Archive of Our Own ^beta

Cady grins to herself as she runs home, feeling her feet thump against the dusty earth of the savanna and the warm, fresh air filling her lungs. She makes her way to the only landmark as far as the eye can see and pushes the flap of the tent open.

She freezes and winces a little when she sees her parents standing inside and yelling at each other. She hopes they haven't heard her and ducks back out, hiding a little ways away and trying to act busy. She undoes and reties the laces on her boots at least six times before she feels a tap on her shoulder.

Cady jumps and whirls around to find her father, looking solemn but almost... excited, and her mother with her usual stoic expression. "Hi."

"Hi, binti," her dad greets with a warm smile. "We want to talk to you."

Cady nods. "What were you fighting about?"

"Fighting? We weren't fighting," her mother replies.

Cady giggles and rolls her eyes. "The only time you don't sign is when you're arguing and don't want me to know. Kind of counterintuitive."

Her dad chuckles. "We were wondering if you'd ever catch on to that."

"I caught on when I was ten," Cady replies with a smile. "What did you want to talk about?"

Her parents both tense a little, and look warily at each other. Her mother is the first to begin to explain. "I've been offered a job at Northwestern University in Illinois."

Cady's eyes widen. "Illinois like America?"

"Yes, like America," her dad replies with a chuckle.

"And I've been thinking about taking it. Our grant funding is nearly up anyway," her mother continues. "But we want your thoughts-"

Cady feels a squeal rumble out of her and pitches herself at her parents for the tightest hug she can muster. "America! Oh, I could go to school, and try skateboarding! And Starbucks! Maybe I can meet an obese person!"

She starts signing so fast she can't even control her fingers, rapidly sinking into her excitement and letting it overtake her extremities.

"Please say you'll take it! Please please please," Cady begs her mother.

"You really want to leave the only home you've ever known?" her mother asks with a concerned frown.

"Mom, we live in a tent. Moving to..."

"Chicago," her dad supplies helpfully.

"Chicago," Cady echoes. "Is just another adventure!"

"Well... we'd have a lot to figure out, but... Chicago it is," her mom says. Cady shrieks happily and squeezes her parents in another hug. They hold her back, and she can feel her dad's chest shaking as he laughs.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she says happily, running off to go pack.

She can almost hear her dad saying, "I told you so." behind her back.

—-

A week later finds Cady in America, and three days after that finds her walking through the doors of her very first school. Her parents asked her at least seventeen times if she was sure she even wanted to go to school at all rather than sticking with homeschool. Cady reassured them every time that, yes, she did really, really want to go to school, and yes, she's sure she can handle at least giving it a try, and yes, she'll be sure to ask if she needs help, and a million other things.

She had a very rushed enrollment process, and it was a scramble trying to find interpreters in time. Her parents promised they've been secured and there should be someone to meet her.

But, as it turns out, she walks through the wrong doors and completely misses them.

She's caught in between packs of students flowing around her like floodwaters, jostling her every which way until she's turned around and even more lost than she was to begin with. None of them even look at her, or up from their phones.

She eventually shoves her way through to hide against a wall and look around. The only signs posted say things like "Go Lions!" and "Blood drive August 23!" and "Hugs not drugs!" and many other completely unhelpful things. Nothing to point her towards the office or the gym or any other sort of landmark where she might be able to get her bearings.

Cady pulls out her timetable to see which room she's supposed to be in first. A207. Maybe she can get there instead, and her teacher will be able to help her get herself figured out.

She walks to the nearest classroom and checks the number. B102. Uh oh. She walks to the next. B104. She doesn't know what happened to 103, or where the A wing even is. Another plan out.

She's completely alone. She doesn't dare try to navigate the huge building on her own.

Her only choice is to ask someone.

She pulls her phone back out and fumbles with it while she shoves her schedule back into a pocket of her backpack. She carefully taps into her notes app and heads up to the first nice-ish looking kid she can see.

They glare at her as she taps them on the shoulder and holds out her phone so they can read her message.

Hi! I'm deaf, could you please show me where the office is?

They take her phone and tap at it for a second. Cady's relieved until she takes it back and sees it opened to the maps app. She frowns at it in confusion, but the kid is gone by the time she looks up for clarification.

The map is no help. Cady's running out of options.

She's about to try to escape and go tell her mom she wants to stay homeschooled after all when a hand suddenly claps onto her shoulder. She nearly jumps out of her skin and whirls around, but she's flooded with relief upon seeing an actual adult. She holds out her phone again with the same message and a pleading look on her face.

The man smiles kindly and motions for Cady's phone to reply. Cady watches him type for a while before he hands it back.

Hello Cady. My name is Mr. Duvall, I'm the principal here at North Shore High. It's a pleasure to meet you. One of the ladies at the front desk said she saw you come in this way and I figured I should come find you myself. If you'll come with me, I'll show you to the office and get you introduced to your interpreter for the morning.

Cady smiles at him thankfully and follows him as he winds through the meandering halls of the building. She's beyond grateful he came to her rescue. For only being about 40 feet apart on the outside, there's a lot of walking in between the office and where she ended up. She would've gotten hopelessly lost.

Eventually she's led into a warm room with a big desk and a woman standing in front of it chatting with the secretary on the other side. They both look up when they hear the heavy door open and smile at Cady. She can see the woman standing say, "This her?" and Mr. Duvall nods.

The woman greets her and starts signing. Cady is relieved that finally, something, anything, is familiar.

"Hi, Cady, my name is Ms. Bennett, I'm your interpreter for your morning classes," she says.

Cady smiles and nods. "Nice to meet you!"

"Do you have any questions for me before we head to class?"

"I don't think so!" Cady replies happily. Ms. Bennett smiles and nods, and they both look back to Mr. Duvall. He says something Cady can't quite make out. She looks at her interpreter, and she asks how Cady's name is pronounced. Cady signs the letters K and D, and Ms. Bennett nods. She translates back for Mr. Duvall, who shakes his head and mutters something to himself.

Cady shrugs and follows him when he motions them to follow him back out the door. He walks Cady and her interpreter to her homeroom and leaves once he introduces Cady to her teacher.

The teacher introduces herself as Ms. Norbury. She looks at Cady when she talks, instead of the interpreter. Cady likes that, even if she has to get a translation to understand most of it. She signs back a "Thank you!" and gets a wink in reply. She smiles and heads to her seat.

Ms. Bennett stands next to her and explains she'll be somewhere within her line of sight during class to translate, and the only time she'll need to be close is to help during things like group work. Otherwise, Cady shouldn't even notice she's there. She also says she'll only be there for the mornings, and she'll have a different interpreter for the afternoons that'll meet her after lunch.

Cady nods and smiles and says another thanks, and she gets another smile in return. Ms. Bennett signs the bell ringing, and follows the directions she got from Ms. Norbury to lead Cady to her first class, just for today.

The morning goes relatively smoothly. Her teachers all introduce Cady, and she only gets a few weird looks from kids around her. She hunkers down and just focuses on her work, and manages to make it through to lunch.

She's on her own for this, and is immediately overwhelmed as soon as she enters the cafeteria. She can't hear any of the conversations happening around her, but she knows if she could they'd be deafening. Heh.

Cady grips her tray a little tighter and walks through the cafeteria. Everyone looks away. Some people even go so far as to move their things or themselves so there's no room for her to sit at their tables.

Eventually, she's clear to the other side of the cafeteria. She's walked past every table. She looks dejectedly down at her PB&J and keeps walking.

Lunch in the bathroom it is.

———

Janis and Damian have been watching her all morning.

They don't even know her name. All they know is that she's an absolute mess.

Watching her carry her tray of lunch in the direction of the restrooms is the final straw, and they finally decide to take action.

Damian enters and peeks under all the stall doors until they find the right one and silently beckons Janis over. Janis runs to the other side as Damian pounds on it and yells, "You've been in there a very long time, you're either doing drugs or very constipated from using drugs!"

Janis glares at him. But nothing happens.

She peeks at the little socks with sandals under the door. They have the right stall, but those feet haven't moved.

"Hellooooo?" Damian calls. "Anybody home?"

Finally, a response. The door unlocks and flies open, almost bashing Janis in the face until she catches it. The girl inside startles when she sees the two quite tall people looming outside the stall door.

Janis is confused again when she walks right past them, without a word, and heads to wash her hands. Suddenly, something dawns on her and her eyes go wide.

Damian seems even more confused when Janis pulls out her phone, writes something in her notes, and goes to tap the girl on the shoulder. He peeks behind Janis to see what the message says.

are you deaf?

The girl nods almost excitedly and starts signing at them. She deflates a little bit when she sees that they obviously don't understand her and points to Janis' phone. Janis hands it over and waits as she types her response.

Yeah, but I can read lips, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I'm Cady!!!

Janis grins as she takes her phone back.

i'm janis and this is damian. is this easier than reading lips for you?

Cady reads it and types out a response, deleting it and starting over a couple times before she hands the phone back for them to read.

Yeah, but it doesn't really matter. It's nice to meet you.

Janis frowns this time.

of course it matters. we don't know sign so if this is easier we'll do this way

Cady shoots them both a shy, thankful grin. Janis returns it, trying not to stare too long into remarkably beautiful blue eyes. Damian coughs behind her after a moment. Apparently she hadn't succeeded in her mission.

Janis snaps back to attention and to her phone, tapping out another note.

do you wanna come have lunch with us? we can show you around

Cady's smile widens and she gives an eager nod. Janis wraps an arm around her shoulders and leads the three of them out to the cafeteria.

