Chapter Text
It was a truth universally acknowledged that Dwarrow were indeed a stubborn race. They were also well-known for their animosity towards others, particularly other races and specifically the Elvish one. The grudges might be formed on preconceived insults or based on actual conflicts and they could very well last a couple of decades (even centuries).
A lesser known, lesser remarked on truth about Hobbits however was that they were equally capable of holding grudges.
Unlike Dwarrow, Hobbits were quick to forgive but they certainly were not the ones to forget. First impressions though misleading were often lasting when it concerned Hobbits.
Did you have a dispute with a Hobbit on your first meeting? A delay in greeting them, or perhaps you did not praise their beloved and well-tended garden enough? Did you, intentionally or not, slight their cooking skills or hosting abilities?
If yes, then by Green Lady do not expect to be invited to their abode once again. And if you are fortunate enough to receive such an invitation, then drop by with the expectation of stale cookies and cold tea being served to you. And watch out for prune brownies or Brandybuck's special chilli powder in your dessert!
One Dwarvish leader became acquainted with this fact, the hard way. Unimpressed and highly sceptical by the Wizard's praise regarding the prowess of Hobbit burglars, Thorin Oakenshield was not of a mind to pay much attention to the newest addition to the Company. The Wizard was providing them with his aid, and the Dwarven King obliged by allowing him to appoint the fourteenth member of his Company.
He didn't expect the Burglar to turn out to be a female Hobbit, with no prior experience at all in burglaring. The mere notion of her facing a Dragon was ludicrous.
From that point on, Thorin had not been expecting anything from the Burglar. Over the course of the journey, however, she slowly started to defy his expectations (or the lack thereof). He barely deigned to take much notice of her at first, but soon she began to hold his attention. He became aware of her presence; while riding, setting up camp or sitting in a ring around the fire as the cloak of night covered the landscape in utter dark. His eyes were drawn to her comely figure, her bouncing curls which flashed gold in sunlight and her sparkling eyes of an emerald hue which were irresistibly charming.
But it was not only her beauty that captivated him; Thorin soon came to appreciate her lively disposition that managed to raise the spirits of the Dwarrow when gloom brought by the constant rain or hunger threatened to pull them under, her quick mind that engaged others in spirited debates, her considerable wit that reared on him whenever he reproached her for one thing or another. With very less effort, Bella Baggins slowly made her place in the Company and became the sole subject of his gaze and his thoughts.
Thorin had certainly not envisioned to come to care for a creature he did not deign enough to call by her given name at the start. But 'Burglar' soon converted into 'Hobbit', 'Hobbit' soon changed into 'Miss Baggins', 'Miss Baggins' became simply 'Bella', and 'Bella' turned into'my Bella' (though only in his mind.)
The Dwarf would never have foreseen the burglar appointed to unearth Arkenstone from beneath a fire-breathing dragon, stealing his heart instead.
Bella catered to the admittedly very healthy appetites of his Company, an impressive feat in itself. She faced three mountain Trolls by herself and quite cleverly stalled for time; indirectly ensuring their safety. She quickly learned to handle a blade she could not even hold steadily at first. She made the choice to go along with him- with them, leaving her warm and spacious home to travel through the unpredictable and perilous wilderness. And once again when offered protection and safety, Bella Baggins left the sanctity of Rivendell with in order to continue the Quest.
Bella remained while Thorin doubted her time and time again. He rebuffed her innumerable times and did not once attempt to get to know her. She nearly plummeted to her death after encountering the stone Giants and he been terror-stricken, so desperately afraid of losing her. But instead of providing comfort (he desperately desired to pull her in his arms), the Dwarf had once again admonished her with harsh words. She escaped unscathed from the Goblin Town when they forsook her, appearing out of blue the exact moment he was raving about her not coming back ever.
The Dwarf's discerning gaze perceived the hurt and anger in her gold flecked green eyes but he was far too relieved at that moment to take back his bitter words, content to gaze at her and make sure she was fine, that she was not hurt and it was all going to be alright- then the Orcs cut through the clearing and apologies were all but forgotten.
And then, of all the miracles to occur, Bella saved his life. His Burglar, whom everyone largely underestimated, stood between the Defiler and himself and shielded his unconscious, wounded form.
He knew that he had been utterly wrong about her and utterly unfair to her, forming prejudices before he even got acquainted with her and sticking to them without even getting to know her. Thorin had apologised and she accepted his apology graciously. He proceeded to draw her close to his chest on the Carrock and she melted in the brace of his arms, and everything was perfect- Mahal she was perfect for him.
Why had he not realised it before?
For a few blissful hours all his thoughts were preoccupied by Bella Baggins, for Thorin had just discovered that she was his One and he felt so elated that he thought he could take on the whole world if only she were by his side. It did not hit him all at once like a blow of hammer, instead it was a slow and gradual realisation- a glowing jewel that had grown his heart whenever they had been close and he only just managed to unearth it.
They had been running for their lives from a gigantic bear and the vile Orcs, the Dwarrow were exhausted and famished and yet his thoughts were consumed by her, of proposing courtship as soon as they were in a safe shelter. The thought of that alone lend the Dwarf strength; he sprinted forwards, unbolted the gigantic gate and ushered the rest of the Company inside.
