Chapter Text
If someone had to choose only one word to describe Abigail Grace Tanner-Langdon, it would be “capable.” Once she set her mind to something, it was only a matter of time before it manifested, laid before her like a reward for her hard work. Be it convincing her parents to let her have an ear piercing at 8, a full scholarship to college at 18, or marrying the brilliant, dashing medical student at 23, what Abby desired—what she worked for diligently and with focus—fell into her hands.
By the time Frank was matched to the highly respected Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center to begin his residency, Abby was pregnant with their son. Frank was with her every moment of her labor and delivery, questioning every medical decision made until Abby told him, in no uncertain terms, to shut the fuck up. She never tired of recounting that story, nor the one about how Frank had burst into tears when little Tanner Franklin was placed in his arms for the first time.
Things got hectic, and Abby lost a little bit of her capability to keep everything in order with a crying baby and a husband working uncertain 12-hour shifts. Then came the second pregnancy, a bit of a surprise but so, so welcome. Their second child was born during a power outage that crippled PTMC, leaving Michael Robinavitch to deliver the baby in a stalled elevator, Frank shouting directions to his mentor and Robby shouting right back that everything was fine and would someone please just give Doctor Langdon a sedative.
Their daughter made her way into the world just as the lights came back on. The name Grace had already been decided upon—Abby hated her name and would never consider giving it to a child—but Michelle was added as her middle name in honor of the man her husband loved as much as his own father.
The Langdon children were no strangers to the ED, where they had myriad aunties and uncles to dote on them. They particularly loved gentle Aunt Samira’s storytelling, Uncle Donnie and his excellent piggyback rides, and of course everything about their beloved Uncle Robby.
It was idyllic.
Until it wasn’t.
Yesterday morning, Abby had awoken to kisses. Last night, she had listened in horror as her husband confessed that he was an addict who had been stealing medications from patients. And now she was standing in the lobby of the detox unit on the hospital’s top floor, watching as her husband was led away.
There was no way to prepare for any of this, no way to take charge of anything. All she could do was co-sign the papers for Frank’s voluntary commitment and promise that she’d take good care of herself and the kids.
When the door closed behind her husband and all her dreams, Abby was faint and nauseous. She knew that Robby was right behind her. She wasn’t certain how she felt about that.
“I’m right here if you need anything, Abby. Anything at all.”
Robby’s voice, normally so soothing, had cracks in it. She wondered if he’d also been up all night, sick with worry, terrified of what lay ahead.
“I don’t know what I need. Or what to do.” She turned toward Robby and allowed him to carefully wrap her in his arms. It felt strange, given Frank’s description of the arguments and cruel words the two of them had shouted at one another. But she would need all the comfort she could muster to help her family survive the next weeks and months.
Robby led her to a nearby office and closed the door softly. He took the chair next to her and turned his so that he was facing her, and he reached for her hands. “We’re going to get him through this.”
Eyes stinging, blood rushing past her ears, Abby shook her head and lowered her gaze. “Why would you even want to?” she asked. “Frank told me about the...the things you said to each other. He thinks you hate him.”
“I don’t—” Robby stopped, ducking so that he could meet Abby’s eyes. “If I’d been in anything like my right mind, I would’ve had Frank under a doctor’s care two minutes after I found the pills. But yesterday—even before finding out, and definitely after the hell that was getting through the Pittfest victims—was the worst day of my life.”
“Mine, too,” Abby hiccupped.
She’d left her children, THEIR children, in The Pitt with Kiara. They could draw pictures of their feelings with Kiara and she’d be gentle as she tried to help them understand that Daddy was sick and would have to be away from them until he got better.
Abby wasn’t certain that she understood that herself.
Robby stroked her hand. “The first 72 hours, he can’t have visitors. They explained that to you, right?” Abby nodded. “I, on the other hand, am listed as one of his doctors so I will, absolutely, be seeing him several times a day. I’m off the next few days anyway, so I might as well do my reading here as anywhere else.”
