Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A sigh escaped Meryl’s lips as she watched his back, cherry red and covered in dirt and haphazardly repaired tears and bullet holes, begin to disappear. Her insides felt tight and cold all at once. Every little thing she wanted to tell him that threatened to pour out over the last few weeks suddenly became gummy in her throat.

He already knew what she wanted to say.

Even after the last hint of red had gone, Meryl was still watching. Maybe, if she were lucky, it would be over in an instant, and he’d come rushing back. He’d come rushing back and…

Meryl had no real idea what would come next. The scene in her head made her blush until it felt as though she was running a fever. And… Well… Meryl couldn’t help but feel a little bit of shame she’d even thought of it. The exchange minutes before could have been some final goodbye. And Meryl said nothing honest. Only quiet, stumbling platitudes.

Maybe that was for the best. Maybe he didn’t need to know about the silly, frivolous thoughts in her head. If it was goodbye for real this time, then what would all of these feelings even do for him? Meryl didn’t want to guilt trip him into staying for her. 

That wasn’t what she wanted. And after everything, Vash deserved better.

The wind started to pick up, making Meryl’s arms prick up with goosebumps. Her bangs blew into her face. Impulsively, Meryl scrunched her eyes closed to swipe them away. She didn’t want to open them again. Then all of this would be real. 

“Meryl?”

With another heavy sigh, Meryl opened her eyes and turned back to the front door. Milly lingered in the doorway, her usual wistful grin nervous. Whatever brave face she put on while she was giving Vash the Punisher was gone. Meryl looked at her expectantly. 

“Are you okay?”

Nodding, Meryl forced the words out. “I don’t see why I shouldn’t be.”

“Well… Mr. Vash just… You know.” Milly wrung her hands together. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

Milly’s expression fell. She glanced around, almost as if she were embarrassed by what she said and the associated assumptions. “Nothing, ma’am. You have work today, right?”

“Yeah,” Meryl hummed. Her shoulders slumped as she looked back at the desert. His footprints were gone. It was as though he had never been there. She hugged her arms around herself tightly. She could blame it on the wind. She looked back at Milly. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work by now?”

“I wasn’t feeling all that well,” the taller woman explained. “And I wanted to say goodbye to Mr. Vash too.”

“Your crew lead doesn’t mind?”

Milly shrugged. “He doesn’t. Besides, there's more than enough people to help out.”

“What about the water vein?”

“They’re still waiting on a drill from November.”

A sharp breeze pulled Meryl’s attention back to the desert. There was nothing there to greet her. Just emptiness. 

“I guess…There’s nothing left to do but wait then.”

…

Time had very little meaning anymore. 

Meryl had counted the days in the beginning. Each and every one. And then she stopped. At some point, there was no meaning anymore. Vash was still gone. There was no sign he had ever been here.

He never said if he was coming back. 

She knew better than to hang on so tightly. It was only making her feel emptier and emptier as time wore on. Just like the desert had been when she watched his stupid, cherry red coat recede into the horizon. And before Meryl knew it, an entire month had passed. 

Body feeling weighed down with lead, Meryl laid in bed, staring at the texture on the ceiling. Sunlight poured in through the curtains. The room was silent. 

Milly had gotten up hours before. Meryl envied the energy her friend was able to muster up. But even Milly’s resolve was waning by now. Some days Meryl wondered why Milly had stayed at all. She had a home and a family away from this little town. She wasn’t obligated to stay in the middle of nowhere while Meryl languished over some cockroach she would likely never see again. Was Milly even happy here?

If she worked up the courage to ask, Meryl would only receive that same answer wrapped up in saccharine sweet positivity. The smile on Milly’s face was always strained. 

So instead, Meryl continued to lay on the bed. Her mind continued to spin. At some point, the alarm clock next to her head started blaring. Frustration– over what, Meryl wasn’t sure– boiled up from the pit of her stomach as she slammed the sleep button. 

She was going to be late for work. And work was the only thing keeping her head above sand. It was busy and difficult and maddening and she could focus on that. 

Meryl nearly shrieked as her feet hit the cold floor and she scrambled for the light green diner uniform she had tossed on the floor the night before. As far as uniforms went, it wasn’t the worst she had to wear. At least the older woman who owned the diner had merciful taste. Not that it stopped drunk customers from being handsy. Meryl could be wearing a nun’s habit and people would still harass her. 

Putting the thought out of her head, Meryl combed quickly through her hair and began her trek out of the house. 

She waved absentmindedly to Milly on her way out. Milly had been sitting at the table, looking rather green. But she got up anyway to stop Meryl before she was gone. 

“Meryl?”

“Mills, I’ve got to go. I’m already late,” Meryl said apologetically. She paused, studying Milly’s face.  “You’re not looking too good…”

Milly frowned, “I know. Just, um… I need to tell you something…”

Meryl tried not to look annoyed. Whatever was on Milly’s mind was eating her up. Or not. Suddenly the color drained from Milly’s face, and she sprinted back into the kitchen, hovering over the trash can. Meryl wasted no time in following and holding back her hair. She rubbed Milly’s back until her stomach was empty. 

“Feeling any better?”

“Sort of.” Milly shuddered and slid onto the floor with her back against the counters. Meryl kneeled next to her. “Meryl?”

“Uh huh?”

 “I think I might be pregnant.”

Chapter Text

The diner was nearly empty. 

Which was an anomaly given it was the middle of the lunch service. Meryl absentmindedly wiped down a spotless table. At least she looked busy. But the break was nice. Breaks were always nice, even if it was just a few slow minutes at work. 

Meryl’s back arched in a languid stretch. Joints clicked and popped back into place, but the tension she’d been carrying over the last two months refused to abate. In a desperate attempt to keep herself distracted, Meryl had thrown herself into working. Of course, waitressing wasn’t something she’d ever done before arriving at LR, but it was easy to get the hang of. 

Taking care of Milly was a good motivator. Even nearing the end of her first trimester, it was already fairly obvious. Then again, it had been two months since Milly’s diagnosis. 

That meant she had been waiting in LR for two months. There had been no sign of him. 

Not yet.

Meryl wished she didn’t care. 

Recognizing that she was about to spiral, Meryl went back to wiping tables. She heard Agatha humming along with a radio in the kitchen. The old woman was probably just as antsy as she was. This was her business after all. The other waitress was sitting at the bar in the back of the dining room. 

The tension was reaching a breaking point in Meryl’s chest. It felt as though something was rumbling under her feet. She looked up. Nothing was moving. Her gaze never moved from the window. 

Agatha poked her head out of the kitchen. Meryl could almost feel her staring holes through her neck. “Meryl? Honey? You went all quiet.”

“I, uh…” Meryl trailed off. The anxiety in her chest was growing. Agatha came up next to her, placing an arm on Meryl’s shoulder. Meryl’s face twisted up into a frown. “Feels like something’s about to happen.”

“You’re probably just paranoid.”

Meryl was about to open her mouth to say something, but then she heard indecipherable yells down the road. Her body went rigid for a moment, while her hand went to her hip only to find nothing there. Her nerves felt electric. 

Then came the boom and the diner shook. 

The first thing Meryl noticed was the smell. Cool and wet and refreshing. Then, the sound of the other waitress bursting into a sprint. But Meryl’s eyes still never left the window.

“Liza! Where are you going?”

“They hit water! Ned’s gonna be rich!”

“What?”

“I quit!” 

With that, Meryl and Agatha watched the woman run off. The shouts showed no signs of quieting. Agatha looked back to Meryl, arching a brow. Meryl gulped. The feeling of something rushing at her hadn’t gotten better. With a shuddering breath, Meryl went outside. 

Down the road, Meryl saw the spout of water towering above the meager skyline of LR. Even from hundreds of feet away, Meryl could feel droplets of mist hit her face. Cool and wet and refreshing. A smile grew on her face. 

Her heart continued to pound. And part of Meryl wanted to run away even when there was nothing discernable making her feel this way. 

“Meryl! Are you seeing this?”

On the other side of the spout, Meryl spotted Milly. She was soaked and grinning. Meryl could almost feel the energy buzzing off of her. It was infectious. Meryl sprinted to meet Milly, nearly tripping in mud puddles.

“This is amazing! Do you know what this means?” Milly shouted as she caught Meryl in a tight bear hug. 

“Milly! You’re strangling me.”

Muttering an apology, Milly pulled back to allow her friend to breathe. “There’s water, Meryl!”

“There is!” Milly pulled her into another hug and tried to lift her friend. Meryl shrieked. “Milly! You’re not supposed to be lifting heavy things!”

“Psh. You’re not heavy,” Milly retorted. “You know what this means though?”

“No? What?”

“We’re going to be okay! Everything is going to be okay.”

Meryl’s chest heaved as she sucked in a breath. Her hair clung to her face and got water in her eyes. It felt good. Meryl laughed. They were going to be okay.

A few seconds later Meryl caught sight of something in the distance over Milly’s shoulder. Her blood went cold as her attention lingered. The thing in the distance was coming closer. Meryl’s heart pounded as she watched.

“Meryl?”

She didn’t answer. Her eyes went wide when she realized it was a person. They were tall and gangly and weighed down by a heavy load over their shoulder. Wiggling free from Milly’s hold, Meryl stumbled as she began to run forward. Her mind spun.

“Meryl!”

She didn’t stop running.

Not until she could make out the features of his face. Her feet were now glued to the sand as the figure approached. Her heart swelled.

A smile grew on his face when he finally stopped in front of her. His mouth opened and closed as though he had something to say. But no words seemed to come. All he could do was grin.

Meryl let go of a shuddering breath. “You’re… You’re–.”

Before Meryl could get the words out, Milly nearly bowled her off her feet, taking Vash into a crushing hug. The load– a person dressed in a dusty white and red jumpsuit– slipped from his grasp. Vash scrambled to keep them from falling to the ground, breaking Milly’s hug in the process. 

“Mr. Vash! You’re back! You got here at the exact right moment too!”

Vash laughed nervously, looking lost. “What?”

“We hit water!”

Meryl stopped paying attention and craned her neck to see who this stranger was. What she found was a familiar face. He looked just like Vash. The same heavy lashes and pointy nose. His beauty mark was under his right eye. His hair was just as dark as hers, though with a stripe of platinum at his temple. Meryl went cold as her eyes lingered on him. 

“Vash?” Meryl started hesitantly. “Who is this?”

Vash suddenly looked serious. “My brother. Look… I know it’s a lot, but he’s injured and we–”

“Of course you’re staying here!” Milly interrupted. Vash and Meryl stared as Milly knelt down and picked the comatose man up into a bridal carry. “You two just got back, and you’re hurt and tired. Let’s get you inside.”

A sigh escaped Meryl’s lips as she watched Milly walk off with Vash’s brother. She turned to look at Vash over her shoulder. He looked exhausted with his shoulder slumped and sweat beading on his forehead. The bottom half of his hair was black. Just like his brother’s. “Are you okay?” Meryl asked quietly.

Vash grinned uneasily, “Yeah. Let’s go. I have a lot to explain.”

…

Meryl couldn’t believe it. Vash was sitting at the kitchen table. After two months of nothing, this felt like a dream. At some point, Meryl would wake up and feel nothing but chilling disappointment. 

But here he was. 

He was slumped in the chair while Meryl cleaned out and disinfected the countless cuts and scrapes and bullet holes he collected over the course of the last two months. The strange under armor he left in was peeled off and lying discarded on the floor. He whined incessantly that he was fine and didn’t have to take it off, but Meryl knew better. Besides, she’d seen his wreck of a body before. The whining abated slowly while Meryl worked.

Meryl wanted to say something other than pointed instructions. The words still couldn’t seem to form. 

“So…” Vash started, “I didn't really think you and Milly would still be here.”

Meryl grimaced, looking up, “Why wouldn’t we–” 

She stopped when she heard Milly come into the room. She gestured to one of the chairs, giving her a pointed glance. Milly looked exhausted after taking care of Vash’s nameless brother. Thankfully Milly didn’t fight her and melted into her chair. Her hands rested on the slight swell of her belly, and she watched as Meryl continued to clean up Vash.

“You’ve been gone for a long while, Mr. Vash!”

“I guess so! Time really got away from me.”

“That’s just like you. But you’re here now.”

Whatever Vash was about to say was interrupted by a wince. “Can’t you be any more gentle?”

“I will when you stop squirming,” Meryl retorted. “It’s hard to put in stitches while you keep moving.”

“Evil!” Vash whined. “In any case, you guys don’t mind if Knives–”

“Knives?”

“My brother.”

Meryl tried to stifle a laugh. Milly didn’t bother. “Who names a child Knives?”

Vash continued to pout. “Does it matter? Anyways, I don’t know when Knives is going to wake up. He lost the fight. But he definitely didn’t come with me willingly.”

“Most comatose people don’t,” Meryl interjected. That got a laugh out of Vash.

He wiped a stray tear from the corner of his eyes, “Yeah, really. But, it’s going to take him a long time to heal up. I think something happened out there. Whatever power reserves we had are mostly gone now.”

Meryl’s stomach twisted, trying to think of what that meant. Vash had explained, but Meryl was under the impression that he hadn’t told her everything. She kept quiet.

“He can’t hurt people then?” Milly asked.

Vash shrugged, “I don’t know. But I don’t want to take any chances. I’m not letting him out of my sight. I just… You two aren’t obligated to help us. Especially Knives. What he did was heinous, to put it lightly. Bringing him into society may as well be next to impossible. I’m aware that this is a lot.”

“We’ll try to help in any way we can,” Milly reassured softly.  “Right, Meryl?”

Both Milly and Vash stared at Meryl. She didn’t like the sudden attention. Meryl felt her cheeks flush a bit and hoped they didn’t notice as she looked down at her hands. ”I’m with Milly. I– We want to help you, Vash.”

From the corner of her eye, Meryl saw a soft smile grow on Vash’s face. She looked away and continued cleaning up bullet holes.

“But what’s been happening with you two?” Vash asked. “A lot can happen in two months.”

Meryl and Milly exchanged a glance before Milly patted her belly. “A lot has happened!” she said cheerily.

Vash looked at Milly with ample confusion. It took almost a full minute of staring before the confusion morphed into surprise. “You’re pregnant?” Vash exclaimed excitedly. Milly was suddenly all smiles. He took her hands and held onto them tightly. Meryl had to get out of the way before she got squished. “Milly! That’s amazing! How far along are you?”

“Three or so months.”

Meryl cringed when she watched Vash try to do the math. “Wait… whose baby is it?”

“Nick’s!”

The color drained from Vash’s face. Meryl’s heart dropped watching him. The tension was nearly unbearable now. “Nick? Do you mean Wolfwood?”

Milly was still smiling, taking one of her hands back. “Yep.”

Vash chuckled dryly. There was a nervous smile on his face, as though he was trying to convince himself he was happy rather than disturbed by the news. “I, uh, didn’t realize you two…”

“We kept it quiet. Besides, there was so much going on.”

“Ah, yeah. That’s… on me…” Vash said dejectedly. Milly rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand in an effort to comfort him. It didn’t seem to do much. But Vash tried. “I’m really happy for you, Milly. I really am.”

“Thank you, Mr. Vash. Here, I should leave you two to it. I’ll see you in a bit. And Meryl? I’ll see you after work tonight.”

With that, they watched Milly disappear back upstairs. Meryl went back to shuffling through their diminishing first aid kit. She would have to restock sooner rather than later. Especially since Vash was… Vash. 

“That was… unexpected,” Vash said quietly.

Meryl nodded and turned back to him. “Yeah. I was shocked too. Are you okay?”

Vash looked at her, eyes wide and apprehensive. “Okay with what?”

“He was your best friend,” Meryl said.

The plant sighed and slumped in his seat. He rested his forearms flat on his thigh and wrung his hands. “I won’t lie, I didn’t realize there was so much I missed back then. But I really am happy for her.”

Meryl nodded, “Me too, Vash.”

“What about you, though? You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Huh?” Meryl looked down to see Vash grinning at her. She’d seen that expression before. He was about to start teasing her. “What do you mean quiet?”

Vash tilted his head. “I dunno. There must’ve been things you got up to while I was gone.”

She didn’t really know what to say as she finished cleaning Vash up. She couldn’t imagine being honest. 

The smile on Vash’s face turned mischievous. “Come on, insurance girl! There had to have been something you’ve been doing for the last two months.” He placed a hand on Meryl’s arm to keep her close. “Meryl?”

The seconds that passed felt like an eternity.

Meryl absentmindedly placed her hand against his temple. Her fingers began to card ever so slightly through his hair, admiring the new color at the nape of his neck. It looked just like hers. Her heart raced when Vash’s eyes closed and he leaned into her palm. 

Meryl suddenly pulled her hand away, her anxiety cresting. Vash’s eyes shot open, and he looked back at her. She couldn’t read what he was thinking. That scared her.

“I… have to get back to work.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot.”

“You forgot that I have a job?” Meryl teased softly. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice how flustered she felt.

“You’re always working. I thought that maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

Vash’s expression fell. “I just got back.”

“I know,” Meryl gulped. “But…”

Neither of them could finish a sentence. Biting the inside of her cheek, Meryl studied his face for a little while longer. Part of her was terrified he was going to disappear. 

But he didn’t.

“You’ll see me,” Meryl reassured. “Don’t worry.”

She tried not to think too hard as Vash nodded. It made her feel so empty and chilly. But, with nothing left to say, Meryl left.

…

Two whole weeks passed. 

Although the excitement of the new water vein died down, the town was working around the clock to make sure everyone had water. Management was the new priority. And that meant that Milly was now working a less labor-intensive job. The relief in the house was palpable. 

Knives woke up, dazed and confused and rageful, at the end of the first week. Vash was right there with him when he came to. Immediately, Knives tried to summon anything to enact vengeance. All he found was disappointment as he summoned sad pin feathers. He remained despondent for a long while. Vash tried to be gentle as he explained their new reality. For the time being, it seemed as though Knives understood. 

What came next was making sure that Knives was healthy enough to move around. He whined and moaned each time Vash tried to move him. Fortunately, Milly offered to help. Vash was surprised to learn that she had a lot of experience with physical therapy. 

Things were looking up. Vash was able to relax a little bit for the first time in… decades. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He always had some sort of goal he was chasing after. 

It was hard to believe he finally found some sort of peace. 

But…

In the time since his return, Vash barely saw Meryl.

There were hints of her all over the house. Dinner prepared before she left for an evening shift. The sound of the shower early in the morning. Indistinct conversations between her and Milly. The flash of raven hair and bright gold earrings. 

He hung onto every little instance. Vash… missed her. 

He was worried about her. 

At one point, Vash overheard a conversation between her and Milly when she came back close to midnight. 

“You’re not looking all that well, ma’am.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry too much.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to take a break.”

Meryl stayed silent for a long moment. Then she sighed and it sounded as though she was carrying the world on her shoulders. “I know. It's just… we need the cash for rent and food and medical supplies. Vash and Knives are still trying to figure out what is going on. Besides,” Meryl paused and glanced at Milly's abdomen, “We’re going to have another mouth to feed soon enough.”

Milly frowned, “I know, Meryl.”

“That doesn’t even count in the cost of getting everything else. Babies are expensive.”

“I’m sure we can ask around town for a lot of what I need.”

There was a pause. “I’m sorry, Milly. I’m really happy for you. I really am. But you shouldn’t have to worry. If anything you should be resting more. Leave everything to me, okay?”

“Meryl… What about you?”

“It’ll be okay, Milly. I promise.”

“That doesn’t necessarily make me feel any better…” Milly trailed off glumly. 

With that, Vash went back to his room and sat curled up in on himself in the corner. He felt suddenly useless. It crawled and nested on his shoulders for days. Vash made sure the house was spotless but even that didn’t seem to scrub the feeling away. Going on a walk sometimes helped but only rarely.

It was after one of these midday walks that his perceived inadequacy reached a peak. He felt Knives panicking well before their house came into view. Vash broke into a sprint despite the ache in his legs. 

The rickety door slammed open and Vash had to slow as he moved through the house. 

“Vash!”

The plant burst into the kitchen and his heart broke. Knives huddled on the floor, standing over Meryl. She was out cold, still dressed in her uniform. Vash wasn’t thinking as he knelt next to Meryl. “What did you do?”

“Me? Nothing! She did this to herself!”

Meryl’s breath was shallow and quick. There was a sweaty sheen on her forehead and the back of her neck. Vash placed the back of his hand to her skin. Meryl was burning up. His heart fell, looking at the tiny woman on the white tile floor of the kitchen. Had she always been that small? How long had she been sick? Why didn’t he notice before?

“Don’t you dare get on my ass about something I had nothing to do with!”

Vash sniffed, holding back a flood of thick emotions. Knives was right; he hadn’t done anything to Meryl this time around. But Vash had. He should have been more aware. And now Meryl looked like death on the floor. 

She groaned weakly when Vash scooped her into his arms and began to take her upstairs. Her and Milly’s room was at the far end of the house. Vash had to ignore the feeling of dread that came with invading their space. But Meryl needed help. Assuming the clean side of the room was Meryl’s, Vash tucked her into bed. 

There was a dwindling first aid kit under the bathroom sink. It had a few tablets of ibuprofen and a thermometer. Everything else had been pretty much cleared out on him and Knives. 

Guilt curdled in Vash’s stomach. 

He pushed the feeling away and went back to Meryl, grabbing a glass of water on the way. Her eyes were barely open, glazed over with disorientation. She turned her head with a grimace to face him. Meryl stared at his face a moment too long for comfort before her voice cracked. “Vash? How did I get here?”

Vash placed his supplies on the cluttered bedside table and sat down on the mattress next to Meryl. He watched her take the pills and start to get up again. Vash pushed her gently back down by the shoulder.

“Where in the world do you think you’re going?”

Meryl still had that delirious look in her eyes. “I have to get to work.”

“What? Why?”

“We need the money, Vash. I need to make sure I can take care of everyone.”

Vash’s heart tightened. She had been doing so much over the last… Well… Meryl had always filled her plate to the brim. He admired her tenacity. But this was too much, even for her. And she did it all for them. 

He hated this feeling. 

“Just get some rest for me, okay?”  Vash asked gently as he kept a hand on Meryl’s shoulder. “You’re not going to be able to get anything done in the state you’re in.”

She must have been delirious because Meryl didn’t put up a fight. Her eyes closed after another moment. Vash let himself relax a hair while her breathing evened. But the fever wasn’t going to abate anytime soon. He rested a hand on hers. Her skin was rougher and there were calluses on the pads of her fingers. 

He shouldn’t have let Meryl run herself into the ground. 

Vash rubbed roughly at his face to wipe away a few stray tears. He had to do something. Anything. He took a deep breath in and tried to steady himself. His eyes flickered back over to Meryl. An idea came to him. He didn’t think it would work. But it was something.

Chapter Text

Agatha’s Diner was an aged, two story building on the main street of LR, placed between a side street and the meager post office. The outside facade was covered in sunbleached, peeling yellow paint with what was once white trim. The windows were old and in need of a wiping down. But despite the apparent grime, the restaurant gave off a warm, welcoming atmosphere. 

Vash still felt nervous as he took the stairs two at a time. The creaking noise of the door opening only made his nerves more frayed. The dining room he now found himself in was more well cared for than the exterior. The room was open and filled with wooden tables topped with various napkins and condiments. There was a bar against the back wall, wiped down to a gleam. Various taps and liquor bottles lined the wall behind the bar. Framed paintings and photographs hung on the walls. The smell of cooking food permeated the space. There was no one there. 

After waiting for a moment for someone to notice him, Vash peeked through the kitchen door. 

Finding the room empty, Vash stepped inside to snoop. It looked almost identical to every other kitchen he’d been in. There was a large fridge in the corner and prep stations and stove stops. The pantry at the back was well organized and stocked. Pots and pans hung from racks, easily accessible. 

On the stove top was a large stock pot set to a simmer. Vash walked over and lifted the lid, nearly salivating when he saw the cut up vegetables and potatoes sommering in a deep red stew. He was tempted to find a fork and start eating ingredients right out of the pot.

“Excuse me? Sir?”

Vash spun on his heel to come face to face with a short older woman. She was wearing a stained apron and her gray hair was tied back in a tight braid. Her expression was pulled back in an unimpressed frown. 

It was almost as though he was looking at Meryl several decades down the line. He didn’t know how he felt about that. Mostly embarrassment. 

The woman rolled her eyes. “If you want food, please go find a seat in the dining room and I’ll be with you in a moment. Things are a little slow this week.”

‘Oh, uh…” Vash stumbled. “I’m not a customer.”

“You’re not? I don’t have any deliveries scheduled until next week.”

Vash tried not to deflate. “I’m not a delivery man either.”

“Then who are you?”

“So… My name is Vash–”

“Oh!“ The woman perked up, “You’re the fella that lives with Meryl. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Yes. Yes, I am,” Vash said through clenched teeth. “I just wanted to let you know that Meryl got sick. Nothing serious. But she’s going to be at home a few more days. Probably not smart having her work in a restaurant while she's sick.”

The older woman sighed. “Well, that’s a shame. Tell her to take her time getting better. Meryl’s probably the best worker I’ve had in a long time.”

Vash smiled a bit. “She is a really hard worker. Sometimes it gets her into trouble!”

A soft smile grew on the woman’s face. “I have gotten that impression.” She paused and went back to her simmering pot. She stirred the mixture once then placed her ladle on the counter. “If you wait a moment, I can whip something up to take back.”

Lingering in the kitchen, Vash watched the old woman flit around gathering ingredients. “There was actually an idea I wanted to run by you, ma’am...”

“You can call me Agatha.”

“Agatha,” Vash started again. “I was hoping to run an idea by you.”

She paused, looking over her shoulder with narrowed eyes. 

Pushing the nervousness back, Vash continued. “So, we both know that Meryl is working… maybe a little too hard. And there's a whole plethora of reasons why she thinks she has to.” Vash cringed when he saw Agatha grimace. “But I’m not doing anything much. And I want to help her. Pull my weight sort of. So…”

“Are you asking me for a job?” Agatha asked, placing her hands on her hips. 

“Yes.”

The following silence made Vash’s chest tighten more and more with each passing moment. Agatha’s gaze dropped to the floor as she thought. Then with a sudden sigh, she found Vash’s eyes again. He tried not to squirm. 

“Have you worked in a restaurant before?” she asked seriously. 

Vash nodded, “I’ve waited tables. Cooked. Washed dishes. Pretty much everything.”

“More than Meryl when she applied,” Agatha said under her breath. “What were you doing before this?”

Hunting down my genocidal twin brother to bring him to justice for crashing the colony ships and stranding everyone on this hell planet? Getting shot at every ten minutes for no reason other than I’m bad at helping people? Watching everyone I’ve remotely cared about get churned into a bloody pulp and die?

“Odd jobs?” Vash said with a fair amount of uncertainty.

Agatha cackled. “We can go with that. Though, if I recall, you look just like a certain gentleman who's been plastered on wanted posters for years now. But, I won’t say anything.”

Anxiety still clung to Vash’s shoulders as Agatha recomposed herself. “So, do I have the job?”

“Sure. Why not? It’s just been Meryl and I since Liza quit. We can put you on a trial period for the rest of the week and we can go from there.” Agatha paused again, tapping a finger to chin as she looked Vash up and down. He tried not to squirm under the attention. “I think I might have a uniform that could fit…”

“Uniform?”

She spun on her heel, turned the stove off, and motioned for Vash to follow her upstairs. “You’ve got a lot to learn, newcomer.”

…

Three days passed by the time Meryl was able to convince Milly that she was well enough to leave the bed. Apart from the incident in the kitchen Vash was an unfortunate witness to, she was fine. Besides, Meryl really couldn’t afford to take time off. Despite Milly’s insistence, they were still barely scraping by. The anxiety that Meryl could barely shake was boiling in her gut. 

She didn’t see or hear any sign of Vash while she was stuck in bed. She knew he was going to worry over nothing. And that would be her fault. 

Muscles aching, Meryl finally gathered the strength and motivation to leave the warm nest she had been confined in. Her fever had broken the day before, but the cool air circulating through the house felt heavenly on her skin. Slowly, Meryl trudged the stairs. The house was apparently empty. Milly had gone to work. Vash and Knives were nowhere to be seen. The sudden quiet was eerie. She missed the noise. 

Not sure what to do with herself, Meryl found her way to the kitchen. Dishes from the night before cluttered the sink. At least it hadn’t begun to smell yet. Didn’t Vash usually clean up these days?

With a sigh, Meryl fished a clean glass from out of the cupboard and filled it to the brim. Water dribbled down her chin as she gulped the liquid down. It soothed a scratch in her throat she’d forgotten was there. The glass was almost empty when she heard footsteps behind her. 

Turning around, Meryl found herself face to face with Knives. The grimace on his face was deeper than usual. Meryl tilted her head in confusion. “Good morning?”

“I’ll have you know it’s past noon already.”

Meryl checked the clock on the stove. He was right. She still felt so tired despite the time. “Where’s… What happened to Vash?” Meryl croaked out.

“What do you mean what happened? He hasn’t been here since this morning.”

That was… odd. Vash was a habitual early riser, but he also never left the house until the afternoon unless something was going on. 

“Where is–”

“He’s been working at that restaurant to make up for the time you’ve been lounging here.”

Meryl’s stomach curdled. “Working? At the diner?”

“Yes! How many times do I need to repeat myself?”

Meryl scrunched her eyes closed, feeling dizzy. “Stop yelling. My head’s still pounding.”

Knives scowled as he took a seat at the table. He let go of a breath he must have been holding onto as he settled in the folding chair. Meryl practically heard his joints creak and pop.

“You good there?”

He shook his head. “No I’m not. My legs barely work and I need help getting up and down these shitty stairs and Vash is gone all of the time. This is hellish!”

“Well, sorry I got sick. Because that was absolutely something I could control,” Meryl muttered, rolling her eyes

Knives had absolutely caught onto the obvious sarcasm. “Hurry up and get better. That way Vash will come back. He only went away because you couldn’t keep yourself together.”

No longer able to mask her annoyance, Meryl left Knives to grumble to himself. He was only making her feel worse anyways. This entire situation was making her feel worse. Since when the fuck did Vash get a job? Was it really because of her? Did he not think she could handle herself? Could he even work? He was… well, Vash. 

She ran back upstairs to the bathroom to fish out a painkiller. The tiny pill nearly got stuck in her throat when she swallowed them dry. Once the effects kicked in, Meryl hobbled outside.

…

“Agatha?”

Meryl paused at the door, surprised to see diners sitting down with food and drinks. The radio in the corner of the room was on, creating a warm atmosphere. Then she heard a familiar high pitched cackle. She looked over to see Vash standing behind the bar, laughing with one of the lunch regulars. He was wearing the familiar green uniform and an apron. After another moment, Vash looked over. The smile on his face softened and he waved. 

So he really was working here. Unsure of what to say, Meryl nodded slightly and began to weave through the tables and into the kitchen. 

Agatha was inside, cooking away. Meryl had to cough to catch her attention. The old woman looked over her shoulder, shocked. She finished the order then turned fully. Wiping her hands on her apron before stepping closer to Meryl. Her voice nearly cracked, “Meryl? What are you doing back? I thought you were still ill?”

“I’m better. Mostly.” pausing, Meryl glanced back to the dining room. Vash was still running around. “Did you seriously hire Vash?”

“I did. I thought it was prudent.”

Prudent?

“He wanted to help and we needed it,” Agatha continued. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Meryl bit the inside of her cheek. “No. Just…”

“Just what?”

“I don’t know. I mean… It's Vash. I’m not even sure if he has any practical skills or if the diner is going to get constantly bombarded by people looking for–”

Agatha placed a hand on Meryl’s shoulder, “Take a deep breath, honey.”

“This is a terrible idea. He shouldn't have even come over!”

“Meryl! He was worried about you. And frankly so am I since he told me you collapsed.” Agatha sighed. “I’m not going to fire him just because you need to make a point. This is going to be good!”

Sighing, Meryl forced herself to relax. Agatha smiled a bit. “It’s going to be okay, Meryl. He just wants to help.”

“Right, okay.”

“Here,” Agatha continued, “Take the rest of the day off. Come back tomorrow when you’re rested.”

Meryl nodded. There wasn’t anything else she could do. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

The old woman sent her off with a final pleasantry and Meryl went back into the dining room. Vash waved again. It was hard not to see how hopeful he looked. Rolling her eyes, Meryl made her way over to the bar. 

“So, you’re working here now?”

He grinned, “Yep! I got a uniform and everything.” Batting his lashes, Vash took a step back so Meryl could see the entire outfit. It looked nice apart from the slacks that were far too short. “How’s it look?”

“It looks good. Green suits you.” Meryl leaned on the bar. “Knives was complaining about you being gone all the time.”

“Pshhhh, he can walk around for the most part now. Besides, I need to start pulling my weight.”

“So… You’re working here?” Meryl asked, still incredulous. 

Vash beamed. “We’re coworkers now!”

“Apparently.” Meryl smiled a bit at his enthusiasm. It reminded her of an overexcited child. She hadn't seen him like this in a long time. She straightened her posture and leveled him in a serious gaze. “All right, Humanoid Typhoon, no storms in my restaurant. Got that?”

“Loud and clear, Meryl. Loud and clear.” Meryl nodded, her heart racing ever so slightly at the warm way he regarded her. “I’ll see you at home then,” she mumbled. All too quickly, Vash was pulled away by a customer. With nothing left to do, Meryl headed for the door, letting the uncertainty fade away. Things were going to be okay.

