Work Text:
[JAEGER COCKPIT – REDLINE REVENANT]
First official mission after reassignment, the giant mech groans under assault, Kaiju claws scraping the metal plates, even a second delay could prove fatal. Max and Carlos’ neural link flickers with unsteady Drift sync. Both pilots tense, caught between a rock and a hard place.
MAX (snapping): You’re holding back. What – afraid to keep up?
CARLOS (cool but pointed): This isn’t Monaco, Max. Winning means knowing when not to go full throttle.
MAX (scoffing): We’re not on the podium now. One wrong move and we both go down.
CARLOS: Then let’s move as one. You push hard, I’ll keep us steady. Like we used to–
SYSTEM: Neural link synchronization level rising to 85%
MAX (grinning, fiery): Alright, mate. Let’s show this Kaiju what a world champion and his ex-teammate can do.
They move as one, Redline Revenant surges forward with cutting precision, ready to turn their rivalry into unstoppable alliance in the Drift.
MAX: Come on, big guy. Bet you can’t even hit me.
CARLOS (rolling his eyes): You’re lucky we’re not back on track. I’d put you in the wall before that thing blinked.
MAX (laughing): Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that while I’m punching your Kaiju into next week.
Redline Revenant’s fists glow with energy, unleashing a barrage of punches to the Kaiju’s side. The monster staggers but swings its massive tail, narrowly missing the Jaeger.
CARLOS (calmly): Don’t get cocky. One slip-up and we’re done.
MAX: Relax, I’m here to win.
They coordinate the next attack, Max goes wild with aggressive strikes, Carlos steadies their footing and timing.
CARLOS: Easy, Max. If you keep this up, you’ll only wear yourself out. Like tire degradation on lap 5.
MAX (smirking): Ha, sounds like you feel your age, old man. Just admit it, you love the chaos.
The Kaiju collapses at their feet in defeat. Their first official joint kill on a mission. Redline Revenant stands tall, the pilots catching their breath.
CARLOS (half-smiling): Not bad. Maybe you’re not just a brat after all.
MAX: Told you. It’s world champ brat, mate.
CARLOS: Yes, yes. But you listened today, that counts for something.
MAX (softening): I guess… I’m not used to letting someone else have the lead, you know.
CARLOS: And I’m not used to anyone pushing this hard. I say we make a decent combination, yes?
MAX (smirking, nudging Carlos’ shoulder): Not even Charles, huh? Don’t get soft on me now, Carlos.
CARLOS (laughing quietly): No promises. If this whole Kaiju thing falls through, maybe we should try a tag team in F1 again.
MAX: You’re on. Don’t expect me to go easy though.
-
[BREAKING NEWS – PPADC PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT]
CARLOS SAINZ TO REJOIN RED BULL JAEGER DIVISION
2 December 2024
In an announcement that has sent both the Jaeger community and the F1 fandom into collective cardiac arrest, the PPADC (Pan Pacific-Atlantic Defense Corps) has confirmed that Carlos Sainz Jr. will be rejoining the Red Bull family, now in their Jaeger Division — as co-pilot to Max Verstappen. Yes, that Max. Again.
Following several high-profile years piloting the Scuderia Ferrari Jaeger „Monza Tempesta”, Sainz is set to take the controls of the legendary cockpit of „Redline Revenant”, the navy blue twin-core monster infamous for its unforgiving and sensitive sensors, said to be built to suit solely the two time world champion. Curse to the unfortunate co-pilot since its launch.
Dr. Helmut Marko, Red Bull Drifting Combat Director: “It was either that, or let Max drift with a simulator. At least Carlos has a pulse.”
Christian Horner, Red Bull Drifting Commanding Officer: “We believe in their synergy. We don’t like it, but we believe in it.”
According to insider sources, the decision followed a classified Kaiju-level incident during a Red Bull solo operation, where Max allegedly refused to activate the final strike protocol unless quote: “Carlos says I’m right.” The standoff lasted 36 minutes and ended with a reluctant “Fine. You are.”
@versainzisdriftingagain
THEYRE BACK. MY DEPRESSION IS CURED. MY SKIN IS CLEAR. MY NEURAL CORE IS GLOWING #Versainz #ImInTears
@redflag_ing
Christian Horner deadass said ‘let’s put chaos in a cockpit and pray’ and honestly? I respect it #VersainzIsBackBitches
@cryinginmonza
Ferrari just watched their emotionally unavailable ex walk back to his toxic soulmate #FerrariFumbled #Again
@goat_kaijumachine
lmao not helmut kinkshaming max’s simulator addiction. that man has seen THINGS #MaxIsAlwaysInTheSim #RedBullThings
[PRESS CONFERENCE]
Carlos Sainz Jr., speaking through gritted teeth and a PR-curated smirk, sitting before a dozen or so cameras: “Sometimes the most dangerous thing you can do… is go back.” Pauses. Looks at Max. “And sometimes it’s the only thing that makes sense.”
Max Verstappen, seemingly calm and collected, with dangerously glinting eyes under his cap: “Welcome home.”
Their official reunion is set to begin next week with a re-initiation drift session, a PR shoot for the rumored merch coming soon, and a likely ill-advised mission.
The Kaiju don’t stand a chance. Neither do our emotions.
Stay tuned for further articles in this hot topic.
@totowolffstherapy
am I the only one who felt that tension slap me through the screen??? #WhatWasThat
@chili.comms
‘welcome home’ Max destroyed the whole fandom and PLANET with just two words. King #VersainzTillIDie
@BrundleSaidWHat
I want someone to look at me like Max looks at Carlos or I SWEAR #VersainzIsNOTPlatonic #Goals
@ssSebastiansFinger
THAT LOOK. THAT SENTENCE. SIRRR #TheyMadeOutAfterPress #TrustMeBro #Versainz
@ChecoChokemeee_331
make everything make sense like Carlos going back to RB, im on my KNEES begging #VersainzIsReal
-
[PRESS ROOM — DAY]
Reporters swarm the stage. Screens flash with footage of Redline Revenant’s epic Kaiju take down. Max and Carlos sit side-by-side, a mix of smirks and tired smiles.
REP 1: Max, how does it feel to find synergy with your former teammate after all the bad history?
MV: Don’t know about bad history, but the Jaeger felt good. It’s like winning a championship all over again. But with more punching.
REP 2: Carlos, the fans are already dubbing your team up as Versainz. Thoughts on that?
CS: Well, if that’s what they want to call it, I’m not complaining. We’re a team now. In and out of the Drift.
Max nudges him playfully.
MV: Yeah, unstoppable on four wheels or in a Jaeger.
-
@MaxVerstappen
Just took down a 75 m monster with @Carlossainz55. Solid result for the team. #KeepPushing
@Carlossainz55
Sill waiting for the apology for the Suzuka crash though. #OldRivalries
@MaxVerstappen
I don’t do apologies – only rematches. Ready? #BringItOn
@Carlossainz55
Rematch accepted. Try to not throw me into a wall this time. #SafetyFirst #Versainz
@versainzinmyslipstream
they made Versainz official? ON MAIN???? HELLOOO #Finally #Versainz #WeRideAtDawn
@f1tokaijus_
interviewers be lurking here and getting paid for being chronically online AND getting to ask THEM questions. me when? #Versainz #Sobbing
@DRSMeLikeOneOFyourGirls
I’m waiting for the tiktok challenges and funny videos with bated breath. RB ADMIN HEAR MY PRAYERS #VersainzForLife
-
[LEAKED JAEGER COCKPIT VOICE COMMS – REDLINE REVENANT]
MAX: If you miss this shot, I swear I’m never letting you forget Suzuka.
CARLOS (dry, amused): I could say the same. Try not to break Redline with your wild swings, yes?
MAX: Sue me. What if I like shaking things up?
CARLOS (chuckling softly): You bring the chaos, I bring the calm. That’s why we work, after all this time.
MAX: Like a buddy cop movie, but with giant robots.
CARLOS: And I’m the one who keeps you from turning us into scrap metal.
MAX: Hey! You love every second of it.
CARLOS (pause, then softer): Maybe I do. Don’t let it get to your head though.
MAX (grinning): Told you. Now, focus – Kaiju incoming.
CARLOS: Copy. Remember, don’t pull a Suzuka on me again.
MAX: No promises, Carlos. No promises.
@DNFforLeclerc
are we all agreed that Suzuka is actually code for Max throwing Carlos into somewhere way worse than a race track? #UnholySuzuka #VersainzSecrets
@kingDrift_1111
ngl if suzuka means getting tossed into the pit of eternal brat torment im signing up real fast #SuzukaShenanigans #Versainz
@mechmymemesviv
When Max says Suzuka we all know it’s not a crash – it’s a punishment chamber where bad teammates get sent. Poor Carlos… or maybe he likes it?? #UnholySuzuka #BratGoals
@SainzMyThighs55
Suzuka is less a racing memory and more a warning don’t mess with Max unless you want a trip to the fiery depths #SuzukaIsHell #VersainzLingo
@boxboxbutmakeitKINKYY
can’t tell if Suzuka is a place or a state of mind after surviving Max’s drifting style. I’m scared and intrigued #UnholySuzuka #Bromance #Versainz
@Spawascodedmessage
Buddy cop movie when? Someone write a fanfic STAT #SuzukaSecrets #NotSoPlatonic
@commsleakaltermybrain:
‘you bring the chaos I bring the calm’ STOP im sobbing. My fav team by a mile. Versainz is my new religion #Versainz #ItWasNeverPlatonic
-
[LEAKED FOOTAGE TRANSCRIPTION OF THE FIRST SYNC SESSION – REDLINE REVENANT]
File: DriftSession_Versainz01_UNAUTHORIZED.mkv
PPADC Internal Use Only
CARLOS: Stop it, Max.
MAX: I wasn’t even doing anything.
CARLOS: I can feel you tensing up.
MAX: Yeah, well you’re about to get in my head, it’s chill.
GP: Boys, please. You have to focus. We are seconds from starting a 1,900 ton death machine. Tone down the urge to flirt or have a fistfight.
SYSTEM: Neural handshake initializing. Countdown begins 10, 9, 8-
CARLOS: That’s not how you stabilize the plasma caster!
MAX: I made it work. You’re welcome.
CARLOS: You almost made it to explode, and us with it!
MAX: Keyword almost, we’re fine.
CARLOS: (unintelligible grumbling)
GP: Telemetry readings look up to standard. Let’s not explode anything in the next five minutes, sounds doable?
MAX: Right. Copy.
The Drift finally locks in, Redline Revenant roars to life so smooth it crashes the monitor feed for 2.2 seconds. Almost perfect pit stop quality.
MAX (slightly out of breath): So, whose idea was that we fight an actual Kaiju for our first session back together?
CARLOS: What, too much for the champion? I thought you wouldn’t settle for any less.
MAX: Ha, I’ll show you champion. Don’t fall too far behind, Carlos.
GP: Keep your head down, boys. Target’s ahead.
Synchronization spikes up to 81%. They somehow make it look greater than it is, as they engage in the fight.
MAX (taunting): See? Told you we still work.
CARLOS (rolling his eyes): Yes, now shut up and swing left.
MAX: You swing left.
CARLOS: We swing left, you absolute menace.
Mission accomplished, Kaiju flattened. Drift link still on overdrive, elevated heart rates, heat and sweat running down under their armored suits. Not perfection, but something worryingly close to it right from the re-start of their team up.
GP: Cooldown sequence starting. Good job.
MAX: Yeah, thanks.
GP (sighing): Put a limit on the arguments next time, yeah?
CARLOS: Copy.
GP: And Max, stop calling Carlos naughty in neural space. It echoes.
@TheyDriftedIRotated
Redline Revenant is just rebooted and it’s already dripping sexual tension and passive-agression. PR said reunion but that cockpit looked like a fanfic draft folder #VersainzIsBack #CarlosRun
@slicksin.rainn
‘SEE TOLD YOU WE STILL WORK’??? Like?? Max Verstappen is the most successful ex ever, you can’t change my mind. Goat behavior #Versainz #SomeoneCheckOnCharles #FerrariFumbledSainz
@SyncForever_ayyy
If they kiss mid-mission I win 100 bucks, if they crash I win double. Either way? I’m richhh #VersainzShenanigans #BoysKissing
@sm00th.0perat0r
Carlos 10000% tried to push him out of the sync at 1:55, and I respect that #Versainz #BratTamingIsOn
@GtoP_33333333
Dr. Lambiase deserves paid vacation, therapy and a new liver – in that exact order. I heard he threatened to sync with the Jaeger himself next time just to shut them up #ProtectGP
@lapDance_notlapTimes
Max calling Carlos naughty and GP calling him out on it is the most in character type shit I’m wheezing #MaxYouDog #VersainzIsBackBaby #GPforPresident
@tifosi4lifebutihaveeyes
but fr someone check on Charles. Ferrari’s social team blacked out the moment the news dropped #FerrariFumbledSainz #RIPCharlos
-
[LEAKED JAEGER COCKPIT VOICE COMMS – REDLINE REVENANT]
CARLOS (focused): Sync’s holding. You ready?
MAX (voice cracking): Y-yeah, let’s – let’s do this.
CARLOS (glancing sideways): Your heartbeat is too erratic, don’t tell me you overdosed on Red Bull. Again.
MAX: Shut up. I’ve been pre-fueling since 4am. I’m vibrating on three planes of existence right now.
CARLOS (deadpan): I have to feel it too, remember?
MAX: Hard to forget. That.
The towering Kaiju charges, Redline Revenant surges forward in return. Both pilot’s personal skills overwrite the less than 90% sync rate – reconciled in the Drift after years apart, the almost perfect offense and defense.
