Chapter Text
-- texanTransplant [TT] began pestering aimlessRenegade [AR] --
-- aimlessRenegade [AR] is Away! --
TT: Yo, tell me when you are up.
-- aimlessRenegade [AR] is Active! --
AR: ?
TT: Hm?
TT: Oh right.
TT: Gimme a sec to remember its been a couple hours.
TT: *remember. It has
AR: Go to sleep.
TT: No. You are not my real mom.
AR: Then put your pants on and come into work on time for once in your life.
TT: Renegade, that is by far the most disgusting thing you have ever said to me. Also, possibly, the longest.
TT: Also, I have pants on, thank you. I still have not changed from yesterday on account of the fact that I am still working.
AR: ?
TT: Oh right, that is what I wanted to talk to you about.
TT: Okay, so there is an angle to the case that cannot be worked publicly. But I cannot do it on my own because at the very least I need a witness so Redglare will not gut me later, but also because you are a better cop than me.
AR: Go on.
TT: Right, but the thing is, this angle is gonna sound super fucking crazy, so I kinda need to feel you out on it before deciding you are definitely my partner on this even though I have no fucking clue who else I could get.
TT: … Also, remind me to appoint another deputy.
AR: Tell me your angle.
TT: Right.
TT: Um.
AR: ?
TT: Give me a second, it takes a lot of willpower to say something this stupid.
AR: ?
TT: Sigh.
TT: Okay.
TT: So.
TT: Um.
TT: What is your opinion on werewolves?
AR: Annoying.
AR: Less annoying than Serkets.
AR: More annoying than teenagers.
TT: I am actually surprised by how much I am not surprised that you already knew about the werewolves.
AR: I listen.
TT: Point taken.
TT: Okay, so obviously all our werewolf details need to stay off the record. We will keep that evidence in our personal accounts, and make up human excuses for the public record.
AT: ?
TT: ??
AR: Which case?
TT: Ampora/Peixes/Harley
TT: Also maybe Speakers?
AR: Start a murder board. Easiest way to catch me up.
TT: I said secret, not posted on the station wall.
AR: https://www.google.com/search?q=website+for+dumbasses+who+need+to+make+a+flowchart+online
TT: Okay, I can take a hint.
AR: I will tell the station you’re sick.
TT: Okay, that is my official reason, but hint that it is because I am still pissed at Jake.
AR: ?
TT: Bro, there is so much to catch you up on.
-- texanTransplant [TT] ceased pestering aimlessRenegade [AR] --
texanTransplant [TT] opened memo on board STRILONDES UNITE
TT: Yo, everyone at Lalonde House at 1000. Family meeting time.
TT: Anyone who is late gets to make a new ALS Challenge video.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has responded to memo --
TG: you literally just hit me and dirk with that
TT: Then you should have no problem finding motivation to wake up.
TG: im typing at you right now clearly im awake
TT: If you are not vertical, then you are not awake.
TG: urg when do you want to leave by
TT: 0940
TG: fine have you used all the hot water yet
TT: It should be recharged by now.
TG: then i call bathroom before dirk wakes up and camps out there
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has responded to memo --
TT: May I inquire as to what this meeting is about or is it a “surprise” again?
TT: I have been informed by your brothers that you already fucking know.
TT: …
TT: I’m going to get bucketed whether I’m on time or not, aren’t I?
TG: yeah probly
TG: he took most of it out on us last night but hes still kinda pissy
TT: He is also still in the memo that he opened.
TG: sorry didnt realize your pissiness was news to you
TT: Go take your fucking shower.
TG: i thought i was supposed to call mom in the morning
TT: You were.
TT: But I am still pissy.
TT: So I am making this a pain in the ass for everyone.
-- geneticMomtini [GM] has responded to memo --
GM: was gon on????
TT: The kids are in trouble.
GM: ooooooh
GM: STRIFNG TIMEZ!!! :D
TG: youre all fucking crazy
GM: well that IS how u wer made so
TG: EW
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has left the memo --
TT: Thanks for getting our precious baby to finally take his shower, Doc.
GM: n e time ;)
By the time you’ve finished your shower, the deep bruises on your arms and shoulders have faded enough to be hidden by your dark skin, and the cuts littering your skin are thin white lines. Hopefully, by the time you finish dressing, the melanin will have filled in, and you’ll have gotten through another night without freaking out Dirk and Bro.
Unfortunately, Dirk doesn’t have a concept of knocking. “Yo, Bro wants me to tell－” He cuts himself off and blinks at you owlishly as you quickly turn aside to finish pulling your pants up. There’s less cuts along your back, you think, so that should be okay. Of course the broken window at the end of your room that you haven’t stacked shit back in front of kind of gives it away. “Dafuk?”
“Look, I know I’m an unbelievably fine specimen of humanity, but you gotta stop the ogling, dude. Nature and nurture both make it all kinds of inappropriate,” you grumble.
