Chapter Text
A/N: If you can read this...click on "Show Creator's Style" at the top for better immersion! Well, you don't have to obviously, live your life diva. I formatted it so its readable regardless of if you have the skin turned on or off :P
Pidge added Shiro, Hunk, Lance, and Keith to the chat
Monday 15:32
Pidge: ok ok
Pidge: sorry it took long, but the communication messaging system is all set-up!
Pidge: the devices hunk and i made are pretty much the same as a regular phone
Pidge: (except infinitely better, cough cough)
Pidge: no need for service or wifi, so you can communicate to whoever from wherever
Pidge: also its always fully charged and its pretty much indestructible ^-^ youre welcome
Pidge: everyone say thank you team punk!
Monday 16:01
Pidge: ok maybe i’m just yelling into the void why no one gaf… :(
Hunk: Sorry! I was cooking with Allura and didn’t have mine on me
Hunk: Yes I got your messages!
Hunk: Ah man did I miss texting this is so great
Hunk: Go us!
Pidge: TEAM PUNK ON TOP
Pidge: erm ok everyone else send a message so i know their device is working :D
Keith: Working.
Hunk: Keith! Omg! Hi!
Keith: Hi, Hunk. :)
Lance: testtt test test test
Lance: omgg it works
Hunk: HI LANCE
Lance: hunk my beautiful sunshine sunflower peanut butter jelly sandwich
Keith: What?
Lance: wow my thumbs feel at home again
Lance: i can feel my dopamine receptors frying already
Lance: the masses crave for twitter
Monday 17:03
Shiro: Sorry, just got to my device. Thanks for working on this, Pidge!
Shiro: But I’m not sure what the point of this is. We have our comms already, shouldn’t that be enough?
Pidge: well!
Pidge: this gives us an alternative communication option in case we’re away from our helmets or unable to talk during a mission
Pidge: and it's just a quicker way to contact everyone, like if we’re scattered around the castle or something
Pidge: we can also connect to whatever universal internet or social media is out there
Pidge: it could be a good way of getting the voltron word out!
Lance: which is to say
Lance: txting and social media is fun!!!
Pidge: yes exactly
Pidge: texting and social media is fun!
Shiro: Fair enough :)
Keith: 👍
Monday 18:24
Lance: so i was thinking
Keith: Dangerous.
Lance: can we have a fun group chat name
Keith: Voltron.
Lance: no no no like
Lance: something funny
Lance: like an inside joke or niche internet reference you wouldn’t understand
Hunk: Pride of Lions
Hunk: Get it cause we’re all gay and a group of lions is called a pride and we also fly lions
Hunk: Hahaha
Hunk: Woah and our lions are also different colors too so its like a rainbow!
Hunk: Wait that’s so fun
Hunk: We really are a pride of lions!
Lance: i like it!
Lance: a bit on the nose but i can work with this!
Lance has changed the group chat name to Pride of Lions
Lance has changed the group chat name to Lion Pride
Lance has changed the group chat name to Gay Lions?
Lance has changed the group chat name to Gay Furries!
Shiro removed the group chat name
Shiro: Okay, that's enough.
Keith: What?
Keith: Since when have we all been gay?
Keith: Wait, how did you even know I’m gay, Hunk?
Shiro: Maybe the mice?
Pidge: the dreadful and yearning gleam that’s always in your eyes
Lance: the fingerless gloves
Hunk: …All of the above
Lance: yessss i love this keith callout
Lance: THIS IS SO FUN I LOVE GROUP CHATS
Lance: pls promise we will use this everyday and text all the time and be best friends forever and that this chat wont die in like a day
Shiro: We live in a castle in close proximity to each other, Lance. We can just walk to the common room and talk.
Lance: :(
Hunk: Also we’re already all best friends forever! No need for a group chat to prove that :)
Lance: :D
Hunk: On that note, dinner is ready!
Keith: 👍
Tuesday 06:00
Shiro: Good morning team, please be in your lions by 08:00!
Keith: K.
Tuesday 11:01
Shiro: Good job training today, team!
Keith: Thanks.
Pidge: 👍
Tuesday 11:45
Hunk: Did someone eat the purple fruit in the fridge?
Hunk: I was saving it for a new recipe :(
Lance: idk but it was probably keitj
Lance: keitj
Lance: KEITH
Lance: curse my beautifully large thumbs
Keith: It was Shiro.
Hunk: 👍
Tuesday 12:05
Hunk: Lunch ready!
Keith: K. On my way.
Hunk: :D
Tuesday 21:32
Lance: movie night anyone?
Lance: im introducing allura to the joys of earth rom coms
Hunk: ARE YOU SHOWING HER LEGALLY BLONDE?
Lance: YOU ALREADY KNOW
Hunk: IM ON MY WAY I HAVE SNACKS
Keith: Coming.
Pidge: just imagined keith watching cheesy rom coms and started giggling
Pidge: im defs joining
Shiro: Keith loves sappy love movies.
Shiro: He cried during Pride and Prejudice when Adam and I showed it to him.
Shiro: It was very sweet.
