Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The feeling was strange, unfamiliar. The way his chest tightened when near, the lack of words on his tongue, all felt off. It made him sick to his stomach. A warmth on the cheeks, visible with a naked eye. Legs weak when he passed by. Everything was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He isn't supposed to be feeling this. It was wrong.

His expirience on Hermitcraft has been a mess ever since the start. Everyone was so different, off-putting, alien. The way he would see Gem cuddled up next to Pearl on the roof of her builds, the purple, slightly transparent wings of the taller of them fluttering when the ginger haired girl giggled. The way the moth hybrid would softly cup Gem's cheek, lean in, eyes sparkling. The way she would individually kiss every single freckle on the dotted face of her girlfriend.

It wasn't jealousy that held him captive, it was a twisted feeling of something he couldn't quite name. Something unnatual. It wasn't right, them being so close to each other clearly was wrong.

When he saw Grian press his lip against Mumbo's, both giddy and flushed, a lump appeared in his throat. He couldn't swallow it even if he really tried.

The casual flirting between the great scientist, Cub and his polar opposite, a sweet zookeeper, Scar, during meetings. The sight was unwanted by him. Even if he knew it was fine, it was still incredibly outré.

What especially made him feel all those things was when a certain white haired wannabe ninja appeared. His eyes, one a beautiful yet mysterious, void-like black. It swallowed him, like a black hole. The other, red. Red like the furious fire burning in his chest as he talked to him. Red like his face when the man got too close to him. Red like the blood leaking out of his thighs as the blade sunk into his skin. It wasn't the same warmth as the one he detected when near the man. Maybe it made him smile, seeing the plasma leak out slowly, drip down to the ground, tickle the wound as it crinkled and dried but it wasn't the same smile that Etho brought to him. The grinning, toothed smile that Etho made him make.

Etho, Etho, Etho

The name tasted odd on his tongue, his accented lisp made it sound more like Eefo. Every single person teased him for it. Even the man itself. That wasn't why it tasted so bittersweet when he said it. Oh, it was so sweet, like a sugary cocktail on a sunny day. A childhood birthday cake, a baked apple with cinnamon and sugar. Undoubtedly sweet.

Bitter. It was also incredibly fucking bitter. Like biting into ginger or an artichoke. Like drinking pure black coffee. Like eating the peel of a lemon. It made him ick, make a face, avoid it.

Even so, it would come back to him. Both the sweetness and bitterness. Everytime the artic fox approached. Everytime his tall, white ears perked up when Joel started talking. Everytime he would grab his shoulder. Every glance in his direction, every breath of the same air.

Fight it, that's what he had to do. His stomach flipping when Etho was mentioned in any conversation. His heartbeat increasing at the very thought. Something he had to fight or run away from.

He had spent hours building, designing. Anything to get his mind of the person who tried to occupy it. The person who he needed to dissappear, fade away from his life. If he let Etho get any closer than he was now, it would all rumble down. The fortress of feelings he had supressed would shamble into pieces. It would break along with him. The teared out parts would crush him, kill him.

He musn't tell the man anything. Musn't describe his emotions to the world. Keep them in. At all times.

.

Etho loved Joel. Something undenialble for him. He loved his toothy grin, sparkling eyes, the way his big tanuki tail wagged as he rambled on and on about his projects. His quiet song-humming while walking down a foresty path with Etho. The pink dusted cheeks when the arctic fox flirted with him.

His smile. The most precious thing ever. Something Etho had to protect. A beacon of hope and motivation. The curl of his thin lips, the crinkle of his spruce brown eyes, Etho would do anything to keep that expression on Joel's face forever. It was his mission. The most important one. To keep Joel happy and smiley as long as he could. To keep the sweet giggles and snorts he would make.

Yet a different one laid on the list, right under the two.

To be the one Joel loved.

To be the one making Joel feel loved, truely loved.

For Joel to be his, for him to be Joel's.

For them to be partners. Boyfriends. Lovers

He knew it was possible. He had seen the way the raccoon dog looked at him. Ears perking up excitedly when close. When stressed, Joel would twitch ever so slightly. Etho has seen it all. But when he stepped closer, Joel senced his presence and seemed to calm down.

Their hugs were delicate and the fox remembered them all. From their first one, at the Relation ship, bloodlust in their vains after killing Pearl to the latest one, given by him to Joel, a side hug when talking to Impulse at his cyberpunk, neon base.

He had to tell Joel how he felt. How much he cared about the man, how much he loved him.

