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Martyn breathed deeply, enjoying the warm spring air. It had been a long and cold winter, and he was happy to finally be out in the sunshine. Ren had invited him to a cafe for lunch to celebrate the change of weather and to catch up with his friend. Since Ren was a hermit, the werewolf rarely left the server for anything, so Martyn didn't get to see him much.
Martyn wouldn’t admit it, but he dearly missed Ren, and had been waiting for this meetup all week. He neared the cafe, seeing Ren at one of the outside tables talking with someone. Martyn walked over and waved, “hey Ren! Who is your friend there?”
Ren’s ears perked up, “Martyn my dude! Glad to see you!” He beamed, “sit down! I'll introduce you.” He gestured to the empty seat next to him. Once Martyn was seated and had been given a menu, Ren gestured to his friend, a tall man with goat’s horns and a mechanical eye. “Martyn, meet Doc. He’s a fellow hermit and-” he trailed off, a soft pink brushing his cheeks, “my fiance. He wanted to tag along and meet you.”
“Hello Martyn.” Doc smiled slightly, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Martyn blinked and extended his hand for Doc to shake, “Wish I could say the same.” he chuckled. “I didn’t realize that you were engaged Ren.”
“I can hardly believe it myself, it happened so quick-” Ren smiled, placing a paw on Doc’s hand, the platinum engagement ring shining in the sunlight. “But enough about that, how have you been?”
“Oh- hah- not much really. Hanging out with Scott and Timmy for the most part, playing on the occasional SMP, the usual.” Martyn rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a lump form in his throat.
“That’s good. Next time you see them, tell them I say hi!” Ren grinned, “I dunno when I’ll be able to see them next on account of being busy with planning n all-”
A waiter interrupted the conversation, taking Ren, Doc, and Martyn’s orders. Once they had disappeared back into the cafe, the trio resumed their conversation, which consisted mostly of Ren and Doc talking about the upcoming wedding.
“Actually- I did want to ask you something Martyn.” Ren smiled, “I’ve thought about it, and I've talked with Doc and- oh well how do I put this- I can’t imagine the wedding without you as my best man.”
Martyn blinked, “I’d be honored Ren-” he smiled.
“Perfect!” Ren’s smile widened and the soft thumps of his tail hitting his seat could be heard.
The waiter came back with the food, and the three began to eat. Martyn stole occasional glances at Ren as he picked at the salad he ordered. Ren was getting married, that was good! Doc seemed like a wonderful man and Ren would be happy to see him, but god he wished it wasn’t so.
Maybe a part of him wished he was the one Ren was marrying.
No, no, no. That's awful Martyn! He shook his head and turned his attention to his food, shoveling a bite into his mouth, hoping that the lump in his throat would go away as he ate. He swallowed and time seemed to slow as Martyn realized that the food had gotten stuck and he couldn't breathe anymore.
Shit…
Seconds felt like hours as he quietly suffocated. Somewhere else, Martyn could hear Ren’s voice, but the present threat of choking drowned out whatever Ren was saying. Eventually he managed to get himself to cough up the food blocking his throat along with a concerning amount of blood as well as…. A yellow flower petal?
Doc and Ren’s presence at his side dragged Martyn’s attention away from the flower, “Martyn! Martyn, are you ok..?” Ren rubbed the man’s back, looking worried.
“You coughed up blood.” Doc added, his voice steady but concerned, “that isn’t normal-”
“M’ fine-” Martyn slurred, reaching for his napkin to wipe the blood from his hands. “Wen’ down the wrong pipe-” He coughed into the napkin, ignoring the way that more blood stained it.
“You should get checked out-“ Doc muttered.
“No no-” Martyn waved him away, “I’ll be fine, I can just go home and sleep it off- I’ll feel better tomorrow.”
“Well then we will walk you home.” Ren announced, “I’ll go pay the bill and we can go.”
“Ren I can-“
“None of that.” Ren cut Martyn off, “Can’t have my best man hurting himself, and as for the food, it’s on me.” Martyn groaned as Ren walked off to pay.
Doc kept his eyes trained on Martyn, “you know it isn’t normal to be coughing up blood. You should get that checked out.”
Martyn shook his head, “I’ll be fine.”
“Martyn-” Doc sighed, “you don’t just cough up blood after choking like that. There has to be some underlying condition.”
Martyn shrugged, “first time for everything.” he stood up from his seat as Doc sighed.
Ren came back and put an arm around Martyn, “alright. You are going home and resting.”
