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Wild Guesses and Lemon Trees

Summary:

Jack hears on the grapevine that McKay is talking less than complimentarily about his favorite major, and he decides to do something about it.

Notes:

I hope you like this! It was fun to explore this episode from Jack's POV, since he and Sam spend most of it apart. Enjoy :)

A million million thanks to my friend and beta chevrozn🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Also using this to fill the bingo prompt 'insecurities'

Work Text:

“Ow!” Jack winced and pulled away from Dr. Fraiser, scowling. “Didn’t you take some kind of oath or something?”

“Hold still, Colonel,” Janet chastised him as she turned his head so that his half-stitched scalp wound was facing her again. “If you don’t stop fidgeting you’ll tear your stitches and I’ll have to make you stay here overnight for observation. Maybe a few days. Or how does a week sound?”

“Powermonger,” Jack grumbled.

“That’s Doctor Powermonger to you, Colonel.” Janet finished stitching his wound and stepped away to pick up a penlight, which she proceeded to shine into his eyes. Jack squinted against the annoyingly persistent beacon. “Any nausea or dizziness?”

“Both.”

“Hm.” Janet lowered the penlight, much to Jack’s relief, and raised the thumb, index finger, and middle finger of her other hand. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Two– Carter says the thumb isn’t a finger,” he added in response to Janet’s raised eyebrows. “It’s technically a digit.”

“Gee, I wouldn't know that, having only gone through four years of medical school.” Janet lowered her hand and her eyebrows to fold her arms and assume her trademark ‘stern doctor’ expression. “Well, it looks like your concussion is mild, but I’d still like to keep you here for–”

She was interrupted by the arrival of Daniel, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “Hey, Jack, how you doing?”

“Mildly concussed, apparently.” Jack quirked an eyebrow at the duffel bag. “Going somewhere, Daniel?”

Daniel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Russia. Hammond is sending me to ask the Russians to reconnect the DHD to their ‘gate so we can use it to get our off-world teams home until ours is fixed.”

“Did Carter figure out what happened?”

The question was semi-rhetorical; Jack didn’t doubt for an instant that Carter could figure it out. His major had never met a problem she couldn't solve. Jack was pretty sure there was no such thing, anyway.

“Sam said that the error warning happened because Teal’c is in our ‘gate– stuck in the memory buffer. She thinks that when the Alkesh crashed into the outgoing ‘gate, it cut off the power before the one here could rematerialize Teal’c.”

Jack’s head throbbed as the room spun around him, and he was vaguely aware of Janet guiding him to lie back down upon the bed. Though his voice sounded distant in his ears, he managed to ask, “Teal’c is stuck in the ‘gate?”

Daniel nodded. “That’s the other reason we need the Russians to reconnect their DHD– their gate will become the dominant one, and all incoming wormholes will be routed there. According to Sam, every time either an outgoing or incoming wormhole is established, the ‘gate’s memory buffer is erased, along with any energy signatures that might still be in there– including Teal’c’s.”

“Well, can we get him out?”

“That’s what Sam is working on right now.” Daniel looked at his watch. “And what I really need to do right now is get going. I have a plane to catch.” He nodded at Jack. “Get well soon.” He gave another nod to Janet before hurrying away as if his– or rather, a certain Jaffa’s– life depended on it.

Jack sighed as he stared at the ceiling. At least the room had finally stopped spinning. “I should’ve made him go through the ‘gate first. Then I’d be stuck instead of him.”

Janet arched a brow. “And that would be an improvement over the current situation how, exactly?”

“He was supposed to follow orders,” Jack muttered, only half listening to Janet. “But then we saw Tanith, and there was no talking to him. Dude just zeroed in on that damn revenge thing of his and wouldn’t listen to any reason.”

“That doesn’t make it your fault, Colonel.”

“He’s a member of my team. He’s my responsibility.”

“Colonel, you can’t be responsible for his feelings,” the doctor gently pointed out. “If Tanith had killed Major Carter instead of Teal’c’s old girlfriend, would you have–”

Hey! Doc–” Jack started to lift his head, then winced as a wave of nausea surged through him. The next thing he knew, he was bent over the side of the bed, vomiting into a metal bowl which Janet had evidently retrieved just in time to prevent him from making a mess on the infirmary floor. “I’m– gonna pretend I didn’t hear that,” he coughed weakly, allowing his head to fall back down again.

“Of course you are.” Janet sounded resigned. Jack heard the click of her heels as she walked away to dispose of the products of his emesis. “Well, Colonel, you just bought yourself at least a few more hours in the infirmary. I definitely don’t want you wandering around anytime soon.”