CARLOS (gritting teeth): This one’s different. Stronger. Smarter.
MAX (snorting): Sounds like you. Bet it still folds like Suzuka.
CARLOS (a beat of silence): ...That’s filthy and you know it.
MAX (wicked smirk): Simply lovely.
They drive the wing blades through the Kaiju’s core without mercy, in a move that should be physically impossible, therefore banned – but when has Max ever cared about rules, knowing Carlos is keeping Redline Revenant upright beside him?
Their Jaeger. Their win.
Inside, silence then heavy breathing.
CARLOS (smiling tiredly): We did it. Double podium.
MAX (voice cracking again): Y-yeah. Ughh – yeah. P1 and P2, mate.
CARLOS: You alright?
MAX: Ugh, Kaiju’s dead, caffeine’s gone, I’m barely alive.
CARLOS: But we got here, and we did it. As a team.
MAX (softening): Wouldn’t wanna Drift with anyone else after this.
A long pause, mutual understanding. No more words needed in this moment.
@maxbeggedinS3ctor3
HIS VOICE CRACKED AGAIN SOMEONE HUG HIM #VersainzInTheirFluffEra
@ChiliestOfEmAll
Sainz out there carrying Redline and Max’s soul #KingCarlos
@r3dbull.shakes
everyone wake up simply lovely dropped, it’s OFFICIAL NOW #VersainzFullThrottle #SimplyLovely
@YukiSawEverything
remember the time we thought the second redbull seat is cursed and it took Carlos coming back to fix everything?? this gonna be the one and only time imma tip my hat to helmut and horner #Versainz #RedemptionArc
@KaijuByeee
CRYING THROWING UP NEVER DIVORCE MY SONS #Versainz #Feels
@ChillaNati0n
thats it thats my wedding vow from now on. no more i dos, its ‘dont wanna drift with anyone else’ #VersainzForever #NewTattooInspo
@carlosinskinnyjeans4
Suzuka is officially unspeakable and I’m never drinking water again #UnholySuzuka #Versainz #NotSponsoredByRedBull #Yet
@brAtChamp9
new phrase unlocked, folding kaiju like carlos #MaxYouDog #SuzukaStrikesAgain
-
[RED BULL DRIFTING COMMAND HOSPITALITY – NIGHT]
The city below still glows with firelight and electricity flickers in the streetlights after the battle. On the rooftop of the Red Bull hospitality, Max and Carlos sit shoulder to shoulder, helmets off, drifting suits halfway undone, legs dangling over the edge like two kids who accidentally saved the world. Again. Who counts how many times at this point.
“Do you ever think about how weird this is?” Max leans back and forth, jittery from his sixth energy drink and post-mission adrenaline. “We used to fight for grid positions, now it’s about literal survival.”
Carlos hums, eyes trained on the dark horizon, fully knowing another Kaiju’s appearance is not a matter of if, but when. “It still feels like a race, only with bigger stakes and fewer tire strategies.”
“Less botched ones, you mean. That’s Ferrari for you.” Max snorts, not unkindly, then falls silent for a while. Carlos doesn’t feel the need to comment on the obvious or defend his former team against valid accusations.
The sirens continue to blare in the distance, damage control is always a strenuous effort, both disheartening and inspiring to bear for moving forward.
“Have you ever thought about what would’ve happened, if we stayed teammates?” Blue eyes search for something in Carlos’ expression, dark now in this altitude, far from the lights below.
“Yes.” The only answer the Spaniard allows himself. It’s clearly not enough.
“I probably would’ve thrown you off a podium, if you managed to follow me there back then,” Max states bluntly. Raw honesty was always one of his many strengths. “Or crashed you or both of us out. Depends on the mood.”
Carlos smirks, almost flattered by the fact he inspired this level of competitiveness in the Dutch prodigy. “Yes, but you also might’ve learned to brake into turn one.”
They share a lingering silence, basking in each other’s presence. Every pilot who Drifted once would tell the same: you never leave that shared headspace completely. It haunts and comforts you in equal measure, when it’s done right. Being next to or far away from your co-pilot picks your brain apart with a nagging feeling to do something about it.
“You grounded me. Still do.” Max admits it quietly, their shoulders grazing again. “Back then… I didn’t know how to say thanks.”
“You didn’t have to.” Carlos affirms him, it’s an old wound closed up long ago. “You kept letting me in. Even when we had our differences.”
“I still do. Now more than I ever thought it possible.”
Carlos turns to him, the confession hangs heavily between them. There’s something fragile in Max’s eyes. Not the chaos, the usual bravado, the world champion and most talented Jaeger pilot. It’s just Max. The boy who rose too fast, too young, and still chose to Drift with – to bare himself completely before – the man who never chased his shadow.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Not again. It’s an oath at this point, pledging himself not to the cause, but to the man who left him behind first.
The irony isn’t lost on them, Max cracks a grin in answer.
“Good. I need someone to rein me in, when I inevitably try to Drift in skinny jeans.”
Carlos groans and rests his head on Max’s shoulder – a brief weakness, the other pilot leaning towards him in kind. “Simply lovely.”
-
@MaxCravesTheSmooth
let’s be real. suzuka is their safeword. nobody in that cockpit was talking about a race #YouCantChangeMyMind #Versainz #UnholySuzuka
@SainzDefenseCorps9
Max calls Carlos calm but lets talk about the way Carlos gripped the throttle control when Max’s voice cracked. That was not professional. That was “my entire soul just short-circuited” behavior #Versainz #JustGetMarriedAlready
@simplylovely.nationnn
Max said ‘simply lovely’ THRICE. The third time was post-fight when Carlos wasn’t even connected to him anymore. That’s imprinting. Pavlovian response if you will. #Versainz #MaxYouDogTookOnADifferentMeaning
@5secPenaltyforOcon
another day, another slay. keeping versainz nation well fed. my goats. is it bad if i wish kaijus never stop coming?? #Conflicted #VersainzMakesMeInsane
@TheHistorianNoOneBelieves
After extensive study, I maintain that the Versainz relationship is purely platonic, based on teamwork and camarad-
@Everyone
Blocked.
-
[UNAUTHORIZED VERSAINZ BIOGRAPHY – BLOG POST]
Welcome to the deliciously biased, completely unauthorized and utterly unhinged Versainz biography introduction – penned by a sleep-deprived fan who may or may not have snuck into Red Bull Drifting Command with a press badge made out of glitter paper and duct tape.
It started with a hug.
Not the Kaiju-slaying, or even the neural scyncing, fate altering hug you’d expect in a heroic tale, no. This hug happened after a F1 race – sweat-soaked, hearts exposed, years of rivalry and unsaid grudges melting into one too-long, too-tight embrace between two men who weren’t supposed to like each other this much, or at all.
The championship win paled in comparison, that was just the premise of that earth shattering hug. That launched a thousand Tumblr GIFs, derailed at least four televised interviews and rewired everyone’s brain chemistry, sent shipping community to space and made breaking into Drifting Command posing as a press intern acceptable.
Because Versainz?
It isn’t just drift compatibility. It’s cosmic, chaotically romantic synchronization. High-octane trust wrapped in Red Bull merch, tactical sarcasm and skinny jeans from 2016 that just won’t perish.
Here’s What They Won’t Tell You in Official Reports:
- That Max Verstappen drinks six (6!) Red Bulls before every battle and once yelled “SEND IT” during neural sync initiation, causing four techs to faint.
- That Carlos Sainz allegedly kept a log of “things Max does that are illegal in both motorsport and piloting” and updated it daily like a grumpy husband with a Pinterest board.
- That their Jaeger, renowned word class beauty Redline Revenant, only achieved perfect Drift after Carlos whispered “You’re not alone anymore, Max” during a panic spiral Max officially referred to as a “mild tactical adrenaline spike” after.
- That “Suzuka” became fandom slang for something so deeply, viscerally unplatonic that even the Jaeger pilots wouldn’t elaborate further on.
Readers may want to know more about war, the Kaiju, or Drift science and geopolitical defense alliances. But we won’t go there.
This is solely about two men who loved and fought like rivals turned to teammates again, and literally saved the world by syncing their minds, bodies and something far messier too.
Simply lovely, indeed.
Max Verstappen entered the Jaeger program the way most men enter clubs to sin in: fast, cocky and in tight pants no one asked for. With two WDCs under his belt, it was only natural selection, coming on top here too. Three warnings next to his name from prior neural sync attempts: hyper-aggressive, emotionally feral, actually feral-feral. The confidence of someone who may have things to apologize for, but wasn’t about to start now.
And who did they assign to balance this twitchy, chaos-gremlin energy after Perez’s chances to retain his seat went up in smoke?
Carlos Sainz. The man. The myth. The possible teenage crush that ended in a messy heartbreak.
The Drift techs labeled him as “the anchor.” The press dubbed him “smooth and calculated.” The Versainz fandom called him “daddy.” Max just called him mine – once the synchronization got good enough to justify it.
The Power Dynamic That Launched a Thousand TikTok Edits:
Let’s be real: Max is the throttle. The instinct. The bratty heat. All gas no brakes.
Carlos? He is the brake. The control. The one who murmurs, “Focus, Max,” when things get intense, which always does the opposite.
They complete each other – in that deeply inappropriate, hot-under-the-collar, we-shouldn’t-but-we-will kind of way. In the Drift, every thought bleeds into the other in a never ending feedback loop.
Which raises the question:
How many “Focus, Max” does it take before Drift-compatible turns into we hear things we can’t unhear ever?
Unofficial answer: Three.
Official answer: They’re still not talking about it.
-
@CarlosDOMMEDme
Max is a brat. Carlos has the control kink. This isn’t about the Kaiju. This is foreplay with city-level consequences. #VersainzOnAnotherLevel #SuzukaIsTameComparedToThis
@daydreamingaboutchili
Versainz for free? In this economy?? I feel like I should pay for witnessing this much sin #VersainzIsMyReligion
@OperationPitWall
Max called it training, Carlos called it trust, fandom called it the start of the unholy Versainz religion. Suzuka is our sinning ground. Prayers on race weekends, amen #Versainz #IjustfoundGod #HeLookedLikeVersainz
-
[RED BULL DRIFTING SHATTERDOME – DAWN]
Every Jaeger pilot knows that syncing above 95% is extremely rare. Dangerous, intimate. Syncing at 98%? That’s not teamwork, that’s brain-to-brain raw connection. Mental eye contact with your emotional pants off. No holds barred.
Max and Carlos achieved it by accident, or so they claimed.
Long after it happened, separately.
It’s gotten outrageously late, the Kaiju threat escalating to the point Max couldn’t get any sleep in 36 hours and still counting. Meetings after meetings, never ending talks about strategy, hooked to the simulators, deployment plans, fleshing out the details of teaming up with other mechs in the Jaeger Division Corps, all that jazz.
Carlos leaves one such meeting with a fortified determination after Max called him “emotionally repressed.” The situation necessitates a Drift session – to hone their skills further and to prove his co-pilot wrong.
The techs beg to differ, advise them to postpone it until they’re both well rested.
They do not. Instead, they slide into the cockpit of Redline Revenant like it’s foreplay for the inevitable apocalypse. Backs stiff, tempers running hotter than a V6 engine on fire.
And when the Drift kicks in, it hits. Hard.
[LEAKED VOICE COMMS TRANSCRIPT – REDLINE REVENANT V5 SYNC TEST]
SYSTEM: Sync initializing. Heart rate spike detected. Cockpit tension: concerning.
GP (already tired of them): Redline Revenant, confirm ready.
CARLOS: Copy. Ready as we’ll ever be.
MAX (snorting): Right.
SYSTEM: Neural link stabilizing… 90% → 93% → 96% → 98%
The telemetry readouts explode, brainwaves align so close to perfection it leaves even the crew on base breathless. They aren’t just syncing and letting the other see glimpses in passing, not at this level. They share everything the most vividly. Thoughts, memories, instincts and worst of all, feelings.
The connection spikes to uncharted levels and they both gasp – loud, guttural, echoing in the comms, voices melding into one.
GP: Drift sync confirmed. You’re both idiots. Proceed.
CARLOS (panting): Did you just override my control input?
MAX: You hesitated.
CARLOS: I was calculating, cabrón.
MAX (breathless): Yeah? Then calculate how deep we’re in this together.
GP: Redline Revenant, initiate movement. And maybe don’t flirt while doing so.
CARLOS (through gritted teeth): Copy.
MAX (snorts, taunting)
CARLOS: Don’t start, Max.
MAX: Don’t start what?
CARLOS: I’m in your head, remember? I’m aware of your every stray thoughts.
MAX: Then you should know, I always start it. You just never have the guts to finish it.
CARLOS (voice sharp, cracking): Focus, Max. On the session.
MAX: You say that every damn time, fully knowing it’s just rattles me more. Your voice.
CARLOS (falls silent)
MAX: Oh. You like that.
CARLOS (tensing up): I don’t.
MAX: Liar. Your heart rate just jumped.
CARLOS: Shut up and throw the damn wing blade.
MAX (grinning): With pleasure.
SYSTEM: Impact registered. Critical Kaiju damage.
That’s the moment their Drift sync hits a staggering 99.1% for 2.6 seconds. Decent time frame in F1 pit stops, almost unheard of among Jaeger pilots. Emotional feedback loop binds them together, Carlos sees everything through Max’s eyes, feels the strain of their connection, breathes in and out, nearly starts to chase every tantalizing stray thoughts related to him. Goosebumps rising on their skin, hearts beating in tandem, for each other.
CARLOS (hoarse): This is a mistake.
MAX (low, gasping for breath): The best kind.
GP (flatly): Congrats, you two have successfully turned a military-grade neural link into a pre-mating staring contest. Get the Kaiju out of the city before you start making out.
