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Mother's day is meant to celebrate all the mothers in our lives, but how do you celebrate when that mother is no longer with us?
—-
Eddie has been staying with Buck for the past two weeks and things have been weird. He's happy to be back with Buck and the rest of the 118 but things have been so tense with them lately that he feels like he is losing his mind. Things finally come to a head in the kitchen of their home, because of course they do, after that, things appear to finally be back to normal. Eddie brings Chris back and the weight of the past few weeks seems to lift a little.
Eddie has been acutely aware that mother’s day is only days away but with everything going on in his life he does not have the energy to think about it. He's back in LA with Chris which means his plans of spending the day with his mother and pretending that he and Chris are totally fine is out the window. He knows that he can’t just leave Chris hanging especially with the looming presence of Shannon in LA but he is simply too exhausted.
Buck, ever the observant, sees that Eddie isn’t able to think about mother’s day. During a BBQ at the Wilson’s, Karen mentioned a family outing for mother’s day and he saw Eddie's face drop before walking away from the conversation. Buck didn’t want to overstep but he wanted to help Chris and Eddie in any way he could. He thought about it for days before figuring out something subdued but special for the both of them.
Buck, forced Eddie to take his bed on Saturday night. Eddie did not make it easy, they argued for 20 mins before Eddie finally caved and agreed to sleep in Buck's bed if it meant he could do the groceries for next week. Buck wakes up extra early to make breakfast for his boys, scrambled eggs, bacon and supremed oranges. Chris woke up first and found Buck on the couch.
“Good morning buddy, how are you?”
“Morning Buck”. Chris says with a sad pout, completely ignoring the second part of the statement.
“Are you hungry Chris? I made you some breakfast.”
“Sure, I can eat.”
He ushers Chris into the dinning room and brings out all the food he made. They both eat in silence but Buck cannot stand it so he decides to try to make some small talk. (which kinda makes his skin crawl.)
“So, how has Texas been?” Buck asks cautiously.
“It's okay.”
“That's all? Is it just okay? I haven’t seen you in a year and all I get is “it’s okay””. Buck laughs.
“It's warmer somehow”. Chris says.
“Oh yeah, I remember that. It was brutal when we went there.”
“Yeah, I don't love the heat over there, and I miss the beach.”
“You do? Well you always have a place to stay here if you want to come visit.”
“I don't know if I want to visit.”. Chris says quietly, almost to himself.
“I- oh okay, that’s fine buddy”. Buck says, swallowing his voice crack with a cough.
The awkward moment is broken when Eddie walks into the dinning room.
“Hey what's all this?” Eddie asks.
“Buck made breakfast for us.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I woke up early and decided to get a head start on the day.”
“It's not nothing Buck, you made breakfast for us and it looks delicious.” Eddie says as he kisses Chris' head.
Eddie locks eyes with buck and mouths a quick “thank you” before he grabs a plate and sits down.
After Eddie has eaten a bit, Buck thinks it might be a good time to say something about the plans he had in mind for today.
“Uh, so, I kind of had a stupid idea of what we could do today. I-I know it’s a weird day for both of you and I know with everything that happened recently it hasn’t been something you both have really thought about but i figured since you guys are here maybe we could do something and it’s totally fine if you don’t want to! i just figured it might be-“
“Buck, take a breath.” Eddie says as he smiles fondly at Buck. “Tell us what you had in mind.”
“Right, so I thought maybe we could go to Shannon's grave and plant some flowers for her.” Buck turns to Chris and says, “ you always mentioned how she used to hate bouquets because they would die, so I bought a bunch of different colourful flowers we could plant so she can always have some with her”. Buck stops to take a break and shyly looks at Eddie, seeking approval to this crazy idea.
Eddie takes a shallow breath and looks at Chris who is smiling back at him.
“That sounds like a beautiful idea Buck, thank you.”
Buck lights up. “That's not all! I-I made a picnic so you two so you can sit and catch up with her. I know it’s been an eventful year for you, Chris. I'm sure you have a lot to tell her.”
“A picnic with mom? Yeah I think that could be good”. Chris says trying his best to act nonchalant.
“Alright, we can finish breakfast and leave in 2 hours or so.” Buck gets up and starts cleaning up his plate.
“Could I play a bit of video games with Denny before we go.” Chris smiles at Eddie.
“Sure mijo, only if you take a shower and finish getting ready though.”
“I will!”
Chris leaves the table, visibly happier than he was when he first sat down. Once Chris is gone and Eddie is alone, he takes a deep breath and puts his head in his hands. He tries to calm his breathing the best he can before getting up and cleaning the rest of the table.
Eddie walks into the kitchen and sees Buck cleaning the dishes. He takes a final deep breath and walks up next to Buck, so close their arms are practically touching, yet Buck doesn’t flinch. Eddie takes a moment and just looks at him with a smile on his face.
“Thank you, Buck.”
