Chapter Text
Robin the Frog was used to racism. Maybe that was the wrong word, but his classmates sure didn’t like that he was a frog. Even though the loud bullies were small in numbers, he was still painfully aware of how people avoided his eye and whispered when he turned the corner.
That didn’t mean the loud bullies didn’t get to him. He’d been slammed into lockers more times than he could count.
The first time he’d told Kermit about what was going on at school, he’d offered to get Robin into a home school program, it’s not like Robin had friends in his class anyway, right? But home school would mean there was no chance of that changing, so he went back to pretending that nothing was happening. He kept his head down, did his best on his tests, and sat with the other quiet kids at lunch.
He was actually just considering trying to sit at a different table for lunch, maybe the music kids? There was a kid in the grade above him who sang folksy songs and played the guitar, and if anyone was gonna give Robin the time of day, it would probably be her. Alas, that was more a daydream than a plan. Today, he’d take his usual seat with the lunch Swedish Chef made him.
“Don’t forget class, we’ve got our field trip tomorrow.”
Wait, what? Robin looked up from his notebook of doodles. He didn’t remember getting a field trip permission slip. It must have been passed out on one of his sick days. He sat up straighter with a sudden pulse of anxiety, was he going to have to miss it? Maybe he could get Uncle Kermit to sign the slip tonight. Were there even permission slips left? Would his teacher need to print another one? Would the extra time it would take to talk to his teacher and print the permission slip make it so he’d miss his bus? Oh god, there was no way this was going to work. He was gonna miss out on a field trip and end up in the detention hall. He wouldn’t be in trouble or anything, but he’d gotten a concussion a year ago, and he spent every gym class for the next week in the detention hall. Even though he’d never been in there for actual detention, it sure felt like he was in trouble.
Wait. He didn’t need to wait until after school to ask. He could come bug his teacher at lunch break.
He took a deep breath. Everything was fine.
***
“Oh! Robin, I’m so sorry, I thought you knew. We’ve got your permission slip, we’re going to the Muppet Studios. Your uncle signed it when we organized the trip.”
Everything was not fine. Everything was absolutely not fine, not fine at all.
Hours had passed and he still felt as shell-shocked as he had at lunch. When he got back home, he’d booked it to his room, barely acknowledging Miss Piggy as he passed her in the hall. He crawled under his bed, clutching his notebook like it would save him from whatever social torture the next day was going to bring.
You see, Robin the Frog had once tried to say he was related to Kermit the Frog, and he’d been mocked.
“Not all frogs are related Robin, you shouldn’t lie about stuff like that.”
“You think we’d believe that you know the Muppets?”
“You’re delusional Robin.”
Luckily for him, after about two years of not bringing it up, most of his classmates had shifted back into pretending he didn’t exist. Whatever came out of tomorrow, it was one million percent going to put eyes back on him.
And that was going to be a disaster.
***
Before he knew it, he was standing outside the Muppets Studio. Maybe it wasn’t his best idea to completely avoid his uncle for the past 12 hours, as though ignoring his family meant they’d ignore him all day too. That was absolutely not how today was going to go, but a frog could dream.
“Oh Robin.” Someone was standing right behind him. “You must be so excited.”
He turned. “Chrissy, please not today.”
“What’s wrong? I thought you were tight with the Muppets?” Chrissy snickered. “Or did you think your lies wouldn’t catch up to you?”
For a moment, only a moment, he was excited to watch the smile get wiped from her face.
“Okay class.” His teacher had just finished handing out the guest clearance passes. “In a few minutes, one of the stage crew members will come out and get us to start the tour.”
Chrissy leaned in to whisper, “Ready for your world to fall apart?”
“Lunch will be at two.”
Shoot. In his rush out this morning, he’d completely forgotten to pack a lunch.
“And then we’ll watch the dress rehearsal for tonight’s show.”
“Seriously Robin, I hope you have a great time meeting your heroes,” Chrissy whispered again, “I sure hope nobody mentions your little stint to them.”
“Can you leave me alone?” Robin whispered back.
“Remember, we are guests here. It is very important to be on your best behaviour,” his teacher finished.
“Hey, hey, let them have some fun!”
Robin sunk in on himself. Of course the tour guide was going to be somebody he knew.
Scooter was standing in the open entryway, clipboard in hand. “I mean, you do have to be careful, we’ve got a show to run, but you’re gonna get to see some pretty cool stuff today.”
Admittedly, Robin always enjoyed watching Scooter work. He always seemed to know what to do, even when the worst disasters struck. Maybe this was a good omen, maybe Scooter would be too busy preventing complete and total show failure to notice that Robin was among the tour group, or maybe his glasses would get lost. Both options were equally likely.
“So, some rules before we go inside-”
Chrissy leaned in to whisper again. “I bet you couldn’t tell me his name.”
Robin tried to ignore her.
“Or maybe you could, since you obviously have been here before.”
“Excuse me,” Scooter interrupted, “I know you’re whispering, but these are very important rules. There’s a lot of electrical equipment, you could get hurt.”
Robin was not religious, but if a god answered his prayer and put a hole underneath him to swallow him up, he’d devote the rest of his life to them.
“So sorry, I was just asking a question,” Chrissy said innocently, “because my friend knows everything about this place.”