“Will I get time off for good behavior?”

“Will you? My most difficult patient? We’ll see about that.”

“Smartass.”

“That’s Doctor Smartass to you, Colonel.”

– – – – – – – –

Janet eventually released Jack from the infirmary on the strict condition that he not overexert himself in any way. Naturally, the first thing he did was seek out the SGC’s expert in making his brain hurt.

“Hey, Carter.” He poked his 2IC in the shoulder. His experience wandering into Carter’s lab over the years had taught him that words alone would not suffice to gain her attention when she was engrossed in her work. Or at least that was what he told himself. It absolutely wasn’t an excuse to touch her when it would otherwise never have been permitted.

“Sir!” She looked up at him, startled. “You okay?”

“Oh, couple of stitches, concussion, nausea, dizziness, the usual.” Jack pulled out an adjacent chair and sat down next to her, catching a faint, pleasant whiff of her herbal shampoo. “Why is Teal’c still in the ‘gate?”

Carter opened her mouth, then closed it again. “Well, sir, it’s complicated.”

“Can I help?”

The look she gave him made him wonder for an instant if he’d started speaking Ancient again. That was certainly a problem they didn’t need to have right now, or ever again.

“Well… in order to overcome the lack of a DHD, we had to create the proper interface between the ‘gate and our computer…”

Trying to keep up made Jack’s head hurt even more, so he gave in and let Carter’s voice wash over him, her words a soothing sea of technobabble crashing in waves against the rocks in his head. Well, you did ask, he reminded himself with wry amusement.

“Can I get you some coffee?” he asked hopefully. If nothing else, he could at least provide her the boost she needed to work her sufficiently advanced wizardry.

After a moment’s hesitation, the corners of her lips quirked upwards, just the tiniest bit. So close, Jack thought.

“Sir, the truth is, the ‘gate may not even be capable of doing what we need it to do.”

“Which is what?”

“Resume a reintegration process which was cut off prematurely–”

“Carter! My head…”

“Sir– I’m sorry, but the more I go through this, the more I’m becoming concerned that we may not even be able to get Teal’c back.”

Over the years, Jack had gotten pretty good at differentiating between Carter’s tone of voice when she was just momentarily tangled up in self-doubt, and when something (to her prodigious knowledge) really was impossible, or at least highly improbable. “Oh,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say.

Carter bit her lip, looking back at her computer screen. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “Obviously I’m gonna keep trying, but…”

“You’ll figure it out,” Jack said, trying to project a matter-of-fact tone. Maybe if he pretended it was already un fait accompli, the solution would present itself. That strategy had always worked with Carter in the past.

“Sure, I’ll just rewrite the laws of physics in my spare time.”

“I thought that was already one of your projects.”

Carter giggled— honest-to-God giggled— and Jack felt a deep sense of satisfaction mingled with something else he was long used to leaving unnamed. Even in that room, he had avoided using the word.

“I think you’re vastly overestimating my abilities, sir.”

“And I think you’re underestimating them. You’re a genius, Carter. If you can’t solve this, nobody can.”

Her cheeks flushed a faint pink. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate your confidence in me.”

“Always.”

Their gazes held one another for just a fraction of a second too long before Jack looked away, clearing his throat. “Uh– I’m going down to the commissary. About that coffee…?”

“No thanks, sir.” Carter had already turned her attention back to her work, scrutinizing her computer screen as she typed away furiously. “I’m not really thirsty at the moment.”

“Understood. Good luck, Major.”

“Thank you, sir.”

– – – – – – – –

Jack’s cell phone rang as he was pulling into his driveway. He answered it without checking the caller ID. “Maybourne, unless you actually have something helpful to say, you should just hang up now.”

“Excuse me, Colonel?” said a familiar Texas drawl.

Crap. That wasn’t Maybourne. “I’m sorry, General. I ran into Maybourne today, and I thought you might be him. He told me Simmons is up to something in regards to this whole Teal’c situation.”

Hammond made a scoffing noise. “‘Something’ sounds about right, Colonel. In his infinite wisdom, Simmons has given us forty-eight hours to figure out how to rescue Teal’c before–”

“Forty-eight hours?!” Jack couldn’t restrain himself. “I’m sorry, sir, but– Forty-eight hours?! Carter’s done a lot more in a lot less time before, but she said this might be impossible—which, for her, means it’ll just take a little longer.”

