d pulled out for him.
“I figured toast was a safe bet for breakfast, but I can make you anything you feel like eating!” El busied herself pulling out all the options she had. When she turned back to the island, she was surprised to see Neal fighting back tears. “Oh my god, what’s the matter?” She’d never seen Neal cry and she was very alarmed. She thought he was feeling better—was he getting worse?
Neal shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” He sniffed back the rest of the tears that were burning his eyes and stirred his tea for something to do for a distraction.
“Remember what I said yesterday about being fine?” El sat at the stool next to him and reached out to grab his hand. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”
Neal took a shuddering breath and tried to keep his emotions in check. “I just really appreciate all that you’re doing for me to help me feel better.”
“Of course, sweetie. Anything to help.” El kept ahold of Neal’s hand and eyed him warily. She wasn’t sure if she needed to prompt him into telling her what was really bothering him, or if he just needed her to hold space for him. She decided to just hold the space for a little while and see how it went. She rubbed circles on the back of Neal’s hand with her thumb and felt her heart break as a few tears slipped down Neal’s cheeks.
Neal sniffled, using the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt to wipe at his nose. “Sorry,” Neal said quietly. He wasn’t sure how to voice everything that was going on in his head.
“Don’t be sorry, honey. What’s on your mind?” El squeezed his hand in support.
“It’s just been so long since I’ve had anyone care about me like this,” Neal whispered. “How much has Peter told you about me?”
“I’m pretty well versed,” El admitted.
Neal took a deep breath. “My mom wasn’t much of a mom, though I didn’t know it at the time. I was alone for most of my childhood, until we went into witness protection and I got close with Ellen. She was more of a mother to me than my own mom was, and she didn’t show me half the love and compassion I get from you and Peter,” Neal croaked out. He had a steady stream of tears falling down his cheeks at his admittance. He’d never said any of those things out loud before.
“Oh, sweetie.” El pulled Neal into her chest and wrapped him in a hug. She held him until his sobs wore down into the occasional sniffle. “I used to hate whatever is in control of the universe for not giving Peter and I a child, but I’m wondering now if it was all for a reason.” She paused. “To make room in our lives for you.”
Neal bit back a sob at that. “I am so lucky to get a chance to be in your lives,” Neal whispered. “To get to know what love feels like.”
“We love you, Neal. So much.” El rocked them back and forth slowly, swallowing back her own tears and taking long, deep breaths. When she felt Neal’s breathing even out, she pulled back. “Now, how about that breakfast?”