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Dazai sits in Chuuya's house. on his large, black leather couch that had been bought as a mundane item to Chuuya.
it's comfortable, so comfortable the exhaustion that's so deeply rooted within him wants to make him sleep without the usual comforting warmth that's next to him..
Dazai had broken in, obviously, using a lock pick through the window of course. the front door would be too clear to Chuuya. He would know.
the Idea was to surprise him after all, even though his dog had never been too fond of his “surprises” before, Dazai was certain Chuuya would graciously accept this one,
Chuuya was getting home from a 3 week mission out of Yokohoma, he was in Paris as far as Dazai knows. getting information for Mori - a boring mission that truly could've been done by anyone else.
should've done by anyone else in Dazai's opinion, he's been waiting so long to bother Chuuya again and it's honestly such a bore!
Dazai misses his… Fiancé, so dearly. they technically have been Fiancé’s for years by now, but it feels like their married.
Dazai's planning to get Chuuya to talk with him tonight mostly, they haven't seen each other in months. due to fights and a specific argument that got Dazai banned from Chuuya's apartment building temporarily.
…
it was not glamorous.
however, over the years Dazai has been head over heels for Chuuya, he's come to realize that not everything has to be.
it would still be nice if Dazai could be allowed in Chuuya's apartment though, having to sneak in through a window on a second floor isn't exactly what you WANT to spend 2 hours doing on a Saturday evening..
Dazai's hands are fiddling with whatever they can without causing a mess to form.
he doesn't want to be uncleanly, he doesn't want a reason for Chuuya to kick him out aside from the obvious.
He even chose something quiet for once, his own coat. gently caressing the fabric soothes him when he's upset. normally he would go for his wedding ring, however that would just make him even more anxious.
it's weird to think that Dazai of all people is anxious, about Chuuya no less - however he's never really been the calm and collected man he is around the Mafia with Chuuya.
Dazai's been thinking too much about the Mafia recently, thinking that perhaps he's going to be forced to go bad eventually.
it's not a pleasant thought, nor is the feeling of disgust that comes with it.
having to face Mori almost every day would be enough for him to just pull a trigger, but having to speak at a large banquet one more time might just do the job by itself..
his coat is soft and thin, making the perfect thing to run his fingers so softly over up and down. this coat always manages to soothe him, being so perfectly relaxing whenever he needs it.
it's one of the reasons Dazai keeps it on instead of hanging it up to never be used again.
Dazai doesn't think he could survive without the thing,
and that becomes very clear when he hears the door creak open.
slowly the door opens, showing an exhausted Chuuya. one who doesnt even notice his Fiancé at first, prioritizing taking off his shoes and coat.
his shoes fit perfectly in the black shoe rack, and his coat hangs properly up right at all times on the coat hanger Chuuya bought.
Chuuya let's out a tired sigh, stretching his arms now that their free.
Dazai finds it cute how he does that at exactly this time after he takes his coat off..
but he must stay focused on the objective.
which is?
getting Chuuya to not be mad at him anymore. a hard feat however far from an impossible one.. probably. hopefully.
with Dazai's eyes on him, Chuuya notices quickly. looking… unimpressed, angry even. no, DEFINITELY angry.
“what are you doing here.” he says it cold and harsh, as if Dazai had offended his ancestors somehow.
Dazai's at a slight loss. of course he is, he's let himself be clueless around Chuuya enough it's a reaction he has when he doesn't know what to say.
…
he ignores that completely however, he can't be weak or annoying as Chuuya often calls him during these arguments.
“I got lost.” its all that Dazai can think to say before he finally uses his brain,
“it's raining outside pretty bad, and your apartment seemed perfect to rest in.” now spoken in a confident tone.
as if he still had the option to just stay here for a bit.
“Yeah right. Tell me the actual reason.” Chuuya is angry with Dazai. Of course he is - what's there to not be angry about?
Chuuya sees Dazai's face change slightly with every thought. Chuuya could see right through Dazai even if he tried to hide everything again, time will do that to someone.
Dazai is silent for minutes. thinking. what else Is there to really do? if he was sappy about this it wouldn't feel right.
he can't just.. tell the truth. Chuuya would think he had ulterior motives. Even worse is that that's a fair assumption.
