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“I just got the go-ahead,” James crowed as he slammed the door and flopped down onto his bed. Remus was the only one in the room, having taken advantage of the empty dorm to get some revising done, and he glanced up over his Physics book to look at his mate.
“For?”
“The musical,” James said, waggling his brows.
Remus nearly groaned, but held back because he knew James was excited about his little secret project. He’d been on about it for weeks, giving no one a single detail except that it was going to revolutionise the performances of the past.
Remus always found it hilarious how much James was into musical theatre, especially as he was also the captain of the Rugby team and those two usually didn’t go hand-in-hand. But James was also not the usual type of bloke either. He was taking five A-levels, planning to go into architecture to work for his father’s firm after University, and he was incredibly studious.
Remus had known him now for nearly seven years, rooming with him the entire time. James had come from an incredibly rich, very posh background—or so Remus had assumed. He showed up with designer clothes and the accent which could only come from a life of nannies and governesses. Remus assumed James would have been rather snobby as Remus was on scholarship, but instead James immediately took to being a best mate.
It was then Remus learnt that James had come from an all-Deaf family. His parents left India early on in their marriage, and used a good portion of their successful business to open up a Deaf school. They had attempted to have children for years, and just when his mum thought there was no chance of them having a child, James had come along.
“They were a bit disappointed I was hearing,” James said with a shrug after Remus learnt about James’ background. “But they love me anyway.”
It was true. James was a bit spoilt and fawned over, but it rarely went to his head. At least not anymore that he’d grown up and started focusing on being a decent person. He was proudly bisexual, currently single after a disastrous relationship with Lily Evans which ended with her confessing her feelings for her best friend Marlene—whom she was now currently dating.
But James had taken it upon himself this last year to put on some farewell musical that was to rival all that had come before it. Remus had glimpsed some of James’ notes and saw he wanted to put on Wicked, but when he tried to bring it up, James merely said, “Details, my friend. But not until I’ve everything sorted.”
“Alright well…are you going to give me the inside info now, or am I still to guess?”
James grinned wolfishly as he rolled onto his stomach. “My darling Moony, the thing is, I do need your help.”
Remus quirked a brow and sighed. “How? I mean obviously the entire orchestra is going to play so…”
“Ah not what I had in mind. Mostly because I know you can sing.”
Remus felt his face go hot. “Oh no. No. I am absolutely not singing on stage, James.”
It was true, Remus could sing, but his stage-fright was paralysing and it was by the grace of the orchestra pit where he could blend that he’d been able to get through all seven years.
“You need to do this, Moons. For me,” James begged, waggling his brows.
Remus groaned. “No.”
“I will literally give you anything you want. I will…I’ll sell you my parents. My house. My first born.”
Remus narrowed his eyes and ruffled his curls. “A million quid.” As James furrowed his brow thoughtfully, actually wondering if he could get away with it, Remus threw his pillow over and hit him upside the head. “You’re not going to pay me a million quid to sing in a musical.”
“It’s only, I think you’d be perfect for the dual Fiyero part.”
Remus lifted a brow. “Dual Fiyero?”
James’ grin widened to the point Remus worried his face might split. “I’ve convinced Dumbledore to work with my parents’ school.”
Remus blinked, then blinked again. “Your parents’ school.”
“Yes! I thought what better way to send off the year than have a combined musical of singing and sign.” James turned to his knees, looking rather absurd as he was very tall and broad, so bouncing like a hyper puppy was not very becoming. He grabbed the poster of his bed and leant toward Remus. “You remember those videos we watched? Of the sign musicals?”
Remus nodded, recalling the productions Fleamont had financed for the school. “Yes…but I don’t see…”
“Well my idea is that we’ll have several parts, half signing and half singing. So we’ll have Deaf Fiyero and you’ll be stood on the side singing where no one can see you.”
Remus blinked again. “I…so…no stage?”
“No stage,” James declared happily. “Honestly I know the perfect person for the role, too.”