“Did you get in a fight with a wolverine?” he demands.
Oh good, he still hasn’t noticed the window. Maybe you can lie your way out of this. “Believe it or not, I’ve been sparring with Bec. Apparently, the Harleys put him on Dave-watch to－”
“No, you haven’t,” he says. “Why are you－”
“Look, would you just－”
“What happened to your window?” he snaps. Awe, shit. Without waiting for an answer, he crosses your room. You pull on your shirt quickly as you try to think of an explanation that’s less worrying than the truth, but he’s already pulling your turntables away from the wall. “Holy shit.”
“Dude, it’s not－”
“BRO!”
“Goddammit, Dirk!”
From the main room, Bro calls back, “Unless someone is hemorrhaging, I don’t give a shit!”
“IT’S FINE!” you reply at the same time Dirk shouts, “DAVE IS!”
“AM NOT!”
“YOU WERE!”
Bro is already in the doorway. “What’s－ holy shit.” He crosses the room like he thinks something’s about to explode at him and places himself between you and the window like he legit thinks it might jump out of the wall and maul you. To be honest, with all the blood on the window sill and wall beneath, it probably looks like it’s already done that. He turns back to you and demands, “The fuck happened here?”
You look away. “Technically, I don’t really recall.”
“Technically?!” Bro snaps.
“Your alpha is still calling you out at night?” Dirk asks, but his tone makes it clear that it’s more of a conclusion than a question. He’s got his hands clasped behind him to keep from touching anything as he inspects the mostly shattered window and the bars he had recently installed outside of it. “There’s claw marks everywhere within arm’s reach, and I’m going to have to get some longer, stronger screws, because you’ve actually managed to slightly dislodge it on one side. We should try safety glass, because even if the bars keep you in, we don’t really want anyone looking up to see some crazy person flailing out the window. Also not all of this blood is recent?”
Bro turns to you again with an accusing glare, and again you look away, ashamed. You cross your arms trying to pretend you’re stubborn and not sick to your stomach. “It’s happened twice since you installed the bars,” you tell them. “Not every night. I promise. It’s okay.”
“Okay?” Bro demands. “Dave, we are a dozen stories up! Why would he even－ Are you even able－” He stops, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. Then another one. And another one. Finally, he says, “Dirk, make a shopping list. Dave, finish getting ready.” As Dirk darts out of the room, Bro surprises you by pulling out his phone and taking a picture.
“Uh, just curious,” you ask as cautiously as possible, “exactly what is that supposed to be evidence of?”
“’s not evidence,” he mumbles. “It’s leverage.” He fiddles with his phone a bit before finally putting it away again. He considers you for a moment, before deciding to actually explain himself. “Harley still ain’t answerin’ shit. Last time he said anything was to plead for Jade not to be released. So I’ve been going over ever single thing he ever did say on record, tearing it apart at the seams. And that’s how I reached my plan of attack,” he tells you. “Five years ago, Harley’s a dumb little shit, fresh out of the academy, interviewing for an officer position. I ask why he wants the job. He says he wants to help people, and I’m like ‘And?’ Because everyone says that, but usually it’s a steady paycheck, or the service weapon, or, sometimes, the ability to disproportionately influence who gets arrested, which motivates people to apply. But Harley, he’s genuine. He insists that’s what he wants. Yes, he needs a job, but he already had an offer for a teaching position at the gun range he used to clean up at. No, he wants to help people. He’s seen people hurt terribly, he tells me, and he wants to do what he can for anyone else facing that pain.”
You shake your head, not sure of the point of this speech. “So what? You’re trying to appeal to his need to help me?” you ask.
Bro shakes his head. “He already thinks he’s helping. He burned the evidence because we could have used it to prove that it wasn’t him; if he’d done it, he wouldn’t have needed to destroy evidence when he knew that he was about to confess. He thinks, somehow, that he’s protecting someone by doing this,” he says. “So I’m gonna prove him wrong. I’m gonna show him exactly who he’s hurting and exactly how much.”
“What?” Dirk demands, reentering the room. “Bro, he doesn’t deserve that.”
“I don’t care what he deserves!” Bro snaps. “Jake is not, cannot, be my priority right now while children are being murdered, maimed, and manipulated. Dave is trying to climb out a twelfth story window and bleeding all over the place in the process. Jade is being mind-raped by the queen bitch of hell city. Peixes girls are dropping like flies. Eridan Ampora is out there running from we don’t even know what yet. And yet Jake is sitting in that cell, purposefully covering it all up. I don’t care if I have to tear his soul apart, so long as I get some fucking answers.”
You have never, ever seen Bro this angry before, and it is terrifying. Dirk looks like he’s torn between arguing on principal and making a run for it before he gives Bro a reason to turn that anger toward him (such as arguing on principal). As Bro barks out orders for you two to finish up and get your asses down to the truck, you realize that you’re also relieved. For the first time in weeks, you actually feel like you can fight this. Bro would never allow for anything less.