Chapter Text
I opened up my laptop, taking a deep sigh. I signed in and opened the browser, clicking on the forums my mum recommended I use. I’d been scrolling through them forever, reading others' works and seeing all the criticisms, I had been noting them all and fixing my own work through the helpful tips. Today was the day I was going to post my first short story. I really didn’t want to, but my mum was so excited for me to do it, so I felt I had to. I normally get myself into these situations, I can’t say no to my mum, she’s too supportive.
There was one user’s work who I thought was amazing, they took criticism well and even helped others, they were so active and nice. I really looked up to them. My hands were shaking as I finally clicked the post button, the world felt like it stopped. I couldn’t do anything but refresh the page over and over and over and over…My computer then began to ring and Jared’s face popped up, I answered his call, sighing.
“FINALLY! Fuck Evan, when your mum told me you’d be posting on that writing forum I never believed her.” He immediately spat out, not giving me a second to even say ‘hello’.
“Oh uh yeah, I just wanted to make sure it was good…” I mumbled out, I felt so awkward, why would Mum tell Jared of all people, uggghhh. I knew he was going to make fun of me and point at every little thing.
“You didn’t do half bad, Mark.” I audibly flinched at him calling me by my first name and reminded him that I went by Evan for a reason. I just let out a frustrated sigh,
“I know you hate it, just ugh, it’s not great and Mum shouldn’t have told you, it’s stupid and I just did it because she wanted me to.” I was picking at my fingers, I was anxious and just worried he’d spread it around, he’s always trying to find ways to make people like him and making fun of a loser like me is a good way. He let out an annoyed groan,
“Okay okay, I’ll go, god you are so snappy sometimes. Peace dude.” With that, he hung up and I could get back to looking at the forum. I checked my post and saw I had a few likes and even some comments. I couldn’t believe anyone saw it…I assumed no one would pay it any mind as I never talked and just lurked.
I nervously started to read the comments, my heart pounding fast, I felt like I was going to throw up from the nerves. I was visibly shaking as I started to read them some were supportive, but one caught my eye. A paragraph welcoming me and then giving me some kind criticism, it was the account I looked up to…My face went a bit red, I couldn’t believe they noticed me. I quickly wrote a reply thanking them for reading my story, I was shaking with pure excitement. I felt like a teenage boy with a crush! I mean, I am, but not like that, I don’t even know them!
I got right to fixing up the story I posted and working on others where I did similar things, fine-tuning it so I could post more tomorrow. I stayed up until 1 AM working on them all until I realized I should sleep as I have school in the morning…It's time to regret living. I hurried to put my computer away and tried to sleep. Tomorrow is always a new day, after all. I lay down and attempted to sleep; it’s always been hard for me to fall asleep. Insomnia is a bitch. Eventually, after hours of tossing and turning, I drifted off.