Work Text:
Showing up at Joel’s house unannounced was possibly one of the stupider decisions Grian had made in a while.
With Jimmy in his house, and with his inability to keep much secret for long periods of time, Grian had found out his younger brothers were in semi-regular contact pretty quickly. He would’ve left it at that, not wanting to butt-in where he clearly wasn’t wanted, but Jimmy had given him the address and Joel’s phone number without any prompting. The only thing he’d said was to just show up. Because if he called ahead, Joel was going to say no. Which was a promising start.
The information had burned a hole in Grian’s brain ever since so, in the face of better judgement, Grian had decided to get it over and done with. Better to find out Joel never wanted to see him again now, then never find out at all, right?
And Grian couldn’t blame the kid, or young adult he supposed, for not wanting to see the older brother who walked out on him and left him in charge. Grian knew what being the eldest child meant; knew what role he was leaving his brother to unwillingly fulfil. He knew Joel was going to get hurt. And he still left.
Knocking on the door had taken a few minutes as Grian rethought his life choices about twenty times before committing. The knocks were loud in his brain, and he had to shut his eyes for a couple of seconds to will away any hallucinations that might greet him at the door so that he could get a good first look at his brother.
Instead, a young woman with light pink hair opened the door. She gave off a calming aura as she smiled at the complete stranger standing on her patio. For what felt like forever, Grian stared and half convinced himself this was a hallucination, appearing despite his best efforts, or perhaps Jimmy had given him a fake address to put him off of Joel’s trail, as though he was ever following it in the first place.
Before either could get a word out, however, a young man appeared behind her and stood up at attention upon spotting Grian. He had dark brown hair with the tips dyed green, and a wide-eyed, haunted expression Grian knew was a Slayer family trait. So his brother did live here after all.
“Grian.” Joel stated simply, and the woman’s eyes lit up slightly as she moved out of the way to let Joel stand closer. Grian almost wished she didn’t as now Joel had a direct line of movement to throttle him if he wanted to, though the younger man made no attempt to do so, “Did Jimmy…?”
Grian nodded at the implication, “I just wanted to say hi.”
Joel nodded before his eye caught sight of the woman stood next to him and he jumped before adding stiltedly, “Uh. This is Lizzie. My girlfriend.”
“Hi.” Lizzie wore a wide smile and waved, seemingly unperturbed by the awkward stand-off. She walked forwards, hand extended for Grian to shake, and he did so partially in a trance, “Joel’s told me so much about you.”
Grian was unsure how the woman’s presence had managed to confuse him so much in such a short space of time. Sure, he reasoned, Joel had a girlfriend. He had Scar, obviously enough time had passed for this to be a thing. But Joel mentioning his absent older brother, never mind at length, to his girlfriend was what really stumped Grian.
He was also at a loss for what to say back, unable to use the “you too” response that normally worked for that kind of statement. If Lizzie knew about him, then she knew for sure that he and Joel had never talked about her. So instead Grian simply nodded and smiled at Lizzie before looking back at his brother to continue the conversation.
Before he could, Lizzie jumped in once more, “Do you want to come in? I’ve got the kettle on.”
“No. Thanks love, but we’ll just stay out here for now.” Joel intervened, stepping outside towards Grian. He gestured to the steps going up to their front door for Grian to sit, and as they did so Lizzie went back inside to give them some privacy, shutting the door behind her.
Grian, as usual, didn’t know what to say and as such opted for the kind of small talk he didn’t really think fit the weight of the situation, “Your house is lovely.”
“Lizzie’s parents helped us buy it.” Joel smiled politely, glancing behind him, “I stayed with them for a few years after… yeah.”
Grian sat in the silence for a bit, not too sure what Joel meant. After he’d left? Surely not. He was pretty sure Jimmy would’ve mentioned Joel leaving immediately after him. Better yet, he trusted Joel enough to not leave Pearl in charge when she was only twelve. Though, Grian’s brain helpfully supplied, he’d done the same thing when Joel was only fourteen.
“Let’s just get this over with, I don’t resent you for leaving, okay?” Joel said, pulling Grian out of his trance, “If anything it did me some good. I stepped up and looked after the others. Got my head back in the right place, stuff like that.”
Joel made no attempt to make eye contact with Grian, and he didn’t try to force it either, just letting him speak.