Martyn sighed and allowed Ren and Doc to walk him home, only stopping when he had another coughing fit, complete with more blood and a couple flower petals that he managed to shove into his pocket before anyone else saw.
Eventually the trio got to a secluded house. Martyn smiled and walked up to the front door, “Thanks for taking me home.”
“Of course!” Ren smiled, “Now go rest, I’ll message you later about the wedding.”
Martyn nodded and waved before disappearing into his home. He closed the door and watched Ren and Doc leave from the window. Once the pair was gone, Martyn slumped against the wall, exhausted.
That probably couldn’t have gone worse if Martyn tried.
He was happy for Ren, he really was! Doc seemed like a wonderful man and they would be happy together, Martyn reminded himself. His chest grew tight as he brooded over his short cafe visit. He really was jealous wasn't he? He was jealous that Ren had chosen Doc, and that Martyn was clearly only Ren’s friend. Martyn felt betrayed in a way, but he couldn’t voice that, not to Ren at least. The last thing Ren needed was Martyn’s confession before he was going to be married.
Martyn started to feel nauseous, then he gagged. He pulled himself to his feet and stumbled to the bathroom. He barely managed to pull himself to the toilet as he threw up blood and flower petals. God, that was too much blood. Martyn gagged and coughed out the rest of the petals into his hands. He sighed and let the bloody petals fall into the basin of the toilet.
Martyn eventually got up from leaning over the toilet. He moved to the sink, washed his hands and face, then rinsed the metallic taste of blood out of his mouth. After that, he sluggishly made his way to the living room and plopped down on the couch and passed out, exhausted.
It was hours before Martyn woke again, his house was dark and he could hear crickets chirping outside. Martyn groaned and checked his phone, the time read 9:24 PM. He sighed loudly and put his phone back in his pocket. His thoughts turned back to the events of the day, to Ren’s announcement that he was going to be married.
God if only the ground would swallow him whole right now.
He sighed as the taste of blood made itself known. He groaned and swallowed back the blood. He knew he should call someone about throwing up blood and flowers, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts until he landed on Jimmy Solidarity.
He thought for a moment, Jimmy probably wouldn't be able to help with the blood part, but he was pretty good at comforting others. Lord knows Martyn needed a little comfort right now, he made a mental reminder to call an actual doctor before he pressed the call button and put it on speakerphone.
“Hello?” Jimmy’s voice rang out, Martyn could hear voices in the background, Jimmy must have guests over. Martyn internally kicked himself for calling, wishing he had texted instead. “Sorry for the background noise, Joel and Scott are over for dinner.” Jimmy continued, “What’s up Martyn?”
“Hey Jimmy.” Martyn sighed.
“You sound sad.” Jimmy cooed, “what happened?”
“Well- uh-” he paused, “I met up with Ren today.”
“That’s cool! How is he? You finally confessed to him?”
Martyn’s chest tightened, “He’s getting married Jimmy, he asked me to be his best man”
Jimmy went quiet for a moment, “oh…” was all he said.
Martyn stared at his phone, wishing Jimmy would say something else. His breathing grew labored and his chest tightened further as the silence droned on.
“... how are you taking it?”
“I threw up.”
“Oh.”
Another long stretch of silence that was broken when Joel’s voice came through the speaker, “Jimmy why are you making that face? What did Martyn say to you?”
“Oh Joel it's not-” Jimmy protested. There were the unmistakable sounds of a scuffle as Jimmy tried to keep the phone away from Joel.
“Just put it on speaker!”
“No! I don't think Martyn would want-”
The sounds of the scuffle as well as Joel and Jimmy’s voices got quieter as soft footsteps walked away from the skirmish. Eventually a third voice in a familiar Scottish accent spoke up, “Hey Martyn, are you still there?” Scott asked.
“Yeah-” Martyn mumbled.
“Do you feel comfortable talking to me about whatever it is you and Jimmy were discussing?”
“What happened to Jimmy and Joel?”
“They are… well they are busy to say the least.”
Martyn let out a dry chuckle, “Sounded like it.”
“So… about earlier?”
“Right.” Martyn sighed, “do you remember when I told you how I had feelings for Ren?”
“Of course.”
“Well- He uh- he’s getting married to another hermit.”
“Oh… Oh god Martyn-”
“Yeah it- it sucks.” Martyn coughed and groaned, tasting blood.
“You alright? It sounds like you're gasping for air.”
“Yeah- i've uh- i think i've caught some sort of bug. My chest is tight and my throat hurts.” Martyn decided against telling Scott about throwing up blood and flowers for the sake of both their sanities.