—-

Janis draws Cady a map of the cafeteria, and Damian writes her detailed explanations about all the tables she points to. Cady watches and reads everything with concern brimming in her bright blue eyes. She looks frantically between the map and around the room, trying to find a table she might fit at. She tries to go for the Mathletes, but Janis and Damian quickly redirect that.

Cady taps an unlabeled table in the middle and glances up at the real one with a questioning look.

Janis sighs and picks up her pencil to label it. Damian starts tapping away another explanation as Janis scrawls The Plastics in the little rectangle.

Cady peeks to see what Damian has written.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS.

Cady actually quivers upon reading it and looks between them in fear. She takes the phone and shakily types out her next question.

Can I just sit with you guys?

Janis and Damian read it, have a brief consultation, and smile and nod. Cady sighs in relief and thanks them. Janis slings an arm around her shoulder and comfortingly rubs her bicep.

no prob :)

—-

Cady eats with Janis and Damian. She can actually tell her parents she made friends on her first day. Two, even!

She gets up to throw her garbage away and return the tray, striding with more confidence across the cafeteria than she would've even twenty minutes before.

Cady jumps as she feels a cold hand suddenly snatch her wrist and pull her back a step. She whirls to see who has hold of her, and sees a girl with long, wavy blonde hair staring at her wrist. She's speaking, and Cady squints at her lips trying to make out the words. "...Bracelet... get it?"

Cady blinks. The girl looks up when Cady doesn't respond, and tilts her head at her like Cady is some cute, skittish little animal she stumbled upon in the woods. Cady taps near her ear with her free hand and makes a small arc down to her lips, mouthing, "I'm deaf."

"You're deaf?" the girl asks. Cady's seen that enough to know what it looks like to a t. She nods. The girl pats a seat across from her, and Cady hesitantly sits down. Her two friends lean in close, like they're trying to hear too. But their eyes are firmly on Cady. Cady keeps her eyes on the one who grabbed her. "Can you read lips?"

Something in the universe compels Cady to look up in that moment. She turns her head a bit, and locks eyes with Janis. Janis is frantically shaking her head and motioning her back to her side, mouthing all sorts of what Cady can only assume to be warnings. Cady blinks, but she looks back to the girl and does her best to look confused.

One of the others, a brunette, holds out her phone with the same words written so Cady can read. Cady makes what she hopes is a quiet hum of 'understanding' and shakes her head. Something in Janis' reaction tells her this is a good lie to tell. They all nod and start talking amongst themselves. Well, the other blonde kind of just seems happy to be there, and she smiles at Cady around a mouthful of her lunch. Cady smiles back, and keeps her eyes fully on the first blonde's lips.

It's hard with her being at this angle, leaned across the table to talk to the brunette. Cady can only guess at bits and pieces. "...Good for us... Look at her, of course not... Help her..." She also thinks she sees a mention of cheese fries somewhere in there, but she discounts that as incorrect.

They motion to each other, and Cady jumps a little as the phone is suddenly thrust in front of her again.

So you can't hear like anything at all??

Cady holds up a finger and her phone, tapping out a response for them to read.

Not anymore. I could hear a little bit as a baby, but I got a lot of ear infections and lost what I had left.

They all nod and return to their conversation. Cady continues picking up what little scraps she can. The blonde one who grabbed her motions for her to stand up. Cady hopes her knees aren't actually shaking as she does so.

The three of them swirl around her like vultures, tucking her tshirt into her cargo shorts and twirling her hair around their fingers.

The brunette once again gives her a note to read.

We wanna invite you to have lunch with us all week! You totally belong with us. We wear pink on Wednesdays!!! See you tomorrow it'll be so fetch!

The three of them go strutting off before Cady even has a chance to process the words, let alone respond. She doesn't get a chance to say that she already has a lunch table, thank you very much, or ask what fetch could possibly mean.

She untucks her shirt and fluffs her hair back to how she had it before she returns to Janis and Damian.

"What happened?" Janis asks, seeming to forget Cady can't hear. Cady reads her lips anyway and takes her phone back out of her pocket.

They want me to have lunch with them all week.

Janis' eyes widen and she frantically bats at Damian's arm. Janis seems to be... cackling, as Damian's lips move in the shape of, "Bitch, ow!"

that is tits!!!

Damian grabs the phone, having read what Janis wrote upside down.

She means that's great.

Janis nods when Cady looks at her with a giggle.

But I already said I'd sit with you guys! Maybe we could all have lunch together?

She looks up in confusion when both her companions frantically shake their heads and motion to their throats like they're chopping off their own heads.

not really an option.

I don't get why you hate them so much. I didn't even learn their names.

Janis hates Regina because

Cady will never get to see why as Janis snatches the phone out of his hands and hides it out of his reach. She says something with her brows furrowed in anger and turns back to Cady.

the tall blonde who grabbed you is Regina George. she rules the school and hates everyone. queen bee. we're just drones who work for her and then die.

Gretchen Wieners is the brunette one. she's basically just a spy for Regina. she knows everything about everyone. nothing is safe.

Karen Smith is the last one

I once saw her put a D in the word ORANGE. ORANDGE. GIRL, ORANDGE. THIS GIRL SAID ORANDGE. WITH HER WHOLE CHEST.

Cady giggles a little bit as Damian snatches the phone back when Janis isn't paying attention.

But what's so bad about them? Regina seems kind of cool.

REGINA GEORGE IS NOT COOL SHES A SCUM SUCKING FART MOUTH LIFE RUINER

Nuff said, is all that Damian adds to that.

Caddy listen.

It's Cady.

i'm gonna call you caddy. sit with them. get as much information as you can. then come and tell us every stupid moron thing they say.

Like spy on them? Isn't that bad?

She looks up at her friends in concern. They both pull faces and shake their heads. Janis looks at her so sadly.

we're your friends would we ask you to do something bad?

Cady isn't totally sure. Her mom gave her a thirty minute lecture on the dangers of the American teenager on the ride over and got so into it she almost crashed, driving one-handed.

Okay, sounds like fun.

Janis cheers and wraps her in a tight hug. Cady laughs and leans in a little. Janis is warm, and she smells like paint. And she's a good hugger.

Janis suddenly jolts out of it, and Cady can see Damian jump too. He slams a hand on the table and sighs something. Cady can only make out, "Never used to that."

Janis starts gathering her things, and Cady follows suit. Must've been the bell.

you know where you're going?

Cady shakes her head. Janis chuckles and sneaks around to get Cady's schedule. She squints at it for a second and nods. Cady takes it back when she holds it out and rushes after her as Janis motions for her to follow.

Cady signs her thanks as Janis escorts her to her next class. Cady realizes she'd been staring at her the entire walk instead of the turns she's supposed to take or anything identifiable on the way. She has no idea how to get here. Oh well.

Janis salutes and walks off with a wink. Cady grins and thinks she even feels herself blush as she heads into the classroom. She smiles as she looks up to see Ms. Norbury from the morning talking to a large man.

The woman waves her over when she sees Cady. She's looking right at her, so Cady shyly heads over and stands patiently in front of her. Ms. Norbury says something to the man, and he beams at her with almost off-puttingly shiny teeth. He holds out a hand for her to shake, and she thinks he could fit both of hers in one of his massive ones.

"Hi, Cady, my name is I'll be your afternoon interpreter. You can just call me Liam," he signs.

Cady nods with a smile. "Cool! Nice to meet you."

"You as well. Did Bennett explain everything to you this morning?" he asks. Cady nods again. "Good stuff. Then I am at your service."

Cady laughs and thanks him. He nods and waits up front for her to find her seat. She was a little late, so there's not much left. She takes the first available spot she can find and wiggles a little to make sure she can see both the board and her interpreter. He steps a little to the left to make sure she has a clear view and shoots her a thumbs up. She smiles again and reaches down to pull a pencil out of her backpack.

She jumps when she leans back up to find the boy in front of her looking at her expectantly. Hello, hottie. But what does he want?

Cady just blinks. She waves, and he smiles. Ohhhh, dimples. He says something, and Cady jolts as she sees his lips moving.

"I'm deaf," she mouths for the second time today, adding the sign for good measure.

"You're deaf?" he responds. Cady nods. He leans a little closer. Cady smiles, but it quickly turns into a wince as she feels his breath on her face from him yelling, "DO YOU HAVE A PENCIL?!"

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Cady hands over the one in her hand and grabs another from her pencil case. He nods his thanks and turns back around. Cady wipes a tiny drop of his spit off her binder with her sleeve and waits for class to begin.

Ms. Norbury starts talking about limits. Cady's eyes dart between her interpreter and the equations she's writing on the board. Even still, she raises her hand with the answer to the first one before Ms. Norbury even finishes her sentence. She replies, and Liam translates.

"That's... right, actually. Let's try another one," Cady grins proudly. She gets the next one before Ms. Norbury finishes writing it down. Ms. Norbury glares at an exclamation in the front, and everyone turns to look at her.

The boy turns to look at her again. Cady looks at his lips. "Are you trying to make the rest of us feel dumb?"

She gapes and quickly scribbles in her notebook, I'm not trying to. It's just happening.

He reads it and laughs with a nod. He starts turning around before Cady can read his lips this time. "Okay, cool. I-" and for Cady, that's all he wrote. Well, said. She wishes he'd just write. So much easier. Her mom said it's always the cute ones she has to watch out for.

What a shame.

