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Chapter Text

This was one of those days when Sae Itoshi’s hatred for school reigned over his usual rationality.

Walking rapidly but not quite running, his long strides made their way to the back of Saint Sebastian Academy. He silently huffed and calmly fixed his necktie, which felt more suffocating than normal. The sun irritated him a little more, too, reminding him of how late he is for his classes, which is why he needed to exert more effort and use the closed-off back gate of his school that no one uses. A bead of sweat threatened to fall from his forehead as he swiftly turned right. Sae can now see the back of his pristine white and light blue painted school.

At this time, Sae began to jog. In his peripheral vision was another school with a comically stark difference from where he was enrolled. Its gates were rusty, and the buildings’ paint was peeling off. It is small compared to theirs, and he could even hear students yelling from where he was. He glanced momentarily at one of their buildings and saw multiple students outside their classrooms, and paid them no mind.

He almost rolled his eyes. That was the local public high school, which has a notorious and dark reputation. It was funny, he thought, how close his catholic school was to a school that was described as hellish.

Sae’s legs slowed down when he was only two blocks away from his school’s back gate, when he noticed a tanned boy standing in front of the wall just beside the gate and looking at it as if closely scrutinizing something. Only a look from his almost tattered uniform with paint stains told him that he was from their unfortunate neighbor school. The boy’s hair was annoyingly bright, too, with the blonde mixing with the hot pink at the ends. His left eyebrow rises. What is that boy doing here?

The moment he reached where the boy was, his feet immediately came to a halt when he noticed what he was staring at. Sae's eyes darted from the wall to the boy, and from the boy to the wall. He just noticed that the boy was, in fact, holding a can of spray paint and that there were also a few cans lying around his feet. For a few seconds, he stared at the wall without saying anything. Sae’s eye twitched at the sight of the added painting to his school’s wall.

It was a stark naked portrait of a tied Saint Sebastian, his dick obviously exaggerated and his face contorted to that of pleasure. A bunch of graffiti splats were also present here and there, and some text he could not read.

The boy then turned his head to him with a wide grin. “Neat, huh? Catholic boy,” he blurted proudly, which made Sae look at him. “First time seeing another man’s cock?”

The blank face of Sae’s did not change even with the boy’s jest. He eyed the graffiti once more and walked past its artist without looking back.

“Hey, wait!” the boy caught up to him. “At least tell me what you think of my art, baby !”

Once again, Sae stopped walking. He is already in front of his school’s back gate, which was a lot shabbier than its front. A bunch of broken-down chairs in the back of a building can be seen from his view, as well as the grass that was already too tall for a school. He clicked his tongue upon the thought of having to walk through them later.

Sae sighed lightly and turned to the boy, who was still talking about his alleged art. “I don’t give a fuck,” he uttered straightforwardly. The boy was taken aback.

“Wh– Are you even allowed to say fuck , Catholic Boy?!” he yelled scandalously and laughed heartily. “Won’t God punish you for your sins?!”

Sae climbed the gate and stopped at the top to gauge where he would land. His eyes glanced at the boy momentarily. “So? I don’t give a fuck.”

He jumped effortlessly from the top of the gate to inside his school. Lightly dusting his black leather shoes, he mumbled silently, “I’m not even Catholic.”

Sae proceeded to go towards one of the buildings silently, ignoring the boy’s loud yells from outside the gate. He checked the time on his wristwatch; it was already halfway through his second class. Shit.

While running towards his classroom, he thought of his encounter earlier—of how great the portrait was, more than he would like to admit, and how its artist also looked as good with his tanned skin and half-opened white uniform with nothing underneath.

“Shit,” Sae cursed under his breath.

The said tanned boy, however, was now collecting his canned spray paints into his shabby black bag with a rip in the sides. He was a little dazed.

“And here I thought the students of THAT school were goody two-shoes…” he grinned.

Like Sae expected, the painting became the talk of his school for the next few days. The back gate became a popular spot for students after classes, who previously did not even know that a back gate existed. It irked Sae that his passage is now known and that it will be tightly guarded sooner. He was so sure that the school’s management already knew of it and that they would take drastic actions to catch the vandal who dared tarnish their holy school ground. Sae almost rolled his eyes at the thought. He began to leave his classroom while carrying his school bag on his left shoulder.

“Yo!” A boy snaked his arm around his shoulders. “You coming to see the portrait of our patron saint now?”

Sae shrugged off the arm on his shoulder and cast a side glance to his classmate before walking off. “Don’t touch me, Aiku.”

Aiku had dark purple hair with green tips, which Sae was sure was longer and messier beyond the school’s regulations on student appearances. He also had heterochromia, which he was tempted to gauge whenever he pissed him off. Today was apparently one of the rare days when Aiku wore a necktie, and it is loose. 

“Aye, aye,” Aiku laughed. “But you have to see it in person at least once. It will be painted off tomorrow!”

His eyebrow rose. So it will get taken down tomorrow. What a waste .

“I have seen it on the internet already. Knock it off,” he dismissed Aiku while heading towards the exit of the school gate. Sae ruminates on when he will be able to use the back of the school again as an entrance. 

