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It felt like it had taken half of forever, but things around the mindscape felt...almost sort of right, nowadays. Of course, it was hard for Virgil to put his whole faith in something as fragile as peace—he was always going to be on the lookout for the next disaster on the horizon that would arrive to tear it all down—but they had all worked hard enough for it that, on most days, it didn't feel impossible to believe it.
Even he and Janus had managed to improve things over time. And Virgil had his doubts that their friendship would ever return to the shape it had been before—not that it had ever been easy being friends, not under the circumstances where their friendship had first taken root, but it had still, once, been easier—and enough had changed that their old understanding of what to expect from one another didn't always manage to apply. But at least they had reached the point where, even on their worst days, they could still be in the same room together without the weight of their entire history trying to collapse catastrophically in on itself like a star wanting to explode.
And it was...nice being able to spend time together again, even when it was usually just coexisting in the same space while they each were focused on their own thing. Even if it was fully quieter than it used to be—neither of them as willing as they once were to interrupt the silence to share jokes or comments about their own pursuits, and there was a lot less of their former banter when they did—it was still familiar enough to have become comfortable again.
(He had never said it outright, nor had Janus ever so much as implied the sentiment himself, but...looking back, Virgil thought that a lot of the venom they spat at one another after their initial falling out had come from trying to hide just how much they had actually missed the other, when neither of them had been willing to admit it to themselves.)
Of course, these days it was often more than just the two of them quietly vibing together. Years ago, before he made the leap, anyone who told him that he would find it in himself to tolerate, let alone appreciate Logan's company could have expected him laughing in their face in return. And after, once he and Logan had grown to be friends, anyone trying to pose to Virgil that Janus would ever come to feel the same about the logical side would have been treated to a disbelieving—and derisive—scoff.
And yet, here they were—all three of them—and with the return to something vaguely resembling his and Janus's former habits, Logan had slid effortlessly into that space as if the gap had always been there.
It was nice.
It was nice, Virgil kept insisting to himself, even if it was also starting to feel...weird. Awkward. Because even outside these comfortable chill sessions, Janus and Logan were talking. And hanging out. They were definitely talking and hanging out a lot more than he and Janus ever did anymore, and while he still had his share of quality time spent alone with Logan—mostly in the form of the latest hastily constructed puzzle he had managed to scrape together—something about the time that Janus and Logan were spending together felt...more secretive. More private-
He hadn't dared say anything, but...Virgil was pretty sure that Logan and Janus were developing feeling for each other. Romantic feelings. If they weren't actually together already. He really wouldn’t have put it past either of them to want to keep their forming relationship a secret—Logan until he was secure in the feelings he still wasn't always comfortable admitting he had, and Janus perhaps out of some similar fear, or even just for the pure, perverse joy he derived from having a secret to keep. But whether they were there already or still working on it, either way, Virgil was happy for them...
Even if it did feel a little lonely from the outside.
He tried not to feel that way. It really wasn't fair, after all, was it? He and Janus had been...close, once, and while Virgil hadn't been solely to blame for all the reasons that had changed, he had, ultimately, been the one to give up and walk away. He was lucky just to have what they did now after all the bad blood they'd had to wade through in order to get there. And after he had left, after he had come and thrown himself in front of the spotlight and in front of Thomas, Logan had been...if not the first one to extend a hand, then definitely the first one that Virgil had felt was making the effort to properly understand him—to meet him where he was at and not demand more.
And now Janus was back in his life and Virgil had both of them—but they also had each other, and they were blessed to have the chance to cultivate something new in fresh earth that wouldn't strangle its roots on the old bones buried there.
He was happy for them, even if it hurt.
Of course, knowing that...whatever it was they were getting up to together, it would be easier for them to do it without his hanging around to get in the way of it, Virgil had tried to make himself scarce. He started making excuses to wander off to his room or sought out one of the others for company instead so that the two of them could have more time to themselves. He wasn't running—he really wasn't, he just...wanted them to have the space they needed.
But he thought he might have overdone it just a bit—pulled away too obviously—because they had both made a visible effort to try to include him more often, and boy was that starting to make things difficult.
Vigilance was Virgil's whole job, but Logan was hardly a slouch in that department—both persistent and focused. If he wanted to find someone for whatever reason, they had better be well and truly hidden if there was any hope to escape his search. And if you made an excuse it had to be something that he couldn't easily help you with, because when Logan was truly determined nothing would stand in his way. And it was even harder coming up with excuses that could get him away from Janus, because if you were lying he'd just know...so Virgil always had to have a couple of chores or other distractions waiting in his back pocket if he had any hopes of escape.
And it felt more than a little silly, thinking of it that way—as escape, because again, he really wasn't running—but what else was he supposed to call it when they kept setting up traps to bait him in? Because Virgil definitely knew a trap when he saw one.
The True Crime marathon they invited him to join? A trap.
