Archive of Our Own ^beta

Before opening his eyes, Kaveh took a deep breath.

It was the third time that week he had woken up in the middle of the night to his parents fighting over what was probably the most stupid reason. They had been like this for the past few months, picking up slight flaws in their relationship and making up excuses to fight, to scream at each other, and take away Kaveh’s peace at night.

Kaveh never understood the reason behind their arguments and eventually started to realize that maybe there wasn’t a reason at all. Years ago, they had been a very happy family, united while raising Kaveh, their only child. He never complained about the love he received from both, but after he grew to be a more independent person, learned how to do his tasks alone, and started to study, things between his parents began to change.

They seemed to feel the need to hurt each other to compensate for hurting themselves over the years in a failed marriage — which they had masqueraded very well to their son — with a misplanned kid.

He understood, growing up, that sometimes the person you marry isn’t the one you love. Sometimes you loved that person dearly, but past feelings didn’t make up for the present. Kaveh tried not to blame himself for their fallout, but at times like that night specifically, his mind insisted on pulling pranks on him.  

If there was no particular reason for their fights, why did they insist on screaming at each other in the middle of the night?

Kaveh scratched his eyes, tiredly looking for his phone beneath his pillow. He had no choice but to embrace the environment and try his best not to listen to their discussion before his thoughts got dark.

Scrolling through the apps on his phone with eyes half-open, Kaveh sighed once again, typing a message to someone. He needed some distraction from his real life.

And as expected, no more than two minutes later, he got an answer.

Kaveh got up instantly, reaching for his headphones the moment he sat down in front of the computer screen. He played a random playlist and made sure to raise the volume to the maximum, until he couldn’t hear a single scream from the other side of his door.  

VulturVolans was the name of his best friend, the person Kaveh had no idea how he looked or what his voice sounded like, but who had turned out to be the most fun and comfortable friend to hang out with online in his favorite game: Akasha TCG.

Kaveh discovered the game a couple of years ago, when his parents decided to fight every day while he was still at home. He searched for techniques to disconnect from the real world and even read about astral projection, thinking he would be able to leave his body and come back only when silence returned to the house. Then, on a random day, he found his answer in an advertisement for a new game dedicated to playing online with others all around Teyvat, a way to share experiences with people from other nations and make new friends.  

Kaveh hid behind the name Paradisaea, inspired by stories his grandma used to tell him about their culture and the creatures that surrounded the land they lived in. No one in the game really cared about it or even asked, but Kaveh enjoyed having a part of himself inserted into that alternative reality.

To be honest, in a game where people named themselves HotGuy50069 or Chewgum43281 , Kaveh took his intellectual potential too far.  

His favorite game mode was the duel one. He spent countless nights playing to master the strategies of the game, building the perfect deck, and maintaining a great score above all players. However, someone seemed to have the same determination to become the top player, fighting for the first spot, and his name was VulturVolans — someone Kaveh once considered his worst nemesis, but who eventually became a friend after joining forces with him.

They realized that competing against each other was much more fun than playing with random players since they both had similar tactics and a playful spirit to admit defeat but never give up. Paradisaea and VulturVolans eventually took their friendship beyond the game, sharing phone numbers and sending each other messages throughout the day — updating one another on what they were doing, complaining about their daily struggles, and sharing random facts or updates from Akasha TCG.  

But as close as they were, there was still a clear line neither of them dared to cross: personal information. Kaveh knew his favorite color but not where he lived. He knew his dream from last night but not his real name.  

It added a bit of mystery, sometimes comforting, and other times not. On nights like that one, he wished for someone to hug him and whisper in his ear that it would all be okay.  

Kaveh didn’t have many friends outside the game. Living in Caravan Ribat, he had two options: befriend the kids or the elders. So, he chose to help the children with their studies during the day and listen to the elders' stories in his free time, but he didn’t find much interest in calling them friends.  

His friendship duo in Akasha TCG seemed enough.

Kaveh waited anxiously for his game to load, tapping one foot on the floor with his eyes fixed on the screen. He just needed to forget the real world for a moment.  

[...]

Alhaitham discovered how easy lying was when he didn’t have to face people eye to eye. By that, it meant he woke up almost immediately in the middle of the night to a desperate message he couldn’t ignore.

Paradisaea was his best friend — and his first online crush — who also brought an occasional smile to his face throughout the day. At first, Alhaitham didn’t expect to get this close to someone who could potentially be a real-life creep, but there he was, half-asleep, half-awake, dragging his body to his desk, lazily booting up his computer, excited to spend time with Paradisaea.

Alhaitham realized he had a crush on his anonymous friend after two years of their online friendship, when Paradisaea sent him a message showing a drawing of a TCG card in the sand. It looked silly and badly drawn, but Archons, it just felt like a love confession. It also gave him the idea that Paradisaea might be a guy who lived by the beach, feeling the sun on his face and the cold water between his toes. His imagination ran wild whenever new information was dropped in their game chat.

His heart skipped a beat. It always did whenever the notification popped up at the top of his screen.  

Alhaitham wasn’t one to create expectations about someone like Paradisaea, but after a while, it became natural for him to do so. He accepted this embarrassing online crush, and kept it to himself.

Alhaitham took a deep breath, reading the message in the left corner of his computer screen. As much as they tried to hide personal details about each other, over time, they became close enough friends to share daily struggles — whether at home, school, or life in general. For example, Alhaitham knew that Paradisaea was homeschooled but also taught kids who didn’t have the option to attend school everything he had learned. He also knew about the terrible situation Paradisaea’s parents were in and how it affected him.

But before Alhaitham had the chance to ask what had happened, a new message popped up.