Upon setting foot outside, he suddenly noticed a familiar face from across the road, who was sitting outside a convenience store and looking around as if looking for someone. His face fell immediately when he realized who that boy was. Fuck was he doing here?

As if on instinct, he briskly walked towards his right, where his house is headed and hid his face by looking in the opposite direction of where the boy was. Sae doesn’t know why he was hiding, but he’s doing it. He pretended the boy didn’t exist.

“ITOSHI SAE! Wait for me!” Aiku yelled loudly from behind, but Sae did not stop and instead accelerated. 

His classmate accelerated too. “Don’t leave me! Hey!” That fucking runt.

Sae began running, and the confused runt ran too while questioning him repeatedly and loudly. He refused to answer any of them properly.

“Fuck are you running for, Itoshi?!”

“None of your business, runt. Why are you even following me?”

“This ass… I live across your house!”

“I don’t care. Leave.”

“Y’all racing? Lemme join!” an (unfortunately) familiar voice joined their senseless conversation. This made Sae stop in his tracks.

“The fuck?” he mumbled under his breath. Before he even looked back, the shameless intruder clinged himself to his back.

“Caught you!” he snickered mischievously. “So you’re Sae? Cute!”

Before he even reacted, Aiku already caught up to them. He crouched his back and held his knees while breathing heavily. “What–who’s this? I didn’t know you had a friend, Sae.”

“No–”

“I’m Shidou Ryusei, the artist of that famous artwork behind your school,” Ryusei stated proudly. “Awesome, no?”

Aiku gasped lightly. “For real? No fucking way, dude.”

“For real,” Ryusei laughed. He looked at Sae while still clinging to him, meeting his icy glare. “And under lashes senior here’s my first fan.”

The purple head’s eyebrows met. “What d’ya mean?”

“He saw it first.”

“Oh?” Aiku replied with a hint of interest in his voice. There was a smirk on his face when he looked at Sae.

Sae finally shrugged Ryusei off without saying anything. He stared at the two blankly. “Are we done here? I’m leaving.”

“I’ll follow you, Sae-chan!” Ryusei exclaimed. “To the depths of hell!”

The redhead sighed lightly and began walking. “...Do what you want.”

“YAY!”

Sae went home with Aiku on his left and Ryusei on his right. The two hit it off quickly, while he only answered minimally when asked questions. Along the way, Aiku asked Ryusei if he knew that his painting would be painted off tomorrow, to which Ryusei just shrugged. He told him he was even surprised his “masterpiece” lasted that long. The sun was setting when they reached Aiku and Sae’s houses. 

“I’ll get your autograph soon, Shidou!” Aiku joked while closing the gate of his house. 

Ryusei answered, “There’s no free lunch, Snake boy!” 

The two idiots laughed until Aiku closed the door to his house. Sae opened the gate of his house without warning and stepped a foot inside.

“Bye bye, Sae!” Ryusei piped up. He did not say anything and proceeded to come inside, but the blonde boy repeated his words, only louder and with more emphasis.

“Bye bye, SAE!”

Sae thought for a second. “Bye,” he greeted back without looking. Before closing the gate completely, however, Ryusei bid him goodbye once more, and even more vigorously than the second one.

“BYE BYE, SAE!”

This prompted the redhead to open the gate slightly and see Ryusei waiting expectantly outside, his hands still waving at him. He looked at him for a few seconds before finally sighing and shaking his head. 

“...Bye, Ryusei.”

Ryusei beamed brightly at his words. Sae felt like looking away. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sae-chan!”

He just nodded and closed the gate. When he turned around, his younger brother was leaning on their door frame with a cold stare.

“Who’s that? Your boyfriend?” Rin asked. Sae only glanced at him as if to motion him to move aside.

“Who knows,” he replied flatly before going in. 

“Seriously?” Rin responded with disgust while he was removing his shoes. He can’t see his brother’s face in his position, but he could almost imagine how contorted his face is right now. Sae didn’t bother to reply.

“I’m home, Mom, Dad,” he greeted a little late. 

Sae passed through the altar just beside their stairs before going to his room upstairs. Opening his room, he set aside his bag first before showering. After doing so, he collapsed on his bed. He stared at his ceiling for a while. The four walls of his bedroom always felt too wide for him, perhaps a little reminder of his solitude. His eyes then shifted to the pictures and posters of patron saints his mother posted on his walls. He didn’t bother to take them down. They reminded him of his naivety. Sae sometimes felt like going back to those days when he still believed that swearing to God was the truth.

“Sae, Rin, dinner’s ready!”

He silently got up and went down to eat. Sae sat down beside their father, and Rin sat across from him beside their mother, as per their usual arrangement. Upon sitting down, their mother began to pray. They all did the sign of the cross and closed their eyes except for Sae, who looked at his family blankly. As he gazed around the dining area, his eyes met his younger brother’s. Both of them averted their eyes and sat there quietly until their parents finished praying. It has always been like this for years now. Sae didn’t know when Rin stopped praying, but he couldn't care less.

Sae did the sign of the cross once again before eating. It was easier like this.