Buck doesn’t look up, but Eddie is almost certain he can see a small smile creep on his lips.
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“It's not nothing.” Eddie takes another deep breath. “Nothing you ever do is not nothing.”
Buck laughs. “I don't think that makes sense.”
“You know what I mean, Buck. Everything you do means something. I don't know how to thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, it’s noth-“
Eddie cuts him off. “Don’t you dare say it’s nothing.” Eddie places a hand on Buck’s forearm to make him stop doing the dishes. “Look at me, Buck.”,
Buck takes a breath and slowly locks eyes with Eddie.
“You planned all of this for Chris, for us, when I couldn't even come up with an idea. You’re going through so much right now and you still took the time to do all of this for Chris.”
“And you.” Buck says shyly.
Eddie smiles. “And me.”
Everything becomes a bit too real for Eddie in that moment and he takes an instinctive step back while slapping his hands together.
“I think Chris is out of the shower, i’m going to take one quickly, unless you wanna hop in before me”
“It's okay, I showered before everyone woke up.”
Eddie knows he’s being awkward but he doesn’t know why. “Right, okay, I'm gonna go shower.”
“Alright.”. Buck says as he goes back to his dishes.
—-------
Buck drives Chris and Eddie to the cemetery. The drive up is quiet, not awkward, just a bit quiet, which he fully expects from the both of them. He knows how hard of a day this is. It's the first mother’s day that Eddie and Chris are back together. He knows that despite them being on good terms there are still so many unresolved feelings. Add that to the sadness they both feel about spending mother’s day without Shannon, of course it’s going to be quiet.
“Eddie, why don’t you help Chris and I'll prepare everything we need for Shannon”. Buck says as he parks his car.
Eddie smiles. “Right.”. He turns around toward Chris. “You heard buck, let's go see mom.”
Chris smirks. “Let's do this.”
Buck makes sure that Chris and Eddie are out of the car before he starts organizing everything he needs. He makes several mental notes. Dirt, check, gloves, check, shovel, check, pillow for chris’s knees, check, plants, check. Wait, did he already check for the gloves? Yes, yes he did, wait did he? Yes, they are right there. Alright, hopefully I have everything I need.
Buck took all his supplies and made his way towards his boys. He could see Chris leaning into his dad but as he got closer he could hear Eddie talking Chris down from a ledge.
“Mijo, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I left her, I left mom.”
Eddie sighs painfully. “Chris you did not leave her you can never leave her she is always a part of you.”
“No dad, I left her, I left her when I went to Texas and I left you.”
Eddie crouches down to meet Chris at eye level. “Buddy you didn’t leave any of us okay? I left you and I am so sorry, but you did not do a single thing wrong. Your mom wouldn’t think so either. she could never be mad at you, you were her favourite person in the whole world. She loved you so much.”
“She must have been so lonely without me.”
“I made sure to visit her for the both of us.”
Chris throws himself to Eddie and hugs him so tightly. It brings a sad smile to Buck’s face. Eddie slowly rises and notices Buck halted a few meters away, he looks at him and nods for him to approach.
“Hey, I have everything we need! You guys ready to get dirty?” Buck says with his brightest voice.
“Hell yeah!” Chris cheers.
Eddie laughs at his son’s enthusiasm and nods towards Buck to give him the green light. Buck grins and bends down to organize his materials.
“Alright, so I have gloves for you both and I thought that I could get started with making the bed for the flowers.” Buck turns to Chris. “You and your dad can pick what plants you want for your mom.”
“Yeah, okay.” Chris says with a determined look on his face.
Buck laughed to himself. He knew what that face meant. Chris was going to take this task very seriously.
After 15 minutes, Buck seems satisfied with the dirt (he watched several videos about how to make the best dirt bed for these types of flowers). He turns towards Chris and Eddie and finds a very meticulously made line of flower pots and an exasperated Eddie.
“Chris, have you picked the flowers you want?” Buck asks cautiously.
“Yeah, uh, no, I don’t know.” Chris sighs. “It has to be perfect.”
Eddie rubs his hands over his face and places his hands on his thighs. Buck notices his anxious ticks and decides to take the lead.
“Chris I know that you want things to be perfect for your mom but I think that whatever you choose will be perfect, because you picked it for her” Buck tries.
Chris looks up with the most devastating look in his eyes. “I just miss her so much.”
Buck leans towards Chris and places a hand on his shoulder, he thinks he can hear a quiet sob next to him but doesn’t dare to look at Eddie.
“If this is too hard for you buddy we can go home. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”
“No, I want to do this for mom. I have to.”
Buck looks over to Eddie as he forces a sad smile for Buck. “She’s going to love whatever you choose, mijo.” Eddie says.
Chris sighs, “Alright, I think I want these flowers.” He points to 4 Hawaiian sunset hibiscus plants.
“They look like sunsets and mom loved sunsets," Chris chirps.
