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The tile was peeling away from the wall, the kitchen dimly lit.
“Listen. You have to change the bandage or it’s going to get infected.”
Buck stood at the sink, the stack of dinner dishes piled up on the counter next to him. He glanced over his shoulder to see the half-lit figure of Eddie leaning against the fridge.
“I will once I finish these. Chris leave?”
“Yeah.” Eddie shuffled closer to the sink. “He told me they’re going to play video games all night. I give them an hour before they fall asleep.”
Buck scoffed softly. “We both know that kid could play for hours straight.”
“Yeah, he gets that from you.”
Buck looked down at the plate that was already scrubbed clean, hiding his smile behind the soapy water. Gets that from you, like he was Chris’s father too.
“Hey, wanna help me finish these dishes while you’re here?” Buck tried to hand Eddie a plate.
“No thanks,” he said, “I’d rather just stand here and watch you do it.”
Buck met Eddie’s eyes and they locked, Eddie’s soft smile creasing his face, lingering words filtered out.
Eddie couldn’t stop his eyes from flickering down to Buck’s lips, softly parted, pinker in the soft glow of the kitchen. He forced himself to look away after a second, because no.
“Want a beer?” He offered instead. That was safe.
Buck didn’t give any external signs that he noticed, but Eddie could have sworn Buck’s breath caught for a millisecond, but he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. He couldn’t have thought anything about that.
“I am never making lasagna again,” Buck groaned. “I think we used the whole cabinet of dishes.”
Eddie opened the beers and set one down on the other side of the sink. “Yeah, but it was damn good.”
“Maybe next time, I’ll add basil.”
“I thought you just said you were never going to make it again.”
Buck, now free from his plate-washing duty, lightly punched Eddie in the shoulder. “You know I know how you and Chris both love it.”
“Yeah,” Eddie said, his voice faint, “we do.”
With that, Buck paused. Eddie could see that he said that a little too—not-friendlike—and immediately changed topic.
“Your bandage. Gotta change it.”
It had been a routine call, until it wasn’t. Structure of a house didn’t have proper support. One of the smaller wooden beams had fallen and nicked Buck’s leg.
“I’ll change it before I go to bed,” Buck said dismissively. “It’s a lot of trouble for one small cut.”
“Is this your way of asking me to do it?”
“Are you offering?”
Eddie paused, the beer halfway to his lips. “Yeah, I am.”
Buck’s cheeks flushed. “You sure?”
“Wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”
Eddie went to fetch the supplies (Buck threw them in a random shopping bag next to his bed) and came back to Buck sitting on the counter, swinging his legs a bit.
“Why the hell are you sitting up there?”
An immediate blush appeared on Buck’s cheeks. “I—I just thought it would be easier. To reach, you know?”
Eddie shrugged. “Sure.” He pulled antibiotic cream and a fresh bandage from the bag and set them next to Buck, his hand brushing Buck’s knee as he reached down to Buck’s lower leg.
He told himself he was imagining the sharp inhale of Buck’s breath. Just like he had told himself he had imagined the lingering glances that happened between them. Or when Buck laid his head on his shoulder during movie night. The images that Eddie dreamed up before he fell asleep were bleeding into reality. They must be.
Eddie finished wrapping Buck’s leg and tapped the counter. “All good.”
Buck turned his head to look at the fridge, the other side of his neck finally being exposed.
“Oh,” Eddie said. “You must have cut your neck, too. I missed that.” He reached out to lightly touch it, Buck’s hand flying up at the same time, their fingers overlapping.
Neither of them moved. Buck turned back and met Eddie’s eyes.
Below his touch, Eddie could feel Buck’s heartbeat in his pulse. He didn’t want to move away. He wanted to stay right in front of Buck.
“Eddie?” Buck broke the silence, his voice barely above a whisper. His fingers had dropped, Eddie’s remained fixed to Buck’s neck.
Suddenly, he realized what he was doing and let his fingers fall. “Sorry, yeah.”
“Eddie.”
It wasn’t a question this time.
“Yeah, Buck?”
“Why did you come back?”