The next morning, Sae’s head almost hurt immediately when he saw two people waiting by their gate. Aiku and Ryusei were talking loudly when he reached them, and their equally loud greeting irked Sae, who didn’t feel like going to school. The three of them walked together, and like yesterday, he remained mostly quiet throughout. He soon noticed, while walking, that Ryusei was closer to him as their shoulders were touching the whole time, but the boy did not seem to notice. The redhead decided to ignore his antics.

“I’ll be off here,” Ryusei pointed at the street opposite theirs. “It’d be nice if you went the same way, but I know your holier-than-thou school already guarded the back gate VERY tightly.”

Aiku laughed at the way he worded his sentence. “Bye, Michelangelo.”

The blonde nodded at him and looked at Sae. “I’ll see you, Sae.”

He just looked at Ryusei silently for a few seconds before speaking, “Okay.”

Ryusei glanced at him meaningfully with a smile and proceeded to walk on his own, his steps bouncing lightly as he did so. The two stared at his back for a moment before going off.

“He definitely likes you, bro,” Aiku stated matter-of-factly.

“Sure,” Sae responded coolly, which prompted Aiku to nudge his shoulder.

“Oi, aren’t ya surprised even a little?”

“No.”

“Cold!” the purple head roared. “But would you date him?”

Sae did not answer and quickened his steps. He acted as if Aiku did not exist, like he always did whenever he did not feel like talking, or he just didn’t like the person he was with. Both were true for this case, however.

Much ahead of his classmate, Sae thought of what the runt said to him earlier. He pretended not to notice the warmth in his chest.

His body comfortably leaning against the sofa, Sae’s lackluster eyes shifted to meet his younger brother’s narrowed eyes. Seething, Rin stood tall in front of him, standing in the way of the television he was previously watching. He just got back home from school due to his organization. Neither of them spoke for a few moments until Rin finally broke.

“Fuck is your boyfriend on?” he asked, spatting each word like it’s poison.

“What boyfriend?” Sae feigned ignorance. He knew who Rin was talking about.

“The damn blonde,” Rin replied. 

“Ah.”

“He was pestering me just moments ago. Told me he wanted to get along with me and shit because you’re my brother,” he told him. Sae simply listened. “I didn’t want to. Then he told me he was the fucker who painted that obscene vandalism near the back gate.”

Rin inhaled loudly, his veins almost popping up on his forehead. 

“Do you know how much hell the management gave the student council because of that bastard?!” he cursed loudly. 

Sae tried and kept his face straight, sitting straighter on the sofa. He nudged Rin’s shin with his foot as an attempt to calm him down. “That is why I told you not to go for the student council.”

“Yeah, sure, but that’s not the point!” Rin yelled, still controlling the loudness of his voice. “The point is that your—whatever the hell he is to you—is insufferable, and it doesn’t look like he’ll stop being insufferable anytime soon. Tell him to stop bothering me and NEVER set foot on our school.”

Rin was breathing heavily when he finished talking. Sae, on the other hand, has his attention on the television that Rin was blocking. By the sound of it, the commercial break is already finished, and the rerun of Chibi Maruko-chan is already showing. Time to end this talk.

“Then tell the principal or whoever that he’s the one who painted Saint Sebastian naked,” he said straightforwardly.

“You don’t care if he’s caught?” Rin looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“Not really,” he replied nonchalantly. Sae knew, though, that catching Ryusei wouldn’t be easy. 

Rin clenched his jaw. “That’s the problem, actually. School is sweeping it under the rug. They don’t want to be criticized for their lapses. As much as possible, they don’t want to associate with that school in any way, either. And the blame is already on us, so.”

Without giving much thought, Sae only replied with an “oh”. This was getting annoying. His ears are only focused on the playing show, and he couldn’t care less about his brother’s complaints. Since when was Rin such a damn yapper, anyway? And at an important time too.

“Then–”

“Move,” the redhead simply stated. “I’m watching TV.”

His younger brother moved quickly enough and looked at the television screen too. “So there was a rerun…”

“Yeah,” Sae’s body relaxed once again on the sofa, falling sideways to a pillow.

Rin sighed. “Just tell the blonde to fuck off already, Nii-chan.”

“Sure,” Sae replied mindlessly, his attention already absorbed by the show.

“And we won’t be telling on him, even though I want to put him in a cage, so don’t worry. But stop hanging out-–”

“I got it already, yapper boy,” the redhead dismissed his younger brother and shooed him away. “Now go. You stink.”

Rin sniffed his uniform, “I literally do not.”

“You so do.”

“Asshat.”

If there was anything Sae learned the past month, it was that Ryusei was relentless as hell. He did not stop bothering him daily–not even once. He was consistent from the mornings he went to his house so that they could walk to school together and in the afternoons so that he’d accompany him to his house. Every time they did so, his skinship with him increased. Just like that, he made his way to Sae’s routine. And worst of all? Sae did not mind.

Why was Ryusei trying so hard to get close to him, anyway?

