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It doesn’t take forever. It doesn’t even take a year for Charles to figure it all out. Which, looking back on everything, Charles is a little upset with himself that it even took that long. Of course he loves Edwin, and of course he’s in love with Edwin. He just never really thought too much what the difference between loving and being in love was.
But now that he’s got it all figured out, he’s stuck. He’s not sure how to proceed. He can’t just tell Edwin that he loves him! That’s just…Edwin deserves better. While Edwin’s confession wasn’t exactly at the best time, it was still monumental, memorable. And Edwin deserved something just as good. No. He deserves something better. But Charles wasn’t sure how.
Crystal said just to tell him, “try communicating like normal people.” Which, okay maybe he should but how do you tell your best mate, your partner of 30 plus years that you had not really rejected but also said you didn’t feel the same about that you feel the same about him now. Crystal just groaned and rolled her eyes at him.
Niko suggested a super romantic date that just kept getting more complicated the more she talked. While Charles appreciated her enthusiasm, he didn’t think he could pull off a date like she was imagining. That would require a lot of planning and Charles wasn’t exactly known for his planning skills. And he wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive long enough to plan. He’d probably blurt it out before they even went on a date and ruin everything.
Jenny didn’t want anything to do with his “teen angst breakdown”. She did eventually tell him to just talk to Edwin. Or kiss him. Just not around her, she’s had enough with their “teen drama bullshit.”
And Charles refused to ask the Night Nurse her opinions.
So, Charles was stuck on how to proceed. Until one day, when an idea struck. The Dead Boy Detective Agency had closed for the night, Niko and Crystal having demanded a movie night with the boys. Which resulted in the group watching some romcom movies.
During one scene, the guy was flirting with his love interest and started using pick-up lines. With each new pick-up line, the love interest warmed up more and more to the guy until she kissed him. And Charles knew what he was going to do. He just needed a little help.
~
“No.”
“But Crystal!” Charles whines, slumping down lay across her bed. “This is important!”
“Charles, I am not going to help you look up pick-up lines to use on Edwin,” Crystal says, crossing her arms. “First off, I don’t want lame pick-up lines in my search history. I have standards.” Charles raises an eyebrow, but Crystal quickly shushes him. “Secondly, you don’t need pick-up lines. Just fucking talk to Edwin.”
“That’s what the pick-up lines are for!” Charles shouts, throwing his hands up. “I can’t just tell him I’m in love with him.”
“Why the fuck not?” Crystal asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Because…because every time I try, I look at him and my tongue gets tied and I forget how words work!”
“That’s disgustingly sweet,” Crystal groans. “But why pick-up lines? Why not, I don’t know…write down what you want to say and use that?”
“Because that’s boring,” Charles whines.
“I think it’s sweet,” Niko says from her spot next to the bed. “You could write him a love letter! And then read it to him!”
“See, Niko gets it,” Crystal points to the white-haired girl. “Be like Niko!”
“I also think the pick-up lines idea is fun,” Niko adds with a shrug. “It’s easier to remember cheesy lines than a heartfelt speech. But it’s also a good stepping stone that can lead to really romantic moments.” Niko tilts her head back to look at Charles for a moment. Then she nods her head solemnly. “I think Charles could pull it off.”
“See! Niko gets it,” Charles throws back, smirking at Crystal. Crystal sighs, rolling her eyes.
“Fine! We’ll help you find some pick-up lines,” Crystal says, throwing her hands up in the air. Niko and Charles cheer, even attempting to exchange high-fives but end up missing each other’s hands. “But!” Crystal holds out a finger, staring the two down. “I want it on record that I don’t think Mr. 1910s is going to understand any of them.”
“Oi, Edwin’s smart,” Charles counters. “I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“Edwin is intelligent,” Crystal corrects. “But I highly doubt he’s used to people dropping cringe pick-up lines on him.”
“He can be a bit oblivious,” Niko nods.
“Still have ta try, don’t I?”