Chapter Text

Despite her misgivings, a strange sense of normalcy seemed to settle over the household. Milly had begun working part time at town hall to help manage the water vein. According to the doctor, all was progressing well. Meryl was making sure she wasn’t overworking herself and getting proper rest and nutrition. Knives continued to be vaguely horrible though he was getting better. Vash took care of most of the physical therapy with his brother.  

In the meantime, she and Vash eased into a routine. Meryl’s personal routine hadn’t changed much. She still woke up at the crack of dawn. She still struggled to make coffee in the morning, too tired to be functioning at such an early hour. She still slept in her work uniform more often than not.

Vash had no problem with the early mornings. He was used to it after decades of keeping up with a stringent training routine. Meryl was still jealous of his energy. And even then, he was a surprisingly hard worker when it came down to it. 

Of course, there was one issue with the circumstances they found themselves in.  

Agatha scheduled them both at the same time more often than not. It was helpful when the diner was busy, but there was a fair amount of downtime where Meryl was comfortable running the dining room by herself. When Vash started working at the diner, she had expected that they would switch on and off, allowing her more time to take care of other responsibilities. 

The old woman shrugged and said not to worry about it when Meryl asked about the schedule. 

This was fine. Whatever. At least they were getting paid.                                 

Vash didn’t seem too bothered. If anything, the more stringent routine lifted his mood. There was something for him to focus on other than his brother. Being cooped up in the house hadn’t been good for him. But there was something relieving about the way Vash almost bounced through shifts. He joked with whichever customers were willing to chat with him for more than two seconds. Even if he wasn’t working there, the upbeat energy made it easier to work.

Meryl was sitting down, flipping through an old novel she found in the house. She was sitting behind the bar. It wasn't often that Meryl had a chance to relax like this. Meryl had to make the most of it while she could. 

Until Vash slid into her seat across from her. He propped his chin on an upturned palm. There was a cheshire cat grin on his face as he looked at her, obviously begging for attention.

“Did you need something, Vash?” Meryl asked flatly, not bothering to look up from her book. 

“Just wanted to know what you were doing!” The grin faded a bit as he craned his neck to look at the cover. “What are you reading?”

Meryl shrugged, “Nothing interesting. Just some book I found in the house. It’s… okay, I guess.”

“Are you bored?”

“Not, really. No.”

“I am.”

She rolled her eyes and put the book down. “I don’t know how to help you. Agatha could probably find some chores for you to do.”

Vash continued to pout, “But I don’t want to work.”

“Vash… that’s what you’re here to do.” 

“There’s no one here right now. Play with me, Meryl. Play with me!”’

A grimace grew on her face as she looked back at Vash. He was still smiling expectantly. She didn’t like this particular smile. It felt predatory. Without thinking, Meryl held her breath as she held him in her gaze. Several seconds passed and Vash hadn’t done anything. Satisfied, Meryl went back to her book. 

What she didn’t notice was the eye roll. “Meryl! Come on! It’s so boring.”

Meryl said nothing. She wasn’t going to indulge him any longer. His whining was only going to get worse if she knew him as well as she did. Eventually he did saunter off to another table to play with a napkin or something. Meryl wasn’t paying attention any longer. The book was finally picking up. A few more minutes passed quietly. Meryl was able to relax again.

Then she saw a dark metal hand pluck the book from her. Vash was chuckling as he ran over to the bar. 

“What the fuck? I was reading that!” Meryl shouted. The cheshire cat grin on Vash’s face only made her frustration boil. 

Vash cackled from behind the bar. “You should come and grab it then.”

Meryl glared at him. She knew he was just teasing her. That was his favorite thing to do. And she was not going to sink to his level.

“Are you really going to give up? You’re not going to try?” Vash continued to pester. 

Before she knew it, Meryl was already meeting him from across the bar to snatch the book back. His chuckles turned to full on laughter as he held the little book high above Meryl’s head. She hopped on her tiptoes to try to reach it, but her arms were just too short. 

She glared, remaining on her tiptoes. “Vash! Just give the book back. This is ridiculous!”

“You kept ignoring me!”

“We’re at work!”

“You were reading!”

He continued to cackle and Meryl couldn’t stand it any longer. Vash’s eyes went wide when she climbed onto the bar. The frown on her face twisted further as meryl reached from her kneeling position on the bartop to grab the book. 

Meryl grinned smugly at Vash as she took the book back. He laughed nervously, stepping back into the alcohol shelf behind him without realizing it.

“Hey!” 

They both looked over from the bar to see Agatha scowling from the kitchen doorway. Meryl suddenly regretted climbing on the bar. Vash gulped.

“What in the world are you two doing? Get back to work! The lunch rush is about to start!”

She promptly disappeared into the kitchen. Vash started laughing, righting himself so he didn’t send hundreds of expensive bottles to the floor. Meryl threw her head back and groaned.

…

Meryl Stryfe was the daughter of Samuel Grey Stryfe, a toma ranch owner and widower. He raised his only child on the outskirts of a small town seventy five iles from November by the name of Barrows. She was an intelligent, tenacious child, taught what she needed in life by ranch hands, toma auctioneers, and provincial school teachers. Even once she moved across the planet for a posh life in December, Meryl Stryfe had never lost the edge ingrained into her by her upbringing. 

This education had served her well during her tenure at Bernardelli. It served her well when she was a professional working woman, slinging guns and legal regulations alike. 

It had not prepared her for this however. 

Meryl had been on her feet for hours by now. It had gotten to the point that her lower back was beginning to ache as she tried to find a moment to sit down somewhere. Unfortunately, the Friday night rush was only becoming more raucous as miners and townsfolk alike shuffled in to let loose after a long week. 

There was music playing over the radio but Meryl could barely hear it over the sounds of people shouting and singing and conversing. Even the kitchen was loud– Agatha’s usual methodical system had become more slapdash while Meryl ran orders out. Vash was in charge of drinks. He could get covered in stale beer this time around. He deserved it after the hassle he caused that afternoon. 

“Hey, sweetheart!”

Meryl groaned internally. With a wavering smile, she set the plates she was carrying at their table and turned to rowdy miners that called for her with a poorly masked frown. It felt as though she had just been at this particular table. Most of the surface was covered with spilled beer and food. She groaned. “Can I get you two anything?”

“Yeah, doll,” one of them slurred, obviously inebriated. Meryl’s skin crawled when she saw a few of them leering. “We wanna ‘nother round. Oh! And my friend here wants wings.”

“You do realize I have a name right?”

“Aw, don’t get your panties in a twist, sweetheart. It was just a compliment. Our order then?”

There was a salacious grin on his face that Meryl didn’t like. Had she not been at work, Meryl would have slugged him. Too bad… Meryl finished the ticket and rushed it back to the kitchen. Agatha looked over from her pan, expression twisted with concern, “Is everything okay out there?”

“Yeah,” Meryl started, mustering a faulty smile, “Just the usual.”

“All right. If anything happens, you can take a breather back here.”

Nodding, Meryl went back out to the dining room. Immediately, her head began to ache with an oncoming migraine. She sauntered up to the bar, pushing past more bar flies to get to the cabinet of clean mugs in the corner. Vash paused, brow furrowing, “I can get that.”

“It’s fine. I just want to get this over with.”

“Okay, okay."

Meryl was pouring the beers when she saw Milly waddle in from the porch. She was typically here earlier. Vash leaned against the bar as she took a seat, wood groaning ever so slightly as she adjusted her weight. She smiled wearily as she looked around. “It gets busier and busier every time I come over for dinner!” Milly said.

“Well, there’s more people moving into town because of the water vein.”

“That’s true. Still always a shock. It was so quiet when Meryl and I dragged your unconscious body into town a couple of months ago.”

Vash grimaced momentarily. “Where’s Knives?”

“Being a wet blanket at the house. I promised I’d bring him dinner when I get back.”

“Oh… we’ll convince him to come out before you know it.”

Meryl tilted her head, nearly spilling some of the alcohol all over her uniform blouse. “What can I get you, Mills?”

Milly sighed and rested her elbows on the bar. “Pickles. I’ve got a hankering for pickles. Again!”

“You can’t live on just pickles,” Meryl said incredulously.

“I can’t help it,” Milly whined. She patted her belly, “Pickles are all he wants these days.”

Vash narrowed his eyes, “You think it’s a boy?”

Milly only shrugged, “No idea, but it feels right. And right now he wants pickles! We’ve been thinking about it all day. Anything pickled. Good old fashioned cucumbers, carrots, green beans. Oh, do you have olives?”

Meryl grimaced, “Let me run these over and I’ll see what we have in the pantry…”

She heard Milly yell a generous thank you as she walked to the dreaded table, trying to weave through tables without spilling lukewarm beer on herself. The bellowing laughs coming from the group quieted as they watched her approach. The one who made the order turned in his seat, the corner of his lip curling upwards. “You really kept us waiting, dollface,” he laughed. He scooted his chair closer to Meryl as she placed their drinks on the table. She tried to hurry.

“You’re not the only customers we have tonight.” 

“The skinny guy doesn’t look too busy. Why don’t you stay for a few minutes?”

Meryl glared. “No. I’d rather not.”

The man’s grin faded, “Only for a few minutes, darlin’. It’ll be the most fun you’ve had.”

“I said no,” Meryl stated clearly.

A sneer flashed momentarily on the man’s face. Meryl knew better than to stay and turned to walk away. Then she felt fingers on her wrist, fingers prodding into flesh. Meryl snatched her hand back, nausea cementing itself in her stomach. “Try anything like that again and I’m going to kick you out.”

“Oh. You know I like a bit of bite, sweetheart.”

The color must have drained from her face as she stared at him with bewilderment. He broke into more laughter. From somewhere in the diner, Meryl heard her name and that was her cue to run away. 

She was walking away when meaty fingers grabbed her thigh and crawled upwards, feeling and kneading through the fabric of her skirt. Her eyes went wide and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. In an instant she spun on her heel to see that shit eating grin was back on the man’s face. Without thinking she cocked her fist back and–

Something pushed her back, making her stumble into another table behind her. Meryl had to take a moment to regain her surroundings. She saw a flash of green and Vash was already tackling the offender to the floor, shouting. She cringed involuntarily when she heard the man’s skull crack against the floor and Vash’s knuckles came back bruised. Her hands gripped weakly onto the table top, gouging into the small of her back in a feeble attempt to keep herself standing. Vash had to take a moment to come to his senses, chest heaving as he breathed. Suddenly, he sprung up and turned to the stupefied crowd, face still twisted with a terrifying grin. His eyes almost glowed. 

“Touch or speak about Miss Stryfe the wrong way– Hell! If you even look at her wrong, I will toss you physically out of the door! Miss Stryfe is a wonderful, patient, tenacious woman. She is more than deserving of your respect and courtesy for dealing with you drunk idiots. Do I make myself clear?”

Meryl had to remind herself to breathe as her eyes refused to move from the tainted grin on Vash’s face. A few people nodded and gave monosyllabic answers. Their eyes were all trained on her and Vash, and Meryl wanted to shrink and run away to the kitchen. Her feet refused to move. Even Agatha had appeared from the kitchen to see what the bustle was about with a stern expression.

The grin on Vash’s face didn’t falter as he leaned on the table, “So, here’s what you fellas are going to do. You will pay for services provided and leave Miss Stryfe a very generous tip for all the trouble you’ve caused her. And then you will go home and continue your party there.”

Again, the crowd of drunken rabble struggled to find the words. But they followed Vash’s instructions to a T . 

Meryl still couldn't help but stare at Vash the entire time. When he stood up, Vash glanced over to her from over his shoulder. The grin on his face was gone, replaced with something much softer. The tension in Meryl’s shoulders refused to abate. 

“Are you–”

“Meryl! Can you come here for a moment?”

Milly’s voice seemed to cut through the static in Meryl’s head. Breathing shakily, she turned to see her friend standing by the kitchen door. Agatha was there too. The concern she saw on the old woman’s face was replaced by something tenser. 

Meryl looked back to Vash. He nodded. “I’ve got it out here.”

Milly’s outstretched hand encircled Meryl’s shoulder as she pulled her into the kitchen. Agatha already had a stool pulled out for her. Meryl said nothing as she sat down. Her hands were still shaking. She rubbed her eyes roughly. “Sorry, I, uh…”

“It’s okay. That was a lot,” Agatha said quietly. “Take a moment to gather yourself.”

Meryl took a deep breath in. She needed to get a hold of herself. She still had to go back to work. But Milly hadn’t let go of her yet. There was a weak smile on her face as she rested her head against Meryl’s temple. Meryl didn’t know how long they stayed there.

“You never got your pickles,” Meryl said quietly. “I’ll look in a moment.”

“Thank you, Meryl.”

…

The rest of the night went easier than Meryl expected. 

Vash’s outburst, because Meryl had no idea what else to call it, had shocked everyone in attendance. It had taken almost an hour for the energy to return to anything resembling normalcy. But the rougher customers, all random working folks from the larger area, had taken the demonstration to heart. Compared to before, they treated her like a queen. 

No more cat calls. No more pet names or wolf whistles. And no more roaming hands. They enjoyed their time quietly and tipped generously before leaving for the night. 

Part of Meryl wished Vash would have come in to yell earlier. 

The other part of her was still shaking, unsure of exactly what to make of what happened. 

They were just about done cleaning for the night when Meryl was able to muster up the courage to speak up. Vash was busy sweeping up the last bit of dust from the floor, almost too distracted to hear her. 

“Is your hand all right?”

“Huh?” he asked.

“Your hand. It looked like that hurt earlier,” Meryl muttered. 

Vash shrugged with a resigned smile. “Eh, I’ve had worse. Anyways, if I used my left arm, I probably would have broken his jaw.”

“Oh. Yeah, he was an asshole, but still…” Meryl trailed off. “You didn’t have to jump in like that.”

The smile disappeared from his face as he looked back at Meryl. The expression on his face made her want to curl up and fade away. “Of course I had to jump in. What else was I supposed to do, Meryl?”

“It’s normal. Behavior like that is… normal.”

“Normal doesn’t make it right.”

Meryl hugged her arms around her shoulders. “I can take care of myself, Vash.”

“I know.”

Vash’s voice was quiet and thoughtful. It hurt when Meryl had expected him to bite back. Because his words said volumes more. It wasn’t often that Vash was completely genuine. Meryl felt equal parts loved and useless. Like she still had so much to prove to him and Vash was too preoccupied to even let her try. And Meryl was left to stew in this inadequacy. There was an impulse to kick him in the shins and push him away. 

Instead, she continued to brood while Vash finished up. The sound of the broom bristles on the floor grated on her ears. 

Vash softened his posture as he approached her. “I’m done. Let’s go back.”

Meryl nodded tiredly, put her apron away, and led him back out onto the street. Her shoulders sagged as the events of the day replayed themselves over and over in her head. The exhaustion was beginning to settle over her. Vash walked a pace or two behind her, humming some song to himself. 

She was about to turn around to say something when her stomach lurched. Meryl’s foot caught onto a rock, sending her careening forwards. The world was spinning around and in a moment she was going to–

An arm wrapped around her waist and the world stopped moving. 

“Ope! Barely gotcha there!”

She looked up through sleep laden eyes to see Vash grinning at her. The corners of his eyes crinkled and his dimples were showing. His eyes were almost glowing in the dark. Meryl took a deep breath, desperate to keep her composure. Suddenly, she turned away and began to walk off without him. “I don’t need help walking,” she grumbled.

“Fine, fine,” Vash said, teasing. “I wasn’t trying to imply otherwise.”

Much to her chagrin, she began to stumble again. And once again, Vash caught her. “I don’t mind carrying you. I’m not tired yet.”

“You’ve done enough tonight.”

Vash scooped her up off her feet and brought her close to his chest. His right arm was under her knees while his prosthetic remained on the dip of her waist. She expected the metal to be cold but his hand was surprisingly warm now.

Vash began walking, keeping his gait steady so he didn’t drop her. “I like helping you and Milly. Even if it’s just little stuff like this,” he said softly. 

Little did he know, this wasn’t little to Meryl. And he wouldn’t ever know. 

“Let me help then?”

Meryl gulped, noticing the hopeful look on his face. Something in her chest melted. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her head was tucked perfectly under his chin. From the corner of her eye, Meryl saw the wistful smile on his face now that she had answered him. In a few more minutes she heard a clear tenor voice singing above her.

“ Just the smile that is spreading all over her face, could warm up the room and set fire to the place. Yes, it could. You know it could. 

Now, the fog is clinging all over the town. Put one foot in front and you might just fall down on the ground. She’s in town.

But like the rain that is falling all over the land, she can cool down my mind with the touch of her hand. Feels so good. Yeah, so good.”

Was he singing about her? Meryl wanted to ask, but the words never left her mouth. Vash was enveloping her and she felt so warm.

Meryl’s eyes refused to open as she drifted off. 

“ Just the smile that is spreading all over her face, could warm up the room and set fire to the place. Yes, it could. You know it could.”  

Chapter Text

It wasn’t often that Milly was able to get away from her housemates. The only times it felt like she left the house was for work or errands. And that was fine! She liked working. Her job helping manage the water vein was interesting and she got to help the town and talk to people. It was certainly less back breaking than what she was doing before and not nearly as stressful as working at the diner. And Meryl would have thrown a fit otherwise.

So, when Agatha invited her for a night out, Milly snatched up the opportunity. What was the harm in having a little bit of fun anyways?

A small part of her felt like a rebellious teenager when she ducked out of the house without telling anyone. And now she was knocking on the front door of the diner. Usually the lights were all dark by now, but dim yellow shone through the window. In another moment, the short older woman opened the door with a grin. “You did come! Come in, come in!”

Milly grinned back. How could she not smile? “Well, I thought that what was the harm of a night out?”

“Smart woman! Meryl didn’t give you a hard time, did she?”

“No, but she will in the morning,” Milly started. She looked around the dining room to see one of the corner tables– the one the nice man from the dry goods store usually sat at– was all dressed up for card games. There was a red gingham tablecloth and a candle. On the next table over was a spread of appetizers. Milly’s mouth watered.

There were pickles. 

There were three older women Milly had seen about the town. She wasn’t personally acquainted with them, but they were just friends she hadn’t met yet. Milly took a place at the table and tried not to sigh with relief that she wasn’t on her feet.

“So, you didn’t tell Meryl you were coming?” Agatha asked as she closed the door.

Milly sighed, “I didn’t. She’s always so…”

“Fussy?”

One of the other ladies, a willowy woman in a pair of cat eye glasses, spoke up, “Overbearing? My late husband was like that.”

Milly didn’t want to call her best friend overbearing. Overbearing sounded awful. But that was the truth, and Milly was nothing if not honest. Even in front of her boss. “Well… Meryl is a little overbearing. But, I think it's just because she keeps trying to use me to distract herself.”

Agatha took a seat and handed Milly a plate of appetizers. Milly tried not to stuff her face right away.

“Distract herself from what?” the third woman asked.

“Oh! That’s obvious. Do you remember when they first came into town months ago? Miss Meryl kept Old Allan from lynching… Oh what was his name–”

“Mr. Vash?”

“Right! Anyways, she literally saved his life. Made quite the speech too.”

“And there was that outburst last Friday too! If someone did that for me, I would have been swooning.”

“You should see how they act around each other before we open too,” Agatha added.

Suddenly they all turned to Milly. She nearly choked on the garlicky carrot she was eating. “You guys only invited me over to gossip, didn’t you?”

Agatha shrugged. “We all know something is going on.”

With a sigh of finality, Milly pushed the plate back. “Well… It might take a while to explain everything,”

“So there is something going on with them?”

Milly nodded, “It’s been going on for years! I think Ma’am has had a crush on Mr. Vash since she met him. But, she’s so difficult about her own feelings. She refused to believe Mr. Vash was actually himself for months. And then he disappeared for two years. She was devastated. We both thought he was dead and Miss Meryl was closed off. And then, lo and behold, Mr. Vash just shows up out of nowhere again!”

“How long ago was that now?”

“About a year ago. I think once we got here, Meryl finally admitted to herself that she’s in love with Mr. Vash!”

“And what about him?”

“Mr. Vash thinks he’s so hard to read, but I can see right through him!” Milly bit into another pickled carrot. “He’s not even aware of it, but he’s got feelings for Miss Meryl too. But they’re both so hopeless!”

“And that’s why Meryl is fussing over you so much.”

“Honestly, sounds as though your solution is right in front of you.”

“Yeah, it is. But again, Meryl doesn’t want anything to change for whatever reason and Mr. Vash is oblivious to everything,” Milly sighed. “I’d probably be able to get some rest if they actually talked.”

There was a peal of laughter. “You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“It feels like sorting out Ma’am and Mr. Vash is going to be harder than having my baby,” Milly joked. “Meryl keeps trying to take care of everything as though it's her own child. She should really be focusing on herself for once!”

“It got to the point that she collapsed,” Agatha reminded. “That's when Vash started working for me.”

The other two older women began to coo and fawn over how much of a gentleman Vash was, reiterating how he had saved Meryl from the riff raff. Milly didn’t have any intention to interrupt them. If anything, it was finally good to get everything off her chest. Knives wasn’t exactly the best listener.

“Say, Milly?” one of the women asked. “Have you started on a nursery yet?”

“Oh right. That might be something to get started on sooner rather than later. My husband I put it off so long for our first and it still wasn’t painted by the time I was in delivery!”

“I remember!”

They must have noticed the nervous look on Milly’s face and turned to her. She poked at the food on her plate. “I’ve been looking into it. And it’s not as though I haven’t helped set up a nursery before. It’s just all a lot right now.”

There was a moment of silence, and the atmosphere felt heavy. Milly started regretting saying anything.

“Well, if you need anything– and we mean anything! Let us know,” Agatha said seriously. “We have plenty of old furniture between the three of us. And Lord knows we’re never going to be using it any time soon,” she finished with a laugh.

Milly let the tension leak from her shoulders as she resettled in her chair. “I think I might take you ladies up on that.”

“Wonderful!” Agatha exclaimed, shaking Milly’s shoulder lightly. “Now, who’s ready to deal cards?”

…

Vash had been under the impression that now that he was in one place for the foreseeable future, he would be sleeping in his own bed. It was a dream of his he didn’t often indulge in. Some unattainable goal with his lifestyle. Not as though that was entirely his choice. 

Unfortunately, with the late nights he was working recently, Vash was exhausted by the time he got home so late. It was a personal accomplishment if Vash was able to climb up the stairs to fall face first into his. The couch, as lumpy as it was, was an easy alternative. It didn't help that Knives often kept a blanket and pillow nearby for midday naps.

In some ways, convenience wasn’t the only reason Vash preferred sleeping on the couch. 

Knives was… haunted. 

During the day, he had the appearance of normalcy. Or at least normal for Knives. Which amounted to whiny and difficult. Even when Knives wasn’t talking, Vash would get a flash of his brother’s thoughts. The constant bad attitude was beginning to wear down Vash’s patience but he could deal with it. At night, things escalated. In his sleep, Knives had no control over his own mind. Vash was bombarded with images of violence and desolation. Feelings of loneliness and anger and regret drowned out Vash’s sense of self. The sound of sobs punctuated the quiet. 

And Vash selfishly did nothing to help him.

How could he? His own mind betrayed him constantly. How could he help Knives if he couldn’t get over himself? The same sense of uselessness he felt when he came to LR slithered its way back. He should have been helping Knives. He was supposed to be helping Knives. Knives was his only true family after all. Rem asked him to take care of Knives.

Vash found himself in the desert. 

Both suns were blaring down on him from their zenith in the sky while wind tore at exposed skin. Sand pelted and bit at his cheeks. In minutes, Vash would collapse under the heat of the double suns. 

But it was nothing compared to the heat coursing through his veins and arteries, all emanating from that one spot in his arm. The feeling consumed everything he was while the pearlescent object in his arm powered up. Helplessly, Vash watched as his left arm morphed into a construct of feathers and wood and light. The vibrations of the change crushed his bones to meal and liquified his organs to goo.

Feathers choked out his lungs and wound his way up his throat until they poured out of his mouth. Vash could hardly hear the wet splats as bloody white feathers landed in the dirt. His body tried to suck in as much oxygen as it could, but the feathers were too much.

In moments, Vash’s knees buckled underneath him and his body toppled under the weight of the angle arm. Tears of crimson blood flowed freely from his eyes and pooled in the dirt under his cheek as the angel arm grew and grew.

And grew.

And grew until it was the only thing he could focus on.

Vash’s eyes were filled with the sight of blinding, hot light and delicate, feminine faces carved into wood grain. His vision swam at the edges as his life force was funneled into charging the arm. 

The light was only growing. Consuming. In moments it would go off and there was nothing Vash could do to stop it anymore.

There was nothing he ever could have done.

The scream that crawled its way past the feathers was painfully silent.

There was nothing–

“ All of my words fall flat as the time passes between us and I’m left confused. Watching my words float in the air and disappear before I can take them back.

You’re too nice to me to only simply say I love you. And maybe soon the rain will stop and it’ll just be us against a twilight sky.”

A voice, soft and bell-like, cut through the sounds of feathers in his lungs and energy coursing through his body and into that freakish weapon tearing through his flesh. His ears strained to make any sense of the words singing– yes, that must have been what it was. The voice called him back from the brink.

The voice was so familiar to him, he could almost see the face singing to him.

“ I’m frightened that if we didn’t meet that day, that time, that place, then even now we’d be nothing but strangers. If we didn’t meet that day, that time, that place.”

Despite the drool and feathers pouring out of his mouth, air entered his lungs again. The blinding white light emanating and pulsing where his arm once was began to dim. Vash was able to crack an eye open.

He was back in the living room. Above him was a familiar face of a woman with raven hair cropped short framed with long golden earrings. Vash could barely make out her features in the growing darkness of evening. Her arms enveloped him and kept him close. Her cheek rested on the crown of his head while her hands carded gently through his hair. Vash could feel her chest rising and falling as she breathed. Her singing was just as calming as it was before.

Vash’s cheeks grew feverish and wet. Was he crying?

No. No, he was sobbing.

Meryl never stopped singing.

“ Don’t let yourself fall for sweet faces and sweeter lies. Don’t let your heart waver from its path. And I’ll fall apart that you’re not mine to keep.

And if by some miracle I wake up tomorrow, my love for you will only grow. And soon I won’t be able to hold it all in anymore for all the world to see.”

Vash stopped listening as closely as her words turned to gentle hums. Her fingers never stopped running against his scalp and soon enough his tears slowed. Listlessly, Vash laid his arm around Meryl and let his eyes close again. This time, he truly slept. 

“If we didn’t meet that day, that time, that place.”

…

It was late morning when Vash finally awoke. There was a crick in his neck and his leg was devoid of feeling. Sleeping on the couch was maybe not the best idea anymore. Vash rolled over on his back and threw his arm over his eyes to block the harsh light pouring in through the windows. He breathed deeply in what felt like the first time in forever. He was still on the couch. His arm was distinctly human-shaped. There weren’t any feathers pouring out of his chest. So the night before had really been a dream.

Vash sighed as he thought about Meryl holding him to her chest and her voice calling out to him through the desert. She had called him back.

She always called him back.

But that had been a dream. Hadn’t it?

Vash hated the way his heart lurched when he realized the night before had only been a dream. It felt so real. It made him feel safe and protected and loved. And Vash didn’t know why he had felt so attached. 

He continued to puzzle while he exhaled  and felt something unfamiliar tickling his face. Then he noticed an incessant itch along the sides of his face and down his back. Vash pulled his arm back with a grimace. Light grey feathers poked out of the tops of his forearms. He could only stare. That… wasn’t normal. His hands went to the side of his face and found soft little sprouts covering his face. Panic cemented itself in Vash’s stomach as he ran from the couch to the upstairs bathroom. His eyes went wide. All around the edges of his face and under his eyes were those same grey feathers from his nightmare. Something in Vash’s chest dropped.  

He was still staring at his face in the mirror when he heard steps thundering down the hallway. Knives scowled when he spotted his brother, covered in feathers and wearing a rumpled work uniform, lingering. “Are you done in here?”

Vash looked over, expression bewildered. “Sorry, what?”

Knives cringed when he saw Vash’s face. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“You’re not molting, are you?”

Vash turned back to the mirror and pawed at the feathers under his face. Some of the smaller sprouts fell into the sink as his hand passed over them. “I don’t think so. I haven’t molted in… Fuck! I dunno. It’s been a while.”

“You stopped molting?”

“You didn’t?” Vash retorted back. Knives only shrugged. “I thought we grew out of that! I’d have been lynched a lot more if people knew that.”

Knives’s expression soured. “Wait. Back up. Lynched?”

Panic began to cement itself in Vash’s stomach when he saw Knives’ face turn red. His hands were flexing at his side. Instinctively, Vash grabbed onto his brother’s shoulder. “Hey, before you say anything–”

“I know, I know, I know.” Knives rolled his eyes and began a nasally impression. “ The humans aren't to blame. They just need to learn. I don’t care –”

“Oh, calm your tits. I don’t sound like that.”

“Yes, you do!”

Vash couldn't help the weary sigh he let go of. “All I think is that humans aren’t inherently bad. They’re driven to do things, heinous things–”

“Like lynching an innocent bystander.”

“Don’t interrupt me. But they’re driven to do what they need to survive when they feel their backs are up against a wall. Just like plants. And we’re all just trying to live in the world you created.”

Knives looked away suddenly. The scowl on his face didn’t go away. It just grew into something sad. Maybe even regretful.

Vash sighed again. He no longer had the energy to deal with this. He had only been awake a few minutes and he was already exhausted and sore. “What time is it?”

“About noon.”

Blanching, Vash turned back to Knives, eyes wide. “Are you kidding?”

“Of course not. What would be the point of lying?”

Vash grimaced. He hadn’t technically lied. Not to him. But that wasn’t the problem. Vash began to clomp his way to the front door. He could only imagine the annoyance on Meryl’s face and the sharp comments he’d receive from her. She’d be in a mood after that and Vash would have been the reason for it. He’d deserve her wrath too.

“Wait!”

Stopping at the door, Vash turned on his heel to find Knives following him down the stairs. The regretful expression had been replaced with incredulity. 

“What is it this time?”

“You’re going out there? Like that ?” Knives questioned, gesturing to Vash’s face.

Ah, right… The feathers. Vash brushed against the sprouts for a moment then his face twisted. “I don’t have much of a choice, Knives.”

“You just admitted to being to being lynched over nothing!” Knives shouted. “What makes you think going out with feathers growing out of every inch of unscarred skin left on you is a good idea?”

“Knives…”

“The last two centuries of watching has more than proven that the humans will destroy everything different from them. And last I checked, they don’t grow feathers or molt. You want us to get run out of town? And because of what? What stupid impulsive thought are you acting on now?”

Something twisted in Vash’s chest. “Shut up, knives. I said I didn't have a choice. I still have to take care of you.”

“Then quit playing pretend and let’s go.”

“Go where, Knives? Where?”

Knives went quiet. “Anywhere away from them.”

With a sigh, Vash felt his shoulders slump. He had so many things to say, some more vile than others. More frustrated and angry and hateful. Begging. He bit his tongue for a second then spoke again, “I don’t want that, Knives. Look, we can talk about this when I get back.”

He didn’t waste another second and started down the road, lengthening his strides in a bad attempt to make up lost time. The few people who were out and about gave him pointed stares. In the back of his mind, his brother echoed his desire to run away. Vash tried not to give Knives any more space in his mind. There were already customers sitting down at the tables, in various states of waiting. Some of them were already eating or sipping on water or drinks. Like the people he passed on the streets, they stared at the sprouts poking out of his skin. Vash let go of a breath and wound his way back to the kitchen.

Agatha was already cooking when he plucked his apron from the wall. She didn’t look up when she spoke, “You’re late. What happened?”

“Sorry, sorry. Accidentally slept in.”

“Choose the wrong day to do it.”

Vash cringed. “I know! Where’s… Where’s Meryl?”

“She’s out picking up that flour order from the general store. I was hoping you could do it. But…” Agatha trailed off. The sarcasm was thick. Vash felt the intended effect and slunk back to the dining room. He tried to soften his expression into something palatable to the customers. Soon enough, most of the tension in the dining room dissipated. He could easily joke around and converse and things were normal despite the sprouts and the guilt of missing the beginning of his shift. 

Except… The table in the corner.

It was a group of toma ranchers who must have come in for supplies. Vash recognized them from around town. Always grimey and sweaty. They cursed and spat. Generally uncouth. But Vash didn’t notice them being horrible people to anyone. 

But right now, there was almost a dark aura wafting off them now. Vash tried to hide his cringe as he walked over to talk to them. The one closest to him glared. Vash couldn’t guess why. Most of the sprouts were gone.

He has his notepad ready with a grin. “Hey fellas! Can I start you off with some drinks?” Vash asked, making a point to sound chipper. 

Several seconds passed in tense silence. Vash swore he heard worms chirping. A few of the men at the table muttered something about going outside for a smoke.

“Water.” The one who had been staring daggers at Vash tapped the table and sighed. “What happened to Miss Meryl?”

”She's out picking up a delivery. But I’m here!”

That didn’t have the effect Vash hoped it did. The man’s grimace deepened.

“I’ll, uh… be right back with your drinks.”