Scott stayed silent for a moment, “you're at your house right?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright. Me, Joel, and Jimmy will be over soon.”
“Scott you don't have to-” Scott hung up, Martyn stared at his phone screen as it turned off. He sighed and buried his face in the couch cushions. Eventually he sat up, as he didn’t want to stain his couch with any blood he coughed up and breathing already felt like a monumental task without a cushion on his face. He checked his phone and saw a notification.
Rendog
Hey Martyn! Hope you’re feeling a little better! I just wanted to…
Martyn smiled slightly, but didn’t click on the notification to read the full message. He got up and went over to the kitchen, determined to wash the blood out of his mouth, he didn’t need Scott, Jimmy, and Joel even more worried for him.
A knock came from the front door as Martyn finished rinsing his mouth. He walked over to the door and opened it. Outside stood Scott with Jimmy and Joel in tow.
“I appreciate your concern but I don’t think this is necessary.”
Scott crossed his arms and gave Martyn a stern look. Jimmy huffed, “Martyn you just had the man you love not only friend-zone you, but tell you he’s getting married.”
“And you’re sick.” Scott added, “Now let us in so we can make you practice self care.”
Martyn sighed, “I’m not getting outta this am I?”
“Nope.” Jimmy and Scott chorused.
“Mate they won’t even let me leave. You aren’t going anywhere.” Joel said, earning a painful elbow to his ribs from Jimmy.
Martyn blinked and sighed again, “fine. come in.” he opened the door wider and waved the trio inside.
~~~
“Damn…” Scott mumbled as Martyn finished his recounting of the day's events (sans the parts where he coughed up blood) “Thats…”
“Awful.” Jimmy finished his thought.
Martyn shrugged, “It’s fine.” he mumbled, “I’m happy for Ren.”
“Don’t lie to yourself Martyn.” Joel said, “You don’t have to bottle it all up.”
Martyn sighed, “I-” He closed his mouth and sighed, putting his head in his hands. Memories of Ren flooded into his mind as the all too familiar metallic taste of blood crept into his mouth.
Seconds stretched as the room stayed silent. Martyn began to panic as he realized that he was struggling to breathe evenly. His chest constricted as blood pooled in his mouth as petals tickled the back of his throat.
Not here… Not in front of them…
“Martyn?” Whoever was talking sounded distant. His breaths got short and irregular as Martyn strained to get enough air. God it felt as if someone had stuffed cotton into his lungs, making it impossible for him to breathe properly.
“Martyn, can you hear me?”
His body felt numb as the world went dark for a moment. In one moment he was in the chair and the next he was lying on the floor. Jimmy, Joel, and Scott knelt above him, looking worried.
“Martyn stay with us!”
“Oh god, he’s pale as a ghost…”
“I’m on the phone now-”
“Why is there so much blood?!”
“I don't know… I don’t-”
Martyn took as deep a breath as he could muster, determined to keep himself awake, but the cotton in his lungs made his breaths short. Jimmy looked down at Martyn and said something that Martyn couldn’t quite catch before the world went dark again as multiple voices rang out.
~~~
The next time he woke up, Martyn was in a bed. Not his own bed, but a hospital bed. His limbs felt numb and his head was pleasantly fuzzy.
What happened? Last he remembered he was sitting in his living room with Scott, Joel, and Jimmy, talking about Ren. Then he was on the floor, then nothing.
As the fog in his mind began to clear, he noticed that he had an oxygen mask on and an iv in his arm. His breathing was easier now, the taste of blood and flowers in his mouth was gone. Scott sat on his phone nearby, an unreadable emotion on his face.
Martyn groaned and shifted in the bed, grabbing Scott’s attention. Scott’s eyes widened and he walked over. “Martyn?”
“Hey-” Martyn managed, “Where are-”
“Joel and Jimmy went out to get food and pick up Lizzie.” Scott cut him off, “also the doctor said that you shouldn’t waste your breath by talking too much. You’re already having a hard enough time breathing.”
Martyn sighed, “What happened?”
“You went quiet before coughing up blood and flower petals, then you passed out. Joel called paramedics while me and Jimmy tried to keep you breathing. The medics examined you and immediately took you to the hospital.” Scott paused, “They won’t tell us what’s wrong. Something about it being deeply personal. You’ve been in and out of consciousness for the past 7 hours. Joel, Jimmy, and I have been keeping an eye on you the entire time.” He paused again, “Martyn, did you know about this?”
Martyn sighed, “I knew about the blood and the petals, and yeah, my chest has been pretty tight lately.”