It was the weekend, and in Sae’s mind, it would perhaps be a break from Ryusei. But he was wrong; he thought of him while he was getting ready and putting up his white button-up shirt and his black cardigan. He thought of him while he was riding in the back of his family’s car to church. He thought of him while sitting down in the wooden pew, staring at the altar, waiting for the mass to start.

So what are the odds of Ryusei materializing beside him in a Catholic mass? Low. But never zero .

“Hi,” Ryusei greeted from his left side, leaning forward as he faced him. “Nice cardigan.”

Sae stared at him, dumbfoundedly. What is he doing here?

In his peripheral vision, he could see Rin from his left looking at him and Ryusei back and forth with a confused and disgusted expression. “Hey, what are you–”

“Shh, li’l bro, the mass is starting,” the blonde motioned to his little brother to be quiet. This irritated Rin, and he was about to retort, but he heard the bells ring and was forced to stay silent.

Everyone stood up from their seats and watched as the priest and the ministers walked up to the altar, but Sae’s eyes were fixed elsewhere. He stared at him for a long while without even bothering to hide it, trying to digest that he was really beside him. Ryusei wore a black long-sleeve shirt and black jeans, the rips on his top not escaping Sae’s gaze.

“I’m gonna melt if you stare at me like that, Sae-chan,” Ryusei whispered abashedly while grinning.

“Ah,” was the only thing Sae managed to reply. He ripped his eyes from Ryusei hesitantly and directed them to the front, pretending to focus as the choir’s voice reverberated throughout the church. He could feel his focus flying off as he stole glances to his side, not knowing what to think, really.

How did Ryusei even know they would go here? Or does he actually go to Church?

Normally, Sae would zone out whenever they went on Sundays, but now his mind was preoccupied by the person beside him, who looked like he was actually listening to the priest’s homily. Truthfully, though, if Ryusei wasn’t there, Sae had a feeling he would still think about him regardless. Just what is Ryusei’s goal here?

Soon, everyone was kneeling on the kneeler while praying. Ryusei has his eyes closed as he keeps his palms together, while Sae only pretends to do the same, his eyes open while looking at the former sideways. When Ryusei finished praying, he looked away and sighed. There was no use in overthinking.

This is Ryusei, after all. There isn’t a part of him that’s predictable. Even in his routine walk with him, he always witnesses something new about the guy.

When the mass finished, Rin was still glaring at the blonde. Ryusei, however, didn’t seem to notice. While the people started leaving their seats, Ryusei quickly got up and went to their parents.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi!” he greeted the two energetically with a huge smile. “I’m Shidou Ryusei, the one waiting for Sae-chan by the gate every morning, if you noticed.”

Both his parents stared at him for a moment before his mother finally replied, “My, nice to meet you, Shidou-kun. Our Sae usually leaves early, so we barely even noticed. It’s unusual, though,” Mrs. Itoshi sweeps a glance at Ryusei from head to toe before smiling. “I didn’t know our Sae had a friend like you.”

Sae met his mother’s momentary glance after her statement. He hated this side of hers. He knew her too well and far too long to understand that she disliked Ryusei, which irritated him.

“Let’s go, mother, father. Everyone’s leaving,” he interrupted with a blank face. Rin was staring at him intently. 

“Is that so? Well…” Mrs. Itoshi gave an apologetic smile. “We’ll go now, Shidou-kun.”

“Oh, sure! I will be going too, Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi… and Rin,” Ryusei politely bowed to them, still with a grin, which their mother only smiled at while their father nodded as a reply. Rin only rolled his eyes.

Ryusei turned his eyes to him right after, somehow feeling a little different from how he looked at his parents. He smiled brightly while waving his right hand. “I’ll see you, Sae-chan.”

Sae met his warm gaze and responded, “See you, Ryusei.”

“Take care!”

“Sure.”

It was silent when they walked to their car and when they got in. Halfway through, her mother spoke with a grave tone, which Sae had already anticipated. Her performative smile is already gone, and only knitted eyebrows and a disapproving scowl remain on her face.

“Is that really your friend, Sae?” she asked. “He looks like he’s up to no good. How did you even meet him? There’s no way he’s admitted to Saint Sebastian. I mean, just look at him. Who would go to church with those ripped clothes?” she sighs loudly and shakes her head, “Kids these days. May God help them.”

Sae could have sworn he was already desensitized to his parents’ occasional hypocrisy and judgment, but today he just felt more irritated than usual. He tightly shut his mouth and looked outside the window, his fingers clawing on his knees. 

“Sae, you need to choose your friends wisely,” his father spoke, which made him look in front and meet his gaze momentarily. His father was the first to look away as he was driving. “After all, you are who you hang out with.”

Sae could feel his throat dry. With his mouth tasting like rust, a word was all he mustered as a reply. “...Sure.”

It was easier this way. Still, he felt the need to disobey, like he always did. He barely followed his parents all these years and was used to disregarding them behind their backs, just enough so they wouldn’t notice, and he’d feel satisfied. This was nothing new. 

But he felt as if this was something bigger. As if this would turn out in ways he wouldn’t expect.