The uneasiness settled in his stomach as Vash went back to the bar to fill up glasses. He should have been here earlier. Then he would have gone on to pick up the delivery and Meryl could deal with these ruffians. Most of them had calmed down since his outburst anyways. But that wasn’t the case today. Instead Vash tried to put the thought out of his mind and finished getting water.

For the most part the men ignored him when he came back. Which was probably a blessing, but Vash had work to do.

Vash tapped a pen against the surface of his notepad. “What about food then?”

Again, he was ignored. All except For the one who asked for water in the first place had been muttering amongst each other. But this particular man lounged in his seat and looked Vash up and down, looking as though the plant was something he just scraped off the bottom of his shoe. 

“So… you’re still living with Miss Meryl and Miss Milly?” the man asked.

Vash’s brow furrowed slightly, “Still?”

“Well, didn't you run off on them a while ago?”

“Technically yes… I was looking for someone.”

The man grumbled, “Yeah, that hermit brother you’ve been hiding in the house. You know, I’ve heard that he was responsible for a few things no one has the stones to talk about. And ‘course this isn’t necessarily surprising.”

The smile on Vash’s face dropped. The frustration he felt with Knives was coming back. “Oh? Care to tell me why?” Vash asked, feigning ignorance.

“It’s common knowledge that you’re Vash the stampede.” The man’s voice was tinged with vile. “Only reason we let you stay here was by the good graces of Miss Meryl in the first place.”

Vash paused. This wasn’t one of the people who decided to tie him up the first few weeks he was in town, was it? No, it couldn’t have been. Meryl wouldn’t have let him into the diner otherwise.

“Why the hell did you even come back in the first place?” Vash bristled. He was about to retort when the man continued, “everyone knows what happens when you stick around. Death and destruction.”

“Heartless rumors and misunderstandings.”

“Still happened. You think you’re helping the girls out by working at this establishment?”

Vash arched a brow at the familiarity. Who did this man think he was? “Yeah, I am trying to help them. Because they're my friends.”

“If you were really a friend, you’d take that brother of yours, march over to the feds, and give them the reward money. They could live like royalty for the rest of time and you two would get what’s coming to you.”

“Where the hell do you get off?” Vash asked. He couldn’t hide the bite in his tone anymore. Or the snarl on his face.

“You heard me. You’re just bringing those two down. If not now, then it’ll only be a matter of time. And the whole town will come down with you. Flames and decay. Exactly what happened to Augusta. July.”

Vash gulped. 

This guy had a point.

Those events were his fault. They were his fault. 

His mind went uncharacteristically blank as the frustration continued to well up from his chest. His hands clenched and flexed as he tried to keep his feelings underwraps. Vash’s notebook fell to the floor as his grip lightened.

Vash’s voice was quiet, “How dare you?”

The man turned around again, “Excuse me? How dare I ?”

“Yeah!” Vash exclaimed. “You don’t even know me! And here you are, saying such horrible things to a guy you’ve only just met!”

“We all know I’m right–”

Vash wasn’t thinking as he leapt across the small space. The chair clattered as he and the man fell to the floor. The world spun but the feel of the man’s collar was real against his palm. There was yelling and swears. The man underneath him struggled as Vash snarled. He raised his arm to hit and–

“Vash!”

The room spun again as someone yanked Vash back by his collar. He landed on his back as whoever had saved him stood between and the man he just accosted got up, ready to enact vengeance.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? He’s a dangerous criminal!”

“And I’ve known him far longer than you have! So what the hell are you two fighting about?”

Finally able to recompose himself, Vash saw Meryl in all of her tiny glory, standing over him and protecting him from this man. Vash could hardly believe it. How had they gotten back to this after all the time that had passed?

“Just telling him where he should wander off to next!”

Agatha’s voice bellowed from the kitchen, “Meryl? What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing, ma’am! I have it handled!” There was a bite to the edge of Meryl’s voice. But she continued to hold the man in a glare. “Tell him to wander off? Really? I heard what you said there. Seriously, where do you get off, Fred? Where?”

“I’m sorry, miss. But you said it yourself! You know exactly–”

“Do you realize that if Vash leaves, then I leave too, right?”

The man stumbled back, eyes wide, “You’re only gonna get yourself killed that way, Meryl!”

Meryl’s face was pulled back with rage as she stalked closer to this man. Vash was amazed to see the terror in his face that Meryl was yelling at him. “I have been with Vash through hell and back and I’m still here. And, frankly, you have no right to dictate the company I keep. And you definitely do not have the right to mistreat any of my friends. Is that clear?” Meryl finished clearly.

“Crystal clear,” the man said quietly.

“Good!” Meryl snapped and pointed to the door. “Now get out! And don’t come back until you have given my friend the apology he deserves!”

“Fine. I lost my appetite anyways.”

Vash was still at a loss of words, watching as the man and his shocked friends sauntered out of the diner. His eyes drifted to Meryl above him. Part of him was shocked she was actually there. She had come…And she was shaking like a dead leaf. Vash fought the urge to reach out.

Meryl sighed, turned on her heel, and gently took his hand to stand him up. She searched his face with a grimace. “Are you okay there? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

His head spun, “Yeah. I’m, uh… Just a little…”

“Dazed?” Meryl interrupted.

“Yeah,” Vash nodded. “Besides, sticks and stones may break my bones.”

Meryl’s expression faltered. “Doesn’t give them the right…” she said under her breath.

“Sorry about all of this. I know I’m late. And that’s the second–”

“Don’t be sorry. He’s another asshole,” Meryl reassured with a slight laugh. Vash could only hum. He felt nauseous. Meryl wiped the pad of her thumb over his cheek. “You should head into the kitchen for a break.”

Vash mustered a faulty grin, “I can keep working.”

Meryl didn’t say anything for a long while as she looked back at him. “I’m sure you can, Vash. But go on. Take it easy, okay?”

He could only nod wordlessly as Meryl turned away from him and got back to work without missing a beat.

She had come for him.

And with his orders given, Vash began to make his way to the kitchen to help out Agatha. At the last second, he looked over his shoulder to the dining room. There was a smile on Meryl’s face. He knew it was her customer service smile. But then she glanced at him. And the smile on Meryl’s face beamed. Vash softened. 

Things were going to be okay.

How could they not be?

Chapter Text

It wasn’t often that Meryl had a day off anymore. Even when she wasn’t working at the diner, Meryl had a laundry list of errands and chores. She had people to take care of.

But at the present moment, Meryl let herself take the day for herself. Vash and Milly were adamant that Meryl didn’t do anything. She thought they were insane. She’d only gotten sick that one time. And then Agatha insisted once Vash brought it up at work. But Meryl promised she’d be back early the next day. There was only so much she could relax around Knives without imploding and ruining the mood. 

At least he mostly stuck to one or two rooms.

Unfortunately, it happened to be the living room

Meryl padded slowly down the stairs to find the plant sprawled out on the living room floor and surrounded by processed wood parts and metal screws and clamps. Right in front of the bottom step was a bucket of soft yellow paint and brushes laid on top of old newspapers. With a grimace, Meryl stepped past the paint.

“What in the world are you doing now?”

Knives didn’t look up, though Meryl could see the frown. “One of those nosey old hags came over and dropped this off.”

“What’s it supposed to be?”

“The crib for Thompson’s child. She’s not in any state to put it together and Vash is too much of a dolt to not do so without instructions. Which aren’t present,” Knives explained as he continued to put the crib together.

Meryl nodded along with him. “That seems… uncharacteristically sweet of you…”

“It’s not sweet ,” Knives snarled. “Thompson didn’t think I could complete such a simple task.”

“Uh huh. You’re screwing that in the wrong direction by the way.” A low growl escaped his mouth as he realized Meryl was right. Meryl continued to watch and crossed her arms. “Where are we putting it?”

“The room you and Thompson share. Where else?”

“Right…” Meryl trailed off. Would it even fit? And what about all of the other supplies needed for a newborn? Meryl would probably have to move out of the room. And they didn’t have the extra space. She didn’t necessarily enjoy that prospect. 

That would have to be a problem for another day. 

“Well, have fun I suppose.”

Knives said nothing in return as she walked to the kitchen in search of food. There wasn't much in the fridge or the pantry. Meryl sighed. She’d have to run errands at some point this week. Which was always a hassle and Meryl didn’t have the energy. Not today.

She was about to leave when she saw a mug on the kitchen counter. It smelled good, coffee made just the way she liked it. Albeit it must have been made a while ago; the mug was ice cold. Under it was a note.

I made too much for just me and I know you get headaches <3

Meryl tried not to smile when she recognized the handwriting. Slightly messy and written in a rush. Still, the note was right. Meryl felt the caffeine headache coming on. Quietly, Meryl leaned against the counter and sipped as she took in the tiny kitchen. There were little potted plants on the windowsill and the pantry was full of random spices and sauces. Mismatched dishes and pots with lids that didn’t fit. And from the archway, Meryl could see the living room with Knives’s project and a worn couch covered in pillows and loose blankets.

It almost looked like a home. It almost felt like a home.

Milly deserved a proper home.

Something better than this.

And Meryl would be the one to give it to her. She would just have to work harder.

But at least Vash was helping her now. Turning it into a place where they could turn this into a place all of them could thrive, maybe even Knives, wouldn’t be as hard as she thought. Besides, the townsfolk were starting to warm up to Vash. People usually gravitated towards him and his whimsical personality. But that was before they knew who he was. Meryl lost count of how many times she had seen him stoned and chased out of various towns and villages. But the recent outbursts must have had an effect. Her mind spun whenever she thought about it– the awe glittering in his expression when she rose to his defense; the way Vash looked to her for reassurance and permission; that she could see a hint of pride on his face as he stood up for her. 

The townsfolk had been impressed by the kindness he put back into the world. The old ladies Agatha was friends with fawned over him openly now. The little kids came around a little more often to play and wrestle around. Even some of the rougher laborers Milly was in charge of were being nicer to him. They weren’t friends, but it was a start.

It made Meryl feel oddly fuzzy on the inside. She hid the blush on her face behind her mug, even though there was no one with her. No one knew, except maybe Milly, and she knew better than to comment.

Meryl’s mind lingered briefly on the creamy taste of the coffee. It was nearly perfect

The more she let her mind wander, Meryl realized that she felt guilty more than anything. 

Vash had to defend her and Milly on many occasions, but one always came to mind. It had given Meryl nightmares for weeks edging into months. Everything she did after hearing that gunshot was just payment for a debt that she didn’t want to incur in the first place. She had no right to incur it. It had almost left Vash dead himself. All hope was gone in an instant.

And now Meryl was only making him protect her all over again. She had to do better. If not for her own pride and dignity, then at least for him. 

Meryl was a grown woman. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides, what were a few drunk customers compared to Knives’s gang of literal assassins?

She could handle herself. 

So why didn’t she?

All too quickly, Meryl finished the cold coffee. There was nothing left for her here right now. Why in the world did she bother taking the day off when she couldn't find anything productive to do? Meryl was about to gather her things to head to work when she heard the front door open. Her face burst into a smile when she heard Vash’s voice ring through the house.

“Hey! I’m home!”

…

And Meryl’s short lived vacation came to an end the next morning.

She walked side by side with Vash early in the morning before the first sun was peeking over the bluffs outside of town. Most of the townsfolk ambled slowly into the diner to look for a hearty breakfast to start their week after several days of revelry. Vash had gotten into the habit of making pastries; croissants, donuts, and rolls for the morning crowd. They would stay late on Sunday night so Vash could prepare the dough. Meryl mostly watched or read in the corner. Sometimes she nodded off. 

Meryl yawned and cracked her neck as she walked. Her arm brushed against Vash’s for a moment while her eyes flicked over to his face. His eyes were closed, still sleepy after the late night. It would have been easy to take his hand and rub circles into his palm. 

She knew better and kept her hand to herself. 

Agatha already had coffee started. The smell permeated the diner and seemed to wake Meryl up. The old woman was still upstairs as Meryl and Vash prepared for opening. Apron secure, Meryl sat on a stool near the oven. She sipped her coffee and watched Vash as he rolled out and shaped and laminated dough. The rolls were already in the oven.

“You know… I could teach you how to do all this. Then you could help out,” Vash said absentmindedly. 

“But you’re already so good at making them.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to flatter me into giving you one.”

Meryl couldn’t help the guilt ridden grin on her face. “Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how the morning goes.” Vash turned to face Meryl and was about to say something when Meryl chuckled. She reached up and rubbed a finger across Vash’s cheek, just under her left eye, until she stopped on his beauty mark. Meryl heard the breath in his throat hitch as his eyes went wide. “There was a bit of flour on your face,” Meryl explained.

They were both staring at each other, too scared to break away, until the doorbell rang. Vash scuttled to the dining room without a word. And Meryl was left alone with the half finished pastries. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she glanced out the kitchen door. 

A group of young women, all people Meryl recognized from around town, sat down and chatted and giggled at a table by the window. Vash was talking and laughing right along with them. Meryl’s eyes drifted to the halo of sunlight around his head and the easy grin on his face. 

He seemed completely at ease. 

The chatter never quite reached her ears, but the intent was easy enough to pick up. Vash had the whole table captivated. Meryl noticed one of the women bantering with him seemed particularly quick and witty, and actually got a  genuine laugh out of him. Vash motioned to put the conversation on hold for a moment to come back with drinks, but the woman’s eyes tailed him around the room. When he returned, the two of them picked up right where they left off. 

The woman then absentmindedly laid her hand on the Vash’s forearm and lingered there just a moment too long. From her vantage point across the room, Meryl couldn’t gauge  how he was reacting. Was Vash shocked, still afraid of physical touch? Or was he still smiling warmly back at her? Meryl gulped and turned away at the thought and hoped he hadn’t noticed that she was staring. She heard the woman giggle and her heart lurched. 

Why was she getting so worked up over nothing? She knew that buttering up customers usually meant better tips. And what girl wouldn’t want attention from someone like Vash? He was easy going and fun and made people laugh. Who wouldn’t want him?

As if to break her from the spell, the kitchen timer went off. Meryl nearly screamed and  rushed for an oven mitt to  pull out the rolls from the oven, cinnamon and cardamom scent filling the small space. The distraction of Vash’s baked goods did not save her from hearing him continue to joke around with someone that wasn’t her. 

But that was a good thing. Right?

…

The next few days passed in what felt like a haze. Meryl’s schedule hadn’t changed from the previous week even if the diner felt a bit lighter now. But the busy days allowed  Meryl the time to give her mind a break. 

The woman from earlier in the week–Talia from the mayor’s office– kept returning. Meryl tried to think nothing of it. Agatha’s Diner was the only restaurant in town and people were free to come and go as long as they were open. 

Only that Meryl noticed the way Talia’s face lit up when she saw Vash. She also stayed longer than most of the customers, well after her meal was done. 

There was one occasion where Meryl was the only one working. Talia had been mildly disappointed and promptly left when she was done eating. It was incredibly awkward and the tip wasn’t great. Meryl made a point of avoiding her when she could. In fact, Meryl made herself so busy that she could ignore Talia and Vash completely. Work was great!

Until of course, work wasn’t there for her to fall back on. 

Meryl was heading home from the diner, looking forward to dinner and a shower and a well earned rest when she saw it. She nearly missed it, and really wished she had.

The first thing she clocked  was Vash’s spiky two-toned hair around the side wall. Meryl paused and craned her neck to see what he was doing. Vash was slouched against the wall. He was wearing a dopey grin on his face. Meryl’s brow furrowed.

Who was he talking to?

Oh.

Meryl halted when she saw Talia standing in front of him. She was dressed nicer than usual. She looked good. Maybe it was the way her smile almost reached her eyes as she talked. She was making Vash laugh. 

Meryl’s heart slammed against the inside of her chest as she watched. 

Their body language suddenly turned serious. Talia’s face was flushed and it seemed like she was trying to fight to say whatever it was. And Vash was genuinely interested in her words. 

It felt like something snapped when Meryl realized what was going on. 

She spun on her heel and marched right back into the diner. She didn’t answer Agatha as she passed the old woman into the kitchen. Instead, she let her feet carry herself in tight paced circles. 

“Meryl? I thought you were going home?” Agatha asked, poking her head inside. She gasped when she saw the haunted look on her employee’s face. “What happened?”

Meryl couldn’t answer. But at least she stopped pacing. Wordlessly, she gestured to the side of the restaurant. Agatha left and returned, looking just as shocked as she was. “I… suspected something was up. Miss Talia hardly ever came in before Vash started with us,” the old woman said quietly, taking a seat on the stool while Meryl resumed pacing. 

“Nothing’s up. Not really when you think about it. Because everyone in town is finally warming up to Vash. And that’s what I was hoping would finally happen!”

“Oh?”

Meryl’s pacing slowed but her feet never stopped moving. “It’s just that… Everywhere that buffoon goes, he tries so hard to be good and he just always gets chased away and eventually I couldn’t stand to watch it anymore!”

Agatha tilted her head, “Well, he is Vash the Stampede…”

“But–”

“I know, I know, Meryl. He’s very sweet.”

“I’m really glad. Like, genuinely, I am!” Meryl exclaimed. Why were her eyes burning? That was strange. She took a deep breath in. “And it’s not as though I have any say in who Vash keeps around. That’s up to him! So, I’m just going to step back and not say anything. Because he’s finally able to decide what makes him happy.”

“However it still bothers you?” Agatha asked quietly. 

That stopped Meryl’s feet. 

“Yeah, it does. And that makes me feel like a bad friend.”

The room was silent for a while as Meryl continued to sulk for no good reason. She was starting to feel a little nauseous. 

“You know,” Agatha began, “My late husband was very popular back in the day. Before we got together that is. Every girl in town wanted a piece of him and the old dolt was too polite to not listen.” Agatha paused, finally catching Meryl’s eye. “But he always did come running back with the brightest smile for me only.”

Meryl stared at her for a long moment, not quite sure what to make of that anecdote. It mostly made her feel hopeless. 

Agatha must have noticed. “I’m sure Vash will figure out what he's got going on. And in the meantime, try not to be too hard on yourself.”

Meryl nodded. The feeling of invasive inadequacy lingered and she was sure it wasn’t going to disappear for a long while. She’d have to learn to live with it for the rest of her life. 

Before she could really figure out what was happening, Agatha was standing up and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You should head home. Get some rest.”

“Yeah, I will.” 

…

Meryl was able to run a few errands on her way back home: the post office to send more vague correspondence to her boss back at Bernardelli’s, the general goods store for detergent and laundry soap, and the dry goods store for food for the rest of the week. It felt like she was tossing money into a canyon when she finished her last errand, but that was life. When she began her trek, Meryl thought maybe she’d splurge and get a treat for making it through a tough week, but looking at her empty wallet, Meryl thought otherwise. 

She’d have to call a household meeting later about fund allocation. If she was going to be doing all of the shopping, she at least wanted to split the expenses equally. They’d have to figure out some way to cover for Knives’ expenses too. And it wasn’t as though he was in any physical state to work, let alone even in a good mental or emotional state. 

Through her financial musings, Meryl absentmindedly walked past the diner. She started humming the song she heard Vash singing as he carried her home so long ago. . Meryl wasn’t paying much attention to much of anything until she heard a familiar voice calling her name. Then, a green and brown blob was sprinting in her direction. Meryl waited. 

For a moment, Meryl sighed. She missed the eye searing cherry red. 

Vash was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he bounded up to Meryl. “Hey! You on your way home?”

“Yep. Got the shopping done,” Meryl said, lifting the brown paper bags into view. “Not really anywhere else to go.”

“You should have waited for me,” Vash whined. The dopey smile on his face twisted into a pout, ultimately meaningless and only to  put on a show. “I could have helped out.” Meryl rolled her eyes and handed him two of the bags out of the three she was carrying. And as quickly as it appeared, Vash’s pout was gone. 

“Do you feel useful now?”

“Yep!” 

They walked a few minutes down the road when Meryl spoke up again. “So… did anything happen after I left?”

Vash tilted his head in thought and grumbled. Meryl couldn’t help but look over with curiosity. He paused in the road and placed his free hand over his mouth. The red tint on his cheeks was not lost on Meryl. 

After what felt like an eternity later, he spoke again, “Do you know that woman who keeps coming into the diner? Talia?”

Meryl tensed. “Not personally. No.”

Again, Vash grumbled. “Oh. Well, she asked me out while I was on break.”

There was a lull of silence for another long moment while Meryl tried to keep some sort of neutral expression. She laughed nervously, “Are you going to take her up on it?”

Vash met Meryl’s side again and the two of them resumed their walk home. “No. I turned her down. I kinda…” Vash trailed off. For a moment, Meryl expected him to go into hysterics, regretting that he just passed up a golden opportunity. “I said I wasn’t really looking.”

“Oh, huh. I suppose you do have a lot on your plate. Like work and Knives and Milly.”

She squeaked when Vash grabbed a hold of her free hand and their fingers interlaced. His hand was calloused and scarred and engulfed Meryl’s. But it was warm and comforting too. And Meryl found she didn’t want to let go.

“And you!”

Meryl glanced over, confused as to why Vash had sounded so enthusiastic all of a sudden. But her heart stopped when she looked over to see him smiling at her. 

It wasn’t one of Vash’s giddy smiles or the dopey grin he wore when he was telling a corny joke. 

No.

This was full and sincere and made the corner of his eyes crinkle. Vash looked so, so full. Warm and satisfied. Meryl had never seen that smile before. 

It was a smile only for her. 

Chapter Text

One of Meryl’s self imposed duties was making sure that Milly was happy and healthy. It was necessary. Milly was a grown woman, completely capable of taking care of herself and it wasn’t as though her pregnancy was difficult so far. But that didn’t mean that Milly didn't need some sort of support. As her best friend, Meryl didn’t mind. She wanted to take care of her. She had to take care of her. 

Agatha had given her the day the moment Meryl mentioned Milly’s name. In fact she had even recommended they head to the nearby city. Wednes Bay was a busy port town and apparently the hospital there had better equipment than the little clinic they had in town. Milly seemed excited by the idea.

So, Meryl dragged her very sleepy friend out of bed early in the morning and prepared a thermos of coffee for the long ride ahead. Once in the car, Milly settled back into her slumber,  all snuggled down in a fuzzy blanket to ward off the chill. Her snores drowned out the static of the radio coming in and out and Meryl’s mind focused on the steady, even beat of her friend. No pesky thoughts of work were there to bother her, not when this was so much more important. 

The two suns rose steadily as their beat up jeep raced across the sand. It turned the world rosy pink with wisps of gold in the sky. It reminded Meryl of the long bus rides before the two years of silence. 

And Meryl found she missed those moments suddenly. 

Far too quickly, the skyline of the city came into view. It was nothing nearly as grand as December or November. But after the last few months of staying in LR, Wednes Bay seemed so big. There was traffic on the road. Not much by Meryl’s usual standards, but traffic nonetheless. It took her forever to find a parking spot near the hospital. 

She gently shook Milly awake, “Hey, we’re here.”

Milly groaned and sat up. The blanket fell from her shoulders to pool in her lap. “That was quick.” Milly paused to yawn. “What time is it now?”

“Only about ten. We can get your check up done then I’ll treat you to breakfast.”

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Milly stretched before getting out of the car. Meryl followed. The hospital was indeed much larger as Agatha had said, and much more impressive than Meryl had  expected. There was even a proper check in the lobby. The receptionist spoke with Milly cheerily, congratulating her as she handed over a thick stack of paperwork. Meryl meanwhile found them a plush couch to wait on.

“You’d think there wouldn’t be so many things I had to sign.”

“They look mostly like consent forms…”

 Another moment of silence passed while Milly’s face twisted into a pout. “Meryl, I’m putting you down as my emergency contact.”

“I thought that was your mom.”

“I haven’t told her about…” Milly tailed off, gesturing to her bump. 

“Milly!”

“It’s not as though I mean to keep it from them. I just don’t know how to explain. Telling Mama that I’m about to have a baby out of wedlock with the father… well, you know. They’d ask so many questions.”

Meryl tried to look apologetic. She could barely begin to imagine the slog of feelings Milly was going through at any one moment anymore. Hell, Meryl never considered a life different from the one she had in December. Maybe she was a coward for being hesitant to change like Milly was. 

“I just want to make sure everything is healthy first,” Milly said hopefully. 

Without hesitation, Meryl grabbed onto her friend’s hand and held on tight, if nothing else than to comfort her friend. If the gesture was helping, Meryl had no idea. A few moments later, a nurse called them back. The nurse smiled and led Milly to sit in a chair next to a table of medical equipment just out sight of the lobby. Milly’s vitals were taken and recorded and eventually they were shuffled into an empty exam room. There was a strange machine pushed up against the wall with a monitor. Milly took a seat on the table, fidgeting nervously. The nurse came in to take blood samples, and left stating the doctor would be in shortly. 

Another ten minutes passed before the doctor, a short balding man in a frumpy white coat, came in. He had a  wide smile plastered on his face as his eyes landed on Milly. “Mrs. Thompson?”

“Just Miss, sir. I’m not married.”

“Ah, noted.” He sat down on a stool near Milly and skimmed her chart. “So you’re here today for a general check up?”

Milly hummed. “Yep! Just want to make sure everything is on the up and up.”

“And your friend?”

“Miss Meryl is my roommate. She’s been helping take care of me,” Milly explained. Her gaze landed on Meryl and her expression softened. “Coming in today was actually her idea.”

The doctor hummed. “Having a support system is necessary for a person in your position. Now, the nurses took your vitals. Your blood pressure was a little lower than what we’d expect.”

“That happened to my mother apparently. And a few of my sisters.”

“So there’s a family history? Anything else you can think of?”

Meryl was only half listening while Milly and the doctor chatted. She made mental notes about dietary changes and vitamins. At some point the conversation turned vaguely harrowing with talk of gestational diabetes, birth defects, and misformed placentas. Milly, however, was unphased. Given her family life, Meryl supposed all this wasn’t necessarily new information. But Meryl was terrified. Milly was literally risking her life for this!

“So, I suppose we won’t have anything specific to look out for until we get your blood results back. But…” the doctor trailed off as he began to mess with the machine at the edge of the room. “We recently had an ultrasound machine delivered from December.”

The two women shared a confused glance. After a beat, Milly spoke up, “Ultrasound?”

“It’s non-invasive imaging technology. We could get a look at the fetus and make sure it looks all good.”

“You can do that?” Milly exclaimed, eyes wide with amazement. Meryl could see her vibrating. “What do I have to do?”

Milly’s excitement was contagious. The doctor’s grin returned as he began to prepare the equipment. “Not much. Just sit back on the table. I’ll have you lift your shirt and then we can get started.”

“How often do you get use the ultrasound?” Meryl asked as she curiously watched him wipe some sort of clear gel over Milly’s abdomen. 

“Not often. We just got the equipment and there aren’t many chances we get to use it. But this is perfect.”

Meryl hummed. Milly grabbed onto her hand as the doctor placed a monitoring wand on her belly. Her grip was tight enough that her knuckles began to turn white. They waited patiently as the doctor turned the monitor towards them. Their eyes were glued to the screen, trying to make sense of the grainy images.

Then they saw it. A small figure at the bottom of the screen. If Meryl squinted, she could make out a head and an arm. Then it wiggled.

For the first time in a long time, Milly was speechless. Tears began to pool at the corner of her eyes. 

“There’s the little rascal, Miss Thompson.”

“That’s… him?”

“Well, we can check if its a him if you’d like.”

Milly nodded vigorously. She continued to speak with the doctor. Meryl had stopped paying attention. Her eyes were glued on the screen. If anything it was still so hard to wrap her mind around the fact that the bean-like figure was real, let alone had the potential to grow into a person. Every time it moved, Meryl felt chills run up her spine. 

Suddenly Milly jumped and they both saw another limb pop out and convulse. Then as quickly as they started moving, the figure settled.

“Meryl!” Milly glanced over to her friend, still beaming. “Did you see that?”

“I did. That’s so exciting, Milly!”

All the while, the doctor started cleaning up. He handed Milly a clean towel to wipe the gel off with. “You can get the details about where to send the blood results and what not at the front desk before you leave, Miss Thompson. And in the meantime, I’ll send you home with some vitamins.”

“Sounds peachy!”

As per instructions, the pair of them went to the front desk. Milly was able to take care of the rest of her business and they waited patiently for the promised vitamins to be delivered. All the while, Milly’s excitement began to peter out. The easy smile was still on her face, but Meryl still noticed how she had gone quiet. 

Appointment finished, Meryl led her friend to a cafe a few streets over. The atmosphere was bustling and electric, a far cry from anything in LR. Meryl thought that maybe the change of pace might get Milly out of her head, but the younger woman stared wistfully out the window. 

Even the temptation of waffles with maple syrup and fresh strawberries didn’t seem to pull her out of her funk. 

Meryl rested her chin on an upturned palm and tried to catch Milly’s attention. “So are you going to tell me what’s eating you up? You were so excited earlier.”

“It’s nothing really.”

There was a beat of silence while a waiter brought over tea and coffee. Milly barely sparred a glance. Meryl tried to hide her frown as she added cream to her coffee. “You know it’s not nothing. I want to know.”

Milly’s expression faltered. She couldn't seem to face Meryl lest she lose her composure. “I just… I kept wondering about what he would think about all of this.”

“ He ?”

“Nick. Mr. Priest.”

Meryl’s chest tightened. She wasn’t quite sure what to say. She barely understood how deep their relationship went in the first place. Meryl didn’t know if she should ask to begin with. But, she stayed quiet to let Milly speak her mind. Hopefully it would help.

“We didn’t really talk about it. Kids that is. Or really what would happen once everything was over. He wanted to go back to the orphanage.”

“Would you have gone with him?”

Milly sighed, “Yeah. I would have. I really loved him, Meryl. With all of my heart. We were going to go back to the ranch so he could meet everyone.”

“You two were…”

Milly smiled. “We were together for a lot longer than either of us let on. We wanted to keep it quiet since so much was going on. And well, I suppose we weren’t very careful.”

Meryl sipped her coffee quietly. But at least Milly was beginning to eat. “Would Wolfwood be happy about… the baby?”

Hands falling to her abdomen, Milly looked down. She thought for a moment before a soft smile grew on her face. “He would have been. Nick would have been over the moon. But he’s not–” Milly’s voice turned wet and emotional. “Oh, Meryl… I miss him so much. I wanted to share this with him. Start our family and make a future and all of that. We both wanted it so bad and he had to go off and get himself killed.”

“Milly! It’s going to be okay. I know we can’t replace Wolfwood, but we still all want to support you. And I’m sure your parents would love to have you back.”

Silence ate up the atmosphere. Milly was now just picking at her food. “Do you think it would be better if I went back to the ranch? Go home?”

“It might not be the worst thing in the world,” Meryl said quietly. “LR isn’t exactly the best place to settle down, let alone raise a child.” Her chest hurt when she saw the obvious heartbreak on Milly’s face. “There are hardly any resources in LR. We had to drive three hours to reach the closest hospital. And we’re still having trouble making ends meet.”

“But it’s not all bad, is it?”

Meryl sighed. “No, it's not hopeless. But it would be easier to take care of you if we left.”

“What about Mr. Vash and Mr. Knives?”

They were both silent as Meryl’s words settled like a heavy, wet blanket. She couldn’t seem to find a good answer. But the silence said enough. 

“Would you be happier if we left?” Milly asked seriously.

Meryl stared at the last few sips of coffee in the bottom of the mug. The liquid was cool and bitter now. A lot like the uncertainty rising in her chest. She promised she wasn’t going to leave Vash. They were friends. But was it right to stay if it was detrimental to Milly? Meryl had promised to take care of her. 

“I don't know. It was only a thought.” Meryl finished her coffee, sad there was nothing else to focus on. “Only a thought…”

…

The mood had shifted slowly back to normalcy.

They took advantage of their time in Wednes Bay to shop around for most of the household goods they couldn’t find in LR. Thankfully Milly was more than familiar with the sort of supplies needed to take care of an infant, so Meryl was able to take a step back. By the time they were finished, the back seat of the car was filled with shopping bags. It was bordering on evening when they brought everything back into the house.

Meryl began making a vegetable rich noodle soup for dinner while Milly unpacked. They could hear Knives puttering around upstairs. Meryl wasn’t going to bother him. She didn’t want to ruin the good mood she was in finally. 

It wasn’t much longer when the front door opened. “Hello? Insurance girls? Are you two–”

“In the kitchen, Mr. Vash!”

The easy smile on Vash’s face turned to apprehension when he saw Milly’s bounty on the table. He picked up a baby bottle with stars and moons printed on the side and grimaced slightly. “You two certainly went all out.”

“That was all Milly,” Meryl said from over her shoulder. 

“Huh…”

“I figured it would be a good idea to stock up when we were in Wednes Bay so Meryl wouldn’t have to drive all the way there again,” she explained. “Fortunately Mrs. Agatha’s friends are donating most of the big stuff!”

“Speaking of,” Meryl started, “Work wasn’t too rough with me gone again, was it?”

Vash shook his head. “No, it was honestly pretty slow. Agatha had to put me to work in the kitchen in the afternoon.” One of the chairs squeaked against the linoleum as Vash sat down next to Milly. “So, how did the check up go then?”

“Amazing! They had an ultrasound there.”

“No kidding, huh? Been a while since I heard of one of those.”

Meryl put the vegetable she was cutting up into her stock pot to simmer. She then turned on her heel to lean against the counter and join the conversation. “You’ve seen an ultrasound before?”