.

He was ready. A colorful bouquet of red chrysanthemums, primroses, hydrangeas alongside yellow tulips and tiger lilies, blue salvias. All surrounded by a bunch of green leaves, pulling everything together.

Hoping that the hours speng learning flower language were worth it, he sent a letter to Joel, on pink tinted paper, words written in a wonky cursive with a black ink.

Dear Joel,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I have an incredibly important piece of information to tell you yet i find myself lacking the courage to share it on paper, like this.

That is why I'm asking you to meet me at the peak of Magical Mountain, by your base today at sunset, right by the stunning red gate you have built.

I hope you'll be there.

Sincerely,
Etho.

The doodle of a heart he thought of putting right by his signature was quickly crossed out of his mind as he sealed the letter, sticking a stamp to it before sliding into the mechanical mailbox. After a ding, he was assured everything was ready. Everything but him.

He had to get ready, look as nice as he could. For Joel. Running back to the house, he wanted to ask Gem for fashion advice but seeing as the sunset was approaching rapidly, he switched his jacket to a dark green sweater (a color reminding him of his 'crush') and the old, wrinkly navy blue pants to brown woolen ones (which reminded him of Joel's eyes of course)

The bouquet placed on a wooden table was snached by Etho as the arctic fox run out of his house to the place he would be meeting Joel at.
The feeling of blush creeping up his cheeks made him already excited, ready and prepared for the other's arrival.

A friendly wind sifted through his hair when he finnaly reached the peak of the voulcano, settling by a blossoming cherry tree with the flowers hidden behind his back. Now all he had to do is wait. Wait for the person he has admired since what felt like forever to walk over to him and hear what he had to say.

And accept.

.

Joel was stressed. Had recevied the letter, the tanuki non stop paced around the city, step after step analyzing the letter. The handwriting seemed so fancy, precise. It drove him insane. What did Etho want to say? The compliment sent towards him by the man was so cheesy yet Joel knew something was behind it.

The sun, shining onto the main path of the city he's built all by himself revealed the way upwards, to the crimson gate Joel built. The gate Etho was supposed to be by. It made him neasous, even though it was probably something relatively ordinary, like wanting to share a project with him or plan a prank on some other Hermit.

That's what the tanuki thought, staying positive as he left his tall house, sliding down the stairs to go over to the spot. Entering the windy atmosphere of where he decided to build, the man walked on the stones and gravel leading up to the top of Magical Mountain.

Taken a deep breath, he passed the gate, still no sight of his friend. The wind blew in his face, hair tangling, light green kimono glittering and flowing gracefully. It almost reached the grass however he made sure the ends were tailored low enough. Golden embroidements of yellow apricot blossoms reflected the light fallen on them, making the raccoon dog hybrid look like a soft lantern, even if he was not soft at all.

At the edge of the mountain, right by where the giant hole of the volcano stood, he turned his head to the side, noticing the author of the letter.

Etho stood there, hands behind his back, the snowy strands on top of his head drifting gently. The face he made was soft even though half his face was masked, as always. He seemed like he was holding something but it wasn't visible in Joel's perspective. The shorter one of them approached the taller, looking up to face him.

"Hello, Etho" the name still hurt. He gulped, keeping a wide space between both their bodies.

The man in question straightened up, nodding his head at the greeting. "Thanks for arriving" the voice coming out of the pale lips was weirdly deeper than his usual one. Joel raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"So," clearing his throat, the tanuki continued. "What's the important.. thing you wanna tell me?" tilting his head, he put his hands on his hips, trying to look more intimidating.

Etho's eyes lit up. "Uh- well ..uhm" he babbled for a moment, a red blush dusting his cheeks. He let go of the mysterious object with one hand to nervously rub the nape of his neck.

The arctic fox inhaled sharply, starting his statement. "Joel.. we- we've been friends for a while now" the tanuki noticed him rocking slightly on his feet. "You-you're such a great person-"

"Oh." the brunette breathed, the gears finnaly turning properly. Oh. Oh no. Etho was confessing to him. A confession of love, adoration for another being.

Everything was thrown at him in less than a second. The signs, he noticed them all. Etho's stuttering, face reddening, constant fifgeting and staring. How his tone changing from a thick and throaty one to one wobbly and high one when he saw Joel. The physical contant he often ushered in. The fluffy tail of his wagging more when Joel entered a conversation. Constant conversations where the topic was Joel, the ones he had started.