And he led her to the back garden that night in Beorn's house, when sleep claimed everyone and only they were still conscious of the world around them. The Hobbit was nearly always the last one to doze off, more drained than anyone and yet less accustomed to sleep outdoors with roots and twigs poking her back. This night however, she was still up and about as Thorin had especially requested for a private audience, and with some bewilderment Bella obliged.
They stood under the dark velvet sky and Thorin took a few moments to appreciate the wild, unruly and breathtakingly beautiful garden illuminated by the silvery strands of moonlight. He wondered how to began, was trembling with excitement and fear as he started- warming up soon after and yet still apprehensive, he professed his love for her, poured out the extent of his affections in whispered words and requested her to grant him her consent to braid his beads into her long, honey curls.
Bella froze to the spot, and gaped at him for a good many moments as if he had grown an extra head. Her eyes went very wide, and he was standing close enough that he could see the blatant shock on her face.
"You don't even like me!" And with that a storm unleashed. Thorin was not at all been prepared for the onslaught. "You barely ever look at me, let alone talk to me in a civil tone!"
"I do like you," He responded and desperately wished he was more eloquent. It was never been an issue before. "I-
But Miss Baggins it seemed was not finished just yet. His eyes perceived the apples of her cheeks glowing red in a way that always sought to endear him to her. And yet at that moment Thorin Oakenshield, the heir to throne of Durin, had taken a step back.
"-and when you do look, its only to find fault in me. You made your opinion of me clear enough, Thorin Oakenshield- I'm weak and a hindrance. I don't deserve to be here, I have no place amongst your kind!"
He was startled by her words. And she had clearly taken his earlier ones to her heart.
"I took everything back, at Carrock." Thorin had managed to utter- and he intended to say a lot afterwards, to rebuke her every claim and show her he truly meant to-
But Bella, whom he always admired for her quick mind, had been quick to retort."You only felt indebted because I saved your life. You don't have to. You saved mine back when we happened upon the Stone Giants. And I would have done the same had there been someone else in your place. Without the leader, the Quest is nothing- you had to survive! And I was the only one not trapped in the trees and facing some sort of hindrance-"
The Dwarf had cut in then, bewildered at her rambling. "I do feel indebted and I-"
"Don't! I know that we mutually dislike each other, and I can't see anything productive coming out of this conversation. You may respect me now to some degree, you finally accept that I can be an asset to your Quest rather than a liability, but you don’t like me."
"I don't dislike you- Mahal how many times will you make me say that?" His brows furrowed over his eyes. Did she not pay attention to a single word he uttered?
"I hold you in the very greatest regard! There is something between us, something powerful and strong. I feel for you things I have never felt for another being in my entire life." He drew closer to her then, taking hold of her hand in a firm but gentle grasp. "And you, Bella Baggins, talk to me of not ‘liking’ you?"
She did not withdrew her palm, she grasped his tighter instead. Thorin wasn't sure whether it was a good sign or not. Yet he could not help hoping, longing.
He lowered his head, and rested his forehead against hers and she did not stop him, she shivered.
"There is something between us, far more potent than mere ‘like’," he whispered softly. "There is passion here, can you not sense it? There is loyalty and steadfastness and attraction, can you not feel it, Bella? You tremble at my touch, you tremble when I take your hand. That is not to be ignored."
Bella had taken a deep breath and then she pulled away, and he felt the loss immediately.
"You insulted me on my own doorstep, Thorin." She spoke slowly, and the bitterness in her voice startled him. "I would be a fool if I thought that you could ever like me."
"You- you must detest me then if that event is still so clear in your mind. If for that one memory you are willing to overlook everything that occurred since and everything that I have said now."
"I don't detest you- you cannot reasonably expect me to accept your proposal! The first thing you ever said to me was to offend and demean me! We barely had a civil conversation. Now only do I get accepted in the Company- and you spring something like this on me! Without any warning- without even befriending me at first! We barely know each other-" there had been more of that, said in the same spirit. But it all began and ended with their first encounter.
His heart torn asunder, a strange sensation welling up somewhere low down inside him to leap up to the surface in a passionate escape- Thorin hadn't been able to endure it any further. "You have made your opinion on the subject quite clear, Miss Baggins. I apologize for taking up your time, and bid you a good night."
He hadn't gone inside until she had left, for it was pitch dark and devastated as he was- Thorin hadn't been of the mind to leave his One out there on her own. When she slipped away indoors with quiet footfalls that only a Hobbit could manage, he followed her wake.
There was moisture in his eyes which he furiously rubbed away with his hands. It was not until he had stepped inside his room unsteadily did Thorin forlornly subside into a huge mahogany seat placed by the window, from which faint moonlight streamed inside, and he tried vainly to gather himself for he felt it surely coming. The sob he had been fighting a losing battle with, refused to be beaten.
Up and up, it forced its way till at last the Dwarf gave up the struggle and cried freely and helplessly now that he knew it was all over for him and he lost what he could hardly have said to have found.
And while he was reduced to this state of misery, she too was in her room lying miserably on her bed with pearly tears making their way down hers eyes in a steady stream.
He wasn't able to sleep all night long, the one night they were supposed to get rest and momentarily let go of the worries of what future might have in store for them. She cried and cried until no more tears would form in her puffy eyes, and then had drifted off into a restless slumber.
He had offended her. And she shattered his heart in return.