Chuuya waits, even though his patience is running thin. … but Dazai knows that there's only a certain amount of time he has before Chuuya just gives up.
it's late, he only just got back from a three week long mission and he's exhausted.
“...” Dazai doesn't know what to say for once. does he lie? say something stupid that'll probably get him kicked out?
he can't find it in him to admit that he was wrong. neither of them can, they're both much too prideful for anything like that.
“I'm telling the truth Chuuya, I'm offended you'd think I would lie to you!” Dazai says, putting his hands up in a dramatic display.
a dramatic display that Chuuya finds irritating. so irritating in fact, that Chuuya starts to get an itch to punch the idiot that has the nerve to be laying down right now
Dazai can tell that was the wrong thing to say. … Chuuya looks even angrier with him now.
“tell me the truth or get out.”
… Dazai doesn't want to leave. yeah they've been having arguments, but it shouldn't be the end of the world.. he can't sleep without Chuuya next to him.
he's barely gotten any rest for the weeks that they've been arguing.
Dazai however, still can't force himself to just admit he was wrong.
he knows that he's in the wrong - what kind of asshole tells their Fiancé that they don't matter in the slightest over a petty argument that has to do with kitchen appliances.
Dazai is the kind of asshole to do so. he wasn't being serious, he didn't think he was, but Chuuya took it to heart.
…
Dazai gives Chuuya a pleading look.
too prideful to admit he was an ass, but sometimes pleading with Chuuya works.
“Don't look at me like that you bastard. your not getting out of this with puppy eyes.” Chuuya's voice is harsher, however he isn't a whole lot angrier then he was at Dazai's last attempt.
Progress? not really but he isn't pissing Chuuya off more.
“Must I truly say it? do you have to put me through this?”
“Yes. you have to say it.”
“...”
Dazai takes brief pause.
He has options of course, he always has options. he could so easily just start talking, pick at everything Chuuya's insecure about and get himself locked out in five seconds flat.
The harsh feeling of being tired is already washing over him, but he's not that desperate.
yet.
he can't sleep without being next to Chuuya, or just a person in general.. but where would he find someone else? and they'd want something in return wouldn't they?
Dazai tries his best to not fuck up with Chuuya, and cheating doesn't seem like a great idea to be honest.
“Can't I get away with it? just this once?”
it's a quiet mumble, a last ditch resort that Chuuya (hopefully) can't even hear that well.
but he hears it.
Dazai's getting under his skin at this point, without even trying too as well.
Dazai’s staring at Chuuya. He's thinking about.. something. never good when Chuuya thinks for too long. not for Dazai at least.
the rain outside, all though dull from the well made thick walls of the building, cause a background noise that makes Dazai ever so anxious.
his hand finds his coat again with almost practised ease. more subtly this time however, he can't look like a fool in front of Chuuya. (Chuuya doesn't care of course, but that's not Dazai's first priority right now.)
“No. you can't just worm your way out of this dammit! say you were wrong at the very least!” Chuuya says, his temper finally getting cut too short and lighting.
Dazai's not scared of loud noises or yelling per say, but he's never.. especially been a fan of it.
Dazai's options are getting slimmer.
he's so.. tired.
would it really be the end of the world to say something Chuuya wants to hear?
even if he does have to lie?
Chuuya won't notice anyway if he does, he'll just be too happy that Dazai actually admitted he was wrong for once.
yeah. Dazai can lie and get to sleep tonight and then resolve this another day. god he feels like such a genius,
“...Fine,” in his best convincing voice, “I was wrong for what I said. I'm sorry.”
“Get the fuck out.”
Panic spreads through Dazai. panic he didn't think would, however leaving.. leaving means not sleeping for even longer, days on end maybe.
he can't leave, he wants to lay with his Fiancé for the first time in at least 2 months, is that so much to ask for?
Apparently it is…
in a more quick, ever so slightly upset tone “No- Truly I am, please don't kick me out..”
Dazai didn't realize that his eyes widened. or that Chuuya noticed his sudden change of heart.
so much for being observent..
Chuuya stares down at Dazai. suddenly much closer than Dazai thought he was.
The sudden proximity makes Dazai feel warm and more relaxed, but he can't let his guard down..
“What exactly are you sorry for? say the entire thing or get nothing.” Chuuya says, unamused with the act.
