Chapter Text
Eddie wished he knew. He wished he knew about the true nature of his feelings. But he didn’t. For so many years, he had unknown feelings bottled up, buried deep within him. He wished he would have just realised it earlier.
And Buck wishes he realised his feelings earlier too, even as he’s in (what, for a split second he thinks is) his last moments.
In Buck’s living room were sat Madie and Eddie. Buck wanted to have a day with his two favourite people. The only one missing was Christopher.
It was it very often Eddie and Maddie were left alone together, but Buck had left to go get some food ready, so they were sat on the couch by themselves.
Maddie was going to stay quiet. She really, truly was. But the words came out of her mouth before she could even process them.
“Alright, I’m done with all this crap.” She huffed.
“What crap?” Eddie frowned, his eyebrows creasing.
“You and Buck.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, that crap.” Maddie nodded. “I’ve stood back and watched whatever it is you two have for years. We have stood back and watched for years.” She went to keep talking but Eddie interrupted.
“We? Who is we?” Eddie raised his eyebrows.
“Uh, well, Hen, Chim, Bobby, Athena, me… you know.” Maddie explained.
“All of you? Seriously?”
“Very serious.” Maddie stated. “Anyhow, we’ve watched on for years now. And some of us are losing our minds. I, for one, am definitely losing my mind. I know there is more than friendship there. I mean, if you die, your son literally goes to him!”
“How do you know about that?” Eddie questioned.
“Um-“
“You know what? Doesn’t matter.” Eddie dismissed. “What matters is that there is absolutely nothing more than friendship there. There’s a line, and we are miles away from it.”
Maddie slyed her eyes. “Mhm, sure.”
“Seriously!” Eddie exclaimed, slightly louder than he meant to.
“Listen, Eddie, when Buck realised he was bisexual, he pushed you over on the basketball court, correct?” At Eddie’s nod, Maddie continued her interrogation. “Right. But the days, maybe even weeks, leading up that he was loathing Tommy. He was seriously obsessed. He tried getting your attention for what felt like many excruciating days, to make you realise he was better than Tommy. He ended up putting it down to being jealous of you, and I had no choice but to just agree. But I didn’t buy it. He knew the guy for two weeks, and already liked him? No. He was jealous of Tommy.”
“Should you even be exposing Buck like this?” Eddie wondered.
“Probably not.” Maddie sighed. “But I’ve given up on the two of you figuring it out yourselves. I need to say something before either of you jump into another relationship, oblivious of the other’s feelings, just hurting each other.” She paused. “Or before you leave.”
“Oh… y’know what? No. I’m straight! I’ve never been interested in a man before. Sure, maybe I can recognise they’re easy on the eyes, especially Buck, but… no. I’m straight.” Eddie argued.
“Okay, fine, you’re bucksexual. Whatever. Big deal.” Maddie rolled her eyes.
“I’m not-“
Eddie went to keep arguing when Buck walked back in the room, holding two plates.
“Why have you only got two plates? Is the one with the more food yours?” Maddie teased.
“Well, I figured I’d save myself two trips. Thought me and Eddie could share a plate, two servings on the one.” Buck turned to Eddie. “Is that alright? If not, I could always go and put my serving on another plate-“
“Yeah, no, of course that’s alright.” Eddie smiled.
Buck smiled in reply, putting a plate down infront of Maddie. As he walked around the small table, Maddie turned to Eddie, sharing a knowing look with him. Eddie just shook his head as Buck slotted in right beside him.
“So, what are we watching?”
A few days later, Buck and Maddie were at Maddie’s house.
“I’m just gonna come out and say it, alright?” Maddie broke the silence.
“Come out and say what?” Buck was clueless as always. It made Maddie chuckle quietly before continuing.
“Eddie. You like him more than a friend… don’t you?”
That question made Buck’s stomach drop. He had been questioning his feelings for a bit, but didn’t want to admit what he thought may be the truth. There’s nothing worse than catching feelings for you best friend, is there? Actually, no. There is. Having feelings for your best friend, he leaves you, doesn’t come back, and you never get to tell him.
“Uh…”
“Listen, Buck, I have the context clues. The day I met him, I said Chim was cute, and you thought I was talking about Eddie. You get pinned under a fire truck, he holds your hand the whole time. Tsunami happens when you’re with his kid, you can’t even look at him, never mind in the eye. He gets stuck in a, like, fifty foot well, you try and go after him. When a whole bunch of mud goes on the top of the hole, and you try and claw through it all. After that, he makes sure to put you in as Chirstopher’s guardian if anything happens to you. I can go on. He gets shot, you-“
“Okay, okay, I get it. You’re convinced I’m inlove with Eddie.” Buck sighed in defeat.
Maddie raised her eyebrows.
“And… you may be right.” Buck looked down at his hands, suddenly very interested in his fingernails.
“At least one of you isn’t scared to admit it.”
“Oh, no, I am terrified. But I think I’ve known for a bit. A few weeks. I knew the deep upset I felt about him leaving me wasn’t just friendship. Especially when I was able to forget about Tommy…” Buck looked at his sister in honesty. “And, to be fair, I think I was jealous of Tommy to begin with. It was a tiny bit easier to admit that maybe I had feelings for him, rather than unpack the possibility of having those feelings for my best friend.
“Okay, looking over all that… is that what you took away from what I said?” Maddie asked in genuine confusion.
“No. I heard the rest of it, just don’t believe it.” Buck laughed.
“Well, you really should. Because I know he likes you the same way you like him.” Maddie’s eyes softened.