“Yeah, there was one on the colony ship. I’ve had to use it a few times before.”

Meryl didn’t hide her frown. Nothing serious was usually just him playing off an otherwise fatal or debilitating injury. There was no point in getting upset about this particular incident; it was all in the past. But the aggravating habit persisted.

“Enough about me though! What about you two?” Vash asked, pointedly looking over to Milly. 

With a comfortable groan, Milly leaned back in the chair and placed her hands on her belly. “I have to wait a few days for the blood tests to come back, but so far so good. Most people in my family have easy pregnancies so I wasn’t expecting much different.”

“How many siblings do you have again?”

“I’m the youngest of seven. But daddy has ten– seven brothers and three sisters! Mama only had four sisters though.”

The color drained from Vash’s face. Meryl nearly laughed. She had the same reaction the first time she heard about the extended Thompson clan. And it didn’t even sink until Milly dragged her along to a family reunion. 

“Anyways, the little bean is all healthy! I was finally able to hear the heartbeat. We got confirmation it’s a boy too.”

“Oh, so you were right, then?”

Milly hummed contentedly. “Mother’s intuition or something.”

Vash rested against the table, pushing Milly’s supplies closer to the edge to make room. “I guess you’ll have to start thinking about names now.”

“I suppose so. I’ll have to try to come up with something Nick would have liked.”

“Oh…” Suddenly Vash grinned and laughed nervously. His discomfort was obvious, but he was trying. “If I think of anything, I’ll let you know.”

“I’m sure you will.”

The stock pot behind was coming to a loud simmer and she turned back to the stove to keep dinner from overboiling. A companionable silence fell over the room as Meryl continued to cook and Milly sorted through the supplies on the table.

“We should get a radio…” Vash said absentmindedly. “It’s too quiet in here.”

Meryl was about to answer in agreement when Milly nearly leapt out of her seat. She grabbed onto Vash’s hand, eliciting a shriek from the plant, and placed his palm flat on her belly. For a moment, Vash stared at her with mild confusion. Then suddenly his face lit up. A light chuckle escaped his mouth.

“That’s him? Milly! This is amazing!” He turned to face Meryl, still wearing his enormous grin. He was shaking ever so slightly that Meryl almost didn’t notice. She halfway expected him to be crying tears of joy.

Instead, he came up right behind her. “Meryl, come here for a second.”

“One second. I don’t want this to bu– Hey!”

Vash took Meryl’s wrist and dragged her away. Milly tried not to look confused when Vash placed Meryl’s hand where his was only moments before. He splayed out her fingers over the span on the swell. Breath hitched quietly in Meryl’s throat as she realized how much larger his hand was than hers. Embarrassment started to settle over her shoulders as all three of them waited with tense silence. Meryl was about to pull away when she felt a clear flutter under her palm. Suddenly, Meryl could almost envision the ultrasound image she’d seen hours before. 

She almost didn’t notice that the stock pot was boiling over until Vash let go of her with a shout and went to turn the stove off. Meryl gently pushed him out of the way to make sure dinner wasn’t burned. 

Vash cowered over her shoulder. “Sorry. It’s not ruined, is it?”

Meryl tasted the broth. “No, it’s fine. The noodles are a little overcooked though.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Milly stood up and grabbed a stack of bowls from the cabinet. She began ladling soup. “I can bring this up to Knives. He probably hasn’t eaten all day.”

“Be careful up there,” Meryl warned. 

She wasn’t going to volunteer to bring Vash’s ill-tempered brother dinner. Not when he could come downstairs and get it himself. When Milly had disappeared up the staircase, Meryl took her own bowl and sat down at the table. She glanced over to Vash. he was standing and staring dumbly towards the stairs. Meryl’s expression faltered, “Vash? Everything okay?”

He rubbed his eyes, trying to keep any tears from actually falling. “Yeah. Yeah! I’m fine. Just… Rem was right. It really is a blank ticket!”

“What?”

“Life is just so beautiful sometimes! Milly’s doing such a good job! It’s just such a shame she has to do this all alone.”

“Right…” Meryl trailed off. She watched as Vash sat down next to her and began to devour the soup. He was still weeping. But the unsurprising spectacle wasn’t enough to keep her mind from wandering. 

Could things have been easier if Meryl chose better?

Chapter Text

Meryl didn’t know what woke her up. It could have been anything. It could have been the way Milly was snoring or the unbearable heat that made her kick off the blankets. It could have been the wind banging against the window. Regardless, Meryl was left tossing and turning. Her mind was far too awake to think about sleep. 

Defeated, Meryl finally relented and got up. The cold wood floor sent shivers up her spine until the soles of her feet acclimated to the temperature. Slowly, Meryl stood up and padded her way downstairs. She probably didn’t have to be so quiet;Milly was out like a light. 

Dull grey light was beginning to peak over the hills in the far distance. To Meryl, it looked almost idyllic. Maybe… she should enjoy it for once. 

It wasn’t often that she had few quiet moments entirely to herself. 

With a renewed sigh, Meryl went through the motions of procuring the coffee grounds and boiling water. She waited at the table as the coffee steeped. Steam wafted into the air and filled the room with the scent of toasted grounds. Already, Meryl’s mind was waking up. When an appropriate amount of time passed, Meryl pressed the coffee and poured herself a mug with a generous amount of cream, and settled into the rickety, wooden chair on the front porch. 

Just months ago, Vash had been snatched from this chair and was about to be dragged behind a truck in the dirt. Meryl shuddered into her mug at the thought. What would have happened if she hadn’t interfered? Nothing good, that was for sure.

Fond memories! 

Meryl grumbled, stomach going sour, as her mind lingered on the scene. Three years ago, she would have scoffed at the possibility of ending up on the frontier, eking out a living like this. But somehow, that was exactly where she ended up. She had responsibilities here, but how hard would it be to go back to that comfortable life she worked so hard for?

Was that even what she wanted? Her mind kept drifting towards the possibility. 

The sound of a vehicle coming down the road pulled Meryl back to reality. She recognized the driver as the mailman but didn’t know him by name. He parked and got out with a smile. There was a thick envelope under his arm. “‘Morning, miss. A little early for you, isn’t it?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Meryl said with a shrug. “I’m surprised we got any mail at all today.”

“Usually you two girls don’t! This one came all the way from December. Had urgent stamped on it in big red letters.”

Meryl took the envelope and saw that there really was an urgent stamp on the side. She looked for the sender and exhaled, not necessarily with relief. It was from Bernardelli’s Insurance Society. It had been two months since she heard from them. For a while, Meryl was convinced they’d forgotten about her and Milly. 

“Is everything okay, Miss?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine,” Meryl said softly. She mustered up a faulty smile for the mailman. “Thanks for bringing this over.”

“Anytime, miss. Tell Miss Thompson I said hello!”

Meryl muttered a few pleasantries as she watched the truck speed away. Alone again, Meryl went back to her spot on the porch and ripped the envelope open. There were two letters inside, one addressed to her and Milly. Her mind spun as she read hers. When she was done, she held her head in her hands and sighed. The weight of the world fell back on her shoulders.

…

Vash had found a record player in one of the dusty forgotten corners of the back broom closet. 

It had been literal decades since he’d seen a proper record player. And the excitement was nearly unbearable as he dusted the sand off and brought it out to the dining room. Agatha had watched the lanky plant mess with old contraption with a wistful, entertained smile from the kitchen. He was distracted, but there weren’t any customers anyways. And at one point, Vash looked down to see a box of ancient records at his feet. He hadn’t even noticed his boss putting them there!

Vash was thumbing through the records when Meryl approached him. She hovered over him with her hands clasped behind her back. 

“I thought we already had the radio?”

“We do!” Vash answered, still looking through the records. Most of the album sleeves were old and discolored, having lost their titles and covers. But each and every one had a sleeve to keep them from getting scratched. “Have you ever seen one of these before?”

“Not since I was a kid. My grandmother had one. Don’t know what happened to it when I sold the house.”

Vash paused. Meryl was still looking and messing with the record player, acting as though she hadn’t just dropped such weirdly personal lore like it was common knowledge. What did she mean grandmother? What was this about a sold house? Vash could only stare. 

Meryl stood above him like nothing about her was horrifically special. Like everything about herself had been too normal to even bring up. And Meryl never would as far as Vash knew. 

Suddenly, Vash came to the realization that Meryl had a whole life outside of his immediate sphere of attention. 

Vash thought he understood why. Meryl was private and kept everything neatly compartmentalized. It was easy to tell when she was bothered, but Vash hardly ever knew what about.

He pulled a record with a black and white picture of a man looking out of a thin tapered window. Vash  recognized the name of the artist. It was a man from Earth, recording decades and decades before the SEEDS project was even a thought in anyone’s head. But Rem adored one of the songs. Vash stood up and placed the record onto the player and dropped the needle to the song he wanted to play. The song was clear apart from the natural crackle of the record player

If I could save time in a bottle…

Meryl leaned onto Vash’s arm as she watched the record, seemingly mesmerized by the way it spun around. For a moment, it was just the two of them in the entire world. Vash didn’t breathe, too scared that if he moved, the moment would disappear.

The first thing that I’d like to do…

“Hey, Vash?”

The plant perked and looked down to Meryl. Her attention was still on the player. He hummed in response.

Her voice was still a whisper, almost drowned out by the song in their tiny space. “How long are you and Knives planning to stay here?”

“In LR?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not sure yet. I think staying in one place might do Knives some good. There’s Milly to think about too,” Vash mused. “Why do you ask?”

Meryl shrugged, “I just like to be prepared.”

An answer he had heard from Meryl countless times. The warrior yells of a practical overachiever. The moral code of only the most reliable, dependable person currently living. And that person was one Meryl Stryfe.

“I suppose you probably have other places you need to be at,” Vash mumbled. 

“Maybe. It’s… There’s a lot more moving parts than I expected.”

For a long while, Vash didn’t say anything as they continued to stand by the record player.

To save everyday till eternity passes away…

The curiosity still ate at him. Because Meryl and Milly had lives outside of him. Hell! They were technically still working for Bernardelli. Was Meryl only working this job so she could continue to keep tabs on him? Was that all this was? Would Bernardelli take them away from here if they didn’t turn in Vash the Stampede reports?

Vash supposed he shouldn’t have been too upset if that was the case. And he knew this was all a fantasy until he asked. And yet, like before the song started, Vash shied away from asking in fear of ruining the moment. 

Because no one was chasing or trying to kill him or his own. And he was listening to an old song that reminded him of Rem. And Meryl was undeniably alive and content and safe next to Vash in a way he didn’t imagine he’d ever grow to enjoy as much as he did.

Maybe this moment wouldn’t have to end quite yet.

…

“Hey, Milly?”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Did you read that letter I left for you on the table this morning?”

Milly glanced up from the couch, sleep still obvious in her expression. “The one from Bernardelli? Yeah, I skimmed it.”

“Did you really read it though? Understand what they were asking?” Meryl asked sharply. 

Silence hung in the air awkwardly as Milly searched Meryl for answers. “It wasn’t hard to understand what they were asking. I was surprised they didn’t send someone out here to check up on us.”

“The company wouldn’t spend the resources,” Meryl said sadly. “They still have a vested interest in Vash. And we’ve just been telling them he’s missing. They expect us to keep looking.”

“But we haven’t.”

“Exactly,” Meryl sighed. “We both have other jobs now. They don’t know about it, but they probably assumed. Especially since all of our letters are from the same mailing address. Doesn’t look as though we’re doing our job anymore.”

“But this is the most efficient we’ve ever been! But, I guess you’re right. I’m also guessing you thought about it too, huh?”

Meryl shrugged. “I did.”

“And?”

“It’d probably be better for you. And the baby.”

Milly frowned. “Ma’am, you keep saying that. I do love that you care so much about us. But I care about what you want too…”

Wrapping her arms around herself, Meryl tried to make herself smaller. “I promised I would take care of you, no matter what that looked like. You are my first priority, Milly. I meant that.”

“What about Mr. Vash? We can’t really leave him and he’s not leaving Mr. Knives”

Meryl said nothing. She remembered what she said during her outburst in the diner. What she promised him earlier in the day. If Vash left, she would too. It could be because following him  was her job. No more, no less. So when did things get so needlessly complicated?

“What about what I want then?” Milly said softly. It was enough to snap Meryl back to reality. 

“Anything. I’ll make it work.”

“Then I want to stay here,” Milly declared. 

The frown on Meryl’s face softened a little bit. She didn’t like that she felt relieved by Milly’s request. 

Milly continued on, tone serious. “I really like the life we’re building here. I know it’s not a lot. And Bernardelli was a lot more stable. But, it’s not as though we’re entirely alone. We have Mr. Vash and Mr. Knives is taken care of. But… Meryl?”

She almost didn’t want to answer. But, eventually, Meryl looked up and saw Milly’s hopeful expression. “Yeah?”

“If you didn’t have anything to worry about. If you didn’t feel the need to take care of me or have to make rent every month, what would you do?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You want to stay right?” 

Milly’s smile grew when Meryl’s frown softened into something hopeful. “All right, Ma’am. It’s time to break out the old typewriter. We have some letters to write!”

…

Vash came back from his shift to see Meryl and Milly signing their resignation letters at the kitchen table and stared with absolute disbelief when they said what they were doing. Quit Bernardelli? Quit being Insurance Girls? The possibility seemed so foreign to Vash. If Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson weren’t insurance agents anymore, then what were they?

Milly must have noticed Vash’s astonishment and clapped her hands, “This is a good thing, Mr. Vash!”

He was almost embarrassed by the squeak that escaped his throat. 

“Well, this way, Meryl and I can stay here with you and Mr. Knives and won't have to worry about having to lie about why we’re stuck in this little town for so long. And they won’t be able to call us back to December at a moment’s notice,” Milly explained. 

Meryl retrieved her paper from the typewriter on the table and shook it out to dry the ink before folding and putting it into an envelope. She handed it over to Milly, face twisted into an uncertain frown. “The post office is probably closed by now. We can send them over in the morning.”

“Wow,” Vash said quietly. “It’s as simple as that?”

“Sure is!”

The three of them sat at the kitchen table for what felt like an eternity. Vash and Meryl were bundles of nervous energy, if only because of two completely different reasons. Milly was happily addressing the envelopes and humming a tune. She slammed her hands against the table, making her companions jump. “We should celebrate!” 

Vash shot Meryl a pleading look before she relented with an eye roll. She stood up and stared at the typewriter with a frown. The wheels were turning in Meryl’s head. Vash and Milly watched her with nervous anticipation. When the tension in the atmosphere reached its peak and became unbearable, Meryl’s schooled expression broke out into a grin, “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

There was a short cheer as they began to clear the table. Vash ran all the way back to the diner and snatched as many ingredients as he could. Agatha was nowhere in sight. And he doubted she would even notice.

The table was all clear for their impromptu feast by the time Vash rushed back. Meryl was busy pulling ingredients and cooking utensils from the pantry and various cupboards while Milly had started setting the table with fancy candles and mismatched dishes. And right in the middle was a tall bottle of some sort of clear alcohol.

Even Knives found a spot at the table!

Vash smiled wide as he met Meryl at the kitchen counter. Her eyes went wide when she saw the armful of goodies he came back with. “Agatha’s gonna be mad if she notices you ran off with so much stuff.”

“Like she noticed how many hot sauces you ran off with?

Meryl’s face flushed and her eyes went wide. He chuckled. “Those weren’t all hot sauces. I took some fish sauce too,” she admitted quietly. “And sriracha.”

“See? You do it too.”

“You took so much more!”

“It’ll be fine!” the plant exclaimed. Meryl arched an eyebrow and the grin on Vash’s face turned nervous. “Fine! It’s all fine. She can take it out of my wages if she wants. I don’t care.”

This time there was a playful smirk on Meryl’s face. Vash couldn’t help but poke her cheek, fully expecting her to yell. Much to his surprise, Meryl just swatted his hand away with a sigh. “All right then. What are we making?”

“Hand me that dutch oven Milly found a few weeks ago and you’ll see.”

Meryl did as he asked and Vash got to work measuring and washing rice and chopping up bits of toma meat and the veggies and preparing the broth it was all going to simmer in. Vash looked over to Meryl momentarily. Her eyes were trained on his hands, obviously thinking hard about something. What about, he couldn’t guess. The attention made him nervous. One wrong move and he’d cut the tip of his fingers off with the knife. The knife wasn’t sharp either. That would hurt. 

“Your hands are pretty,” Meryl muttered absentmindedly, still distracted. 

Vash’s face flushed. He laughed nervously, knife edge biting ever so slightly into skin. “What was that, again?”

“Huh?”

Vash felt a rush of confidence as he caught Meryl’s eyes. They were wide again and Vash could see flecks of periwinkle in dark gray. He loved her eyes. For some reason, the confidence faded to the instinct to tease. “You called me pretty!”

There was fire in her eyes all of a sudden as she backed away from the counter. “No, I didn’t! I never said any such thing!”

The grin on his face turned to an overblown pout “You don’t think I’m pretty, Miss Stryfe?”

“That’s not what I… I just said your hands were pretty. No need to make such a big deal about it.”

Vash chuckled under his breath, putting all of his ingredients into the dutch oven. Next came the rice. When he was done, he held his right hand up in front of his face, exposing years of scars on his fingers and palm. He was amazed that she found them pretty. To him it was just more marred skin.

“Here. Hold up your hand,” Vash asked quietly. 

“Why?”

“Just humor me for a second!”

Meryl rolled her eyes as she held her hand up next to his. Vash narrowed his eyes and put on his most serious face while he compared the two. Meryl’s hands were so small compared to his. And her skin looked so soft despite the light calluses she had from the derringers and years of hard work. Her nails were well manicured and painted a very pretty blue color. He loved how precise and delicate her hands were, and he loved watching her type and tap away on the bar in the diner when she got bored, or the way they flipped through the pages of a book.

Suddenly, Vash grabbed lightly onto her hand and interlaced their fingers. Her face turned pink the longer he held on.

Vash loved the way her hand fit perfectly in his.

A sunny grin grew on his face while Meryl stood frozen and speechless.

“Hey! You’re pot’s boiling over!” Knives called from his spot at the table.

Meryl immediately pulled her hand back, wiping her palm on her pants. She inhaled sharply and stepped in to keep the rice from foaming over the lid. Vash couldn’t help but notice the way she muttered to herself or the way her face was bright red or the way she was trying to avoid him all of a sudden. Vash glanced sadly back to Knives. His brother was scowling. Vash hated the way his chest tightened.

He hated that he felt shame.

Vash glared at Knives. He wasn’t going to be shamed for this.

When she finally had the rice under control, dumping in a healthy dose of sriracha and lots of chili powder, Vash smiled. He leaned in close and tapped her shoulder to get her attention. She still looked flustered. It made him grin. “Can I help you, Vash?”

“I think your hands are pretty too.”

…

Vash laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He counted each blemish in the paint like stars. It was dark apart from the moonlight coming in through the window. Even now, it was sometimes hard to believe that he had a room to sleep in. And now with the insurance– nope, just the girls now– no longer working for Bernardelli, it felt so much more permanent.

“Vash?”

He didn’t look away from the manmade stars when Knives called out for him. His brother sounded fine anyways. There was no need to get up.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure this is even smart? Or safe?”

That made Vash pause. He finally looked over. Knives faced the window with his back to him. Vash could only guess what his expression was. He waited for an explanation.

“It’s only a matter of time before the humans figure out exactly what we are. Things will only ever end the same way.”

He hesitated with his answer, “I think you’re wrong.”

“Give it time, Vash. You’ve already gotten into fights with the locals. I don’t want to stay long enough to let them hurt us.”

Again, Knives made his chest go tight. Vash was beginning to believe him.

“I don’t care,” Vash said suddenly. “People are finally warming up to us and we have a roof over our heads. And we’re not being chased or shot at. Meryl– The girls are here. I want to make this work. I’m sick of running, Knives.”

“Vash.”

Vash could feel pinpricks of tears pool at the corners of his eyes as he stared at the broad, unmoving expanse of his brother’s back.

“We’re both so exhausted. I want a life finally. This is our chance. To be happy for once. I’m going to take it.”

Vash clamped his mouth shut before he could babble off incoherently. Knives never answered. With a heavy sigh, Vash rolled to stare at the ceiling again. He wasn’t sure how long he stared at manmade stars until he fell asleep. Tomorrow was a new day and his ticket was blank. He could do anything he wanted. Just like Rem promised.

Chapter Text

Milly was used to waking up early from her days growing up on the ranch and then her travels with Meryl on Berardelli business, and Milly was used to getting up at the crack of dawn, but her current job working on water vein management allowed her the chance to sleep in.

However, over the last few days, her own body was betraying her. At five o'clock on the dot, Milly was too awake and aware to drift back off to sleep. 

For the first time in a long time, Milly was the first one at the dining room table for the ramshackle breakfast routine she, Meryl, and Mr. Vash had managed to put together. She wiggled and shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable, while waiting for her tea to steep to perfection. Milly knew to expect back pain and this was mild to what her sisters had complained about before, but this was plain annoying! And it was only going to get worse.

But at least Milly had time to enjoy her morning. Work didn’t start for another few hours. So milly was still dressed in her pajamas and her hair was still a mess. She spread strawberry jam over a few slices of plain toast. The jam was unfortunately plant made and didn't have the same tangy kick of the jam her mother made from scratch from the strawberries her family grew. Meryl didn’t know the difference and that was a shame. This odd facsimile would have to do for the time being.

Maybe she should have taken Meryl up on her offer to go home… Meryl would probably jump at the chance if Milly asked if only to take care of her. 

Milly lost track of how long she sat at the table when Mr. Vash came ambling into the kitchen. He gave her a sleepy wave as he passed by. Mr. Vash was already dressed in his uniform. It was cute. Amazingly, the light green shirt fit, but the slacks Miss Agatha provided were far too short. Mr. Vash’s ankles were all exposed. Patchy scars were poking out from the bottom of his hems. 

Actually… How did Mr. Vash ever find clothes that fit him? And whatever happened to the odd body armor he wore when he brought Mr. Knives home? Meryl did the laundry after that. Milly had even joked that the armor would be near impossible to clean. But she hadn’t seen it since…

It was far too early in the morning to figure out the details. Besides, Milly’s tea was done steeping. She held the mug between her hands and relished the warmth. It was a shame she couldn’t seem to go back to bed. 

Instead, Milly settled for watching Mr. Vash flit about the kitchen like a buzzing worm. How did he have so much energy?

It wasn’t too much longer before Meryl trudged into the kitchen. She still looked half asleep with ruffled hair and a crumpled work uniform. She must have fallen asleep in it again. Milly couldn’t recall. But it wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. 

Milly took her time sipping on the mug of tea while she watched her roommates go about their business. This was becoming a nice little hobby the longer they went on like this, dancing around each other; denying everything that was perfectly obvious to everyone else. She swirled the last bit of liquid in the mug, momentarily distracted by some loose leaf litter at the bottom when she heard Meryl exclaim. Milly perked up. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Meryl spoke sharply.

With sleep laden eyes, Milly watched as Meryl tried to get past Mr. Vash, who was standing at the counter, in front of the coffee press. The kettle was already coming to a boil, and in his hand were on the coffee grounds. 

The fancy coffee grounds. 

The fancy coffee grounds Meryl saved for special occasions. 

Milly understood her friend’s annoyance. When Meryl got too close, Mr. Vash bumped her out of the way. 

“Vash…” Meryl’s voice was more of a grumble.

Milly could see the hint of a smirk on Mr. Vash’s face as he poured a copious amount of the grounds into the press then poured the boiling water. All the while, he kept pushing Meryl out of the way.

“Vash!”

“I’m just making coffee!” he finally retorted back. But Milly saw that telltale grin on his face. 

Meryl was pouting. “I was about to get it. Should have just waited a few moments.”

“Nope. I’m making you coffee today.”

“You literally–”

Milly stopped listening. They were going to continue arguing till the world ended, and her tea was getting cold. Reluctantly, she got up from the table with a slight groan to find another tea bag. Mr. Vash noticed and gave her a warm smile before reaching into the cupboard himself. 

“Thanks, Mr. Vash…” Milly yawned as she tore the tea bag open and plopped it in her mug. She chuckled when she noticed Meryl about to strain the coffee press. Milly gestured slightly with her head and had to hide a chuckle when Mr. Vash’s eyes went wide with astonishment. Milly leaned against the counter and continued to watch them through bleary eyes. 

“Hey! Gimme that!”

Meryl clicked her tongue in annoyance. Mr. Vash was too late. Meryl’s sleepy expression faded into a slight frown. “You know I can make coffee myself, right? I’ve been doing it long before I ever met you.”

It was Mr. Vash’s turn to pout. “I know! But… Isn’t there something kind of nice about having someone make it for you?”

Meryl stared at him for a moment. Milly could almost see the wheels turning in her head and tried not to laugh. Mr. Vash took the momentary distraction to take a mug from the cupboard and filled it. Meryl’s cheeks turned red as he made the coffee to her own specifications. Milly was under the impression Meryl never told him how she liked her coffee. 

Milly couldn’t help but make assumptions. 

And just when it seemed as though Mr. Vash was going to hand the mug over, he pulled another small item from the cupboard. Both Milly and Meryl had to take a moment to recognize what it was. He unwrapped it, snapped a chunk off, and began to stir it into Meryl’s coffee.

“Vash?” Meryl started tentatively. “Where did you get chocolate?”

Milly perked up. She wanted to know too. Chocolate was hard to come by out here. Her mouth watered at the thought.

Mr. Vash’s grin turned squirrely. “Uh… You know… Just around.”

Meryl’s brows tensed, though the rest of her face was still at ease, “You really shouldn't be wasting money on non essential items. We’re on a tight enough budget as is.”

“I got it from work! Don't give me a hard time,” Mr. Vash whined.

“Does Agatha know?”

“I don’t think she’ll care too much. Besides what’s wrong with wanting to do things I know will make the people I find myself living with happy every once in a while?”

He placed the mug softly into Meryl’s hands. The shock on her face eased up a fraction and her cheeks turned pink. Was she getting choked up? Milly wasn’t sure, but Meryl’s embarrassment was clear. Funny how such a small gesture could send her spiraling. Milly hid her entertained smile behind her tea mug.

Mr. Vash tilted his head so he could get a better look at Meryl’s face. “Short girl?”

“It’s fine,” Meryl choked out finally. Her voice was thick with embarrassment. It matched her blush. She glanced up towards the clock on the oven. “It’s getting late. We need to go.”

The expression on Mr. Vash's face softened. Milly could feel her own cheeks heat up just watching them. She looked away. 

“I’ll walk with you.”

Meryl nodded a little bit, still reeling. “I’d like that.”

Without much else, they left Milly by her lonesome in the kitchen. Meryl was still blushing a bit, unable to blame it on the steam rising out of her mug. All the while Milly couldn’t fathom how those two had that much energy first thing in the morning. 

…

By the time lunch time had rolled around, Milly was famished. She usually kept snacks at her desk. But those had been eaten over the course of the last week until she had nothing but toma jerky left. And that was not nearly as nutritious as Milly needed. And hardly palatable to boot.

The regular day crew laborers were all gone for lunch. They wouldn’t care if Milly went out for a little while. Besides, walking was good for her. Even if it was only to the diner…

It wasn’t even a far walk. Just the next block over and down a few streets. 

“What do you have for me today?” Milly exclaimed as she burst through the door. 

She was met with silence. A cringe grew on her face as she saw the empty dining room and her voice echoed dully against the walls. The emptiness was uncharacteristic for the time of day. Meryl, sitting behind the bar, looked up from her book with an annoyed frown. Milly must have interrupted the small moment of peace Meryl was basking in before the lunch crowd rushed in. 

But, like every other day, the frown was replaced with her best customer service smile. She led her friend to a small window table, warm and inviting. But the feigned annoyance was only thinly masked as Meryl went through her spiel, “And what will you have today, Miss Thompson?”

Tapping her finger against her chin, Milly pretended to think. She made Meryl wait, too. There were rules to be followed and by golly, she was going to follow it.

Meryl tapped her pencil against the notepad in her hand. “Are you the only one coming in today?”

Milly glanced at the door, “I suppose so. I know some of the crew had other plans and well… It's a little awkward now that I’m an admin. But that’s all right. I know this place is good.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Agatha. Anyways…”

“Oh, right!” Milly put the menu down on the table and steepled her hands. “I’ll have two slices of banana bread and a cup of earl grey.”

“Pickles on the side?”

“Not today.”

Meryl smiled wryly. “The usual then. I’ll be right back.”

Milly’s attention followed Meryl out of curiosity. The door to the kitchen was thrown open per usual, giving her a perfect view of the shenanigans inside. It seemed as though whatever nervous energy had been present that morning had dissipated. That was a good sign. 

She couldn’t hear what either of them were saying but she didn't need to.

Meryl went up to Mr. Vash’s side, prompting an easy grin from him. The short woman leaned into his bicep while she mumbled something. Mr. Vash seemed to be genuinely tickled by their inside joke. His rumbling laugh was the one thing Milly could hear. It was warm and made her smile with them. Meryl rolled her eyes at whatever Mr. Vash had responded with, though the gesture seemed more playful than anything else. He rested his head on top of hers momentarily and silence filled the small space between them.

Milly blushed and looked away. She suddenly felt voyeuristic. 

All too soon, the little moment gave way to reality and Meryl pushed Mr. Vash away. Her face was the same bright red shade it was that morning. She cut two thick slices of banana bread and placed it neatly on a plate before bringing it back to the dining room. She noticed the slight, teasing smirk on her friend’s face. “What is that look for?” Meryl demanded after a second. 

“Nothing! Nothing at all,” Milly feigned. “Just excited about my lunch.”

Meryl set the plate on the table and the ceramic click on the wooden table cut uncomfortably through the silence. Milly was still smiling, albeit a bit nervously. She began to eat the banana bread if only to avoid any more questions. Meryl pulled out the seat across from Milly and sat down. She sighed, “If you say so.”

At least the banana bread was heavenly to distract from Meryl’s grumbling. Mr. Vash was the person who usually made the pastries nowadays. Part of her wanted to ask him for the recipe. Because even her mother couldn’t make a banana bread quite this moist and fluffy. Every single time she ordered it, Milly kept trying to guess what the secret ingredient was. Ground up worms? Sand? Whatever it was, Milly would gladly eat it. 

Soon enough, Meryl’s tension seemed to melt and they were able to sit calmly together. It reminded Milly a bit of their early travels, before Mr. Vash had entered their lives. How cyclical!

Both women jumped when the lanky man ended up coming over to the table with another small plate. He placed it, topped with a small slice of strawberry cake, in front of Meryl. Milly’s eyes went wide.

Just like that morning, Meryl looked at Mr. Vash with no small amount of incredulity. 

Mr. Vash shrugged, “This way you won’t be starving all day.”

Meryl looked back at the frankly gorgeous cake. Even Milly was tempted to steal a bite. The shorter woman smiled warmly. “Thanks,” Meryl said softly. She took a hesitant bit, seeming to relish the dessert. She beamed up to Mr. Vash. “It’s really good. Not too sweet.”

For a moment, Mr. Vash couldn’t seem to find any words to answer her back. His mouth opened and closed once or twice like he had what he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. Eventually, he was able to let go of a strange garbled noise and retreated back to the kitchen. 

Meryl didn’t seem to care or notice and happily ate her cake. 

…

Agatha had gotten into the habit of closing the diner early on Wednesdays and Sundays. That way her two current employees were able to get a few nights a week to be able to have an evening to themselves. That meant Wednesdays and Sundays were family dinner nights. Or at least, the closest thing to a family dinner the small, ragtag group was going to get. Only Mr. Vash and Mr. Knives were the real family in the house.

But they tried!

On this particular occasion, Milly waited for Knives so they could go on an evening walk while Meryl and Mr. Vash prepared dinner. It was a healthy habit for the both of them and Mr. Knives was able to match her slower walking pace still. 

She watched Meryl and Mr. Vash from their meager living room. Again, their voices were mostly obscured, but it was heartwarming to see how close they’d gotten since they came to LR. She couldn’t help but smile at the little scene unfolding before her. 

Then she heard a grunt coming from down the stairs. Knives, in all of his disheveled glory, came ambling towards the couch so he could pull on his boots. Neither Vash nor Meryl noticed his presence and continued on. 

Only Milly did notice him. She noticed the way his face was pulled back in a taut frown. Almost as though he was… disgusted by the sight. 

Milly’s own smile soured. “Are we ready to go?”

Mr. Knives sighed, “I suppose. Maybe things will cool down by the time we get back.”

Saying nothing further, they left the house. The mother sun was only just now starting to set, casting the usually blue sky a dusty pink. The wind was picking up, too. Milly regretted not bringing a coat. Mr. Knives, on the other hand, had been practically living in the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He looked warm.

He also still looked disgusted with the taut frown still marring his expression.

Milly mustered up a faulty smile, “You look like you’re really thinking about something.”

Mr. Knives grumbled, hunching his shoulders. “I don’t think what that Stryfe woman is doing is very smart.”

That Stryfe woman? Milly nearly choked. Was that how he referred to Meryl? Taking a deep breath, Milly tried to shove down her initial apprehension. “What makes you think that?” Milly asked hesitantly. 

“Vash is dumb enough to fall for anything. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place and it continues to be his biggest flaw.”

