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Chapter Text

Peter is not looking forward to explaining that he basically got kidnapped by THE Tony Stark. He panicked, ok, Stark just showed up, he couldn't very well let May know about him being Spider-Man, he just couldn't. He unlocked the door, entered his and Mays' apartment, and waited for the fireworks... oh thank god May is not home, he has no idea what he would have done if she were. He locked the apartment door behind him. Walking in, he went over to the kitchen, not a large one, but it's functional. He picks up the kettle that's older than he is at this point its gotta be, filling it with water he abruptly realizes that fuck he didn't tell Wade and Matt about the shitshow that was germany. He finishes filling the kettle and turns it on. Forget how Aunt May will react, how will Matt Murdock, THE Daredevil, and Wade Wilson, the DEADPOOL, react?

"Fuck what do I tell them?"He bets that Ben would have known, but Ben's not hear to tell Peter because of him. He leans on the kitchen counter and waits for the water to boil, staring at his phone contacts. What is he going to do? He can't just go, "Oh well, Tony Stark brought me to Germany to fight the rogue Avengers, about what? I don't know, so ya that was my week, how bout yours?" You don't just start a sentence with that. The suit that Sark tried to give him, and oh, the suit, Peter just knows that there have got to be at least forty listening devices and even more recording ones in the suit that can be used to spy on him and his friends. Matt was having a suit made for him that he could still freely modify to his liking anyway.

The kettle goes off, interrupting his train of thought. Peter grabs a mug from the cupboard. The mug is a Halloween mug with a little spider on it, fitting, eh? Peter also grabs some black caffeinated tea, putting the teabag in his mug. He wishes that he could have coffee, but May hasn't bought any since Uncle Ben died (anyway, best not to think about Uncle Ben). He grabs some milk from the fridge and sugar from beside it, bringing the ad ins over to his now steeped tea. Peter grabs the tea bag to put in the compost, burning his fingers a bit in the hot tea.

Once he added the milk and sugar to his tea, he carried it over to the desk in his room. He sits at his desk, setting his phone to the side and opening his beat-up laptop that May got him for school a couple of years ago. He checks his new homework that he now has because TONY STARK  didn't listen when he said that he had homework and responsibilities that he can't just skurt to go to Germany. 

Peter grabs his phone from where he put it off to the side, opening his contacts and clicking on Matt's contact 'I want a church girl that go to church' with a little devil emoji at the end. The phone rings three times before Matt picks up.

"Hi Peter, care to tell us about where you've been for the last week?"Peter responds with the dignified response of "Wait, we?!" Matt claps back with "Yes WE, Wade's here with me." Why is Wade there? Matt and Wade are friends, but they usually never hang out together unless Peter is there." Why? You know what, never mind. Um, anyways, about your question, Tony Stark brought me to Germany against my will to fight the Avengers." Peter, like the idiot he is, blurts out at a speed that rivals the Flash.

"Fuck! I didn't mean to tell you guys that!" Matt, in a "calm" voice that Peter knows he only uses when he's really mad, asks, "What do you mean you got kidnapped by Tony Stark, Peter?" Peter, digging himself a bigger hole, blurts out, "I didn't get kidnapped, just brought against my will!" He hears from the distance (he must be on speaker), "That's what we call kidnapping webs!" Wade, of course, and Matt said he was there. Taking back the conversation still in that disturbingly calm voice, Matt interjects, "Peter, please explain to me what happened?" And fuck Peter sorta has to explain now. He already blurted out the gist of what happened, curse Matt and his lawyer voice that makes people spill everything.

"Well..." And here he takes a step back, trying to think of a good way the phrase what he's about to say. Peter is a good liar, but despite this, he swore to do the best he can to tell the truth when it comes to the two people in his life who know all of him. Matt and Wade know him down right to his core, they know to rule the following kid from Midtown and the rule breaker (to save people, to save Ben) from the rough part of Queens who fight for what he believes in. 

Peter takes a deep breath and starts talking, "I was walking home from school two Tuesdays ago. I was tired, I had just finished patrol and had done three tests earlier that day. I had scrounged up some new parts for my web shooters and wanted to have a nice time with my aunt on one of the only days she's home in a month. As I walk up the stairs, I hear a conversation from the apartment, assuming May has a new friend over, I ignore it. When I walk into the apartment with my earbud, May calls my name, I take one of my earbuds out, and look up to see Tony Stark sitting on my couch." Hear Peter pause to let that sink in and to calm down his nerves. His heart is beating a mile a minute, panicking over what he's telling them (Peter has never been good at trusting adults).