“Okay, get your ghostly ass over here,” Crystal sighs, pulling up her phone and googling pick-up lines. Niko and Charles scramble over the bed, bracketing Crystal as she begins to scroll through ideas. Niko points out phrases she likes or thinks Edwin would, while Crystal would scoff at some or snort at others.
By the end of the day Charles has a list of pick-up lines and a knot of anticipation in his chest.
~
And thus, the week of pick-up lines began. Anytime Charles found a good time, he’d throw a pick-up line at Edwin usually accompanied with one of his charming smiles or a waggle of his eyebrows. Sometimes it was just the two of them in the office, or the girls were there too. He even threw some out in front of clients.
And unfortunately, Crystal was right. Edwin didn’t seem to understand any of his pick-up lines. Either Edwin took them too literally or he was just plain confused by what Charles said, as if he spoke in a one of the handful of foreign languages Edwin didn’t speak.
~
“Hey Edwin,” Charles calls from his spot on the couch. Edwin hums back, not looking up from the file he’s reading on the desk. “Have you gotten better at boxing? Cause you’re a knockout.” Edwin slowly raises his head to look at him.
“You of all people should be aware that I am not proficient in boxing, Charles,” Edwin corrects. Charles laughs nervously.
“Uh right, yeah.”
~
“Mate, would you mind giving me a pinch? You’re—OW!” Charles jumps off the desk, rubbing at his arm where Edwin had quickly pinched him.
“What? You asked for me to pinch you?” Edwin says while Crystal and Niko chuckle from the other side of the office.
~
“There must be something wrong with my eyes,” Charles begins, watching Edwin rearrange their bookshelf. Edwin’s head snaps toward him immediately, earning a smile from Charles. “I can’t seem to take them off of you.”
“Oh dear…” Edwin murmurs, eyes widening slightly. Charles’ smile grows, but then falls as Edwin quickly walks over him and grabs Charles’ face gently in-between his hands and twists it back and forth. “How long has this been affecting you? Are there any other symptoms?”
“No…I,” Charles stutters. He clears his throat, before smiling up at Edwin again. “I mean, is it hot in here? Or is it just you?” Edwin pauses, blinking down at him for a moment.
“Charles, we are ghost, we should not be able to feel temperature,” Edwin says slowly. “How long have you been feeling hot?” Edwin places the back of his hand to Charles forehead, trying to assess any differences. Charles just sighs, letting Edwin fret over him.
~
“If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one,” Charles says, nudging Edwins arm with a smile. Edwin tilts his head, blinking once at Charles with confusion on his face. “Uh, cause, you know…”
“Hm,” Edwin hums. “I always assumed I would be a right triangle, but I appreciate your insight.”
“Right, yeah….no probs,” Charles says slowly, confused as well.
~
“You know,” Charles says one night after a case. “I’d say let’s go to the movies, but they don’t let you bring your own snacks.” He winks at Edwin, while Crystal lets out a gag.
“I do not see how that matters,” Edwin states as he continues writing in his journal. “We cannot eat, therefore there is no need for snacks.”
“You’re right mate, just…wishful thinking.”
~
“If you were a song, you’d be the best track on the album,” Charles says one morning, cutting off Edwin midsentence. Edwin looks over at Charles, with a raised eyebrow. The two stare at each other for a moment before Edwin speaks.
“That is kind of you Charles, but I highly doubt that.” Edwin fiddles with his hands, looking away. “I do not believe many would appreciate hearing ‘my song’ so to speak. It would be dreadfully boring to most.”
“Nah mate,” Charles says, walking up to him. He places his hands on Edwin’s shoulders, turning his partner to look him in the eyes. “You’re far from boring. You’re like my favorite song on repeat. I could listen to you forever.”
“Oh…” Edwin inhales, eyes wide. He chuckles after a moment, smiling at Charles. “Thank you.” At that moment Crystal and Niko walk into the office, ready to begin a new day of cases.
~
“Hey Edwin,” Charles calls out. “Want to go outside and get some fresh air with me? Cause you just took my breath away.” Charles waited a moment, but Edwin didn’t respond. “Edwin?” Edwin hums. “Did you hear me?”