“And what’s he falling for? Mr. Vash seems happy.”

Knives kicked a rock. “He’s not thinking straight. Slobbering over that woman like an insane person.”

Milly’s brow furrowed. She tilted her head and looked forward. “I wouldn’t say he’s been slobbering over Meryl. He’s been… I dunno, Mr. Knives. I think it’s a good thing.”

“ You obviously haven’t seen the completely inappropriate, depraved thoughts he has.” Milly was about to retort when Mr. Knives looked at her, eyes wide and desperate. “Constantly, Thompson. Constantly.”

“And how do you know what Mr. Vash is thinking?” Milly asked with a teasing tone “Does he tell stuff?”

“No, he broadcasts it directly into my head at all hours of the day and night.”

Milly tried to imagine what that was like. Horrible probably. Then again, she wasn’t a plant. She didn’t know what that was like. She thankfully never would.

“Is it such a bad thing that maybe they could make each other happy?” Milly asked. There was an almost pleading tone to her voice. She didn’t like that. 

Mr. Knives looked at the ground as he walked. The first sun was just about gone. The child sun was beginning its own descent. The shadows in Mr. Knives’ face dimmed in the dying light even though the sour expression remained.

“Yes, Vash may be happy. I could show him a pebble and he’d be happy. But it will never last. Stryfe is leading him on. In a very short time, she’ll be dead and then what? All that's left when the people Vash gets foolishly attached to die is desolation. He’ll be left in ruins over and over again. And to what end? What will happen if this continues, is by its very nature, cruel.”

“Meryl isn’t–”

“She understands the nature of the situation. So why is she so intent on blundering forwards? If that isn’t cruel, I don’t know what is.”

Finally, Milly halted in her tracks. How could he say that? After everything she’d seen over the last two years– or even just that day!-- Milly could understand how frustrating or silly they could be. But never cruel. At least not on purpose. She stared at her feet, cheeks flushed and mouth pulled back in a contemplative frown. Her chest felt tight.

Mr. Knives stopped when he noticed she wasn’t following. His eyes nearly glowed in the dark. “Are you coming or not, Thompson?”

Milly gulped and looked up. “You’re wrong. You know that, right?”

The plant perked up. 

“So what? Everyone dies eventually. You will. You literally almost did! If it wasn’t for Mr. Vash bringing you back, you probably would have passed away out there in the desert! But Mr. Vash cares about you.”

“Thompson…” The annoyance in Mr. Knives’s voice was thick.

“But he cares about Meryl a whole lot, and she cares a whole lot. It’s a real shame that you feel as though any sort of love is inherently cruel. Mr. Vash is the only family you have. Don’t you want him to be happy, even if for a little bit? Why not let him figure that out? And if he finds it with Meryl, all the better!”

Searching his face for any emotion, Milly saw that Mr. Knives looked at least a little embarrassed.

“You’re allowed to be happy too,” Milly finished.

Mr. Knives didn’t respond. He just stood there in the dark. Milly mustered up the courage to approach him again. She rested a hand on Mr. Knives’s shoulder. “Come on. I’m sure they have dinner ready by now. And you’re probably starting to get a bit sore.”

With a heaving sigh, Mr. Knives relented and did as she asked. The lights were still on in the house and Milly could smell dinner wafting from the kitchen. Meryl and Mr. Vash’s laughter, a welcome change from the silence only a few months before, made Milly laugh. How could Mr. Knives ever believe something so warm could be cruel? Milly put the thought out of her head as she sat down for dinner.

Chapter Text

Wake up at dawn, dress in the uniform, make coffee. Make sure that Milly was taken care of. Leave for work. Make sure Vash didn’t set the kitchen on fire. Go home and make sure that Milly had something nutritious to eat. Make sure the house was relatively clean. And go to bed. Stare at the ceiling and pendulum between impending dread and sour regret. Repeat.

Meryl thrived on a set schedule and finally, she found one. It was easy to lose track of time. And suddenly a month and a half passed. 

Funny how easy it was to lose track of time when she had nowhere really to go any longer. 

And it was funny how comfortable Meryl could feel in uncertainty. It was bearable to handle the emotions. There were more important things happening anyway. Like work! There were bills to pay. And the lunch rush was finally winding down. Between the out of town ranchers and the water vein workers, things were busy enough. And then the gaggle of usual workers from town hall and the sheriff’s office sat at a few of the window tables as they were getting ready to leave. 

The record player sang lightly in the background as Meryl finished collecting payment from the ranchers. They were still uncharacteristically respectful as they left a hefty tip and asked for a to-go box for one of their missing compatriots. She was tempted to say no out of spite, but stopped herself. 

Not a moment too soon, the tables were vacated and Meryl was left to clean up. She placed all of the dishes into a tray and placed them on the bar. The tables had to be wiped to a gleam before she could start dishes. 

It was easy to let her mind wander as she cleaned. Meryl almost didn't hear heavy footsteps and whistling behind her. All too late, Meryl looked over her shoulder to see the tray of dirty dishes gone. Meryl rolled her eyes. She rushed cleaning the tables to find Vash running soapy water in the sink. Her tray was sitting on the counter right next to him. Meryl started drying. 

“Hey!” Vash exclaimed with a smile. “Put that towel down!”

Meryl didn’t and continued on. “You know this is going to go faster if you let me help. Besides, it’s not as though there’s much else going on for the moment.”

“Everyone left?”

“Yeah.”

“Might be a good time for a snack then,” Vash said wistfully.

A small smile grew on Meryl’s face. “After we’re done with this.”

“That’s so mean!” Vash said with a characteristic whine. “I haven’t had anything to eat today.”

“I saw you eat a full breakfast this morning. What is your stomach, anyways? A black hole?”

Meryl saw the color drain from Vash’s face. He stared down at the dishwater nervously, mulling over how he could even reply to what Meryl had meant as a joke. She tilted her head to get a better look at the pursed expression. She glanced to his right forearm, remembering the way it twisted into electrified wood. “Vash?”

“It’s complicated,” Vash said finally. “Knives always knew more about… it . But, creating matter, destroying matter.  It takes a lot of energy. Just existing takes a lot of energy.”

“High metabolism, then?”

“Something like that.”

They settled back into a comfortable silence as they worked to finish up the dishes. Like Meryl said, the chore didn’t take too long and Vash was free to make his snack. Or lunch. He was pulling out an onion to chop up. What in the world was he making?

Meryl would probably never know as Agatha waltzed into the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes in slight confusion as she saw Vash’s onion. “Do you two have a moment?”

“Uh… sure,” Meryl mumbled, glancing between Agatha and Vash.

“I have a delivery of vegetables over at the dry goods store.”

Meryl narrowed her eyes. She was starting to tear up from the fumes as Vash rushed. “Don’t they usually deliver here directly?”

Agatha sighed, “Yes. Yes, they do. But they hired a new delivery man. The young man got a mix up. It’ll just be this once.”

“I’ll be right back.”

She began to turn on her heel to leave when Agatha stopped her. “You’re both going to have to go. It was a big order and you won’t be able to get all of it, Meryl. Even with the cart.”

Both women watched Vash physically deflate. Sadly he put the knife down. There were tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, but that could have just been the onion fumes. “Sorry! I don’t mean to be crying. It’s just– Jesus Christ, this onion’s really strong!” He started wiping the tears from his eyes with his bare hand and immediately started yelling. “Fuck!”

“Wash your hands first!” Meryl exclaimed, already dampening a cloth with fresh water. She started wiping some of the onion fumes away from his face and fingers. “You have to be more careful.”

“Why are you cutting an onion in the first place?”

“I was hungry…” Vash admitted sheepishly. He swatted Meryl away and used his sleeve to wipe away the last of his tears. Meryl nearly laughed at how red and puffy his face was. “I thought I’d be able to make rice.”

Agatha arched her brow, “Did you need a whole onion?”

“I was going to make some for Meryl too.”

The old woman sighed again. “Okay, well… You and Meryl go pick up the delivery. I’ll finish this up.”

Vash smiled as best he could and went to fetch the cart. Meryl took off her apron before going to meet Vash on the street. She was still trying not to snicker at how awful his face looked. But the fresh air away from onions might do him so good. For a moment, she wondered if he would be okay cutting up peppers and chilis. 

The general goods store was a short walk away. Meryl’s mind focused on the sound of the wheels against the dirt road. She sighed, “Do you think we’ll ever get paved roads all the way out here?”

“I… don’t know. LR only just got water and it’s not as though there’s a lot of traffic.”

“There’s a bus that comes from Wednes Bay every few days.”

Vash perked up, “Wait, seriously?”

“You didn’t notice?” Meryl chuckled. “Agatha and her group of grannies were all excited about it. They were all planning a weekend trip a while back.”

The look of astonishment on Vash’s face softened as they approached the store. There was no sign of the delivery truck anywhere besides a few tire tracks in dirt. Vash had to leave the cart outside of the store. He didn’t really need her to confirm a delivery. Even he couldn’t mess that up. 

It was a few minutes of lounging on the cart in the sun when Meryl’s skin broke into chills as she recognized a gravelly voice down the street

Meryl’s blood went cold as she craned her neck down the street and saw the group of out of town ranchers she served earlier. With them was the man that tried to harass her. The one that Vash made an example of. They hadn’t noticed her yet as they loitered around. That was good. She knew that nothing would happen. But she still couldn’t help but feel anxious. 

Thankfully Vash was already loading up crates of fruits and vegetables. He paused when he noticed the tense look on Meryl’s face. “You good there?”

A strained laugh escaped Meryl’s throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Vash started obviously looking around the area to see what had spooked her. Meryl almost leapt up to stop him. Instead she felt the blood drain from her face as Vash saw the group of ranchers and scowled. He was practically bristling. “I can say something–”

“No,” Meryl interrupted. “It’s fine. They haven’t done anything.”

Vash glanced between her and the ranchers. His scowl never fully left. He was still thinking as he loaded the delivery crates onto the cart. Meryl helped only so she would be a little more out of sight. 

All too soon, the group started moving only to pause when they spotted Vash’s wiry frame outside by the cart. He shoved Meryl back inside when they noticed their souring expressions. She nearly tripped over her feet as she passed through the threshold. Panic settled in her stomach as she could make out only a few words. Yells and thinly veiled insults. Through the window, Meryl could see Vash trying to play dumb, holding his hands up in a gesture of peace. It didn’t seem to be working as the one ranchers got up in his face. One of the crates toppled from the cart and spilled a bunch of vegetables into the street. 

Meryl jumped as Vash threw a punch. The expression on his face was as astonished as the ranchers harassing him were. A silent moment passed and Meryl’s chest went tight. Then all hell broke loose. 

Vash materialized in the doorway and grabbed onto her hand, pulling her further into the store. The clerk at the front desk yelled something indecipherable as Vash led Meryl through the back rooms and out into the alleyway. 

It wasn’t until they were several streets away that Vash felt safe enough to stop.

Meryl leaned against a wall and held a hand to her chest as she fought to catch her breath. Apparently she needed to get back into shape. She looked back to Vash with a frown. “What the fuck happened back there?”

“I… uh, I punched that guy.”

“But why?” Meryl hissed through her teeth. “You literally just keep making things harder for yourself!”

“It’s not like I mean to! They keep starting shit!”

“That doesn’t mean you need to finish it!”

“You didn't hear what they were saying.”

“Oh? I doubt it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. People–” 

Vash’s face fell. “It was stuff about you.”

That made Meryl pause. She reached out for Vash’s arm only to pull away at the last second. “Vash, you don’t have to protect me like that. It’s just words. I’m used to it.”

Spinning to face her, Vash closed the distance between them. He took a hold of her hand gently, absentmindedly thumbing over her knuckles. But Meryl couldn’t look away from Vash’s eyes. They were shining. Sharp. Attentive. Meryl could drown in those eyes if she wasn’t careful.

“I don’t care. I want you to– You’re important to me, Meryl.”

She almost didn't realize that Vash took a step forward until her back pressed into the wall behind her. The breath in her throat hitched.

“Vash… I–”

“I know you can take care of yourself. You’ve taken care of all of us for so long!”

Meryl couldn’t ignore the wobble in his voice or the way his eyes softened. It made her chest tight. She didn’t like this feeling. She thought she knew what Vash was saying. She didn’t know how to feel. She couldn’t name it. The blood in her veins pounded in her ears.

“I just… I want to–”

Why wasn’t he saying it ? 

Without thinking, Meryl pulled Vash down to her level by his lapels. She kissed him roughly, hungrily. For a moment, Vash stood there, wide eyed. But then he kissed her back. He kissed her back.

“Meryl!”

Attention pulled away, Meryl pulled away and stared at Vash. Her head was swimming.

“Meryl Stryfe!”

Whoever was calling her sounded panicked. Sucking in a  breath of disbelief, Meryl left Vash alone. Looking down the street, she saw Talia of all people running up and down the street calling her name. Any thoughts of Vash vanished as Meryl ran up to Talia.

The relief on Talia’s face was obvious. “Oh my god! Where were you?”

Meryl placed her hands on Talia’s shoulders in an effort to calm the woman down. “What happened?”

Talia sucked in a breath, on the verge of tears. Meryl’s stomach dropped.

“It’s Milly!”

…

Meryl couldn’t run to the clinic fast enough. She left Talia far behind, not staying long enough to even hear what happened. She nearly tripped on the threshold. The receptionist at the front desk gasped before Meryl could catch herself.

“Miss Stryfe?”

Meryl perked up, trying desperately to compose herself. Her voice cracked. “Yes. I’m here for Milly!”

“I know,” the receptionist said with a fair amount of exasperation. “Come on, follow me. She’s in the back.”

The anxiety in Meryl’s stomach churned as she finally saw Milly sitting on an exam table with her arms folded over her stomach. She was staring at the mid-distance with a look of mild discomfort on her face. And when Milly saw that her friend had come, she began to tear up. Meryl wasted no time in taking a seat next to her. She grabbed ahold of Milly’s hands and rubbed her thumb over her knuckles. “It's okay I’m here,” Meryl muttered. “I’m here.”

After a moment, Milly let go of a shaky breath and calmed a little. Meryl smiled. “What happened?”

As Milly was about to answer when Talia burst in through the door. Her eyes were frantic until she saw meryl next to Milly. “I didn’t know you were so fast!”

“You didn’t tell me what happened!”

“You didn’t stay to listen!” Talia retorted. She turned to Milly. “Has the doc checked you out yet?”

Milly nodded, “He did.”

“Wait!” Meryl interrupted. Her voice was strained, “What happened?”

“I was at town hall for some paperwork. And Miss Talia here was trying to get this massive box from a tall shelf. And she’s barely taller than you, ma’am–”

“Hey!”

Meryl looked over to see that Talia’s annoyance was mostly playful. “She’s not wrong.”

“Well, anyways,” Milly continued, “I may have taken a bit of a tumble.”

A tumble? A TUMBLE?

She must have seen the astonishment on Meryl’s face because Milly looked guilty. Meryl tried to soften her posture. Milly was hurt and didn’t need someone yelling at her.

“I felt something pull and then started bleeding. I rushed right over.”

Meryl’s mouth opened and closed as she failed to find the words.

“The doctor was able to find a heartbeat and I felt him kick. So, he’s fine. My baby’s fine.”

Talia groaned with a roll of her eyes before her gaze turned sullen. “It’s really my fault for letting Milly try to get that box down.”

“It’s no one’s fault. It was just an accident,” Meryl reassured. “Everyone is mostly okay. But what else did the doctor say?”

“Bed rest for two weeks. The bleeding stopped. But he wants to make sure the rest of the placenta doesn’t detach. I am so sorry,” Milly mumbled. She was starting to cry. Meryl’s chest tightened and she wasted no time in bringing Milly into an embrace. She ran her fingers through her hair. In a few moments, Meryl’s shoulder became damp.

“No… No, don’t apologize. Let’s get you home.”

After thanking Talia for her help, Meryl led Milly back home. Agatha would understand why Meryl wouldn’t be able to finish out the day if she knew. Besides, Vash could cover for her. Her mind lingered on the moment they had in that alleyway.

Meryl paused.

Why did she feel guilty?

…

As expected, Vash didn’t get home until late that evening. Meryl was busy in the kitchen. Dinner was almost done. It was the least she could do after ditching him halfway through the day. She didn’t look over as he took his usual spot at the counter next to her. Vash tried to lean on her but Meryl only pulled away. She didn’t need to look up to know that he was probably regarding her with confusion.

A moment passed and Vash went back to watching Meryl cook. “So… Is everything okay?”

Meryl still didn’t look up. “Yeah. Milly’s fine. Just had a bit of a scare and the doctor put her on bed rest for a while.”

“Oh! And the baby?”

“He’s okay.”

Vash sighed with relief. “Good. Are you taking off a few days, then? I can tell Agatha for you.”

“No. I think Milly’s going to be okay. But, maybe we can convince Knives to be a little more mindful when we’re at work. And when I get back, I can take over.”

“Take over what?”

“Caring for Milly obviously. She’s not in any state to be by herself right now.”

Another moment of silence followed. Meryl stirred the stir fry she was making for dinner before beginning to heat up the broth she was making for Milly. Her stomach had been sour since they’d come back from the clinic but she still needed something. Hopefully the broth would do.

Vash folded his arms across his chest while his gaze went downwards. It was obvious his mind was stuck on something. “So… About earlier…”

Immediately, Meryl bristled. “That was my bad. I should have at least let you know I had to skip the rest of work. Dinner wasn’t too bad was it?”

“No,” Vash shook his head. But his expression twisted. “Dinner was fine. But about the other thing…”

“What other thing?”

“In the alleyway. You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back.”

Vash glanced away, hunching forward. He hummed, “I did, didn’t I? And then–”

“Milly needed me,” Meryl interrupted.

“And what if she didn’t? What would have happened?”

Meryl scowled. “Vash, you’re reading too much into it.”

“Oh?” Vash’s expression now matched Meryl’s. “You kissed me!”

“And that was a mistake!”

Meryl sucked in a breath as she stared at Vash with a look of desperation. She watched the color drain from his face and her heart broke. The expression on his face turned from disbelief to betrayal to sorrow in the matter of an instant. The frustration that had just filled her chest grew rancid. There wasn’t any way she could take back what she’d said. 

She wanted to cry. She wanted to hug him again. Hold him close. But she’d said too much. Her eyes scrunched closed so she couldn’t see his face. It was the only way she could keep what little composure she had left.

“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I wish I could tell you what I was thinking, but I wasn’t, Vash. It was just a dumb impulse. It was nothing,” Meryl continued.

Vash reached out for her but Meryl stepped back. 

“I can’t… I can’t waste time on impulses when Milly needs me.” 

Meryl could smell the vegetables and sauce burning in her pan. But she didn’t turn the stove off. 

“But what about you? What about your needs?” Vash’s voice was quiet. Pitiful. 

Meryl hated it. 

“I’m fine, Vash. My needs can wait when Milly needs all the support she can get. You have to understand that she takes precedence. And even if she didn’t, it’s not as though I have the time or the energy to even think about anything else. Because I was playing around with you, not working. Not taking care of Milly or the house or you. And Milly got hurt! I promised that I wouldn’t let that happen!”

Vash’s gaze didn’t move from Meryl. 

The fire in Meryl’s chest withered and her posture slumped. She turned back to the stir fry burning onto the pan. “It was nothing, Vash. That kiss wasn’t anything.”

Nodding, Vash finally turned back to the stove. It was hard not to notice the way he looked so disappointed. Meryl gulped and tried to recompose herself. She was better than this. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, I was thinking about it too much. I’ll forget it happened.”

“I need to get this broth to Milly.”

Mechanically, Meryl transferred the broth to a bowl and left.

Chapter Text

Agatha had lived long enough to know how to read people. She’d been married for nearly forty years and raised four fairly well adjusted children. Even as a teenager in LR, Agatha made an effort to take part in town affairs and now in her old age, she was a well respected pillar of the community. She’d seen folks come and go and tried to leave everyone she met better than how she found them. Some people stayed long enough for her to really get to know them though by now it didn’t take too long to know a person’s character.

And as much as she masked herself, Miss Meryl Stryfe still wore her heart on her sleeve. It took barely half an hour to know that Meryl was prone to overfilling her plate and holding everything in until she blew up. It reminded Agatha of her oldest daughter. She hired Meryl immediately. 

Over the last few months, Meryl had eased up. Agatha knew her change in demeanor had something to do with Vash. How could it not?

She’d seen that way those two looked at each other when they didn't think anyone would notice. That boy looked at Meryl like she was the most important person in the world. And Meryl had treated Vash a little more gently than anyone else. 

It was great fun watching them. The way Meryl and Vash danced around the feelings that were otherwise obvious to everyone else made for an unending well of gossip.

But that had soured.

It happened the same day Miss Thompson had her accident. And Agatha could understand Meryl’s distress. From what she could glean, the two young women had been connected at the hip for years. Even when Vash had disappeared for those two months, Milly had stuck around. They took care of each other. But Milly was fine now! Whatever anxieties Meryl had would have faded by now, even by her standards. 

The sullen mood had lingered for more than a week. It hadn’t affected her work ethic. If anything, Meryl was working more than ever. Agatha was trying her best to curb the instinct as much as she could. Vash usually helped. But even he was feeling off. Even at the worst of times, Vash had his own mask to put up. 

Eventually enough was going to be enough and their antics weren’t going to be cute anymore.

Meryl was bringing in a tub of dirty dishes when Agatha finally cornered her in the kitchen. She didn’t put on any pretenses. That would have only scared her. 

“Meryl? Can we talk for a moment”

“Uh… Yes, Agatha?”

The older woman nearly grimaced at the obvious panic in Meryl’s voice and posture. Maybe there was no good way to go about this…

“Is everything okay?”

Meryl only appeared confused. “What do you mean by everything? Because, yeah. Things are fine.”

“What about at home? With Miss Thompson? I heard she was at the clinic for a while.”

She watched Meryl think for a moment before turning back to the sink and running the water. The scent of soap filled the room. “Milly is… She’s on her feet. Nothing happened. Back at work with stipulations. The baby is fine.”

“And Vash?”

“He’s his own person,” Meryl said coldly. “Vash seems okay to me.”

Agatha hummed, “You two barely talk when you’re working unless necessary.”

Meryl shrugged, “The quiet’s nice.”

“And what about you? I’ve noticed that you’ve been spending more and more time here at work.”

“It’s not a problem, is it?”

“Well, I suppose not,” Agatha mused. “But I just wanted to make sure you were–”

“I’m fine, ma’am.” Meryl was curt. Cold. Agatha had never seen her quite like that. Meryl skirted and deflected around uncomfortable topics before. She’d certainly moped before. But this was different. So much worse if Agatha had any say in it. And she had her suspicions.

“Did something happen? Between you and Vash?”

Meryl’s face twisted momentarily. It was the same expression she held when they found out about Talia. But that had been months ago. Agatha placed a hand on Meryl’s back as the younger woman stared at the cooling, dirty water in the sink. 

“Nothing happened.” Meryl sucked in a breath. “Nothing happened and everyone’s fine and I am fine. Vash knows that nothing happened.”

Vash knows nothing happened? What in the blazes did that mean? Agatha felt her chest tighten the longer she thought on it. Meryl was punishing herself. She would never tell anyone why. Not even Vash. Vash was her person. Why couldn’t she let herself believe that?

Why couldn’t she let herself believe that she deserved nice things too?

Agatha watched as Meryl drained the water. Her eyes looked wet, even though Meryl tried to hide it. The older woman rubbed circles into her shoulder. “If anything does happen, I hope you know I am always here to listen.”

Meryl sucked in a deep breath and the tension in the small space between them reached a peak

Finally, the younger woman let the damn break. There was so much that she’d been holding onto. And Agatha wouldn’t let her cry alone.

…

Vash opened the front door with a groan. The door was hardly ever locked these days, but the wood was warped after years of exposure to the elements. It was always Vash’s luck that the door was stuck and hard to open. WD-40 or butter never helped. Only Meryl usually had the magic touch.

But she hadn’t walked home with him. 

It was after the lunch rush. The few short hours where they could relax and take care of errands or take a nap. Vash liked going home for a meal. Sometimes Meryl would come with. But that had been weeks ago. An eternity. Nowadays, Meryl barely spoke two words to him. He could only guess as to why. It was an educated guess, but still fantasy.

She’d asked him to forget. But how could he? How could he forget something like that ?

Almost mechanically, Vash made his way into the kitchen. There was some left over chicken rice that sounded pretty good. It wouldn’t take too long to heat up in the pan. 

“Mr. Vash?”

The plant shrieked when he finally noticed Milly sitting down at the table. Or at least he tried not to. He failed fantastically. The chair she was sitting in was pushed almost to the middle of the floor so that her belly wasn’t scrunched up against the lip of the table. Her cup of tea was almost out of reach. Vash had no idea how she could stand it! Well, at least it wasn’t a problem he would ever have. 

“How long have you been sitting there?”

Milly shrugged, “Half an hour? I dunno. I wanted a little beak from the bedroom.”

Vash’s brow furrowed, “I thought you were allowed to go back to work?”

“Just part time for now. But it's better than an early maternity leave. Takes my mind off of things.”

“Off of Meryl?”

Milly’s bewildering expression said it all. It was the one Milly wore when she felt guilty. It didn’t look natural on Milly’s face. He wished he didn’t know all of a sudden. But it wasn’t as though Meryl was making her help subtle. She was worried– about a lot. But that didn’t mean what she was doing was right either. Milly needed rest and a schedule and– Vash couldn’t help but feel frustrated on Milly’s behalf. 

“I could talk to her if you want,” he offered. 

Meryl hadn’t been talking to him. 

Milly smiled softly, “No, it's fine. She’s going through some stuff. I’ve seen her do this before.”

“Right… Kinda makes sense for her. She is pretty neurotic.” Vash tried to laugh at himself, but the sound was strained. “But you know her better than I do.”

“Yeah. It’ll be fine. Meryl will come down after a while. She’s got some stuff to work through.”

“I think… I might know why…”

Milly tilted her head in confusion. “Oh? Did something happen?”

Vash’s heart nearly stopped. It felt as though his lungs were constricting. He promised Meryl he would forget it. And it wasn’t as though he had any right to spill Meryl’s secrets.

“Something did happen,” Milly continued, eyes going wide. Then she grinned. “Wow. I was hoping you two would work it out! Took you long enough.”

“ What took long enough?”

Silence ate the oxygen in the room as Milly’s fleeting grin disappeared. “You two didn’t work things out?” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the bewildered expression on Vash’s face as he actively tried not to think about what happened. “You know a lie of omission is still a lie. That’s what mama always told me and that’s what I’ll tell him.”

Vash nearly laughed. “You’re going to be a terrifying mother!”

“And I’m going to be a terrifying friend. Spill. What happened with you and Meryl?”

“It’s not… She told me to forget it.”

“But you haven’t.”

Stomach clenching, Vash nearly doubled over. Maybe talking would be helpful. Besides, Milly knew Meryl best. His mouth was horrifically dry but Vash tried anyway, “So… We, uh… We kissed.”

“ You what ?” Milly screamed, jumping up and slamming her hands on the table. 

“We kissed,” Vash repeated. “I don’t know what the reason was. We were just running away from those ranch creeps and we were arguing. Sort of. Like usual. You know what Meryl is like! She thinks she can fix everything. She can’t. Meryl literally can’t! She needs help.”

Milly nodded “Okay. So you two were arguing about usual Meryl issues.”

“Yep. And… I may have said…” Vash’s voice went quiet and strained. “She was important to me.”

“And you kissed her?”

“She kissed me!

The shock on Milly’s face was blatant. “And?”

“And what? There’s nothing else to say! Talia said you were in the hospital and she ran off. And when I tried to ask her about it later, she said to forget the whole thing.”

“What? What did you do?”

Vash’s eyes went wide, “What makes you think I did something?”

“Because it's you!” Milly laughed. “And she was crying when she came up to give me dinner that night.”

“Was she?”

Milly scowled, “Well, don’t act so shocked! You’re the only thing that makes her cry, you know.”

“Crying and telling me to shove off after. Yeah, real clear communication there…”

“Mr. Vash–”

“If she’s so upset, she doesn't have to stay here. Meryl is free to go at any point!” Vash exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. “She’s not– she’s not happy here!”

“Mr. Vash, has it ever occurred to you that Meryl wanted to stay?”

“I can’t even fathom why right now!”

“Because she’s in love with you!” Milly shouted back. 

Vash couldn’t process the words. He could barely hear Milly over the pounding blood in his ears. That couldn’t have been true. That had to have been impossible. It was Meryl. Meryl didn’t have a rosy feeling for anyone but Milly.

“She’s been in love with you for years. Before you blew that hole in the moon. You really didn’t know?”

He still couldn’t seem to answer. 

“That’s why we stayed. It’s why Meryl stayed. She was worried she would never see you again after you left to bring back Mr. Knives. And when you were out cold before that? Meryl was so worried about you! She was scared of losing you.”

Vash’s stomach churned. Milly’s statement still seemed so fake. “Why though? Why the fuck is she in love with me?”

Milly only shrugged, “Does she need a reason?”

“It’s Meryl,” Vash retorted. His voice was suddenly wet. “She always has a reason.”

“It’s not my place to say. She has to be the one to tell you that.”

“Then— Then why the fuck did she try to deny everything?”

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Vash was too busy holding his breath to keep whatever composure he had left. He still had to go back to work after this. How could he, though? After hearing this?

“Because she doesn’t want to lose you. It's easier for her to keep everything the same and deny her own feelings in case she ruins what peace she worked so hard for,” Milly explained softly.

Vash stared at the floor with bewilderment. Why did she think she couldn’t tell him anything? Was he that unapproachable?

“I told her how much she meant to me…”

Milly got up from the table and crossed the room to meet him. Her hand went to his cheek. It was supposed to be a comfort. But it wasn’t Meryl’s hand. It wasn’t the one Vash wanted to touch him like this. Milly’s smile faltered. “But that doesn’t mean that you can give her what she needs. And if this is as close as she gets, Meryl will convince herself it's close enough.”

Vash felt his heart crack the more he thought about Meryl.

“May I ask a personal question, Mr. Vash?”

“I mean, you’ve already figured out all of my deepest secrets by now.”

Milly scowled, “Don't be sarcastic with me! This is important. Now… You said that Meryl was important to you. But how important?”

“I… I don’t know. She’s important to me!”

Milly breathed deep. “Do you… Do you love Meryl?”

Vash could still hardly make heads or tails of what was going on. Did Milly expect him to sort out all of his feelings in the span of ten minutes? Apparently. Only, Vash’s mind was too sluggish to think. He cared about her. She was always the first person he turned to for help or reassurance. He’d taken on work if only to help her. And…

 Meryl loved him.

Meryl loved him.

Meryl… loved him.

His heart almost stopped beating. Tears began to run down his face. How embarrassing. How could he ever face her now? “I don’t know.”

Milly continued to plow forward. “Do you think you could ever?”

Vash didn’t– couldn’t– answer.

“I… may have said too much,” Milly muttered sadly. “But even if you don’t share her feelings or if she never tells you herself, please be gentle with her. Be gentle with my best friend.”

Vash nodded, holding Milly’s hand to his cheek. “I will, Milly. I promise.”

…

Vash was barely able to regain his composure by the time he had to return to work. Thankfully it was the dinner shift. Things were going to be busy and he wouldn’t have time to think about his conversation with Milly or that Meryl kissed him and he kissed Meryl. But wasn’t that what Meryl did to avoid her problems? Wasn’t that what Meryl had been doing for the past few weeks?

It made him feel awful.

He helped Agatha in the kitchen. Or rather Agatha had abandoned him in the kitchen to talk to her gaggle of old lady friends. That was fine. He didn’t think he could face too many people tonight anyways. He didn’t think the day was going to be as stressful as it was. Meryl really was stronger than she looked. He apparently wasn’t. He was hiding in the kitchen for fuck’s sake.

But Vash could stew in his shame after work. Until then he had to keep up with orders. He could hear Meryl greeting and serving townsfolk outside. Occasionally, she’d run a ticket in. 

Vash could barely look her in the eye. But Meryl had been all work. As though nothing happened. Maybe things would go back to normal finally.

He thought about Milly while he started toasting bread for a club sandwich. Did he want things to go back to normal? Vash had no idea.

The whole revelation left him so confused. 

“Vash!”

The plant nearly shrieked and noticed the bread was nearly burnt on one side. He flipped it before looking over his shoulder. Meryl was standing in the doorway, holding another order ticket. Her pen was tucked cutely behind her ear and there were alcohol stains on her apron already. But Meryl’s eyes were wide and bright. How long had it been since Vash had seen her like that? He couldn’t help the soft smile on his face.

Meryl arched her brow curiously. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah,” Vash started, turning back to the sandwich. “Just, uh… Getting into a groove.” 

She came further into the kitchen, placing the order tickets onto the rack above Vash. He couldn’t help but groan. Unfortunately, Meryl caught on. She pushed past him to grab a cutting board and a few slices of the bread Vash had out.

He tried to push her out of the way to no avail. “What in the world are you doing?” he asked with a slight chuckle. 

“When was the last time you’ve eaten?”

Oh! 

Vash couldn’t really give her an answer. He had gone for lunch, but had lost his appetite. Meryl knew him too well. Guilt started to eat the tips of his fingers.

“You don’t have to make me a snack you know,”  Vash whined.