CARLOS AND MAX (in eerie, too-perfect sync): Copy.
SYSTEM: Final strike launched. Kaiju down. Heartbeat logs: erratic. Cortisol levels: high. Drift temperature: 4.5 degrees above safe limit.
Dr. Granpiero Lambiase has remotely cut off communication channels.
Neural handshake cooldown initializing. Standby for air transport.
-
[POST-SESSION FOOTNOTE – ENGINEERING AUDIO LOG, DR. LAMBIASE]
“If those two don’t kiss soon, I fear for the neural core’s integrity. And mine. Christ, we’re all doomed.”
-
@Suzuka69
THEY. SYNCED. AT. 98%. THE COCKPIT BECAME A METAPHORICAL BEDROOM AND I’M UNWELL. #VersainzDidIt #DefinitelyNotPlatonic
@CarlosInTheGarageAgain
I have charts. I have footage. I have a priest on call. That wasn’t combat that was psychic intimacy with hydraulic thrust #VersainzIsNotForTheWeak
@maxsalphaproblems
when drifting makes you moan you know its GOOD. forgive me Carlos for ever doubting your skills. i know better now #VersainzInTheDrift #KingCarlos
@CarlosSoftSpot
MAX’S VOICE KINK IS CANON Y’ALL #Versainz #ThatSpanishAccent
@NoGripJustCh3mistry
YOOO ‘best kind of mistake’??? I SCREAMED I want to be called that too PLSSSS #Versainz #JustKissAlready
@yachtsc.enesconfirmed
who cares about world peace or safety when we can hear them psychically making out with each other on live?? #VersainzMadeMeReachNirvana
@StimulateMekindly
I think even the Kaiju blushed bruhhhhh #JustVersainzThings #UnholySuzuka
-
[REDLINE REVENANT COOLDOWN BAY MECHANICAL WING – POST SESSION]
The session is over, the Kaiju’s carcass is cooling, forgotten by the pilots who caused its demise. Redline Revenant’s core is undergoing stabilization, which can’t be said about Carlos. He’s stalking off the platform, sweat-soaked, furious. Glowing with adrenaline and a very specific brand of denial.
He rips his helmet off and throws it onto the workbench like it insulted his entire lineage. His fireproof undersuit is half unzipped, exposing his chest shimmering with sweat and combat glow. He’s breathing hard, muscles tight, jaw clenching even tighter.
That’s how Max finds him, following his abrupt exit closely. He’s slightly out of breath as well, stalking in like the human embodiment of trouble.
“You’re avoiding me,” he accuses without missing a beat.
“I’m cooling down.” Carlos refuses to show how affected he is by what happened between them, and how aware he really is of Max stepping directly behind him, chest almost brushing his back.
“We hit 99% sync and you’re acting like we crashed into the barriers.”
“We might as well.” He finally turns around, voice sharp, gaze even more cutting. “It was an emotional explosion and I am not – not – doing this with you again.”
“What exactly is it you think you’re not doing?” Max lowers his voice, intimate and lethal in equal measure. He steps closer, they’re practically chest to chest now, the little height advantage he has on the older pilot makes it seem like he’s looming over him. “Because I felt how much you enjoyed it too. Every single second of it.”
Carlos is more intimidated by Max’s sheer presence than the damning truth in his words, but he holds his ground firmly. “I felt you overriding the controls. Your hands grasping on my thoughts like you had the right to do that.”
Max’s mouth curls in a dangerous smile. “Did I not?”
“Max.” That name is a warning, a plea. A sigh disguised as fury. “This is not the time.”
“No, it’s exactly the time. Because if we go back out there and we Drift like that again, without talking about what this is–” He leans in, breath grazing Carlos’ cheek like a promise of violence or something far worse – affection. “–you’re going to lose control. And I will follow you down with a smile.”
Carlos is frozen, breathing unsteadily.
There’s a long pause, thick with said and unsaid things and too loud heartbeats.
“We don’t work.” Carlos sighs softly, sounding almost broken by the admission. By the lie in it. “It’s a loop, Max. A broken one.”
“We synced at a steady 98% on fumes and spite. That’s not broken.” Of course the younger pilot is calling him out on it immediately. “That’s fate begging us to ruin each other properly.”
A beat, another step towards said ruination. Max is leaning down, they’re nose to nose now, blue eyes darkening with desire. Carlos feels like he’s close to punch or kiss the younger pilot, on the precipice of doing both.
Then the system alert sounds – cooldown complete. The bay floods with harsh light.
“I’m going to shower.” Carlos is the first to step aside, voice raspy.
Max is back to his casually smug and cheeky self in an instant, looking unapologetic about the tension he caused. “Need help unzipping?”
“You help me undress and I swear I’ll throw you into the coolant tank myself.”
“Worth it,” the Dutchman whistles, already following Carlos to the showers.
-
Steam hisses and curls like smoke, the locker room smells like metal, war and something unspoken, probably questionable life choices. Carlos stands under the shower, head bowed, letting the heat burn the thoughts away. Fists braced against the tile like he’s praying to a god he no longer believes in.
He can feel Max, again. Still. Like a phantom presence in his skull. Like he belongs there. The Drift didn’t end when it was supposed to and the after effects are crashing down.
Two stalls down, Max is staring at the wall like it owes him answers. He’s not even showering, just stands there, soaked, thinking about how Carlos still breathes like they’re synced. Because they are.
That wasn’t a glitch. That was a refusal – to let go.
“I can still feel you,” Carlos speaks over the sounds of water, low, gritty. It’s a confession, and a complaint as well.
“Yeah,” Max answers quietly, not cocky for once. A beat. He can’t handle the distance between them anymore, so he closes it. “I didn’t want to let go.”
Carlos turns, Max is already there, watching him too closely and desperately. That’s the moment the Drift pulses – rebellious, intrusive, intimate. Thoughts bleed together again, heat rising. No Kaiju, no spectators, no mission. Just two men who’ve shared a mental link too many times to pretend they aren’t sharing something else too.
“You always do this,” Carlos accuses hoarsely.
Max doesn’t allow him to leave things unsaid, even when they don’t necessarily have to speak with Drift link this strong. “Do what?”
“Look at me like you want to win me, not the fight.”
“Maybe I do.”
There’s no warning for the last line snapping between them, Carlos surges first and Max meets him halfway like he’s been waiting since 2018.
Mouths crash, teeth sharp, hands find skin and explore it uninhibited in crazed passion.
The kiss is a fight. It’s possession. It’s 98% sync and the 2% they refused to act on until now.
“This is a mistake,” Carlos breaks the contact, head swimming by the lack of oxygen.
Max smiles at him dazedly, likely drugged on endorphins and bad decisions. “Again: the best kind.”
They slam into the locker wall. Carlos lifts Max with adrenaline fueled fury, who draws him in like the daring creature he is. It’s desperate, dirty. Terrible idea. And utterly inevitable.
They pull apart again, just barely. Chests heaving, eyes wild.
“We’re going to destroy each other,” Carlos laughs, feeling plenty ruined already.
“Then let’s make it worth it.”
-
Carlos (1:50AM)
are you alright?
Max (1:52AM)
yeah
can still feel your voice in my spinal cord
and other things too
why?
Carlos (1:55AM)
i just wanted to make sure
our schedules will be hectic
you need rest
Max (1:57AM)
yeah can’t wait for the next drift
i want you in me like that
again
Carlos (2:07AM)
get some sleep now
good night, Max
Max (2:09AM)
would be easier if you were here
-
The morning after, Carlos is sitting in the mess hall, pretending his hands around his coffee mug aren’t shaking. Max enters like he didn’t spend last night pressed against a locker moaning into Carlos’ collarbone. They make eye contact, and immediately look away like teenagers caught passing notes in class.
The Drift lingers, still, feeling like the connection between them is irreversible. Permanent.
There’s no way back from this.
-
[RED BULL DRIFTING SHATTERDOME COMMANDING OFFICE CCTV AUDIO TRANSCRIPT – MIDDAY]
CHRISTIAN (expectant): Well?
CARLOS (deadpan): Nothing happened.
MAX (at the same time): Define ‘nothing.’
GP (behind them, voice like he aged 5 years overnight): Boys. I reviewed cockpit data. You stayed mentally connected after sync shutdown. That’s not ‘nothing’. That’s neural emotional residue. Basically a marriage license in Jaeger terms.
CARLOS: I’ll resign.
MAX: Fuck no, you won’t. I’ll fight God, if I must.
GP: You’re fighting me next, Verstappen. Now sit down and sign this non-fraternization amendment before you cause another citywide blackout.
-
[LEAKED JAEGER COCKPIT VOICE COMMS – REDLINE REVENANT]
GP: Redline Revenant, link stabilizing… now. Maintain emotional control, please.
CARLOS: Copy.
SYSTEM: Category III Kaiju registered. Neural link stabilizing… 96% and rising.
Carlos and Max are syncing normally until an image flashes across the neural feed. Sweaty skin. Wet tile. Teeth against jaw, a breathless moan. “You’re going to kill me like this.”
Another flash–Max whispering “Good.”
Steam. More skin. Hands gripping lockers and each other. Mutual insanity.
Pause. Dead silence across the entire Jaeger comms line.
GP (fully done with them): Did you two seriously leave your sex memories in the neural buffer?
MAX: ...Maybe?
CARLOS: Definitely not on purpose.
GP: I am this close to begging you to stop making me part of your foreplay.
SYSTEM: Kaiju incoming. Drift temperature spiking.
CARLOS (gritted teeth): We’ll deal with this later.
MAX: Oh, we’re definitely not done.
CARLOS: With the Kaiju, Max.
MAX: Sure. That too.
-
@SyncSecretly
WDYM SEX MEMORIES WDYM THEY DID IT??? I NEED RECEIPTS #Versainz #ImInYourWalls
@PDCDshipyard
witnessing gp saying no to a threeway was not on my bingo card this year yall #VersainzDriftLeak #ProtectGP
@neuralThirst89
when I started to ship them I didn’t know it’s gonna be real. I need holy water and a lawyer #VersainzForever #ImSoProudOfMySons
@HelmetCamAfterDark
Jaeger drift logs now come with nsfw tag and im living for it #VersainzDriftLeak #DriftAsForeplay
@JaegerTrashRaccoon
When Lambiase said “drift responsibly” they heard “drift erotically” #Versainz #HRIsCrying #GPIsDone
@ccockpitfanon
don’t act like we didn’t suspect this going on behind closed drift. now it’s just canon. no one’s safe. my granny ships them too #VersainzBlessing
@ForbiddenSyncs
VERSAINZ IS REAL. IM SWEATING. IM SCARED. I WANT MORE #Versainz #ImInTears
@TheyDriftedIDi3d
carlos saying ‘you’re going to kill me’ and max replying ‘good’ was the most erotic threat I’ve heard in a decade #VersainzLikeNoOther
-
[PPADC GLOBAL BROADCAST – RED BULL DRIFTING PRESS CONFERENCE]
Addressed topic: Unauthorized neural Drift leak from Jaeger Redline Revenant
Location: PPADC Geneva HQ, Briefing Room B
Speaker: Christian Horner, PPADC Red Bull Drifting Division Commanding Officer
[CAMERA FEED: LIVE – VIEWERS ONLINE: 2.3 MILLION AND RISING]
Horner walks in looking like he hasn’t slept since the division signed Carlos Sainz. He adjusts the mic, the silence is deafening. Reporters are close to vibrating out of their chairs.
CH (visibly sweating through his Red Bull combat-grade shirt): Good morning. I would like to begin by stating that the Red Bull Drifting maintains the highest standards of professionalism, discipline and internal privacy protocols–
Someone coughs “moaning” in the back. Horner visibly flinches.
CH: –and we are taking this situation very seriously.
[PRESS Q&A BEGINS]
REP 1: Is it true Max Verstappen referred to Carlos Sainz as ‘naughty’ during active neural combat on multiple occasions?
CH: No comment on irrelevant nicknames. Next.
REP 2: Were the intimate visuals in the drift leak accidental, or is the PPADC now sanctioning locker room activity as part of the cooldown process?
CH (visibly dying inside): There is no clause permitting fraternization inside military property. We’re investigating all… logistics.
He does not elaborate on “logistics.”
REP 3: Has HR been able to address the issue with Carlos or Max since the leak?
CH: We have received a shared memo that reads – and I quote – ‘We were emotionally compromised and covered in sweat. Let us live.’ We are choosing not to respond.
REP 4: Sources claim Jaeger sync efficiency increased post-intercourse. Will this be standard training protocol going forward?
CH (scandalized): This is a neural combat program, not a dating simulator.
REP 5: Fans online are referring to them as ‘the neural equivalent of soulmates.’ Thoughts?
CH (whispering mostly to himself): They were locked in a professional disagreement for three hours prior to that drift. They weren’t supposed to– From now on, all drift logs will be triple encrypted and reviewed for… compromising data.
REP 6: Would you like to say anything directly to the fandom?
CH (done and ready for his own funeral): Please stop tagging me in fan edits.
