Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mira: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone

Rumi: I'm gone

Mira: Now go chop his dick off-

Jinu: Would you rather kill Baby, or-

Romance Saja: Yes, kill him

Jinu: I didn't say the other-

Romance: I don't need to hear it

Baby Saja: ...I'm feeling a little unsafe

Mira: What'd you say?

Zoey: What'd you say?!

Celine: I said whoever threw that paper, your mom's a ho!

Jinu: I got some ramyeonnnnnn (throws it in the pool)

(all of Huntrix jumps in the pool after it)

Rumi: I want to see my little boy

Jinu, holding the magpie: Here he comes

Rumi: I want to see my little boy~

Baby Saja: I'm about to sing a song :3

Mira: (hits him with a pillow) Move, btch, get out the way

Bobby: Me and my omelet (does a perfect flip) :O

Gwi-Ma: You know what, I love myself. Even though I look like a burnt chicken nugget, I still love myself

Zoey: LET'S GO GET SOME RAMYEON!!! (runs into a door) OW, I HATE MY LIFE!

Jinu: Get the F off my yard!

Zoey: (running away carrying a giant F)

Zoey: Mira look, it's the good ramyeon

Mira: This is the daiso (Korean dollar store), how good can it be?

Abby Saja: Oh, sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich~

Mira: Go back to sleep, and starve.

Rumi: (playing a keyboard)

Zoey: SAIL (kicks the keyboard over)

Mira: We all die, you either kill yourself or get killed. (dancing) Whatchu gonna do

Rumi: Bring the beat in!

Bobby: (running in with a beet) Anything for you, Rumi!

Mystery Saja (with spoons over his bangs): Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, I was too busy mmmmblocking out the haters

Zoey: It's summer! I got my hat on backwards and it's time to fuckin party (bangs her head on the door frame)

Jinu, pointing at a vegetable on the floor: Cabbage-tsu, cabbage-tsu, cab-bage-tsu

All Saja Boys, pointing at a vegetable on the floor: LETTUCU, LETTUCU, LETTUCUUUUUU!

Mira: I don't need friends, they disappoint me (dances)

Bobby: Two shots of vodka (pours in the whole bottle)

(Rumi holding a sign with "Demon" written on it)

Celine: There is only one thing worse than a demon. (removes a paper to reveal the word "K-Pop") Boom.

Zoey: K-Pop.

Celine: No-

Bobby: How do you keep your pants up when you're performing, it's incredible

Mira:

Bobby:

Mira: belt

Rumi: This bitch (Jinu) called me ugly, I said bitch where? He said under all that makeup, I said (wipes face) BITCH WHERE?

Celine: Let me see what you have!

Baby Zoey: a knIFE!

Celine, running after her: NO!!!

Rumi: (running, screaming)

Jinu, getting out of a car: Why are you running? WHY ARE YOU-

Zoey: When there's too much drama at school, all you gotta do is walk aWAYYYYyayyyyayyy

Mira: I saw you hanging out with Jinu yesterday

Rumi: Mi-Mira it's not what you think

Mira: I won't hesitate bitch (shoots her)

Baby Saja: How does it feel to be the worst Demon Hunter ever, huh?

Zoey: Shut up, your mother buys you MegaBloks instead of LEGOs

Baby: you f*ckin take that back-

Rumi: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Mira?

Mira: No

Rumi:

Zoey: I do!

Rumi: I know, Zoey.

Zoey: I'm sad

Rumi: I know, Zoey.

Chapter Text

(Mira zooms in on Zoey's face)

Zoey: where's the fettucine

Rumi: Hey mailman, whatcha got?

Bobby, holding up a letter "A": Just this LETTER!

Rumi: Ayyy

Bobby: Ayyy

Jinu's letter: Rumi, I don't love you anymore

Zoey running into Rumi's room at 5 in the goddamn morning: WAKE UP SLEEPYHEAD!!!

Rumi: Oh, what's going on-

Mira, sitting up next to Rumi: F*ck, girl

Zoey, running out: OUGHHOUGHHOUGH-

(honestly you could put the girls in any order for this one and it would still make sense)

Zoey: Look at how cute these pens are

Mira: Zoey, that's gay

Zoey: ...Mira, we've been dating for-

Jinu: Hi, hey hey, kids, kids, MYSTERY!!!! Honey can you be quiet, I'm just tryna-

(when Zoey took the girls on a vacation to the US)

Zoey: You guys, say Colorado!

Bobby skiing by: I'M A GIRAFFE!

Mira: Why is your report card on the ceiling?

Zoey: You said bring my grades up

Mira: ...I did say that, let me see-

Jinu: I play in a band. That's fun.