A dry smile appeared on Alhaitham's face as he controlled his character in the game, reaching the lobby. At three in the morning, they started their first match, which Alhaitham won after 30 long minutes of cursing at each other and carefully planning their moves.

They knew each other’s playstyle too well to expect a quick round.

Paradisaea, whenever feeling too confident, always sent a smiley face or a fire emoji in the chat. He also ignored buff cards when his hand was full of healing ones. Alhaitham knew he could never do too much damage unless Paradisaea used at least one buff card.

Alhaitham had his own habits too, usually gearing up for at least two rounds. This gave Paradisaea a slight advantage, letting him deal enough damage to get greedy and end up falling victim to the damage-over-time effects of Alhaitham’s carefully placed buffs.

Sometimes, Alhaitham prepared himself well, but other times, Paradisaea destroyed him before he even had the chance to taste victory.

It just felt heartwarming to have Paradisaea as an opponent. Someone he could joke with most of the time, rather than dealing with online boomers who couldn’t handle a loss.

Paradisaea had a playful spirit and a shining personality behind all those messages, which captured Alhaitham’s heart day by day.

However, as fun as it was to play with him, winning three matches in a row wasn’t on Alhaitham’s bingo card that night. Something was terribly wrong.

Alhaitham took a deep breath after sending that message, reading it twice. Was he too obvious? Too corny?

The sentence made Alhaitham sigh, biting the tip of his finger as Paradisaea continued typing.

The messages stopped coming for a second. He typed, and stopped. For over a minute, Alhaitham just stared at the screen, anxious.

Alhaitham turned away from his computer, eyes drifting to the mirror across the room. His messy gray hair framed his face, while the dark circles under his eyes told stories of sleepless nights. With a quiet smile, he smoothed his hair back into place.

He didn’t forget to take care of himself, after all, a shower and a spritz of deodorant left him smelling fresh. His posture was impeccable, even for a gamer boy. He had great hopes for the future and a perfect plan for his career, along with good grades and constant therapy.

Who knows, maybe Paradisaea found him a nice guy if they met.

Maybe he was the nice someone he typed in that message.

[...]

VulturVolans was back on top of the game ranking after Paradisaea lost a total of 15 matches to him, however, Alhaitham had never felt lower in his life.

It felt impossible to have darker circles around his eyes, but there he was, proving science wrong with his zombie appearance as he walked to the kitchen, regretting his life decisions from the night before — when he hadn't slept at all. Along with the tiredness, there was frustration running through his veins, frustration from not being able to help Paradisaea with his problems.

Alhaitham knew he didn’t have the answers to all the troubles in the world, but he knew someone who might.

And that someone was staring at him, a warm cup of tea in her hands and a worried expression on her face.

“Do we need to have that talk again?” His grandmother took a few steps closer, gently brushing his hair with the tips of her fingers. It always made him feel like a little kid, seeking her motherly warmth. “No staying up late playing games, Alhaitham.”

“I had a purpose this time,” Alhaitham said, grabbing the mug and sitting down at the kitchen table. “Actually, I think I might need your help.”

She raised an eyebrow and sat down beside him, her eyes attentive. There was always this unreadable expression on her face whenever Alhaitham spoke to her, like she was trying her best to give him her full attention, to make him feel heard. It was endearing.

“I have this friend, and his parents are fighting. Every day, every night. He said they used to be his biggest example of love, and now it feels to him like love is just a fairytale.” Alhaitham sipped his tea slowly, taking his time. “I have a feeling he’s going to blame himself if they divorce, but I also can’t just leave him crying in a corner.”

His grandmother nodded, arms crossed on the table, listening thoughtfully.

“Not every love story has a happy ending, and not every love is the same,” she said, gesturing toward the picture on top of the kitchen shelf — the one with baby Alhaitham and his parents, taken years before their deaths. “They were made for each other. Your grandfather and I weren’t, but we raised you, and for the sake of your growth, we didn’t let our differences interfere with your life. Some adults are more emotionally responsible than others, while some are so blinded by their own hurt that they forget their pain can hurt those around them.”

Alhaitham blinked, fully focused on her words.

“Maybe your friend’s parents forgot what it means to put love above their fights. You won’t fix their problems, but you can be there for your friend. He might not be looking for a solution from you, but for support. Do your best to support him, then.”

Although he understood his grandmother’s point, something still bugged him. He stared at the mug in his hands, watching as the smoke faded into the air.

“You once told me that love is built in a relationship, not a fairytale. Why can’t they just… build their love back?”

She hesitated for a moment, then giggled softly. “How can you build something without the proper tools and a mutual desire?”

This time, he raised an eyebrow. Sometimes, he really suspected that his grandma had the answer to all the problems in the world.

[...]

Kaveh took a deep breath before returning home.

It felt like one of those days when he just wanted to disappear from the world after a horrible night of sleep, an exhausting teaching session, and a tiring walk back. Usually, meeting the kids in Aaru Village and assisting them with basic school subjects cheered him up, but he felt too burned out from his parents' situation to lift his spirits.

However, he didn’t consider it a bad day. He took some inspiration from his situation to teach the kids about the importance of being honest with each other. Instead of sharing his own complicated case, he did his best to help them understand through their own experiences: sharing a pen, disliking a classmate. Kaveh emphasized that kindness and understanding should always come first, explaining that the truth is better left hidden if its only purpose is to hurt someone.

He felt a little embarrassed by that, but most of the kids seemed more comfortable interacting with each other and expressing their feelings. Kaveh left with a hopeful impression, idealizing that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes his parents did.

He walked back home in slow steps, looking at his feet while trying to ignore the anxiety creeping in from behind, following the same path and getting closer the more he neared home.

Kaveh wasn’t sure what he feared the most after crossing that door: the dead silence inside the room, the empty expression on his mother’s face, or the tears falling down his father’s cheeks.