Ryusei and Sae’s walking together streak ended when Sae had to compete outside the school. He didn’t bother to tell the former about it. He saw no reason to do so. He stopped thinking about anything except the contest, like he always did whenever he had to join one. Easy. They weren’t even that close.

Sae’s blank face remained throughout the duration of the three-day out-of-town competition, even until he received first place and stepped on the tallest podium. It was a science exhibition, which his teacher forced him to join. It wasn’t like Sae actually liked science–or anything, for that matter. He does things solely because he can, and why not? It would not hurt him.

His schoolmates and teacher coaches gathered around him as soon as he stepped off the stage. Sighing, he looked down at the middle of his chest where the gold was dangling. It was shining brighter due to the sunset’s orange light shining on it. For everyone else, it would be beautiful. For him, however, it is the usual. Sae didn’t bother answering his schoolmates’ questions and praises. It was all a blur for him at this time, his mind focused on the relief that it’s already done.

Suddenly, a loud motorcycle reverberated from the outside, even louder than the speakers in the conference hall. The noise pulled Sae out of his reverie, his eyes turning to the transparent windows immediately. A few seconds passed, and his feet were already moving on their own, and he was already sweeping against the crowd to get to the door. He heard the people from school calling out to his name, but he didn’t bother looking back at any of them. Even Sae doesn’t understand why he was rushing to the door right after hearing the noise. 

The moment he opened the door, his blank face finally wavered. His mouth opened a little in surprise at what he saw. It was Ryusei in an all-black outfit, wearing a leather jacket. He was sitting on a big motorcycle with a huge headlight, his right hand carrying the helmet to his waist. His appearance was totally in contrast to the minimalistic, modern architecture of the technological high school they are currently in. The moment their eyes met, Ryusei cracked a huge smile.

“Congrats, Sae-chan!” he greeted him. “I know you’re the best.”

Sae slowly walked towards him. He was just about to open his mouth to ask questions when Ryusei put his finger up in front of him.

“Nuh-uh. We ARE celebrating today,” Ryusei stressed. 

“No, how did–”

“I didn’t know anything. But Aiku told me you were here, and I believe you will win. Always did,” the blonde cut him off. He then grinned, “Even if you didn’t, I will make it so you’d feel like you’re the winner.”

Sae squinted his eyes and caught the helmet Ryusei tossed him. The moment he did, he heard his teachers calling his name, telling him to come back as the program hadn't finished just yet. But the redhead acted like he didn’t hear anything. Instead, he wore the helmet almost with no hesitation and jumped behind Ryusei on the motorcycle. His schoolmates became noisier, but the only thing Sae was hearing was the rush of his blood and the sound of the motorcycle’s engine.

It was more comfortable than the claps inside that hall. The two of them took off noisily, which was an unusual sight at such a prestigious school, but Sae had never felt this peaceful after a contest.

Soon, Sae held onto Ryusei’s shoulder. It was easier , he thought.

It was nearly evening when the two reached the place Ryusei was planning to take him to. It is the river control in the outskirts of their town, and this is Sae’s first time going near it. Climbing the gray stairs, the view of the river slowly descends upon them.

“I’m–”

“It’s fine,” Sae quipped. He had a feeling of what the blonde would say, and it seemed like he was right with the way Ryusei scratched the back of his head as a reply. 

The cold wind blew right after they reached the top of the structure. With the clear river flowing calmly and the town lights starting to turn on one by one, Sae took in the serene scene before them before sitting down.

“Congratulations again,” Ryusei said as he sat in Indian style.

“Mhm. Thanks,” Sae acknowledged him.

“Brought you here because I thought you wouldn’t like it as much if there were a lot of people around.”

“You’re not wrong.”

The blonde then opened his black sling bag and rummaged inside while Sae leveled his breathing, the evening wind cooling him down. It did not bother the redhead that it was getting colder by the minute.

“I have something for you,” Ryusei spoke again, his voice lower than usual. This prompted Sae to look over him without tilting his head to face him. He simply waited for the boy to finish rummaging through his bag.

“Close your eyes first.”

“The hell?” Sae replied instinctively, his eyebrows knitting immediately. “Just give it here.”

“No,” Ryusei whined, elongating the “o” unnecessarily. “You're killing the element of surprise!”

“You said it first. How will I be surprised when I already know that you have something for me beforehand?”

The blonde clicked his tongue. “Why’d you have to be so smart…”

“Are you saying something?”

“Nah,” he shook his head lightly with an amused smile. “That’s what makes you charming.”

Sae only raised his right eyebrow in curiosity. Ryusei then blinked repeatedly as if showing his glassy eyes off and displayed a sad pout.

“But please, close your eyes,” he requested in an awfully high-pitched voice. “For me?”

Sae snorted. He decided to humor the boy and closed his eyes. He fought the urge to peek when he heard Ryusei shuffling. 

“You can open them now.”

He slowly opened his eyes. His pupils almost crossed because of the thing displayed closely in front of his face. It almost touched his nose. Shifting from his seat a little, he finally realized what it was: a small plushie of Chibi Maruko-chan. It was a little wonky, but it was still identifiable because of her bangs and blush. Sae silently took the plush from Ryusei.