A Diplomacy game night for just the three of them? Both a trap and the most cutthroat and nerve-wracking board game experience of his life.
Inviting him to watch a documentary on the evolution of spiders? Such an obvious trap that Virgil was low-key embarrassed to have still fallen for it. Well, "falling for it" implied he had been fooled—he hadn't, he had just...wound up going along with it anyway.
The mystery book club to see who could figure out the killer first would have been a tempting one... (It had been shot down on the grounds that neither Virgil or Logan trusted Janus not to cheat by peeking at the end.)
Which brought him to their latest and arguably most dastardly trap yet.
A night time picnic out in the imagination. Again, just for the three of them. A blanket on the grass, a plate of snacks, a bottle of wine shared without glasses, and simple conversation beneath the stars. It almost felt like a date...
Except that Virgil was there.
And Virgil felt something uncomfortable begin to twist itself up in his stomach, because this felt like it was crossing a line. More than any other trap they had set for him, this felt like too much. Because it should have been Logan that Janus was cuddled up to once the night started to turn cold, and it should have been Janus's legs that Logan's head was resting on as he lay back to look at the stars. And maybe it also felt nice—really, really nice—knowing that they apparently wanted him there, but it still wasn't fair to either one of them...
And, unfortunately, the feeling was big enough that his thoughts managed to escape him in a sudden rush before he had time for proper consideration.
"I love you guys, but you know it'd be a better date without me, right?"
The effect of his words on the other two was immediate—the sudden, stiff and uncomfortable twitch of the arms that Janus had snuck around him in his search for warmth, the way Logan sat up at attention, looking sharply at both of them. And the silence, in those first few moments, was unnervingly tense, to the point where Virgil was starting to feel like he might throw up if something didn't get said very soon. But Logan and Janus had shared a brief look, one that seemed to communicate some very specific question between them. One that apparently Logan was the first to answer.
"We aren't dating," Logan said, very simply.
"Oh," Virgil said, suddenly he felt very foolish. "Sorry, I guess I assumed-"
"We're not dating yet," Janus clarified then.
Despite that clarification, Virgil was decidedly more confused, not less.
"What?"
"Indeed," Logan confirmed. "Though both of us are interested in pursuing a relationship eventually, by mutual agreement we decided to wait until more ideal conditions were met."
"Again, huh?"
"We were waiting for you," Janus said.
And Virgil's thoughts stalled just then, but he also found himself crushingly aware of the fact that, through all of this, Janus hadn't pulled his arms away.
"Both of us harbor romantic feelings for you as well," Logan explained, "and we had hoped to ask whether you would be interested in a relationship with one or both of us alongside the one that Janus and I were hoping to begin. We were simply waiting for the right time."
The words all had meaning, one that Virgil was able to piece together slowly, but that wasn't the same as them making sense.
"I don't...get it," Virgil managed slowly. "Why wait?"
He wasn't ready to even think about the rest of it, but that question felt important.
"We didn't want to risk spoiling our chances," Janus said. "It felt like if we came to you as an already established item that you might be reluctant to join us. That you might feel as if you were barging in and let that get in your way..."
Beside him, Janus sucked in a sudden breath.
"Though you didn't need to hear the offer to decide you were in the way, did you?" Janus asked softly. "That's why you were pulling away..."
Janus's hold tightened lightly around him, briefly enough that it felt almost involuntary. Virgil felt his throat tighten as well, and Logan let out a sigh.
"I told Roman he wasn't 'playing hard to get'..." Logan mused tiredly.
"Roman?"
"He sensed our intentions and insisted on offering his advice," Logan said. "He seemed convinced that you felt the same way, but considering his error regarding the reasons behind your avoidant habits, I'm reluctant now to assume."
Virgil hesitated.
"I mean...I guess maybe he's not wrong," Virgil found himself saying. "I just really hadn't thought about it?"
And wasn't that just a fun realization to make in the very same breath as you were saying it.
Virgil felt Janus inhale slowly before the other leaned in close, resting his chin on Virgil's shoulder.
"I think we'd both like it very much if you would think about it," Janus said lowly.
Virgil felt his face starting to warm.
"I- I'll think about it."
And Logan seemed pleased enough with that answer that he lay back down, returning his head to its resting place on Virgil's thighs and his gaze to the night sky. But Virgil felt Janus's arms shift their hold around him, moving into a proper embrace. His hold was deliberately loose and gentle in a way that somehow managed to express his desire that it be anything but.
"Even if the answer is no," Janus said, his words falling into a whisper, "even if it is just Logan and me going forward... You don't get to walk away again. Not now, not from us. I forbid it."
And his words were gentle too, trying for levity that even he couldn't manage to feign.
"I won't J," Virgil was quick to say. "I promise."
And maybe Virgil wasn't ready to give it just yet, but he was pretty sure he knew his answer already.