It was the first time in weeks he found them so silent.

When his eyes met his father’s, the older man simply left the room.

Kaveh was too afraid to ask. His heart beat faster.

“Are you going to your room?” His mother asked, a lower voice tone than usual. He nodded, silent. “Great, we need to talk.”

Kaveh never had too many concerning conversations with his mother. He wasn’t one to give her much trouble, so the only serious discussions he remembered were about the time he pushed another boy’s hair — he understood why it was wrong — or when he picked up a random bean he found cute and took it home, only for his mother to explain why that would be considered a crime. After that, he never “stole” another bean again.

However, he had grown up. The conversations now had a different tone, and Kaveh realized that the moment he entered his bedroom and saw his mother’s expression.

Faranak had never looked so defeated, and it hurt him too that his biggest inspiration had lost her sparkle over the years.

“I’m so sorry, my son…” Her voice came out in a whisper as she hugged him tightly, holding back her tears. “We ruined everything for you, and I’m really sorry. Your father and I decided we can’t live like this anymore.”

Kaveh realized that being silent at that moment was effective, as he shut down his own thoughts while listening to her speak. He hugged her back, hiding his face in her neck like in the old times. It didn’t fit as well as it once did, but he found comfort there, somehow.

“I’m moving to Sumeru City, and I don’t want to pressure you because I know you must have a lot on your mind right now,” she said, stepping back to wipe away the single tear that fell down her cheek. “But I would love it if you came with me. We could start from scratch, just the two of us. And you can visit your father whenever you want, of course!”

For the first time, Kaveh felt the weight of growing up, the pressure of having to make decisions alone — decisions that could change his life forever. He found himself cornered, despair creeping in as he grappled with the choices ahead.

“Is it… my fault?”

“God, Kaveh, no!” Faranak’s eyes widened, the shock clear in her face. “I dare to say you’re the only good thing that this marriage brought me.”

He sighed, not relieved. Kaveh didn’t expect to be comforted by her words, he wanted to understand. He didn’t want to suffer like them. “Why did you get married, then?”

Faranak hesitated, lost in her own thoughts. Maybe she didn’t know the answer either. And in the end, she smiled at him, with the perfect answer:

“We loved each other, to some extent. We just weren’t forever.”

[...]

The next day, Alhaitham walked down the hallways of the Akademiya, searching for his friends.

Were Cyno and Tighnari experts when it came to love? Definitely not. But in the end, they were the only friends Alhaitham had outside of his online persona. Although his grandmother had given him great advice, it didn’t hurt to get a third — or even a fourth — opinion. They had become friends a year ago when Cyno accidentally entered the wrong classroom, and Alhaitham helped him find his way, leading them right into Tighnari’s study spot.

Alhaitham didn’t show much interest in their friendship at first, while Cyno and Tighnari grew closer. However, he eventually approached them again, realizing it wouldn’t be so bad to have some company in real life too. He was never left alone, but he often had to seek out the two, who seemed to have such great chemistry that they often disappeared together in the Akademiya.

He entered the House of Daena a moment later, only to find the duo at a very far table, sitting side by side while sharing one book. Alhaitham took a few steps closer, putting down some books over the table the moment he arrived.

Both Cyno and Tighnari jumped over the chairs, almost as if they’d been caught doing something wrong. It made Alhaitham raise an eyebrow, but he had no time to worry about their secrets.

“Morning,” he said first, sitting in front of them. “I need your help.”

Before they had a chance to greet him, Alhaitham launched into an explanation about Paradisaea, sparing no details. His eyes shone brighter as he spoke, and for a moment, he felt like a loser for not being able to hide his feelings, but he didn’t really care.

Paradisaea didn't get into the game for over 24 hours, and Alhaitham’s rank dropped by five places. On a normal day, he would have been desperate to reclaim his first place, but the disappearance only deepened his worry.

For the first time in their years of friendship, he talked non-stop for over thirty minutes, locking eyes with Cyno and Tighnari. Alhaitham spared no words to describe Paradisaea and his relationship with him, making no effort to hide his feelings. He had a crush on a supposed fictional person, but above all, he considered them friends and wanted to alleviate a bit of his pain. As he finished his story, Alhaitham’s gaze moved from one friend to the other, eagerly awaiting their response.

“Uh…” Cyno held his breath, tilting his head toward Tighnari, who also looked speechless. “Do you want to start?”

Tighnari, however, took a deep breath. He wasn’t judgmental like Alhaitham had expected; instead, he thought carefully about his next words. It was rare to see Alhaitham open up like that, sharing details about his personal life, so they valued those moments just as much as the times when he didn’t say a word and simply enjoyed their company.

“It doesn’t sound like something you can solve, though…” Tighnari scratched the back of his ear, a confused expression on his face. “What have you done so far?” 

“I tried to comfort him, saying he’ll find someone nice.” Alhaitham sighed, scattering his books around the table. “I talked to my grandma, and she gave some great advice too, but I can’t just dump a bunch of messages like that. I need something effective. Not every love experience can be that bad, right?

“Yes, some people are born soulmates,” Cyno interrupted abruptly. “And they can feel it from the very first time they lay eyes on each other.”

Tighnari nodded. “Of course, that’s perfectly normal. Sometimes, you can just feel that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

“And if they’re meant to be together, they’ll know,” Cyno continued, his eyes on Alhaitham.

“Maybe from the very beginning, right? That can happen,” Tighnari added, still nodding his head.

Alhaitham raised an eyebrow, slightly uncomfortable with the sudden change in tone. Not that they always agreed with each other’s statements, but at that moment, he started to feel suspicious.

“Sure. But Paradisaea also thought his parents were like that. That means you can still marry someone and fall out of love later.”

His grandmother’s words suddenly came back to him.