Scott let out a long sigh, “Martyn…” he mumbled, his voice laden with emotion, “You almost died…”
Martyn didn’t reply, letting the sounds of his heart monitor fill the silence. Scott sighed and placed his hand on Martyn’s. “I’m just worried for you, and so is everyone else.” he laughed humorlessly, “did you know my phone has been blowing up for the past few hours as everyone and their mother has tried to call me for an update on you? That’s absolutely insane if you ask me.”
Martyn shrugged, a small smile on his face. Scott continued, “however I made sure to only allow myself, Jimmy, Joel, and Lizzie in the room for now. Don’t want you over-exciting yourself and passing out again.”
“Well I’ll be honest. I don’t think I’m going to be doing that any time soon. I feel much better.” Martyn sighed. “Thank you though.”
“Good.” Scott sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Never scare me like that again.”
“Can do.” Martyn chuckled.
The pair sat in comfortable silence until Joel and Jimmy returned with Lizzie and a few bags of takeout. The moment they saw Martyn, they stopped their conversation and ran over to his bed. “Martyn!” Jimmy called out, “Oh god, you’re ok…”
“Hey Timmy-” Martyn smiled, “how are you doing?”
“How am I doing?! Martyn, how are you doing?! You stopped breathing!”
“Ehhh- could be better.” Martyn shrugged. “I rate it a two outta ten.”
Jimmy looked as if he was going to cry, “Never do that again dude.”
“I don’t plan on it.” Martyn smiled.
“Good.”
Eventually Scott, Joel, Lizzie, and Jimmy were escorted out and a doctor entered, “Hello there. Martyn Littlewood I presume.”
“That's me.” Martyn smiled, “I presume you are here to tell me why I was sent to the hospital over passing out?”
“Yes,” the doctor sighed, “it is quite serious.”
“Just give it to me straight, doc.” Martyn huffed.
“Tell me, have you heard of Hanahaki disease?”
~~~
Martyn walked out of the hospital, his heart heavy.
‘It’s a rare but deadly loveborn disease caused by a one-sided relationship.’
So Martyn was fucked, he loved Ren so much that it was literally killing him via a flowering plant in his lungs. It also meant that Ren didn’t love him back, which of course made sense, but god did it hurt to have it told to him so bluntly.
‘How long do I have? Can I cure it?’
The doctor said that at the rate Martyn was going, he had months, maybe a year if he was lucky. Treatment was either surgery to remove the plant and his memories of Ren, or get Ren to love him back. Both options weren’t very viable, Ren was going to be married and there was no way Martyn was going to be a homewrecker! He couldn’t just get the surgery either, seeing as there was no way he was going to forget Ren when he was going to be the best man at the wedding.
He was just going to have to keep this a secret till after the marriage, then he could consider the surgery. (if he was even still alive then)
‘flare ups happen when you feel intense emotion toward the person you love.’
That was the other thing, how the hell was he supposed to hide that when he was helping with the wedding? Coughing up blood and flowers wouldn’t be easy to hide, and if he passed out again, Ren would make it his mission to find out what was wrong, Martyn was sure of it.
That was, if Ren hadn’t already found out about what happened.
Shit. What if he had found out?
Martyn immediately opened his phone and scrolled past the hundreds of unread messages to find Ren’s contact.
Hey Martyn! Hope you’re feeling a little better! I just wanted to check up on you after the incident at the cafe!
Hello? Martyn? Are you asleep?
Martyn, Scott told me you had to go to the hospital, what’s going on?
Martyn i’m worried sick, are you ok?
Hey man, could you call me when you can? I want to know if you’re ok.
Martyn sighed, and decided to call. Ren had a right to know that he was at least ok. He pressed the dial button and held the phone to his ear, taking a deep breath to combat the feeling of his chest tightening.
Ren picked up immediately, “MARTYN! Oh gods above you're ok! I’ve been worried sick about you- Scott said that the staff wouldn't tell him anything about what was wrong for privacy reasons and-”
Martyn chuckled, “I’m ok now Ren. Feeling much better, the nurses cleared me and I’m discharged from the hospital.”
“Gods above dude! First you cough up blood and choke on your food, now this! Never scare me like that again! Got that?”
“Of course mate. Sorry for that.”
“Good. I don’t think I could continue the wedding if something happened to you… you're probably my best friend, I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt or dying…”
Martyn went silent as tears pricked at the edges of his eyes, his chest tightened further and the familiar taste of blood flooded his mouth. God the universe wasn’t being kind to him right now, was it?