@redbullafterdark99
he’s begging us to stop so we will do the opposite, obviously #TraumatizeHornerForBreakfast
@CarlosNeckTruthers
he stuttered when someone said naughty carlos. we won. #NaughtyVersainz #TraumatizedHorner
@NoGripOnlyVersainz
Just wait for it. Versainz wedding gonna be fully paid by Red Bull and Horner will CRY #Versainz #ReadyForTheWedding
@LetThemDriftRaw
imagine being hr trying to regulate two men literally brain-fucking during kaiju slaying #VersainzIsGoals #TheyMadeHRCry
@Gpprotectionsquad
GP DID NOT SURVIVE TWELVE MISSIONS FOR THIS HORMONAL DISASTER #Versainz #ProtectGP
@CarlosTappedThatThrottle
no one:
Horner: this is a neural combat program not a dating sim
me: downloads dating sim mod anyway
@JaegerBombedOnMain
stop asking why max moaned start asking why i saved the audio to my faves #Versainz #UnholySuzukaNeverLeft
@GiveSedativesToHorner
you either die a hero or live long enough to hear your pilots’ sex flashback in neural stereo #VersainzIsKillingHorner #AndMe
@PapiKnowsBest
strollonso shippers chilling, charlos buried 18 feet deep, while versainz burns the base down. we suffered FIRST #NeuralTrauma #Versainz
@HRLeftThe_Chat
BREAKING: HR office is up in flames, Lambiase is on stress leave, and Horner has entered the psych ward #VersainzRules #CrackShip
@alb0n0000
somewhere albon is watching this unfold like a silent witness to a beautiful trainwreck. with his emotional support kitties. and sargeant #Versainz #BeautifulDayToBeAMultishipper
-
[VOICE MEMO FROM C. HORNER TO G. LAMBIASE – ENCRYPTED]
[00:00:01]
Sound of bottle opening. Long sip. Exhale like the weight of PR hell just punched him in the solar plexus.
CH (tired, British, crumbling under pressure): Granpiero. Friend. Fellow sufferer. I’m sitting in my office after the disaster called press conference. The Red Bull fridge is empty. I’ve turned off my phone and burned my calendar.
[sip again]
CH: They asked me… if we’re launching a Red Bull drift-optimized lube. I didn’t even flinch. That’s where I’m at.
[long pause, possibly debating about drowning himself in the wine bottle]
CH: Max and Carlos… They’re not just synced. They’re linked in sin. I don’t have jurisdiction over that. That’s Vatican territory.
[muttering now, pacing back and forth]
CH: I knew we should’ve paired Max with Liam instead. At least that wouldn’t leak private sex memories into the PPADC servers.
[final sip, bottle clinks]
CH: If you need me, I’ll be out of the country. Bring wine, gasoline and divine intervention. Also, don’t tell Helmut he was right.
[VOICE MEMO ENDS – 00:03:33]
-
[PPADC PILOT GROUP CHAT: JAEGER RIDERS]
LANDO:
i just wanna thank carlos and max for redefining team bonding
OSCAR:
that was less neural sync more televised foreplay
GEORGE:
As a professional I’d just like to say-
Never mind.
(screenshot saved)
CHARLES:
i am not doing press today.
don’t even try.
LANCE:
Imagine cheating your kaiju kill count with your ex-boyfriend
So toxic
I’m impressed
PIERRE:
you both need a confessional and a rabies shot
you’re feral
YUKI:
next time I drift, I’m bringing a sanitizer
my brain still smells like locker room
LOGAN:
guys I think horner just passed out on live again
CARLOS:
everyone shut up
or i start leaking your locker room footage
LIAM:
you guys don’t understand
I WALKED INTO THE COOLDOWN BAY
FIVE MINUTES AFTER
LANDO:
lmao what did u see
OSCAR:
is that why you filed for trauma leave last week?
LIAM:
YES.
AND I WAS DENIED.
MAX:
not my fault Carlos cracks under pressure
CARLOS:
not my fault Max has a praise kink and a volume problem
LANCE:
Not your fault you both invented neural edging live on air?
GEORGE:
I’m filing a formal request for neural HR re-education.
And earplugs.
LANDO:
petition to rename redline revenant to missionary tango
@Max @Carlos thoughts
GEORGE:
As amusing that would be, absolutely NOT.
Please. My parents watch these briefings.
CARLOS:
I will eject myself mid-mission next time
don’t tempt me
MAX:
it’s not just missionary
LOGAN:
you guys should be banned from neural combat
and public spaces
and each other
LANDO:
if u eject pls moan again
for continuity
ALEX:
I want them to sync to 100% just to see what happens
does the Jaeger start glowing? do they explode?
LANCE:
I want the next leak include a safe word
LANDO:
i thought that was suzuka
CHARLES:
please god
no more leaks
i see them when i close my eyes
PIERRE:
we should honestly throw you two a wedding
or into a nuclear reactor
depends how the next drift goes
OSCAR:
so same time tomorrow?
CARLOS:
you won’t be invited
ALEX:
so there will be a wedding?
LANDO:
dibs on being the best man
LIAM:
if they sync during the next drift and moan again
i’m defecting
i’ll take the dishonorable discharge
LANDO:
redline revenant was never a jaeger
its an adult film with kaiju cameos
ALEX:
this chat is going straight to drift hell
see you there
OSCAR:
nothing straight about it
MAX:
Redline works better if tension is involved
LANDO:
u mean sexual
LANCE:
So that’s why that Jaeger is the fastest on the grid
ALEX:
redbull gives you wings and orgasms
GEORGE:
Sounds plausible, actually.
PIERRE:
good night everyone
that cockpit is metaphorical
and literal
and so very wet
ESTEBAN:
I cannot believe I am part of this generation of pilots
you’re all impossible
and I am not even surprised
CARLOS:
you’re not alone
I’ll mute this chat
(chat notifications muted for the next 24 hours)
NICO:
I used to drift with a dude who only grunted
now you lot are syncing mid-fuck
I want a refund
LANDO:
wasnt that kevin tho
and u still drift with him no
NICO:
unfortunately
FERNANDO:
you two did more damage to that locker room than my entire championship run in 2007
i am so proud
and disturbed
MAX:
thank you
ZHOU:
I just wanted a quiet morning
but thanks for the neck visuals, carlos
LANDO:
carlos’ neck deserves its own jaeger
max would pilot it solo
OSCAR:
already did
KEVIN:
WHY
THE
FUCK
DID I HEAR MOANING THROUGH THE WALLS
LEWIS:
calm down, kevin
they’re young
let them implode in peace
NICO:
the only action you’ll have nowadays, Kev
enjoy it while it lasts
LANDO:
lmaooo burnn
-
[PPADC REGULATED MANDATORY THERAPY SESSION TRANSCRIPT – PATIENT C. SAINZ]
THERAPIST: Let’s start with how the continuous Drift integration is with your current partner.
CARLOS: It’s fine.
THERAPIST: Just “fine?”
CARLOS: Yes. Professionally , it’s efficient. Coordinated. There’s a lot of ... cohesion.
THERAPIST: And emotionally?
CARLOS: ...Fine.
THERAPIST: Carlos. Last session, you described your co-pilot as “unpredictable, impulsive, overly caffeinated and annoyingly attractive.”
CARLOS: That was taken out of context.
THERAPIST: It’s a direct quote.
CARLOS: Look, he’s like this… this little lion, yes? Claws out, always pacing, needs constant stimulation and attention or he shuts down. Or worse, causes even more chaos.
THERAPIST (stops writing and just looks at him attentively)
CARLOS: When we sync now I can feel his thoughts curl around mine in the literal sense, bleeding into me without restraint. It’s- it’s a problem.
THERAPIST: Is that the reason why you requested a sync delay after the last session?
CARLOS: That was for purely tactical reasons, Redline Revenant was scheduled for maintenance anyway.
THERAPIST: Initiating Drift link synchronization is possible without the Jaeger.
CARLOS: Yes. It would be worse, that way.
THERAPIST: How so?
CARLOS: The lack of a combat situation and the Jaeger acting as a buffer between us would make things personal. Our partnership is strictly professional. No need to complicate things just for a simulation.
THERAPIST: Is it harder to draw the line now that you’ve achieved the outstanding 98% sync rate?
CARLOS: Yes, but that just means we’re both proficient and… compatible. Professionally, of course.
THERAPIST: Of course. And how would you rate your compatibility with Max on a personal level?
CARLOS: ...We’re fine. I mean, as I’ve said there’s nothing personal. Or indecent. The 98% is strictly technical.
THERAPIST: Would you label having personal relations with a fellow pilot as indecent?
CARLOS: No, within reason.
THERAPIST: And with your current co-pilot, specifically?
CARLOS: ...Yes. I mean, they added a fraternization clause to our contracts, so it’s basically against the rules. With Max.
THERAPIST: Building a personal connection with your co-pilot not necessarily equates illicit fraternization. Synchronization is proven to be more effective that way.
CARLOS: Yes, and dangerous, too.
THERAPIST: Are you referring to the leak?
CARLOS (visibly tensing up): ...Mainly, yes. Among other things. I mean, we were in a highly risky situation, the Drift sync spiked to a level neither of us experienced before, it was hard to separate. After.
THERAPIST: And how do you expect your next sync session to go in that regard?
CARLOS: I’d say the rate will be lower, or similar. Hopefully the… after effects won’t be as severe, now that we have some experience.
THERAPIST: So no reason to concern yourself with the added clause.
CARLOS: Right, yes. Even if we did Drift emotionally, and… a little physically, it was post-mission, running on adrenaline and neural link overdrive. Nothing personal, technically still part of cooldown. It was strategical.
THERAPIST: Strategic intercourse?
CARLOS: ...Which won’t happen again. Our partnership remains professional, as it should be. We’re working on it.
[END SESSION – THERAPIST NOTES]
Patient is in a deeply conflicted state, shows clear signs of extreme self denial, hyper-emotional entanglement and strongly repressed neural affection and attraction.
Recommending additional sessions, supervised drift re-training and a mediated joint session with co-pilot M. Verstappen.
-
[PPADC REGULATED MANDATORY THERAPY SESSION TRANSCRIPT – PATIENT M. VERSTAPPEN]
MAX: I heard Carlos was in here earlier. Did he talk about me?
THERAPIST: Would you like to start with how you’re feeling?
MAX: Sure, I’m great. Fantastic, really. We Drifted at 98% and made a Kaiju explode. Then we exploded too, after.
THERAPIST: On that note, the neural link broadcasted highly intimate imagery across the PPADC network.
MAX: He moaned first, for the record.
THERAPIST: How do you feel about that neural link breach?
MAX: I don’t care about it, honestly. I didn’t mean to upload those memories to the neural buffer. It is what it is. How was I supposed to not think about what happened, when we did it literally still locked in the Drift?
THERAPIST: Would you consider yourself influenced by that unusually strong mental link?
MAX: Yeah, no. I mean, we both were affected by it, obviously, but that’s not all. I wasn’t drugged or anything, I knew what I was doing.
THERAPIST: Not having any second thoughts, then?
MAX: No, why should I? It was great.
THERAPIST: What’s your opinion about the latest addition to your contract?
MAX: It’s funny. Mandatory, probably, I don’t really think about it. Nothing changed for me. I will do my job as usual, and the results will speak for themselves.
THERAPIST: Are you satisfied with your co-pilot dynamic?
MAX: Yeah, he’s a great partner. Very professional, bossy and thinking he’s always right. Steady too, he’s “the brake” for me. Slows me down, and drives me into a wall too. In a good way. He’s the full package.
THERAPIST: Do you feel safe syncing with Carlos, then?
MAX: I feel unmade. It should be illegal. I always loose track who’s piloting and who’s breathing, everything just bleeds together, like we’re one singular entity. That last session, when we hit the 99% for two seconds, I think I’ve ascended.
THERAPIST: How did Carlos respond?
MAX: He made this noise, which should be banned by the way. Like really low in his throat, all restraint and Spanish denial. Maybe that was the catholic guilt. It was- Simply lovely.
THERAPIST: What would you say to Carlos if he were here right now?
MAX: I’d tell him that he’s the only one who makes the Drift feel like home. That I don’t want a co-pilot. I want him. I’d probably throw a wrench at him, for good measure, so he won’t say anything stupid back, like “we won’t work”. Bullshit.
THERAPIST: Do you expect your personal relations to strengthen your professional one going forward?
MAX: Obviously. It also makes the Drift stronger, so it’s a win either way.
THERAPIST: Would you consider this dynamic… healthy?
MAX: Define healthy. Will we cause minor property and major emotional damage? Yes. Will we sync at unprecedented levels in life-threatening scenarios fueled entirely by sexual tension and unresolved feelings? Also yes.
THERAPIST: Mixing arousal with combat readiness is a highly unconventional way to achieve your objectives.
MAX: If the PPADC or Red Bull have problems with it, then they should stop assign us missions that involve heavy breathing and neural proximity-induced insanity.
[END SESSION – THERAPIST NOTES]
Patient is emotionally compromised, otherwise appears calm and confident about his stance towards his co-pilot. Will likely pursue the deepening of personal relations, while balancing it with the professional one.
Recommending supervised drift re-training sessions and a mediated joint session with co-pilot C. Sainz.
-
[REDLINE REVENANT COCKPIT – AFTER HOURS – DOCKED]
Carlos finds Max sitting on the cockpit floor, back to the control panel, legs outstretched, a can of Red Bull dangling from his fingers. He’s wearing a tired expression and one of Carlos’ sweatshirts, the material clinging to his frame in a mock embrace.
Their Jaeger is asleep, the world should be as well for a few more stolen hours. The hangar bay is shrouded in a rare moment of silence below them.
A flicker of those damning blue eyes, recognition, accusation and hope – for something Carlos’ yet to grant to him. “Tired of avoiding me, then?”
The Drift echo pulls them towards each other, emptiness finally easing enough so they can breathe in muted relief. Their minds are still faintly synced, not enough for images, but feeling that presence, the lack of it even more.
“I’m here,” he answers simply, tone placating and joins his co-pilot on the floor. The scant distance left between their shoulders proves to be unbearable.
“Are you, really?” Max isn’t so easily appeased now, voice low and cold. He puts his drink down, already forgotten. “I’m surprised you came here, seeing how you evaded Drifting with me since last time.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Carlos tries, completely honest in this admission.