He takes another deep breath and continues, " I was scared I had overheard at the Beugle that the government was cracking down on powered individuals. I was worried that Stark was here to take me away." At this, Peter's voice wavers for the first time since he'd started talking.

" Stark asked to talk to me alone, telling May some bullshit excuse about a "Grant". Anyway, he takes me to my room and accuses me of being Spider-Man. I deny this, of course, yet he persists and finds my suit, Stark Insults it and says he's taking me to Germany. I protest, obviously, and he threatens to tell Aunt May if I don't. So I get on a plane and go to Germany of all places and the fucking Avengers are there we fight and they escape. We fly back to New York, and Stark gives me a suit of his making. Now, of course, I try to refuse, but yet again he won't take no for an answer. I'm not going to use it, don't worry, but that's basically what happened." After finishing his recount of the events, Peter takes a long drink of his tea. He's trying to calm his racing heart, and he's breathing heavily. There is a long pause on the other end as Wade and Matt take in that information.

Matt, breaking the silence, asks, "Peter, do you.. want to stay at mine tonight after patrol." It's such a simple question, yet it gives him more trouble than when Matt asked to recount the traumatizing interesting events that happened a few days ago. With a deep breath, Peter answers

"Yes, please."

Chapter Text

Peter wrote a quick note to May saying that he was staying at Matts for the night. Peter's phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. Oh! A text from Wade ( contact name LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG! ) 

LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG!: Hey webs were gonna mett at matts gym k?

Ceiling Crawler: K on my way :)

Sliding his phone back into his pocket Peter puts on his homemade suit. He grabs his backpack and puts some clothes for tomorrow in it. Pulling his mask over his face Peter opens his window and jumps. He lets the air carry him, and for a moment all his worries melt away. Peter wishes he could stay in this short moment forever. Unfortunately not wanting to hit the ground his spider-sense quickly kicks in and he shoots out a web. Swinging through Queens is probably his favorite part about being Spider-Man. The bliss and peacefulness that comes when he's in the air, it's like nothing bad ever happened to him, Peter is actually happy for his powers when he's here in the air swinging through New York.

Entering Hell's Kitchen Peter lands on a rooftop through a hoodie over his suit which is a modified hoodie, not very comfy wearing two hoodies. He drops down into an ally to the left of the building he was just on. Walking out onto the street Peter follows the foot traffic crossing a few streets before finally making it to the gym. Pausing and listening like Matt taught him to Peter only picks up Wade's strained heartbeat but not Matts's. "Weird" He opens the door and is sure enough it's just Wade in his suit and a pink Hello Kitty sweater.

"Hi Wade," Peter says cheerfully, anding on "Where's Matt?" Peter's Sider-sense goes off a second before Wade tackle hugs him, giving him just enough time to brace himself so neither of them goes crashing onto the floor.

"Baby boy, I'm so glad you're ok!!" Wade yells (ah that explains the hug) "Hey dude how's it going?" Peter says as a response, he doesn't know how to respond to the pure joy coming off his friend. 

"Now about your question Matt on his way, we have a Gift for you!" Wade, answering what Peter was very curious about, says. Wait, gift?!"You guys have a gift for me?!"Now there is excitement in his voice Peter usually never gets gifts, money's too tight to get anything special. "YES A GIFT! That's why I was at Matt's apartment." Was Wade's energetic answer, Wade was just answering all of Peters's questions today. He only got two gifts on his last birthday: a new phone from May and a Star Wars Lego set from Ned. Matt and Wade didn't know his identity at that point but both got him a late present. Pulling away from the hug Wade starts pacing saying "He should be getting here any moment now." 

About 5 minutes later there was a resounding thunk, a telltale sign that DD was here. "Hey, DP Matt's back!" He yells across the room to get Wade's attention for he is still pacing after five minutes (wouldn't he get tired after pacing for so long?).

Wade immediately perks up, probably happy that he can stop pacing (seriously who paces that long). Peter hears Matt climbing down to the gym floor through the many rafters, landing on his feet like the cat he is Matt pulling off his cowl. He's holding a big briefcase which Peter assumes is the gift he lets out a little gasp. It must be something special and Peter thinks he knows what it is.