“I stopped messing around and getting in trouble, at least with the police, I guess,” Joel continued, “Still got a few good beatings from Mum and Dad though. Not that that’s a surprise. And I know it’s bad, but I think that taught me something as well.”
Grian tried not to interrupt, but when Joel stopped, he had to push on, “Yeah?”
“That being the oldest sucked even more than being the middle child.” Joel laughed humourlessly, “And even though I wanted to hate you for it so bad, I couldn’t. Because I only got it for three years before I needed out, and you took it for sixteen.”
Grian stayed silent, letting Joel get his frustrations out before he gently placed a hand on his brother’s back. He was trying to figure out something even slightly comforting to say when the door behind them opened and Lizzie came through awkwardly.
“Sorry, I thought you might want some tea. Tea makes most things easier, right?” Lizzie said, placing down two mugs from a matching set between the brothers, “I didn’t know how you liked yours Grian, so I just made it like I make Joel’s, I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect, thank you Lizzie.” Grian said, lifting the cup to his mouth and sipping it, revelling in the fact Joel still drank his tea the same way as he did when they were kids, even if everything else had changed.
Joel also thanked his girlfriend for the drink before she returned to the house, watching as she left with some far off look in his eyes Grian could only assume he also held when looking at Scar.
Grian decided to move the conversation to a more positive note, “Lizzie is really sweet, I’m glad you found someone like her-”
“I got Lizzie pregnant when we were seventeen. That was why I moved out.” Joel rushed out, leaving a heavy silence between the brothers before he dared speak again, “He’s called Oliver. Lizzie named him. He’s four now.”
“That’s…” Grian said, though he wasn’t entirely sure he knew where he was going with the sentence when he started it, “That’s amazing Joel. I’m really proud of you.”
“Why?” Joel asked, looking every part like the teenager Grian had left behind, untrusting and broken.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Grian simply asked. He ran through the admission in his head and couldn’t help but truly feel there was no reason for him to revert to disappointed older brother mode. Joel had seemingly done something stupid on accident, but he’d stayed. Wasn’t that the main thing?
“Because…” Joel veered off into silence until Grian placed a hand on his, “Because I didn’t tell you.”
“Timmy knows?” Grian asked, and Joel sombrely nodded, “I mean of course he does; he was there, I guess.”
“I mean he wasn’t exactly in the room when it happened.” Joel muttered and Grian choked out a loud laugh which at the very least got Joel to smile, “He told me about that night he snuck back in. And you were upset but you hugged him anyway. He was staying with me. Tell him I’m sorry for getting him into trouble.”
“Actually, I’m gonna kill Tim when I get home. And you for getting him to lie to me.” Grian laughed, and he took comfort in the fact Joel could laugh at the sentiment too, and not be haunted by the phrase anymore.
“Don’t be too hard on the kid, I paid him twenty quid to keep the baby thing quiet.”
“Twenty quid?” Grian gawked, bumping shoulders with his brother, “I put a roof over that boy’s head, and he can be bought that easily?”
“I also told him where you were.” Joel became small as he looked down into his mug and away from Grian, “That was what swayed him.”
“Huh.” Grian felt the suddenly returning tense atmosphere around them, “You knew where I was?”
Joel continued to stare into his tea, “Yeah. It was the first thing I did after Lizzie told me about Oli. Before her parents offered to take me in.”
“Why did you never reach out to me?” Grian asked, and the voice in the back of his head helpfully supplied that he already knew the answer. He told that voice to fuck off so he could hear Joel’s real response.
“I don’t know. I just thought you’d be… disappointed? Or mad at me for doing exactly what our parents did when they had you.” Joel explained, hand wrapped around the mug tightening ever so slightly.
“Having me young was not what made them bad parents, Joel.” Grian said.
“I know that.” Joel said and, as if nothing had changed since Grian last saw him, he could tell his brother was kicking himself internally, “You really aren’t mad?”
“No.” Grian said firmly, but Joel’s hunched over position didn’t change, “I’m not mad at you Joel. I never could be. I’ve made enough bad decisions to ever hold yours against you.”
“You never got anyone pregnant…” Joel mumbled, though after a short period of reflection his eyes opened wide and he turned to Grian, “Right?”
Grian almost did a spit take, only managing to save himself by desperately swallowing the large sip he’d taken of his tea moments prior. As soon as he’d freed himself, he laughed until he had run out of breath and had to take in large gulps of air before replying, “No. I’ve never gotten anyone pregnant. How do you think that could’ve happened? What, did I trip or something?”