Keith: It was an emotional movie, okay?
Keith: And it was during the confession scene. It was a valid time to cry!
Lance: I LOVE THAT MOVIEGCHJAN
Lance: if however your feelings have changed i will have to tell you you have bewitched me body and soul
Keith: And I love I love I love you and never wish to be parted from you from this day on.
Lance: djchsmlnxn jsndka &2!:’a dhhM &-!:&/’ fka
Lance: we should all explode and die
Keith: ?
Keith: Okay.
Keith: I agree, I guess.
Keith: Anyways, I’m here.
Tuesday 23:15
Lance: [sent an image]
image description: Keith is laying with his head on Hunk’s lap. There are tears in his eyes as he looks at the TV. On the screen, Elle Woods is graduating from law school.
Lance: LEGALLY BLONDE IS KEITH APPROVED!!!
Shiro took a screenshot
Hunk took a screenshot
Pidge took a screenshot
Hunk: Awww, so cute!
Wednesday 06:00
Shiro: Good morning team, today will be a rest day. Have a good day off!
Keith: K.
Wednesday 08:32
Lance: goodddd morning everyone!
Lance: yk what i was thinking
Lance: this chat is boring
Lance: we need to use this for like
Lance: actual fun!!!
Keith: The war, Lance.
Lance: type shit
Lance: ANYWAYS HUNK CATCH THE HEART
Lance: 😘
Lance: ❤️
Lance: ❤️
Lance: ❤️
Lance: ❤️
Keith: What are you doing?
Lance: man you ruined it
Keith: Don’t call me man, I’ve been inside you.
Keith: Wait.
Keith: How do I unsend?
Keith: That was a joke.
Shiro: Ok.
Shiro: Training at 09:00 now.
Keith: Fuck.
Wednesday 12:19
Hunk: Lunch ready!
Lance: YAYAYYAY
Hunk: :D
Wednesday 13:46
Lance: ok so do yall think spacetwitter is like
Lance: a real thing
Lance: do u think theres like voltron stans
Lance: i wanna see a thread on 50 badass ways the blue paladin saved a planet
Lance: THERE IS AN APP OMG I LOVE SPACE
Lance: ok i just made an account can yall believe someone alrrady took the bluepaladin username???
Lance: i had to use numbers
Lance: like a FAKE
Lance: FOLLOW ME @bluepaladin69420
Lance: oh god this is too embarrassing i cant have my username look ugly
Lance: was just informed that i could also do @THEbluepaladin so everyone follow that instead!!!
Keith: Pidge, is there a way to mute this device?
Keith: Or at least mute Lance.
Pidge: uhh
Pidge: we maybe forgot to add that feature
Pidge: sorry :c
Keith: You made a phone that's infinitely charged... but it doesn’t have a mute button?
Hunk: We had priorities okay! ;-;
Keith: I forgive you, Hunk.
Hunk: :D
Pidge: just break his device so he wont be able to text
Hunk: Holy cow did you hear that noise?
Hunk: Was that Lance screeching?
Hunk: Oh God did you actually break his device
Keith: Sorry.
Pidge: theyre supposed to be indestructible??
Keith: I was testing it for y’all.
Hunk: Aww, thats sweet! Thanks Keith :D
Pidge: bruh
Keith: :)
Pidge: brb hes bugging me already to fix it
Pidge: no more testing indestructibility, keith
Keith: :(
Wednesday 14:54
Lance: test test test
Lance: this shit on?
Lance removed Keith from the chat
Lance: never before
Lance: have i felt so betrayed in my life
Lance: im gonna write a rlly rlly mean callout thread on keith now on spacetwitter
Pidge: don't forget to send anonymous hate messages to his strawpage
Hunk: His what?
Lance: ok callout thread uploaded everyone make an account and retweet NOW NOW NOW
Hunk: Just did!
Lance: i’m in love w u
Hunk: Huh?
Lance: sorry mustve been the wind
Pidge added Keith and Allura to the chat
Pidge: ok made allura a device too everyone say hi
Pidge: also just made my twitter acc
Pidge: i wanna see how long it takes til im banned intergalactically
Hunk: Woah there are so many thirsty fans on this app
Hunk: [sent an image]
image description: It’s fanart of Lance. He is drawn doing his aerial silks routine. He is wearing notħīng ƀᵾⱦ -
This image has been deleted
Chat services have been shut down
░ｒ░ ░ｅ░ ░ｂ░ ░ｏ░ ░ｏ░ ░ｔ░ ░ｉ░ ░ｎ░ ░ｇ░
Pidge: ok i cleared the chat logs
Pidge: why would u send that my eyes have been tainted
Hunk: IM SORRY
Hunk: Ok but Lance looked really good! The artist really got the good side of his butt!
Lance: hunk i want you
Allura: Hello paladins! Oh this is so exciting!
Allura: Should I also install “Twitter”?
Pidge: NO
Allura: Oh ok!
Lance: hellooo princess
Lance: :D
Allura: Aww, that face is adorable!