Matt turns his head in Peter's general direction and gives him a soft genuine smile. Wade ran over to DD's side vibrating with excitement before Matt spoke "Hi Peter I hope you like your early 14th birthday present." Now Peter was excited. It was

only September his birthday was in November which just confirmed his suspicion of what it was. Matt handed over the briefcase to Peter saying "Open it" DP pinched in with a "You're gonna love it webs!" Peter sat down on the gym floor with the briefcase taking off his extra hoodie and he was prepared to unlatch the hinges. Riching down he flipped open the clips holding it close and opened the briefcase.

Inside was a red and blue suit with a web pattern and a spider on its chest. On top of the suit was a mask with the same pattern but going out from between the large lenses that he had designed and built to move. There were new web shooters that he had also built. Peter picked up the mask and took a long look at it before putting it down and picking up the slick and flexible yet sturdy suit. It had Kevlar in places for protection but was still flexible enough that he could still move in it. It was beautiful, it was perfect, a huge smile spread across his face and he looked up at the other 2/3 of his team and said "Thank you so much guys" Before jumping up and pulling them both into a tight hug.

Peter realized them after a bit and looked up at them with such joy and happiness it was a contagious bigger smile spread across Matt's face and Wade's mask did that thing where you could just tell there was a missive grin across his face. Matt grinning said, "You wanna stress test it?" Peter gaped at him "Do you even have to ask, OF COURSE!!" He grabs his new suit and gadgets and runs into the changing room. Coming out in his new get up he pulls off his mask freeing his wild hair as his bangs fall into his eyes. Feeling positively giddy, fast walked over to DD and DP smiling all the way.  

Matt waves Peter over to the punching bags, Wade walks over and goes on the opposite side of the punching bag from Peter. He puts his mask back on and his senses go down from a frankly painful 11 to alert but comfortable 6. Peter gets into his punching stance but looks over to Matt asking a question that was on his mind "Why can't we just go on patrol to stress test the new suit? Thanks again, it's really amazing btw" Matt pulls his cowl back on and answers with a resounding " If there is a problem then it's better to find out here than in the field." Matt probably speaking from experience on that one, Peter winces in sympathy. He settles back into his stance and starts punching the bag, surprisingly there seems to be a very thin but effective layer of padding between his knuckles and the bag he feels no pain from punching a hardish object even with his spider-strength.  

After doing some more tests they decided that the suit was sufficiently sturdy. Wade takes off his sweater explaining that "I don't want to get blood on it" Matt grabs all his extra gear and Peter loads up his new BELT with extra web cartridges. A small utility belt that can hold a lot more than you'd think, he's loaded it with some bandages, web cartridges, and some small snacks. He jumps onto the wall and crawls up to the skylight, DD does some parkour ( PARKOUR parkour parkour )up and wades there somehow(?????). Pain shoots through his ribs (Shit he hasn't taken off his binder) now of course Matt notices looking (well not looking but whatever) over at Peter and asks "How long have you been wearing your binder?" Now Peter knowing Matt will know if he lies answers "Not that long only like 8 hours, it's fine" Wade gives him an uniprest look saying "Webs when where done patrol you have to take it off, K" Peter just nods, before opening the hatch and jumping out into the open air. 

"Still busting that dock warehouse DD?" He asks because he doesn't want to be going to the wrong place, Peter hears a resound "Yes" from Matt. Cool, he doesn't have to change course, shooting out a web he starts swinging towards his destination.

Chapter Text

Landing on a roof near the warehouse that he was going to bust Peter was now waiting for the others.

He hears Matt land behind him, and he walks up to the right of Peter and asks, "You ready, Spidey?" Was he "Hell ya, are you kidding, I've been so bored Stark wouldn't let me do anything!" It was annoying. "Hey Reds we're ready to take some ass and kick some names," Wade says from right beside Peter (where did he come from peters Spidey-sense didn't go off, What the fuck). Peter stares at Wade for a moment and can see in the corner of his eye that Matt purses his lips and has a confused look on his face. Deciding he's not gonna ask Peter, responds with "Ya" 

Peter looks between his friends and asks, "So what's the plan?" Matt, the go-to adult of the team, answered "You and I are going to sneak in through a window, Wade's going to sneak in through the side door, and wait for our signal."

'Looking' pointedly at Wade, Matt said, " Wait for our signa.l" Wade pretended not to notice, like that was going to work both Peter and Matt could hear his heartbeat. After getting no reaction, Wade answered with a reluctant "Fin,e Hornhead, I'll wait for the signal." Wade had a pouty look on his mask (how is it a mask????)