“You made this?”

“Yes. Cute, ain’t it? It’s my first time,” Ryusei chuckled. “Aiku told me you like the anime.”

“I don’t like it that much,” Sae denied, but he, caressing Maruko-chan’s felt hair very gently, gave him away. He was already treating the small plush like his child. 

The blonde only grinned. “If you say so.”

“Also,” the redhead puts the plush down momentarily and turns his head to Ryusei. “Why not ask me?”

“Huh?”

“Why not ask me about myself?” he repeated. “You always ask Aiku when it’s about me. That runt doesn't know shit.”

Ryusei remained silent, which was unusual. He was just staring at Sae, his mouth open a little as if he were in awe.

“Well?”

“Oh–sure,” he finally replied. “Then… What's your favorite movie?”

“Taxi driver.”

“Favorite subject?”

“I don’t know.”

“Favorite season?”

“End of summer.”

“Blood type?”

Sae thought for a second. “A.”

“What would you do with a hundred million yen?”

The redhead’s mouth hangs open at the question. What? That was random.  “Not interested.”

Ryusei, with a grin on his face, shifts closer to him. “Why?”

“It’s a small amount of money.”

The two looked at each other for a second before Ryusei burst into a pit of laughter. He started slapping his knee and crouching while laughing.

“You rich boy!” he exclaimed and reached for Sae to slap his arm.

“Watch it,” Sae dodged, but the blonde was still laughing.

It took a few minutes before he finally settled down. It seemed like Sae’s tiredness for the day already made its way to him, rendering him unwilling to speak or strike up a conversation. He closed his eyes and inhaled the cold breeze. He could feel his back muscles relaxing and the tension going away instantly.

The two of them sat there silently for what felt like an hour. In silence, Sae would usually zone out and be preoccupied with his own thoughts. But this evening, he was aware of everything outside of him–how the cold breeze touched his skin, how the river reflected the town light and the night sky, how soft the plushie he was given was, and how comfortable the presence of the boy was beside him. Sae knew he liked being alone. But this serenity… how should he call it?

His eyes shifted to Ryusei, who had his eyes closed while facing upwards. His lips curved slightly upwards while his chest was heaving lightly. His tanned skin was illuminated by the moonlight just right.  His blonde hair was getting messed up by the wind, and the strands in his face swept to the side. Sae studied his features intently. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to fix Ryusei’s hair.

He is beautiful. The curves on his neck moved as he adjusted his head, while his Adam’s apple bobbed up when he swallowed. The crook of his collarbone was slightly peeking through his black shirt, and the only thing Sae could think of was what it would be like to feel them with his hands. He thought of Ryusei’s shoulders as his eyes swept through the m covered under a leather jacket. He had broad ones, much like his, but broader. Nicer. His mind wanders again. Will putting his arms around them warm him up?

When Ryusei opened his eyes, Sae immediately looked away, hoping his blank face would hide the hammering in his chest. He clenched his fists on his side.

Ryusei stretched his arms. “Shall we go home now, Sae-chan?’

Sae did not dare look at him again. His eyes were fixed on the river, avoiding the boy. It would be easier for him to avert his gaze than face him.

Right?

“Sure.”

It was silent when they headed towards Sae’s home, which he was thankful about. His mind was already a mess, and conversing with the reason why would make it worse. When Ryusei dropped him off at his place, he finally spoke.

“Thanks.”

Ryusei smiled. “You’re always welcome, Sae-chan.”

For a few moments, the two just stared at one another. It was Sae who broke it by turning his body away to face the gate.

“Wait,” the blonde suddenly stopped him, which made the redhead halt. Ryusei then hopped off his motorcycle and walked towards him.

“Actually, there’s one more thing I was gonna give ya earlier…” he started, his voice considerably meeker than usual. He started rummaging in his bag again. This time, he pulled out a paper folded in half.

“I was debating whether to give you this or not, but, well,” Ryusei continued, his words coming out more quickly than intended. When Sae received the paper, he almost bolted out and rode his motorcycle.

“Goodbye, Sae-chan!” he bids his farewell, flustered, which Sae finally catches on.

With a ghost of a smile playing on his lips, Sae answered.

“I’ll see you, Ryusei.”

Even more flustered than before, Ryusei finally went ahead on his own. Sae then finally opened the paper, and his breath hitched when he did. It was a charcoal portrait of him while he was writing something. It was not as detailed as the hyperrealism drawings were, but just enough to capture the serene expression he never knew he had. Ryusei drew him so beautifully, giving him awareness of his own features. 

Does Ryusei see him in this way?

Clutching the paper, he felt as though he did not deserve such a precious thing. He finally opened the gate and walked towards their door. What has he done to be viewed like this, anyway?

Sae only stood by their door. He knew that if he came in, whatever he felt earlier would vanish in an instant. Coming home, after all, was always like going back to reality for him. It has been for the longest time. He thought he was used to it by now. However, he was stuck outside for minutes, trying to grasp the lingering feelings he felt earlier.