Etho wasn't obsessed with Joel,

he had a crush on Joel.

He liked Joel, more than a friend,

than a best friend, partner in crime.

It all clicked. That click wasn't good though. It was horrible. Him loving Joel? Joel loving him?

That was wrong,

it wasn't right.

The tanuki couldn't love him. It was bad to love him. Wicked, outrageous, nasty.

Loving Etho as Joel was nasty.

Disgusting, pathetic.

With another long inhale, the fox pulled the big flowery bouquet out from behind his back, showing it to Joel with trembling hands.

"And what I wanted to tell you is that" his gaze was set on the floor, not daring to look any higher. "I-I love you, Joel," he said. "That's what I wanted to tell you" his lips pressed into a thin line.

"Etho." the brunette glanced at the radiant set of flowers, his eyes angering at the sight.
"You can't"

The man raised his head, glancing to Joel's frustrated face. "What?" Maybe he misheard the tanuki?

"I-" Joel's thoughts ran in his head faster than ever, wanting to say something, anything so Etho would leave him be. "It's wrong, you can't" his voice quivered as he tried to stop the tears that threatened to leave his eyes.

The fox gripped the flowers in his hand tight, taking a step closer to the tanuki. "What do you mean?" he whispered, only for the other to hear.

"You're a guy, Etho" he managed to mutter out, poking at his attire with his fingers. He didn't dare to look up, observing a small ladybug walk om the fresh grass.

Etho, his eyes wide, in shock, leaned in to grab Joel's forearm. The grip was tight, skin reddening at the pressure. "You're not-?" Was he wrong all the time? Did Joel not like him the way he had thought? Was he just a friend to him?

Staring at Etho, Joel's eyes showed nothing more than fury, raw, bloody fury. His breathing quickened, not the way it would before. Before all of this happened. His face went red. Not because of how close Etho was. His legs trembled, not because of Etho.

Run

The salty tears that glistened his eyes fell on his cheeks, he didn't even notice untill they were dripping down his chin and onto the ground. He saw shaking, unable to move parts of his body.

What was happening? Why was he like this? Why did Etho have to say that? Why didn't Joel say anything reasonable?

Run, get away

Breaths coming out in rugged exhales of air, a wheezy sound in between as he inhaled, the tanuki's ears flattened against his scalp, his brain solving equations of what he had to do too slowly.

"I'm sorry"

He turned back, tail swishing when he got out of Etho's grip, using all the strengh left in his veins to run away from the fox, a trail of sand and dust behind him as he run down the mountain in an unknown direction.

"Joel-" Etho gasped while staying unmoved, watching as the shorter run faster than he has ever seen him do. A mess of sobs and gasps for air as he slid off the mountain, sharp stones piercing through his skin.

The bouquet fell, dozens of flowers gracefully falling to the ground along with the newspaper holding them in the desired shape.

Water began soaking behind his eyelids, blurrying his vision, the colors of vivid nature blinding the rest of his sences. Pink cherry blossoms hanging above him, green grass below. Everything consumed him into darkness.

"JOEL!"

Chapter Text

He ran, ran and ran until he couldn't anymore. No, this couldn't be happening. It was too early, too early for him to understand whatever was going on in the world. Why, why did he have to say that now, why not later?

Why not earlier? Maybe earlier, earlier back when he wasn't so sensitive, so hateful, so broken. Back when he didn't know what was wrong and what wasn't. It was the real him, Etho liked Joel. Did Joel like Etho? He didn't know. All he knew was that if he did, it wasn't right to.

So he ran, tripping over sticks and rocks as the salty water in his eyes spilled down dramatically, falling onto the grass of Magical Mountain. The direction in which he was was unknown, he just went as far away from Etho as possible.

His legs didn't catch up to his mind, becoming weak and unusable when he finally reached some kind of flat surface. The light green flora surrounding him made him stand out like a sore thumb, a crying mess of a big tanuki tail and his miniscule shape as he stopped in his tracks, body shaking from stress and exhaustion. The lump in his throat didn’t seem to fade away, making it impossible to breathe. It was stuck, just like his thoughts repeating on and on like a broken record player.

He should’ve stayed, talked it through. Like a proper adult. Instead, he acted like a child throwing a tantrum, running away from the problem.

He’d always run from his problems in lieu of facing them, like a scared pathetic child. That’s what he was.