————-

Early the next morning, Cady meets Janis and Damian by her locker to snag a pink shirt from Damian. She realized late last night that she didn't actually own anything pink to follow the Plastics' Wednesday tradition and frantically texted her new group thread with Janis and Damian to ask if they had anything. Janis' response was a resounding negative, and Damian simply said, Omg yes girl what shade?!

She thinks she could fit two of herself in it at least and it falls to her knees, but it is pink. Good enough.

Cady manages to make it to class on her own today, and her classes go smoothly enough until lunch.

A list of rules is immediately thrust in front of her as soon as she sits down at the Plastics' table. Cady warily looks at her new friends and pulls it closer to read over. You can't wear a tank top two days in a row. You can only wear sweatpants or track pants on Fridays. You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week.

The list is so long and complicated it could put Shakespeare to shame. Cady just nods and hopes she doesn't break any rules. At the bottom, written in pink glittery gel pen but rather aggressively, is, If you break any of these rules you can't sit with us!!

That would ruin everything.

She watches Regina give Gretchen some sort of instruction, and suddenly Cady once again has a phone shoved under her nose.

Regina says to meet us after school today she wants to take you to the mall and get you some shoes!!!!

Cady smiles and nods. Gretchen looks back at Regina, who says something else Cady can't make out.

What size are you?

Cady holds up six fingers. She almost did the sign, but remembers that's how most Americans say three. Regina tilts her head, and Cady watches her lips move in the shape of a, "Really..."

And with that, she's gone.

Janis and Damian come running over. "What did she say?"

She's taking me to the mall to get shoes, Cady writes for them to read.

"That's it?"

Cady shrugs. I think so.

Janis looks at her warily. She takes Cady's phone, seeming to really want to make sure she understands. Cady frowns at her phone when she gives it back.

just promise you'll be careful.

I will, Cady promises. I'll be okay. She's like

Cady pauses for a second as a realization dawns on her, and suddenly types much faster.

She's like the apex predator. If I play my cards right I can have a commensal relationship with her.

What's that? I want one, Damian asks.

Cady laughs. Like in nature. Regina would be a lion, and I'm like a hyena that follows her around eating the carcasses she leaves behind.

Cuteeeee.

Cady laughs again. Janis doesn't.

caddy you said it yourself she's a predator you have got to be careful. don't let the pink and stuff fool you. she's dangerous

Cady pulls Janis into a hug. Janis hesitates for a second, and Cady can feel her heart rate pick up where her nose is tucked against Janis' pulse point. Janis' arms stutter for a second before weakly wrapping around Cady's back and holding her a little closer.

Cady just nods when she pulls back, the best way she can say I'll be careful that Janis can understand. Janis grins and nods back. Cady waves as she goes running towards the student parking lot, and her friends both wave back.

—-

Cady watches the Plastics' every move as they wander around the mall in a little pack. Cady's overwhelmed as soon as they walk in; packed in like a sardine with people all around and so many bright colors and flashing lights. All the stores selling clothes and little kiosks trying to goad them into buying niche phone cases and hair straighteners and more wonders of the electronic world.

Cady doesn't dare look at any of it. If the Plastics move on, she's stranded in this wilderness on her own.

Eventually they end up in a shoe store, and Cady trusts herself enough to wander a little on her own. Surely her friends wouldn't leave her here without letting her know.

She's admiring a nice sturdy sneaker when Gretchen suddenly grasps onto her bicep. Cady jumps about a foot in the air and can only hope she didn't yelp too loud. Gretchen thrusts a shoebox at her, and yet another note for her to read.

Regina wants to buy you these they'll help lift your butt and make your legs look longer

Cady opens the box to see some aggressively pink suede heels. To her they're about a mile high and a millimeter thick. The highest heels she's ever worn were the ones on her hiking boots and only there to protect her feet from rocks and roots. She's not even sure what the purpose of these could be. Lift my butt, I guess?

She forces a smile and nods. Gretchen smiles back and wanders off again. Cady holds the box and waits for the rest of them by the door.

They wander around a while longer, chatting and browsing but not buying. Regina grimaces at half the things Gretchen and Karen pull off the rack and they're hastily stuffed back. None of them bother to translate anything for Cady. No more notes are written, not even any gestures or wild charades like some people try.

She's left wandering practically by herself, alone somehow surrounded by people at the same time. Nobody tells her when it's happening, but she's not sure whether she's disappointed or relieved when they exit the building and head to Regina's car to go home.

———

Cady looks around in awe as they come to an uncomfortably rapid stop outside of Regina's mansion. The other three all clamber out of the car and head towards the door, so Cady scrambles her way out and follows them.

A woman in a bright pink track suit comes sashaying up and pulls Gretchen and Karen into hugs. Cady assumes she's either Regina's mother or a much older sister she hasn't heard about yet. She pauses when she spies Cady standing awkwardly behind them. Cady grins a little and waves.

"This is Cady," Gretchen says. "She's deaf."

The woman in pink nods and turns to Cady. Another yeller. "WELCOME, HONEY!"

Cady just smiles and nods. What about the word deaf do Americans not understand?

That's all Cady gets from anyone. Gretchen returns to her conversation, and Karen joins Regina on the large staircase waiting impatiently to head up to Regina's room. Cady waits awkwardly planted to her spot until everyone scatters. Pink Woman goes off towards the back of the house, and Cady follows her friends up the stairs.

The hallways wind like a labyrinth until they pop into an impossibly pink room. Cream-colored carpet with a pink rug, pink bedspread, pink decorations on the pink walls. Cady squints a little at the brightness and looks around for a moment.

When she looks over at them, the other girls are all fussing over themselves in a floor-length mirror, pinching and pulling and poking and prodding at different parts of themselves. Cady can't tell what they're saying and frankly isn't sure she wants to.

They look over at her after a while. Cady can almost see their tendrils reaching out to pull her in and pretends to be incredibly interested in a little gold tree with necklaces dangling from it. Regina shakes her head with a roll of her eyes and returns her gaze to her own face in the mirror.

Cady hesitantly sits on the bed and waits for them to interact with her again. She jumps as the woman in pink returns brandishing a tray of snacks and a pink book. Cady grabs a few pretzels and one of the massive cocktail-looking drinks off the tray when they're offered. She grins slightly and signs a "Thank you", hoping the woman knows at least that much. Alas, she just coos and blows a kiss back.

More conversations start happening faster than Cady can keep up with, but Gretchen and Karen both seem very excited when the book is revealed. They lie on their stomachs on the ground to pore over it, and Cady scoots a little closer to peek over their shoulders.

BURN BOOK is pasted on with black and white stickers surrounding a red lip print, and lots of little things are harshly scrawled around the edges with a black pen.

They flip to the first page. Cady tilts her head when she sees a photo of a girl she recognizes from her English class. She never knew her name. She frowns at the caption. Trang Pak is a grotsky little beeyotch.

Cady doesn't know what half of those words mean, but knowing who wrote them, they can't be nice.

They titter and turn the page. Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.

That one she does understand. This entire book is just writing mean things about people in their grade! Cady holds herself tightly and continues watching the next few pages. It's like a train crash. Awful, but you can't look away. Not that she's ever seen a train.

She feels her heart skip a beat when they flip to another page and Janis is suddenly looking out of the page. She's a little smaller, her hair is blonder, her smile is a little less bright. Hers is only two words.

SPACE DYKE.

Cady scoots away. She doesn't want to see anymore. She waits for someone to explain, try to justify what Cady just saw.

Nobody does.

Cady sits in the corner for the rest of the afternoon, curled into a ball on the corner of Regina's bed, just observing the way she did in Africa.

Both turn out to be things that could absolutely rip her to shreds.

Janis' warning makes a lot more sense now.

—————

Janis and Damian meet her at her locker the next morning. Cady tells them everything.

They have this book called the Burn Book, and it's just mean things about girls in our grade!

Janis frowns at the note.

what does it say about me?

Visions of the page swirl in front of Cady's vision. Janis' sweet smile. Space dyke. She was so young.

You're not in it.

Cady looks to see her reaction, and is surprised when Janis' only response is, "Those bitches!"

Damian pulls something out of one of Cady's outermost backpack pockets. Cady turns around to see him curiously trying to read the label of the Kälteen bar her mom gave her for breakfast. He points to it and himself, and Cady nods. She's not hungry anyway.

He takes the phone and taps with his free hand as he chews the sticky bar.

What is this? It's awful

Cady laughs. It's a Kälteen bar, they're these Swedish things. My mom used to give them to the kids in Kenya to help them gain weight.

I can feel it working

Cady giggles again. Janis peeks to see what they're talking about and gets a now-familiar glint in her eyes.

we should grind those up and put them in regina's food lol

No!!! I'll keep having lunch with them like I promised but that's it (also what is lol)

you're no funnnnn (it means laughing out loud. but nobody from our generation uses it like that. and if anyone says it means lots of love they're a hot liar)

Cady just nods. Janis nods back. Damian seems entirely invested in his experience with the Kälteen. He jumps suddenly, making both Cady and Janis jolt too.

I have a theatre thing!! See you guys later :3

Janis grimaces at the emoticon while Cady hugs him goodbye. Janis waves over her shoulder, and then they're alone.

Janis slides the toe of her boot against the vinyl flooring of the hallway. Cady wonders if that makes a noise. She's read about squeaking shoes on this kind of floor. But maybe it's only certain kinds of shoes?

She's snapped out of her thought spiral by Janis tapping her on the shoulder. Cady startles and looks at her. Janis grins sheepishly. "Hi. My name is Janis. I am learning sign."