…
Dazai feels how tired he is, growing more and more upset with himself. if he hadn't said that in the first place this could be over with by now! but Noooo. he just HAD to say that.
is lying truly worth it?
he's so close to having what he wants. Chuuya right next to him in the big, luxurious bed they share most nights.
there's no point in even trying anymore is what he tells himself, imaging getting back at Chuuya for his cruelty tonight to comfort himself for what he's about to do.
“...I didn't mean to say that you were worthless to me, I didn't mean it at all.”
he lets out a small, unnoticeable sigh.
“I'm sorry. please forgive me.”
It takes Chuuya ten seconds tops to realize he's gotten his way. with a surprising amount of ease as well.
Dazai usually fights with him more. never gives up, argues and argues until Chuuya kicks him out or gives up,
…
truly, a win is a win.
with a satisfied expression, Chuuya speaks. “well, in that case,” he takes a brief pause to breathe which lets Dazai regret giving in so easily for just a moment. “, what are you doing on the couch Osa? come with me to bed.” Chuuya smiles a bit.
Dazai quickly gets off the couch, and after looking at Chuuya for just a moment for l confirmation, he starts walking to their bedroom. utterly relieved. “Happily” Dazai mumbles, knowing that Chuuya is following right behind him
Dazai settles into bed first, flopping down on the expensive sheets. his coat and shoes and the majority of his outwear was already off, he can stand sleeping in his clothing..
Chuuya let's out a small laugh at how it looks - “you really gonna sleep like that? at least take your clothes off.”
“too much work..” Dazai whines. Chuuya'll do it for him, like he always does.
and he knows he's right when Chuuya's soft fingers start on the buttons of his shirt. it's all he's wearing, his shirt and pants and the bandages underneath.
Chuuyas fingers are soft against his skin, and Dazai can feel them even through the rough bandages hes wrapped around his arms - not the brand that Chuuya buys of course, those are too expensive (too nice) for Dazai - it feels… nice.
Whos he kidding it feels great.
Dazai would never refer to himself as clingy, hes never been especially needy or attention seeking. But he cant lie to himself and say that this isn't the nicest thing hes felt in a while.
Chuuya’s hands always feel nice, even against the rough gauze thats been put around his arms just a bit too tight and around his wrists a bit too thick for Chuuya’s liking.
Chuuya slips the cloth off of Dazai’s shoulders, throwing it and letting it lay somewhere on his floor to be dealt with later.
Chuuya removes Dazais pants next, a lot more swiftly however. Chuuya wants to sleep just as much as Dazai does.
The sheets are silk and its so comfortable Dazai feels like he may throw up from how luxurious it is, however he can’t deny how delightful it is to be back in this bed. Even if his skin has gotten used to the rough mattress in his agency dorm that he got for no more than 20 dollars off the street.
“Bandages on or off.”
… Dazai couldn’t stand to have them off tonight, he’s been vulnerable enough tonight.
“On..” its a quiet mumble, but Chuuya understands none the less. Even if Dazai had stayed completely silent, Chuuya would know, Dazai almost never takes them off. Just in general; really, but he takes them off even less around Chuuya.
Dazai’s pants are discarded, thrown somewhere next to Dazai’s shirt on the hard wood floor.
Dazai is left in his boxers, which are ignored as he shuffles around to get under the covers and lay down properly.
Chuuya follows suit, undressing about ten times faster despite having much more clothing on, and eventually settling right next to Dazai under the covers.
They both drift to sleep fast, not having any more energy to stay awake.
~
Tomorrow morning, Chuuya wakes up at five o clock. He has the day off work since he just got back from such a tiring mission, but he keeps his alarm at this time every day so he doesn't ruin his strict sleep schedule.
Chuuya feels a hint of surprise when he feels that the bed next to him isn’t cold like it usually is.
Seeing Dazai lying there, right next to him with his head in Chuuya’s chest, made Chuuya feel a deep sense of satisfaction. He had gotten his way, and for once Dazai hadn’t tried to leave him for it.
Chuuya knew that there was a LONG conversation to be had with Dazai once he woke up, however that can happen at a later date. For now, Chuuya can have Dazai all to himself for a few hours.
He doesn’t need to notice the smile on Dazai’s face when he pulls him closer into a tighter embrace.