“Hm? What did you say Charles?” Edwin looks up, blinking slowly at his partner. Charles opens his mouth to respond but quickly closes it with a shake of his head.
“Nothing important mate,” he responds. He slowly walks closer to where Edwin is sitting. “What’s got ya so distracted?”
~
“If you and I were socks, we’d make a great pair.”
“Why would we be socks?” Edwin asks, tilting his head curiously. “And are we not already a great pair?”
“No that’s not…” Charles pauses, before shaking his head with a small laugh. “Yeah mate, course we are.”
~
“Do you have a map?” Charles asks, looking at Edwin’s side profile as he reads to Charles. Edwin looks over, an eyebrow raised. “’Cause I just got lost in your eyes.” He smiles sweetly.
“Are you alright Charles?” Edwin asks slowly, his eyes darting around Charles face looking for any signs of “off-ness”.
“Brills mate,” Charles says. “Just noting how your eyes are like the ocean.” His smile widens as he lowers his voice. “I could swim in them all day.”
“Swim in…whatever do you mean?” Edwin tilts his head. Charles takes in a deep breath and slumps back against the arm rest of the couch, a little defeated.
“Forget it mate,” he says softly.
~
“Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
“While I do know how to wield magic, I would hardly call myself a magician Charles,” Edwin states, clearly offended by the term. “If you must call me a magical title, I would much prefer mage.” Charles snorts but nods.
“Right course, sorry mate.” Charles pauses a moment before leaning closer to Edwin with a mischievous smile on his face. “You are pretty magical. Sure, you didn’t cast a spell on me?”
“Charles! I would never,” Edwin shouts, placing a hand over his heart. “Are you quite alright? Did you get hit with something on the last case?” Crystal snorts, muttering something about “him being hit with something alright”. Niko giggles and whispers something about “cupid”.
“Nah mate, I’m aces,” Charles says quickly, hoping to cover up anything else the girls may say. Edwin watches his closely for a moment before nodding once. He then returns to his research but continues to sneak worried glances at Charles the rest of the day.
~
“Mate, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print,” Charles says as he nudges Edwin’s shoulders. Edwin lifts an eyebrow.
“Because I am hard to read?” Edwin offers. Crystal full body laughs while Charles sputters, trying to think of a response. Niko giggles but send him an encouraging thumbs up.
~
“I must be in the wrong museum,” Charles says during their walk through The British Museum while they search for a missing item for a case.
“Charles, whatever makes you say that?” Edwin asks, straightening from where he was leaning over to examine the display in front of him.
“Cause you’re the only true work of art I see,” Charles shoots back, firing finger guns at Edwin as well. Edwin just stares back, looking at Charles’ fingers to his face a handful of times.
“I do not follow,” Edwin finally says. Charles sighs, lowering his hands but still sending a small smile to Edwin.
“Nevermind mate, let’s find that kit yeah?”
~
“You sure you’re not lost, love?” Charles askes, watching Edwin as he examines a new pathway in a forest. “’Cause you’ve been wandering around my mind all night.” Edwin scoffs, looking over his shoulder at Charles.
“I am not lost,” Edwin states sharply. “I know how to get out of here.”
“Course, course,” Charles says, putting his hands up in the air. He watches Edwin examine more paths before he nods and points his torch down one way.
“This way,” Edwin state, turning to walk down the path.
“Course,” Charles nods. He pauses, looking at the light in Edwin’s hand for a moment. “You know, you’re like my own lantern. Cause you guide me in the darkest of times.” Edwin rolls his eyes, but Charles picks up a hint of smile on Edwin’s face. “Your hand looks heavy, can I hold it for you?”
“How kind of you Charles,” Edwin states, handing over the torch to Charles to hold, freeing up Edwin’s hands. Charles opens his mouth to make a comment but stops with a shake of his head.
~
“I just wanted to say thanks for the gift,” Charles says from his spot on the corner of the desk. Edwin looks curiously up at him. Before Edwin can say anything Charles continues. “I’ve been wearing this smile ever since you gave it to me.”