Cady gasps and smiles. Janis' grin grows into a full blown smile. Her signing was slow, and Cady could tell she was actively thinking about every motion. But the shapes were all correct, and... Cady understood.

That was really good!!! she says. Her hands are shaking in excitement so hard that she can barely type. You're learning sign for me?

duh. i wanna be able to talk to you, and stuff. for real. not like this. and studying it gives me something to do instead of homework lol

Cady grins at the screen, and then at her friend. Do you know anything else?

Janis shakes her head. just that and the alphabet for now

Cady doesn't take the phone back to her so both her hands are still free. She links her first fingers together as tightly as she can and shakes them just a little. Her face is scrunched with all her emphasis. Janis tilts her head with a bemused grin.

Cady releases it with a smile and gestures between them. Janis focuses as she spells it out. B-E-S-T  F-R-I-E-N-D-S.

Janis smiles adorably wide as she puts the pieces together and copies the sign. Cady gestures to her face, and Janis mimics the enthusiastic grimace Cady did. Cady nods eagerly and gives her two thumbs up before she gives Janis the tightest hug she can muster.

Janis squeezes her back. Cady feels her chin move against her shoulder like she's speaking, and pulls back to look at her in confusion. Janis just shakes her head and motions for her to follow her to class.

I wonder what that was, Cady thinks to herself as they wander the winding halls to homeroom.

—————

Cady loves Halloween.

She showed up to Damian's house in her "ex-wife" costume and scared the wits out of both him and Janis. She may not have been able to hear it, but knowing she even got Janis to scream is very satisfying.

They all went trick-or-treating around a few of his neighbors just so Cady could have that proper American experience. She got the little plastic pumpkin to carry her treats and everything.

Now, she's settled between her friends on Damian's small loveseat, clad in some extra sweats of Janis' so she's not stuck in her itchy costume all night. She leaves the teeth in until she realizes how hard it is to eat her treats and forgoes them in favor of popcorn and the weird, almost off-putting experience of American chocolate.

Janis and Damian introduce her to all the best Halloween movies. Janis wanted to do horror movies, but The Shining made Cady hide against her shoulder for a solid hour and a half so she couldn't even see the captions. She may not be able to hear the spooky music or the sound effects, but the blood and the gore and the horrors are still not her cup of tea.

Cady likes Hocus Pocus much better. She still rests her head against Janis' shoulder as she nibbles on some popcorn. She frowns when she finally catches Janis' hand sneaking into her bucket to steal her candies and notices just how many empty wrappers sit on her lap.

"I like those, give it back," she signs with a pout. Janis grins and drops it back in the pumpkin. Cady grins too. "You understood?"

Janis nods. "Guessed a little."

Cady nods too. She smiles at the little chocolate Janis returned to her. She really is learning.

Janis taps the bucket and gives her a quizzical look. She spells out C-A-N-D-Y, and then says, "Sign?"

Cady smiles and shows her. She has to gently adjust her finger to the right position against her cheek, but Janis gets it right after that. Cady nods eagerly. "Good!"

Janis chuckles and gently bumps their heads together. She gets Damian involved, and Cady teaches them all the signs for the holiday she can think of. Candy, movie, Halloween, pumpkin, spooky. She can tell they're teasing each other when they make mistakes, and she giggles along with them.

She gets a little misty when they both can independently sign "Happy Halloween!" and they both wrap her in a tight hug. Cady leans into it and holds their arms tightly around her. She knows it'll be a long process, but eventually, maybe she'll actually have friends who can talk to her. They'll actually be able to have a conversation without typing it out.

They barely get back into the movies before Janis goes off on a tirade about the captions being off. They're a few words off at most, and only sometimes, but Janis still rages. She's talking so fast Cady can hardly read her lips. "That's such bullshit! That is not what she said!"

Janis, it's okay, I still understand, Cady writes and shows to her in an attempt to calm her down.

but it's not right, Janis responds. you're not getting the same experience

It's close enough, Cady chuckles. Don't worry about it this time, okay? I'm still having fun.

Janis grumbles a little, but she does cede a bit of her anger and return to the movie. She still points out every time the captions are wrong, but Cady just rolls her eyes and rests her head on her shoulder. Janis seems to calm a little further at the weight of Cady against her.

Cady takes a break when she gets a bit overwhelmed to scroll on her phone for a while. She can tell Janis is peeking, but she doesn't care. It's not like she has anything to hide.

She pauses when she sees the first post from Gretchen. She, Regina, and Karen all together in their Halloween costumes. Then, a blurry crowd of people. A video of people dancing, holding red plastic cups and presumably mingling.

They're all at a party.

A party they didn't even mention to Cady.

Not one of the three of them so much as said the word party.

Or maybe they did. And she just couldn't hear it.

Either way, it's clear she wasn't wanted.

Clear they're having a great time without her.

Janis tenses a little, having seen the photos over her shoulder. Damian seems to notice the shift in energy and looks at them too. Janis gently takes Cady's phone out of her hands and turns it off. Cady jolts a little and looks up at her. Janis looks at her and says, "You okay?"

Cady nods, but she's interrupted by a sniff. Why is she crying? She knew the Plastics didn't care about her. She knew this was all pretend.

It still stings.

She can see Janis coo sadly before she's pulled into a tight hug and lets herself cry into Janis' shoulder. She can only hope she's not sobbing too loud, but she's hurt. Janis doesn't seem to care either way. Janis squeezes her close and rocks her gently from side to side. Cady can feel her talking, and can only assume she's murmuring some kind of reassurance. Cady can't hear them, but the motion of her jaw against her face is comforting.

Damian rubs her back with his large, comforting hand, and that helps soothe her even further.

Janis eventually pries Cady away from her shoulders and dries her tears with the backs of her fingers. Her multiple rings chill Cady's cheeks, a stark contrast to the comforting warmth of her friend's hands. Cady sniffs again. Janis holds her face in her hands and smiles sadly. Cady grins back and wipes her nose. Janis' face sets in a grimace of determination and she shakes her head looking into Cady's sad blue eyes.

she doesn't get to do this again.

Cady tilts her head. Do what again?

Damian grabs the phone to try to explain. Janis snatches it back. Cady watches them play tug-of-war with it and bicker for a moment before Damian manages to get a grip on it and hold it out of Janis' reach. Janis sags into the couch with her arms folded across her chest. Cady looks concernedly between her and Damian flitting around the room grabbing old toys from various bins.

He settles in front of Cady and lays out a series of dolls. Cady watches intently as he acts out various scenes with them and periodically shows her a pre-written script to provide a little more context.

Janis, age twelve, telling her best friend Regina she had a crush on Rapunzel from Tangled. Regina agreeing.

A week later. Regina coming up with a crowd of other girls outside of school before any adults were around.

"Janis, I can't invite you to my pool party because I think you're a lesbian and I can't have a lesbian at my party. There'll be girls there in their bathing suits!"

Janis gradually sinks further into the couch as the story continues.

"I mean, are you a lesbian? What are you?!"

"I am a space alien and I have four butts!"

Cady's jaw drops. Janis refuses to meet her eye. Damian seems torn between trying not to laugh and trying not to cry all at once.

He ends the story hastily by explaining Janis was bullied pretty severely after that, to the point her parents pulled her out of school until high school. Regina never spoke to her again unless it was to tease or taunt or torment her.

Cady feels tears swim in her eyes again and once again pitches herself at Janis. Janis weakly holds her back as Cady winds up with her nose awkwardly pressed somewhere between her belly and her chest.

I'm so sorry, Janis.

it's fine. you didn't know. now you do.

Cady sets her jaw and thinks very hard.

We have to do something.

Janis grins with a machiavellian glint in her eye.

i like the sounds of that. what are you thinking?

——————

A month later, Cady's buying a candy cane. She smiles at Damian in his Santa Claus costume as she scrawls a note on the little red tag to accompany it. She gets a wink as she hands it over with her dollar, and she grins back.

She heads to her lunch table with the Plastics, sans food today. Regina eyes her oddly when she pulls out a Kälteen bar. "What is that?"

Cady blinks, pretending like she hasn't been staring directly at her lips this whole time. Regina rolls her eyes and grabs the box to read. It's all in Swedish, and she quickly puts it back with another eye roll.

You can have one if you want. They're these Swedish diet bar things my mom uses to lose weight. Trying to get rid of the Halloween candy weight, you know?

Regina eyes her oddly but does take one to sample. Cady watches her expression as she chews the bar.

can u bring me a box of these

Of course!

And just like that, two hits have been made.

—————

Can you dance???

Cady jumps as the note is thrust in front of her. She frowns. Why wouldn't she be able to?

What do you mean?

Like to music? Gretchen responds with an irritated look.

Ah. Cady considers this. Usually, yeah. Sometimes I can feel the beat of the music if it's loud enough, and I can usually just copy other people or learn to count in my head if I know when the song starts, she explains. Gretchen reads it and nods before she's off to report to Regina. What fresh hell is this going to be?

The three of them chat, so tightly clustered together that Cady has no hope of reading any lips. She's come to expect it by now. She's just a poster child. Look how nice Regina really is, being friends with that poor little deaf girl.

She jumps and tries to hide a scowl when Gretchen comes back over to her.

We're doing a dance in the winter talent show, do you think you'll be able to?

Cady knows they're only asking in the first place to keep up the facade.

I think so!! If I have enough time to practice and get the timings right that shouldn't be a problem. But if you guys don't want me there I'd be happy just to watch.

Gretchen once again, just nods and goes to convey the message to Regina. Regina eyes her curtly. Cady just grins as politely as she can.