“Those are perfect, mijo.”
“Alright, Chris, do you want to help me plant them?”
“Yeah!”
The three of them start digging and placing the flowers in front of her grave. After several repositioning, Chris is fully satisfied with their flower bed.
“I think it’s perfect, dad.” Chris beams.
“Yeah, Chris. It looks great, she will love these.”
“Thanks Buck.” Chris says. Buck waves him off.
“It’s nothing, Chris”
Buck is pretty sure heard Eddie scoff.
Buck starts to put everything away to give Eddie and Chris some time to admire the flowers. When he’s done, he turns to them and smirks.
“Are you guys hungry after all that hard work?”
“Yeah, I think we could eat.” Eddie smirks.
“Good! There’s a water hose a few tombstones away, go wash up and I'll get the picnic ready.”
Buck practically runs to the car, buzzing with anticipation. He wants to make this picnic perfect for the both of them. He takes all of his supplies, including two chairs so Chris can sit comfortably and goes to set it all up. By the time Chris and Eddie come back Buck is already gone to his car.
Buck is sitting in his car, reading a book and munching on some carrots. After a few minutes, he gets startled by someone knocking on his window. He looks up to see Eddie staring back at him.
Buck rolls down his window. “What’s up? Is everything okay with the food?”
Eddie laughs. “The food is great, Buck. There’s just one thing missing.”
“Oh my god, what did I forget? I can run to-“
Eddie cuts him off. “It’s you, you’re missing.”
“Oh, I mean I made the picnic for both of you, I never planned on staying.”
“Then, you didn’t plan very well.”
“Eddie, it’s not my place to be there. It’s a day for you two to celebrate Shannon.”
“We can celebrate her with you.”
“But I shouldn’t be.”
“Buck, you are a huge part of both of our lives. She deserves to get to know you too.”
That statement shocks Buck so much that his eyes start to well up. Eddie never ceases to amaze him. He always knows exactly what to say to rip his heart out. However, Buck also knows there’s no use in arguing with him.
“I- alright, I’ll join you guys.”
Eddie takes a step back to let Buck out of the car. He folds his hands over his chest and laughs.
“You really thought we would let you sit here alone.”
“I-I don’t know.” Buck shrugs as he puts his hands in his pockets.
“C’mon you big buffoon, let’s go enjoy this picnic.”
They walk towards Chris and Eddie slows down a bit.
“What’s wrong?” Buck turns to Eddie, worried.
Eddie takes a deep breath, trying to convince himself that he can do hard things, and takes the final few steps that separate him and Buck.
“Eddie what are-“
Buck gets cut off by Eddie’s lips capturing his. It takes about two seconds before Buck’s brain catches up and he’s kissing Eddie back. Before he knows it, Eddie is stepping back with the widest smile on his face.
“God, I’ve been wanting to do that since you realize I didn't fly back to El Paso.” Eddie says with the biggest smirk.
“You’re such a jerk, you know that.” Buck laughs.
“I have been called a dick once or twice.”
“Oh, you’re definitely that too.”
“Okay, don’t get too cocky there Buck.”
“Sorry, I’m in shock and my automatic response is to banter with you.”
“I like that that’s your factory reset.”
“I-me too”
“By the way, I a hundred percent want to do that again. I just feel like scarring Chris when I just got him back might not be my best move.”
“I will, for sure, take you up on that offer.”
“You better”, Eddie chuckles. “Now, I heard this handsome guy made my favourite sandwiches so maybe we should go eat them, before I starve to death.”
“Oh, no. We wouldn’t want that, baby. You get so grumpy when you’re hungry.”
Eddie smiles. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
They walk back towards Chris and they both sit down on the blanket together.
“It took you both long enough, I’m starving.” Chris whines.
“Alright, alright, let’s eat you drama queens.” Buck barks.
Buck takes out all the incredible food that he brought, fruits, vegetables, freshly squeezed orange juice, chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (yes, Eddie’s favourite).
After a lovely little meal and lots of beautiful memories shared between themselves and Shannon, Buck notices that Chris keeps looking at Eddie. Almost as if he’s waiting for something.
“Is something wrong Chris?”, Buck asks cautiously.
Chris smiles and whips his head towards his dad. “Can I pleaseeeee tell him, dad.”
Eddie chuckles. “Good ahead, mijo.”
Buck looks between the two of them, concerned.
Chris finally beams at him, before saying: “We’re moving back to LA, Buck!”
Buck’s jaw drops.
Eddie put a hand on his thigh, trying to ground him. Buck finally snaps out of it and launches himself at Chris.
“Oh my god?? You’re staying?” Buck turns his head towards Eddie, extending his hand in the process . “You’re really staying?”
Eddie squeezes his hand in approval. “We are really staying, Buck.”
Buck quite literally starts giggling and that makes Chris giggle. Eddie just smiles while looking at the two most important people in his life, because this, right now, is home.