“Martyn? Martyn, are you ok?”
“Hmm..? Oh yeah totally- just spaced out.”
“Are… you sure?”
“Totally.”
“Alright. I trust you man… But I’m curious, may I ask what happened?”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you need to go to the hospital?”
“Oh uh-” Martyn tried to quickly come up with a lie, “turns out I was sick, and I overstressed myself today with our cafe date and all-”
“Yikes… but you're ok now right?”
“Yeah. I am.”
“Good.
~~~
Months passed, and Martyn slowly got worse. It got harder to breathe and throwing up petals became more common. Martyn didn’t know who to tell, too afraid that the information would make its way to Ren.
He was doomed every way he looked at it.
Wedding preparations added another layer of complexity to it all, being in close proximity to Ren for long periods of time was not very good for his health, and helping the man he loved most plan his wedding to another person was devastating to his sanity, which in turn worsened his condition.
And yet, Martyn found himself sitting in Ren’s home with some of the other groomsmen, helping Ren with the wedding. Martyn’s head felt fuzzy, and everything felt so far away. He stared absentmindedly and nodded his head slightly whenever he deemed necessary.
He focused on pretending to pay attention, praying that Ren wouldn’t direct a question at him. It worked for a little, until Martyn felt a nudge on his shoulder. Big B was looking at him, a worried look in his eyes. “You ok..?” he whispered.
Martyn nodded, “Yeah…”
“You’re breathing weird.” Big B replied, face hardening.
Martyn mentally cursed himself, “It’s a weird tickle in my throat.”
Big B didn’t seem to believe him, but let the issue drop anyways. They went back to paying attention to Ren and the other groomsmen.
Eventually Martyn excused himself to use the bathroom, quickly closing the door and running to the toilet, feeling the flowers rise back up in his throat. He coughed up blood and petals then groaned as his throat burned. He continued to lean over the toilet and cough up the occasional flower, but froze when he felt a hand on his back.
He quickly turned his head to see Big B kneeling beside him, his face full of concern. “Martyn, are you ok?”
“B- Don- Don’t tell Ren…” Martyn slurred, “please.”
BigB’s face hardened, “Tell me what’s wrong then.”
“Not here…” Martyn managed before throwing up more petals.
Big B nodded, “alright. Let's get you cleaned up and go home early.”
“What?”
“Ren won’t mind. He’s basically wrapping up anyways.”
Martyn sighed, coughing out the last stubborn blood-stained petals. He let BigB help him up and clean the blood from his mouth and the toilet. They walked out into the living room, Big B’s arm around Martyn. Ren looked over, “Hey you two! What’s going on?”
“I remembered I have something important I need to do that requires help, so I’m stealing your best man.” Big B grinned, “sorry not sorry.”
Ren huffed, “fine. However I do require adequate repayment!”
“Of course!” BigB smiled as they made their way to the door, “See you Ren!”
“Bye!”
~~~
Martyn breathed a sigh of relief as BigB opened the door to his house and let them both inside. “Alright. I expect the full truth.” Big B said, “no lies, nothing omitted. I don’t care if you think I can’t handle it.”
Martyn nodded, sitting down on the couch, “Uhm… I’m in love with Ren.”
Big B gave him a flat look as he stood in front of the man, “Martyn everyone aside from Ren himself knows that.”
“I know! It’s just that… It’s killing me, literally.” Martyn paused, “The doctors call it Hanahaki. It’s a loveborn sickness.”
Big B raised an eyebrow, “What? Martyn, what do you mean?”
”There is a plant inside my lungs that feeds off my one-sided feelings. It’s slowly suffocating me.” His hand went to his throat. “I don’t even know if I’ll make it to Ren’s wedding.”
“Martyn… is there anything you can do?”
“Not without hurting Ren. The cure is either to try to get him to love me back and ruin his relationship with Doc. Or I can get it surgically removed and lose my memories of him, which I can’t do because I’m his best man.”
“You do realize dying will also hurt him… right?”
Martyn felt tears pool in his eyes, “... yes.”
“Martyn…” Big B sighed.
“There’s nothing I can do, B.” Martyn sobbed, “I can’t win. In every situation I lose Ren and he’s left heartbroken.”
“How long has this been going on?” Big B asked, “have you told anyone?”
“The day I passed out where Scott, Joel and Jimmy took me to the hospital. That’s when the symptoms first showed up.” Martyn paused, “and… no. You’re the first person I’ve told.”
“You’ve been living with the knowledge that you are going to die soon and didn’t tell anyone?”