Hammond chuckled. “I don’t doubt that she could do it, Jack. I’m working on getting that timeline extended anyway, but that’s not why I called you. Simmons gave me an ultimatum just now. He claimed to have the information we need to save Teal’c, and he offered it to me– in exchange for us giving him a Goa’uld hand device.”

Jack digested this information as he shouldered open his front door and headed down the hall to his kitchen. “Now what use would Simmons have for a Goa’uld hand device?”

“That’s what I asked him. He just gave me the smuggest damn smirk and told me all I needed to know was that this is the only way we’ll get Teal’c back. But I think you and I both know the answer to that– and how he came by that information in the first place.”

“He’s got Conrad,” Jack agreed as he started packing away his groceries. “And his little snakey friend.”

“I was going to ask you to see if you could track down Maybourne and see if he might know or suspect where they are, but since you’ve apparently already accomplished the first half of that–”

“I’ll contact him, sir.”

“Good.”

“How’s Carter coming along?”

“Still working on the problem, but she’s not working alone. Simmons brought in a… scientist… from Area 51 to assist. Dr. Rodney McKay.” Hammond said the man’s name as if he were describing a particularly odious fungus.

“He any good?”

“Oh, his scientific credentials are certainly stellar. His people skills, however, could use considerably more work.” Hammond made a noise that sounded like a harrumph. “He was extremely disrespectful to Major Carter when he first arrived, and from what I’ve heard they’ve continued to butt heads. I have to wonder if Simmons knew McKay would turn out to be more of a hindrance than a help. He waltzed into my office with that ultimatum like he’d planned it that way all along.”

Jack mentally added Dr. McKay to his list of mortal enemies. “How much time do we have left to find Conrad?”

“Just under thirty-two hours.”

“I’ll get right on it, sir. Hopefully we’ll find him before Carter strangles McKay with one of her doohickeys.”

Hammond snorted. “I don’t think anyone here would be particularly upset if she got to him first, Colonel.”

– – – – – – – –

They managed to find Conrad and take out the two guards on him without much difficulty.

Jack aimed his zat gun at Conrad, staring him down. “How do we save Teal’c?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll kill you.”

Conrad (come to think of it, the snake must have its own name, but Jack frankly couldn’t give a larval Goa’uld’s butt about that) smirked at him mockingly. “I doubt that.”

Jack’s response was elegant in its simplicity. He shot Conrad once with his zat gun and watched the scumbag fall to the ground and lie there, twitching. He moved closer to tower over him. “What makes you think that I care if you live or die?”

“What about the host?”

“He tried to kill a friend of mine to save his own ass.” The memory of Carter handcuffed to the hospital bed, mere inches away from death by lethal injection, filled Jack with an incandescent rage that masked a deep-seated terror. If he’d gotten there just a few seconds later… “I don’t much care about him, either.”

Conrad pushed himself to his feet with minor effort, seemingly unintimidated. “If you kill me, Teal’c dies.”

And that was the crux of the matter, much to Jack’s deep frustration. The 48-hour deadline– where the hell did Simmons come up with that number, anyway?– had to be almost up by now. If they had more time, Jack was sure Carter could figure it out on her own; but they didn’t, and their last chance to save Teal’c was standing in front of him with that infuriatingly arrogant expression that must come free with every Goa’uld implantation.

God damn it. Jack gritted his teeth. “Give me another choice.”

“Let me go. Once I am free, I will contact you with the information.”

Ha! I’m sure you would. “I think Teal’c would rather I shoot you.”

“Oh, go ahead.” Conrad inclined his head. “You know, Colonel Simmons was much better at this than you. He, at least, offered me something of value in return for what I know.”

A thought struck Jack. Simmons… he’s had Conrad under guard this whole time. He wants to use him, but he’s not stupid… I hope.

Jack shifted his gaze upward. He willed himself not to react when he spotted the light glinting off the lens. Gotcha, Simmons. And your little snake, too.

“Thank you,” he said to Conrad, before turning around and walking away, closing the cell door behind him and heading off in the direction of the surveillance room.

Maybourne followed after him, confused. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s a camera in that cell,” Jack explained. He walked over to the shelf on the far wall and started looking through the tapes. “We’re looking for two days ago.”

After a few moments, Maybourne pulled one out. “Got it.”

He inserted the tape into the VCR and pressed play. Within minutes, they had what they were looking for.

“...you have to remove the master control crystal before you attach the DHD. Otherwise, the imprint will be erased–”

“Yes!” Jack allowed himself a brief fist pump before hitting the pause button and pulling out his cell phone, dialing the SGC with well-practiced efficiency. “We’d better not be too late or I’ll kill him.”