They beckon her over and position her how and where they want her to be. Cady holds it and awkwardly looks at her friends. Blessedly, from that point they all do the same things at the same time, so Cady can easily copy. She has to adjust a little bit to make sure she's actually doing the moves at the same time and not a little behind, but she catches on easily enough. The moves are helpfully simple, if not a bit... raunchy.

Cady looks hopefully at Regina when they've gone through it a couple times. Regina shrugs. "Good enough."

Cady grins to herself. Gretchen nods and gives her two thumbs up, and Cady smiles wider. Maybe this'll actually be fun.

——————

A week before the talent show, things start hitting the fan. Regina's gained so much weight her costume for the show no longer fit, and she had a screaming meltdown at Gretchen and Karen. And Cady, but she just smiled and played dumb through the whole thing.

The candy canes are delivered the next day, the lynchpin in the big plans. Sure enough, when Cady smiles at the note attached to her candy cane, Gretchen practically snatches it from her hand to read.

Thanks for being such a great best friend! Love, Regina ♡︎

Gretchen's hands quiver, and she snaps the candy cane in half before she stands and goes running from the classroom. Cady tries to salvage the mangled bits of her candy before she goes rushing after her.

Gretchen is in floods of tears by the time Cady finds her in the restroom. Cady frowns sympathetically and motions with her phone, wordlessly asking Gretchen to text her what's going on. Gretchen nods shakily and her thumbs tap away so quickly they blur a little.

How are you and Regina best friends? You don't even talk

Oh, we've just been texting a lot more recently. I'm sure she didn't mean it.

Well if you and Regina are best friends now then YOU can be in charge of keeping all of her secrets
Like she bought you those high heeled shoes just to make fun of you. Bc she knew you wouldn't be able to walk in them
And she says she has a nose job but it's just to distract you from the fact that she had one of her ears moved!
And she's not really blonde!!
Her natural color is dark blonde
And she totally cheats on Aaron!
Every Thursday she says she has SAT prep but she's actually hooking up with Shane Oman in the North Shore lion costume

Cady blinks.

She makes him wear the costume?

NO THEYRE BOTH IN THE COSTUME

Cady's jaw drops and she covers her open mouth with her hand.

And I never told anyone because I am such a good friend

Cady wraps Gretchen in a gentle hug when she breaks down in tears once again. Behind her back, she's taking screenshots and sending them off to Janis and Damian.

Another ding against Regina's perfect Plastic armor.

——————

Cady anxiously nibbles on her thumbnail as she looks out from the wings. The costume has (figuratively) grown on her a little over the month or so of practice, but she is still absolutely freezing. And she's terrified. What if she messes up? What if she's off? What if the music isn't actually synced to start playing when the curtain lifts? Cady would be crucified.

Janis tried to give her a little pep talk, but she didn't know enough encouraging signs and Cady was too overwhelmed to read much of her lips. She grins to herself and blushes a little as she remembers the dorky grin and double thumbs up Janis eventually resorted to.

She jolts out of her reverie when her friends walk on stage. She hustles after them and takes her place on stage. When she shifts her eyes to the left, her friends are all on their starting poses. She gets into hers, and the blue velvet curtain in front of them rises.

Cady counts, and does her moves. Janis' face is somewhere between a smile and a grimace when Cady finds her in the crowd, and she just beams.

Until Janis' mouth falls open.

Cady startles and looks around, and notices she's the only one left on stage. Regina is rushing around the wings on the other side of the stage... without bottoms on.

Cady isn't completely sure what to do, so she just runs back to the side she came from.

Janis and Damian meet her backstage, both strangely flushed but smiling widely.

cads, you totally did it! regina's gained so much weight her skirt fucking fell off in the middle of your dance!

Cady's eyes widen and she gapes at Janis. Janis just nods mischievously.

Some semblance of Cady's conscience gnaws at her gut and stings in the back of her mind. Whatever.

——

Cady's eyes are glued to her phone as she nibbles on Christmas cookies in Damian's kitchen. They're delicious, still warm and flooding her head with the delicious aromas of cinnamon and sugar.

And yet she doesn't notice.

Every Tweet, every Instagram post, Snapchat story, even Facebook is... them.

She's lost count of how many times she's seen the same photo of Regina's ass, bent over and practically swallowing her undergarments. Far more than she'd ever care to see or hopes to see again.

It would be enough for her to set her phone down for the entirety of winter break and just try again when school starts, if not for all the posts about her. They're almost as frequent, and they're all overwhelmingly kind.

Kids Cady barely even recognizes are posting little clips of the dance. Cady was originally embarrassed she had just kept going, smiling out at the crowd like nothing was amiss.

Until she started reading the comments.

omg cady's the only one who kept dancing and she can't even hear the music!!

She's so cute in that costume I can't

She's way hotter than Regina deadass. Katie hmu

aww she and gretchen look like sisters!!

Her Instagram is just pictures of lions and sign language tutorials! Totally followed! Go Kady!

Sure enough, just about everywhere she can see, her follower count is ticking up, up, up.

Cady decides texting anyone to see if Regina is okay is too risky to be worth it. She posts a quick little video thanking everyone in sign language with a caption expressing her gratitude for all the followers, and puts her phone down. It's always in the back of her mind as she watches holiday movies with Janis and Damian, but she manages to resist looking at it again until she gets home.

She doesn't need much sleep anyway.

——————

Cady's refreshed walking back into school in January. She's had a few weeks to rest and do schoolwork on her own time. She got to hang out a lot with Janis and Damian, and even saw the Plastics on Boxing Day to exchange gifts. Theirs were all much less personal than the Africa necklace she got from Janis and the USB of musical bootlegs Damian subtitled himself for her to watch.

People look at her as she walks to her locker. She's used to glances, and the occasional stare from people who've heard she's deaf as if they can see it on her somehow.

But today, she gets smiles. Approving nods from a few boys. People wave hello, and seem a little too excited when she grins back. She even caught Janis staring at her ass in her short skirt during homeroom. That flattered her most, though she doesn't care to admit it.

She knows something is up when even Karen signs asking her how she is at lunch. Cady's eyes widen, almost not believing the movements. Gretchen signs asking if she's okay, and her jaw drops further.

They clearly don't know much more than that, and seem to have mostly followed the little videos Cady's made over the last few months teaching various signs. She started making them to help teach Janis and Damian, but began posting them at Damian's suggestion. Now that practically the whole school follows her, they're some of her most popular posts.

Cady just nods and sits down with her tray. She looks up when she sees a motion in her peripheral and is surprised to find Regina. Well, Regina isn't the surprising part.

It's the fact she's wearing sweatpants. On a Wednesday. And they're not even pink!

She makes to sit down, but Gretchen slides her tray across the table to take her spot before she can. Cady only looks up in time to catch the tail end of her speaking. "You can't sit with us."

They have a dialogue Cady can't keep up with, and then Gretchen looks to her. Karen and Regina both look as well, both with shocked looks on their faces.

Cady can put the pieces together well enough. She pulls the list of their rules out of her backpack where it's been since it was given to her and taps it with a quirked eyebrow. Gretchen and Karen nod and give Regina a finite look. Cady watches Regina set her jaw, huff, and leave. She says something that makes everyone Cady didn't know was watching pull out their phones and take pictures. Cady takes advantage of their attention being off her to turn to Gretchen and Karen.

"She left!" Gretchen exclaims.

She left, Cady thinks to herself.

What does that mean?

——————

Cady meets Janis and Damian in the art room during their free period. Janis grins as she sees her, and Cady smiles back, in spite of the strange pressure in her chest and fluttering in her belly.

Janis holds out her phone almost immediately. Cady takes it and reads over what she has written.

hey i'm having an art show this weekend and i want you there. do u need a ride?

Cady looks at it sadly. I cant this weekend, Jay, I'm so sorry. I have tickets to this thing in Madison with my parents. I promise I'll be there next time. You'll do great ♡︎

Janis pouts at the phone when Cady passes it back. it's no big deal. have fun in madison :)

Cady grins and gives her friend a squeeze, peeking at the painting of Damian she's working on before she goes to his side and drapes herself across his shoulders. Damian hauls her into his lap, and Cady feels herself squeal in surprise. Janis looks up at them with a smile and a glare at Damian for moving.

"Your voice is cute," she signs to Cady.

"Really?"

Janis nods. Cady blushes and grins at her. Janis shoots her a wink and returns to her painting.

Cady stays snuggled up to Damian for the rest of the period. She's almost thrown out of his lap when he jumps at the bell ringing. Janis laughs and comes to save Cady as she stumbles over her high heels.

"Thanks," Cady says. Janis grins.

"You're welcome."

Cady smiles. She's already learning so much.

Janis grabs her bag and slides her easel back to a safe place to let her painting dry. Cady has to hold back from taking her hand as they walk to class together. She pulls out her phone to keep them busy instead.

Janis looks at her with a smile when her own phone buzzes in her pocket.

Can I ask you something?

yeah of course

Do I sound deaf?
Like do I have a "deaf accent?"
My parents always say I don't but I feel like they're just lying because they don't want me to be embarrassed about it

idk i've never really heard you speak
either way you shouldn't be embarrassed

But you can't hear it when I laugh or anything?

i always just hear your laugh i've never listened to see if you "sound deaf" or anything

Cady smiles at her phone and feels herself blush again.

If I talk to you out loud will you tell me what it sounds like?