Now Etho hated him, he wouldn’t want to spend time with him, label them as anything. They were nothing now, they were all destroyed. The fortress he’s been building to protect whatever’s inside his mind crumbled into pieces, now a mess lying on whatever ground it had been placed on.

The air wooshed with a cold breeze as he stood, frozen in place like an iceberg at sea. Muffled sounds came from an unknown direction, becoming progressively louder and louder every second. The words were unclear though, a blur of syllables mixed up with one another.

Joel didn’t even know where exactly he was. Brown hues of a small building lingered in the corner of his eye, blue water calmly flowing against the wooden structure. Yes, distract yourself. From Etho, from someone you should forget.

Yet Etho was stubborn, oh so stubborn. So stubborn in fact, as the tanuki was just a breath away from regaining his calmness, the rugged pants of the man could be heard. He sprinted down the mountain, trying to reach Joel with speed showing the determination flowing through his veins.

No, go away Etho I can’t deal with you right now! he thought, every try of moving an inch failing. He was at the mercy of his unreplying body which started jittering the moment it detected the fox near.

A second presence could be sensed if he paid close attention, however it proved to be further away as they didn’t seem to make any noise. Or they did, Joel just couldn’t hear it behind the hyperventilating of Etho.
He’d realized the slight tickling on his palms and lower legs, noticing blood slowly crinkling from little lines across the limbs. Every try to escape Etho, stupid blummin’ Etho ended up failing and hurting himself in the process. It was useless, the man would catch him either way, to talk, to sort it through.

Even though Joel’s biggest dream was not to talk. Not to deal with the elephant in the room. Why would Etho catch every other thought of his and not the deepest desire of his right now?

Throat still blocked out of talking, feet stuck to the ground like glue, Joel felt anger building up. No, he couldn’t snap, not at Etho. Not because of these stupid feelings he was feeling. Not because of the stuttering he’d experience when in a conversation with the other. Not the blushing, not the butterflies’s wings fluttering against the walls of his stomach, desperately trying to get out, making him feel funny.

The figure now stood facing the tanuki, breathing in and out through his nose apace, hidden behind that goddamn mask.

“Joel,” he panted his name out, desperation filling his tone. The chalky hair disheveled and tangled as the man tried to keep his posture up. “just..listen to me- for a moment” he sweltered.

The tanuki had no choice, stuck in place like a weeping angel, unable to get a word out of his mouth, nothing even slipped off his tongue. Shut up and leave goddamnit! Joel wanted to yell, scream his lungs out to be left the hell alone.

Etho took one final breath before going on, trying to describe something, anything.

“I remember The Relation, I remember Joel had built it for me while I was struggling in the deep dark. I remember Joel jokin’ around with that name. I remember all those dark nights in that mess of a house–”

Joel’s gaze settled right under Etho’s eyes, around the material of his black mask, in an unmoving state, he seemed zoned out. The Relation, back when they were soulmates, linked up by some magical force in a death game. It was all fun, all fun until Joel sent them crumbling down, killing them once and for all by walking directly onto a trap.

“But it was home. It was home to both me and Joel, I hope. Joel made me feel safe, even with his craziness and bloodlust, he was my home, my soulmate.” Etho continued on, not stopping when Joel’s fist clenched, when his eyebrows furrowed down more.

“No matter- no matter how many times he would lead me to death, I’d still trust him, trust Joel because he- he makes me feel nice, he makes me want to talk about him all day, he makes my brain melt- and makes me make that goofy smile. He only does that to me, not even Impulse or Tango or Skizz or even Bdubs. Only him, only Joel because-Joel- Joel,” the fox went on and on, fiddling with his fingers while at it.

“Joel is my everything,”

He looked up from staring at his shoes, meeting the deadpan expression of Joel’s. No emotion whatsoever as he processed the other man’s words.

“and I love him”

Joel was shook, to say the least. Millions of voices calling him per second, roaring at him to say something, his blood boiled, vexation overtaking his face.

“And I’m not stupid enough to indulge in a fantasy like yours..!”

He fumed, letting all his anger out in one place, right at Etho. His lip quivered, a flush creeping up his cheeks. Yet the flush wasn’t that nice, comforting one he would get when Etho would greet him at a Hermitcraft meeting. It was a repulsive, stomach-churning flush that would make him gag if not for the water slowly flowing his eyes with a blur.

He trembled, a shiver sent down his spine hearing the choleric growls he had produced for no reason. Tail ducking between his legs, he exhaled the breath he’d been holding in.