Scooter’s eyes flicked from Chrissy over to Robin. “Oh.”
His teacher shot Chrissy a glare. “Please direct your questions to the staff.”
“Okay, sorry Mrs Nelson.”
Mrs Nelson raised a brow, then cocked her head toward Scooter. “Well. Ask it.”
“Oh, I was just asking if he knew who was in the studio today.”
“No special guests, unfortunately,” Scooter apologized, “but our permanent staff is all here as usual, which is why it’s important we listen to the rules.”
“Sorry sir.”
He broke into a smile. “So the first rule is to abide by the taped lines. Throughout the entire studio, there are yellow lines around the equipment. You will be staying on the safe side of those lines. Secondly...”
“... And that’s everything. Who’s ready to head inside?”
The class erupted in excitement. Maybe it was a little infectious, because Robin found himself smiling too.
“Follow me!”
Robin fell in behind his classmates, doing his best to blend into the crowd. Scooter wouldn’t embarrass him, he had faith in that, but the moment he ran into anyone else, he was going to be toast, although maybe being toast wouldn’t be so bad. Chrissy was practically breathing down his neck. Her cheeks were flushed with an angry red.
“You’re gonna regret embarrassing me like that,” she hissed, “just wait until we meet someone with actual significance, they might kick you out when they find out you’re so parasocial about them.”
“Hey, Scooter is someone with actual significance, well, really the show wouldn’t run without the entire staff, but it extra wouldn’t run without him.”
Chrissy just stared at him.
“He’s the stage manager.”
“God, I knew you were weird, but I didn’t think you were really at stalker level creepy.”
Robin sighed, picking up the pace in hopes of losing her only to slam into the back of another one of their classmates. The group had stopped.
“Sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Okay students, we’re about to enter the backstage area. It’s imperative that the group stays together.”
A muffled crashing sound came from behind the door. Scooter flinched.
“Aaaand that’s why.” He adjusted his glasses. “How many of you have watched the Muppet Show?”
A good majority of the class raised their hands.
“Well, for the uninitiated, we’ve got a pretty cool stuntman who does some pretty good stunts.”
Another crash. Robin winced.
“And right now, he’s out there testing the stunt he’s gonna do in tonight’s show.”
Chrissy froze beside him, speaking under her breath. “Oh my god. It’s Gonzo.”
“So, just a reminder, stay behind the yellow lines. Honestly, you probably want to stand as far back as possible.”
Chrissy’s hand shot up. “Are we just gonna be watching? Or?”
Scooter tilted his head. “You wanna give it a shot? Or?”
“No! No, I was just wondering like, if we, or, well, if he-?” She practically tripped over her words.
“Yes.” Scooter smiled, amused. “You’ll get to ask him your questions.”
“Oh..kay. Okay, thank you.”
“Alright, I’m gonna pop in and make sure he’s ready for you. Stay right here.”
The moment the door shut behind Scooter, Robin tried to slip to the opposite edge of the group as Chrissy. She didn’t seem to notice, her face beet red and her hands busy fiddling with a ring. Was she actually nervous? It was a weird look on her.
Another classmate, one of Chrissy’s significantly less mean friends, slung an arm over her shoulder. “Excited to meet him?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for this since I was like, seven.”
She tousled Chrissy’s hair. “Oh trust me, I was there when you fell in love with him.”
“Oh my god, shut up,” she jabbed her friend in the side, “he’s right there.”
Ew. Ew... EW. Robin had never wanted to be put out of his misery more. He couldn’t help but scrunch at the notion that any of his classmates could have crushes on his family, let alone Chrissy. He needed to get out of there.
The door opened again and Scooter gestured for them to come in. Robin caught his eye, and he must’ve looked like he’d seen a ghost, because Scooter followed him once they were situated in the wings.
“Hey kid.” Scooter looked him over. “You look petrified, what’s up?”
“I think you knew this field trip was happening before I did.”
“It’ll be over before you know it.”
Robin shifted anxiously. “They don’t believe that I’m actually related to Kermit.”
“Are you kidding?” Scooter glanced at the group, who were too busy watching the cannon get reset to notice the quiet conversation happening behind them. “They’re gonna be in for a rude awakening.”
“Yeah, they think I’m a very obsessed fan.”
“Do you want me to step in?”
That was another thing Robin appreciated about Scooter, he knew what it was like to go through complete social hell in school, enough to know that sometimes laying low was the only way to avoid getting harassed in the halls.
“I... I don’t know yet.”
“Just say the word, I’ll get Piggy on them.”
Robin’s eyes widened. “She’ll kill them!”
“Exactly.” Scooter had a devious look to him.
“You’re the best, Scooter, I hope you know that.”
“Anything for my little cousin.”
Robin couldn’t help but beam.
“Hey, that girl you were talking to earlier, she’s not looking too hot. Should I call medical?”
Robin turned back to look at the group. Scooter was right, Chrissy looked like she was about two seconds away from passing out.
“Can I say something mean?”
Scooter raised a brow. “Does she deserve it?”
“I think she has a crush on Gonzo.”
“Is that... is that mean?”
“It’s gross, that’s what it is.” Robin tried to shake away his heebie jeebies. “And she makes a huge deal about me being too obsessed.”
“...Robin please let me intervene, I have an idea.”