“Simmons or Conrad?”

“What the hell, both. I’m feeling generous– yeah, this is Colonel O’Neill. I need to talk to Major Carter right away. It’s urgent,” Jack said into the phone the second he heard the line pick up.

Carter came to the phone within seconds. “Sir, please tell me you have something.” Her voice was tight with restrained desperation.

“I got Conrad on tape telling Simmons exactly how to save Teal'c.”

“On tape?” Her tone shifted to one of disbelieving hope. “You’re sure?”

“Is the Pope Polish?”

Carter emitted an excited squeal. “Sir, you’re the best! Hold on–” Jack heard a rush of air followed by a series of clattering noises, which sounded like Carter had dropped the phone and it was now dangling by its cord, repeatedly striking the wall as it swung back and forth. In the background, Jack could hear the distant chatter of the control room, and the grinding, hissing sound of the chevrons locking–

They’re dialing the ‘gate?! “Hey!” he shouted into the phone. “Tell them to stop the damn ‘gate!”

But of course nobody heard him. “Come on, Carter…” Jack muttered, gripping his cell phone so tightly his knuckles turned white. “Make them listen–”

The sounds of the ‘gate spinning faded into an ominous silence, and Jack waited with bated breath for the kawoosh that meant the wormhole was active… and that Teal’c was dead.

But it never came.

Maybourne came closer to Jack. “Did they stop it in time?”

“I think so,” Jack whispered, not entirely sure why he was doing so. The background chatter had gotten slightly louder, and he was able to catch snatches of conversation.

“–stopped the ‘gate? What happened?”

“–dunno, but Major Carter– like a bat out of hell–”

“–’bout time, I bet she would’ve figured it out a lot faster without that dickwad McKay hovering around–”

“–heard what happened in the commissary yesterday? I’d be afraid for my life if I were him–”

As the voices became clearer (presumably because the individuals speaking had drifted closer to the phone) Jack recognized one of them as Major Lorne. “I’m surprised she didn’t murder him on the spot. Calling Sam Carter of all people a ‘dumb blonde’ sounds like it’d be the last thing a man ever did.”

He said what? Jack was so stunned by McKay’s audacity that he almost forgot to be angry. Next to him, Maybourne let out a low whistle, having heard Lorne’s last sentence. “Someone said that to her face? I don’t think we’ll be seeing him again.”

Jack scowled. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Can you imagine if he’d said that in front of Colonel O’Neill? Sergeant Green got the stink eye from him for a week, and all he did was take the last blue jello before Carter could get it. I don’t even wanna know what he would’ve done to McKay.”

Lorne chuckled. “My guess would be something involving lemons. McKay should consider himself lucky that–”

“Excuse me, Major.” General Hammond’s deep, drawling baritone cut through the conversation.

“Sorry, sir– wait, was that off the hook the whole time?”

Jack caught a faint, unintelligible snatch of Carter’s voice before Hammond spoke again, louder this time. “Colonel?”

“Here, sir.”

“Report.”

Jack explained what he’d found on the tape. “So we need to get the Russians to give us their DHD.”

“Dr. Jackson just called a minute ago; the Russians have already agreed to loan it to us. Now that we don’t have to worry about the deadline, we might just be able to pull this off.”

“Yeah, about that, from which bodily crevice did Simmons pull that 48-hour number, anyway?”

Hammond snorted. “Apparently, from Dr. McKay’s.”

That bastard? It was his idea?!”

“Major Carter explained his reasoning… such as it was. I don’t quite get all the technical details, but he seemed to think that Teal’c would be unrecoverable by that point. Major Carter disagrees, of course, and I for one am more inclined to trust her judgment on this.”

Jack muttered a string of obscenities. “I’ll be back with the tape ASAP, sir. Assuming the Russians come through– what did they ask for in return, by the way? No way they’re just letting us borrow their DHD out of the goodness of their hearts.”

“Among other things, naquadah generator technology.”

“Is that wise, sir?”

“It’s technically what we already promised them, along with everything else we found using the Stargate. I have misgivings too, Jack, but part of the agreement includes oversight by the Air Force. I’m going to appoint someone to supervise their program, preferably someone with sufficient expertise working with naquadah technology.”

I can definitely think of someone I’d like to send to Siberia, Jack thought, realizing in that moment that he actually had no idea what McKay looked like. “Does Carter have any recommendations?”

