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This is all just a big misunderstanding, Edwin is certain of it. If she just listened for a moment surely even this insolent –
“Nuh-uh, no way. For the last time, I am not getting into that thing.” Crystal steps back from where Charles is still crouched on the floor of their office, holding open his back-of-tricks.
“I assure you, it is perfectly safe.”
“No way!”
Edwin places his palms together, fighting very hard to keep his voice level.
“Crystal. You are the one who is insisting we go to help that living girl in the first place. It is going to take days if we travel there by the ways of the living, days she might not have. And since you don’t appear to have a pass port…”
“Well, I’m not gonna be able to help Becky when I’m dead!” She looks at Charles. “No offence.” He shrugs.
“You are not going to die,” Edwin insists.
“Oh yeah and how exactly do you know that? Ever stuffed anything alive in there?”
“I did actually, in the early aughts,” Charles pipes up.
“Quite. And all the chickens emerged perfectly sound.”
“Chickens? You put a flock of chickens in your backpack?”
Charles pulls up his shoulders again. “Just the six. But we put them in a box so it wasn’t like they were fluttering around or anything.”
“And they all lived long, fulfilled lives after?”
“Yeah! I mean, until that alb got them, but that was an accident.”
“An accident,” Crystal deadpans.
"Not our fault, was it? That thing came out of nowhere.
“The point of the matter,” Edwin presses out, "is that they went into the bag alive and healthy and emerged just the same. The rest is irrelevant.”
“I really think you’re gonna be okay, Crystal. I’ve kept lit fireworks in here and they were fine!”
“Oh you think I’m gonna be okay? In your bag full of active explosives?”
“Oi, it’s not like there are any in there now! That was a spontaneous short term thing!”
“Did you mirror travel with them?” Neither responds. Crystal huffs. “And the chickens?”
“Well. No,” Edwin finally admits.
“Ended up scaling those bloody flood lights all by myself didn’t I.”
Crystal crosses her arms. “No deal.”
“For crying out loud, woman, just get in the bag!”
“Like fuck I will!”
“I don’t think she’s going to go in the bag, mate.”
“I’m not going in the bag.”
“Fine then, have it your way.” Edwin throws up his hands, turning on his heels and storming past Charles. “You did this to us!”