“Not Sirius,” Remus said, but by James’ smile he knew who it would be. Sirius Black and his brother Regulus were wards of the Potters. They’d come from an equally posh, incredibly well-known and wealthy family. Both of the Blacks were Deaf—from what Remus could remember of the story. All he knew was that Sirius was a holy terror, a reputation to rival even James’, and often they exchanged texts with prank ideas which had ultimately landed Remus in more detentions than he wanted on his record. Not to say they weren’t brilliant, but his recklessness was a bit terrifying.
Remus had seen a few photos of Sirius, but had never got the chance to meet him as he lived in Wales and rarely made it down to London.
“That’s going to take ages to rehearse, you know,” Remus pointed out. “Aren’t half the students sitting for their exams this year? How do you expect to get them all to Scotland?”
“Arranged it. They’re going to sit their exams here since they’re all basically the same. They’ll have some teachers come along for their own lectures. And I get to direct.”
“So you’re not even going to be in the damned musical?” Remus demanded.
James shrugged. “It’s my vision, Moony. Don’t break my heart.”
Remus sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples. “I…whatever. It’s not like I can say no, can I?”
“Nope,” James said happily, rushing off his bed to give Remus a loud, smacking kiss right on the mouth. “Dumbledore’s already approved it. Get rest and look sharp. Auditions begin on Monday!”
***
The school was abuzz with the new arrivals. Albus made an announcement over Saturday’s breakfast—which half the school missed, but the news spread like a wildfire, and before long James—and by proxy Remus, Peter, Lily, and Marlene—were bombarded with questions about signing and Deaf culture, and who would be allowed to audition for the musical.
James set up his team, Marlene, Mary, and Peter working on set and casting, and Remus promised to help out with auditions.
“I’ve my heart set on Glinda,” Lily told James as she looked over the list of people who had signed up to try out. “I hope there’s going to be a little nepotism here.”
“For what?” James asked, stuffing a massive bit of chocolate into his mouth.
Remus rolled his eyes as he tapped a few keys of the piano to make sure it was still tuned after having it moved several feet across the stage.
“Well for turning me lesbian with your poor dating skills.”
“Oh God,” Marlene called out. “You’ve been perving over me since you were fourteen, Evans.”
“D’you mind,” Lily cried, throwing up a V. “I’m trying to get a part here.”
James snickered. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Lils.”
Lily grinned. “Excellent.”
Marlene hopped down off a large block of wood would eventually be part of the set, and leant against it. “So, we finally get to meet the infamous Sirius?”
“Yes, and don’t even think of trying to chat him up. He’s very gay and not interested in lesbians.”
“You sound like a jealous boyfriend, Potter,” Marlene chastised.
When James blushed, Remus’ eyes widened. “Woah, are you two…?”
“No,” James said in a rush. “Not me and Sirius.”
Remus read his tone, then grabbed James’ shirt and tugged him over. “Regulus?”
James shrugged. “We... I… like him.”
“How much younger is he?”
“Just a year,” James defended. “And we’re taking things slow. So it’s not you know…weird.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Everything about you is weird.” But it was spoken fondly and he shoved James away. “I’m sorted here, so if you want to start calling people in, that would be great.”
James nodded, and before long, the auditions began.
***
It didn’t take long for them to fill out the cast. Lily had no trouble getting the role of Glinda, as her high soprano was not outmatched by anyone. People were cross that Fiyero wasn’t even on the list, but Frank made understudy which Remus was well pleased about considering that even if he wasn’t on the stage itself, he could be subjected to his all-consuming fear.
Sunday night left James, Remus, and Peter sat in the common room having some sandwiches and popcorn James had nicked from the kitchens. The telly was on in the corner, but the volume was down and it was Frank’s old Star Trek dvd playing which no one was paying any attention to.
“So,” Peter said, “are the other kids from the erm…other school sorted? Like with their parts and stuff?”
“Yes,” James said. “I got emailed a view videos to watch to make sure but…”
“Which part has Sirius got?”
James shrugged. “Fiyero. Which means that you, my darling Moony, have to work with him a lot. The biggest challenge will be coordinating the signing parts with the singing so they’re in sync.”
Remus lifted a brow. “How many signing parts and how many singing?”
“Elphaba and Fiyero are signing, Glinda and the wizard are singing. Boq is singing, Dillamond signing, Nessarose is signing—that one’s going to be Regulus.”