Jack could hear the smirk in Hammond’s voice as he replied, “She believes Dr. McKay has the requisite qualifications.”

Jack grinned. “I agree, sir. In fact, he has my wholehearted, ringing endorsement.”

“Glad to hear that, Colonel. Now get that tape over here.”

“Yes, sir.” He hung up and took the tape out of the VCR, and he and Maybourne made their escape.

“You know, I could take care of this McKay guy for you,” Maybourne offered. “Accidents happen all the time, especially in Siberia.”

“I’ll pass, Harry.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Why do you care, anyway?”

“Hey, I have a lot of respect for Carter, especially after that foothold situation two years ago. Anyone who talks to her like McKay did deserves to know why doubting her is the biggest mistake they could make.”

Jack glanced sideways at him. “You do realize a snowball would have a better chance in hell than you do with Carter, right?”

“Hey, at least I’m not her CO. Speaking of chances–”

Okay, I think it’s time for you to go.”

Maybourne smirked. “Until next time, Jack.”

– – – – – – – –

Unsurprisingly, McKay reacted with strong negativity to Conrad’s instructions on how to save Teal’c. “If you remove the master control crystal, there’s nothing to regulate the energy distribution. You get stray current going in the wrong conduit, the whole ‘gate could explode!”

Jack looked over at Carter. “That true?”

“Well, technically it’s possible, sir,” she admitted. “The gate is a very powerful superconductor, but we could take steps to ensure–”

“You are a certifiable wack job, you know that?” McKay broke in, and for an instant Jack reconsidered taking Maybourne up on his offer. “And you’re no better if you listen to her,” he added, swiveling to face Hammond. “It’s a wild guess. Her judgment is being clouded by her personal feelings. Teal’c is toast. He’s history.”

He almost was, thanks to you. Jack looked at Carter again, noticing the slight tension in her jaw and the faint narrowing of her eyes, and felt a deep admiration for the tensile strength of her self-control.

“Sir,” she insisted, “I think we could make sure the risk was very small.”

“You try this harebrained scheme, and you blow yourselves up– for nothing. No way I’m hanging around for that.”

“Your plane leaves for Russia in an hour, Doctor,” Hammond responded evenly.

McKay stammered while Jack tried and failed not to smirk. “Wh… wh… Russia?”

“Your new assignment is to supervise the development of Russia’s naquadah generator program.”

“I’m not going to Russia,” McKay scoffed. “You know what the food is like in Russia? Besides, I’m a civilian. I don’t have to do what you say.”

“Well, as long as you’re on the Air Force payroll, you…” Carter allowed her sentence to trail off, arching her eyebrows at him.

McKay looked as though someone had just told him his pet puppy had been poisoned. “Oh, this… this really sucks.” He fled the room with his figurative tail tucked between his legs.

Hammond turned to face Carter. “Major, do what you have to do.”

“Yes, sir.” Carter nodded before getting up from the table with renewed determination. Jack watched her go, satisfied that the natural order of things had been restored. There was just one last thing he needed to do.

“Sir, permission to have a word with Dr. McKay before he leaves?”

Hammond looked as though he was trying not to laugh. “Granted, Colonel. Try to be gentle with him, would you?”

“I promise… to try.”

– – – – – – – –

Jack caught up to McKay just as he was about to step onto the elevator. “McKay, hold up a second.”

McKay sighed. “Colonel, I really don’t have time for this.”

“You’ll make time.” Jack moved forward until he was standing toe-to-toe with McKay, arms folded across his chest, using every inch of his height to inspire as much terror as possible. It was working, judging by the way McKay gulped and shrunk back into the wall. “If you ever talk to Carter– or anyone else under my command– like that again, I will personally ensure that you get reassigned to someplace far, far worse than Siberia. Something tropical, maybe. With lots of lemon trees.”

“L-lemon trees?”

Jack nodded menacingly. “Are we clear?”

“Um– y-yes. Yes. Yeah. Crystal.”

“Good.”

He stared McKay down until he was certain that he had gotten his threat message across, then he turned and walked away, only allowing a small smirk to cross his face after he had rounded the corner at the end of the hall.

I wonder why he hates lemons so much, anyway. I should ask Lorne what he meant at some point, just in case it ever comes in handy.

– – – – – – – –

In the end, the ‘gate didn’t explode, though the DHD did, and Teal’c emerged from the event horizon in one piece.

“What has transpired here?” Teal’c inquired.

“Well, believe it or not, you owe your life to a Goa’uld,” Jack said.