Meryl was spreading a generous layer of mayonnaise on the bread. “You make me food all of the time.”

“But it's the dinner shift. I can’t really–”

“Yes, you can,” Meryl insisted. Next came lettuce and tomato followed by a generous helping of sliced toma. “You can’t really work unless you take care of yourself.” Meryl offered the pretty looking sandwich on a plate and placed her hand gently on his arm. Vash couldn’t help but tense up, staring at the tiny hand on his bicep. “Now, come on. Eat up. Sometimes you’re worse than me.”

“No, I'm not!”

Meryl sighed, “I know what you’re like when you’re overwhelmed. I’ll get Agatha to come back before things get too busy.”

Vash finished plating the club sandwich with a generous helping of chips and handed it off to Meryl to take out. He didn’t want her to go and move her hand. But that would have been too much, right?

“Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Meryl said with a slight nod. She squeezed his arm slightly then left.

Vash stared at the sandwich she left him. Since when had Meryl been doing small things like this? Vash tried to think back. He recalled the gentle way she’d taken care of him after their arrival to this hamlet. Then he could remember the soft, wistful smile she had on her face when they reunited after his hiatus. And before that, before he blew a hole in the moon and destroyed another city and countless lives along with it, Meryl was still chasing after him. She had been so desperate to keep him safe.

Maybe Milly had been right. Maybe Meryl really was in love with him. There were so many signs. So many little messages. The Iron Lady cared about only a few select things. And he was one of them.

How had Vash not noticed before?

Chapter Text

Fluttering kicks woke her up just as the mother sun was rising. Milly groaned awake. She hadn’t gotten exactly as much sleep as she wanted. But that was fine. The baby wanted to be up and see the world and Milly didn’t mind. The dawn light was pretty anyways. 

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Milly finally sat up. She had to lean against the headboard to support her and her baby’s weight. Funny how much more she ballooned out over the last few weeks. Again, it was something Milly expected– she’d seen her own sisters’ pregnancies play out before. But seeing her own body change and grow like this was something else. Overwhelming almost. At least it had been an easy go. The Thompsons were known for growing things.

For the moment, Milly let herself relax and survey the room. Most everything she needed was put together and decorated. She painted little flowers on the crib’s headboard with the little free time she had. They were messy and imperfect, just like real flowers. And, honestly, that was the state of most everything she had. Even the little onesies and baby blankets Agatha’s friends had dropped off were second hand. But there was something sweet about that. Her little one would be another in a long legacy.

Probably. Maybe.

Milly knew that she’d been overly flowery and idealistic recently. Meryl had laughed when she pointed it out. Milly felt a little silly. But at least she could chalk it up to the hormones. It felt like an easy answer, but Milly didn’t care all that much.

The baby kicked hard again, this time making Milly wince. She had half a mind to scold him. But Meryl had finally fallen asleep. She'd be livid if Milly accidentally woke her up. Ma’am was getting the bare minimum sleep. But… That was the same as ever right?

As quietly as she could, Milly got up from her bed, pulling her robe on and securing tightly. Not that it was fitting well anymore. Groaning slightly, Milly went over to a worn rocking chair tucked into a corner between the window and the crib. Somehow this felt easier than lying down.

Her mind wandered further. Soon enough there’d be a small person in that crib. In her arms while she sat in the chair. It was what she’d been looking forward to so much for the last eight months.

Only… 

Milly was concerned that she hadn’t done enough. Was there enough space for her son to grow and learn in? He had to share a room with her and Meryl after all. That didn’t leave exactly a lot of room for toys or books, let alone a proper playpen. There was barely enough room for the essentials. And if Milly asked Meryl to leave, she would gladly, assuming that making herself small and available was the only thing she was meant for anymore. She probably wasn’t aware, but Milly hated how passive aggressive Meryl was being. But there were certain allowances and accommodations Milly needed.

Quiet and space. Her son came first now. 

And Meryl had been treating her as though she needed everything done. No matter how much Milly protested, having shown she was more than capable of taking care of herself and her child, Meryl treated her like fine porcelain. That wasn’t what she needed now. 

And that wasn’t even considering the emotional mess Meryl was on a daily basis. Everything had to be under strict control and Meryl had to be the one to control it. And of course, if it wasn’t quite right, which was impossible given that most of their inconveniences originated from the plants in the household, she took it personally. That was the way Meryl had always been when she was avoiding her own personal problems. And Milly was always the person who set Meryl back on track. It always fell to patient, caring Milly Thompson.

And this time, Milly didn’t have the energy to help Meryl and Meryl’s instability was only making her feel worse. Of course, Milly understood the cycle of despair. She felt… guilty. It was her job to help her friend, right?

Meryl was doing her best to help Milly even if the intention wasn’t quite selfless.

With a sigh, Milly leaned back in her chair, cradling the massive swell of her abdomen.

Circumstances could have been better. Circumstances should have been better. If Nicolas were still here, he would have stopped the world from turning to make sure their little family had everything they needed. Sometimes Milly daydreamed about the little house and church they would have had. Their son would have had ample playmates at the orphanage. Their life would have been wonderful. Beautiful even when it wasn’t.

Or maybe Meryl was right. Maybe Milly should have gone back to the ranch. She’d be bombarded by questions from her family but they would have accepted her and her son without hesitation. They would have built her a little bungalow for them to have a bit of privacy. Maybe not perfect, but Milly wouldn't have a shortage of helping hands. 

Instead, she found herself in a two room farmhouse with four full grown adults. Her baby wasn’t even born yet and he was already fighting for space. And the adults she trusted to look after him worked full time just to keep the household afloat. Milly was stressed all of the time!

But Ma’am, Mr. Vash, and Mr. Knives were her family now, right? And it wasn’t as though their new community here in LR wasn’t ready to help at the drop of a hat. Milly just needed to remind herself to take a deep breath.

And when she did this time, Milly swore she felt a strange pressure in the lower part of her belly. It didn’t hurt per se, but the sensation made her gasp. One of her hands grasped tightly onto the arm of her rocking chair while Milly breathed steadily in and out. And almost as suddenly as it came, the feeling was gone. Milly hung her head back and inhaled deeply.

Her mama had warned about little contractions that started a few weeks before delivery. Something like false labor. Her middle sister had thought she’d begun labor three times because of them. That's what this was. It had to have been. Just some one off contraction.

Totally normal. 

Nothing to worry about!

After another moment of regular, steady breathing, Milly’s body relaxed. Her lungs were able to fill up in a way she forgot they could. 

Eyes growing heavy again, Milly looked over to the pair of beds on the other side of the tiny room.

Meryl was a lump, blissfully unaware of the concerns that ran amok in Milly’s head. And Milly was tempted to tell her. It would be good for everyone if Milly forced everything into the open air. Hell! She pretty much already did! Not that the idiots she lived with did anything productive with the information… They only made her life harder in the end.

Finally, Milly was able to pull herself out of the rocking chair and back into bed. Maybe… She would talk to Meryl in the morning.

…

“Wasn’t Agatha going to teach you how to make those crepes today?”

“I already know how to make crepes! I can literally make anything. I’m a century and half old.”

“Yeah, sure. You can make anything. You’re an old man. But that doesn’t mean you can make things well.”

“Hence why Agatha wanted to teach me how to make crepes. I’ll get good enough that even you won’t get enough. You’ll be able to use them as currency!”

“That’ll be the day.”

“You like the other pastries I make!”

Meryl grimaced. Vash was right. And he was smirking because he knew it. They were both in the kitchen in various states of preparedness for work. Vash’s uniform was rumpled– he must have slept in it again- while Meryl was still in pajamas. Her eyelids were still heavy as she sipped hastily made coffee. It was watered down but Meryl needed the caffeine. Milly was up late and Meryl kept waking up. Vash was busy frying up sausages and eggs. 

Nothing good to retort back came to mind however. Meryl did have a soft spot for his cinnamon buns. Despite what she expected, he never made them too sweet, instead relying on the flavor of the spices to make them good. But that wasn’t the point! “Are crepes actually pastries, though?”

“I thought they were.”

The room was silent while Meryl thought about the crepes. “I thought you made them like pancakes.”

“Yeah, you fry them in a skillet then fill and fold them. Super simple. Or so I thought!”

“But that's basically a pancake with extra steps.”

Vash finally looked over his shoulder, expression bewildered, “Wait, so they aren’t pastries?

“I never thought so. Like you said, they’re not baked,” Meryl reiterated. “Every other pastry is baked. Cinnamon rolls? Baked. Eclairs? Baked. Baklava? Baked. See?”

“That makes–”

“Well, actually,” came a grating voice from the doorway. Meryl looked over, scowling, to see Knives leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His face was twisted with bored smugness. He caught sight of Meryl and smirked. “Crepes are pastries. It's based on the texture and usage. A proper French crepe is meant to be thin and flaky, similar to well laminated pastry dough. Pancakes are closer to a classic cake. Two very different things. But I suppose someone without any taste wouldn’t know that.”

Meryl nearly rose from her seat and started berating Knives. But she didn’t. Instead she bit her tongue and held tighter onto the steaming mug in front of her.

Vash’s expression fell. “Dude…”

Knife’s brow knit together as he looked over to Vash. “What’s wrong with you? You were right!”

“Yeah, sure. But that doesn’t mean you have to be an ass about it.”

“I literally wasn’t! I was stating a definition so you two didn’t have to waste anymore time on this inane conversation.”

“The way you said it was incredibly insulting though,” Meryl pointed out dryly.

“That’s your fault for taking it that way.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to be a little nicer,” Vash grumbled. He began to put his breakfast in a to-go container he’d stolen from work. “I know you don't like people, but they won't treat you any better in town if you’re so antagonistic. That goes for our family too!”

Meryl didn’t miss the cringe on Knives’s face when Vash insinuated any relation between him and another person. But then it dawned on Meryl that someone was missing. The chair squeaked awkwardly as she got up from the table.

The second floor was eerily quiet as Meryl ascended the stairs. Usually Milly was already awake. Hesitantly, Meryl knocked on their bedroom door before stepping inside. It was hard to spot Milly underneath the pile of blankets on her side of the bed. But a small amount of the tension Meryl held onto lessened when she saw Milly shift. A moment later, Meryl sat on the edge of Milly’s bed and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Milly? Are you feeling okay?”

The younger woman huffed out a little breath as she sat up against the headboard. Milly’s face was held in a grimace while she sucked a breath in through her teeth. It was impossible not to notice the purple bags under her eyes. “I’m fine, Ma’am. Just a little–”

Milly doubled over and groaned. Whatever she was feeling lasted several seconds, cementing panic in Meryl’s stomach. After several seconds, the tension Milly held onto released and Milly gulped in air.

“Milly? Are you–”

Desperately, the younger woman shook her head, “No! Nope! These are just… Hah… Just one off contractions. My sisters always had them.”

Meryl didn’t believe her for a second. Especially when Milly was hit with another contraction. “How long has this been going on?”

Sucking in a breath, Milly tried to get up. “I’m fine, Ma’am.”

“Where are you going?”

Milly had to rest a hand on the wall with another of her back, only able to walk a few steps at a time. “Just the bathroom.”

Meryl got up from the bed and tried to follow. Milly’s face was still twisted as she tried to even her breathing. But she couldn’t seem to move much further. Meryl was hesitant to touch her now as Milly waved her away before she could say anything. Still Meryl continued, “How long have you been having contractions like that? Milly, this is important.”

“I know this is important!” Milly snapped. Her posture softened a moment later but the frown remained. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I’ve been… Since last night.”

“Milly!”

“I know!”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Meryl knew she was making matters worse. Instead of continuing on, she kept quiet and went to help her friend to the next room. Only Milly stopped before they could reach the door. Meryl caught her eye to see that her friend was now on the verge of tears. “Milly?”

Embarrassment colored Milly’s expression as she glanced between Meryl and the floor. Wordlessly, Meryl followed her gaze to see a stain running down the leg of Milly’s pajama pants. Her stomach dropped.

When the tension was too much to bear, Milly doubled over again.

Meryl’s nerves were frayed when there was pounding at the door. Knives didn’t wait as he burst in, acting mildly inconvenienced. “Stryfe! Vash already left for work. Hurry up, will you? And you two have to stop shouting.”

“Meryl! This really, really hurts!”

“What the fuck is going wrong in here?”

“Meryl!”

Guilt curdled in Meryl’s guts as her attention remained divided. Milly’s fingers dug uncomfortably into Meryl’s arm as the contraction only worsened. Finally, Meryl began to lead Milly back to the bed, only for Knives to stay hunched in the doorway. Knives paused when he finally took note of the scene he barged in on. His brow furrowed when his eyes landed on Milly. “What’s wrong with her? She’s not–”

Slowly, Milly settled back against the pillows only for Meryl to add more to keep her comfortable. Tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes and she continued to hang onto Meryl.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Meryl said quietly. Her hand went to Milly’s scalp and carded gently through her hair. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise, okay? I’m going to take care of you.”

Milly didn’t answer as she curled into a fetal position. She took huge heaving breaths to try to calm herself until the pain subsided a few moments later. Slowly, Milly let the tension release a little. Meryl continued to soothe as best she could.

“You never answered my question!” Knives demanded from the back a few moments later. His face was pale when Meryl looked over. 

All the explanation he got was another groan from Milly. Her hand grabbed onto Meryl’s and squeezed until Meryl could no longer feel the tips of her fingers. Knives stepped back until his back hit the wall, eyes wide and scared.

“You two are seriously going to do this in our house?” he asked. Meryl nearly laughed when Knives’s voice cracked.

Meryl looked back to Milly questioningly. “I don’t want to move. I don’t want anything to happen,” Milly said quietly as she pawed at Meryl’s arm. “I don’t want to have my baby at the clinic.”

“Seriously?”

Milly nodded and that was that. Meryl didn’t answer Knives. “Okay. We can do this here. You’ll be safe here.”

“People live here,” Knives continued to while, “Human reproduction is disgusting enough, but to actually have Thompson give birth in our home–”

“Okay, it’s her home too!”

“I live here!” Knives shouted. “Human birth is disgusting. There's smells and blood and fecal matter. Not to mention the other fluids. And it takes hours.”

“No one is asking you to help, asshole.” Meryl turned away from Knives, trying to soften the scowl on her face. She began to help Milly get her soiled clothes off to make her more comfortable. It wasn’t as though Milly was going to need pants anyways.

“Not to mention how easily delivery goes wrong. Hence why this is an awful idea…”

Milly was able to finally pull herself up against the headboard, trying desperately to get comfortable finally. But she found little success. After a moment, she grimaced and turned to her companions, “Mr. Knives, please… shut up. You’re not helping! I already know what's happening.”

Knives rolled his eyes. “Well, apparently you need reminding why staying here is the worst course of action you can take.”

Without warning, Milly started crying. Meryl’s blood boiled.

“Knives!” Meryl hissed as she began to shove Knives back down the stairs. He fought to turn back if only for the sake of it, but Meryl wasn’t budging. “Be useful and go get the doctor.”

“What? How is this my–”

“Because this is more than you!” Meryl yelled as she finally made it to the first floor. She could hear Milly yelling from their bedroom. “Now go!”

She didn’t wait for an answer before shoving Knives out of the front door. He yelled protests but Meryl didn’t stick around to hear them. Milly needed her now. Wasting no more time, Meryl bounded up the stairs and took her place at Milly’s side.

…

It wasn’t long before Mr. Knives returned to the house. 

Milly barely heard the footsteps on the porch as she was keeping her breathing steady in an attempt to stay calm. She couldn’t tell if it was helping or not. And in the meantime, Milly hadn’t let go of Meryl’s hand. The strength of her grip waxed and waned with the waves of pain radiating in her lower abdomen. She knew she should have grabbed onto something else for stability. She could break Meryl’s fingers if she wasn’t careful. But having something to hold was comforting, especially considering it was Meryl. 

And yet…

Meryl grumbled and pinched the bridge of her nose when the front door squeaked open. After a moment, the frown on Meryl’s face morphed into a strained smile. “I’ll be right back. Do you need anything? Water? A snack? I can see what we have in the pantry.”

“No… I’m good for now. Just want to see the doctor, is all. I think it’s close,” Milly said quietly. She squeezed the tips of Meryl’s fingers as she stood up.

Meryl’s brow arched, “What’s close?”

Milly rested a hand on her abdomen and looked sadly up at Meryl. That was all the answer she could give. The color drained from Meryl’s face as the realization dawned on her. She muttered something and scurried out the door.

The sounds of footsteps descending down the stairs were quickly replaced with nearly inaudible mutterings. Of course there were shouts. It was Ma’am and Mr. Knives. There was always shouting. Milly’s chest tightened as she tried to piece together what was going on. But everything was too muffled through the door. Hesitantly, Milly got up and shuffled to the door. The hinges squealed but didn’t seem to alert the people downstairs. With measured breaths, Milly sat on the top step and tried to keep out of sight. 

“What do you mean the doctor was gone?”

“I mean that the door was locked and the building was empty. What more explanation do you want?”

“Were the lights off?”

“Yes,” Mr. Knives said flatly. “I had to break the windows to check the back room.”

Meryl shrieked. Milly could perfectly see her expression in her mind. “You what?”

“With a rock. It’s not as though I have the key.”

“Knives!”

“Anyways one of the peasants said that the clinic would be empty until next week.”

“Where did he go? Why would he just skip town?”

“Something to do with patients in another town. We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere. What did you expect?”

There was silence for what felt like an eternity. Then Meryl spoke again. The panic in her voice was obvious. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?”

“Deliver a baby! Fuck! I haven’t even held a baby before.”

“That's your fault. You made Thompson your responsibility. You were the one who kept giving her bad advice and false hope. All for some sort of power trip! You did that. Ridiculous. Even I wasn’t that horrible. Own up to it, Stryfe.”

Meryl groaned. “Yeah. I know that!” Then her voice softened. “I know that. Look, just go find Mrs. Magnolia.”

“And who the hell is that?”

“One of Agatha’s friends. She’ll have a better idea of what to do. Now go!”

Milly could no longer manage to focus on the conversation as pain rushed over her nerves all over again. All she could recognize was the door slamming closed and Meryl muttering to herself. Eventually Meryl would come up the stairs to see Milly curled up on herself and hugging her knees to her chest as best she could. Nausea, from embarrassment or shame or pain, started to eat at her guts while her body continued to quake.

Meryl kneeled next to Milly on the landing, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Milly! What are you doing out here?”

“I… I needed to walk around,” Milly said softly. She knew lying was bad but these were extraordinary circumstances.

“You’re in no state to be walking around.” Meryl waited a few moments before helping Milly back up. “And, uh… There is some bad news.” She waited for a moment for a nonexistent answer before explaining what Milly had overheard. “The doctor’s out of town and the clinic is closed down. I asked Knives to go find Mrs. Magnolia. But knowing him, it might take a while So…”

“I’m on my own?” 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Meryl tried to reassure, patting Milly’s shoulder. “You’re not alone. I’m here and I’m going to make sure you and your baby are safe.”

Milly breathed out sharply while she settled back onto the edge of the bed. “But… I don’t want that.”

“This is the best I can do, Milly. But, trust me please.” Milly sniffled, hiding her face behind her hands. Meryl leaned in close, trying to find any hint of her expression. “Milly? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just, uh…”

“It’s not nothing. What is it? Can I get you anything?”

“No. I don’t want anything.” Milly paused and tried to recompose herself. It didn’t do much. Meryl didn’t stop looking at her with concern. “I keep thinking that Mr. Knives might be right.”

Meryl’s eyes went wide. “What?”

Milly’s stomach churned, giving her no relief between increasingly frequent contractions. Who knew she could hold onto so much anxiety? But, Meryl wasn’t going to let up. She never did.

“About how you’re being so overbearing all of the time. Like you don’t think I know what’s going to happen or that I’m making the wrong decisions. And we both know that’s not true! Not at all. I can handle myself.”

Meryl’s already torn expression fell further then she looked away, scowling. “That’s not true. I know you’re more than capable! I never thought that.”

This time Milly couldn’t help her scream as the next contraction started. Her voice kept cracking. “You certainly acted that way!”

“You’re my responsibility, Milly. I meant that.”

“Exactly!” Milly shouted. She hadn’t meant to, but she couldn’t help it. “I don’t want to be a responsibility for you to take care of! This is my life! This is scary and nerve wracking and the last thing I wanted was someone telling me that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Again, Meryl’s scowl deepened. “But… I didn’t…”

Milly gulped for a deep breath. The pain was subsiding again. But not for long. “I just wanted support. I wanted Nick. But… He’s not here. He’s not here and I hate him for that. I love him so much and he deserved to be here. Nick would have wanted to be here. But… he’s not. Meryl, you’re my best friend. I never wanted to be your responsibility. I just wanted your support.”

“That’s— I, uh…” Meryl stammered. She stopped after a moment, shutting her mouth tight, determined not to speak anymore.

“And I think I know why you made what should have been my experience all about you. How is that even a decent thing to do? I hate that you did that. Why can’t you just deal with your own problems instead of using me to deflect?”

Milly’s voice rose the longer she went on. She didn’t even notice the way Meryl’s eyes fell to the blanket. Milly never stopped. All of the pain and frustration of the past few months seeped out the longer she talked.

“You're so scared of things changing and getting better that you’d rather be miserable instead of taking a chance. That’s so– so– so– Fuck!” Milly doubled over and seethed. “Why does labor hurt so fucking much!”

Meryl was still quiet and torn, but she still went to take Milly’s hand, letting her grip as tight as she wanted. And when it looked as though the pain was easing, Meryl finally looked up, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Milly.”

“Why couldn’t you just work through your own issues instead of pushing it on me? Why did you have to make everything about you?” Milly began to cry, rubbing her cheeks raw. “Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”

“I’m sorry.”

Neither of them could say anything more. Milly expected Meryl to go after her confession. But she stayed. She hugged onto Milly’s shoulder and let her nuzzle her nose into her neck, dampening Meryl’s collar. She rubbed circles into Milly’s back, rocking her back and forth. She stayed.

…

Mrs. Magnolia, a tall, willowy woman in her late sixties, didn’t have trouble finding her way upstairs. Milly was rightfully having a hard time keeping her voice quiet while Meryl did her best to coach her through the delivery. The relief in the room was palpable. The old woman smiled gently at Milly before meeting her side. Meryl shifted back, refusing to leave Milly alone. 

Meryl spoke up first, brows knitting together, “What happened to Knives?”

“Vash’s brother? Oh, I told him to stay away for a while. He’s the last person Milly needs right now.”

Meryl and Milly exchanged a glance. Mrs. Magnolia had a point.

“I should have been called earlier. But then again, your baby decided to come a month early!” Mrs. Magnolia sighed and placed the back of her hand to Milly’s head. “How are you feeling, honey?”

Milly took a deep breath, “Like my body’s being ripped apart.”

“That’s about as normal as it can get, unfortunately. How long has this been going on?”

Meryl was about to answer then stopped. She glanced over in Milly’s direction and nodded. Milly has grimaced and let the contraction pass before answering. “Last night. But my water broke only a few hours ago.”

Mrs. Magnolia sighed again before moving to the end of the bed. “One moment, hon.”

Milly didn’t bother to see what Mrs. Magnolia was doing down there. Whatever it was, it made her feel worse. Exposed in a way she didn’t expect. Meryl didn’t let go of Milly’s shoulders and kept whispering reassurances to her.

“Oh, Milly… The good news is you’re almost done with this."

“And the bad news?” Milly croaked out.

“It’s going to feel so much worse.”

…

Milly had lost track of how much time had passed as she pushed through the final stretch. Her lungs and throat felt raw and her mind had started going fuzzy at the edges. She wasn’t sure how much more of this awful experience she could take. Mrs. Magnolia, as sweet and patient as she was during this whole affair, never gave her a time frame! And Meryl was too distracted to ask.

She could barely acknowledge when Mrs. Magnolia had Meryl start to bring other supplies to her end of the bed. Something about more towels and boiling water. The daisy printed swaddling blanket Milly kept in the crib. Soon enough, Meryl went back to cradling Milly.

“All right, hon, one last time. He’s just about here!”

The next few seconds, overwhelming and dizzying, went by in an instant. And through the haze of finally being able to breathe, all Milly heard was a shrill cry. Her heart nearly stopped. Was that it? Milly glanced between Mrs. Magnolia sitting behind her upright legs and Meryl. There were massive smiles on their faces. In fact, Milly had never seen Meryl look so amazed.

The grip Milly had on Meryl lightened as she adjusted to lounge back on the pillows and headboard. “Is he… Is that him?”

Meryl nodded, speechless.

Milly choked back a sniffle. “Is he healthy?”

“Yes, he is,” Mrs. Magnolia started. “He must look so much like his father. Here you go, honey. Here he is.”

The old woman came around, holding a fussy infant, still a bit purple. He was swaddled in the daisy print blanket. And Milly couldn’t help but reach out and hold him close to her chest. She couldn’t help the tearful smile on her face while she looked at her son.

He really did look just like Nicolas. Right down from the wisps of black hair on his head and the downturned nose. And Milly couldn’t help but wonder if Nicolas would think. How happy would he have been?

How much love was their son missing out on with him gone?

Did it matter? Because Milly had more than enough to give. And now Milly couldn’t imagine a future where she didn’t love the little baby in her arms. She brought him as close as she could and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He only wiggled in response.

“Milly,” Meryl started, not able to keep her eyes off. “He’s amazing. You're going to do so well, Milly.”

Finally, Milly laughed for the first time all day. “I can only hope, Ma’am.”

“What are you going to name him?”

Milly rubbed a stray tear from her eyes while her chest went tight. It was hard to answer. But she knew. She knew the perfect name.

“Nicolas. Nicolas Thompson.”

…

It wasn’t until that evening that Vash was finally able to leave work. Fridays were always the busiest and Meryl failed to show up at all. Agatha made a few comments here and there until a few members of her old grannies club had given Meryl’s whereabouts and what was keeping her. And it wasn’t something that Agatha felt was important enough to tell Vash. They were too busy.

And while he was worried about Meryl– was she sick again? Had she collapsed or was she on the brink of death?-- he hadn’t been able to find the time to go back for a break.

Anxiety curdled in the pit of his stomach all day as Vash fulfilled orders and washed dishes. It rotted there as Vash all but sprinted back home from work. He nearly face planted in the dirt, tripping on a rock. But he made it in the end with no scrapes or cuts.

Most of the house was dark and quiet. Except for the kitchen light. Relief washed over him when he found Meryl sitting with her back turned to the door, sipping on tea. By the slumped posture of her shoulders, he knew she had a rough day.

Vash came up to the table quietly, “Hey.”

Meryl nearly shrieked as she jumped but was able to stop herself. But Vash couldn’t help but note the dark circles under her eyes. “Hey. Sorry I wasn’t at work today.”

“It’s fine,” Vash shrugged. He fidgeted nervously. “Can I sit?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

There was finally a little smile on Meryl’s face as he pulled out a chair. Vash was tempted to sit close to her, but in the end, he still left a few inches of space between them. “So… Why weren’t you able to come to the diner today?”

Meryl sighed and the exhaustion came back full force. “Uh… Milly had her baby.”

Vash huffed an incredulous laugh, “Wait, what?”

“Milly had her baby. I don’t know how else to put it.,” Meryl said with a shrug. “You’ll get to meet him tomorrow.” She finished the rest of her tea and rose from her chair with a groan. “I need to rest up for work tomorrow.”

“I can walk you up.” Vash nearly kicked himself. The desperation in his voice was too thick to hide. But he wasn’t scared to admit that he had been worried all day.

“Oh.” Meryl looked momentarily surprised. “I’m actually sleeping on the couch the next few nights. Just for a little while.”

“Why though? You have a perfectly fine bed upstairs.”

“The baby.”

“Right.”

Vash watched from the table, feeling his heart tighten up. Meryl was exhausted. Probably nothing compared to Milly. He felt a little bad caring more about Meryl. But… He couldn’t help it. Without thinking, Vash followed her to the living room. Meryl already had a pillow and blanket out. But Vash stole the blanket from her hands and with a flourish, wrapped it around her shoulders. He sat lazily against one of the arms. And when Meryl arched a brow in confusion, Vash pulled her down into his lap.

She nearly laughed, “What in the world are you doing?”

“This couch is hardly comfortable, believe me.” Vash resettled Meryl to lay against his chest as comfortably as he could. He could almost feel her relax into him. Her breaths tickled the skin of his neck.

If he thought too hard, Vash’s heart would pound against his chest thinking of how it felt to kiss her. Of how it felt when Milly said that Meryl loved him. And how Vash still didn’t have an answer. Not a good one anyways.

“Are you really going to stay with me all night?” Meryl asked jokingly.

Vash rested an arm on Meryl's back as she snuggled into him. Her eyes closed and her heartbeat slowed. It wasn’t too long before her mind would drift.

“Yeah, I am.”

Chapter Text

Vash didn’t know exactly what woke him up. If anything it was probably just his internal clock. If there was one thing he could rely on without fail, it was his ability to wake up at the crack of dawn. This morning was no different. Except this time, he found himself on the couch. Like usual, there were cricks and aches in his back and neck. Nothing he couldn’t fix with a good stretch or two. But, more surprisingly, Meryl was curled up with her head in his lap. 

No wonder he didn’t have nightmares the night before. Too bad he couldn’t do this again.

He didn’t want to jostle her. Not in any universe! But he really needed to get up. The day was starting and Saturdays were the best days for tips. Coffee and breakfast were a must if they were going to get through the day. And given the previous day’s news, Milly was going to need it too. 

Finally, Vash worked up the nerve to get up. As gently as he could, Vash lifted Meryl off him. Somehow he was still surprised by how light she was. Meryl stirred ever so slightly when he laid her back on the couch cushions. 

The light in the kitchen was already on. Vash had to rub his eyes to acclimate to the light. But there Milly was, leaning back in one of the kitchen chairs. She was still dressed in pajamas with mussed bedhead, seemingly still recovering from the day before. In all actuality, Milly was going to be recovering for months. Where the hell was the village doctor at a time like this?

He was so in his own head that Vash barely noticed the swaddled infant Milly was hanging onto for dear life. Vash’s eyes widened when he realized that was Milly’s baby.

It shouldn’t have been surprising. Meryl had told him what happened.

“Good morning, Mr. Vash,” Milly muttered. The exhaustion was obvious on her expression, but there was a gigantic smile on her face. He’d never seen Milly look so happy. “If you’re not careful, your eyeballs are gonna dry out,” she continued cheerily.

“Ah! Right,” Vash stammered. “I, uh…”

Milly only continued, keeping her voice low, “I didn’t see you yesterday. I thought that maybe Mrs. Agatha would let you come back early given…” She gestured to the baby.

Vash took the seat next to her at the table. He was still staring. “So, are you feeling okay? Shouldn’t you be upstairs in bed or something? Like bedrest? Isn’t that what people usually do?”

“That’s awfully draconian, don’t you think?” Milly said with a wry smile.

“I wouldn’t go that far. But seriously!”

Milly only shrugged, causing the newborn to wiggle ever so slightly. “I guess most people wouldn’t be able to get up quite so early. But women in my family always seemed to recover quickly. And I was pretty bored of looking at ceiling stains. And it’ll give Meryl some space to get ready for work.”

“Yeah, she mentioned sleeping on the couch for a while.”

After a moment, Milly looked back to the baby in her arms and sighed. “I’m really grateful she's letting me have the space while it's easy.”

“But?”

“Eventually it’s not going to be easy,” Milly said as though that explained things. Vash thought he understood what she meant. It wasn’t hard to see the worry in her expression.

Vash placed a hand on Milly's shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry about Meryl! We all know she loads up her plate til she–”

“Gets sick and collapses!” Milly droned on

Vash couldn’t help the little smile on his face. “Yep. That’s exactly what she does. But, I’ve got her handled. You just focus on…” Tailing off, Vash’s attention fell to the baby. He cringed. “What’s his name?”

“Oh!” Milly beamed, moving the swaddling blanket out of the way so that she could reveal the baby’s face. Vash’s chest went tight. “This is Nicolas Thompson. But, I’ve been calling him Nicky.”

“Not even twenty four hours old and you’ve already given him a nickname,” Vash chuckled. “That’s gotta be record time for you.”

“Well, Nicolas is pretty formal for a baby. Kind of a mouthful.” Looking up, Milly flashed Vash another grin. “Would you like to meet him properly?”

“Properly?”

“Yeah.” Milly shifted Nicky in her arms, eliciting a tired coo from the infant. “You’ve held babies before, right?”

Vash laughed incredulously, “What? Yeah. Of course I have. It's hard to live for nearly a century and half and not to have held a baby or two.”

In the next moment, Milly unceremoniously placed Nicky into Vash’s arms. Stunned, Vash nearly dropped the infant on his lap before finally finding an easy hold on him. He forgot how hefty babies could be. Then again, Milly and Wolfwood weren’t exactly small people either. He shouldn't have been surprised Nicky wasn’t an average sized newborn.

Still, Vash let out a sigh and let Nicky settle back into his arms. He nearly lost his breath when Nicky reached out. Vash didn’t think as he gently grabbed onto Nicky’s pudgy hand. It was so small. It wouldn't be able to fit around his pinky.

“Milly!” Vash said with a strangled voice. He couldn’t get any other words out as he stared up at his friend.

She was quiet, but Vash could hear the uncharacteristic pride, “He’s wonderful, isn’t he? I think… I think Nick would have been happy.”