It was Joel’s turn to cackle, and it made Grian beam at the sight. Him being gay had never phased Joel, and it was one of the last conversations they’d had before he’d left, so it held both a sweet and a sore spot in his heart.
“I can assure you that has never happened.” Grian said, still laughing and lightly patting Joel on the back as he spoke, “And never will. Even if I wasn’t with Scar and… I don’t know… was with a trans guy or something. There is no way of that happening.”
Joel looked at him for a long while, confused. Eventually, Grian saw something click behind his eyes and his brother reeled back offended, “Ew, no. I don’t need to know about that.”
Joel turned away, fake retching off the side of the step and flailing his free arm behind him in an attempt to get Grian to stop talking, “Hey I was the one who gave you the birds and the bees talk, Joel. Clearly that wasn’t enough. I never got to give you the birds and the birds talk. Or the bees and the bees.”
“Shut up.” Joel tried to say, but he was failing at containing his laughter so hard it came out as a stuttered jumble of sounds vaguely taking the shape of words. Eventually, the battle died down and he got his breath back, “Who’s Scar?”
+++
After a long explanation of everything that was his relationship with Scar, Grian eagerly nodded when Joel asked if he wanted to meet his nephew. The brothers stood and Joel swooped up the now empty mugs to take inside with them. They walked in the front door and into a cosy living room where Lizzie looked up from where she was sat cross-legged on the floor with a giggling toddler in her lap.
“He’s been begging to come out and see Daddy for an hour, it’s officially your turn.” Lizzie said as she got up with Oli in her arms and physically passed him onto his dad.
“Hey Buddy, I’ve got someone really special for you to meet.” Joel said, turning around and presenting the oblivious toddler to the third adult in the room, “This is my big brother, Uncle Grian. Say hi.”
“Hi!” Oli smiled, waving furiously at the blond as his dad put him down.
“Hi Oli.” Grian smiled, gasping as the child ran straight up to him for a hug.
“I thought Uncle Timmy was your brother.” Oli said, turning around but still keeping his arms wrapped firmly around Grian’s legs. Grian had to stifle the laugh that nearly erupted from deep within him that the nickname had stuck going down the generations.
“He is, but Timmy is my little brother.” Joel informed.
Oli turned back to Grian and looked him up and down, “But Timmy is bigger than you and this one is smaller.”
“He sure is.” Joel snickered, clearly enjoying the face Grian made when he realised that the kid’s epic burns did not exclude him.
Grian played with his not-so-new-but-new-to-him nephew for a few hours, with Lizzie eventually returning to the room after a needed lie down. Eventually though, it was starting to get dark and Oli had to go to bed. Joel offered Grian a room to stay in for the night, but Grian was forced to decline as Scar had already planned a movie night for when he got home, just in case the trip was an unsuccessful one.
Joel led his brother to the door after he’d said his goodbyes to Lizzie and Oli, and been rather forcefully told to come back soon, with Scar preferably. Just as Grian was about to say goodbye to his brother, Joel spoke first.
“Oh, and Oli’s middle name is Shaun.” Joel said, obviously trying to be nonchalant but failing quite spectacularly as he looked at Grian with such approval seeking eyes it almost hurt, “I wanted him to be like the brother I looked up to so damn much as a kid.”
“With less trauma though.” Grian said, also failing to be nonchalant.
“Yeah, that’s the plan.” Joel smiled, “Who knows, maybe I’ll die tragically, and he’ll be the next Spiderman. Or Batman. Or Superman.”
“You started catching up on the movies too, huh?” Grian asked, smiling so hard he thought he might burst open.
Joel nodded, as though it was a cruel fate, “Lizzie insisted, you?”
“Scar.” Grian commiserated, “They can never meet.”
“I would like to see you try to tell Lizzie she’s not allowed to do something.” Joel warned, “I’ve never tried, but I’ve been told it’s scary.”
Grian laughed at the visible shiver the idea sent down Joel’s spine, “Well, Scar does everything I ask of him so, at least we know we have not fallen for the exact same person.”
Joel laughed and brought his shorter, older brother into a tight hug in the doorway.
“I’m gonna come back this time,” Grian whispered, “I promise.”
“I know,” Joel said, though Grian could hear his throat clogging up, “You better. Or Lizzie will kill you.”