Remus rose a brow. “Oh yeah?”
James nodded. “I saw his video. He was sodding brilliant.”
“And not at all nepotism.”
James huffed. “Not at all. Trust me, you’ll see.”
“So what’s left? Morrible and Chistery?”
“Signing and singing respectively. The chorus is going to be a carefully orchestrated combination of the two which I think is going to look fantastic.”
Remus couldn’t help but feel some of James’ enthusiasm over the project because it was, actually, quite brilliant. He knew how passionate James was about Deaf culture, about trying to erase the stigma surrounding the Deaf community, and crushing the idea that Deaf was disabled. He loved his language, often breaking into sign at random moments, so much so that Remus had learnt a great deal over the years of knowing him. Even enough to have the occasional, short conversation with Mr and Mrs Potter when they paid James visits for his matches.
“Here, look. Here’s Reg and Sirius in costume,” James said, thrusting his mobile at Remus.
Remus glanced down and his eyes widened, impressed with how gorgeous the brothers actually were, and wondering what it would be like to finally meet them.
***
The students arrived with a flourish. There were only about fifteen, all of them in either lower or upper sixth, and they were brought through the corridors and into one of the unused wings of the castle. Remus watched from the top of a staircase, sat with his knees to his chest and eating a bit of chocolate, as James greeted everyone.
He was the enthusiastic, unofficial interpreter, meaning he got to skive off most of his lectures for the day and give guided tours.
Remus spotted the Black siblings almost immediately. They hung back from the main crowd, giving James nearly identical smirks as James gave his boisterous greeting. Sirius was the shorter of the pair, thinner with long hair in a plait down his back. The pair were in matching kits, the school colours a sort of silver and green ensemble, but Remus could easily picture him in his ripped jeans and leather jacket he had on in most of James’ photos.
Regulus had eyes for only James, Remus also noticed. His jaw was sharper, his mouth a bit more in a firm line as he kept his eyes glued to James’ hands. A few times his tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip, and Remus almost laughed at how thirsty this poor sod was for the excited Potter.
Remus couldn’t blame him. There had been an albeit very short—period of time when Remus also fancied Potter. It was hard not to. He was the sort who just seemed happy to be alive, and even for the most stoic of people, it was infectious. But it wore thin when you had to live with him seven years, and Remus’ feelings had flittered out as quickly as they began.
A few drunken snogs not withstanding, but they were far too pragmatic to mention them anymore.
As the group began to pass through the corridor, the siblings paused, and Sirius’ eyes drifted up to the top of the stairs, locking onto Remus. There was recognition in those grey eyes, and it took Remus a second to realise that James had probably told Sirius all about him. Sirius raised his hand in greeting, and Remus did the same.
Sirius’ mouth curved into the softest smirk, and Remus was surprised by the hot flutters rushing from his gut, through all of his limbs, making his fingers and toes tingle.
What the hell?
He really couldn’t begin to wonder.
He watched as Regulus signed something, low and close to his body, and Sirius snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes and elbowing his brother before responding with something else. Remus wished he could understand it better, but since he couldn’t, he comforted himself with watching those long, elegant fingers.
***
Remus knew he shouldn’t be surprised when he walked into their dormitory to find that Frank and Peter had been displaced into another, and the Blacks’ cases were piled on the edges of the now-empty beds. He shouldn’t. Because it was James and this was James’ best mate and the object of his unending fancy, but he still made a noise like he’d taken a football to the gut when Sirius turned his head and smirked at him again, a slight crinkle at the edges of his grey eyes.
Remus swallowed, and hoped the heat blooming on his face wasn’t as obvious as it felt. He shucked his blazer, banging it down on their study desk, and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to the elbow.
James was lounging back on what was now Regulus’ bed, one leg crooked up, smiling happily at Remus like he was absolutely in his element.
“Oy, Moony,” he said, and signed for the benefit of the siblings. “Good revising?”
Remus licked his lips, then shrugged and didn’t bother with another sort of response. In all honesty, he was trying to ignore the swarm of bees in his gut at the very sight of Sirius’ attention on him. He didn’t even know the teen and here he was wanting to just pounce across the room and put his mouth on Sirius’ mouth.