“God, when you put it like that…” Martyn put his head in his hands.
Silence filled the room as Martyn tried to regain his emotions. He took as deep a breath as he could manage before speaking again. “Please… don’t tell Ren…”
“Martyn, he has a right to know.”
“It’d crush him B. He doesn’t need that, not before his wedding.”
“I guess but- Martyn you're dying. Not dying like losing all your lives in the life series, or dying then respawning in any other SMP, dying as in sleeping and never waking up.”
More silence, Martyn looked at his feet before looking up at Big B. “What would you do?”
“Hmm?”
“If you were in my place. What would you do?”
Big B looked down, “Well I’d like to say that I’d tell Ren and get the surgery…” he paused, “...but in reality I’d probably do the same thing you are.”
Martyn nodded, “yeah…”
“However I think I would tell at least a few other people. I know you don’t want this making its way back to Ren, but people ought to know.” Big B sat next to Martyn and put an arm around his shoulders. Martyn smiled slightly and leaned into the touch. “I know you’ve still got a few months, but for what it’s worth, you were an amazing friend. I’ll miss you.” Big B smiled.
“Oh god, I’ll miss you too B.” Martyn sighed. “You are a wonderful friend, and I’m sorry you’ve got to live with knowing about this…”
“Well I try…” B chuckled softly, “and don’t mention it. I’d rather you tell me instead of doing this alone.”
Martyn nodded and quietly leaned against Big B, “... It just feels surreal…” he sighed, “When I told Ren that I’d give my life for him during Third life, I didn’t think I’d actually be dying for him…”
“Funny how life does that to you I guess…” Big B replied, swallowing down the feeling of guilt that came with how they were talking about Martyn’s death as if it were an inconvenience, and not the loss of a life.
“... I haven't really thought about it… the fact that I am going to die…” Martyn admitted. “I mean we all die right? No one really escapes that.”
Big B paused, “yeah, that’s true.”
“Maybe I’m just bein all deep n stuff because I am actively dying and all… but I’ve just- never thought about it.” he paused, “I mean I’ve kind of come to accept it. I’ve always lived life to its fullest with EVO and the life series, so I don’t exactly feel like I’m going out unfulfilled…”
He went quiet again, and neither spoke for a long time.
“The wedding is in a month and a half…”
“Yeah…”
“... are you going to leave a letter for Ren after you…”
“If I can come up with what to say. If not then… well- I don’t know.”
“I’ll tell him if not.”
“Thanks B.”
“No problem Martyn.”
~~~
Eventually the day of the wedding came. Martyn walked down the hallway and knocked softly on Ren’s door. “Hey… can I come in..?” he asked quietly. The flower in his lungs had grown to the point where speaking had become harder, meaning that the few times that Martyn talked, he was soft spoken and hard to hear.
“Martyn is that you?” Ren asked, “Come on in my dude!”
Martyn opened the door and smiled, “so… it's the big day huh?”
Ren sat at a vanity. “Yep..!” He looked back to the mirror and continued to try and fix his messy tie.
Martyn shook his head and walked over, spinning Ren around and undid the tie, “nervous..?” he whispered.
“Very.” Ren confirmed, wringing his hands as Martyn neatly retied the tie. “I mean what if he has a change of heart? What if something goes wrong?” Ren looked down, “I just want this day to be perfect.”
Martyn paused for a moment, swallowing back flowers, blood, and guilt. “Ren, you are the loveliest man I’ve ever met. Doc is lucky to have you.”
“Thank you Martyn. It means a lot coming from you.” Ren smiled as Martyn finished the tie and stepped back.
“That’s what I signed up for when I agreed to become your Hand.” Martyn smoothed out the tie with a smile. “I said I’d do anything for you, including dying, and I meant it my lord.” He smiled softly.
Ren let out a soft chuckle, “you’ve not failed me yet hand.” he walked over to a nearby table that held two wine glasses and a bottle of white wine. He poured out a generous amount into both glasses and then handed one to Martyn. “A toast.” Ren held out his glass, “to Martyn, the greatest friend and ally I’ve ever had. May your days be filled with happiness and health.”
Martyn grinned and held out his own glass, “and to Ren, the bravest man I’ve ever met. May your life with Docm be prosperous and long.” They brought their glasses together with a soft clink before drinking.
Halfway through his glass, Martyn stopped to clear his throat, petals and flowers began to rise up his throat, making him want to gag. Ren looked over at him, eyes filled with concern. “You alright dude?”