“He would have been over the moon.”

A long moment of silence followed as they both focused on Nicky. The baby was blissfully unaware of the forlorn mood that was slowly encroaching. Milly reached over and caressed his face with a finger before getting up from the table.

Vash panicked, “Wait! Where are you going?”

“Just upstairs for a second. You’ll be fine. Look, see?” Milly paused and grinned. “You guys are best friends already!”

Milly didn’t listen and left before Vash could protest further. The panic still crawled over his shoulders despite his effort to relax. If Nicky noticed, he made no sign of it. Babies were really good at sensing emotions. Like Knives, Vash thought. Well, Milly would be back soon enough. 

Eventually, he heard Meryl shuffle from the couch. Somehow she looked worse than Milly did. Vash’s gaze followed her as Meryl sluggishly found her way to the coffee press. She moved through well practiced motions of measuring grounds and setting the kettle to boil before taking Milly’s empty seat. Her expression was too muddled to read. “Where’s Milly?”

“Dunno. She had some stuff to do and left Nicky with me. Your guys' room is open for you though. So you can get ready for work.”

There was another silent pause while Meryl nodded. She really must have been tired. And then as Vash was getting comfortable with the silence, she spoke.

“So, what do you think?” she muttered quietly.

“Think?” Vash asked, still trying to keep still. Nicky was starting to wiggle around. “Think about what?”

Meryl nodded her head in Nicky’s direction.

Vash’s chest went tight as he looked back at Nicky. His expression twisted the more he thought.

“He’s going to look just like him,” Meryl continued. It was as though she’d read his mind. “It’s so strange to me how you can already tell. I mean, just look at his face.”

Meryl was right. Nicky had more than just Wolfwood’s name. It looked as though he was hardly related to Milly with the mop of thick black hair and dark skin tone. Even his eyes were so dark they appeared nearly black. Just like a miniature version of their old friend.

But was the priest actually his friend? Vash hardly knew him apparently. Vash hardly knew anyone, so distracted with his own issues. It had been that way for decades.

Maybe Nicky was a fresh start.

He could do better this time.

…

Work had hardly changed over the next few days despite the changes to the household. Vash and Meryl still rose early to open. Vash split his time between the dining room and the kitchen to free up time for Agatha to complete administrative duties. Vash didn’t mind. He liked cooking. He was learning new things all of the time. And wasn’t that the fun part of life.

In the meantime, Meryl was falling back on bad habits. She drowned herself in work, making sure customers were well cared for and the diner was spotless. She kept the radio of the record on, adding more warmth to the atmosphere. Really, the place had never looked better.

And Meryl’s customer service smile had never hidden so much.

When things were slow, Vash watched her from the corner of his eye, thinking of his conversation with Milly. He told her not to worry about it. That was up to him now.

And he did worry.

Meryl was serving the last few customers– random town folks Vash had noticed around he still didn’t know the names of. One of them had caught sight of the last slice of cheesecake he hoped to give to Meryl on her break. And well… Vash didn’t have the heart to say anything as Meryl carried it out. The woman who ordered it was all giggles and smiles as she tucked in. Hopefully Vash would have time later to make her something else. 

“So, Miss Meryl,” the cheesecake woman started, twirling her fork in the air absentmindedly. “I heard that Miss Thompson finally had her baby?”

Meryl’s expression faltered for only a fraction of a second. That had to have been the fifth time so far that day someone had asked that. But then in a flash, Meryl took a deep breath and tried to keep smiling, “Yes, she absolutely did.”

“That’s why you weren’t working the other day right?”

She hummed, “I figured it was best not to leave Milly. But I think she’s getting the hang of things.”

“Oh, that’s good. Raising children on your own is no small feat.”

“Well, I’ve been helping her where I can, you know,” Meryl tried to correct. “We all have. She’s not on her own.”

“Good! You ought to be helping Miss Thompson anyway you can.”

The blank look on Meryl’s face said everything. But the customer didn’t seem to notice. “Anyways, I need to get back to work. Another mouth to feed and all of that,” she said flatly.

The customer still didn’t seem to get the hint. “And it’ll just get more expensive if my boys were anything to go by. Of course, Miss Thompson is still employed by the water commission. It may be more prudent to let the position go to someone more qualified to properly take care–”

Meryl could no longer hold back the frown that had been growing on her face, “That’s up to her. And I’m certain she’s already gotten more than enough well meaning advice than she wanted.”

“Oh, hush. You’ll understand once you’ve had your own.”

The look of incredulity on Meryl’s face was almost hilarious if not for the fact that Vash knew that Meryl was about to smack her. He took a few steps out of the kitchen to diffuse the situation with a few well placed words when the door chime rang out. Meryl gladly went to seat the new customers and Vash was left to return to the kitchen. He didn’t recognize anyone in this new group. That was unusual.

Agatha was already there waiting for him next to the stove. The tense expression on her face told him she’d seen the interaction. Vash was too nervous to say anything. But the look they exchanged said enough between Meryl and their customers.

From the kitchen, they both heard more congratulations directed towards Milly. Meryl’s responses were only becoming more stilted.

After a while, Agatha finally spoke up, “What time did she come in this morning?”

Vash shrugged, feeling shameful, “I dunno. She was already gone when I woke up. There was coffee on the kitchen counter for me.”

“That’s the second time since… 

“Since, Nicky was born. Almost a week ago. Yeah,” Vash said softly.

He may have been a thick fool, but Vash knew what Agatha was trying to get at. It was the same thing he was thinking. Before Vash could answer, Meryl ducked her head into the kitchen and called a new order, “Two toma sandwiches, a club sandwich, and a bowl of chili.”

“Yep, on it,”  Vash said softly, while Meryl disappeared around the corner. He thought about the cheesecake. “She really does help at home though. With Milly. Been sleeping on the couch and everything.”

“Doesn’t she have a bed?”

Vash’s heart fell, “Meryl does, but she shared a room with Milly. But Milly and Nicky sort of need the space and I don’t think Meryl wanted to really sleep right next to a newborn.”

Realization dawned on Agatha’s face. The conversation lulled and Meryl came back to deliver the orders. Again Vash let curiosity get the better of him and he lingered next to the door, just out of sight. Meryl repeated the order as she set plates down at the table.

“Excuse me? Miss? This isn’t what I ordered.”

“Huh?” 

“I ordered a club sandwich as well. Not toma.” The rest of the table nodded and muttered in agreement.

Meryl’s eyes went wide as she looked back over her notebook. She cursed under her breath when she found the ticket. “I am so sorry, sir. I can take that back to the kitchen and get a new sandwich.”

“I would hope so! I heard good things about this place. We came all the way from Wednes Bay to try the food.”

“Yes, sir. Again, this sort of mix up doesn't usually happen. I’ll be right back.”

“I expect a discount for the trouble.”

“I can’t– I can’t guarantee that, sir…” Meryl muttered. The man at the table wasn’t impressed with her answer and glowered. “I’ll speak with my manager about it. Here, I’ll be right back with the correct order.”

Vash barely saw her customer service smile falter before he shuffled out of sight. He didn’t want to make her feel worse. Acknowledging that anything was wrong always set her off. 

The plate clattered loudly as Meryl placed it on the counter next to Vash. Him and Agatha both looked when she slouched against the counter and hid her face in her hands. “Sorry. I messed up. I need another club sandwich. Sorry.”

Vash tried to appear unconcerned, even if that's all he felt. “At least you got a lunch out of it,” he tried to say with a laugh.  Agatha shot him another look.

Meryl sighed again, “I’m… not hungry. Maybe later.”

Agatha discreetly left the room, leaving her two employees to themselves. Vash shuffled closer and closer to Meryl until they were brushing arms. He leaned his head lightly on top of hers. Small raven colored hairs moved with his breath. He could feel the tension she held onto coming off of her in waves. Nervousness settled in the pit of his stomach until Vash began to make the new sandwich.

Eventually he felt her begin to calm. And the sandwich was done. He handed her the plate with a soft smile.

“Just make sure you eat at some point, okay?”

Meryl took the plate and nodded before leaving.

“Okay.”

…

He heard crying.

Not loudly, but enough that despite the exhaustion of the day, Vash was roused from sleep. He was face down in a drool stained pillow, wondering for a few brief seconds where he was who. Who the hell was making such a racket at three in the morning?

Nicky. It was Nicky. Of course the only two week old infant in the house was crying. Usually it didn’t last too long. Only… this time it did. Milly must have been exhausted if Nicky wasn’t waking her up. Groaning, Vash started to unpeel himself from the sheets when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. The door hinges squealed followed by more shuffling. A voice, low and soft, mumbled as the crying slowed. Finally, Vash heard footsteps descending the stairs once again.

His eyes were about to close when the voice barely reached his ears. It was far too muffled for him to make out any words. But Vash recognized the bell-like lilt anywhere. That sound haunted his dreams.Maybe he was dreaming already.

But the sound continued when Vash sat in bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. LIke a siren call, Vash followed the voice downstairs. He tried to step as quietly as he could in case Nicky began to cry again. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, Vash spotted Meryl on the couch where she’d been sleeping for the last few days. Nicky was propped up on her shoulder, sleeping soundly as Meryl hummed. 

He couldn’t help but stare. He was too scared that if he moved, the whole scene would vanish in a shimmer.

Vash desperately didn’t want this to be a dream.

A few moments later and Meryl looked over the top of the couch. Vash’s gaze was drawn to the exhausted, wistful smile on her face. She didn’t say anything. But Meryl didn’t need to. Vash hesitantly made his way to the couch. The cushions were a mess with twisted sheets and frumpy pillows. Vash did his best to pull his legs up onto the couch and get comfortable without taking up her space.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

Vash shook his head, “No. Knives' snoring woke me up.”

“He snores?” Meryl asked, arching a brow

“Yeah. Worse than me some nights.”

A moment of silence passed. Vash watched Meryl return to Nicky. He was still fussing a bit as she rubbed circles into his back. The way she was holding onto him, as tired as she was, looked so natural. And when that wasn’t enough she whispered little reassurances into his ear. The wistful smile returned to Meryl’s face when Nicky finally began to calm. Her eyes closed and she let her head rest against the back of the couch. Something in Vash’s stomach fluttered seeing the both of them so relaxed.

Vash laughed quietly, trying to ignore the feelings he’d gotten watching her. “I’m surprised you're the one who woke up. I figured Milly would be chomping at the bit.”

Meryl sighed and glanced in Vash’s directions. “I offered to help with nights when he’s having trouble sleeping. Milly needs help and… I don’t mind,” she explained. “Especially after the last few months.”

It was funny how much Meryl said in so few words. Vash thought he understood. “That’s still kind of you. You’re working hard too, ya know.”

“I don’t mind. It lets Milly get some rest.”

“What if he gets hungry or something though?”

Meryl shrugged slightly. “Milly taught me how to mix up the formula and all of that. Didn’t realize how complicated everything was. I feel like if I don't do everything just right, I’m gonna accidentally kill Nicky.”

Vash couldn’t help his smirk. “You’ve never taken care of kids before?”

“No. I had a really small family growing up. Never had to.”

Once again, Meryl had said something gigantic as though it had no meaning at all. Vash took the meaning in. Most families he ever had the fortune to get to know were big. Of course the Thompsons, with Milly’s six other siblings, were a significant outlier. But most couples were lucky enough to have a few kids. Something must have happened. Something that Meryl never would have mentioned otherwise. 

But she hadn’t given details. Curiosity loomed in the back of Vash’s mind. Who raised her? Who cradled her to sleep when she was small? Was it happy? Was she cherished?

Vash gulped back the impulse to ask.

Then he felt ashamed. He really didn’t know anything about her. Of course, Vash knew all of the basic things– she used to work for Bernardelli’s Insurance Society, she was somewhere in her mid-twenties, and she was conscientious and practical and kind. So, so kind. But Vash couldn’t say how Meryl had become that way. He didn’t know the little things. Meryl’s favorite food or color. Her birthday. Where she grew up.

He so badly wanted to know now. 

“You seem to be good though. At calming him down,” Vash said instead. “Kind of a natural at it.”

Meryl breathed deep, completely unaware of the racing thoughts in Vash’s head. “He’s just an easy baby I think. Gets it from Milly probably.”

Nicky started wiggling again. He couldn’t see Nicky’s face, but from the gentle coos the infant was making, it didn’t seem as though he was upset. With a deep breath, Meryl leaned so they were cheek to cheek while her fingers ran gentle lines over his head. She breathed out little reassurances Vash could barely make out, rocking Nicky ever so slightly. But Vash caught sight of the way she was smiling. 

Vash’s chest went tight while his heart pounded against his ribs. Shame crept up his shoulders. Because… he liked seeing Meryl like this .  

“Yeah… Maybe.” 

Or maybe Nicky knew how good Meryl was. But that was another thing Vash was too cowardly to mention. Instead, he noticed how tired Meryl was. Her shoulders slumped more and more under the weight of the infant. Still, she tried so hard to keep her eyes open. 

Vash smiled a little. She was trying so hard to be there for everyone. But, she was going to run herself into the ground again. That wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not again.

He almost didn’t notice when Meryl moved to get up. “Wait, where are you going?”

“He’s ready to go back to bed.”

Vash put a hand on her arm to stop her. “I can take him.”

Meryl’s face twisted with confusion. Her grip on Nicky tightened. “Why? I was the one who took him down in the first place.”

“Yeah, but,” Vash started, not moving his hand, “you look like you’re about to keel over.”

“I’m not.”

She yawned and her eyes were about to close when she caught herself. She knew she was proving his point for him. And Vash would have usually snarked right back at her, but tonight, Vash didn’t have the heart to.

They looked at each other sadly. There were so many words on the tip of Vash’s tongue. The way Meryl’s exhausted expression fell made him think that she understood.

“Let me take him up?”

A tense moment passed as Meryl looked at the staircase behind her. The rest of the house was silent.

“Okay. Just… Be careful, okay?”

Smiling wistfully, Vash took a hold of the sleeping infant, holding him close to his chest. There was a flutter in his chest as he noticed Meryl’s attention lingered on them. Then her eyes caught Vash’s and she softened. With one hand, Vash helped her back to the couch before pulling a blanket up around her shoulders. Then, he left, cradling Nicky in his arms.

In the back of his mind, he thought about softly kissing Meryl’s forehead before walking away. 

And Vash didn’t.

…

It hadn’t been a good day. Or rather, it hadn’t been a good few weeks.

She’d just finished cleaning up a shattered plate and a ruined sandwich. She’d cut herself badly on the ceramics. Water ran light red as Meryl tried to clean up. Her teeth grit against the sharp sting. She knew that the cut was only going to hurt in the moment. But the frustration was much harder to shake. Meryl knew she was off her game. She wasn’t supposed to be the kind of person to mess up orders or drop dishes.

Tears were forming at the corner of her eyes as she switched the water off and grabbed a kitchen towel to staunch the blood. Her heart fell when she saw Agatha approach. The old woman’s demeanor was impossible to read. 

Meryl grimaced. “Sorry. Sorry, I’ll take care of this real quick and I’ll remake the order,” she muttered, keeping her eyes on her hands.

For a long moment, Agatha didn’t say anything. Her eyes, perceptive as ever, drifted to the towel Meryl had shoved against the palm of her hand. It was still turning red. “No, you’re not.”

The younger woman's heart jolted and she turned to her Agatha, terrified.

Agatha carefully took her hand and lifted the towel. Meryl hissed in protest. She tried to pull her hand back but Agatha didn’t let her. Tension curled and knotted itself in Meryl’s stomach. Her mind fixated on the worst while Agatha frowned. The old woman placed the towel back over the cut again.

“These need stitches, Meryl. I can take over for a while. But… I think we need to talk.”

Immediately, Meryl bristled. She had been dreading those words, more and more as the week went on. If Agatha noticed her panic, she made no show of it. So, Meryl did her best to look unaffected. Still, her voice cracked, “Yeah. What about?”

“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been able to keep as much as you used to. A lot of mistakes.”

“Again, I am so sorry,” Meryl started. “I swear I’ll be able to get back to full capacity again soon. It’s just–”

“Have things been okay back at the house?”

Meryl was about to continue trying to explain herself when she paused. She hadn’t been expecting concern. “I mean… Things are… different. I’m trying to help out as best I can. It’s not really an easy time for Milly.”

“And you’ve been spending more and more time here too. When was the last time you got a full night's rest?”

Again, Meryl grimaced. She didn’t have an answer. At least not one that Agatha would like. Her mind drifted to the night before and the dreamlike haze she found herself when she was easing Nicky back to sleep. Vash had been there. She didn’t remember much. Just that it felt warm.

When Meryl couldn’t answer, Agatha sighed. “You know, I think it might be a good idea for you to slow down just a little bit. Take a step back.”

“I–”

“You don’t have to take care of everyone,” Agatha said softly. “In fact, I think if you took more time to look after yourself, things would get better.”

“I can’t let them down…” Meryl muttered as her eyes fell to the floor. 

Agatha’s face twitched. Her expression grew more and more concerned as she understood. “How would taking care of yourself let your friends down? They care about you, don’t they?”

Meryl couldn’t answer as she felt her eyes grow wet. 

“Listen, I’ve been thinking about it– and you are under no obligation to accept– but I have a spare room in my apartment upstairs. It’s been empty since my children moved out years ago.”

“Ma’am, I have a place.”

Agatha arched her brow. “Vash told me that you’d been sleeping on a sofa since Nicolas was born. We both know that's not healthy in the long run. You’re already burning out and no one wants that. Least of Milly and Vash. They love you.” She took a hold of Meryl’s injured hand in her and held the younger woman in a soft gaze. Meryl couldn’t keep the tears back. “Go get your hand checked out and take the rest of the day off, okay? Think about what I said. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself finally.”

Furiously, Meryl wiped tears from her eyes, accidentally streaking blood across her cheeks. The tightness she’d been holding onto for months slowly unwound. She could let herself be cared for finally.

Chapter Text

Things were calm. Though Vash supposed things had been calm for the better part of a year. Compared to the last few years, when his brother was literally deciding to commit genocide, even the drama of trying to get settled in LR was nothing. Vash had been through much, much worse. Not that that was a good thing. Far from it.

But this was too calm. Too quiet. 

Vash waited silently for the kettle to rumble while he spooned coffee grounds into the coffee press. Each step was measured and methodical. He’d lost count of how many times he’d made coffee like this now since Meryl had taught him shortly after he started walking with her to work. The routine was sort of comforting now. He breathed deeply when the water finally came to a boil and steam condensed on the windows as he poured the water. Now it was just a waiting game. 

He looked over his shoulder suddenly, halfway expecting to see a short raven haired woman sleepily amble in. But he felt a pang of disappointment when there was no one in the doorway. After a moment of staring, Vash forced himself to turn away and make a cup of coffee. 

He sipped the coffee and grimaced. It tasted overly bitter. Or maybe it was just watered down. Vash thought back on how he made the coffee just minutes before. He hadn’t deviated from the method. But something was wrong. The coffee hadn’t been right for a while.

In the back of Vash’s mind, he could almost hear Meryl complaining as she continued to drink her cup.

Vash lost track of how long he stared. At some point he poured the second cup. He poured in a splash of cream and just a drizzle of maple syrup. He didn’t really know why he made the second cup. There wasn’t any time to drink it anyways. In the back of his head, Vash could perfectly imagine the way Meryl’s cheeks turned pink every time he made her coffee in the morning. 

With time still left before work, Vash sat alone at the kitchen table. Things were quiet enough that Vash almost heard the blood rushing in his ears. The only thing to pull him out of the quiet was the sound of plodding footsteps coming down the stairs. 

Knives looked the same as he always did. The scowl on his face was barely softened with sleep. But it was still there. Vash didn’t have the energy to devote any more thought to his brother right now.

“There’s coffee for you.”

Knives paused for a second before turning to the counter.”What is this?

“Coffee. For you.”

“That’s new.” Knives looked into the mug and sniffed, only to pull away with a grimace. “What are you trying to do? Poison me?”

Vash’s expression matched his brother’s. “No one’s out to get you, ya know? Least of all me, if that’s so hard to believe. It’s literally just coffee.”

“It’s not black.”

“Yeah, I put cream and syrup in it.”

“I don't like stuff in my coffee. You ruined it.” Knives began to drink it anyway. He took a seat across from Vash, forcing them both in awkward silence. Vash stared at his brother’s face. His expression was the same as ever. But over the last few weeks, he looked brighter. He’d been more energetic too. Vash thought he knew why, though he didn’t want to talk about it. 

“You know, it’s unsightly to see you wallow in self pity all of the time,” Knives said unexpectedly. 

“I’m not wallowing in anything.”

“Yes, you are. Usually you act like an uncontrollable buffoon. Believe me, it’s easy to tell.” Knives didn’t seem to notice the scowl on his brother’s face and continued. “You’d think with all of your waxed poetry about peace over the last hundred years, you’d be enjoying the quiet.”

“Then why are you even complaining?” Vash snarked back. 

“Because there’s something wrong with you.”

“No, there isn’t!”

Knives hissed, “In any case, get better. Thompson’s infant is the only person making a racket since Stryfe left. All the better too. Living with her was like walking on eggshells.”

Chest tightening, Vash began to feel the urge to run away. Instead, he was still glued to the chair.

“Really, she should have left earlier. There’s barely enough space for four adults in this hovel in the first place and. Not to mention she was always so judgemental, about everything. I could be sitting here, doing absolutely nothing, and she would have the audacity to start lecturing me.”

“I mean… have you ever thought of what she could have been mad about?”

“She was angry about everything. You should know. You spent the most time with her.”

Vash’s gaze went down to the table. “Meryl’s a little curt sometimes. That’s just the way she is. Like how you’re… you.”

“You say that as though that’s a bad thing.”

Once again, it struck Vash funny how Knives could be so intelligent and yet so obtuse. How could he not see the obvious? Well, Vash wasn’t going to point it out. 

He rested his chin on an upturned hand. “She’s easy to talk to though. And joke with. She’s easy to make laugh. Meryl gets all flustered and it's cute. Her nose scrunches in this really particular way. And Meryl’s actually really kind. She makes me snacks sometimes or helps me with the dishes. When things get busy–”  

Knive’s eyes went wide, “Oh I get it now.”

Vash gulped, smirking uneasily. “Get what exactly?”

“Why you dumped two cups of sugar in that second cup of coffee.”

“That’s just how I always make it.”

Knives grinned and crossed his arms, “Maybe. Or maybe it was the way that you made it for Stryfe.”

“Why would I make a whole cup of coffee for someone who doesn’t live here?”

For an instant, Knives looked confused. Then he slumped in his seat, looking just as smarmy as before. “You tell me, Vash.”

Finally Vash got up. He couldn’t stand the criticism. Knives might not have been saying anything directly, but vash could almost see what he was thinking. It made his stomach twist into knots and he’d already been so nervous. 

“Either you’re as annoyed with Nicky as I am… Or you’re over at work to spend more time with Stryfe. Which is insane. But you always were the fool. Getting attached over nothing.”

“Meryl isn’t nothing,” Vash said softly. He poured the dregs of his coffee into the kitchen sink and left. Work was about to start anyways. 

…

Despite the lack of the usual commute, Meryl still roused early. At first the changes were strange. She’d grown so accustomed to the cramped chaos of the tiny kitchen that the peace of going through her morning routine alone was almost anxiety inducing. It was too quiet. But soon enough Meryl realized the solitude allowed her to take a deep breath and recenter. How long had it been since she felt that way? What did it say about her when Meryl couldn’t recall?

Regardless, Meryl tried to ease into it as best she could. She had time to devote to herself. If Milly had known, she’d probably be over the moon. But in the times Meryl had gone over to the house to visit, she tried to be helpful rather than gloat. There was one less person around to take up space in the already cramped house, but she still cared about them. Quietly, Meryl would help clean up or leave a couple of bills in Milly’s coat pocket. Milly couldn’t refuse that way. 

Still, Meryl made sure to do nice things for herself she hadn’t done in ages. She took walks around town and spent a bit of her newfound pocket money. It was simple things at first. A little pastry here and there. The good coffee beans. It wasn’t too long until the clerk at the dry goods store offered to order specialty items from the Wednes Bay market. 

It didn’t take long for Meryl to return with a short list of ingredients she hadn’t thought about in years. 

And just when Meryl had nearly forgotten she placed the order when she got the call to pick the items up. Agatha smiled knowingly when Meryl told her had to take time off the next morning.

And Meryl was enjoying it. It felt like forever since she was able to go out without putting on the green diner uniform. She almost forgot that she had normal everyday clothes at all. And it was still early enough in the day that the streets weren’t terribly busy yet and the air was still cool outside.

She stood at the counter of the store while the clerk was finding her order in the back. He said it would take a while to find it in the chaos of the dark back room. There was a knock at the window, and Meryl nearly shrieked. Holding her hand to her chest to even her breathing, Meryl saw Vash on the other side. He was grinning and waving at her. In an instant, Vash came on in. Meryl could feel the giddy energy coming off him in buckets. He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“You’re out pretty late, Miss Stryfe!” Vash teased.

Meryl shrugged. “Not really. Work hasn’t started yet. And it’s Wednesday. Wednesdays aren’t our busy day.”

Before he could answer, the clerk came out of the back room, carrying a large brown paper bag. He set it down on the counter with a thud. “And that’ll come down to, uh…eighty one double dollars and five cents, Miss Stryfe. Cost of shipping and all of that. If we could get these things in town, I wouldn’t have to charge so much.” He turned to Vash with an arched brow when he caught sight of the lanky man standing slightly behind her. “Can I help you, sir?”

Vash shrugged, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Nah, I’m just here to pester Meryl here.”

The clerk huffed while Meryl finished pulling bills out of her wallet. Wordlessly, she finished the transaction. All the while the clerk only regarded Vash with mild annoyance.

It wasn’t until they were walking out that Vash spoke up. “He doesn’t seem to like me very much. Dunno why though.”

“Probably because you nearly dragged a fistfight into his store.”

“Wait! When did that happen?”

Meryl sighed, “Like a month and a half ago.”

“I get dragged into so many fights, Meryl! You can’t possibly expect me to remember them all, can you?”

“That’s what the Vash the Stampede cabinet at Bernardelli’s was for!” Meryl chuckled. Vash grumbled and brooded. But they trekked back to the diner in companionable silence. At the edge of town was another construction crew. They’d been there only a week and the work had only just begun. Meryl paused and watched them for a moment.

“They’re working on the roads, right? Paving all the way out to Wednes Bay and a few of the other towns?”

She nodded, “Yeah. That’s what Agatha said at least. Milly probably knows more. ”

“What about the bus?”

“I guess there’s too much traffic for just the bus now,” Meryl surmised. “All coming for the water. Milly’s going to get busier at work if it keeps up.”

“It’s kind of wild to see, huh?”

“The town?”

Vash hummed affirmatively, “Yeah. Things are livelier. Happier. Lighter”

Looking over her shoulder, Meryl saw a wistful smile grow on Vash’s face. Like he was proud of something. Meryl’s grip on the brown paper bag tightened as she thought back on the town when they first arrived. LR was remote. Meryl felt comfortable because no one was going to chase after Vash here. She’d never expected to stay long enough to see the town prosper. 

Vash must have noticed Meryl shifting the weight in her arms and scooped the bag from her. He groaned dramatically, “What in the world do you even have in here, Meryl? It’s almost as heavy as the Punisher!”

“It is not!”

He pulled out one of the galangal roots and sniffed. He grimaced when he couldn’t place the scent. It made Meryl chuckle. “Did Agatha ask you to start poisoning the customers?” Vash asked suspiciously. 

“No, it’s just stuff for me.”

Vash continued to rifle through the bag like her groceries were a birthday gift. Except it wasn’t meant for him. Meryl thought briefly about how she should have gotten something for her friend. It probably wasn’t too late. But Meryl couldn’t bring herself to turn around. They were almost back at work. 

“So, are you going to be making something with all of this food?”

“No, I’m going to shove into the back of the fridge and forget about it,” Meryl said flatly. 

“Wait, what?”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course not. It’s just for some soup.”

“Pretty expensive soup.”

Meryl hummed. She looked into the diner window as they were coming up onto the diner porch. Agatha had already sat a few customers down. She would have to get changed immediately and get to work. Which was fine. Meryl liked working. But the moment had been cut short.

She turned to Vash before he could pull the door open. “Hey, would you like to learn how to make it?”

“Your expensive soup?”

Without a word, Meryl nodded.

Vash looked away momentarily, obviously mulling over his options, before he was too busy to answer her. The longer he waited, the more anxious Meryl felt. She hated that she felt that same way at all. The door chimed above her as Meryl stepped into the threshold.

“Yeah. Actually I think I would.”

Meryl looked over her shoulder. Her expression was probably just as tense as she felt. Vash giggled when he saw her.

“Tonight. You should teach me tonight after work!”

She was about to answer when she heard Agatha calling from the dining room. Meryl nodded her head and hoped that was enough of an answer. They were already late for work.

…

Vash was good at masking his emotions. It came with the territory of being legendary Vash the Stampede. But today it was nearly impossible. Even when he would otherwise have been distracted, Vash couldn't help but feel giddy. He hadn’t spent time with Meryl since she moved out. Sure, they saw each other at work nearly everyday. But that was different. It wasn’t companionship for the sake of companionship. And, loathe as he was to admit it, he craved that. 

They cleaned the diner silently after Agatha closed the doors and ushered the last diner out. But Vash had to fight to keep his feet planted on the floor. Meryl had been so cagey earlier. One wrong move and Vash was certain he’d scare her. 

But, seeing the strange vegetables and sauces around the kitchen only reminded him of his evening plans

Cleaning was taking too long. Vash paused, placed his hands on his hips, and scanned the room. It looked fine. Good enough. Besides, was it absolutely necessary to shine the oven to a sparkle every night? Probably not. But Meryl was a stickler. And Agatha would have noticed. With a sigh, Vash continued on.

Meryl, however, came into the kitchen and began to rifle through the fridge. The cogs in Vash’s head spun when he saw the weird bundle of grasses and shoots she brought back. Then Meryl grinned, “Good, you didn’t use the chicken I left to unthaw.”

“No one ordered anything with chicken today,” Vash shrugged. 

“Well, I told them we didn’t have any today.”

“Meryl!”

“What?”

Vash giggled when his friend stared back at him confused at his feigned shock. “I just never imagined you would lie to the customers like that.”

“I wanted chicken in my soup!”

She was busy cutting up her ingredients when Vash put his broom away and sauntered over. He grinned mischievously as he pushed annoyingly into his brain. “So,” he drawled, “What sort of soup are we making?”

“Tom Kha Gai,” Meryl said absentmindedly. 

“What’s that?”

Meryl paused momentarily. Her nose scrunched up a little as she thought. “It’s, uh… It’s sort of a spicy coconut soup.”

“And what does Tom Kha Gai mean?”

Her expression soured further. “Honestly… I don’t really remember. My grandmother knew. But you know… Kids don’t really listen.”

Vash stared at her for a moment, feeling overwhelmed for only a moment. He hated that feeling. Suddenly he pointed to the fragrant bundle of grass she was chopping up. “What’s that?”

“Lemongrass.”

“Does it taste like lemons?”

“No. Not really.”

Next, Vash pointed to the strange root he’d seen earlier. “And how about this?”

Meryl snatched the root back and began to wash it off. Little flecks of dirt came off under her thumb nail. When she was satisfied, Meryl turned the faucet off and dried the root. “It’s galangal,” she said finally as she began to chop.

Again, Vash giggled, “What?”

“Galangal. Kha means galangal. It was a staple in my grandmother’s kitchen.”

Vash picked up the portion of galangal Meryl wasn’t using for the soup. He sniffed it again. The scent was woody and vegetal, and vaguely reminded him of a tree. Almost. He hummed then turned back to Meryl, “Why not just use ginger? It looks the same and is easier to get around here. You probably could have saved a lot of money.”

Meryl all but slammed the cleaver onto the cutting board, making Vash wince. “Are you insane? Those are two completely different things!” Before he could reply, Meryl stamped over to the pantry and produced a piece of ginger. She held both the ginger and the galangal up for Vash to see, growing all the while. “See? They look nothing alike! The texture and the color are completely different. Ginger’s much spicier and that’s not what the soup is supposed to taste like.”

“Aren’t you putting in a bunch of chilis though?” Vash said, holding back a laugh.

“Not that kind of spice! Galangal tastes completely different!”

He couldn’t help but chuckle now, “Okay, okay, okay. I believe you.” 

Meryl grumbled for a moment. It didn’t take long for her to simmer back down into an easier mood. Vash knew she was easy to tease, but after working together for so long– or… maybe, because they hadn’t spent time together as friends in so long– Meryl knew he had never meant it maliciously, and she was good at giving as good as she got. But, hadn’t it always been like that? Since the beginning?

No, not really, Vash supposed. Something had changed, but he didn’t want to think about what.

“Hey, do you mind setting the chicken stock to boil? And then cut up the chicken.”

“What? Oh, yeah.” Vash fished a stock pot from the cupboard. “How much?”

Meryl was now tearing leaves apart. “Just up to the middle. There’s going to be a lot in the soup and we don’t want it to overfill.”