“Yeah?” Max’s voice cracks, raw with hurt. “You said it was a mistake, and I didn’t care, because I got to know you more than it should be possible.” He’s close to breaking, neural link a bleeding wound. “But you always pull away first, leaving me even emptier now that you carved yourself deeper into me.”
This is exactly what Carlos feared. Not his feelings, but his own cowardice facing them ruining everything. He can’t stand seeing Max like this, causing his pain – he doesn’t want to be right about their relationship not working at this price.
“Yes, you do know me – too well.” The admission is soft, careful. He owes Max more than their division could ever expect of him. They’re not broadcasted now, it’s theirs, however uncertain. “I pull away, so I could keep this between us longer. What we did, what we felt, I’ve never had that before. Not even in the Drift.”
He reaches out, takes a hold of lightly trembling fingers. Old habits die hard, going for a gap that may not even be there. This isn’t a race track though, so Max lets him.
Their mental link pulses stronger – it feels like an approval.
“Then why did you act like it- like I didn’t matter?” The Dutchman is quieter now, less hostile, the underlying disappointment cuts deeper than shouting would.
“Because I’m not used to this.” Baring himself, believing he could be enough and have it all. “You saw everything and still stayed. Wanted even more from me. And I didn’t know how handle it without jeopardizing everything.”
A long beat, dull pain in every heartbeat.
Then–
Max drops his guard in a long exhale, tension easing out of his body slowly and shakes his head at their combined stupidity. “Idiot,” coming from him is an endearment. And an understatement. “Of course I stay. I want more. Everything.”
Carlos laces their fingers together, not intending to let him go again. The touch is warm, grounding them both.
“I’m here,” he says it again, an oath now. “For you.”
The younger pilot finally looks at him properly, red rimmed eyes weary yet forgiving. Full with an emotion they both feel but don’t name. Not yet. “Good. It’s– the link gets really loud without you.” He shifts closer and rests his head on Carlos’ shoulder, making his point.
Carlos hums in agreement, quietly allowing himself to enjoy the moment, body leaning towards Max. His official weakness, now.
It feels right.
Whole.
So he holds on.
-
Max (8:22AM)
you done with the checkup?
Carlos (8:30AM)
yes
good results
as usual
Max (8:32AM)
nice
come over
Carlos (8:34AM)
can’t go now
I have a meeting at 9
with the engineers
Max (8:35AM)
about?
Carlos (8:36AM)
Redline of course
the last maintenance touch ups and updates
Max (8:37AM)
without me?
i see how it is
Carlos (8:39AM)
since someone decided to sleep in
Max (8:41AM)
and someone didn’t wake me up
Carlos (8:43AM)
you managed before
but it’s fine
you needed rest
you’ll know everything anyway
Max (8:45AM)
yeah because of the drift
why can’t i get free pass for every meeting?
Carlos (8:47AM)
can’t have you get lazy
Max (8:48AM)
damn i’ll enjoy it fully now then
come over after
Carlos (8:50AM)
alright
I’ll bring something to eat
in an hour or so
if you can wait until then
Max (8:52AM)
yeah gonna chill
off duty till noon apparently ;)
Carlos (8:54AM)
don’t get used to it
Max (8:56AM)
that’s what you get for not rooming with me
as you should’ve
still a no?
Carlos (8:58AM)
soon
-
[LEAKED VOICE COMMS TRANSCRIPT – REDLINE REVENANT V10 SYNC TEST]
SYSTEM: Neural link level 96% Cockpit temperature: within safe levels.
MAX: Nice to be back here. Smells like new.
GP: Everything is in order on our end. Confirm neural bridge.
MAX: Yeah, sync’s stable. Feels tight.
CARLOS: Copy. Sensors overcompensate movement in limbs.
GP: Noted. We’re looking into it. Suggestion, red R9.
MAX (cheering loudly): New wings? We’re going fast. Also the upgraded hydraulic launchers feel like a dream come true.
CARLOS (smiling): I knew you will like it.
MAX: ‘Like it?’ It’s–
CARLOS: Simply lovely, yes?
MAX (laughing): You get it, Chili.
SYSTEM: Neural link level rising → 98% Bridge balance: stable. Heart rates: elevated. Movement speed: above suggested limit.
CARLOS: Easy now, Max. This isn’t qualifying, you’ll only tire yourself out. Again.
MAX (slightly out of breath, cheeky): You love it. The way I pull you into the rhythm. You’d get bored otherwise.
CARLOS (smirking): Slow and steady is also nice, sometimes.
MAX: Now who’s the filthy, huh?
CARLOS: Stop talking. Focus.
MAX: Stop pretending. You want me to talk.
CARLOS (amused): Then say something useful.
MAX: You brake a little too early every time I push hard. Like you're scared you'll lose control.
CARLOS: I'm not scared of losing control. I'm scared you'll make me want to lose it.
MAX: ...Too late.
CARLOS: Your heart rate is spiking.
MAX: You know what does that.
CARLOS (teasing): And you're going to limp out of the cockpit again, aren't you?
MAX: I hate you.
CARLOS: You adore me.
MAX: Shut up and hold me steady. I'm going in.
CARLOS: You always go in too fast.
MAX: And you're always there to catch me.
GP (muted, but definitely recorded): Jesus fucking Christ. Never a dull moment, with these two.
@LittleLionTamer
THE TEASING? THE INNUENDO?? THE FEELS??? THAT’S VERSAINZ EVERYONE. I’M NOT OKAY. I AM ASTRAL PROJECTING #VersainzMadeMeCry #CockpitBanter
@Sector69Stan
whew reclassifying this as nsfw – not safe for warfare. or for us #JustVersainzThings #KaijuWatchThemDoIt
@YukiSawItLive
Max limping post-sync is now canon. Fight me. With a Jaeger. #BratBottomAgenda #ProjectVersainz
@DTS_newera
i just know the next drift to survive season is gonna be extra kinky #NetflixTakingNotes #Versainz
@smoothbrakesonfire
that cockpit aint a place for piloting its the versainz thirst chamber. i want all the tea the drift techs must have. #IJustKnowItsGood #VersainzGossip
@drift_techno
the way GP just withdrew quietly from whatever this was #VersainzStrikesAgain #GPSaidNotToday
@RedlineOrDie
who tf keeps leaking redline comms and how do I pay them for their excellent service. 10/10 keep up with the great work feeding us king #VersainzCommsHealedMe
-
INSTAGRAM POST - @carlossainz55
[Image carousel: helmet side profile | close-up on chili squad with sunglasses and abs, naturally | Max sketching the design with a marker, tongue out in concentration]
Caption: New helmet, special edition. Art by Max. Featuring my inner spirit peppers. All flaming. #HelmetDrop #ChiliMode
Pinned comment: @maxverstappen1
The flexing one is you after Kaiju take-down. The sunglasses one is when you ignore me in briefings.
@carlossainz55
And the one doing squats?
@maxverstappen1
Emotional repression.
@landonorris
can i have one with a mullet?
@fernandoalo_oficial
This is fine art. I want one with a paella.
-
INSTAGRAM POST - @maxverstappen1
[Photo of helmet: visible sharpie style drawing of a kitten with a full golden lion’s mane curled around the 1]
Caption: Carlos said I needed a new guardian. Now I have this smug cat with a mane judging my Drift sync rates like him. #HelmetArt #LionKittenEnergyInSpanish
Pinned comment: @carlossainz55
It’s based on you. Soft outside, feral inside.
@maxverstappen1
You gave it my hair, and your eyebrows.
@carlossainz55
You gave my peppers abs. Call it even.
@yukitsunoda0511
Why does it look like it has a Red Bull in one paw and a knife in the other?
@georgerussell63:
I feel like the kitten judges me every time I walk past you.
@maxverstappen1
Because it does.
-
@helmutwantspeace
the fact max gave carlos hot peppers and carlos gave max a lion-kitten is everything you need to know about them #VersainzHelmetReveal #I’mNotNormalAboutThem
@ferrari_tempesta
Carlos wore that helmet like it was a crown. The peppers were judging everyone, especially Charles. #KingChili #PowerMove
@KittenWithGrip
this has the same energy of someone doodling in class while staring at their crush. except its ppadc certified driftwear #VersainzFlamingPepperHelmet
@ChiliDaddy_55
The sunglasses chili is Carlos during press conferences. The flexing chili is when he successfully tamed Max. The third one? Carlos in Max's dreams. #CarlosIsSpicy #Artfully
@ManeEvent1
designing each other's helmet is straight up marriage behavior. you don't draw kittens and abs unless you're legally entangled #Versainz #AccuratePortrayal #HelmetsInsteadOfRings
-
[IN-HELMET PRIVATE COMMS RECORDING TRANSCRIPT – POST-SYNC COOLDOWN – REDLINE REVENANT]
SYSTEM: Disengaging neural bridge. Initializing cooldown procedure. Standby for air transport.
MAX (panting, voice cracking): Okay, that was– intense . I think I pulled something. But like… in a hot way.
CARLOS (calm, barely winded): You said “hold me steady” and then nearly passed out. You need to hydrate before syncing – and not with Red Bull. Or stretch. Or both.
MAX: Just admit that you wanna see me stretching.
CARLOS (dry): Yes, it’s amusing to witness the fall of a very sweaty empire.
MAX (chuckling): Thought you didn’t look. What happened to the emotional repression, huh?
CARLOS: Maybe I got tired of pretending to know better.
Long, loaded silence. Fans begin whirring, neural link should fade – officially.
MAX: You’re breathing like that again.
CARLOS: Like what?
MAX: Like you’re holding yourself back and regretting it.
CARLOS (long exhale): You know me well, indeed.
MAX: Mhm. And I still feel you, strongly. Just lay it on me.
CARLOS: Don’t tempt me, little lion. I’m no longer in the mood to behave.
MAX (breath hitching): Then don’t. I’ll like it.
CARLOS: I know. Maybe next time, I’ll make you beg for it.
MAX (broken noise): Fuck , that’s cheating. You’re unfair.
CARLOS (smirking): You like that too.
MAX (groans): I hate it here. Are we even still in cooldown?
CARLOS: I’d call this the warm-up.
[END RECORDING]
-
TWITTER POST - @RedBullDrifting
The fans asked, we delivered. Here's the remake of THIS iconic challenge to celebrate our spiciest pilots. #Versainz #TexasThrowback #FullCircleMoment
[MECHANICAL BULL RIDING CHALLENGE VIDEO TRANSCRIPT]
[0:00 – 0:08]
Old Toro Rosso footage plays – Carlos professionally riding, Max falling after two seconds. Freeze-frame. Grainy. Echoed laughter.
NARRATOR: Ten years ago a rivalry was born. Now, they returned... to settle the score.
[0:09 – 0:25]
Max and Carlos walks into the same rodeo bar, side-by-side. Max is decked in an almost identical outfit he wore back then: Red Bull branded hoodie and cap, skinny jeans for emotional support. Carlos is in a crisp shirt, oozing confidence, authentic cowboy hat in his hand.
CARLOS (smirking): Scared?
MAX: I’m not falling off this time.
CARLOS: I remember you saying that last time.
MAX: I was eighteen. And distracted.
CARLOS (acting clueless): By what?
Max levels him with a significant look, one eyebrow raised meaningfully.
[0:26 – 0:40]
Carlos steps up first again, really committing to remake the original scenario as closely as possible.
MAX: You’re going first again?
CARLOS: Why not, you like watching, anyway.
MAX (smirking): Obviously.
There’s a beat of silence, the bull spins in the background, suggestively.
[0:41 – 1:00]
Carlos rides the bull like a pro – hips steady, back arched, one arm high in the air, the movement positively sinful. He’s matured, calmly focused. Still smug, but with self-awareness now. He dismounts smoothly, then tosses his hat to Max.
CARLOS: Don’t overthink it. Just follow the rhythm.
MAX (catching the hat, expression teasing): I’ll show you how to ride.
[1:01 – 1:41]
Max gets on. No flailing or awkwardness this time. He’s in control, focused and precise. Hips loose, thighs holding strong. He lasts long – way longer than his first time. Carlos blinks, then smirks, clearly impressed.
CARLOS (off camera): You’ve improved.
MAX (still riding, taunting): I’ve had enough practice thanks to someone.
He dismounts, steps so close to Carlos they’re almost chest to chest and casually puts the hat on his partner’s head. They share a lingering eye contact, communicating without words. Tension is thick around them.
CARLOS: Look at you. So grown up. So… firm.
MAX: Fishing for compliments? You’re the one who taught me how to hold on.
CARLOS: So who won this time?
MAX: Depends on what we’re competing for.
The bull creaks ominously in the ensued silence. Probably no one thinks this will make it to the final cut.
[1:41 – 1:59]
They’re sitting on hay bales under the sun in the following scene, drinking from Red Bull labeled water bottles. Tension slightly eased its hold on them.
INTERVIEWER (off camera): Max, last time you said it was rigged. How about now?
MAX: Yeah, it still is, but I’ve learned to ride better. Way easier than piloting a Jaeger.
CARLOS: That’s not what you said last–
MAX (challenging look): You really wanna go there?
Cut to black, title screen fades in with the sponsorship logos. Outro music: slowed-down version of Ginuwine’s “Pony.”