“That’s kind.” Abby knew that she should expect thoughtfulness from Robby, yet there was that fear in her heart that Frank had gone too far.
If he’d said to her what he’d said to Robby...
“Once he’s stable, he’ll be able to have visitors for one hour a day. Supervised, of course. I don’t know if you’ll want to bring the children; it might be a lot, because he’s going to look pretty awful for the first couple of weeks. But if they draw things, and send videos, and you tell Frank what they’re doing from day to day, I think it will really help to keep his spirits up.”
“Will my spirits ever get back up?” Abby clapped her hand over her mouth, horrified. “I shouldn’t have said that!”
Robby rose, knees creaking a bit after fifteen hours on his feet the previous night, and pulled Abby close to his chest. “I’d be shocked if you didn’t. Nothing that you’re feeling is ‘wrong’ and you should let people know how you feel. People you trust.”
Trust, the way she had always trusted the husband she adored?
But she didn’t say that aloud. Couldn’t, not when Robby’s face was etched with sorrow. Instead, she forced her face into a polite mask and took the hand he offered her. They walked silently to the elevator and stood next to one another, looking straight forward, lost in their own thoughts.
Robby ushered Abby into the family room where her children were waiting. Tanner proudly showed off the sheaf of drawings he “did for Daddy” while little Gracie had fallen asleep on Kiara’s lap.
“Sorry,” Abby whispered as she picked up her daughter. What a welcome weight in her arms as opposed to the one in her heart.
“She’s precious,” responded Kiara with a glance up at Robby.
“It’s taken care of. I’ll be checking on him once he’s settled. Could you go over the next steps with Abby? I have to make sure the department didn’t blow up while I was gone.” He leaned over to kiss the top of Gracie’s head. His smile for Abby wasn’t quite genuine because there was some dark trouble in his eyes, but she appreciated it anyway.
Kiara looked over to where Tanner was drawing, oblivious, then turned back to Abby. “Robby pulled a lot of strings to get your husband placed on medical leave. That way he’ll draw eighty percent of his salary for the ninety days he’s in detox and rehab.”
The brief sense of security Abby felt at those words turned into a cold stone in her stomach when Kiara continued. “It’s a good thing that the board decided on suspension rather than involving law enforcement, but there’s a downside: during the suspension period, Frank’s salary will also be suspended.”
No. No. “For...for how long?”
“The board wanted a year. Robby talked them down to seven months.” Kiara leaned over and put her warm hand on top of Abby’s trembling one. “I know this will be incredibly difficult for you.”
“I haven’t even told Frank’s parents,” Abby whispered. “It all happened so fast. I haven’t worked since Gracie was born, how...” She gasped, words flowing out freeform while her brain scrabbled at something, anything, to hold on to. “Frank’s parents are in assisted living. Mine...well, my parents are both dead now. There’s no one to take care of my children even if I could find a job. I have—I don’t—Oh, God, I don’t know what to do!”
The hand she threw over her mouth wasn’t enough to muffle the wail that came from the depths of her soul. Gracie began to cry in response, and Tanner followed soon after. It was all so loud, so horribly LOUD, and Abby couldn’t tell if she was even breathing anymore.
“We have an assistance program here for our workers and their families. They’ll definitely step up to help,” Kiara assured her, but the words fell at Abby’s feet instead of reaching her ears.
The walls kept closing in on Abby, ever closer and more menacing. Her wonderful husband, his dazzling rise to the top of his field destroyed by his own hand, was locked away. They’d lose the house. The cars. Tanner’s preschool. She’d have to rehome the dog, and how would the children ever forgive her? Her life, the beautiful life she’d worked so hard to create, was vanishing while the walls loomed over her.
By the time she managed to return her daughter to Kiara’s anxious hands, there was nothing left for Abby but to let the walls crush her. They removed all the air and light until all that remained was a black hole, leaving her with one last memory of Frank’s tearful blue eyes as she lost all capability and let the hole take her down.