Teal’c looked affronted. “Never!”

“Oh, yes,” Jack said, while Carter smiled. He allowed himself a fraction of a second to savor the sight before continuing. “See, you got stuck in the ‘gate because… well, the other ‘gate ran out of power for the wormhole, and then our ‘gate couldn’t… um… Carter?”

Carter looked as though she were trying not to laugh. “When Tanith’s Alkesh crashed into the outgoing ‘gate, it cut off power to the wormhole, causing it to sever prematurely,” she explained to Teal’c as they left the ‘gate room. “Since you were in transit at the time, you went into our ‘gate’s memory buffer. We didn’t have a DHD, so our ‘gate didn’t have enough power to complete the rematerialization process.”

“Daniel got the Russians to give us their DHD,” Jack added, nodding at Daniel as he came down from the control room. “And Carter got it hooked up so we could get you out.”

“Glad to see you’re okay, Teal’c,” Daniel said upon joining the others.

“Thank you, Daniel Jackson.” Teal’c furrowed his brow. “But if Major Carter discovered how to retrieve me from the Stargate, and you obtained the DHD, in what way do I owe my life to a Goa’uld?”

Carter looked away awkwardly. “Well, the thing is, I– I didn’t.” She gestured to Jack without making eye contact. “Colonel O’Neill got the information we needed from the Goa’uld who took Adrian Conrad as a host earlier this year. So it was all them. I didn’t really contribute very much.”

“Other than hooking up the DHD and saving Teal’c without making the ‘gate explode,” Jack pointed out. “Which was kind of the most important part.”

She shrugged, still not looking at anyone. “Yeah, I guess.”

While Jack struggled to understand Carter’s sudden change of mood, Dr. Fraiser and a medical team descended upon them, spiriting Teal’c off to the infirmary. Daniel muttered something about translations and scurried away, leaving Jack and his 2IC alone.

“Hey, wait a minute, Carter.” Jack tugged on the edge of her sleeve before she could disappear around the corner. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, ‘I didn’t contribute very much’?” Jack made air quotes around her words. “You just spent the past fourteen hours working your ass off to get that thing hooked up and running without blowing us all to kingdom come, on top of the two days you already spent trying to find a way to save Teal’c. You fixed it, you figured it out–”

“That’s the thing, sir, I didn’t figure it out. I wouldn’t have known what to do with the DHD if you didn’t get what we needed from Conrad.”

“You would’ve figured it out eventually,” Jack tried to reassure her. Where was this lack of confidence even coming from? Carter was the smartest, most capable person he knew. How could she know things about wormhole physics that made his head spin, but not know how amazing she was?

Carter shook her head. “Not before the deadline,” she insisted.

“You mean the deadline which was arbitrarily imposed by a pompous ass?”

Carter snorted. “Don’t let Simmons hear you call him that.”

“It was McKay’s idea, though, wasn’t it?”

She looked at him, startled. “How did you–”

“Hammond told me.” Jack glanced around to make sure nobody else was in earshot before returning his gaze to Carter, wondering if he was about to overstep the boundaries of professional concern with his next words. “He… also told me McKay was kind of a dick, and having seen him in action, I’d say that was a gross understatement.”

She huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Siberia can keep him. It’s the least of what he deserves.”

The faint warble that crept into her voice made Jack give her a sharp sideways glance. She was staring straight ahead, holding her jaw tightly and blinking rapidly; and Jack felt a surge of protective rage on her behalf, the depth and intensity of which should have frightened him, but didn’t. Forget Maybourne. I’ll find the bastard and kill him myself.

“You know, if it wasn’t for you, we would’ve killed Teal’c and never even known it.”

Her expression changed to one of utter bafflement, and it was so adorable that Jack had to physically restrain himself from smiling. “What are you talking about?”

“When the ‘gate threw up the error warning in the first place. You figured out what must have happened and stopped the dialing before we would’ve wiped Teal’c from the memory buffer. That was your hunch that saved him.”

She bit her lip, looking down at the ground between them. “I almost didn’t…”

“But you did, Carter. You made it possible to save him in the first place. The DHD, Conrad’s info… none of that would’ve mattered if you didn’t realize in time that Teal’c must’ve gotten stuck in the ‘gate.”

The faintest hint of a smile began to appear on her face. “I suppose… when you put it that way…”

“Damn straight. Your ‘wild guesses’ are better than most people’s cold hard facts any day, Carter. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

She flashed him that smile, the one that could outshine a sun, and all was right with the world.