@nano_madethem_doit
chat we have an insider at rb who heard our prayers giving us content we want to see. also i think max is pregnant now. and me too #VersainzBullChallenge #MaxRodeManyThings
@claimed.by.carlos
can't believe we got to watch max starting from jailbait bull riding failure turning into THIS PRO. Carlos taught him good, i’m so proud of my kinky sons #Versainz #BullRidingChampion #FullCircleMoment
@HelmutBlockedMe
MAX RIDING A BULL AGAIN ON MAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL #Versainz #BullChallengeRemix
@thebrat.and.thebeast69
REMEMBER HOW THIRSTY MAX LOOKED WHEN CARLOS RODE THE BULL LIKE THE MATADOR HE IS? NO? THEY DID IT AGAIN. NOW IN 4K #VersainzAtItAgain #HappyPrideYear
@carlosmademaxblushhh
that hip movement should be banned in all continents y’all. smooth operator alright, yeehaw #VersainzOnBull #UnholyTexasNow
@driftDaddyChiliPepper
no but imagine the media team rep watching horner having an aneurysm trying and failing to prove there’s no versainz and thinking yep next vid is gonna be the gayest reminiscing ever #Versainz #FullSend #IloveRBMediaTeam
@DanielIsntInvited_
carlos: you like watching
max: obviously
me: dead
@FerrariShippedItFirst
MAX 'I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO RIDE' VERSTAPPEN EVERYONE. I STOOD UP AND CLAPPED. IN PUBLIC. I NEED A MINUTE. I NEED MORE. I NEED HOLY WATER @VersainzBullRiding #UnholyTexasThrowback
@drift_wag_for_versainz
man the amount of explicit sexual tension i just witnessed. carlos looking like a walking levis ad and max wanting to be the jeans. hes so real for that #VersainzInTexas #CarlosInDenim #MaxInTears
@readingtelemetryerotically
Not Max casually admitting he had been distracted by Carlos back then. Teenage crush confirmed?? #VersainzShenanigans #TexasBaby
@TotoTriedToWarnUs
THIS IS LITERALLY NOT THEIR FIRST RODEO AND NOT EVEN THE SECOND. THEY'RE UNREAL AND UNHOLY LIKE WDYM THEY PRACTICED TOGETHER #VersainzBullChallenge #ImNotTheSameAfterThis
@theydrifted_iknew
yeah we all know max learned to ride from carlos sainz brat tamer extraordinaire #Versainz #RidingLessons
@BoxBoxMeNext55
you ever watched two guys ride a bull just to make eye contact like they’re 3 seconds away from relapsing into drift sex in front of everyone’s salad? because i have. thrice. just this morning. my fbi agent is concerned and probably turned on #VersainzRidingTheBull #AndMyBraincells
@downforce_issues
save a bull ride a cowboy. and by cowboy i mean carlos sainz vasquez de castro #Versainz #NotTheirFirstRodeo
-
[UNAUTHORIZED ANONYMOUS REDLINE REVENANT JAEGER CREW CONFESSIONS – BLOG POST]
aka What the Drift Techs Witnessed Without Their Consent,
by yours truly unhinged Versainz fan
Here’s a delicious compilation of the juicy gossip I’ve collected from different sources, who absolutely saw and heard way too much. Buckle up for an exclusive, highly confidential and completely unprofessional round of spilled tea.
TECH1: Max moans when the sync goes above 90% - every time, without fail. That’s not a theory. That’s trauma. We thought it was neural strain at first, turns out it was just Carlos speaking softly near his left ear.
TECH2: Carlos is not the calm one. He’s the repressed one. I saw the sync spike when Max said “I trust you.” Carlos flinched like he’d been kissed on national television. And Redline Revenant shivered.
TECH3: They came out of a high-sync session red-faced and refusing to speak – with words that is. Carlos’ lips looked bitten raw, Max had a limp. You connect the dots, I’m resigning.
TECH4: We call the cockpit the Thirst Chamber TM . Unironically. It smells like jet fuel, sexual tension and bad decisions in there.
TECH5: You know how we have rooms for neural link simulations when the Jaeger’s down? The sync chair squeaks, but only when those two are using it. I’m not saying what that means. I’m saying that everyone steers clear of that room by a ten mile radius. Do what you will with that cursed knowledge.
TECH6: Carlos once got flustered and blamed it on overheating. The sensors recorded it as ‘elevated arousal response.’ It was after Max called him ‘smooth operator.’
TECH7: We remotely muted cockpit audio for a week straight. Fans assumed it was for security and privacy reasons, it was moaning and someone saying “Don’t stop braking.” I’m Catholic now.
TECH8: Redline’s system flagged a movement as ‘non-tactical pelvic synchronization’ the other day. It was filed under ‘combat intimacy anomaly.’ No one had the guts to delete it.
TECH9: I read their Drift logs once. Now I write Versainz fanfiction under three separate usernames on different platforms. I’m both the observer and the infected. Probably should update my resume and start therapy now.
In summary, Versainz is coming in hot and it’s definitely not GDPA compliant, bless them and George Russell’s poor soul. Fandom suspects the Jaeger itself ships it and honestly? Perfectly valid. Let’s pray for our favorite Redline Revenant crew and for more leaks to cleanse our skin and burn our browser history. We now all live here. In this moment. Permanently.
-
[LEAKED RED BULL DRIFTING SCYNC LOG – FILE #VS.1A-M5 – REDLINE REVENANT]
PAGE ONE: Neural Sync Patterns – Session 33
[SYNC DATA LINE ITEM]:
Emotional surge detected at 5:33PM.
Pilot 1 (Verstappen): elevated neural stimulus, source: auditory trigger.
Pilot 2 (Sainz): corresponding neurochemical response, suppressed.
CARLOS’ OFFICIAL COMMENT:
Voice modulation irregular. Recommend focus training pre-link.
MAX’S RESPONSE (in red gel pen):
I moaned. Sue me.
(draws one (1) large chili pepper with devil horns, labeled: “Carlos’ fault”)
CARLOS’ ADDENDUM:
Try not moaning mid-tactical command.
MAX:
Try not sounding like sin, Chili.
PAGE THREE: Physical Sync Reflex Triggers
[SYNC DATA]:
98.5% achieved during evasive maneuver no. 13B.
Pilot 1 (Verstappen) vocalized: “Hold me steady.”
Pilot 2 (Sainz) vitals: increased heartrate, clenched jaw, grip tension recorded at 133%.
CARLOS:
Excessive neural feedback. Adjust timing.
MAX:
(draws two (2) flaming chili peppers facing each other with little arms – they seem to be holding hands.)
It’s not the timing, it’s the rhythm. You felt it too.
CARLOS:
That’s not a tactical metric.
MAX:
It’s the metric of us.
PAGE SIX: Cooldown Vitals
[DATA]:
Pilot 1 (Verstappen): elevated dopamine, muscle tremors, reported joint overuse.
Pilot 2 (Sainz): stabilized vitals, marked recovery speed.
CARLOS:
Pilot 1 exhibiting post-sync dysfunction. Recommend pacing. And additional exercise.
MAX:
(draws a chili pepper lounging in a chair with sunglasses and a speech bubble that says “I broke Max”)
You volunteering?
FINAL PAGE: Free Comment Section
MAX:
(draws one (1) massive flaming chili pepper with a heart around it, labels it: “My smooth operator”)
@myfairrevenant
THE LITTLE CHILIS ARE HOLDING HANDS I AM NOT OKAY #VersainzLoveLogs #ChiliCarlos
@gloss-and-throttle
since when is a combat log romantic?? we truly live in the future #Versainz #DriftLogAsALovePoem
@wereadtheseatwork
not Carlos correcting Max’s comments like he’s grading homework with a boner #ProfessorSainz #DownBad
@F1ButItHurts
Max’s coping mechanism is to draw increasingly horny chili peppers and bleed emotionally in sparkly red ink. He’s one heartbeat away from signing off as Mr. Verstappen-Sainz. #VersainzIsInLoveYourHonor
@LandoCackled4Ever
Why was the sync log hotter than the actual cockpit audio? WHY IS THE DATA SEXY?? #OnlyInVersainz #LogLeak
@theheartgotDNFd
“my smooth operator” alright when's the wedding? i need to book flights #VersainzWedding #It’sOfficial
-
[JAEGER COCKPIT – REDLINE REVENANT – ATLANTIC COAST]
The Kaiju is a grotesque leviathan this time – twelve limbs, serrated tail, luminescent scales. Its size alone justified the three other Jaegers’ deployment in this joint-mission.
Category V. Highest grade to date.
It’s unnaturally fast.
Redline Revenant fights hard, movement precise and synchronized, until–
SYSTEM: Warning. Impact registered. Direct cockpit hit. Drift instability detected.
The cockpit shakes violently. The screen whites out for a long sputtering moment. Carlos’ hands fly across the control panel. Sparks light up, static feedback on loop.
Max is unusually silent beside him. A ragged breath, then–
MAX: No—no , not again – fuck – fuck–
His body convulses, pupils dilate and suddenly the Drift is not in the present anymore.
SYSTEM: Memory override surge.
Max, younger – alone. Slick tires, wet track. Hydroplaning into the wall at 260 kph. Metal screaming, his own breath seizing in his chest. Brake lock-up, red flag.
The taste of adrenaline and blood.
Isolation. No neural link, yet.
No Carlos.
MAX (panic rising): Carlos I can’t—I can’t move—I can’t see—I’m stuck—I’m fucking stuck again—
SYSTEM: Drift destabilizing. Neural link emergency protocol initializing.
CARLOS (firm, steady): Max. Look at me. You’re not there. You’re here. With me.
SYSTEM: 67% sync… rising…
Max gasps, body shaking uncontrollably and his heartbeat echoes through the cockpit. Carlos can’t take it anymore, he unfastens his right arm mid-combat against protocol and reaches across, grabbing Max’s gloved hand.
CARLOS: Listen to me. I’m here. You’re not alone anymore.
The words ripple through the Drift like a shock-wave. Memory fractures merge together, then and now. Carlos was never there before, but he’s here now, just as he swore to.
Outside the storm rages on, the Kaiju screaming in rage, Redline Revenant frozen in panic and disconnected neural link. The others – Monza Tempesta, Papaya Chrome and Verdant Vengeance – keep fighting it, ready for extermination.
SYSTEM: Sync stabilization complete. 96%… 97%… 98%.
MAX (choking out): You found me.
CARLOS (voice breaking): I always will.
Max clings to his hand desperately, the contact tethering him to the present. Carlos should urge him to rejoin the fight, prioritize the mission above all, but in this moment his co-pilot, his partner comes first. The spiraling aftermath.
MAX (hoarsely): I thought I lost you in the Drift.
CARLOS: You didn’t. You just lost yourself for a second, but I’m always here to bring you back.
MAX (whispering): ...I was so scared.
CARLOS: I know. But you’re not alone anymore, Max. You have me, now. Always.
Their link pulses – gratitude fills the connection to the brim, breathing evening out and Max’s eyes shine brighter under flickering lights. One last squeeze before they let go, another promise. They fall and rise again. Together.
They move as one.
Every step is redemption.
-
[RED BULL DRIFTING SHATTERDOME MED BAY – 02:13 LOCAL TIME]
The lights are dim, everything smells like antiseptic and ozone. Carlos is still in his undersuit, dried blood on his temple. He’s sitting beside Max’s bed, or rather, he’s guarding it. Chair pulled close, elbows on the mattress, his fingers tangled tightly with Max’s. He hasn’t moved in hours, post-mission briefings be damned.
The younger pilot is out cold, yet his grip hasn’t loosened. Clinging to Carlos even in his medically induced dreams.
Several medical personnel tried to make Carlos leave, but wisely retreated after he expressed his disagreement. The monitors beep in a steady rhythm, Max’s vitals are strong – physically at least. The main concern is the psychological aftershock.
The Drift had cracked mid-combat. Carlos felt that raw panic, that crashing memory. Metal on metal. The chaos. The helplessness. He managed to get Max back, to get both of them back home in the end, and yet the remnants of that despair lingers.
Max stirs in the bed, his brows twitch, lips parting in a broken whisper. “Carlos… don’t… don’t go-”
Carlos leans forward in an instant, brushing his thumb over Max’s wrist, his pulse erratic again. “Shh. I’m right here, Max. You’re safe.”
The younger pilot’s hand twitches in answer, tightening around his without waking. A choked exhale, then he relaxes again.
Carlos exhales too – like he had been holding it all in ever since that cracking moment. He adjusts the blanket over Max’s chest with his free hand, then shifts to lean closer, pressing his forehead lightly against their joined hands. He couldn’t get to him fast enough, but he won’t let go again.
And he doesn’t. Not that night.
Even when the med techs finally convince him to lie on the bed instead of beside it, Carlos keeps that hand locked in his.
-
[RED BULL DRIFTING SHATTERDOME – PILOT QUARTERS]
The first crack of dawn slides through the blinds, slicing the room in bands of muted gold and shadow. Carlos sits on the edge of the bed, shirt rumpled, hair a mess. He hasn’t slept. Not really. Just watched Max breathe, keeping silent vigil over the slow and quiet puffs of breath, while the younger pilot curled up like a kitten seeking peace and warmth.
It’s been days since their mission, moving on still proves to be difficult.
Max wakes, blinking into the silence. For a second he seems to forget about Carlos’ presence – their cohabitation a novelty yet – and then remembers everything. He shifts away on instinct, an embarrassed defense. “You’re in my bed.” Again. Still. Carlos’ designated bed had been practically untouched ever since he moved in. Now they pretend Max wants it otherwise.
“Seemed right,” Carlos answers softly. Not enough to mend their link properly though.
Max turns on his back, arms folded behind his head, and stares at the ceiling, the walls snapping back into place around his voice. “You don’t have to fix me, you know.”
“I’m not here to fix you.”
“Then what, Carlos?” He laughs bitterly. “You want to hold me until I magically forget I’m a fucking mess?”
“That’s not what I intend to do.” Carlos shakes his head, voice remaining firm but gentle. “I will hold you until you realize being a mess doesn’t make you a failure, least of all unlovable.”