Janis nods. Cady hauls her into a restroom people avoid and pokes around anxiously to make sure they're alone. Janis looks at her expectantly.

you good?

I don't know what to say

Janis laughs.

don't put so much pressure behind it
just introduce yourself or something

Cady nods. She takes a deep breath and tries to keep her volume low as she says, "Hi. I'm Cady. I'm sixteen and I'm deaf."

Janis smiles so wide it looks like it's about to stretch off her face. Cady shyly smiles back. She switches back to signing and asks, "Deaf?"

Janis nods and pulls out her phone. Cady deflates a little, but checks hers when Janis' evaluation of her voice comes through.

you do sound deaf but your voice is so cute
you sound very sweet
but just like you can't hear yourself
your annunciation is just a bit strange

Cady nods, but it's clearly not as enthusiastic as Janis was expecting.

your voice is yours anyone who would judge it is an asshat and i will throw hands
and whether or not you start speaking out loud is still up to you
i'd love to hear you more but you can just sign if that's what you want
don't let anyone tell you how to do this caddy

Cady blinks back tears and throws herself at her friend. Out loud again, she says, "Thank you, Janis."

Janis chuckles and squeezes her back. She pulls back and spells out, "Anytime."

———

Gretchen and Karen ask Cady to get frozen yogurt after school. Cady's in the mood for another first and readily tags along.

Or... maybe they do. They both skitter around the mall after her, letting her lead the way. Cady takes advantage of it and looks around a few clothing stores before they head to the froyo place.

All of them pull out their phones once they have their little cardboard cups loaded with yogurt and toppings.

Gretchen
so what are we doing for karen's birthday??

Shit. Cady completely forgot.

Omg right!! It's coming up

Karen
🍾👯‍♀️🪩🪅🥳🎊🎉???

A party could be fun
I have tickets to this thing in Madison with my parents this weekend

Cady's in the middle of typing when Gretchen responds.

Gretchen
omg your parents are going away??
perfect!

Cady's about to respond that she's going with them, but she looks at Karen, who looks back with an excited grin. She can't say no.

Uh yeah. I can host as long as it's nothing too crazy

Gretchen
awesome!! we'll handle the rest!

Cady tries to drown her worries in yogurt. What has she just gotten herself into?

—————

It took a good deal of convincing to get her parents to let her stay home by herself. Reassurance that they have burglar and fire and carbon monoxide alarms that flash lights in addition to making noise so she'll be safe in a worst case scenario. Promises she'll never open the door for anyone unless she has a friend over or orders food. Begging and pleading to attend Janis' art show.

And, of course, promising not to throw any parties.

Sorry, mom and dad.

———

Practically as soon as her parents leave, Gretchen and Karen roll up. Cady gives Karen the random necklace she bought at the mall and helps her put it on. Cady helps string up decorations for a while before she slips upstairs to change. Both her friends clap when she comes downstairs in her short dress, tights, and high heels. She's practiced walking in them for a week just so she won't look like a total idiot.

Cady's a little concerned by the amount of booze suddenly sitting on her counter when she returns to the kitchen. She's not sure what all there is, but she's pretty sure none of it is legal.

She jumps when she turns around and Gretchen is suddenly behind her. She holds out a small cup of pink liquid. Cady takes it and looks at her questioningly. Karen comes up and drinks one herself, so it must be okay.

Cady shrugs and downs it. She winces at the acrid chemical taste of the bubblegum flavoring and the burn of whatever liquor it is in the back of her throat. She coughs a little and tries to swallow down her regret along with the liquid.

She rests the empty cup back on the tray Gretchen has and sticks out her tongue. Practically as soon as the cup is back with the rest, the door slams open, and people flood in.

Cady did not get enough cheese and crackers.

——————

Cady spends most of the party stumbling around in a haze. She can feel the bass thumping and knows the music must be cranked. She can dance along to that a little, and she spends more time on the coffee table than she cares to admit.

She's the only one who eats the snacks she prepared, and she has a few more shots. The more she drinks, the less she can taste them. Each one goes down easier until her vision swims and her limbs feel like concrete.

Nobody really tries to talk to her, but a lot of people come up for selfies. Or just take photos of her while she's not totally paying attention.

It's too hot.

The air is thick.

Her stomach hurts.

She stumbles out to her front yard in a ditch attempt to ward off what's probably a brewing panic attack. Some deep breaths do little to ease the nausea, but she can pretend. It helps clear her head; the frigid night air burning in her nose helping shake off some of the alcoholic haze and steady her mind.

She screams and falls back when something suddenly lands at her feet. She looks up in shock to see where it came from, and feels the blood drain from her face when Janis stands before her.

"You are such a liar," she says.

"Janis, wait, I can explain," Cady pleads.

"You said you were going out of town! You're here! There's nothing to explain," Janis responds.

"But-"

Janis just shakes her head. "I don't want to hear it."

Cady almost laughs. The irony of it all.

"Keep that. It won a prize," Janis practically spits.

Cady picks up the painting Janis had thrown at her. It blurs through tears as she sees her own face smiling back at her, with Janis and Damian next to her. All of them look so... happy.

"Janis," she says out loud, choking out a sob as soon as her best friend's name passes her lips. "Please."

Janis shakes her head again. "Go back to your party, Cady."

Cady sobs again. It's all she can do.

She doesn't even register that Janis signed the whole conversation.

——————

Cady almost doesn't return to school that Monday.

Or ever.

She had the message asking if she could go back to being homeschooled drafted to send to her parents, the little bar blinking temptingly at her, but she couldn't bring herself to hit the send button. She's not entirely sure why. Things would be so much easier.

Or would they?

Could she live with herself if she left things the way they are?

If she didn't tell Regina everything she'd done?

If she didn't let Gretchen and Karen know?

If she never got the chance to apologize to Damian?

And Janis.

God, where does she even begin?

Nobody notices anything amiss. That's the nice thing about being popular.

Nobody actually cares.

She gets smiles and nods and a few high fives from people who were at her party. Cady fakes a smile and does what she can.

Apparently it's not very convincing. Her interpreter asks if she's okay as soon as she sees her. Cady pulls another grin and nods, passing it off as just being tired. Hopefully people aren't talking too obviously about the party the deaf girl threw over the weekend.

She plops in her seat and keeps her eyes to her phone. She jolts when it buzzes in her hand and scrambles to tap the notification so fast she nearly drops her phone when she sees it's a text from Janis.

She hasn't heard from her since Saturday.

She wasn't expecting to ever again.

She actually had thought Janis had blocked her. All her drunken pleading and desperate sober apologies and explanations fell on deaf ears. Or eyes.

Sent a photo: what is this?

Cady's mouth drops open when she sees a photo of Janis' page in the Burn Book.

How did she find that?

No.

Regina released it.

Cady heads to the door of the classroom and out into the hallway. The peaceful, normal school hall she walked through to get to class is no more. People are punching, kicking, biting, pulling. Cady gapes and turns back to go into the classroom.

Ms. Bennett looks at her in concern. "The principal just called. He wants to talk to you."

Cady nods and goes to grab her bag.

——————

Mr. Duvall looks up when they walk into his office. Three chairs are set up in front of his desk, but they're the first ones there.

No time like the present.

"I wrote it."

Ms. Bennett gapes at her. "Cady, there's no way you could've-"

"I wrote it. Tell him," Cady insists.

The man seems to know there's no way it could've been Cady. She had no way of getting the photos. Has no way of knowing that much about all her classmates. She can't even hear the gossip.

He also knows there's no way the real perpetrator will ever get punished. He needs someone to blame. Someone to get him through the red tape and the paperwork. He needs a name. A scapegoat.

Cady needs to atone. She's not sure whether this is a win-win or a lose-lose.

"Two weeks' suspension and you're banned from Spring Fling."

——————

Cady spies Regina outside as she leaves the building for the last time. Well, last time for two weeks.

She isn't sure why she heads over to her. To apologize? Ask why she released the book? Why she did all that to Janis? To Gretchen, Karen, everyone? To her?

Regina rolls her eyes as Cady taps her shoulder and she turns to find her there. Cady didn't dare call out. If Janis said she sounds deaf, she sounds deaf. She knows somehow, some way, Regina would find a way to use it against her.

"What do you want?" Regina huffs. Cady takes a second to read her lips and process.

She holds up her phone and mouths, "Talk?"

Regina scoffs and walks away. Cady blinks before she follows. She doesn't get to get away without an explanation. An apology. From which one of them, Cady can't say, but she follows regardless.

She can tell by the way her shoulders tense that Regina is yelling something. She stops in the street and whirls around, screaming into the wind. Cady can't hear, can't even read her lips well enough to understand, but tears start streaming down her face nonetheless.

She reaches out, steps closer, feels herself sob.

As soon as her foot touches the ground, Regina's lift.

And come back to Earth ten feet down the road.

Cady shrieks and covers her mouth in shock. Does she run over, does she help? Can she help?

The bus driver slams the breaks and comes rushing over. Regina's body is swarmed by onlookers. God, her mom is here. Gretchen, Karen. Janis.

Everyone saw everything.

Cady stands where she was, completely frozen  in shock. She's not even sure how long.

An ambulance arrives.

Regina's neck is immobilized, and her limp form is strapped to a stretcher. She's slid into the back of the vehicle and sped off to the hospital.

Cady's feet have been glued to the ground that

entire

time.

Ms. Norbury eventually guides her back into the school and sits her in her classroom. Cady's afternoon interpreter is still there. He also saw everything and helpfully decided to stick around. He helps translate when the police arrive to speak to everyone.