How can you build something without the proper tools and the desire in common?

That wasn’t comforting. Silence took over both Cyno and Tighnari once Alhaitham mentioned how possible it was to fall out of love with someone. They silently agreed with him but refused to speak aloud.

Whatever happened to them that day would have to wait.

[...]

Kaveh angrily threw his clothes inside a suitcase, wiping his tears away.

Alhaitham giggled, discreetly.

Kaveh smiled at his phone, his heart skipping a beat. He had a point.

Alhaitham immediately threw his phone away, his face burning after reading the message.

Kaveh ended up focusing on packing his clothes. But VulturVolans, as the kids would say, was definitely cooking.

[...]

VulturVolans's first tip to Kaveh for his first day at school was to wear noise-canceling headphones and bring a book.

However, Kaveh encountered a few problems on the morning he woke up in the new house after a tiring day of moving out, unpacking his boxes, and trying to adjust to the city’s noise, the new accommodation, the new room, and the lack of a father figure to help him while his mother was busy.

Faranak seemed awfully quiet the day before, pushing boxes from one side to another during the day and making a simple dinner at night. They ate together, as usual, but in silence.

Kaveh still had to get used to the new bed, waking up with terrible back pain and large dark circles under his eyes.

Sumeru City was beautiful, but he lived under the calmness of Caravan Ribat his whole life and suddenly found himself at the heart of the capital. Kaveh woke up too early with music everywhere and people chatting, screaming, and walking together from one side to the other.

He barely had his breakfast, rushing to fit in the new uniform and find a book to hold on to for the first day at the new school. Up until now, Kaveh had only interacted with little kids or elders, so he had his doubts about what he would do with other teenagers his age.

What if he didn’t make any friends? He refused to graduate alone.

He typed before leaving the house, running toward the Akademiya.

The Akademiya was bigger than he had ever expected, a grand construction at the top of the city that made use of the huge trees around instead of cutting them down and getting rid of their natural habitat. The whole city was designed to adapt to nature, fascinating Kaveh and making him wonder if he’d ever build as grand monuments as the ones in the city.

He found his way to the Akademiya by following groups of people with the same uniform and hat as his, far enough to not seem like a stalker but close enough to not get lost.

But as soon as he stepped through the door, Kaveh was stopped by a stranger. Not much taller, with dark hair and green strands at the front, he wore a gentle smile and held a red flower in his hands. Kaveh recognized it as a Mourning Flower, ones that his grandma used to grow in her garden, along with many others in her house.

“Oh, the director was right,” he said, his eyes going up and down, his hand with the flower resting right beside Kaveh’s face. “It does match your eyes. You must be Kaveh.”

Kaveh blinked, nodding. He didn’t expect to have to talk to someone that soon, but somehow, it relieved him.

“That’s me, right.” He smiled back. “I’m sorry, should I already know your name?”

“Not unless I became famous somewhere already… Maybe my articles have reached far more than I imagined.” He wondered aloud, shaking his head a moment later. “Never mind. Director Nahida said a new person would join today, and I just happened to know this place up and down. I’ll be your guide today; you can call me Tighnari.”

Tighnari proved himself to be a better guide than Kaveh expected, introducing all the Darshans, the teachers, and locating the best books. Kaveh had a little note in his hand about his Darshan, knowing it was named “ Kshahrewar ” and Tighnari explained everything he knew about it — and he knew a lot.

Kaveh had heard about Kshahrewar from his mother, who was also an Akademiya scholar years ago. Being there personally made him feel a little better, but when they walked in front of the Rtawahist Darshan, his chest ached for a brief moment. That was where his father studied.

It had been less than 48 hours since they talked, but he missed him, wondering how he was doing. Kaveh didn’t want Tighnari to worry, so he avoided looking at it too much, focusing on his guidance and smiling through his words.

Tighnari took him to the House of Daena later on, explaining that this was where the fun happened: the study sessions. He pointed out where the best Kshahrewar-related books were and led Kaveh to a distant table where two other people were already sitting.

“Now, as we rehearsed,” Tighnari spoke to the strangers, who finally turned their heads in their direction. “This is Kaveh, the new student. He’s too smart to join the beginners' class, so he’s already two years advanced. I’d say he fits in with us.”

Kaveh raised one eyebrow. How much did his mother tell the director?

But before he could worry about it, his eyes wandered between the two strangers, and one of them caught his attention more than the other. Bright green eyes, gray hair, and a serious expression on his face, he barely paid attention to his surroundings as he stared intensely at the phone in front of him.

Kaveh had to force himself to look away, but his heart skipped a beat. The guy was naturally handsome, and Kaveh wasn’t used to that type of person around.

The first one to get up and raise his hand, unfortunately, was the other one, who had long white hair with a strand covering one eye, while the other showed a bright red and a subtle smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Kaveh.”

Tighnari took a loud deep breath, rolling his eyes. “Cyno, please…”

“Come on, that was funny!” Cyno blinked mischievously. “I’m Cyno, from Spantamad. Tighnari was so excited to be the tour guide; you might already know more than me about this place.”

“I fear that’s true…” Kaveh giggled, his eyes accidentally going back to the gray-haired guy, who didn’t seem to mind his presence. “I’m Kaveh. I’m honestly relieved to have some guidance today. I used to study at home.”

“You were homeschooled? And skipped two years here?” Tighnari raised an eyebrow. “You must be a genius.”

Kaveh denied it with a head movement, the smile naturally just there. “Oh, definitely not! I had a lot of free time, so I just happened to make it up with studies.”

“You seem a lot like Alhaitham. He spends most of his time here.” Cyno pointed at the only stranger who had not said a word at the table. He finally turned his head, the bright green eyes meeting Kaveh’s, who looked away at the same moment.