“Oh,” Edwin breaths out. It takes him a moment, before his face softens with a smile of his own. “I should thank you then for your gift in return. How remarkable we’ve gifted each other the same thing.” Charles’ jaw drops for a moment before he stutters out a response.
“Yeah…yeah it’s…brills.”
~
“Ugh this place is creepy,” Crystal complains, batting away a spider web from her face. Niko nods, brushing away more webs as she clutches Crystal’s sleeve.
“I suppose it is a bit eerie,” Edwin acknowledges from across the room.
“Well, I think that smile of yours is eerie-sistable,” Charles throws out, sending a wink to Edwin. Crystal groans, saying something about “disaster bis” while Niko giggles. Edwin looks curiously over at Charles, a very judgmental eyebrow raised. “You know…’cause you said it’s eerie…and it sounds like the ‘irre’ in irresistible?”
“No, I understood the play on words,” Edwin says, eyebrow still raised judgmentally. “I just do not understand what prompted such a response.” Charles chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Just trying to lighten the room, yeah,” Charles offers. “Kinda like your smile does?” Charles trails off at the end, shooting a nervous smile to his partner.
“I do not think my smile is all that luminous, but if you require more light I’m sure we can find a torch somewhere,” Edwin pointedly looks over at the girls who both have their phones’ lights. Crystal sticks her tongue out which leads to the two bickering. As the two bicker, Niko pats Charles on the shoulder.
~
“Call me dead,” Charles starts. “Because my heart stopped the second you walked into the room.”
“Do be serious Charles,” Edwin says with a roll of his eyes. “You have been dead for near 35 years. It would be more shocking if your heart started again.”
~
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
“I suppose it depends on your definition of dinosaurs,” Edwin states, eyes still down on his notebook. “Some believe there are still dinosaurs hidden amongst the world. Based on some magical studies...” And with that Edwin starts on a lecture about dinosaurs and the potential of them still existing due to magical means. Charles shots a glance at Crystal who simply raises an eyebrow back.
~
“Why is it always old houses? Why can’t any of our cases lead us to modern well-kept houses?” Crystal says knocking on the broken wall in front of her. “Or, I don’t know, a mall?”
“Classic ghost house,” Niko responds with a shrug.
“It is not always ‘old houses’,” Edwin corrects. “You know for certain that we have had to explore libraries, movie theaters, and even the odd boutique. It just so happens that many ghosts choose to haunt either the place of their death or a place of comfort. And many find comfort in their old homes.”
“Right, yeah, course,” Crystal says rolling her eyes. “Silly me.”
“But you guys don’t haunt houses?” Niko says, tilting her head.
“I don’t need to haunt houses, not when I have Edwin to haunt my heart,” Charles answers, nudging Edwin’s shoulder.
“Precisely Charles,” Edwin nods. Charles straightens up, surprised by Edwin’s response. “We are not bound to one particular, more like we are bound to each other. Thought not all ghosts are bound, in fact most aren’t.” Charles’ shoulders slump.
~
“Do you know what my shirt is made of?” Charles says as he leans against the desk in the office. He tugs at the bright red polo, before smirking at Edwin and saying, “Boyfriend material.”
“Charles,” Edwin says slowly. “Your shirt is an extension of yourself. It is not truly ‘made up’ of anything physical. Let alone this new material you call ‘boyfriend material’.” Charles opens his mouth to respond but is quickly cut off by Crystal.
“OH MY GOD!” Crystal shouts, throwing her hands up in the air. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Well now, that seems rather uncalled for,” Edwin sniffs, looking toward the psychic with a scathing glare.
“Edwin,” Crystal starts, ignoring the glare. Charles stands very still, a sense of dread feeling his chest. “Charles has been flirting with you non-stop for the past week. He’s just been using shitty pick-up lines cause he’s an idiot.”
“Hey!”
“He gets very distracted by your face,” Niko adds in with a nod. Charles snaps his head to look at Niko is despair. Crystal he gets, she’s hated this idea from the beginning. But Niko? She was supposed to be on his side.
“Crystal, that is ridiculous,” Edwin states, refusing to look at Charles.