Max looks at him again, stricken. Words barely above a whisper. “And if I don’t?”
Carlos turns to him fully now, less distance, no filters. “Then I’ll hold you anyway.”
This is the moment, a pregnant pause, heavy breath, another crack – in the despair this time. Max’s face crumples, like something inside gave way and finally reaching for help. Consciously.
“You don’t understand.” He sounds hollow, beaten, hoping for being understood contrary to his words. “When I lost control of the Drift—when the Kaiju hit—I saw Spa. I felt it all again. The helplessness, the noise. I was all alone.”
Carlos doesn’t speak right away, he moves and lays down beside him. Close but not touching.
“Not anymore.”
“I know. I just–” Max’s voice trembles with barely suppressed emotions. “I’m tired of holding all of this alone.”
“Then let me carry some of it.” Carlos reaches out and Max lets him. Lets him in. For the first time, truly. Without the Drift.
The younger pilot turns towards him, hands on Carlos’ chest, cheek nuzzling into his shoulder. Shaking, bare, completely unarmed. Carlos wraps his arms around Max, protecting and grounding him in a tight embrace. Like this is the real sync.
“I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll stay until you believe it. And after that.” He rasps, low, to the crown of Max’s head. “You’re worth staying for.”
The assurance hits closest to home. A quivering exhale, then Max’s body melds into his even more. Guard down, completely. Their bond deepens – not just in trauma, but in trust. In the silent decisions and choosing each other even when the world isn’t on fire.
-
Time passes, the room is still, blanketed in the hum of the Shatterdome night. No alarms or alerts yet, just breathing. The quiet sound of healing that only comes when someone finally lets themselves be held.
Carlos dozed off at some point, one arm around at Max. Protective, but loose now in exhaustion. Max watches the crease between his brows soften with sleep. Watches the man who fights Kaiju side by side with him on every call, his calm in the storm, vulnerable in the lull at last. Awed by the fact that Carlos stayed as he promised.
He shifts slowly, careful not to wake the older pilot, and props himself up on one elbow. Studies Carlos’ face in the half-light. The cut above his brow, the barely there bruise under his jaw. Battle scars they don’t bother hiding after all this time.
Max’s fingers hover above his chest, ghostlike, then he lowers his hand gently, placing it right over Carlos’ steadily beating heart.
The older pilot stirs, eyes slightly opening.
“You alright?” His voice is deep with accent, groggy.
Max studies him quietly for a beat. Then, “I don’t want to run anymore.”
Carlos blinks the sleep away, heart hammering for a different reason now. “You don’t have to.”
“I know. That’s why it’s terrifying.” He gives a shaky laugh but doesn’t pull back. “I always thought love meant weakness. Like–if someone knows what breaks you, they’ll use it.”
There, that word they’ve been skirting around for some time, feeling it in and out of the Drift, uttered plainly. The last remaining defenses lowered, not running away from the truth anymore. It feels frightening and liberating in equal measure.
Carlos’ hold on him is firm again, spurred on by that word alone. “Then I’ll prove you wrong every day.”
Max takes him in, for once really looking – what’s on the surface and what lies behind it. In their connection. And slowly, deliberately he leans in. It’s not their first kiss, but it’s the first one where neither of them pulls away after, finally coming in terms with their mutual affection and need. Where Carlos doesn’t try to soothe, or distract, or fix anything.
Max’s fingers curl into Carlos’ shirt like it’s the only thing that grounds him, keeps him together. They break apart only when breathing becomes necessary again, their distance remains insignificant as Max presses their foreheads together. Breaths mingle, heartbeats erratic but in a hopeful and joyous way.
Max is the first to break the silence. “You said I’m not alone.”
Carlos’ eyes darken, that now named emotion swirling in their depths, ready to consume both of them wholly. He nods imperceptibly. “You’re not.”
“Then don’t be either. I’m here, too. For you.”
This time Carlos is the one who kisses him. Strong hands and even stronger conviction keeping them close. They became entangled, physically, emotionally – their link coming to life without technical intervention, bleeding into each other in a never ending loop.
This is what safety feels like.
What love is for them.
-
[PPADC RED BULL DRIFTING JAEGER DIVISION OFFICIAL STATEMENT]
Following the high-impact Kaiju breach in Sector 6-A, Jaeger Redline Revenant, piloted by Carlos Sainz Jr. and Max Verstappen, successfully neutralized the threat with the contribution of Jaegers Monza Tempesta, Papaya Chrome and Verdant Vengeance in a wide-scale joint-mission.
Despite Redline Revenant sustaining structural damage – including a direct hit to the cockpit – both pilots executed emergency sync maneuvers with exceptional skill.
Carlos Sainz Jr. sustained no lasting injuries and remained in the med bay by choice. Max Verstappen is currently recovering from minor injuries. His vitals are strong, reflexes sharper than ever, and he’s on the way to steady recovery.
We want to thank our fans worldwide for their overflowing support – your memes, fanarts and comments have NOT gone unnoticed.
Versainz will return. Stronger, sassier and slightly more fireproof.
@YukiOnTheWall
If “Versainz will return stronger” doesn’t mean Max coming out of the cockpit with a wedding band, I don’t want it #JustKidding #HopingForASpeedyRecovery #Versainz
@MaxiDuDuDuDu
his vitals are strong = carlos hasn’t let go of his hand since impact. say it with your whole CHEST redbull #BattleHusbands #VersainzInSicknessAndMedBay
@neural_thirst_trap
Carlos definitely DID NOT leave the med bay ONCE. He ate cold protein bars and stared at Max like a renaissance painting. They’re married in every dimension but legally. #ProtectiveCarlos #VersainzButMakeItMarried
@driftCore55
THEY SURVIVED. THEY LIVED. I HAVEN’T STOPPED CRYING IN THREE HOURS. #VersainzIsAllRightAgain
@kaiju_dippedout
me: cheering for humanity
also me: more invested in whether max and carlos hugged it out shirtless in the med bay
this is what we call multitasking
-
[LEAKED JAEGER COCKPIT VOICE COMMS – REDLINE REVENANT]
GP: Alright, boys. Category III Kaiju spotted heading towards the Spanish coastline. Neural synchronization in 10. Confirm ready.
CARLOS: Copy. Starting deployment protocol.
SYSTEM: Neural handshake initializing. Countdown begins: 10, 9, 8-
MAX (strapping in, grinning cheekily): You sure you’re ready to babysit me?
CARLOS (amused): So you finally admit you need a strong hand guiding you.
MAX: Yeah. I mean, like—you're hot when you're mean.
CARLOS: I'm not mean, I'm efficient.
MAX: That's what he said.
SYSTEM: Drift sync initiation begins. 87% - rising
The neural link activates, their breathing and heart rate synchronizes. The cockpit dims to deep blue. Memories start bleeding at the edges – the past, their re-encounter in the same team, fighting together in a Jaeger now instead of each other on track, syncing above expectations, rising and falling together. The pleasure, the pain, confessions in the safety of each other’s arms, holding close. The affection, the denial. The love.
MAX (softly, eyes fluttering): Carlos…
CARLOS (calm, in control): I know. I’m here. I’ve got you.
They hit the ocean, Redline Revenant shudders from the impact. The water is dark and deceptively calm, considering the lurking horrors deep within.
GP: Kaiju closing in, prepare to engage. 2 minutes, countdown starting now.
CARLOS: Copy. Plasma casters ready.
MAX (acting sulky): Not fair. You still won’t let me stabilize those.
CARLOS: And whose fault do you think it is?
MAX: I’ve never made them explode! Really, you act like I’m a rookie sometimes. Which I’m clearly not.
CARLOS: And yet you still refer to our missions as me babysitting you.
SYSTEM: Kaiju incoming. Brace for impact.
The monster emerges and hits them with a force that rattles the cockpit violently. No rain, just wind, yet the Drift pulses erratically, like a heart on the verge of arrest. Flashbacks flicker through their link. Echoes of the crash, the rain, the spin, the impact, helplessly tumbling into barriers, now merging with the last mission, even more triggering.
MAX (flinching hard, breath hitching): Fuck—no.
SYSTEM: Warning . Drift interference: emotional overload – pilot one. Sync level: 82%… 74%… dropping.
CARLOS: Max. Breathe. It’s alright. I’m here.
MAX (gasping): Can’t… hold… you’re in my head, Carlos. All of it—
CARLOS (calm but intense): Yes, I’m here. That won’t happen again. Just let go, I’ll always catch you.
SYSTEM: Neural link reestablishing. Sync level: 80%… rising.
Max’s breathing is ragged, eyes flickering open, fighting to stay in the present. Redline Revenant’s movement is imprecise, lacking true synchronization. They both knew the simulation hadn’t been enough to prepare for an actual combat after their last mission, they need to overwrite that tragedy right here and now. Together.
MAX (choking out): Alright– I’ll do it. Hold on tight.
CARLOS: Do it. I’ll be with you all the way.
SYSTEM: Critical neural surge. Sync level rising exponentially. 95%… 97%… 99.5%
The Kaiju charges, Redline Revenant holds still, waiting. Deep breath, a beat, then Max lets go – of fear, of shame, everything that kept them from merging wholly.
He opens the link.
Fully.
Deliberately.
The cockpit explodes in a burst of neural light.
SYSTEM: Drift sync: 100%. Unprecedented emotional saturation. Pilot link: fused.
Two pilots, one heartbeat. Their Jaeger lunges, thoughts blending, combined instincts leading them seamlessly. No more hesitation, no time for second-guessing decisions, every motion is polished to perfection. The Kaiju is obliterated in a single flaming strike, core bursting like a sparkling explosion.
MAX (panting, sweaty, shaken): Oh god. That was–
CARLOS (out of breath): Yes.
MAX: I think I’ve ascended and saw every star in the universe. Let’s do it again.
CARLOS (smiling): We will. Definitely.
GP (cheering can be heard in the background): Beautifully done, boys. Now take it home, before things get a little too happy in there.
MAX (laughing): Yeah, well, wouldn’t be the first time.
CARLOS: Max.
MAX: What? This calls for a celebration. And I’m still in your head, in case you forgot.
CARLOS (deadpan): Look at how someone perked up.
MAX: All thanks to you. But seriously, thank you.
CARLOS (softening): No need to thank me, we achieved this together.
MAX: Yeah, we did. And it was simply lovely.
CARLOS: Simply us.
-
@chilipeppersandkittens5533
they reached 100% sync and i reached my emotional limit. that wasn't jaeger combat. that was ART. @VersainzSynced100 #MarriedInMind
@iwatchedthemsyncl1ve
we witnessed a marital mind-fusion and now i need therapy, a cigarette, and someone to do that to me too #NeurallyMarried #Versainz
@DriftMeGently
Max said ‘simply lovely’ and Carlos replied ‘simply us’ stooooopppp. That’s their wedding vows. They’re MARRIED. I’m in TEARS #VersainzWedding #RedlineRevenantWasTheirWitness
@benchcamfootagewhen
they fought a kaiju and the real damage was inside Max. physically. emotionally. biblically #VersainzAt100 #MaxNeedsAHug
@ChiliCouldRuinMeToo
Carlos piloted a Jaeger and a man at the same time. King. #SoftDomVibes #VersainzAt100
@RearWingRegrets
no but that emotional rollercoaster going from babysitting to spiraling then getting married in 100% drift like?? #OnlyVersainz #TheyTiedTheKnotMentally
-
[OFFICIAL PPADC FEED – POST-MISSION PODIUM CEREMONY TRANSCRIPT]
Footage: External landing platform, North-West Spain Coastline – livestream captured via JaegerCam and media drones. Crowd consisting Red Bull Drifting personnel, media representatives, locals and fans from abroad. Kaiju threat neutralized.
Redline Revenant status: operational.
Pilots: Max Verstappen & Carlos Sainz Jr.
[00:00 – video begins, feed stabilizes, cheers erupt]
CAMERA: WIDE SHOT
Redline Revenant stands tall behind the makeshift podium the Red Bull staff pulled out. Confetti is already falling, the crowd chants “VERSAINZ” like it’s a war cry.
CAMERA: ZOOM ON COCKPIT RAMP
Max emerges first, jumpsuit half-zipped to the waist, soaked already, hair plastered to his forehead. He’s waving with a smile and the crowd goes progressively wilder.
Carlos follows, more composed, if also dripping in coolant and charisma, the Spanish flag tied around his shoulders like a cape.
They descend together with the help of a mobile elevator, and both of them step on the raised platform. Cameras flash, the moment brings back memories of F1 podium ceremonies.
[00:22 – audio feed unlocked]
MODERATOR: Ladies and gentlemen… your winners of today’s operation, the national hero Carlos Sainz Jr. and his partner Max Verstappen! Give them a round of applause!
Louder cheering, screaming, some of the audience throwing roses. Carlos and Max stands side-by-side, the older pilot resting his hand on the Dutch pilot’s waist, while Max throws his arm around his shoulders. They smile at the crowd like the winners they are.
[00:55]
Red Bull team hands them specially customized champagne bottles. Carlos pops his first – clean spray, all finesse. Max absolutely drenches him, soaking the jumpsuit, gets some in Carlos’ hair with a feral laugh. Chaos, fizz. The crowd loses its mind.
CARLOS (laughing): You do that again and I’ll bring back Suzuka.
MAX: Worth it.
[01:35 – drone feed, close-up shot]
Max clinks his champagne bottle to Carlos’, they share a lingering look, champagne-soaked and elated by the celebration.
MAX: To cockpit fires, Kaiju blood, and surviving another one with you.
CARLOS: To you, Max. My little lion.
They drink, the crowd chants “VERSAINZ FOREVER!”, the live feed goes crazy with comments scrolling faster than the frame rate.