“Joel- it’s not-” Etho stuttered, taking a careful step towards Joel. A bomb with the shortest fuse known to man, the fox had always taken his quality time trying to defuse it yet he clearly never managed to.

“We’re both guys, Etho, it’s not supposed to work this way” Joel choked out, knitted eyebrows hiding the tears overflowing his brown eyes. His voice pitched up an octave or two, he never really liked that. It would only happen if he was really enthusiastic or overwhelmed, surprised or fucking furious. Furious at Etho, at the world, at everything.

“Who said what’s right, what’s not?” a smile spread over Etho’s cheeks, hidden behind the piece of material. The question was rhetorical, cheesy even. However, the comedic part of it all didn’t really humor Joel. Was Etho making fun of him? For not knowing something? For being in denial, for hating himself? Before the tanuki could squeeze out another embarrassing response, he continued.

“No one in this whole wild world should judge Joel for liking another man, and I do understand that he may not like one but if he does- if he does then that’s completely alright” his voice cracked by the end of his sentence. As Joel looked up at the space below his eyes, he saw tears glistening in the sun, ready to spill down. So they did, gently, naturally spilled down to his cheeks, hiding behind the mask. “And if they do judge, then they- they’re simply fucking dumb.”

Now he was calling Joel dumb, amazing. Calling him dumb for judging that fact. Crazy communication skills, but when both their eyes were wet, too overwhelmed to actually think about anything, it all didn’t matter.

Joel cleared his throat from the lump that had been sitting in it, with a shaky laugh, he responded. “..Then-” the ends of his lips curled in a sarcastic smile.

“But- but what matters- what matters is that-” the fox took a deep breath, shoulders shaking as he did. “That I want to be with you, Joel! I want to be yours and for you to be mine, I want us-” hands twitched closer to the tanuki’s, not touching them. “To be able to spend time as more than just friends, to be able to go out- go out as boyfriends and- and” he brittled. “I’ve already confessed, still, if Joel does like me- if that possibility is right,” Etho smiled, raising one hand to wipe his eyes. “Then I’ll take all the time needed for him to accept my- my confession.” When raising his gaze up at Joel again, he found the other staring into his eyes, a horrified and worried expression plastered.

“I don’t…think anything good comes with..being with me” a mutter came out of his lips.

Etho let out a quiet gasp, exhaling it with a chuckle. “That’s not- That’s not something I want to talk about!” He noticed they were stepping off track. He needed to solve this problem before they parted, before he would fall into a rabbit hole, sulk in his base for ages.
“Doesn’t that go for Joel too?!”

”Why?!” the other man shouted out, jerking back from Etho. “If you’re with me, you would have to constantly-” he gasped in the air, tears falling like waterfalls down his face. “Think if I’m still fine or not, If I’m finally normal now!” his voice quivered. “What if- what if we get o- odd looks from people” he wept bitterly. “What if people start gossiping about us?!”

“Even if that’d happen, Etho would be blummin’ kind to me either way!” he coughed, out of breath. “If we aren’t together, we can go on without havin’ to- to deal with that, for you-”

“Who cares about me..!?” the other interrupted, his hand nearly ready to grip Joel’s.
“Compared to Joel hating who he is, it doesn’t matter at all!!”

“It matters to me, alright?” Joel yelled back, croaky and rough. “In spite of all the kindness, I’m sure I’d be hurt- hurt by every stare and every word over and over and over again! ...And I don’t want to suffer” he was shaking, weak as an autumn leaf with his voice quieting down gradually. “Something like that will become nothing but painful for the both of us,”

“wouldn’t it be better for us to part ways and forget about each other..?”

Sobbing, he hiccuped once in a while, rubbing his eye with the back of the kimono’s sleeve, making its sclera redden. It was ugly, breaking down in front of Etho like that. Because of his jumbled up feelings and thoughts. It was dumb, unnecessary.

Etho was starting to feel like he was experiencing a goddamn fever dream, Joel was just such a doughhead, spilling what seemed like complete bullshit. “Maybe you would want that- for us to never have met, despite that, I wouldn’t!” This whole thing was now a yelling match of junk. “Don’t go as far as to decide what I want for this to be.” he blubbered, taking harsh breaths. “At least get that much across properly, I would never have wanted us not to meet, not in my bestest of dreams, I wouldn’t” he felt his chest closing up, no, he wasn’t going to give up, shut down, go mute as he usually would. “Despite all the flaws, yours or the universes,” he took a step closer, maintaining eye contact with the tanuki. “I will always adore you, your braveness, confidence, creativity..everything about you is so perfect and you’re too deep in a hole you had dug in yourself to realize that.” exhaling the air left from all the words, he stepped back, taking a quick look at the man before him.