Allura: :D
Lance: :0
Allura: ^-^
Lance: :P
Allura: :3
Lance: :{
Wednesday 17:54
Keith: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a screenshot of anonymous messages. The first message says “ur ugly outdated mullet intrigues me. i want u.” The second message says “blue paladin better lolllll”. The third message is a drawing of a badly drawn stick figure with an exaggerated mullet. A giant red X is drawn overtop it.
Keith: I wonder who these are from.
Lance: *shrug*
Thursday 02:54
Lance: im boreddd
Lance: who would die first in the zombie apocalypse
Pidge: you
Lance: :(
Thursday 14:56
Keith: Movie night at 19:00
Lance: whatcha watchin
Keith: Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Pidge: YES
Pidge: HOLY FUCK
Pidge: ILL BE THERE
Pidge: matt and i had sonic phases growing up
Pidge: i played every game
Pidge: tails is my inspiration
Lance: oh we can tell
Pidge: ????
Keith: I dyed my hair red for Shadow when I was 13.
Lance: HCHSJHjaj
Hunk: You are adorable and I love you
Keith: :)
Lance: wait
Lance: Wait
Lance: come to my bedroom rn
Keith: ?
Thursday 17:39
Lance: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a selfie of Lance with Keith in the background. Keith is sitting inside an Altean bathtub. There is red dye all over his face, hair, body. It’s also all over the walls. Keith is pouting at the camera while Lance gives a peace sign.
Shiro: Please don’t tell me Keith is bleeding out and your first thought was to take a selfie.
Lance: didnt know u knew that word old man!
Lance: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a picture of Keith. The excess red dye is washed off his body. He has red streaks in his hair. He is smirking at the camera.
Lance: look at this cool guy!!! >:)
Allura: Love it! :D
Lance: allura come over rn
Thursday 18:22
Lance: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a picture of Allura. She is smiling brightly at the camera. She has pink streaks in her hair.
Lance: MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS EVERYONE STAND UP AND CHEER
Hunk: AWWW :)
Shiro: Very pretty, princess!
Pidge: 👍
Thursday 23:46
Lance: EMERGCNY
Shiro: What is it? Are you ok?
Lance: we smoked the alien weed
Lance: sorry ik u said not to but :P
Lance: holy fuck keitj is litrally hitting the griddy rn
Shiro: Where are you right now? Do you need water?
Lance: my room
Lance: yes
Lance: and hunks cake STAT
Lance: both types if u know what i mean
Lance: tongue out emoji
Shiro: …
Shiro: I don’t even have words to describe the disappointment I’m feeling right now.
Friday 00:12
Shiro: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a picture of Lance and Keith. Shiro’s thumb is partially covering the picture. Lance is sitting with his legs splayed across Keith’s lap. They are both devouring Hunk’s cake (as in, the dessert he baked…you freak). There are notable red tints in their eyes.
Pidge took a screenshot
Pidge: blackmail material
Friday 13:12
Allura: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a photo of Pidge. She is wearing her paladin armor and she’s on the ground of an unknown planet. Their hand is covering their face.
Allura: Pidge ran into a wall... apparently they saw a pretty alien and didn't watch where they were going!
Hunk: Oh wow
Lance: #relatable
Keith: 👍
Friday 16:32
Hunk: Never
Hunk: in my LIFE have I had to deal with this
Hunk: I have never felt such fury or agony
Allura: What is it Hunk? Are you alright?
Hunk: I asked Shiro to wash the space rice
Hunk: Super simple easy right?
Hunk: Something a 27 YEAR OLD MAN WOULD KNOW
Hunk: THIS MAN GOES AND WASHES IT
Hunk: WITH FUCKING SOAP
Pidge: LMAO
Pidge: i cant believe im more shocked by hunk crashing out than shiro’s soap rice
Lance: shiro)?:?? what the fuck
Lance: since when have u been 27 :////?
Lance: old ass man
Shiro: I'm 28 actually.
Lance: DAMN
Hunk: Your mistakes will forever be fossilized in the logs of this chat, Takashi Shirogane. May your soul never find peace until the day you are laid to rest.
Shiro: 👍
Friday 20:43
Shiro: Don’t forget we have training tomorrow, please be at your lion by 09:00.
Saturday 09:02
Shiro: Training is right now. Where is everyone?
Lance: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a selfie with Lance and Hunk in the Altean pool. They are both on floaties wearing sunglasses despite there being no sun. Hunk is giving two thumbs up and a bright grin, while Lance is giving him an obnoxious kiss on the cheek.
Pidge: [sent an image]
image description: Another selfie featuring Pidge and Allura. The phone is angled so Pidge’s forehead looks comedicaly big, and they’re giving a shit-eating grin. Allura is sitting behind them, putting hair clips in their hair and smiling brightly. The mice are on her shoulder.
Keith: [sent an image]
image description: It’s a middle finger.
Shiro: Okay.
A/N: Everything below this line is the same text as above except NOT PROPERLY FORMATTED! Don't ask. I can't remove it because it's necessary for the stylized skin to work. I really hate CSS/HTML but I need to use my engineering degree somehow.