Thank god everyone around seemed to be filming, preparing for drama. An argument.

The various angles are enough to clear Cady of any wrongdoing. She didn't push her, didn't even touch her.

Regina was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or was that Cady?

———

The next few weeks are hell.

Cady's still suspended. She has no school to fill her time. No work. Nothing to occupy herself.

She watches a little TV and a few movies, but it's not the same without Janis next to her ranting about when the captions are wrong or Damian being there to hide against during the gory parts of scary movies.

She plays a bit of Animal Crossing, but again, it just brings back bad memories.

All that's left is to browse social media. Hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures and videos and Tweets and posts about Regina. Fundraisers to cover her surgery costs. Cady's glad to see those, even though it isn't like Regina's family couldn't easily cover them. Videos of the accident. Theories about Cady pushing her. The supposed backstories to the drama that the people posting don't know the first thing about.

Cady's followers are gone, but she doesn't dare try to defend herself. She doesn't have the right. She just lets herself be slandered. Lets them drag her name through the mud until she's back to where she began.

Square one.

Nobody talks to her.

Not even Janis.

Her best friend.

Can Cady call her that anymore?

Can she call her that when Janis was always so much more?

Sure, she might not have even known it herself then. But looking back, Cady has always loved her. The hugs, the laughs, the jokes, the grins. The conversations. The glances. Cady was in love with her from the beginning.

She just realized too late.

Everything is always too late.

Janis hates her.

Regina might die. And hates her.

Everyone hates her.

Cady can't blame them.

All she can do is turn her phone off, roll over, and cry herself to sleep.

——————

She doesn't dare turn it back on until the day before she goes back to school.

She clears out all the old notifications. People seem to have completely forgotten her about a week ago. The fundraisers for Regina are still going, and most people have returned to fawning over her. Cady's almost relieved.

A little red number one still lingers around her messages app when the rest have been cleared away. Cady frowns in concern and taps into it.

She grins when she sees it's from Karen.

deer KD 😾💩😱

Hey. Are you mad at me?

not anymore. thx 4 letting me vent
also ✏️👯‍♀️☂️

Uh
What do those mean

thx 4 taking the blame 4 the burn book
i like to xpress myself thru emojis bc i'm stupid

You're not stupid

no i am
i'm failing everything
sometimes i think the only thing i understand is the rool of 2s

Rule of twos? Is that a math thing?

haha 👙 noooo
the rool of 2s is how everything is really too things
like how u were tricking us but also still had fun with us
like how when regina is mean 2 me it's only bc she is unhappy with herself
and how when coach car tells me he has an open marridge that his wife probly doesn't no that they do
and i should probly leave the parking lot immediately
witch i do

That's really smart, Karen

and how getting suspended actually made it easier bc u could just hyde from everyone
and when u come back 2morow it's gonna be SO much worse
so i'll still be ur friend

Thanks, Karen.

👍🏻

Cady isn't sure whether she's supposed to be reassured or threatened by that. At least she hopefully still has someone. Even if they can't actually speak to each other.

Maybe this whole emoji language is worth learning.

——————

Things are odd as she walks back into school on Monday.

People give her a wide berth in the hallways. Gone are the approving grins, the waves and the nods. Nobody signs even a single word. Not even a letter. People stare. Their gazes burn, make Cady's skin prickle and itch.

She keeps her gaze on the ground and heads to class.

She has to eat lunch in the bathroom again. Just like her first day.

God, how she wishes Damian and Janis would come save her again. The safety she felt seeing them there. The comfort. The security.

That's all gone now.

Cady did actually see Janis on the way to her math class. She gave an apologetic grin in her direction. Janis just looked away.

In a strange way, that gave Cady hope. Janis didn't grimace the way she had before Cady was suspended. Didn't glare at her so hard even Cady could nearly hear the malicious, angry thoughts stewing in her head.

Maybe one day Cady will get to apologize. That's all she can hope for. When Janis is ready.

———

She spends her free period wandering around making up the quizzes and tests she missed in all her classes during her suspension.

Calculus is the last one. Ms. Norbury and Cady's interpreter both smile almost sadly as she hands in her quiz. Ms. Norbury sets right to grading it and hands it back. "100. Welcome back, nerd."

Cady watches Liam translate and giggles. "Thanks."

Ms. Norbury blessedly knows at least that much sign, and she smiles back. Cady is about to return to her seat to start on all the actual schoolwork with what remains of her free period, but the woman begins speaking again. Cady looks to her interpreter again.

"Heard you're banned from Spring Fling," she begins.

Cady hesitates for a second before she nods.

"Great! Because I have a way for you to get some extra credit. It'll help get your grade back up," Ms. Norbury continues.

Cady nods. That sounds helpful. She jolts when Kevin G. comes up behind her and winds an arm around her shoulders. He has a blue fabric in his hands which he gives to her, going off about something nonsensical  Liam doesn't even bother trying to translate.

Cady unfolds the fabric to see it's a polo shirt. A Mathletes polo shirt. She stares at the little logo monogrammed on the lapel and has to blink back tears. "You want me to be a Mathlete? I can?"

Ms. Norbury nods and explains that she made sure Cady could have her interpreter, and that all the questions and prompts will be displayed on a board anyway, so she won't be behind at all.

"See you Friday?"

Cady nods with a proud smile, clutching the polo close to her chest. "Friday."

——————

She stays after school on Friday, and so does . They do a quick practice one to get their math minds warmed up, and then Cady slips into the restroom to change into her uniform. It's a little dorky, and she wouldn't have been caught dead in it a month ago. Tight khaki pants, the famous blue polo. It's soft and perfectly snug. Cady folds down the collar and does one of the buttons at her neck, smiling at herself proudly. She gives her curls a last fluff and heads back to her team.

She's almost buzzing with excitement as they clamber into the van to head to the competition venue. The boys all try eagerly to talk to her on the way, to the point Liam  can hardly keep up. He refuses to teach Marwan how to swear in sign, but he and Cady both teach the lot of them some math signs.

They protest when they learn there isn't a sign for Mathletes and all cajole Cady into voting on the best ones they come up with. Cady isn't sure any of them are great, but she does laugh, and it helps with her nerves.

The boys all dance their way into the building and drag Cady along with them. She laughs and heads into the auditorium after them.

There's two podiums set up, each with four microphones. Cady grins proudly as she sees she even gets a placard with her name at her spot. Ms. Norbury pulls her aside and asks the moderators to pull up a problem that won't be used to make sure Cady can read the questions and participate at the same time as everyone else. They all have buzzers, so as long as she presses hers in time, she won't lose any time signing and having her responses interpreted.

The other team comes in from the other side of the stage. Cady's nerves are suddenly back. Their uniforms seem a lot more involved. Maybe they're all better prepared. Maybe they get along with each other better. Cady's teammates only really got to know her on the drive over.

"You ready?" her interpreter asks. Cady nods and shakes herself out. He takes his place by the moderator and shoots her a wink. Ms. Norbury gives her two thumbs up, and they all head to their places. Kevin claps her on the back and hollers, "Let's do this thing!" as she massages her now-sore shoulder. Or at least she thinks that's what he says. She's honestly never quite sure with him.

The moderator introduces himself and the competitors, and then gestures to the screen. Cady's eyes snap to it and she grabs her pencil in case she needs to work it out. She barely finishes reading the equation before Kevin slams his buzzer and answers. Cady smiles as the moderator says, "Correct!" and they move on.

The questions move so quickly Cady can barely keep up. She can nearly feel her pupils dilating as she gets hooked on the adrenaline of it all. Each team sort of ping pongs getting the correct answers, back and forth, back and forth. Cady gets a good few correct in there, translated by Liam. There's a few times where one team will get multiple correct in a row, but they're still tied as they head into the final round.

They spilt for a quick break before they head into the last lightning round. Ms. Norbury and  both come up to her. "How you feeling?"

"Amazing," Cady responds with a wide, probably slightly unhinged-looking smile.

Ms. Norbury wraps a proud arm around her shoulder and says, "Good! Go take a water."

Cady turns where she points and startles back as she sees Janis.

Janis grins sadly and hands her a water bottle before she walks off. Cady takes it with a thankful smile, then whirls around to stare at her teacher. Ms. Norbury laughs at her incredulity.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Cady pleads.

"I'm a pusher, Cady," Ms. Norbury replies with a proud, nearly conniving grin. "If you can do this in front of her, you can do anything."

Cady smiles faintly. I can do this. Even if Janis is here. "Thanks, Ms. Norbury."

The woman just nods and waves her off back to her spot. Cady returns to her podium and watches everyone else slowly return to theirs. She rolls out her neck and shoulders and looks around for Janis.

She's sitting next to Ms. Norbury in the crowd to watch the competition. They're whispering to each other. Cady snaps her gaze away when they both glance at her, pretending to focus on... what she's actually meant to be focused on.

The moderator returns and introduces the final lightning round and instructs each team to pick their opponent. Cady huddles with the boys and looks between them, trying to read their lips as they whisper to each other. She can basically only piece out them saying, "The girl?" over and over again. That might actually be all they're saying. They all look at her for confirmation. Cady glances between them and nods hesitantly. They all nod back and break.

Kevin announces their pick, and the other team announces theirs. Cady looks around briefly in confusion until she realizes they picked her.

She heads to the middle and shakes hands with the other girl. Or tries, as the other girl simply scowls and looks away when she reaches out. Cady nods and clears her throat before she pulls it back and looks at the screen.