“How? You two barely ever talk. Which is kind of insane because he’s my best friend, and you’re my sister. I’m with both of you a lot.” Buck suddenly realised that their lack of talking was really weird. He might have to change that.
“Yeah, well, when we were over at your place I snuck in a conversation. I’m not gonna say what he said, or what exactly I said, because I’ve got human decency, but… just know, he feels the same. He’s just… scared.”
“It doesn’t matter, Maddie. I’m not risking our friendship. He’s my best friend. My feelings could be one sided, or our romance could end horribly, and I’d lose him. And Chris.” Buck looked down once more.
“One of you will have to pull your head out of your arse sooner or later.” Maddie simply replied.
“Maddie!” Buck exclaimed as his head shot up, looking at his sister with wide eyes.
“What? I’m older, I can say that word.” She shrugged, not a care in the world.
“Whatever.” Buck rolled his eyes. He got up, beginning the short journey to the kitchen. “I’m getting a drink.”
Eddie walked up the stairs. When he made it to the top, he walked over to Hen, whom was on her phone.
“Hen.” Eddie said. His voice was serious.
Hen hummed in reply. Good enough, Eddie thought.
“Fucking help me, Hen. I’m inlove with Buck.”
Hen’s head shot up.
Silence overtook the pair.
“About damn time.” She deadpanned simply.
“What?” Eddie mustered up.
“Finally, you realised! We’ve been waiting-“
“Oh believe me, I know. Maddie told me.”
“Since when did you and Maddie talk?”
“Since Buck wanted to have a day with his favourite people.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
A beat or silence.
“Alright, well, whatever. What the hell do I do?” Eddie whisper shouted.
“I dunno, tell him?” Hen suggested.
“What?!” Eddie shouted louder than he meant to. “I can’t do that!”
“Sure you can!” Hen looked at him like he grew two heads.
“I mean- I can, but I can’t, y’know?”
“You can!” Hen said, getting up. “The words ‘I have feelings for you, Buck,’ can indeed come out of that mouth of yours.”
Eddie went to protest but Hen was already shaking her head and walking away. Eddie sighed.
Hen walked up to Buck. He was standing near the truck, cloth in hand.
“Are you washing the truck?” Hen questioned.
“Yeah.” Buck simply nodded.
“I can’t even describe it, but that is so Buck of you.”
“I’m not even gonna ask…” Buck trailed off.
“Not my point anyway.” Hen deadpans. “You gotta tell Eddie.”
Buck decided to play the innocent game. “Tell Eddie what?”
“Oh, you know.” When Buck continued looking at her cluelessly, she rolled her eyes. “Your feelings!”
“Oh, that thing.” Buck sighed. Obviously he knew what Hen was talking about the whole time. “No I don’t.”
“Yes you do.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do!”
“No I don’t!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No-“
“Guys.” Chimney said as he walked past the pair. “Shut up.”
“Sorry, Chim.” Buck said as he walked away.
Hen kept talking, but in a more hushed voice. “I’m your captain, and you have to listen to me. Tell Eddie how you feel.”
“You’re not even captain right now. Also, not off shift I don’t-“
“Cap’s taking some time off, spending next weekend with Athena. And you’re on shift, Buckaroo.”
“I won’t be when I tell him.”
“So you will tell him?”
“I never said I’d tell him.”
“You just did.”
“I never said I’d tell Eddie-“
“Tell me what?” Eddie asked, walking past.
“Uh- that even though I said I hate your cooking you actually make pretty good Mac ‘N Cheese.” Buck smiled innocently.
“Oh, thanks,” Eddie throws over his shoulder, quickly striding off.
Hen looks at Buck, and an unimpressed look at that.
“I swear, Buck-“
“I know, that was a terrible lie.” Buck looks down guitily. “But it’s also the only thing he can cook that tastes semi-good.”
“Alright, Buck, have it your way,” Hen rolled her eyes one last time. Before she could walk away, the alarm sounded, and havoc began like usual.
The day after came around. Buck and Eddie both had it off, which wasn’t unusual recently.
One of them did do what Maddie said. One of them did pull their head out of their arse, just not in the way she meant.
It was early in the morning, barely even 8 yet.
And yet, Buck was already at Eddie’s door. He slammed his fist against the wood, awaiting an answer.
Eddie came to the door, and Buck felt his mouth go dry. He had to swallow three times.
“Oh, Buck,” Eddie acknowledged him. “I- come in, if you want.”
“Well, why else would I be here?” Buck chuckled as he walked in. The reply that came was a laugh out of Eddie’s mouth.
“So what are you up to today?” Buck wondered, making casual conversation.
“Well, I’m about to get dressed then maybe go grocery shopping, after that I’m not too sure.” Oh, right. That’s why Buck’s mouth went dry. All Eddie was in at that moment was denim pants. Eddie went to continue talking when Buck took a few steps closer, cutting him off.
“Don’t.” He simply said.
“What?” Eddie somehow managed.
“Don’t get dressed.”
“Wh-“ Eddie cut himself off as Buck took the final steps necessary for there to be no space between them at all. He reached up and cupped Eddie’s jaw, leaning his face towards the other man’s. Mere centremetres between their lips, Buck stopped. His eyes darted between Eddie’s eyes and lips and gave them both some time to back out if they wanted.
Buck leaned forward the tiny gap and pressed his lips to Eddie’s. He continued for a few seconds before pulling away again, looking at Eddie. Eddie simply leaned forward, connecting their lips once again. His hands found Buck’s back.
The kiss continued until Eddie pulled away.
“Let’s take this elsewhere, yeah?”
“Yeah.”