Was it too obvious?

“I have a feeling we’ll see each other here a lot, then.” Kaveh tried not to sound too excited, but Alhaitham simply nodded. Maybe he didn’t like the idea.

Cyno and Tighnari exchanged suspicious stares, making the awkward moment even weirder. Kaveh wished to hide his face between one of the books around them and never go back to society.

“Well, I have to work on a project now, but I’ll see you later?” Tighnari put one hand over Kaveh’s shoulder. “We can talk more at lunch. How about that?”

Eventually, Cyno also left, running in Tighnari’s direction.

Kaveh took a few steps closer to the chair next to him, sitting in front of Alhaitham. They stared at each other again for a brief moment.

“So, what’s your Darshan?” Kaveh asked in a soft tone.

“Haravatat. Judging by the symbol on your hat, you must be from Kshahrewar.” He pointed at the top of Kaveh’s head. “My grandmother was a Kshahrewar student.”

“Oh, that’s… pretty cool.” He gave Alhaitham a yellow smile. “Do you think it’s a hard one? This whole skipping years thing didn’t rub me the right way. It puts some pressure on me.”

“If the director skipped you for two years, you surely can handle yourself,” Alhaitham shrugged. “The Akademiya is a great place, lots of resources. But some scholars here choose to be ignorant most of the time, so don't fall for it.”

Kaveh raised one eyebrow, slightly excited. “You’re supposed to be my junior, but you’re giving advices like a senior.”

Alhaitham blinked, a confused expression on his face. “I’m just telling you what I do. You seem smart.”

[...]

Kaveh bit his lower lip as he typed those messages. Becoming nostalgic over his parents' past would be a constant situation from that moment on, and it would take a lot of time for him to not become emotional about it.

[...]

Alhaitham experienced guilt for the first time after the week was over.

His phone buzzed the whole day during the week with messages from Paradisaea, talking about his brand new school crush and how he was so awesome, so handsome, so smart, so intriguing. He already knew that whenever he received a new message, the subject had to be the new guy.

Jealousy took over him the more he heard about the guy who barely looked him in the eye but still caught his attention every day. Alhaitham frustrated himself knowing he couldn’t stop it, that confessing his feelings to Paradisaea was useless.

However, as the days passed, each message became happier. At first, Paradisaea talked about missing his father or not talking to his mother during the day. He struggled to catch up with all the new classes, assignments, and future tests. He was overwhelmed and barely kept playing Akasha TCG at night, spending most of the time ranting to Alhaitham about his insecurities and struggles in the new city with a new group of friends.

And as much as Alhaitham hated to admit it, the new crush and friends were being a great help. He started venting less about being sad and more about being nervous around the other guy. He relaxed with study sessions and ranked up at the top of the game by the end of the month.

Alhaitham was relieved, but also frustrated. He wanted to be a personal part of his happiness, not just an NPC watching Paradisaea date another guy.

Alhaitham took a deep breath, leaning his body against the back of his chair after reading the messages. Should he really do the same?

Overall, he considered himself to have a pretty calm life. Raised by his grandmother, doing his best at the Akademiya, and with plans of having a stable job and a close social circle. There was this new guy at school who was somehow handsome and very smart, had great social skills, and caught his attention once. But Alhaitham’s only real issue was being in love with Paradisaea and feeling lost about how to deal with it.

And like a loser, Alhaitham smiled at the screen. He had no idea of what Paradisaea looked like, but his mind had already made up countless scenarios kissing him until losing their breath.

[...]

Kaveh decided to ask Alhaitham out for lunch one random afternoon, when Tighnari warned he would be late and Cyno didn’t show up at the Akademiya. Almost immediately, Alhaitham declined his invitation but stayed with him, studying at the same table in the House of Daena, reading books in silence and taking notes on what he found important.

They stayed for the whole afternoon, and while Alhaitham acted normally, Kaveh tortured himself trying to understand why he got dumped.

So, he tried again the next day and got the same answer.

This time, Tighnari watched, but pretended not to listen.

The third time he received a “no” as an answer, his friend decided to intervene, finding Kaveh at the end of the evening, watching the sunset alone at the top of the Akademiya’s tree with a melancholic expression on his face.

“Alhaitham can be pretty blunt when he wants to be,” Tighnari murmured, walking slowly in his direction. Kaveh didn’t turn his head, but took a deep breath.

“It’s not like I’m asking him to date me. I just… want to get to know him more.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time he’s broken someone’s heart.” With a playful tone, Tighnari sat down beside him. “How are you feeling?”

“Confused. And a bit angry,” Kaveh admitted, pouting his lips. “It’s been a month since I started here, and I still know nothing about him. I just know he’s very handsome, and I’ve never felt attracted to someone like this before.”

“Well, if it comforts you, I don’t think he dislikes the idea of going out with you.”

Kaveh finally looked back at Tighnari, eyes and ears attentive.

“It’s just… I think he already has someone in mind.”

“That doesn’t comfort me at all.”

Tighnari let out a dry laugh, nodding his head. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I just think he’s torn over his feelings for someone. And to be very honest, I don’t even think they exist.”

“What, he’s the type to fantasize about fictional characters?” Kaveh raised an eyebrow.

“Not exactly, but… yeah, let’s leave it at that.”

In the end, Kaveh didn’t quite understand the meaning behind his words.

Maybe Alhaitham wasn’t the one for him, but Kaveh planned on fighting before giving up.

Kaveh threw his phone on the bed, hastily messing up his hair as he paced from one side of the room to the other. Alhaitham seemed like a nice guy, although not very talkative, and Kaveh knew deep down that they would make a great match. So why not give him a chance to prove it?