After a bit, James sat up and waved his hand at both siblings before signing something, then he turned to Remus. “Kitchen raid. Reg is coming along. Requests?”
Remus shook his head, then stopped. “Tea.” He reached over onto his nightstand and banged James his plastic take-away cup. “Jasmine.”
James gave him a mock-salute before tangling his fingers with Regulus’, and yanking him out of the room. Remus was fine for a second, until he realised Sirius wasn’t following. Instead he was stood by Peter’s empty bed, fiddling with the hearing aids in his ears. He pulled them out eventually, holding them in his palm, and Remus noticed they were very sparkly and covered in what looked like small stickers and tiny jewels.
Sirius noticed Remus staring and smiled, and Remus flushed. ‘Pretty,’ he signed, hoping he’d got that one right.
Sirius’ grin widened as he pinched them between his fingers, then turned away. Remus felt his stomach sink, and he started fiddling with a book until his bed dipped and he glanced up, seeing Sirius crawling onto the top of the duvet with a tablet tucked under his arm.
Remus’ eyes were wide, wondering what this kid was doing—and unsurprised he had no sense of personal boundaries as he was James’ brother so that just made sense. He let out a surprised noise, however, when Sirius shoved him against the headboard, then settled himself down with his knees crooked up and the tablet perched on them, and a stylus between his fingers.
He opened up a plain, white screen and began to scribble. Jamie said you sign some, but I thought this might be easier? Until you’re more comfortable?
He passed the stylus to Remus who was trying to quell the spinning in his gut at the smell of Sirius—god he smelt nice—and the close proximity of the teen who was pressed up hard against his side. He took the stylus and scribbled beneath Sirius.
Yeah this is good. Er. Thanks. Sorry I’m a little awkward.
Sirius let out a huffing laugh and nudged Remus lightly with his elbow. You’re not awkward. And it’s weird, but I feel like I know you already. James will not shut up about you. I see what he meant though.
Remus’ eyebrows shot up. What he meant?
He used to fancy you? Didn’t he tell you? James always woos his crushes. Tell me he tortured you as much as he tortured poor Evans and me and now Reg. Though I guess Reg actually likes it.
Remus choked a little. Ah. No he never…I had no idea. I guess he spared me? And well…at least someone finally appreciates his particular brand of erm…affection?
Sirius laughed loud this time, the sound rather pleasant and deep, and he leant his head on Remus’ shoulder for a moment as he wrote back. I love the stupid sod. I reckon if Reg is going to fall in love with anyone, I’m glad it’s him.
Not like Remus could argue that. Anyone who fell in love with James Potter would be profoundly lucky. But Remus was feeling something else now. The stirrings of something new and wonderful, and potentially terrifying because Sirius Black was on a whole other level. He was criminally good looking, and very posh and oddly sweet, and Remus couldn’t even fathom him actually being remotely interested.
Only there he was leant against Remus’ side and scribbling away into the evening.
When an hour went by and there was no return of James, or Remus’ tea, he sighed and sat up. ‘I get tea? You want?’
Sirius shrugged, then nodded. ‘Milk. No sugar.’
Remus nodded his understanding, and extracted himself from the bed and the warm press of Sirius against his side. Heading out the door, he made his way out of Gryffindor tower and down the corridor toward the kitchens. It wasn’t until he heard a faint moan he realised what might be going on, and as he turned the corner, he stumbled into James snogging Reg against the wall.
“Oh Christ, Jamie,” Remus muttered.
James turned, grinning and unashamed. Regulus was blushing a little bit, but looking rather unrepentant. He had a face a bit colder than Sirius’ was. A hint of sarcasm round his smirk, and it was strange seeing as James was just so full of cheer all the time, but Remus reckoned they worked somehow.
“We wanted tea,” Remus said, then signed it for Reg.
James waved him off. “We got distracted.”