Celine: I was in a band...

(flashback)

Sunlight Sisters: YMCA, IT'S FUN TO STAY-

Zoey: Dear diary, today I couldn't find my diary, so I'm writing this on both of my Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs

Rumi: You should get the orange soda, it's amazing

Mira: Okay

Mira: I'll have the strawberry soda

Rumi:

Jinu (peeking in Rumi's window): Oh good, you're not busy

Rumi, putting on excessive amounts of makeup: Actually, Jinu, I am busy.

Zoey: Why you mad? Why you sad? When you can be (brandishes can of aerosol) glade

Celine: People say that time heals all wounds (does a funky pose)

Mira: My main goal is to blow up, and then act like I don't know nobody, hanhanhanhanhan-

Rumi: Kermit, what are you doing?

Zoey playing with a Kermit doll by putting it in Bobby's shoes: I'm dancing, bro! (dances)

Mystery Saja: I was thinking I'd do some magic

Jinu: You, magic? Mystery, it says talent show

(Mira squirts water in Jinu's face)

Jinu: MIRA I F*CKING HATE YOU (swings his bag around and hits Zoey in the face)

Baby Saja giving out balloons: I have no soul! Have a nice day!

Mira, taking one: I don't have one either

Baby: (tea kettle noise)

Rumi: Would you rather fight a bunch of kindergarteners-

Mira: I wanna fight kindergarteners

Rumi: Mira, that's not even the whole-

Mira: Those kids are gettin' slapped

Rumi playing with the tiger: This is my kitty cat, this is his kitty fat, it goes pat pat pat

Rumi after Zoey showed her a map of the US: Why is this one Kansas, but this one is not Ar-kansas? AMERICA EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S AR-KAN-SAW?!

Mira dicking around with dinosaur grabbies: CRAWLING IN MY SKIN-

Zoey: How Korean people shower?

Zoey in the shower: The same as you, you idiot! Yeah, we get nice and wet, then we get the ramyeon, and then, you know-

Jinu: You know, Baby, Digimon is way better than Yu-Gi-Oh

Baby Saja: Go be a furry somewhere else

Zoey: That place is haunted

Mira: Ghosts prey on fear, just be confident

Zoey marching into the men's bathhouse: I'M NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

Mystery Saja: The best part of waking up is-

Abby Saja: Dino chicken nuggets

Mystery: ...True

Chapter Text

Abby Saja: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Mystery Saja: That would suck because you can't microwave metal

Jinu: Good morning to everyone except these two people

Rumi: WTF people actually tell their crushes they like them????

Mira: What the hell do you do?

Rumi: I die? lmao what kinda question...

Rumi: Why is every author a #1 bestselling author

Zoey: Why is every toothpaste the #1 recommended toothpaste

Mira: Why do my parents hate me

Bobby: Why is every movie the #1 movie in Korea

Jinu: If I die my funeral's gonna be the biggest f*ckin party and you're all invited

Gwi-Ma: If?

Zoey: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die

Bobby: My sister (Zoey) just walked into my room, grunted "oil", and promptly collapsed on the floor

Mira: F*ck she got possessed by America

Abby Saja: I'm the animal and I kill things

Jinu: That's so problematic

Abby: Literally rooting through your garbage for meats right now

Rumi: You know, there's an entire delicious steak right here under this box propped up by a stick

Abby: Oh f*ck yeah oh f*ck yeah oh f*ck yeah oh f*ck yeah oh f*ck yeah-

Abby: where'd the sun go

Mystery Saja: I want to f*cking die, I was at the daiso and I carefully picked up an orange Gatorade and went "sexy boy..." because I thought no one else was around but it turns out I was WRONG. I know because I heard a quiet "what the f*ck bro" (Mira) from the next aisle over

Jinu: My question is why were you calling an orange Gatorade "sexy boy"

Mystery: How I feel about orange Gatorade is none of your business

Zoey: Make your own foot scrub!

Bobby: One, feet are pretty hard to make. Two, don't call me a scrub ever again

Mira: Please stop making me read this

Rumi: I went through an entire character arc during hiatus! I became more evil if you're curious

Zoey: Don't tell my wife I made bacon in the toaster

Rumi, getting out of the car: What the hell happened?

Saja Boys dressed as firefighters: She made bacon in the toaster

Bobby: I'm a proud owner of an IQ of 5 (and a half)!

Zoey: Not for long!

Bobby: Please it's all I have

Rumi: Five years ago I was a f*cking mess and now I'm a f*cking mess but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense

Rumi: Remember to drink water babes

Jinu: No

Rumi: Then become the dirt I walk on

Rumi: I want a baby

Bobby: Give me a week. What colour?