Kaveh hated to admit it, but VulturVolans was right. He had a tendency to overthink situations he had no control over, especially not knowing the future outcomes. His anxiety took over his mind while trying to make it right with Alhaitham before trying to be friends at first.

He held the phone in silence for a few moments, gazing at the screen while breathing slowly, reflecting about what VulturVolans said.

Kaveh giggled, shaking his head. Sometimes, it sounded like VulturVolans tried to flirt with him, and even though he felt butterflies in his stomach with some messages, the idea of actually liking each other never came down to him. They were too friendly with each other.

He laid down comfortably on the mattress, hours passing by as he chatted with his best friend online while scheming his future victories in-game.

[...]

For the first time in a while, Kaveh didn’t meet his friends after classes at the House of Daena. Instead, he grabbed a random book from the library and wandered around the Akademiya hallways, looking for a quiet place to stay and shut down his thoughts for a while.

The first couple of weeks adapting to his new life in Sumeru City were better than he expected, and looking back, Kaveh didn’t feel afraid anymore — at least, not at that moment. Instead, he had gained more confidence over the days, watching his mother recover from the divorce and interacting with other students daily, sharing experiences and spending hours together, fooling around.

Most of the scholars started to recognize him on the streets, as Kaveh was the top student from his Darshan. He participated in all debates, led his group projects, and also assisted them past study hours.

During these days, Kaveh discovered how social he was easy to talk to and fun to be around. He also discovered how Alhaitham seemed to be the exact opposite. Not because he was shy or anything like that. He simply didn’t get along with crowds and spoke in his friend group only when necessary. Alhaitham was very observant, and Kaveh noticed him whenever their eyes met. He never looked away, making sure Kaveh felt heard and understood.

It never became uncomfortable, even after being rejected three times.

Kaveh still logged in daily to Akasha TCG after school, because after all, he needed to live up to his reputation as Paradisaea and defeat VulturVolans whenever there was a chance. He never told anyone about his addiction to the game, living the best of both worlds.

It was on a random day in the middle of the week, however, that Kaveh felt overwhelmed. He wished for silence, to listen to his thoughts while reading a book or taking notes in class. The world around him, however, didn’t seem to quiet down. Everyone was already used to his welcoming personality and reliable help, to the point of suffocating the poor man. Kaveh felt bad for not being at his best, and hiding in the bathroom wasn’t the best idea.

He was reminded of a place Tighnari had shown him once, a place where he could be free from all the noise and unwanted company. Kaveh walked there carefully, carrying only a pen and a sketchbook, watching his back to make sure no one followed him.

But fate played a prank on him. The moment Kaveh found the hidden Akademiya garden, below the outside path, illuminated by a few soft lamps with a bench in the center, surrounded by the most beautiful flowers, someone else was already there.

Alhaitham was there, sitting on the bench, with a book in his hands and headphones in his ears. He looked serene as his eyes scanned the pages, focused, almost biting his lower lip in delight at the book's content. Kaveh held his breath for a second, eyes wide as he stared at Alhaitham, his heart beating faster.

He had never looked so handsome as in that moment. Breathtaking, for sure. Kaveh was at a loss for words, careful not to take even one step further and disturb him from his reading. The gray hair fell to the side whenever he shook his head, either amazed by something he read or moved by a sentence.

Kaveh almost laughed, unable to hide a subtle smile on his face.

“How long are you going to just stand there?” Alhaitham asked, eyes still on the book. Maybe Kaveh hadn’t been as silent as he thought.

He pretended to cough, taking a step forward. “Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.”

“You didn’t.”

Kaveh nodded, walking closer. He turned his head to the flowers around him, smiling at their sweet scent. The place was hidden enough to bring him peace and calm, but Alhaitham was too difficult to figure out. Kaveh never knew what went on in his mind.

“You seem like you want to say something,” Alhaitham observed, looking up this time, one finger on the page where he had stopped. “What is it?”

Kaveh held the sketchbook closer, staring back at him. Maybe that wasn’t the best time, but it felt natural. He took a deep breath before finding confidence in his thoughts.

“I think I like you,” the words came out easier than expected, accompanied by a relieved laugh. “Actually, I know I like you. Not in the way I like Tighnari or Cyno; I mean I want to hold your hand when we’re together and share romantic book references.” Kaveh licked his lips nervously. He had no idea what that look on Alhaitham’s face meant. “Today, all I wanted was to stay alone and silent, but somehow, I don’t mind being next to you. I get nervous getting ready for classes because I don’t know if I look attractive enough that day, and I always feel comfortable around you. I feel like I can say anything, and you’ll either be too honest or too quiet because you don’t want to hurt my feelings. I like that about you.”

“I like how you frown when you disagree with a theory you’re reading, how you silently judge Cyno when he makes a bad joke, or how you hide a smile when you think it’s funny but don’t want to admit it. I think of you when I see a couple on the streets, and when I find out something interesting, you’re the first person I want to share it with. Sometimes you confuse me because I don’t know if you actually like me back or if you’re just being nice for the sake of our friend group.”

“I don’t care anymore. I tried to ask you out three times, and I’m not afraid of your rejection anymore,” Kaveh tucked one strand of hair behind his ear, his chest rising and falling as he realized the speed at which the words left his mouth was too fast for his brain to follow. “And I want to try. I want to hold your hand under the desk when we’re studying together and drink tea while watching the sunset. I really like spending time with you, and it might be something in my head, but I just feel like… I feel like we kind of match.”

[...]

Alhaitham felt inspired on his way home.

For the first time in a long while, he didn’t feel like reading a book while walking to his house. Instead, he chose to focus on each step he took, revisiting Kaveh’s words with mixed feelings in his heart. His confession shifted something inside Alhaitham, along with a new perspective about Kaveh, whom he had never considered a possibility for a romantic experience.