The moderator says something, and then the problem flashes on the screen. Cady hunches over her paper and promptly forgets what she just read. Her eyes flick briefly to Janis in the audience before she closes them.

She's here. She could've easily gone to Spring Fling. Or stayed home. Gone out with Damian. But she came here. To a Mathletes competition, of all places. In which Cady is competing. She came here. To hand out water.

That has to mean something.

Surely.

Maybe she came for me-

The other girl slams her buzzer. Cady gasps and hopes she didn't curse out loud. Or at least too loud. She completely forgot about the actual competition. Stupid, Cady.

Liam suddenly starts signing again. Cady looks as he interprets what the monitor is saying. "That answer is incorrect. If Miss Heron can answer correctly, we have a winner."

Cady blinks. She looks at her team. They all motion for her to go, so Cady looks back to the problem. Find the limit.

God, why can't she remember anything about limits? They're normally so simple. She wracks her brain, trying to go back to when they learned about them in class.

Ah.

That was the day she found out Janis was learning sign.

She started picking up an entire language just to be able to talk to Cady. Because she wanted to be able to have a real conversation with her.

Not now, come on. Stupid with love.

Limits.

What the heck are limits? Shit.

No, come on, you got this. Full of potential. The answers are right in your lap. Your limit does not exist.

It doesn't exist.

Cady snaps her head to look at the equation once again.

"The limit does not exist!"

"Your new state champions... the North Shore Mathletes!"

The boys all cheer and swarm around Cady. She laughs and gives them hugs and pointedly looks away as Kevin rips off his shirt. Ms. Norbury wraps her in a proud, tight hug and hands her a letterman jacket. Cady grins and tugs it on. It fits well. Even better than her old fitted skirts and tops.

Janis slowly strides up to her with her thumbs in the pockets of her pants and a small grin on her face. The corners of her mouth are just barely quirked up. Cady grins back.

"Good job, nerd," Janis greets. Cady laughs.

"Thanks. Your signing has gotten so good," she says. Janis grins.

"Been practicing for eight months."

Cady blinks. "You kept going?"

Janis nods. "We should talk. Not quite good enough to sign the whole thing yet."

Cady laughs. "Let me say bye, I'll be right there."

Janis nods and waves her back to her team. Cady goes and returns to the group hug she had managed to dodge the first time.

"Everyone is going to the dance now, do you want to go with them?" her interpreter asks.

Cady shakes her head. "I'm still banned."

"I can get you in if you want," Ms. Norbury offers.

Cady smiles and considers it for the briefest of moments before she shakes her head again. "I'm gonna go with Janis, I really need to talk to her. But thank you."

Ms. Norbury nods and pats her on the shoulder. "Get home safe."

"Thanks," Cady replies with a grin. She waves bye to everyone and heads back to her... are they friends again?

Could they be more?

Don't think like that, she chides herself as she stands in front of her again. Janis smiles again as she sees her and leads her out to the parking lot. Cady grins as she sees that old familiar beat up truck that gave her so many rides home before... everything.

She clambers into the passenger seat, and Janis gets into place in the driver's seat. Nobody moves. They don't even buckle. Cady pulls out her phone and wiggles it with a questioning glance.

Janis nods and thrusts her hips up to slide hers out of her back pocket. Cady feels herself blush and looks away, hoping she hasn't made any super embarrassing noise.

hey

Hi

how's it going

Good

good

Good

good

Cady giggles, and she sees Janis do the same out of the corner of her eye. How long has it been since she's seen that? Since she's seen her smile? Even seen her face?

I'm so sorry, Janis
About everything
I should never have sat with them
I'm so sorry I lied to you about the book and I'm sorry I had that stupid party

why did you take the blame for the book?
i know you didn't have anything to do with it

I don't know
I just
I wanted you to know I was trying to make things right I guess
You wouldn't let me apologize I wanted to do something. And everybody else in it too. None of them deserved to see that. I was shady to them too. I just wanted to do something
I don't know

i'm sorry about that too
i should've at least let you explain

No Janis it isn't your fault
I understand why you didn't
I hurt you I didn't have any right to try to defend myself

yes you did
everyone does
and i'm sorry i manipulated you into everything too i shouldn't have done that
you didn't deserve to be dragged into my old shit with regina

You were hurt Jay
We both made some poor choices

you can say that again

Cady smiles at her phone.

I've really missed you

i missed you too

Can we just forget all this and start over?
I'm so tired of all the drama
I just miss you and I miss Damian

me too
i'm sure we can figure something out

Cady chuckles and clicks her phone off, turning in her seat to face Janis. Janis does the same with a small smile.

Cady holds out a hand. Janis laughs and shakes it as she catches on.

"Hi, I'm Janis. Nice to meet you," she says. Cady grins.

"Hi Janis, I'm Cady. Nice to meet you too," she replies.

Janis frowns and repeats one of the signs Cady did with a confused look on her face. Cady smiles and repeats it. She holds up one hand, and uses the pinky of the other to trace the letter J over it. She points to Janis and mouths, "You."

Janis blinks. "You gave me a sign name?"

Cady nods. "It's the sign for 'art' with your initial."

Janis smiles impossibly wide and tackles Cady in a hug. Cady laughs and squeezes her back in relief. It's so nice to have her in her arms again. To be held close to her. Feel her breathe, feel her smile against her shoulder. It's all she ever wanted.

"I love you," Cady signs as soon as Janis pulls back enough to see.

"I love you too," Janis responds. Cady can tell by her facial expression that she doesn't get it.

"No, like..." Cady trails off. Fuck it. She gently grasps Janis' face in between her hands and pulls her lips to hers. She feels Janis gasp and screws her eyes shut so she can't see her response. Janis stays frozen for a long time.

She doesn't feel the same.

Cady's about to pull back, apologize, climb out of the truck and run off into the night.

But Janis slides a hand behind her head. Gently curls her fingers into the hair at the nape of Cady's neck. Pulls her closer. Pulls her back. Back to her.

Where she belongs.

Cady smiles a little against her lips, and feels Janis do the same. Janis hauls Cady across the center console and into her lap. Cady giggles and straddles across her hips, breaking as briefly as she can before she leans back in.

"Let's go to the dance," Janis says when they regrettably break to breathe.

Cady laughs again. "I'm banned."

"Fuck it," Janis shrugs. "I wanna dance with you."

"Okay," Cady says with a shrug and a smile. "Sure."

Janis kisses her one more time and leans after her as Cady slides back into her seat to keep their lips pressed together. Cady returns it happily and holds Janis' hand throughout the drive.

———

Sure enough, nobody notices or says anything as they slip into the gym. Janis grimaces, but she smiles a little when Cady looks at her in concern. "Hate this song."

Cady nods in understanding. "I like it. I can hear it."

Janis looks at her with a confused grin. "You can?"

Cady shakes a hand in an "eh" sort of gesture. "Feel it. The bass."

Janis smiles. "Then I love it."

Cady rolls her eyes and leans in for another kiss. Janis hesitates for the briefest of seconds before she sinks into it. She slips a hand against Cady's jaw and pulls her closer. Cady feels herself hum contently and lean as close as she can into her girlfriend.

Janis pulls back abruptly and smiles at her. Cady is confused when she pushes her towards the stage. "Go! You just won queen!"

Cady blinks and stumbles up towards the stage. Everyone claps for her as she looks out over the sea of her classmates. Someone rests a crown on her head, and she shakily reaches up to feel it.

She's in front of a microphone. She's supposed to thank everyone who voted for her.

But she can't speak.

She looks all the way to the back, to where Janis is. They started over.

Why can't she start over with everyone?

Cady pulls out her phone and holds it high over her head. Everyone looks around in confusion before they do the same. Cady stands on her tippy toes to get as many people as she can and takes a picture.

She's never typed so fast as she adds a caption.

Okay. I think everybody voted for me because there was a rumor that I pushed someone in front of a bus? Which is terrible. But what's even worse is how I've treated my friends. Janis, I lied to you and I left you out, and I'm sorry. I'm glad we're not friends anymore (we're dating now! Don't worry!) and I'll always treat you with dignity.

And to everyone who got hurt by the Burn Book, and everything else, I'm sorry for that, too. When I moved here, I wanted everyone to like me so bad, I kind of lost myself in the process. We all do that, I think. We think we have to change ourselves to be good enough, but this is what I see looking at you guys from up here. You're awesome :)

She hits post and waits for the slow school WiFi to spread it to everyone else. Slowly, smiles spread across everyone's faces as they see the picture and read Cady's message. It may not have quite as much oomph as if she had been able to really put the meaning behind it or speak the words out loud, but she's still happy. She's proud.

She takes the crown off her head and looks at it. She's not the only one who deserves a crown. A week ago she'd say she didn't deserve one at all.

She snaps the crown in half. She can see the crowd gasp.

She breaks it into as many pieces as she can and tosses them around. She gives a piece to Gretchen, to Karen, to Regina. Throws some into the crowd.

She walks up to Damian and hands him one. He smiles and wraps her in a tight, familiar, comforting hug, and she knows immediately she's been forgiven.

The last piece is for Janis.

"Good speech, Cady," she says. Cady grins and spreads the little band piece across her head. Janis reaches up to feel it with a precious little smile.

"Thank you. You deserve it more," Cady replies.

Janis shakes her head. "We'll share."

She breaks her piece in half, leaving Cady with one little fractal of her tiara. Cady grins at it, then at Janis.

And as she sees herself reflected in that shitty piece of silver plastic, she really sees her. The real her, the one that's been hidden for so long.

And she smiles.