Eddie sighed, still standing in front of Buck. “Chris was ready to come home.”
“No,” Buck swallowed thickly. “Why did you come back after you got shot?”
They had only talked about Eddie getting shot one other time, in the same room they were in now.
“I realized I still had some things to do. It wasn’t my time yet.”
“Do you remember anything else? From after?”
“Like in the hospital?” Eddie was confused. What was Buck getting at?
“No, from right after you were shot.” Buck’s face was entirely fixated on Eddie’s.
“Well,” Eddie paused, internally debating whether he was ready to admit that he did remember saying something to Buck, “I saw you covered in blood, I think.”
“You did.”
“And I asked if you were hurt.”
It was the truth, but the second Eddie spoke the words, he wanted to take them back. In some twisted way, it was admitting that he cared about Buck more than himself, or—possibly even scarier—that he loved Buck enough to make the potentially last words he ever spoke asking if his partner was hurt.
Buck nodded. “You did.”
“What’s your point?” Eddie hadn’t moved from where he stood. He could feel the heat of Buck’s body radiating off of him and it was intoxicating. He didn’t think a bullet could move him from where he stood, close enough to—
Buck cleared his throat. “We just don’t talk about it much.” His hand brushed Eddie’s, which had somehow found its way to rest on Buck’s knee.
Eddie didn’t bother to move it. He smiled at Buck, letting himself want for a second. “You don’t have to worry about that happening again. We’re back, I’m back.”
Buck did his little huff of air-smile thing. “Good.”
“You’re stuck with me.”
“Thank God, who else is going to take care of me?” Buck had subconsciously shifted closer to the counter’s edge, closer to Eddie.
Without warning, Eddie gave in to the thoughts that started in the back of an ambulance, when he saw Buck covered in blood and imagined a world without the two of them, when he used his last breaths to make sure he was okay. He pushed up in between Buck’s legs and crashed their lips together, intertwining his spare hand not on Buck’s knee to slip into his hair.
Eddie felt a jolt of lightning that simmered into a fire spread throughout his body, the swoop making him feel slightly dizzy, the beer starting to kick in, but for the time being, he was getting drunk off of Evan Buckley.
However sudden Eddie’s movements, Buck’s were faster, pulling Eddie towards him, one hand on his cheek and the other behind his neck. Eddie is kissing me, and I’m kissing him, Eddie is kissing me, and I’m kissing him circling through his head until—
“Wait,” Buck broke away from the kiss, his chest heaving, trying to catch his breath. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
Eddie’s forehead creased, a flood of feelings starting to rush towards his brain. “Why not?”
“Because you’re straight.”
“Then why am I reciprocating?”
Buck hummed as Eddie pulled him back closer.
“If you want me to stop, then stop me.”
With what could only be described as a moan, Buck pulled Eddie back into a kiss, fervently trying to memorize the outline of Eddie’s lips, trying to fuse their skin together.
“Don’t stop,” Buck only said in response. He shifted his legs so Eddie could stand fully flush to the counter, his arms wrapping around his back.
Eddie craned his neck up and ghosted his lips over the tiny cut where their fingers had brushed earlier, Buck feeling a volt of electricity charge right through his body. Wherever Eddie touched, Buck had learned in the past 20 seconds, it set him on fire.
“You are a religion I never want to stop worshipping,” Eddie murmured into Buck’s lips. “If you’ll let me.”
Buck felt his body shudder with those words, a chill of adoration shooting down his spine. He pressed his forehead to Eddie’s. “Then let me take you to the altar,” he whispered back. “One day.”
Eddie pulled Buck gently off the counter and pressed a soft kiss to Buck’s lips. Their hands intertwined, and Eddie thought to himself he must be hallucinating.
“This is happening?” Buck whispered.
“Yeah,” Eddie breathed, his mind hazy from reality sinking in. “I couldn’t dream up something this good.”
Buck stared back at him with a faint expression of wonder, then his expression shifted. “You wanna go for the title?”
Eddie’s eyes darkened slightly, his cheeks tinging with a faint red. “Show me how to ride, cowboy.”