...

Rumi: I want a baby

Zoey: Oh. Just to hang out with?

...

Rumi: I want a baby

Mira: We're lesbians

Chapter Text

(Rumi filming)

Mira, playing with a Bop-It: Bop it!

Zoey, dancing: Kssh

Mira: Twist it!

Zoey: nRRah

Mira: Pull it!

Zoey: Oooh

Rumi at the Saja Boys/Huntrix signing event: No off topic questions. Because I don't want to. No, there's- no. Permission denied. That's an off top question. Next?

Mira: You have been stopped

Jinu, playing piano: First, let me hop out the (doot doot) Porsche, I wanted that

Mira: Shut the (doot) uuuup

Abby Saja: People are constantly asking me, what's it like to be a sexy- (falls)

(demons everywhere)

Bobby: Look at all those chickens

Rumi: How do you know what's good for me?

Celine: That's my OPINION!!!

Mira: She in the tub

Zoey: I'M WASHING ME IN MY CLOTHES

Mira: She drunk as f*ck

Zoey: BEETCH, I'm washing me in my clothes~

Mira: I wish I could hang, girls, but I gotta go hit the books

Huntrix: Awwww

Mira: (hits a stack of books with a bat) Okay, let's hang!

Huntrix: YEAH!

Baby Saja: So y'all see this bed? It's soft. It's comforTABle. I'm about to lay down and stay down

Bobby: Mira, ask me what kind of tree I have

Mira: No

Bobby: Mira. Ask me what kind of tree I have

Mira: No.

Bobby: Just- Mira, ask me what kind of tree-

Mira: What kind of tree is it.

Bobby: It's a Chris Pine

Romance Saja: 90% of the time, I have no idea what the f*ck I'm talking about

Rumi: Oh hi, thanks for checking in, I'm ~still a piece of garbage~

Baby Saja: Stop saying I look like Tae Young 4*Town. He's dumb, and he's a coward, and I am not a coward

(jk we all know Tae Young solos Baby)

Abby Saja: Someday I'm gonna own this goddamn town (takes a sip of whiskey) EUUGH I don't like whiskey, it burns my mouth

Rumi: Yeah, so he broke up with me

Zoey: Why are you looking up?

Rumi: I NEED TO CRY BUT MY FOUNDATION WAS 66200.12 WON

(yes I had to convert the dollars to won)

Romance Saja: Rumi is so annoying

Rumi: (jumps the fence, climbs the roof to the window) I heard you were talking sh*t about me

Romance: WHAT THE F*CK-

Mira: (drops in from the ceiling) I heard that you were talking sh*t and you didn't think that I would hear it

(epilogue)

Zoey: Three girls, chillin in the hot tub, five inches apart cause we're all gay

Rumi: What do you want to eat?

Gwi-Ma's voice inside Jinu's head: The souls of the innocent

Jinu: A bagel

Gwi-Ma: NO!

Jinu: Two bagels

Zoey making the tiger talk: My fellow Koreans, there is Ebola. In Korea. Which means: we are screwed

Rumi, handing Mira an empty ramyeon cup: Hey Mira, you want some?

Mira: This bitch empty! (throws it into the crowd) YEET

Jinu with a guitar: I love you b*tch

Rumi: oh my god

Jinu: I ain't ever gonna stop loving you, b*tch

Zoey: I spilled ramyeon in your Valentino bag

Rumi: YOU SPI-whahwhwhwhah- RAMYEON in my Valentino white bag-

Zoey, drunk in the car: Do it for the Vine, more like do it for MOTHER RUSSIA!!!

(Rumi and Jinu fighting)

Bobby: Can I get a waffle

All of Huntrix: Hey, I'm lesbian

Bobby: I thought you were Korean

(I don't care what Rumi did with Jinu that sh*t doesn't matter he's dead now)

Chapter Text

Zoey: And we'll never be royals

Bobby: ...Do I look like a little girl?

Jinu walking around town: And they were roommates

Groupies: oh my god they were roommates

Rumi: Do it for the vine!

Mira and Zoey: I ain't gonna do it!

Jinu: Do it for the vine!

Saja Boys: I ain't gonna do it!

Zoey: Hey girl, guess what?

Mira: What?

Zoey: Chicken butt

Mira: Get out of my room. Right now. Before I beat yo-

Rumi: Jinu has nineteen cans of soda pop, and he gives Gwi-Ma-

Mira: Wait, why does Jinu have so much pop?

Jinu, surrounded by Saja brand soda cans: MIND YO BUSINESS, MIRA!

Celine: Rumi?