They continued to work in silent harmony. Every few moments, they would brush against each other and Vash could feel his smile widen a fraction without thinking. Part of him was glad that Meryl was so invested in her soup. She couldn’t see his smile or the way his face was turning red. And even that he could potentially chalk up to  the heat of the stove. The stock was already coming to a boil, causing steam to condense on the window. That was it. He was just standing too long by the stove. While that would have been a good excuse for Meryl, Vash could still feel the fuzziness eating away at the tips of his fingers. He missed this. Without an order from Meryl, he dumped the raw chicken in and let it cook. 

He was so focused on the cooking, he almost didn’t hear Meryl humming quietly to herself. The tune was familiar. She’d hummed– no, sang it before. Or maybe Vash had been dreaming. 

Before he could ask, Meryl leaned into his space and tested the chicken. Vash stepped out of her way and went stiff. His face felt feverish. 

“Time to add everything else.” She looked up and frowned with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah! Just excited for soup,” Vash said nervously. If Meryl noticed, she made no sign of it as she scraped her lemongrass and galangal into the pot. Next came the leaves. Why in the world was she putting leaves into the soup? Was any of this going to even be edible?

His relief was almost palpable when she tossed in mushrooms. Vash didn't recognize what kind they were. But he’d never met a mushroom he didn’t like. 

Meryl finished off the soup with a generous helping of fish sauce and… coconut milk? 

And of course chilis. 

She let the soup simmer for a few more minutes. Vash’s mouth was watering now. He hadn’t really had soup that smelled quite like this before. Or food like this before. Meryl pushed him back from the stove again. “Get some bowls. You’re drooling in my pot.”

“Wait, bowls? You’re sharing your bounty with me?”

Meryl rolled her eyes. “Of course I am. What did you think was going to happen?”

“That it’d get done and you’d kick me out,” Vash shrugged. He handed her a pair of bowls and searched for spoons. He continued, “It’s something you’ve been looking forward to eating, right?”

A wistful smile grew on Meryl’s face. “Yeah. I have been… But it's a dish best shared. Come on, let's go.”

The dining room was lit by only a few lights, illuminating only a small corner of the bar. Meryl placed the bowls next to each other and waited for Vash to join her. In front of her were a few ramekins of several other ingredients he hadn't noticed her preparing. Vash was almost hesitant to move from the safety of the kitchen. Sitting next to her suddenly seemed so daunting. As though he’d ruin everything. 

But then she smiled at him. 

Taking a deep breath, Vash met her at the counter. Her smile grew into a grin and he watched with fascination as she squeezed fresh lime into the broth and topped it with cilantro. How fancy… Vash should have expected such a garnish from her.

“There, ready to eat!” Meryl exclaimed before taking the first few bites. Vash couldn’t help but watch her as her expression beamed. He almost forgot about the soup in front of him. How could he eat when this was the happiest he’d seen Meryl in a long while?

Slowly, Vash took the first bite. Tom kha gai was really something he’d never experienced before. It was creamy and tangy all at the same time until the spice burned his tongue. The flavors were light and refreshing just the galangal had promised, but somehow the richness was nearly overstimulating. The chicken was still tender while the mushrooms seemed to add a more umami flavor to cut through the bright citrus. If he wasn’t careful, Vash could probably finish the whole pot in a single sitting.

Meryl must have been watching him because he heard her giggle. Embarrassed, Vash swallowed what was in his mouth and cleaned up the broth dribbling down his chin. He stared at his bowl to avoid meeting her eyes. “It’s just really good, okay?”

“I know! Not quite like how my grandmother made it, but it's close enough. I haven't had Tom Kha in years.”

Vash glanced quickly between Meryl and the soup. “You keep mentioning your grandmother. Were you two close?” he asked quietly. 

Meryl didn’t answer right away. Her expression was oddly thoughtful and all too quickly, Vash thought he overstepped a boundary. Meryl wasn’t someone who often divulged personal information, even when she was prompted. Vash began to regret asking. 

“Honestly,” Meryl started, stirring her soup with her spoon, “Not really. My mom wasn’t… around when I was growing up. So my dad had my grandmother help raise me. She was sort of a…”

“Hard to get along with?”

Meryl laughed. “Yeah, that’s one word for it! She was very much a homemaker. Really tried to push that on me growing up.”

Vash couldn’t help but grin along with her, “Couldn’t keep you on a tight leash, could she?”

“Nope! Neither could my dad, honestly. He taught me how to take care of myself and all of that. But when I told him I was assigned to your case, we got into a fight about it. But we sort of got things… figured out before he… passed away.”

And like always, Meryl had said something so deep so casually. Vash was taken aback. Stupefied. He didn’t know what to say. Not right away. He took another bite of soup.

“So tom kha is a family recipe then?”

“Mm hm. My grandmother said it was a recipe her family brought over from Earth.”

“Oh? Where from?”

She had to think another moment, “Southeast Asia? I couldn’t really point it out on a map.”

“You really don’t see specific cuisines like that anymore. Kinda lost it all after Knives… crashed the colony ships,” Vash said quietly.

Meryl gave him a sympathetic glance. “You’re not wrong. But some people still had the forethought to remember their roots. Like my grandmother. We had a whole book full of recipes like this hanging around. A lot of citrus and chilis when we could afford it. Or, special occasions. Birthdays and what not. My dad actually made my graduation dinner but he wasn’t much of a cook so the pancit was all burned.”

Vash had no idea what pancit was. Maybe that was something else she could show him. 

Then he almost choked on a woody piece of the galangal. Meryl nearly shrieked and patted Vash’s back until he was able to get the root out of his throat. He felt gross as he hacked it up onto a napkin. He turned to Meryl. “How are you so supposed to eat that? It’s impossible to chew through. And it's so bitter.”

“You’re not supposed to eat the galangal! It’s just there for flavor,” she insisted. Meryl didn’t move her hand from Vash’s back and her expression softened. “What in the world am I going to do with you?”

Vash tried to muster a grin as he reached for a glass of water. “Keep me from dying? There’s enemies everywhere. Even in your grandmother’s soup!”

Meryl rolled her eyes playfully before removing her hand. There was a cold spot on Vash’s back he couldn’t quite ignore. But he went back to his meal. Somehow, the small bit of soup left in his bowl seemed almost too important to eat. It was part of Meryl’s story after all. He didn’t want to finish it too quickly.

But, maybe, if Meryl didn’t mind, Vash could have seconds.

Chapter Text

Knives never woke up on his own. He hadn’t since he left the safety of his compound. He supposed he probably never would unless he left Vash. And as of right now, that wasn’t necessarily an option. 

For the time being, he was forced awake at the crack of dawn when Vash clomped about the room to get ready for work. The diner didn’t open that early, did it? Knives had no idea. He had no desire to eat around humans. They were loud and gross and Knives frankly had no desire to manage interacting with them for long periods of time. The ones he was sharing living space with were more than enough. Stryfe nearly found the end of his patience several times before she crawled away.

Unfortunately in Stryfe’s wake was the resident infant. Nicky. That was the diminutive name his mother had given him. Nicky was loud at all hours of the night and day, constantly crying for attention, and spreading germs all over the house.

Knives did not ask to live in such close quarters with a newborn. But he wasn’t stupid enough to blame Nicky for being Nicky. That did not make the situation less grating.

This particular morning, Thompson made no effort to stay quiet. According to the alarm clock that Vash consistently ignored, it was well past the time she was supposed to be gone. And from what he was hearing, she was not the usual paragon of calm. 

Reluctantly, Knives unpeeled himself off the mattress. His groan was inevitable as joints clicked back into place. He had been for months and somehow his body was still in shambles.

Thompson was rushing about the kitchen in a panic just like he expected. She was rushing about the kitchen, trying to prepare a bagged meal– presumably for later in the day. Meanwhile, on the stove was a pan of burning bacon and eggs. Was that her breakfast? All Knives knew was that his nostrils stung.

And at the table, Nicky was sitting in his high chair, watching the chaos with wide, dark eyes. Knives frowned.

Finally, Thompson turned around. An invisible weight fell off her shoulders when she caught sight of Knives. “Oh good! You’re up.”

The plant’s frown deepened as he stepped backwards. “I didn’t have a choice…”

“Listen,” Milly started, flipping the cooking food in her pan. “I have an awfully important meeting at work today. Some folks here from Wednes Bay to talk about–”

Knives stopped listening. The smell of the burning food was overwhelming. He sidestepped Thompson and turned the stove.

“Oh! Thanks!” Milly exclaimed. “Anyways, that’s why I need you to watch Nicky today.”

His eyes went wide while tension rose over his shoulders, “Excuse me?”

Thompson grabbed onto his shoulders roughly while her eyes turned wet. Knives went as straight as a board but couldn’t find the willpower to escape. “Please! I’m desperate!”

“I literally couldn’t care less. I never agreed to look after your offspring.”

“Oh, but he’s such an easy going, little angel. And it’s just for a few hours. Just until this afternoon,” Milly continued.

Knives winced. “Why not ask Vash?”

“Mr. Vash and Meryl are busy at work. You’re the only person here regularly.”

Thompson had a point. Knives could not stand humans long enough to get out of the house much, let alone find a line of employment. It wasn’t as though Knives had any faith in the humans’ capitalist, transactional system anyways. He refused to take part in it.

“I still have no interest in caring for your offspring. I wouldn’t even know how.”

Thompson grinned. “It’s not hard! He’s already eaten. All you have to do is make sure he falls asleep. Oh and he might need a change in a bit. But that’s not hard at all.”

Knives shuddered at the thought. He didn’t sign up for dealing with human fecal matter. He glanced over to the infant at the table. There was a thick line of drool coming out of his mouth. And he didn’t even have the presence of mind to do anything about it.

“How long are you going to be gone?”

Thankfully Thompson had the forethought to wipe her offspring’s mouth. “No more than a few hours.” She finished packing her lunch and pecked Nicky on the forehead before rushing out of the kitchen. “Thank you, Mr. Knives!”

Like a whirlwind, Thompson was out the door. If Nicky noticed, he made no show of it. Instead, he was trying to get his grubby little hands all over Knives’s arm. Knives pulled away and spared Nicky a frown.

This was going to be a long day.

…

Thompson said that Nicky was going to sleep. The little Knives knew about human infants told him that they were supposed to sleep a vast majority of the time. He was pretty sure that’s what was supposed to happen.

There was something wrong with Nicky.

It had been almost a full hour and this infant refused to go down! Knives had been gentle to the little human. The entire household would have him hung on a cross if anything happened to him. Vash nearly had his hide when the Styfe woman collapsed and he had nothing to with that. He wasn’t going to take chances when he could lose everything he’d managed to scrounge together in the last few months. But this infant was making it difficult to care. Maybe he didn’t actually want to be here anymore.

Knives stared at the Nicky wiggling around in the crib in Milly’s room. It was messy in here. Cluttered. It made him feel claustrophobic. There were so many stained, soiled clothing articles strewn about the floor. The sheets had been torn from the corner of the mattress and pillows were coming out of their cases. That didn’t even take into account the general disorganization.

But it wasn’t as though he could go until Nicky was asleep. And Knives running out of ideas.

Taking a deep breath in, Knives crossed his arms and glared. Obviously, this human was incapable of communicating anything, much less understanding. But Knives could still instill fear. Anxiety. Hopelessness. Maybe he could just will Nicky to sleep.

Seconds ticked by as Nicky continued to squirm and babble. Knives’ was getting sore just standing there. Even his own body was betraying him! Ever since what he’d hoped would be the penultimate battle between Vash, his body had never worked quite right. Before, he had no issues expending the energy to repair his body. But now he could feel the last bit of life energy drain from his body if he tried to do anything.

Frustration welled up in his chest. In hindsight, Thompson didn’t even ask him. She just shouted some very vague instructions and rushed out. Then again, Nicky wasn’t even a year old. Knives had destroyed worse enemies. 

Except Vash. 

Knives grimaced and tried not to think about it. He slumped into the rocking chair covered in overstuffed pillows Thompson kept next to the crib and held his head in his hands. His chest was tight, making it hard to breathe. 

It was pathetic that he was letting this get to him.

Nicky was a child. An infant that had to be reliant on the whims of others. He had dealt with so much worse. He had done so much worse. 

He had done so much worse

He had done so much worse.

It had been justified, right? 

They had deserved all of that for what they had done to Tesla. For what they had done in the encrypted files Knives had found. For creating independent plants in an attempt to play god. 

Knives looked over to the crib. He watched Nicky babble and wiggle, still refusing to sleep. 

He could just go downstairs. He could pretend he took care of the infant. Thompson probably wouldn’t know better. How could she? She couldn’t even keep track of an egg burning in a pan. It would be so easy to just leave. 

But… Rem hadn’t left them alone. Instead she had the audacity to drag him and his brother out of that bulb. She fostered them that massive, cold ship. She had always been warm. She had always been there. When things had turned rotten, she had been there for him and his brother. Then one day, she wasn’t.

All of the warmth had felt like a lie. How could any of those memories be genuine given what had happened before they had even existed?

Nicky babbled loudly from his crib. Knives looked over tiredly. His train of thought halted in place. He had been reliant like that. Everyone– everything, really– was at some point or another. And now, looking at Nicky, it was painfully obvious how reliant Knives had become again. And Vash had been merciful when Knives would have left his brother to rot in the desert. It felt as though he was being flayed alive to admit it.

He stood up again and looked over Nicky. They were both one and the same. How could Knives not help himself?

Knives was about to reach into the crib when he heard feet pounding up the steps. Vash’s voice thundered through the hallway, “Hello? Knives? Where are ya, bud?”

A groan escaped Knives’s mouth as his brother sniffed him out. Vash poked his head into the room and immediately regarded his brother with confusion. “What are you doing in here?” Before Knives could answer, Vash stepped inside. “Oh shoot! Is that Nick Nick?”

Knives scowled, “Excuse me?”

“Nicky! Wait– where ‘s Milly?”

“Thompson ran off this morning,” Knives explained.

Vash met his brother at the side of the crib and let the infant take hold of his fingers. Vash looked absolutely enthralled. “Are you babysitting today?”

“She didn’t give me much of a choice. In case you weren’t listening, she ran off.”

“Why didn’t she come grab me?”

“Because you were at that awful restaurant, doing who knows what.”

Despite the scathing comment, a grin grew on Vash’s face. “But I just saw you reaching out for a baby! A human baby!”

“Vash…”

“What? I just sort of thought you’d get frustrated and go mope downstairs if this ever happened.”

Rolling his eyes, Knives scoffed. “Of course I’m not going to do that. If anything happened to him, I doubt I’d survive the night.”

“Probably not!” Vash laughed. Knives grimaced at the reaction. But, Vash didn’t notice. Instead, his smile grew as he picked up Nicky and began to babble at him in a high pitched, whiny squeal. Knives rested his chin on an upturned hand and tried to hide his groan. He shouldn't have been surprised that, of course, Vash adored small humans. While Legato had been habitually unreliable in his fanaticism, at least that rang true.

“Though, Milly would probably skin you with a fork before I could do anything.”

He promptly bounced Nicky into the air with a resounding, indiscernible noise. Knives continued to watch.

“New moms are always so scary when it comes to their kids. I helped some lady deliver hers and the moment it was out she tried to claw my face off when I didn’t hand it off fast enough.”

“Wait… What?”

Vash looked over to his brother like Knives was an idiot. “What do you mean what?”

“You’ve helped deliver infants before?”

“Yeah. Just once or twice. And definitely not by choice either! Completely the wrong place, wrong time.”

“Disgusting.”

Vash laughed, “It sort of was. There was, uh… a lot of fluid and other stuff. And babies are pretty slimy coming out.”

Knives felt like he was going to be sick.

“People say it's supposed to be some sort of beautiful event or something like that. But I was mostly just stressed out the entire time. Things can go pretty bad for everyone involved and I’ve seen some pretty wack shit over the years. Stilborns and congenital defects. Sometimes they get stuck in the birth canal and they both die.” He smiled sadly at Nicky. “ But it was always a little special seeing new parents fall in love for the first time. Like a part of life I’d never really been allowed to experience but at least I got to see what it was like from the outside.”

Knives had nothing to say. In fact, his brother’s history with human reproduction was the last thing he wanted to know. He tried to scrub his mind clean of the unwanted images. Meanwhile, Vash just continued to play with Nicky. The infant babbled happily at the attention. Time was passing in pleasant silence. 

Until it wasn’t.

“Do you ever think about Rem?”

Knives almost didn’t even realize the words had come out of his mouth until Vash stared at him with wide, scared eyes.

“What? Where did that come from?”

“You don’t think about her?” Knives continued.

Vash placed Nicky back into the crib. The silence was heart pounding. Knives didn’t like it. Vash was usually so eager to answer.

“I do. All of the time. How could I not?” Vash sighed. “Do you think about her?”

Knives couldn’t get rid of the rock in his throat. All of the thoughts from earlier came rushing back the moment he caught a glimpse of Nicky in the corner of his eye. He felt so small in the chair. Vash’s expression fell the longer he stayed silent.

“Not… often.”

“But?”

“Sometimes when I see Thompson taking care of her offspring–”

“You see Rem,” Vash interrupted.

Knives nodded his head. “From before Tesla. Before she had to tell Conrad about us. When things were still… hopeful.”

“Do you miss her ever?”

Again, Knives couldn’t answer right away. It was nearly impossible to speak. But he was able to make the words come out, heavy and viscous on his tongue. “I don’t know. All I know is that she’s still the reason why you keep getting hurt. She saved the humans. You put yourself in danger for them. All because she tried to impose her values onto us.”

“I don’t think that’s what it was. I think she was trying to help us to be good people.”

“Good is subjective. I’m good to our sisters. You’re following Rem’s version of good.”

Vash sighed. “Do you really want to have that conversation again?”

“No. I don’t. I’ve already resigned to the conclusion.” Knives looked up to his brother, exhaustion obvious in his expression and posture. “I think… I might actually be glad she helped you.”

“Oh?” Vash smiled and looked back at the baby in the crib. By now, Nicky had fallen asleep. “And I think, in the end, Rem helped us both. I’ve seen you be kind and… it gives me hope.”

Knives’s stomach curdled. He didn’t know what to even say to that. It was far more optimistic, even for Vash. Knives had done worse than just ignoring an infant. So much worse. And yet, Vash still believed he could be capable of more.

Knives doubted he could. He was barely hanging on as it was. No better than Nicky.

But…

Maybe one day, he’d be able to stand on his own two feet again.

Chapter Text

“Two orders for chili and another for a grilled cheese. But they wanted pickles on it? Dunno why. Cooking pickles sounds bad…”

“Wait. More chili?” 

Vash turned from his usual spot at the stop top to face Meryl, who was barely peaking into the room. Thankfully he was doing some prep work for the dinner service. Most of the vegetables had been put up and now he was working on preparing stock. Or he was supposed to.

The grilled cheese might take a few minutes to make, but the chili was already benign and kept warm in a large pot on the back of the stove. He was able to make up the two bowls Meryl called out before realizing he’d run out. 

Huh… That pot didn’t last long…

Vash finished the sandwich, making sure to add plenty of pickles. He was with Meryl– adding them to the bread as it was cooking only made the inside soggy. And then the pickles were soft and chewy rather than crisp. Awful! Well, Vash wasn’t going to say anything. People liked what they liked.

“Hey, Meryl?”

It was another moment before Meryl returned, bringing a serving tray with her. “All ready?”

Vash helped load up the plates. “Yeah, we’re good. But, we’re out of chili.”

Meryl grimaced, “Already? Lunch has barely started!”

The plant just shrugged. “I don’t know what I can say. It was popular today. I’ll make another batch. Just let people know it might be a while if they want to order.”

Meryl lingered for a moment to fix her hold on the serving tray. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Vash stared sullenly at the stock pot. It still had chili residue in there. That was probably fine– it wasn’t as though he was making something else. And half the vegetables were already cut up. But those were supposed to be for the stock for the dinner shift. With a groan, Vash procured bell peppers and jalapenos to chop up. He left some of the seeds in with the jalapenos. Meryl said it wasn’t spicy enough when he made it. But nothing was ever spicy enough for Meryl.

It was sort of funny to see how much hot sauce and extra chili powder she added to everything she ate.

The frown he wore grew into a wry smile thinking about it as he dropped onions, jalapenos, and corn to fry up into the pot to fry up. Next was the ground toma. He’d heard that back on earth, other animals used for food like beef and venison and mutton were far more common according to Rem. But those animals hadn’t been able to make a home on this planet. It made sense. And dairy products could be made by the plants or substituted to varying degrees of success. At least no one on Gunsmoke currently alive would care if he used toma instead of beef all the way out here in the middle of nowhere.

The meat was browning nicely in the pot along with the aromatics. Vash let it sit while gathering the other ingredients. Canned tomatoes, black beans, and kidney beans. So many beans. So many tomatoes. And there were the spices too.

When it came to spicing chili, Vash had no idea what the hell he was doing. He just dumped in whatever sounded good. Meryl would have lost her mind if she knew.

And eventually it was time to let the chili simmer. Vash hated this part. It took so long. But… at least it let him take a few minutes to watch Meryl.

The dining room wasn’t completely full but Meryl was still busy on her feet. There was something tickling about watching Meryl work. By now, Meryl’s well practiced customer service face fell away as she chatted with townsfolks. It was nice to see her so at ease amongst people.

Not too long ago, Meryl hid behind a thick mask of professionalism. It had been as well practiced as his own. When they first met, Vash couldn’t ever imagine Meryl letting loose. 

But getting so close to her had proven him wrong. And Vash had never been happier to be wrong.

Vash hadn’t been watching the dining room very long when the atmosphere changed.

The hairs on the back of Vash’s neck stood on end as he saw a large figure wrapped in a dark cloak stumble in through the door. Whoever it was had to hunch over to come inside. Meryl’s body language changed as she looked over her shoulder, going tense when she couldn’t see his face under his hat.

“Take a seat and I’ll be right with you sir,” Meryl called out. Her voice was far more serious than usual.

The man nodded as he took a seat at the bar. He removed his hat to reveal a mop of long, white hair that hadn't been washed in a while and a glum expression topped with dull, golden eyes. He was still hunched over and stared at the bartop in front of him. And it only took Vash a few minutes to see the large firearm on his hip. And from the shape of it, there was another strapped to his back.

Vash stopped Meryl before she could approach the stranger. “Hey, do you mind checking the chili?”

Meryl’s brow furrowed. “I just had someone walk in.”

“I know. Don’t worry. I can take care of him.”

There was a beat of silence as Meryl glanced back at the stranger. “Bad feeling?”

Vash sighed. “Not… I’m not sure yet. But, it's a feeling.”

“Should I tell Agatha?”

He didn’t say anything right away. “No, it should be okay. I can handle this.”

Meryl looked incredulous for a moment but eventually relented. She disappeared into the kitchen and into relative safety. Vash put on his widest smile as he could muster as he walked up to the opposite side of the bar. The stranger looked up and Vash could finally see his face properly. 

Beyond the exhaustion, the stranger had obviously been out in the sun for a long time with sunburned cheeks and he was covered in a thin layer of dust. The right side of his face was covered in a spidery tattoo centered on his eye. And it looked as though his ear was… missing?

Vash realized he was staring and felt rocks tumble in his stomach. His smile faltered and his voice cracked ever so slightly as he spoke, “Hey there. Is there anything I can you started with?”

“Water.”

“Is… that it?”

“All I can afford right now,” the stranger said quietly.

Without another word, Vash turned on his heel and filled a glass to the brim. He added ice as a treat. He didn't know who this man was, but he had been in his exact position before. 

He hoped to whatever gods were real this didn’t bite him in the ass. 

The man only nodded in thanks and gulped nearly the entire glass down in one breath. Vash didn’t hesitate to refill it. Again, the man chugged until the glass was empty.

“Any food I can get you?” Vash asked tentatively.

The man shrugged, expression unchanging for now. “Like I said– can’t afford it.”

“Right…” Vash muttered. “So, been out on the road?”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

Vash nodded a little bit and leaned on the bar. “You’re packing a lot of heat there.”

“Uh huh.”

“Usually folks with fire power like that are after something specific. And in my experience things tend to get heated easily.”

The man grimaced a little bit. “That’s not my intention.”

“It never is,” Vash shrugged. “So… Why are you out on the road.”

The man scowled and glanced between Vash and the bar top. After a moment, he sighed wearily. “I’m looking for someone,” he said as he pulled a bent, yellowed photo out from a pocket. “The man there on the right. He probably looks a few years older by now. Maybe a little travel worn.”

Vash took the photo only to have his heart stop.

Looking back at him with familiar eyes so dark they appeared black and messy hair was Wolfwood. His face was pulled back in an annoyed scowl. There was a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. This picture could have been taken the day before. But… It hadn’t been.

The man hunched over the bar noticed the hitch in Vash’s breath. “You know Nicolas then?”

“Why are you looking for him?”

Vash was serious now. All of the muscles in his arms and shoulders tensed, ready to jump at the first sign of trouble. And the smile he was sporting was gone. In its place was a thin lipped frown.

The man either didn’t notice or didn’t care about Vash’s change of demeanor. He looked glumly back at the photo in Vash’s hand. “Nicolas was my brother,” he muttered.

Vash once again had to pause. His voice cracked, “Your brother?”

“Adopted brother,” the man corrected. “We were both raised at the same orphanage. Went into the same line of work. He disappeared a while back.”

Vash’s throat constricted as he stared at the photo.

“He was contracted to do a job and went off grid. After a while I started to get worried. Had a rough time for a while. And now I’m out looking for him. I was able to retrace his steps to an abandoned town near here. But then the trail went cold.”

“Why are you searching for him?” Vash asked again. 

The man perked up. His eyes were downturned and lost. “He’s my brother. I want to take him back home. We… were in a bad place for a long time. But I found a way out of it. I want to get him out too.”

Vash stared back at the man for what felt like an eternity. It was hard to believe this man was lying. The way he’d talked about Nicolas– his brother– had been so genuine. And he doubted that was even the tip of the iceberg.

“But you knew him? Or you’ve at least seen him?” The man sounded so hopeful now. 

There was a lump in Vash’s throat. His face twitched as he tried to keep a neutral expression. “Hey, um… I’ll be right back.” He didn’t wait for an answer before disappearing into the kitchen. When he was out of sight, Vash leaned against the wall and nearly lost all control. His chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath and his eyes stung with unshed tears.

“Vash?”

He looked up to see Meryl suddenly in front of him. She placed her hands gently on his shoulders and tilted her head to get a better look at his face. Her voice was soft, “Are you okay?”

For a moment, all Vash could do was stare forlornly. Then he nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay. Just something, uh… He knew Wolfwood.”

Meryl’s brow knit together as Vash’s words hit her. “Wait, what?”

“That man came in here looking for Wolfwood. He was… He said he was his brother.”
Meryl didn’t say anything for a moment then sighed. “I can talk to him if you like,” she offered. “I know that… Well, it’s not the easiest thing to talk about.”

“I know. But… I’ll be okay,” Vash reassured. “I just needed a moment.”

“Okay,” Meryl continued. 

She rubbed his shoulder in slow circles until he moved towards the counter. Carefully, Vash ladled out a bowl of steaming chili. He added sour cream and cilantro and green onions. There was cornbread on the side. Neither him nor Meryl said anything as he brought the chili to the man at the bar. 

He looked up from the photo and his expression fell when he saw Vash carrying out the bowl. “Oh, I, uh… I can’t really order anything. I don’t have the money to pay for it.”

Vash nodded, “I know. But, eating something is going to do you some good.”

The man was about to retort when they both heard his stomach grumbling as the smell of chili permeated the small space between them. A small, sad smile grew on Vash’s face when the man accepted the bowl. He was trying so hard not to act as though this was the first meal he had in days. Vash understood what that was like.

It was after a few minutes that the man spoke up again, sounding so earnest. “So… you mentioned that you had seen my brother?”

Once again, Vash’s chest tightened as the lump reformed in his throat. Words were sticky. There was no way to hide the sorrow and shame in the way he held himself. The man across the bar slowly grew to match as the realization something was wrong.

…

Meryl watched the scene unfold from the kitchen.

First the man, hopeful underneath his rough and tumble exterior, ate the chili Vash had worked so hard on. If he was the priest’s brother, it wasn't by blood. But that didn’t matter. He was still so concerned.

And it was that concern that made Vash slump. A dark cloud hovered over him as he tried to find the words to break the news.

Her heart cracked a little as Vash looked down in penance and the man across from him looked on in disbelief. She couldn’t hear their words. But what was shared was obvious. Vash’s back quaked as he fought to keep the sobs back. But eventually it was too much. Meryl saw the tears running down Vash’s face. All he was met with was stunned silence as Wolfwood’s brother clung desperately to a weathered, yellowed photo.

…

Livio couldn’t necessarily remember why he followed Vash out of the diner. 

He listened intently as the man– Plant? Angel? Nicolas had been cagey about the whole thing– told him what had happened over the last few years. Everything that Nicolas had refused to talk about during the very short calls and meetings they had. About how Nicolas had challenged everything his target said and still learned how to be kind. About how they both worked to help strangers. About the future Nicolas finally allowed himself to dream of.

And then Livio learned about how his brother died.

Razlo was rageful. Understandable, honestly. They had fought for so long to find a solution. And Nicolas was the reason why. And well… Now they were alone in the world. The Eye of Michael would have them flayed and left to rot in the sun if they tried to return.

But Livio didn’t want to go back. EOM was the reason Razlo had to stay in charge for so long. It was the only way they could survive. But Livio wanted more.

It wasn’t possible anymore apparently. Livio really didn’t know what to do. Razlo was a siren in the back of his head, demanding that they leave. There was no point in staying. And there was no point in following Vash back home. After their conversation, though, Vash had been nothing but kind to them. Livio told Razlo to shut up as he floated behind to the edge of town to a weathered two story home. It looked unassuming, which made Razlo’s alarm bells go off. 

“Fair warning,” Vash stared, pausing on the porch steps, “Knives lives here too.”

It took Livio a moment to realize what that meant.

His chest tightened.

“He doesn’t like interacting with new people, so you’ll probably be fine,” Vash continued. He opened the door with a high pitched squeak and waited for Livio to go inside.

The big man had to pause when he entered the threshold. He was faced with a well lived-in home. There were blankets and pillows tossed onto a lumpy couch and a bookshelf stuffed full of old books. From a side room– the kitchen?-- came the smells of something cooking. Curtains were pulled back to let in the sunlight.

But Livio’s attention was held by a woman sitting sprawled out on a quilt on the living room floor. She was busy knitting something small while an infant was crawling around next to her. After a moment, she looked up and grinned, face bright and sunny. “You’re home early, Mr. Vash!”

“Uh… yeah!” Vash stuttered. “Something came up.”

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with our new friend here, does it?”

Vash laughed then glanced in Livio’s direction. “This is Livio. He came into the diner earlier. He was… Wolfwood’s brother.”

The woman’s face paled after a moment. Then she mustered up a shaky smile, “Is that so?”

Livio gulped. “Yes, ma’am. I was looking for him when I met your friend. And–”

"It's okay. I understand.”

“Anyways,” Vash interrupted, “Livio is gonna stay with us for a little bit.”

Livio looked over. When had he agreed to that? Maybe that’s why Razlo was angry. But it wasn’t as though he had any other plan With Nicolas gone, there really wasn’t any point in going anywhere. Or staying for that matter. Vash disappeared before Livio could ask questions.

Minutes passed of Livio standing awkwardly in the doorway when the woman smiled sadly in his direction. “Mr. Vash said your name was Livio?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She glanced around the room and pat the spot on the floor in front of her. “It’s okay to get comfortable. If Mr. Vash thinks you’re a good person, then I do too. He’s usually a pretty good judge of character.”

Humming in absentminded agreement, Livio sat down on the floor across from her. He still felt out of place. The space felt so much bigger down here with the furniture and stairs looming over him. But he wasn’t alone.

The woman tilted her head and tried to smile again. Livio hated how forced it looked. “So,” she started quietly, pulling the infant back into her lap, “You’re Nick’s brother?”

Livio turned to face her, shocked, “Nick?”

“Wolfwood,” the woman explained. “I used to call him Mr. Priest before he asked me to call him by his first name.”

“I… just never heard anyone else really call him by his first name. Just me and Miss Melanie.”

“Miss Melanie?”

“The matron at the–”

“The orphanage,” the woman said softly. “He told me about it. We… We wanted to go back when everything was said and done. But, uh… that didn’t pan out did it?”

Livio’s stomach churned as he looked over the woman. She was smiling, though it was strained and faulty, while she glanced down at the infant. Livio could only frown back. “Who exactly are you? Vash didn’t say.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed suddenly, eyes going wide. “I’m Milly Thompson. I used to work with Vash, and that’s how I met Nicolas.”

“And you two were going to go to the orphanage?”

Milly began to play with the infant in her lap as they began to fuss. “Nicolas and I were… I guess the plainest way to put it was that he was my fiance. And well, I wouldn’t have Nicky without him.”

Eyes dropping down, Livio realized that the infant in Milly’s lap looked oddly familiar. The shape of his face and nose. Dark eyes. Even the color of the wispy hairs in his head were exactly the same. Livio wished he hadn’t noticed. Because Nick wasn’t here.

“He didn’t know I was pregnant,” Milly continued quietly. “But we were already together. And he loved kids. So, I think he would’ve been ecstatic had he known. Or maybe Nicky was a final gift he left with.” She paused and rubbed a stray tear from the corner of her eye. But, Milly was still smiling wistfully. “But he didn’t have to go.”