Soon, he knew he had to come inside. Just like what he was expecting, his parents immediately bombarded him with questions and unsolicited lessons. He ignored all of them and went to his room silently. They just had to remind him that he was going to college in five months, and that his choice of friends was awful.

When he closed the door to his room, he immediately sat down on his bed and opened the portrait once again. Contrary to what he previously thought, he felt the same fluttery and warm feeling in his chest once again. His head felt light, and his stomach was all in knots.

His throat dried. He doesn’t like this. He could almost feel a headache coming.

Sae lay on his bed. What the fuck does he do in this situation?

“Yeah, right. So what IS the problem?”

Ryusei stomped his hands on his shabby wooden desk that was too small for him. “You don’t get it, dumbass! Megs, I love you, bro and allat , but you do NOT understand romance!”

Bachira Meguru, his friend, moved his chair closer to him and yelled, “Then why are you asking ME?!”

“Because you are ALL I have!”

“Bro…” Meguru pretended to be teary-eyed and tapped Ryusei’s shoulder. His button-up uniform, like Ryusei's, is open all the way with his striped shirt peeking out. His short black hair is tied low at the back, the blonde part of his hair exposed underneath.

“Quiet, boys at the back!” their teacher yelled from the front, but the two did not care, and neither did their other classmates. It was another normal day in the Lopez National High School, and like always, barely any of the students cared about the academics.

Ryusei sighed exaggeratedly. “What I was saying is that his reactions were still lukewarm. Like if I got hit by a bus right now, he would probably just shrug it off or something.”

Meguru looked at him in disbelief and let it linger for a few seconds. “...Are we deadass?”

“I’m serious!”

“Your Sae’s reactions are NOTHING but lukewarm, bro!” Meguru emphasized. “I don’t know if your homosexuality is making you blind or whatever, but trust me, he will probably carry your casket if ever you get hit by a bus and even bury you himself.”

“Nah, he’s not like that,” Ryusei said miserably. “He won’t even go to my wake, bro. Not even once.”

Meguru placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Don’t worry, bro. I will be beside your casket 24/7. I will drag him out of his corny ass school and make him go.”

Ryusei looked at him, teary-eyed. “Bro…”

As if on cue, the two suddenly heard their teacher scream. “Mr. Bachira and Mr. Shidou! Get out! NOW!”

Without any protests, the two went out of the classroom, and instead of remaining by the door, they immediately walked towards the school canteen. 

“But like, seriously, it seems to me like Mr. Nonchalant Redhead is actually catching feelings for you. I don’t get why you want to do more,” Meguru uttered while tinkering with his worn-out school ID.

“Dude, I just feel like he can toss me away anytime, ya know? The bus stuff earlier is exaggerated, sure, but I don’t think it’s far from real life,” Ryusei mumbled, walking backwards. He chuckled halfheartedly, “I mean, I just popped into his life. Who do I think I am?”

“What do you want then?”

Ryusei hummed silently. “I just want to be somebody to Sae, I think.”

Silence ensued between the two of them for a few moments until Meguru suddenly looked over to him with wide eyes and a grin. 

“Woahhh . That’s some deep shit over there. I didn’t know you were capable of that!”

He wrapped his arm around Ryusei’s shoulder and brought him down to his height. He then messed his hair up. “That’s my bro! The greatest artist ever !”

His friend’s antics made Ryusei laugh. He tickled Meguru’s side, which made him let go of his hair and squirm. Both of them were giggling when they reached their school canteen, and Ryusei could almost feel his rib hurt from laughing too much. 

“What if you sneak into the Catholic school?” Meguru suddenly suggested while panting.

Ryusei hesitated. “Isn’t that too much?”

“What,” Meguru mumbled. “When was ‘too much’ a thing for you? You vandalized the school already!”

“Yeah, but no one actually goes to that part of the school until recently. No one even passes by there. Except for him when he’s late.”

Meguru sighed. “You wouldn’t have to do all of these if you had just normally approached him way, WAY back then.”

“You–you’re not wrong,” Ryusei admitted.

His friend shook his head while clicking his tongue. “You gay people will do everything except approach your crushes like a normal person. Who vandalizes a school two years later to have his crush notice him? Some crazy stuff if you ask me.”

“HEY—”

“Oh! YOICHI!” Meguru cut him off with a yell. He was now looking at a boy with bangs and blue eyes on the other side of the canteen who was sitting alone while eating. His friend is aggressively waving at the boy, his eyes brighter than normal. The students are now looking at Meguru, but he does not seem to notice a thing.

When Isagi Yoichi finally waved back at him, Meguru beamed brightly and went his way without missing a beat. “Well, just call me when you need me, bro!”

With squinted eyes, his gaze followed Meguru, who was now sitting beside Isagi. It was a little strange sight; a prim and proper boy who obviously belongs to the star section hanging out with someone like Meguru, who is notorious for cutting classes and doing stuff unthinkable for those in the higher sections. Meguru was now pinching Isagi’s cheek while the latter was telling him to stop, while chuckling. And this dumbass was speaking of approaching crushes like a normal person…

Ryusei huffed and paid the turon he picked to the canteen lady. Whatever will be, will be.