“Oh yeah? You’re telling me you haven’t noticed the weird shit Charles has been saying?” Crystal challenges, leaning down on the desk to stare Edwin down now. “That ‘big brain’ of yours hasn’t thought that something strange was happening? I bet you’ve even written down a few you didn’t understand to ask about later.”
“Crystal,” Charles says lowly, wanting to stop her. Neither Crystal nor Edwin seem to pay him any mind, as they stare each other down. After a tense moment, Edwin blinks slowly before leaning back in his chair.
“Fine, I have noted Charles’…strange word choices lately.” At this Edwin looks to Charles but quickly looks away as he fidgets with his sleeves. “And I may have written a few down to ask Niko about later.”
“Oh! Share them with us!” Niko says quickly, stepping up next to Crystal now. “We can translate them for you!” Edwin looks over to Charles again, this time keeping eye contact. Charles opens his mouth for a moment before slumping his shoulders and nodding.
“Very well then,” Edwin nods. Niko cheers, moving to stand over his right shoulder to get a better look. Crystal follows her, leaning against the desk on that side. Charles remains sitting in his normal spot but keeps his head low not wanting to make eye contact with anyone.
“Charles mentioned something being wrong with his eyes and that he could not stop them from looking at me.”
“He thinks you’re hot,” Crystal responds, while Niko nods. Edwin opens his mouth, but Crystal quickly shushes him. “He was trying to say he can’t stop looking at you because you’re attractive. To him.”
“Like I said, he gets very distracted by your face,” Niko adds with another nod. Edwin blinks slowly, looking at the two girls’ faces for a moment before sneaking a glance at Charles. Charles catches his eye for a moment before Edwin quickly looks away.
Edwin clears his throat and then began listing off the other pick-up lines he had noted from Charles. With each pick-up line, either Niko or Crystal would explain what Charles had meant. And with each line Charles’ shoulders got closer and closer to his ears.
“And the line about his shirt material?” Edwin asks cautiously. Niko giggles while Crystal rolls her eyes.
“He wants to be your boyfriend, you know, because he’s made of ‘boyfriend material’,” Niko explains. Charles flinches but keeps his eyes low. He can feel Edwin’s gaze on him but refuses to look up. There are some whispers and then the office is quite for a long moment. Then he sees Edwin’s shoes enter his vision, standing right in front of them.
“Charles,” Edwin says slowly. Although he didn’t want to see Edwin’s reaction, Charles can’t ignore him fully, so he tips his head to the side to show he was listening. “I…” Edwin clears his throat. “I've heard it said that kissing is the ‘language of love.’ Would you care to have a conversation with me about it sometime?”
Charles’ head snaps up so fast, he’s thankful he’s dead otherwise that would have hurt. He stares up at Edwin, eyes wide. Edwin looks back at him, face neutral but he is grinding his fists together nervously in front of him. Charles can swear he feels heat blooming on his face and notes a pinkish hue to Edwin’s cheeks as well.
“How about now?” Charles asks, lifting himself slowly off the desk to stand face to face with Edwin. Edwin’s eyes shoot down to Charles’ lips for a moment before looking back into his eyes.
“I’d be amenable,” he says quietly. And what else was Charles supposed to do then kiss him?
Charles places his hands on Edwin’s cheeks and leans in to kiss him. Everything else around him disappears, the only thing Charles can focus on is Edwin and the feel of his lips on his. The kiss remains slow and gentle, but it fills Charles’ chest with warmth and love. He pulls back slightly, leaving barely any room between their lips. He slowly opens his eyes, finding Edwin looking back at him.
“You know,” Charles says, his voice low. He rubs his thumb softly across Edwin’s cheek. “I’m pretty bad at picking up new languages. Maybe we should practice more so I can become proficient at this one.” Edwin hums, a smile playing on his lips.
“I would say you are quite proficient,” Edwin murmurs back. “But I am not opposed to more learning.” Charles lets out a laugh before pulling Edwin back in, kissing him once more. He swears he hears a “fucking finally” from Crystal, but his focus remains on Edwin where it belongs.