“Went down the wrong pipe…” Martyn managed. He took another sip of the wine in hopes it would quell the stifling feeling from the flowers. “Ah, that’s better…” Martyn sighed, setting his glass down as he fought to take a deep breath. “Well I’ll leave you now, you’ve still got to get fully ready and I need to get dressed.”
He set his glass down and waved goodbye before leaving. Ren watched him retreat with a frown. He had heard from others that Martyn had been acting strange recently, more secretive and coughing a lot. He looked pale now, and looked as if he was breathing weirdly, that combined with the fact that Martyn had been so quiet lately made Ren concerned deeply.
Someone said he’s been acting like that since the man went to the hospital for reasons Ren still doesn't understand. He couldn’t help but feel like Martyn wasn’t being truthful when he said that he was all better. But alas, Ren hadn’t said anything, he didn’t want to intrude on Martyn’s personal life, but something seemed seriously wrong.
Whatever. He was probably overreacting and Martyn was fine. The man led a crazy life and had found himself in bad situations before, he didn’t need Ren there to protect him.
Ren huffed and glanced back at the doorframe Martyn had exited from before turning back to clean up the two wine glasses they had used. He paused, his hand hovering over the one Martyn had used.
There was blood in the glass.
Ren’s heart sank as he stared at it, his breath quickening.
Blood.
That meant that Martyn had been lying to him about his health.
The next hour went by in a blur, Ren couldn’t think about anything but the blood he had seen. Eventually False found him and led him to the venue, berating him about how he was going to be late to his own wedding.
“Ren- Ren! Ren, are you even listening to me?” False huffed.
“Huh..?” He asked in reply, barely registering what she was saying.
False rolled her eyes, “Ren what’s going on? You look like you’re grieving someone.”
“Well-“ Ren sighed, “… I’ve just come across some terrible news.”
“On your wedding day?” False scowled, “who dared?”
“No one did.” Ren sighed, “to put it simply, a friend of mine has been lying to me about his health.”
“Oh… I see.” False frowned, “… you can confront him after the wedding though. Focus on your happy day ok..?” She smiled at Ren, who quietly nodded.
“I’ll do my best.”
~~~
Martyn watched Ren and Doc take each other's hands at the altar and recite their vows, each word a nail in his coffin as his chest tightened further. By the time the priest said “you may now kiss the bride.” Martyn was feeling really lightheaded, breathing was near impossible and he could feel roots worming themselves into his flesh, leaves and stems forcing their way up his throat.
He clapped as Ren and Doc held each other close and kissed, then watched as they walked down the aisle. Ren was beaming as Doc walked him out, they both looked so happy with each other. Martyn made sure to ingrain Ren’s smile into his memories as the world blurred around him.
The guests in the chapel began to clear out and head to the reception. Martyn slowly made his way to a side exit and slipped out, hoping no one noticed him.
Once outside, he stumbled for a few feet before he fell to his knees and began to throw up blood and petals. He fought for breath that simply would not come as what felt like an endless onslaught of blood and flowers came from his throat.
‘This is it…’ he thought, ‘I am going to die here…’ Slowly, he lowered himself onto his side as his throat burned. Martyn’s vision soon went blurry, and he began to grow tired. He pushed himself onto his back, not minding the flowers in his mouth, and stared up at the blue skies until he fell asleep.
~~~
Ren glanced nervously around the reception, trying to find Martyn amongst the guests. His eyes landed on a blonde, but he deflated slightly when he realized it was Wels, not Martyn. Doc immediately took notice and leaned over, “Ren are you ok?”
Ren frowned, “I can’t find Martyn at all. I’m not even sure he’s here.”
Doc glanced around the party and nodded, “I see, that’s a little concerning. Why don’t you go look for him? I’ll stay here.”
Ren smiled at his now husband and kissed his cheek, “I’ll be right back.” He got up from Doc’s side and wand wandered around until he found Big B and Grian talking near the bar. “Excuse me gentlemen, but my best man is nowhere to be found and I was wondering if you two had seen him.”
Big B raised an eyebrow as he took a sip from his drink as Grian shrugged, “last I saw him was at the ceremony. Have you seen him B?”
Big B shook his head as he finished his drink, “can’t say I have, but I’ll help you look.” he set his cup down, said his goodbyes to Grian, and left with Ren.
The pair walked around, scanning the crowd for Martyn. After a while, Ren sighed and let out a soft whine. “I don’t think he’s here at all…”
Big B frowned, “I think so… no one has seen him since the ceremony…”
Ren put his head in his hands, “he’s not answering his phone either… oh god I’m scared…”
“Martyn can take care of himself-” Big B replied.