Rolling his eyes, Remus crept to the kitchens and helped himself to a couple of paper take-away cups. He fixed Sirius’ as requested, then got his and snagged a tin of chocolate biscuits from the not-quite-clever hiding place, and hurried back. When he passed the corridor, James and Reg weren’t there, but they weren’t in the dorm either.
He shared the pilfered late-night snack with his new dormmate, and in spite of the communication barrier, felt very comfortable.
***
With Monday morning came lectures and a hysterical James Potter who had gone from cheerful mate to intense director. He threw everyone into rehearsals, signing and shouting instructions. He was intense, his eyes narrow behind his glasses as he put them through scene after scene after scene.
Remus, for his part, was glad to be off the stage and out of the spotlight, and only had to endure Potter’s wrath when his tempo didn’t match up to Sirius’ signing. But he did alright at the very least, and rather enjoyed watching how expressive Sirius and the girl called Dorcas—who was playing Elphaba—worked together. It was clear the Deaf students had a lot more practise on the routine than the Hogwarts students did, but even after a single day of rehearsal, Remus could see it coming together.
It was like that for much of the week, and the next.
James would wander off with Regulus after dinner, and Remus would find himself revising or chatting away to Sirius. His signing was getting incredible, to his surprise. He even had a few conversations with some of Sirius’ mates, and by the end of the third week, Remus found himself able to understand what Sirius was signing on stage even when Remus wasn’t verbalising the lines.
By the fourth week they were ready for their dress rehearsals, which was starting to stress Remus out. The idea that the show was going to go on soon, meaning that he’d be in front of an audience—or well sort of—started to cause mini panic-attacks which sent him clutching the sinks in the bathroom and using every technique he had to quell the anxiety.
Three nights before their show, Remus found himself unable to sleep. He was tossing and turning, feeling rather ill and eventually crept out of his bed. His feet propelled him to the music room where he took his now-neglected cello out.
After tuning it, he adjusted himself in the chair, stiff-backed which was more comfortable than any slouch, and drew his bow across the strings. He went up and down the scales, letting his fingers warm up and his body ease into the music.
He needed something hard and complicated. Almost mean, something to take his mind off it.
Paganini 24th Caprice.
He’d been working on it for years and he fucked it up more often than not, but he threw himself into it anyway. His bow ripped across the strings, his fingers flying up and down, pressing hard, aching as they slid across notes. His body swayed with it, eyes closed, feeling the notes coursing through his limbs, pouring out of his fingers.
He could feel every time he made a mistake but there was no one round to hear it or care, and he went on and on until suddenly, something moved. He stopped playing, the silence abrupt, and he opened his eyes to see Sirius leant on one of the chairs, watching with narrow eyes and a slight smirk.
‘Don’t stop. A lot beautiful,’ he signed.
Remus licked his lips and swallowed thickly. With the bow in his hands and cello leant against his thigh, sign was near impossible. So instead of answering, he went ahead and drew his bow across the strings again. This time he went into something slower, easier. Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. Something he’d been playing for years now.
He didn’t take his eyes off Sirius who crept closer. Then closer. Then down to his knees where he shifted forward and pressed his hand against the cello. His eyes closed after that, and his body rocked back and forth in time with Remus, in time with the vibrating notes.
Remus felt his throat tighten and he played harder, louder, trying to give everything to Sirius.
When it was over, Sirius’ eyes opened and there was no longer a smirk. No, there was a smile sunny and warm and so soft.
The bow clattered to the floor and Remus didn’t notice. Not when Sirius was pressing up high onto his knees and reaching out with a hand to cup Remus’ cheek. His eyes implored him, ‘is this alright?’
Remus gave the barest nod before the cello was pushed to the side slightly and Sirius’ lips met his in the softest kiss. Remus felt a groan in the back of his throat, and he felt Sirius laugh a little as his hand moved from Remus’ cheek to the back of his neck, holding him tighter.
When it was over, both were panting, flushed, forehead to forehead.
Sirius let out a slow, satisfied hum, licking his lips before he pulled away and gave Remus’ cheek a light pat.
Laughing, Remus caught Sirius’ hand and pressed a kiss to his palm, and Sirius let out a choked noise before easing Remus and himself up. He didn’t let go, making the job of putting the cello away a bit harder than usual, but Remus didn’t mind.