Well, he had pretty scarlet eyes and a nice voice. He was eloquent and knew how to defend his point of view whenever they reached an impasse. Kaveh proved his natural talent for catching everyone’s attention, waving his blonde hair from one side to another as he rushed to their friend group when classes were over.

But Alhaitham had never thought of him romantically and was caught by surprise when Kaveh confessed having feelings for him. And with that surprise came courage. Alhaitham rejected his feelings politely, but his heart beat faster. If Kaveh was so brave to talk about his feelings, without fear of receiving a negative answer, he should be too.

Alhaitham arrived home earlier than expected, ignoring his grandmother’s questions and walking straight to his room. His leg trembled under the desk once he sat down at the computer, booting up Akasha TCG.

He looked at his phone again, anxious. Paradisaea hadn’t answered him back.

What if he was busy with school?

What if he was busy with his new crush?

Alhaitham breathed heavily, his feet hitting the ground countless times as his eyes stared at the game screen, waiting for the notification. What should he say? Should he be honest about all his feelings from the beginning and ask to meet?

He bit his lower lip, trying to calm his anxiety.

Did Kaveh feel that way too? Like the world was about to collapse in front of him because of a silly crush?

Alhaitham had decided: he was going to confess his feelings to Paradisaea, no matter what it took. The words swirled confusedly in his mind as he tried to come up with pretty sentences and captivating phrases.

For the first time in their two years of friendship, Alhaitham hit the call button next to Paradisaea’s name. His mouth hurt from all the biting and licking, but it was now or never.

It took a whole minute for Paradisaea to pick up, and as soon as he did, Alhaitham opened his mouth but said nothing. The first noise on the other side was a sniff, a heavy one. Paradisaea breathed heavily against the microphone, almost as if he were crying.

Alhaitham frowned, his eyes darting from one side to another as he froze in front of his computer, not knowing what to say. He didn’t expected to hear Paradisaea cry on their first call.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” the voice came out weak, almost trembling, followed by a sniff.“You said you wanted to talk. Is something going on? You never agreed to a call before.”

Alhaitham raised a hand to his chest, holding the fabric until the palm of his hand ached. Hearing the soft-toned, melancholic voice brought a strange pain inside him.

“We can talk about this later, of course. It’s… not that important,” he gulped nervously. “What happened? Are you crying?”

He heard a dry laugh on the other side of the call, almost as if Paradisaea were trying to recompose himself or deny his own state. Alhaitham didn’t feel like laughing with him; he was worried about it.

“You were right, maybe I should’ve kept my feelings to myself. I don’t know, everything felt so overwhelming today…” Paradisaea took a deep breath, staying silent for a minute or two. Alhaitham also didn’t say a word, respecting his moment. “I didn’t want to talk to anyone today, and I went to what’s kind of a hidden place there. I planned to be alone, but he was there and suddenly, I just felt like bursting out in words and feelings.”

Alhaitham raised an eyebrow. “Was he a jerk to you?”

“No, not at all. When I arrived, he was just reading and I didn’t want to interrupt, so I kept observing him from a distance. I never felt my heart beating that fast, and I was so sure things got better between us! I said how I liked to discuss theories with him, how I felt comfortable and how I was confident we could make it work. He said…”

Suddenly, it kicked in.

The more Paradisaea talked and shared the details, the more Alhaitham felt the familiarities between his story and Kaveh’s confession.

“I said I wasn’t afraid anymore, and I really wasn’t! He rejected me three times, so I thought it would hurt, but…”

I tried to ask you out three times, and I’m not afraid of your rejection anymore.

“I pictured us dating sometimes at night, doing silly couple stuff like holding hands below tables.”

I want to hold your hand below the desk when we’re studying together and drink tea watching the sunset.

“I felt like…”

I feel like we kinda match.

Alhaitham froze once again. After all those years yearning for a faceless partner in-game, he just realized it was no one but the guy he had rejected a few hours ago. And he felt so stupid for not realizing that before.

Paradisaea moved out the same day Kaveh arrived at the Akademiya.

Paradisaea had a friend group with three other people that matched the exact same description as Kaveh’s friend group.

Paradisaea had tried to ask his college crush out three times, the same amount of times Kaveh had tried asking Alhaitham out.

He covered his face with both hands, Paradisaea — or Kaveh — still venting in his ear about his heartbreak. Alhaitham picked up the pieces in his mind of everything that had happened between them, connecting his fantasies to Kaveh’s handsome and angelic face. The person he had wished to kiss all those years was right in front of him, discussing topics every day, sharing a table at the House of Daena, and tucking his hair behind his ear whenever he felt shy.

Alhaitham repeated in his mind: Paradisaea is Kaveh.

He should’ve guessed before. They had a similar way with words, a natural lack of talent for making jokes and helping people out. They were both charming and captivating, looks aside. Alhaitham had always been sure Paradisaea was handsome inside and out, but at that moment, it all seemed intensified.

Paradisaea had blonde hair, bright scarlet eyes, and a big smile on his face in the early hours of the morning. Kaveh was not only a genius at the Akademiya; he mastered every Akasha TCG game and was always at the top.

Alhaitham left the call before he could answer Paradisaea, grabbing his phone at the same moment and opening Tignari’s chat.

[...]

Kaveh’s tears stopped falling the moment he realized he was alone on the call, with VulturVolans’ name showing up offline in his friend list. Did he cry too much? Was his heartbreak drama moment too much for his friend to handle?

Maybe he was being a little dramatic over his fourth rejection and barely took time to enjoy the first call with VulturVolans after years of friendship, but his first crush experience ended up in failure and it hurt. Kaveh couldn’t help but question if his love life would end up like his mother’s, with a failed marriage and a broken heart in her fifties. In his case, in his twenties.