[2:10 – back to stage]
MODERATOR: Any final words before we let you get patched up?
CARLOS (smirking, one hand on Max’s waist again): We’ll be back. Stronger, smoother… and wetter.
MAX (grinning): You heard the man.
[2:49 – feed ends, clip goes viral in 6 minutes]
@sainzdelrey
Carlos wiped champagne off Max’s lip with his thumb like it’s his GOD GIVEN RIGHT and I’m barking at the moon rn #VersainzAndWet #ChampagneCeremony
@postDriftclarity
pov: you just watched the most romantic jaeger pilot celebration since the first kaiju appeared. pr is about to put out a fire AND a restraining order #VersainzVictory #WhoNeedsNetflixWithTheseTwo
@max1mumbrat
HELP WHY IS THIS MORE ROMANTIC THAN MY WEDDING. THE LITTLE LION NODDED CUTELY WHEN CARLOS SAID ‘TO YOU’ I’M SOBBING #VersainzOnPodium #SpanishElopement
@SmoothOperator’sOmega
I want a love like Versainz. Psychic synchronization, emotional devastation and a podium makeout I had to pretend was just pilots being pilots. #Versainz #RedBullAndRedderFaces
@3thelionandthechili3
Carlos calling him ‘my little lion’ while Max looks like he just got absolutely demolished post-mission is NOT helping my heart rate y’all. #VersainzButMakeItWet #LittleLionGotTamed
@yukisburneracc
It’s always the hand on the waist. The eyes. The inside jokes on live. The sinful grins. I can’t keep watching this for free. #VerdainzPodium #PsychicBondingOrPublicForeplay
@nohelmet_needed
not to be that guy but if I ever touch another man’s champagne-soaked jaw like that y’all better call the wedding planner #SmoothOperatorMyAss #VersainzInWet
@VersainzFeelings
Max looked at Carlos like he hung the stars and also rearranged his spine in the locker room. What am I supposed to do with this info?? #DriftCompatibleAndDownBad #ChampagneVersainz
-
[PPADC YEAR-END HONOURS CEREMONY 2025 – GLOBAL BROADCAST]
Location: PPADC Lisbon HQ, Conference Hall B
Hosted by: Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg
[CAMERA FEED: LIVE – VIEWERS ONLINE: 3 MILLION AND RISING]
Nominees for Best Jaeger Team – on screen:
Max Verstappen & Carlos Sainz Jr. (Redline Revenant)
Lando Norris & Oscar Piastri (Papaya Chrome)
Charles Leclerc & Sebastian Vettel (Monza Tempesta)
Lewis Hamilton & George Russell (Brackley Reaper)
Winner: Max Verstappen & Carlos Sainz Jr. (Redline Revenant)
Theme song: “Smooth Operator” mashed with “33 Max Verstappen” and a recording of Max screaming “GO LEFT CARLOS, THE OTHER LEFT” from one of their first missions.
Applause, champagne mist, Max and Carlos stand up at once with PR polished smiles on their faces. Carlos rests his hand briefly, possessively on Max’s lower back as they make their way to the stage. Max lets him, with a telling ease.
[ACCEPTANCE SPEECH TRANSCRIPT]
CS (calm, confident, a little smug but soft around the eyes): Thank you. This has been a year of surprises. We walked into the cockpit with history, rivalry, a lot of sharp edges between us. Now we walk out of it stronger, calmer. United. With less yelling, certainly.
MV (laughs): There was some yelling. But also… a lot of trust. Opportunity to learn. From and about each other. And somehow, against all bets everyone made, we work. Together.
CS (gently): You stop flinching when someone sees all of you. Truly. That’s the magic of the Drift. And perhaps… that’s love, too.
Max looks sideways at Carlos, something warm simmers under the surface and blooms beautifully when the older pilot glances at him. The crowd is now a mix of teary-eyed and speechless. Lando fake-swoons into Oscar’s arms, Yuki and Logan are already live-streaming every word. Fernando smiles proudly like he personally made this all happen. Christian is smiling through the pain, probably dying inside for the umpteenth time.
MV: Yeah, we’ve been through a lot. Fighting, syncing, saving cities from falling apart. Each time, we had the other in that cockpit. Same wavelength, same heartbeat.
CS (soft grin): So this award? It’s just a ceremony. We already won the moment we stopped fighting the pull and just leaned into it. And if you think this year was intense… wait until you see what we do next.
-
@boxboxbutsadly
That speech had everything: yearning, trust issues resolved mid-battle, gentle finger brushes, one (1) tear and Max holding onto Carlos’ jacket like a lost victorian bride. I’m unwell. #VersainzAwardSpeech #DriftHusbands
@deepinthedrift53
HE SAID IT. HE SAID ‘LOVE’ EVERYONE STAY CALM. VERSAINZ COMING OUT OFFICIALLY SOON I FEEL IT IN MY BONES. #VersainzInLove #YearEndAwards
@esteban_is_tired
That was not a speech. That was a love declaration disguised as a military commendation. Shakespeare could never. #VersainzCanon #SpeechInLoveLetterFormat
@driftbondedandderanged
Carlos: breathes
Max: looks at him like the sun rose just for him
Me: ferally weeping and making fan edits with Lana Del Rey songs
@f1truthsanonymous
Here’s to an eventful year with Versainz shenanigans, and here’s to another even more unhinged one. Till the end of time. They own my last remaining braincell and my SOUL. #RaiseYourGlassForVersainz #HappyYearEnd
@brakecheckedkaijus
when they say ‘drift compatibility’ they mean ‘husband of mine, keeper of my heart and soul, the one I’d follow into the breach every time’. truly a tearjerker. get a man who can do both. #VersainzHusbands #YearOneInMaritalBliss
@domestic_drifting
Carlos said many things but that threat for more to come at the end, while casually claiming Max in front of the whole world and Horner?? I am sat. I am on my knees. Worshipping. #VersainzHasMeInTheirChokehold #IAmUnwell
-
[ALEX ALBON’S UNFILTERED AFTER-AFTERPARTY STREAM – POSTED. DELETED. REUPLOADED.]
Stream title: Year-End Party Vibes In Love
7.2M views in 10 hours. Reuploaded by 200 accounts
Location: PPADC Year-End After-Afterpary, somewhere very much not HR-approved.
ALEX (tipsy, loudly whispering): Okay, okay, listen – this is fully red flag behavior, I definitely shouldn’t be streaming this, but you all deserve to know the truth.
The phone swings around, shows Carlos and Max standing in a corner, suit jackets off, laughing over a shared glass and joke. Carlos leans in, says something directly next to he other pilot’s ear, probably in Spanish, that makes Max choke on his drink. Then – Carlos kisses the edge of his jaw casually, like breathing.
ALEX (panicked): He did the thing. This man is gone, prayers won’t reach him anymore. That’s a man who’s been domesticated. That’s a daddy-level Drift bond. No questions asked.
LANDO (off-screen): You’re gonna get sued.
OSCAR (dryly, off-screen as well): You’re recording it too.
Carlos glances over, instantly notices Alex filming and grins, like he knows exactly what he’s doing and wants the world to watch it. Max actually blushes, and Lando is cackling over the music seeing that.
ALEX: I’m telling you – they’re married in eight dimensions.
-
@alexalbonstan88
Alex leaking that stream is the best thing to happen to humanity since the wheel. Give him a Nobel prize or a cease and desist. Neither or both, he’s a King anyway. #AlbonIsTheMainVersainzShipper
@chaoticneutralpapaya
Max’s BLUSH?? Carlos’ GRIN?? The casual possessiveness?? SIR, you’re in PUBLIC. Do it again. #ChiliRoastedKitten #VersainzAfterParty
@screamingtifosi16
They’re so obviously into each other even the other pilots ship them. That’s not even fanfic material, that’s reality. And I’m screaming into my pillow right now. #VersainzIsCanon #RIPCharlos
@SainzTanlines
Carlos whispering dirty things making Max blush in a semi-official event and being completely unapologetic about it is what keeps me alive in these tough times. #BratTamer #VersainzInTheParty
@maximum_sync3553
The look Max gave Carlos when he thought the camera wasn’t on? They’re already married. I don’t care what Red Bull says, he’s spoken for. #VersainzWeddingWhen #AlexDoingGod’sWork
-
[VERSAINZ TUMBLR MASTERPOST]
THE CABIN ARC: HOW TWO DRIFT-COMPATIBLE IDIOT TIED THE KNOT
Posted by @kaijublue
INTRO: YOU CAN’T TRUST A MCLAREN BOY WITH SECRETS
When Red Bull’s Jaeger dream team vanished from the public eye after the year-end award gala, the less unhinged part of fandom assumed they’d be doing very normal, and mainly PPADC related things. The unhinged part hoped for something spicier.
And what we got? A four-week cabin retreat in the Alps, matching flannel and Lando Norris dropping classified romantic intel on his Twitch stream like it was nothing. The fandom hasn’t known peace ever since.
Let’s unravel the timeline, bring snacks, I provide the tea.
DEC 17 – DISAPPEARING ACT BEGINS
Max is last seen giving an “I need a break” interview in his usual (heart-eyed) gremlin mode. They both leave the viral PPADC gala after-afterparty early. Suspicions not only arose, they’re flashing like a neon sign.
Next day the eagle-eyed fans notice they’ve both gone dark on socials. The faithful Versainz believers go full FBI.
Two days later, Lando posts a photo of snow boots and captions it: “Visited some losers in the mountains.”
Conspiracy theories take roots and bloom overnight into a full jungle. Almost as lush as Carlos’ lips are.
DEC 21 – THE LEAK
Twitch stream begins. Lando sips something probably stronger than tea from a McLaren mug and says: “They’ve been stuck together for days. And it’s like watching a married couple, who just found out they’re hot for each other. Carlos made soup. Max did laundry. I wanted to die.”
“Also, there’s one bed.”
One. Bed.
Fandom goes into instant cardiac failure. #OneBed trends. #LandoLeaks goes viral.
DEC 24 – CARLOS POSTS A CRYPTIC PHOTO
Fireplace, two mugs—one red, the other navy blue. No words needed at this point.
Lando comments, “That soup slapped tho.”
They’re not even trying to be subtle anymore.
DEC 27 – YUKI LIKES A TWEET AND CHAOS ENSUES
Yuki Tsunoda likes a tweet that says: “If Max and Carlos are snowed in together, you know it’s mutual pining in front of a fireplace. On the rug. Horizontally.”
Yuki unlikes it 6 minutes later. The damage is already done by then.
JAN 2 – LANDOLEAKS TM STRIKES AGAIN
Lando plays golf on Twitch, casually dropping the most vital piece of lore since the PPADC’s Kaiju Alert System malfunctioned. “They’re like… freaky domestic. I saw Max fold Carlos’ shirt. That’s love. I’ve seen enough rom-coms to get that.”
JAN 5 – VALTTERI BOTTAS POSTS CRYPTIC TWEET
“Love blossoms best where the snow is thick and the WI-FI is weak.”
Sir. SIR. What in the Shakespeare?
JAN 10 – MAX GOES ONLINE FOR 30 SECONDS
Max appears in Carlos’ Instagram story: blurry, in a presumably Red Bull hoodie, throwing a snowball.
Caption: “He tried to bury me. It’s fine, I did worse.”
Damage: permanent. Versainz girlies are not alright.
JAN 17 – THE RETURN OF THE DRIFT-KINGS
Max and Carlos sighted at the PPADC Red Bull Drifting training camp. Both are very well rested, and clearly in each other’s clothes, hair slightly longer, fluffier.
Distance? Non-existent.
Wedding bands? Waiting to be engraved.
In Lando’s words: “They came back radiating post-sex clarity and main-character energy. Good for them.”
Good for them, indeed. And good for us, to be blessed by LandoLeaks TM and especially good times to be a Versainz truther.
CONCLUSION: THIS ISN’T DRIFT. IT’S DEVOTION.
We thought we were in for another Versainz slow burn, what we were blessed with instead:
- Cabin-core romance
- Soup. Laundry. Snowball fights – in love
- Lando being the shippers’ no.1 supporter by serving tea
- Max and Carlos having one (1) bed and infinite chemistry
Carlos did NOT lie.
They came back stronger, smoother and wetter – from snow among many unholy things.
We came back feral.
God bless Lando Norris and his inability to keep secrets.
Happy New Versainz Year All.
@maxinflannelalteredmybrain
lando norris has committed high treason and I’d like to shake his hand. BLESSED BE THE NOSY GREMLIN LEAKER GOD #LoseLipsLando #VersainzSecrets
@versainz_chronicles
THEY’RE ON THEIR HONEYMOON WHILE WE’RE HAVING A MELTDOWN. THE AUDACITY. THE ROMANCE MOVIE WORTHY PLOT. THE TEARS I SPILLED. #VersainzHoneymon #OneBed
@land0hhh
can’t believe there was a time we were worried about their drift compatibility. look at them getting married and retreating into their cute little cabin in the woods for WEEKS. #VersainzGetaway #IneverDoubtThemAgain
@PPADCLEAKS4
max & carlos went to the woods to touch grass and each other and came back even more domestic and glowing. i love them so much it hurts. #VersainzCabinFever #HappyNewYear
@versainzromcomms
carlos: i’m a private person
also carlos: lets max wear his whole wardrobe, eat his soup and fold his shirt in a cabin with ONE BED #DriftAndDomesticity #VersainzInTheWoods
@maxgotchilicoded
plot twist: they never were enemies, just repressed romantic leads in a monster movie #VersainzRomCom #WithKaijuSupportingCast
@happilyeverafter
it’s not even #OneBed anymore. It’s #OneLife. #OneHeartbeat. #OneSoupPot and #OneLittleHouse.