Hand-in-hand, they crept back to the dorm and slipped inside. Remus was yet again unsurprised—yet oddly surprised—to find Regulus and James curled up round each other. Regulus had his hand curled in the front of James’ pyjamas, his head pillowed on his chest just under his neck. Both were breathing in sync, quiet and almost perfect.
Remus couldn’t help glancing over at Sirius who was still smiling and beckoning Remus to the bed.
They curled up under the duvet and a soft kiss was pressed to the side of Remus’ neck.
Never had he felt so content.
***
The next three days were rehearsals and snogging. It took the edge off, and it was hours before the show when everything culminated for the pair of them.
Remus was hiding backstage, pacing, muttering to himself, when a warm hand fell on his shoulder. He turned, and couldn’t help his smile at the sight of Sirius.
‘Alright?’
Remus attempted to nod, he really did, but his head ended up moving back and forth. ‘Nervous. STAGE FRIGHT,’ he spelt.
Sirius cupped Remus’ cheek, rubbing his thumb along Remus’ soft dimple. ‘Kiss?’
Remus laughed, then tugged Sirius close, pressing their mouths together. When he pulled away, Remus ran his fingers into his curls and shrugged, feeling helpless. ‘You made for sage. Me not. Me bad.’
‘Sing,’ Sirius demanded, his fingers sharp.
Remus’ eyes widened. ‘Now?’
Sirius nodded. ‘For me. Sing.’ He then lifted both hands, one pressed to the side of Remus’ neck, the other splayed out along the top of his chest.
Remus closed his eyes and conjured up Fiyero’s first song. “Dancing through life, skimming the surface…Gliding where turf is smooth…”
Sirius laughed and pulled away, signing in time with Remus’ song, doing a shorter moves of the dancing he’d be doing on stage later. “Life is more painless…for the brainless…Why think too hard, when it’s so soothing…”
They went on for a while, Remus singing louder and louder, Sirius signing wider and broader, and before long Remus was smiling and Sirius was laughing and he was turning Remus in a wide circle and dipping him low.
The sound all stopped, and their eyes met, and Sirius’ head dipped low. Lips met, crashing almost desperate, and Remus found himself both kissing and smiling and holding tight to the front of Sirius’ costume. When they broke apart, they were both a little breathless, and Sirius eased Remus back up to standing.
‘You brilliant,’ Sirius signed gently.
Remus flushed and started to shake his head, but Sirius pinched him by the chin and forced their gazes to meet and Remus felt a rushing in his gut because oh god he was falling so hard so fast. ‘I…’ His hand stilled and he licked his lips.
‘Boyfriend. You, me,’ Sirius signed.
It took Remus a moment to process before he realised exactly what Sirius was asking and Remus felt his face bloom red and he was nodding so hard. ‘Yes.’
Sirius laughed and kissed him once more.
***
For a teenage production of Wicked with a mixture of hearing and Deaf cast, directed by the hyperactive James Potter, it went off relatively well. The Potters were there, in the front looking beyond proud. Lily sang her heart out, and all the signers performed flawlessly. Remus watched Sirius’ every move as he voiced the part, and it was so in sync his head spun.
When it was over, all the actors and voicers took their places for the bow, the cheers and hand waving intense, and Remus felt Sirius grab his hand and hold so tight.
Backstage, Remus looked over and saw James holding Regulus gently by the cheeks, their lips met in the softest kiss, and he was distracted only long enough for Sirius to crowd him up against the wall behind one fold of the curtain.
Lips trailed over his lightly, feathering kisses across his mouth, cheeks, down to his neck with a dull suck and low groan. Remus held on tight, nuzzling the top of Sirius’ head until the shorter teen pulled back with a soft smile and kiss-swollen lips.
‘Moony,’ Sirius mouthed.
Remus couldn’t help himself from reaching up and drawing a thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. ‘Mine,’ Remus signed. He had looked that one up, and was rather proud of himself. Especially after seeing the way Sirius’ eyes darkened and breath quicken.
Sirius was nodding then, and he put his mouth right up against Remus’ neck as he mouthed back, ‘Yours.’