“...That’s all I wanted to say. If you plan on leaving now, so be it, I’m not stopping you.”
Etho sniffed, gulping when waiting for the other to answer.

..

…

“E…tho..”
Joel heard the tears slipping down his chin onto the grass below from his squinted eyes.

“I,...” Deep breaths, in and out, in and out.

“..I,....” The orange sunlight setting over the horizon illuminated his spruce hair, curls shining along the stains on his face. He looked straight out of a painting, Etho thought. A majestic, stunning sight.

All the anger flowing through his veins quickly changed to a sudden wave of sadness, drowning him in some sort of confusion, something he couldn’t quite name at the moment.

“Is it.. really okay?”

“For me to buh..to be…with you?”

“I’m sure..that there..will come a time when..I get scared and want to…to run away”

“I’ll become.. unable to believe..and a time when I’m unable to help with that !”

“But……but”

his voice barely a whisper now, he whimpered the last words.

“Regardless of that..I want..I want..”
the breaths came in short hyperventilated gasps for air.

“I want to think that it’s okay to stay by your side, to be with you..!”

“Notwithstanding that it's…someone like me…is it really okay?”

The more words came out of his mouth, the more Etho’s lips curled into a soft smile, he put his hands up, looping them around the ears of his mask to pull it off, a sign of him wanting to show Joel how much he cared. Because he did, more than he could ever imagine. Under the mask was in fact, his goofy, stupidly happy smirk, a light scar slashed through his philtrum, something he’d hidden from those around him, even Joel mostly. It was embarrassing how long the cleft lip had stayed up on his face, so when he had first put the mask on, he just didn’t take it off if not for something important. Luckily, Joel was so important.

“It isn’t whether it’s okay or not, decide that yourself, Joel” he said softly, the ruggedness and throatiness of his voice still lingering in the air.

“Not everything has to be okay for it to work out..”

”Because I’ve already had enough of running around and yelling.” he chuckled half-heartedly.

Suddenly, Joel’s legs trembled and before he knew it, he tumbled down to the ground, broken, disheveled, on his knees before Etho. With his fingers trying all in their power to stop the tears from flowing, sniffing but sobbing at the same time, wailing and weeping, trying not to fall further.

“Me..” he scoffed, knees stained with dirt, palms smeared with blood and gunk from the ground. “..Me too...” he drawled.

“No matter- no matter what others think..no matter how much they gossip and no matter how- how many insults may come our way..” pondering, Joel sighed, looking up to see Etho’s maskless face. Full of raw, breathtaking beauty. Etho, Etho, Etho. The most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

“I want to be with you, Etho.”

“Then..” he heard the fox hit the ground alongside him, tail curling onto his lap.

Etho grabbed one of his hands with both of his, gently caressing the small cuts and wounds on them, his multicoloured irises glowing hues of a silver gray and a ravishing, gorgeous ruby red onto the skin.

“Let’s be together, Joel.”

Officially taking all the air left in his lungs, Etho lifted Joel’s hands up to his lips to kiss them both, delicately, full of care. This couldn’t be real, no. Joel couldn’t have accepted his love, it had to be fake.

Or maybe it didn’t have to be fake. Maybe they would stay together, careless of other people.

Another waterfall of tears came out to his eyes, falling down for what felt like the hundredth time before he threw himself onto Etho, tackling him in the tightest grip ever. He wailed, bawled into the fox’s chest, getting rid of everything that’s been heaving him down in a mess of sobs, yowls and cries as he tried to bury himself deeper, disappear from the world. But not alone, with Etho. He wanted to be there with Etho.

Soft fingers drifted through his hair, some mutters he didn’t quite understand being whispered into his ear.

And so they sat there, entangled in one another’s arms until Joel’s cries faded into mumbles that faded into soft snores. Etho sighed, deciding that moping around in the grass while it turned pitch black outside was not the best idea, scooping Joel into his arms and heading over to his base.

Little did he know, the morning he would receive letters by mail from Grian asking if they were alright, distressed handwriting telling him he’d seen everything as it happened by his base but wasn’t courageous enough to help and that he felt sorry that he didn’t. Etho replied with a thank you and a sorry for making him worry. All while Joel was curled up in his bed, covered by red duvets and woolen blankets.