Ren shook his head, “no… dude this morning… We had a drink together and there was blood in his glass. He’s been lying about his health… what if something is seriously wrong??”
Big B’s stomach dropped. Martyn had said that he was lucky to have made it to Ren’s wedding, had he really been on his last legs during the ceremony? Was he suffocating alone somewhere? Was he already dead?
Big B fought to keep it cool as he took Ren’s paw in his own. “Listen. I’ll look for him, alright? I’ll call you if I need anything or when I’ve found him.” he looked Ren in the eyes, not having the strength to tell his friend of Martyn’s fate. “I’ll be back soon.”
Ren nodded, calming slightly. “Alright. Thank you.” he took a deep breath, “keep me updated if you can, and tell Martyn that I’m worried sick.”
“Will do.” Big B said before leaving quietly out a side door and stepping into the cool evening air. He took a deep breath and steeled himself as he set off to find Martyn.
~~~
Ren didn’t get the text from Big B about finding Martyn’s body until a few hours after Big B had stumbled upon it. B wanted him to spend a little more time in blissful ignorance before he brought it all crashing down. Ren was distraught of course, his best man and closest friend dying mere hours after his wedding was nothing short of a tragedy.
The funeral was held soon after, most everyone who was at the wedding attended to pay respects. Afterwards, Big B pulled Ren aside, his face solemn.
“Ren… can we talk..?” Big B sighed, “it’s… well it’s something important.”
“Of course man…” Ren’s voice was quiet and shaky, a byproduct of his mourning. “What’s up..?”
Big B took a deep breath and reached into his pocket, pulling out a letter addressed to Ren. “Martyn wanted you to have this after he died. He knew you’d want answers.”
“What do you mean..? You knew he was sick..?” Ren sniffled, taking the letter, “why didn't you tell me? Why didn’t Martyn..?”
“Martyn made me promise him… he wanted to- well the letter explains most of it…” Big B sighed, “I’m sorry Ren, but I promise it was for a good reason…” he paused, gathering his thoughts, “… just… take some time alone to read it, and then if you have any questions, ask me, alright..?”
Ren looked over the letter, tracing his name in Martyn’s handwriting. “Yeah… thanks B…” he mumbled, pulling Big B into a hug. “Thank you for everything…”
Big B immediately wrapped his arms around Ren and closed his eyes, “no problem… anything for a friend…”
That night, Ren sat down in his base and stared at the letter in his trembling hands. His eyes reading and rereading his name on the front. Did he want to know what Martyn had written for him? Ren wasn’t sure he was ready for whatever was inside… but not reading it? It felt like disrespecting one of Martyn’s last wishes.
Ren carefully tore open the envelope, and took out the letter. His eyes scanned over the full thing, a page filled with Martyn’s messy writing, tear stains that blurred the lines near the bottom. Ren ran his thumb over one, taking a deep breath, “alright Martyn… what were you keeping from me…”
Ren,
If you are reading this, I am dead. I’m sorry that things had to end like this, but you are the strongest man I know, and I know you will get through this.
That being said, I need to apologize for keeping you in the dark about what has been going on. The truth is, that night after you asked me to be your best man, the one where I had to go to the hospital, I was diagnosed with a very rare and very deadly disease, the type that slowly kills me. I won’t go into much detail, but basically a flowering plant is growing in my lungs, and it will cause me to suffocate.
I hid it from everyone because it was born from one-sided feelings I had toward someone, and I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining my relationship with them. I hope you understand, it wasn’t an easy choice, but I think it was the right one, as I don’t think I could have ever gotten them to love me back.
Hopefully, this letter has come to you after your wedding. I’d hate to be the person to spoil such a happy day for you and Doc. He’s a good man and if I had to choose anyone for you, it would be him. If he dares hurt you in any way however, I will come back from the grave to haunt him.
Also, do me a favor and do something really nice for Big B. He managed to find me out a few weeks ago, and has done a wonderful job thus far of keeping my secret (and if you are reading this letter, I assume he has continued to stay silent) I think this whole ordeal has put a weight on his shoulders, despite his insistence that he’s ok.
I’m really sorry for this my lord. I wish things played out differently, and that I didn’t have to put you, B, or anyone else through this. Alas, I’m getting all teary-eyed over this, so I think I am going to end the letter here so I stop ruining the paper. I’m glad I got to know you Ren, and I am proud to have served as your hand.
With love, Martyn Littlewood.