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John went silent. This was unusual.
‘Walker?’ Bucky asked.
There was silence.
‘Guys, do you have eyes on Walker?’ Bucky asked sharply, wishing more than ever that he was out in the field.
Unfortunately, he was stuck with Bob this mission, back in the Quadjet.
‘No,’ Ava said.
‘He was right behind me five seconds ago,’ Yelena said, sounding confused.
‘I do not see him,’ Alexei added. ‘He must have gone to secure the entrance.’
‘By himself? And you let him?’ Bucky asked sharply.
‘He is stubborn. Like my wife.’
‘Papa, you’re not married,’ Yelena sighed, exasperated. ‘Okay. I swear he was only a few meters behind me five seconds ago. Where the fuck did he go?’
‘I hope we don’t have to do CPR,’ Ava shuddered.
For obvious reasons, Ava was forbidden from doing CPR. She could accidentally rip someone’s heart out.
‘CPR? Is that a twisted version of My Chemical Romance?’ A familiar voice slurred.
Bucky sighed. He’d never thought he’d say this, but he was relieved to hear from that asshole. ‘John! Thank God. Where are you?’
‘I’m everywhere, man,’ John sighed dreamily.
There was a pause.
‘He’s drugged,’ Bob said.
No one questioned him. He had the most experience with those kinds of drugs.
‘How did they even do it?’ Bucky asked, then he sighed. ‘Never mind. We need to find him.’
‘Deep down, we are all syntax error,’ said John knowledgeably.
‘Okay, he’s not going to be much help,’ Yelena noted. ‘Come on, papa. Let’s go find the crackhead.’
‘Don’t!’ John yelled. ‘That’s the smile of an upside down serial killer!!’
Oh, this was going to be prime blackmail material. You know, once all of this was over. And given that John didn’t strangle someone once he was sober before they could use the material.
‘Ava, continue with the infiltration,’ Bucky said tiredly. ‘You’ll be on your own, alright?’
‘Yep. Good luck, guys,’ Ava told them, audibly grinning, before turning her com off.
‘John, do you know where you are?’ Yelena asked.
‘As someone who’s been cannibalized before I can relate to your children’ was John’s answer.
Bucky blinked. ‘Excuse me, what?’
‘One time I got turned into an omelet,’ John added.
‘They’ve got him on the good stuff,’ Bob noted. ‘Meth, maybe?’
‘Methacaine,’ Alexei suggested.
‘That’s not a thing,’ Bob insisted.
‘It doesn’t matter what the drug is. The fact that it’s affecting a super soldier like this is concerning,’ Bucky interrupted. ‘John, are you okay?’
‘Sorry I canonically died thirteen years ago,’ John told them.
‘Never mind. I found him,’ Yelena called out over the com. ‘Jesus fuck, he really took out a lot of them before they got him with the drugs.’
‘Impressive for American,’ Alexei remarked.
‘I’m American too,’ Bucky scowled.
‘You do not count. You are honorary Russian,’ Alexei told him.
‘Two to the one to the one to the three, holy shit what are thee,’ John’s voice said.
‘I’m Yelena. I’m here to help,’ Yelena told him.
John yawned. ‘Okay…’
‘He’s asleep,’ Yelena noted a minute later. ‘We’ll be back soon.’
*
Safe to say, when all was said and done, they would NEVER let John forget this.