Peter hears "Go now" from Matt. He jumps, shoots a web, swings, and lands on the side of the warehouse where there's an open window, perfect. Peter grins under his mask and lets out a small series of clicks to signal Matt that he has found a way in. Matt parkours his way to Peter's position, landing on the fire escape next to him. Matt opens the window quietly.

Peter climbs in, staying as quiet as he can, and he takes note of the weapons that the criminals have. Five guns, three knives, and six batons; the other 15 people seem to just be for moving stuff. He taps out this info for Matt, who taps back an affirmative. Peter observes for a little while longer before he hears Matt give the all clear. 

Peter webs up the five guns, before webbing the hands and feet of those with knives. He sees Matt appear from the shadows and using his batons to take out three of the guys with no weapons. Wade crashes through the doors and starts fighting some of the guys with batons. He jumps down to knock out some of the criminals and web up the already knocked out ones (thanks Matt). He hears two more drop, he webs those guys up two before knocking out some more. Peter starts looking for what there here for. Word on the street is that the Ink Neck gang is getting a different shipment. He pulls the crate lid of (it was sweared shut, how rude), revealing some sort of alien tech guns. 

Turning around, he sees that all the criminals have been taken out. He calls out to the rest of his team, "Hey guys, there's some alien-looking guns!" Matt runs over, stopping on Peter's right, he taps the crate a handful of times (probably to get a better mental image of the guns).

Wade appears over on Peter's left side, looking over at the guns, commenting, " Well, that's not good. I know a guy who can get these analyzed, but the amount of alien weapons that have been popping up is worrying." Wade places a hand on his chin as a consederate expression grows on his mask.

Peter knew that some strange tech was getting popular, but alien that's pretty far of from what he was thinking. Matt takes one and gives it to Wade before tilting his head to the right, taking the cue, Peter starts to listen for stuff in that direction. He hears a police siren, the signal for them to get the hell out of hear.

Matt has the same idea, for he says, "We gotta move before the police arrive." (adding in the police part for Wade) 

Peter jumps back onto the wall and crawls back up and out of the window, Matt closes on his tail. Peter keeps going intel he's at least a block away from the dock. He stops and listens for the sound of police car engines. Peter turns towards Matt and taps his leg and waits for the answer. He doesn't have to wait for long. Matt gives him a strong nod, confirming that the criminals were arrested.  

Wade pipes up with "I'm gonna take these to my friend," then he looks somewhere and continues," But don't worry, readers, there will be more of me in this fic." Before jumping onto a different roof and disappearing into the night (Who are the readers, Wade?! Stop doing this?!).

Leaving only Matt and him, Matt opens his mouth, "Hey, kid, are you still at my flat tonight, or are you ready to face your aunt?" Peter passes before answering a small "yes". Matt waves him over and says, "Well then, we should get going. You probably have lots of homework," and takes off. Peter's quick to catch up, happy to be swinging again, they take the long way to Matt's apartment. He knows that Matt just wanted to give Peter some more time to calm down before he inevitably tells Peter to go to bed after only fifteen minutes of him doing homework. 

Chapter Text

Peter woke up to the sun shining through the windows in Matt's apartment. He had fallen asleep on the kitchen counter, and Matt clearly didn't want to risk waking Peter by moving him, or he would probably be somewhere more comfy.  He knew he would have problems with Stark, and today Matt would walk him through his options. He hoped to go home today, he had some adjustments to make to his new suit. Peter had designed it, but now that he'd used it, he found that the maker didn't quite make it up to standard for him.  

He heard Matt's heartbeat from the other room. It was steady and didn't move around, signaling that he was sleeping. Peter knew that Matt would wake up soon due to his moving.  As Peter had predicted, Matt's heartbeat jumped, signaling that he had just woken up.

  Peter got up his baggy hoodie, swamping him. He grabbed his bag and went to Matt's guest washroom. He stared at himself in the mirror that foggy put in (Matt had told him the story, it had him dying of laughter) for a moment, he didn't want to change, he didn't want to see himself, he didn't want to be preserved even by himself. He didn't want this, so he turned away and didn't. He dissociates well, he gets into his clothes, he struggles with his binder, and puts on a t-shirt with a stupid chem joke. He looked back at himself and mourned the fact that no one would see it. He puts on a less baggy hoodie and stuffs his pajamas into his bag. The smell of breakfast drifted into the washroom, eggs and toast. Peter had always loved eggs on toast. Uncle Ben used to make them for him every morning, and on the weekends, he would have maple syrup with breakfast. 