He wondered about it for long minutes in silence in front of his computer, wiping the occasional tears that insisted on falling down his cheeks. Kaveh bit the tip of his finger, chewing on the nail as his mind replayed the stupid confession once again.

Alhaitham was gentle in his rejection while also encouraging Kaveh to search for a new crush. He tried to make sure Kaveh wouldn’t feel guilty or embarrassed since Alhaitham also already liked someone. Kaveh had no idea who that could be, since he never saw Alhaitham speaking to anyone besides him, Tighnari, and Cyno. The chances of it being one of them seemed minimal, considering how they acted around each other. Most likely, Tighnari and Cyno liked each other.

Kaveh took a deep breath. The fifth one in less than an hour, stealing all the oxygen to himself. He needed answers, and the universe seemed eager to bring them.

The moment he found courage to step out of his room to get some water, the doorbell rang. Considering his mother wouldn't be home for hours, Kaveh raised an eyebrow and rushed to the bathroom mirror.

Great, his eyes were red, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were a puffy mess. It was obvious he had been crying, and even his attempt to wash his face did little to soften the sad expression. Kaveh stared at himself for a while, breathing slowly while gathering courage to answer the door. He debated about just pretending nobody was home, or acting like nothing happened.

He ended up walking to the door silently, opening with minimal to no excitement, his head lowered. That, until he recognized Alhaitham’s shoes.

A very out-of-breath Alhaitham, breathing heavily with chest going up and down, sweat coming down the side of his face and mouth half opened as he reached for air at all costs. His hair was a mess from all the running, all the way back with messy gray strands pointing to different sides. It was a weird contrast to what he was used to seeing everyday: the composed, mysterious and good-looking guy who preferred to read countless books instead of running around the Akademiya halls like most students.

Kaveh froze with his hand holding the door handle.

“Are you…?” He licked his lips nervously, his heart beating fast. “How did you find out I live here?”

But before Alhaitham said a single word, he stepped in closer, surprising Kaveh even more the moment he grabbed his waist and pulled him for a kiss.

Their lips didn’t match at first, with Alhaitham almost kissing his nose and Kaveh still processing what was happening. They stepped away for a single moment, staring at each other with mutual desire and confusion shining in their eyes. Reality hit them before they could say anything.

Alhaitham kissed him again, pushing Kaveh against the open door as Kaveh hugged his neck, sighing in satisfaction once their lips touched, finally matching perfectly against each other. It was so much better than his dreams, his fantasies. Alhaitham kissed him tenderly, passionate and with a genuine desire for more. Kaveh’s heart ached inside his chest with how comfortably he fit between his arms, on the tip of his toes, sharing the same care and love.

Ah, is that what it felt like being liked, being loved? Kaveh wanted to scream, laughing against Alhaitham’s lips, his fingers reaching the soft gray hair and caressing the wet strands in his hand. He cried in relief between the kiss, and Alhaitham grabbed both his cheeks, wiping gently the tears away without parting lips.

“Why didn’t you do this before?” Kaveh whispered against his lips, breathing slowly. They kissed again, tongues meeting and shamelessly echoing the wet sounds inside the house. Kaveh put both hands on top of his chest, pushing Alhaitham away. “I deserve answers.”

“You deserve them, my Paradisaea.” The whisper came in a sweeter tone, and Kaveh experienced the butterflies in his stomach when Alhaitham laughed at his shocked expression.

“You…” Kaveh lost his words, eyes wide open in both confusion and excitement. He never told anyone about his great addiction to AkashaTCG, or about the precious nickname his grandma used to call him. No one, except one person. “How did you…”

“I should reintroduce myself,” Alhaitham threw the sweaty strands of hair back again, tired from both running and the adrenaline from the best kiss of his life. He stared at Kaveh in the eye, the same usual expression with a hint of a smile. The smile Kaveh saw in romantic movies, when someone was so in love it was impossible to hide. “I’m VulturVolans, and believe me, I also had no idea who you were until-”

“The call.” Kaveh completed, barely blinking as he spoke. Reality hit him like a truck. He wanted to hide. “Oh my God, all those texts… I was declaring myself to you!”

“And you can’t imagine how jealous I was,” Alhaitham took a step further again, taking Kaveh’s hand to himself. “Thinking about this guy you had a crush on, meanwhile I was pinning over you like a loser and having to listen to you talk about him and how he was so handsome and so smug . And I never thought I would have the chance, you never seemed to like me back.”

Kaveh turned his head to the other side, his cheeks burning out of embarrassment. “I can’t believe this. All these months, we were so close to each other. God, all the times I cried to you about… you! ”

“You liked me for weeks. Meanwhile, I liked you before even knowing what you looked like, Kaveh.” Alhaitham explained with eyes staring at his, stealing a sweet kiss from the pouty lips. “Your heartbreak story sounded a lot like someone’s heart I broke earlier, and it hit me. You were just the person I liked all those years.”

Kaveh smiled, and the smile turned to a laugh, and he hid his face against Alhaitham’s chest as he laughed out loud. He didn’t mind that his house door was opened and people passed by. It all made sense, somehow.

“Ugh, I’m still mad at you!” He pushed Alhaitham away, frowning. “You rejected me three times over someone you didn’t even know in real life! I could be the ugliest person on the planet!”

“Beauty isn’t everything,” Alhaitham shrugged. “And you’re still handsome, anyway.”

“How did I never notice?” Kaveh whispered to himself, pushing his own hair back. “Both you and VulturVolans were so similar…”

“I guess I could say the same. You’re pretty talkative both in real life and online,” he raised one eyebrow, stepping closer again. “Why? Are you disappointed?”

Kaveh shook his head, denying as the strands of the blonde hair became a pretty mess. “I couldn’t be happier.”