Rumi: Yeah, auntie?

Celine: Don't fight an ugly girl, she's got nothing to lose

Rumi: I'll keep it in mind

Zoey: Disney pranks, with friends!

Zoey: Bibbidi bobbidi boo (throws glitter in Rumi's face)

Rumi: WHAT ARE THOSE!!

Baby Saja: They are my crocs.

Mira: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does.

Zoey goofing around with a bonnet and a hoverboard: Would anyone like some stew

Rumi, surrounded by smoke: Blaze it

Rumi: Just kidding it's from my superstar flavour RAM-HYEON!

Mystery Saja: (shoots a gun in the house)

Jinu: THIS IS WHY GWI-MA DOESN'T F*CKING LOVE YOU

Celine: They say the only thing to fear is fear itself, but I think demons should be feared, they're bastards

Romance Saja: What do we want?

Abby Saja: Weed!

Romance: When do we want it?

Abby: Weed!

Romance: I already said that!

Abby: What did we want?

Romance: Weed! I'm confused

(Mira outside)

(Birds chirping)

Mira, nodding along: Twicka twicka

Zoey trying to be friends with the tiger: Beautiful kitten, let me love you! MEOW! pspspspsps

(Tiger runs off)

Mira trying to be friends with the tiger: Well hello, Mr. Kitty. Can I pet ze kitty-

(Tiger runs)

Mira, chasing the tiger: Kitty, where's you going? Kitty, come back here, Mr. Kitty, Kitty where's you gOIN-

Rumi: Do you ever lay down, and then you start to cry, but you don't know why

Mira: The best part of waking up is going back to sleep!

(Huntrix playing dressup)

Mira: I'm sorry, Cinderella, you can't go to the ball

Zoey: But I love balls!

Mira: (snort)

Zoey: OH- hoho

(Jinu unlocks a locker)

Mystery emerging from the locker: Screw you Abby

(Zoey at the doctor)

Zoey: What the hell are you doing?

Han: I am doing my eyebrows

Zoey: That's a big-ass mirror!

Han: I have big-ass eyebrows

Jinu: If you could take one thing from a burning building, what would it be?

Abby: My Spiderman!

Zoey: My Barbies!

Mystery: The fire, wha-

Chapter Text

Jinu: I can't see myself swinging my hips and wildly gyrating my pelvis, I am not interested 

Mira: And the world heaves a collective sigh of relief

Zoey: Prepare to dish out the mighty wrath of justice!

Mira: Seriously? Just yell "get him"

(Abby and Baby's soda pop delivery service)

Baby: Will you let go of that stupid pop can already?!

Abby, being pulled around by a tornado: I can't, it's for the fans!

Baby: Who cares about the fans?!

Abby: I do!

Baby: Well, I don't!

(entire tornado stops) 

Abby: (gasp!) Baby!

(tornado resumes)

(at a Saja Boys concert)

Mira: Run for your life!

Zoey: This show is murder!

(Abby failing at life)

Gwi-Ma: Romance, you're creating a tornado

Abby: I'm Abby

Gwi-Ma: And I'm getting impatient!

Mira: Who parked their CAR on my RAMYEON?!

Abby: I did! :D

(Mira explodes)

(plane crashes)

(Zoey screeches)

Mira: Girl it's okay, we stopped

Zoey: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH I KNOW BUT YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT

Mira: Kick the baby!

Baby: Don't kick the goddamn baby!

Mira: Kick the baby (kicks Baby off a building)

Jinu: Honey, are you pregnant?

Rumi: No?

(Jinu pushes Rumi down the stairs)

Mira after failing to kill Abby for like the fifth time: OW, GOD DAMN! F*CK! F*CK! F*CK! F*CK! F*CKF*CKF*CKF*CKF*CK! F*CKY F*CKY F*CKY YOU!

(after Rumi decided to cut her braid off)

Zoey trying to explain her latest lyrics: Now look, right here on this page, it tells you all about (looks up) WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR!!

(Jinu enters the dressing room)

Mira: Who the f*ck are you?

Jinu: Who the f*ck are you?

Mira: I asked you first

Jinu: I asked you second

Bobby: Is he a bouncing baby boy?

Romance: I don't know, but we're high enough up to find out

(Baby socks Romance in the face)

Mira: I have a three step program for you. I punch you, you fall down, I win

(Saja Boys bickering)

Abby: And then I said "oatmeal? Are you crazy?"

Abby: Need I say more?

Mira: I would prefer you say nothing

Mira: Honey, you alright?

Rumi: I'll be fine

Zoey: Is this about Jinu?

Mira: No, Zoey, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of ramyeon