He opened the door and walked out, he yeeted his bag onto the couch and looked towards the kitchen. Matt was in his work clothes, a suit without the jacket. He was cooking the very thing Peter had smelled before he smiled at Matt, even though he couldn't see it. Matt had always cared about him like an older brother would to a younger.  Matt taped his foot twice before he grabbed a plate. He walked around and prepared the food, two plates, one for Matt and one for Peter. 

After eating breakfast, Peter and Matt sat at the table. Matt had called Foggy to come and help with the writing portion of the work. He was nervous, legal stuff was not his forte. 

He clutched his hot coffee (in a nice blue mug), being very careful not to put too much pressure on it, he didn't want to break it after all. He could feel his heart going a mile a minute for no reason, he did nothing wrong, his spider-sense wasn't going off, it was just his anxiety. His blood pressure was no doubt going up, just the thought that Stark could take this further was waking him panic. Stark had power and money, a dangerous combo. Stark could take him away and lock him up, he could make sure Peter never sees his family or friends again. 

Matt sighed and got up, moving his chair to be next to Peter, grabbing his attention away from his spiraling thoughts. He sat down and took Peter's hand in his own, squeezing it reassuringly. He started to relax, instinctively copying Matt's breathing. Peter hadn't even realized that he was a panic attack was coming onto him. His heart rate starts to slow, and he takes a sip of his coffee.  He was going to be ok, Matt would be there for him, Wade would be there, he hates Stark, most of the vigilantes would be there for him, hell, even Frank cared about him. The vigilantes were like family, they were close-knit and didn't always get along, but they would do anything to protect one another. He took a deep breath in and exhaled. He squeezed Matt's hand, letting him know that Peter was back in the present.  

They both sit there for a while before Matt speaks, “Well, we need to go over your potential options.” Peter nods, not quite ready to speak yet, but quickly makes a small noise of confirmation. “If Stark tries to get you in trouble, remember to ask for me and Foggy. Then we could press multiple charges against him. Blackmail, kidnapping, and…” They go over legal stuff for hours, foggy shows up yearly on. Peter isn't a lawyer, and a lot of this stuff is lost on him. He follows well enough but vows to look into it later. Eventually, Foggy tells Matt that they have to get to work. 

“Hey Pete, Matt and I have work, but let me know if you need lunch later, I'll make sure you get it.” Foggy smiles at him as if waiting for the second half of a conversation. It gets clarified quickly with Matt saying, “My food is not that bad.” “Yes, it is Matt. Your food sucks” “No it does not!” “I would beg to differ. “ 

They stopped before closing the front door, and Matt says, “And Peter, you can stay here as long as you need, I get it. K?” Peter looks back at Matt, hesitating, he doesn't want to intrude on Matt's space, but before he can say anything, Matt continues, “ You aren't intruding.” and closes the door, leaving Peter at his apartment for the day.  He simply sat for a minute, dumbly sipping his now cold coffee. But he smiled at nobody, just at the fact that Matt cared enough to let Peter stay in his space(he’s famous for being protective of his space).  He sat there simply happy(for the first time in a while) until his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Chapter Text

Peter pulls out his phone, looking at the caller ID “Burt water.” he answers and puts the phone up to his ear 

“Hi, Aunt May.” His voice shakes, and there’s a nervous waver to it. 

“Peter! Thank god,” His aunt sounded relieved and a tad bit angry. 

“Where have you been? Tony Stark shows up lying about a grant(I know he did) and takes you to Germany?! I saw the news about how he fought the rogue Avengers. Peter, please just tell me what happened?” 

Her voice starts out angry but slowly gets more and more desperate. (He did this to him and his web of lies) He has to tell her the truth this time, he can't keep doing this to her. She calls in the middle of the night, wondering where he is. She gets calls from the school about how he didn't show up for class. He can hear them sometimes as his aunt's crushed voice tells the vice principal that she'll talk to him about it. 

“I know it's been hard since Ben died, but that's why we have to stick together. Peter, please tell me what's going on with you. You’ve been sneaking out at night, you're sometimes not here in the morning. I get calls from your school talking about how you’ve been missing class. I even get calls from Ned about how you’ve had to cancel on him last second, and now Tony Stark shows up at my home asking about you. Peter, I know you're hurting, but I need you to tell me what's up with you.” 

The pain and desperation in Aunt May's voice was so clear, and he knows she's right. Uncle Ben wouldn't have wanted them to end up like this, so separated that they felt like they barely knew what was happening in the other's life. 

“May I–I need to tell you something.” 

He took a sharp intake of breath 

“Something happened to me and-and I was so scared I didn't know what to do, but uncle Ben told me something that made it so clear, so clear I felt like it was the only thing that I was good for.” 

His stutter was coming back at random intervals, his voice was cracking, and he could feel tears in his eyes.

“Peter, I don't care what happened to you, I just want you to be safe and happy.”

May's voice was sad and exasperated, her words sounded wet like she had been crying.  Tears started to pour out of his eyes, and he had to hold back sobs. May and he had been through everything together, yet he hadn't told her about a whole half of his life. 

“May, I… I have been helping people, but-but at a cost, maybe I’ve done horrible things, and-and there's nothing I can do about that.” 

A sob escaped his lips. How could he tell her now, after everything that had happened, after all the lies. 

“Oh Peter, I love you no matter what, nothing can change that.” 

Mays' voice cut in after everything she still cared about him. He had to tell her after everything she had done for him and the promise they had made, he had to. 

“May. May im Spiderman.”

He choked out the words, fighting back sobs, shaking his shoulders.

Chapter Text

Chapter might be a bit late. I just finished my finals and then immediately got sick. I'm finally starting to feel better, and I'm hoping to be able to work on the next chapter. Im so sorry i just havent been able to write as of late becaus of finals kicking my ass and then getting sick. I was really hoping to do a Pride special, but things just got too busy. I might still make one, but it will be late, unfortunately. I hope you guys are having a better summer than I am.

Chapter Text

What. Spider-Man, the vigilante going around, Peter Spider-Man. But then again, it was starting to make sense. The absences from school, the bruises that would fade after a night's rest, the way he was never home anymore, and the way he got this look of guilt every time he told her something that was a lie. Peter had always been a good liar, but having raised him for almost his whole life, she knew his tells. 

The way he only looked guilty if he cared if he didn't want to lie, the way he would look down after telling her that he fell down the stairs again, or walked into a door after he started being bullied. The way he would look at her after, like it broke his heart to lie to her. She would see that same look directed at Ben, but less often, her husband had always been better with kids than she was. 

After OsCorp, he got sick, and he said something about a spider, but they thought it was just ramblings. He was just that sick. They wanted to bring him to a hospital, but they just didn't have the money to afford it. And after Ben died, he started going out more and lying and getting hurt. Is that what he was doing, spider-maning around the city, saving people? Is that why he started talking about power and responsibility? 

Did he think she wouldn't accept him? Did he think she would kick him out or report him to the police? Did he think she was going to hurt him?

“Peter…Peter, please tell me you're safe right now.”

She needed to know if he really was Spider-Man (and she didn't think he was), then she needed to know he was safe right now. 

His voice came back grainy from his broken phone.

“Yeah… yeah, I am. I'm at Matt's.”

Right fuck right, he was at Matt's, not somewhere dangerous. 

Oh shit stark! Was he here cause he's Spider-Man? Her little boy, Spider-Man. It was hard to believe.

“Ok, you're Spider-Man, but I need to know Peter, why.. Why I need to know.”

There was a long pause on the other end. 

“I got bitten by a radioactive spider at Oscorp. And I got powers that no one else had, and I could do stuff that no one else could, but I didn't."

His voice was strained, and she could hear the tears in his voice and how it got higher as he stopped paying attention to it. 

“and - and… I could have done something to stop him, I could” 

He breathed in deep, and there was static coming through the speaker. 

“ I could have… I could have done something May and I didn't, I didn't, and now he's gone! He's gone because of me! He's gone because of me.” 

There was sobbing on the other end. And abruptly, she knew what he was talking about. He was talking about Ben. He blamed himself for what happened. Oh god. He blamed himself, he was just a kid who blamed himself. 

“Shh shh, it's ok, it's ok. Take deep breaths, deep breaths, can you do that for me, sweetheart?”

He took in a breath in for four, out for eight. 

“Good, good. Now, Peter, please come home. I'll make some hot chocolate, and we can watch some Star Wars. There are things I want to talk to you about. However, I want you home safe and calm before we talk about that, ok bud, can you do that for me?”

There was a very quiet “yes” on the other side, like he expected her to yell or scream or say something that was not what she had said.

She just wanted the only person she had left (her son) home safe and not having a breakdown in the apartment of a lawyer. 

She was angry at him for not telling her, but right now she was more worried about his physical and mental state than her own emotions.