Sae felt like he was going insane for weeks now. 

He has always looked forward to when the classes are ending, but now he has another reason to anticipate the day to end. He doesn’t feel as bad about dragging himself in the morning because he knows someone will be outside his gate, waiting patiently. He has been learning about this someone against his will, and now he is reminded of him in things he did not care about before. He thought of him whenever he saw pink; he thought of him whenever he walked past the garden of his neighbor, which had these pretty yellow hibiscus with a pink center in it, and he thought just how he would react if he were to tuck one in his ear.

The redhead did not feel like himself. Not one bit. It was uncomfortable for him to be feeling this way, but he almost sees no one whenever he’s with the guy. Of course, he was not so dumb as not to know what his experiences indicate. But he knew it would complicate things, and Sae wasn’t the type to go through hardships when he could choose convenience. 

Hence, he has been busying himself more than ever. It has been a while since he hung out properly with Ryusei. The strongest excuse he gave him was that he was studying for college entrance tests, which he was not interested in doing seriously, but the boy believed him anyway. There was an unsettling feeling whenever he said no, and whenever Ryusei’s expression dropped whenever he said so but still tried to cheer up regardless. It was stupid. It was cute .

Sae shook his head. It was noon. When the bells rang throughout their school, the students stopped in their tracks and stood up as if in reflex. They silently listened to the Angelus prayer broadcast on the speakers.

“The angel of the Lord declared to Mary…”

Sae stood with nonchalance. He was about to stand up anyway to get his lunch from the school canteen. He wondered which meals they would be offering today and hoped it was not so horrible, like the meal he got almost a week before, which Ryusei claimed he liked. There was a weird, warm feeling inside of him when he remembered the boy. Sae’s gaze wandered around momentarily in the still and serene classroom. This only happens during prayers and whenever his teachers are mad.

When Sae laid his eyes outside the classroom, his left eye twitched when he saw something out of the ordinary, and unfortunately, it was someone familiar. Thinking that he might be hallucinating because of how much he had thought about the guy recently, he blinked thrice. Sae’s eyes widened, and his heart dropped when he confirmed that the blonde was actually just outside his classroom.

Ryusei, seemingly unaware, was walking and turning his head around in different directions as if looking for something. His bright hair popped amidst the school’s monotone colors, and he was the only one Sae could see at the moment. Ryusei walked closer to their jalousie windows, and his eyes looked around the room. When their gazes met, a smile immediately made its way to his face. Sae felt his stomach ache from the inside.

Noticing how his confused classmates’ heads were turning to look at Ryusei, who was now waving at him, Sae signalled to him with his eyes to stop. At first, the blonde was confused, but soon understood what he was trying to relay. Ryusei then stood upright and did not move from his place; he even closed his eyes and brought his palms together as if he were praying. Sae sighed silently and closed his eyes, still feeling as if his heart was about to rise from his throat. Opening an eye, he saw Aiku from his peripheral vision, holding his stomach and his lips pursed as if holding a laugh, which he was bad at.

God, what was he doing here?

While the prayer continued, Sae’s thoughts were rushing to understand what Ryusei was thinking, sneaking into their school. He almost ignored how, because it was Ryusei, and anything is possible with him. But just why? To see him ? Aren’t they seeing each other after class anyway?

As soon as the broadcast ended, he immediately rushed towards Ryusei, who was now the spectacle of the class. Everyone went back to their businesses, and many curiously looked at the blonde, who was now waving at him again. When Sae reached him, he quickly grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the end of the hallway. 

“Hey, where are you going?!” Aiku yelled from behind them, which he did not pay attention to.

“Later, my guy!” Ryusei replied with a grin. Sae was irked by the way he called Aiku.

Aiku laughed, and his voice subsided as the two of them turned to go up the stairs. “Good luck, Michelangelo! Don’t die yet!”

While walking, Ryusei worried about Sae’s reaction. He thought of this countless times, but Sae in real life can be scary, especially when he’s too quiet, even though he has always been a quiet person. When they reached the second floor, Sae made a turn towards the comfort rooms and entered the men's CR. As soon as they got in, he locked the door and faced Ryusei, who swallowed when their eyes met.

“Speak,” Sae prompted quietly. He can feel his chest heaving up and down from how fast they reached the floor.

“Well…” Ryusei avoided his gaze and looked at the white floor and the ceiling instead. He was leaning against the lavatory, and Sae could see himself heaving from the wide mirror behind Ryusei. “I wanted to see you!”

“What?”

Sae sighed heavily, his calm demeanor faltering. His arms crossed over his chest, he pursed his lips silently. A frown made its way to his face. Does that mean he was willing to go through all of that just to see me?

His chest hurts again, and his stomach just flipped. Sae knows it was bad, and that what Ryusei just did is dangerous. But he liked it more than he wanted to admit. Sae stared at the blonde heavily, which seemingly made him squirm.

Meanwhile, the blonde was sweating because of his nervousness. He was scared that Sae would hate him for this. He was scared he would lose him for his stupid reason of sneaking into his school. What will he do then?

Licking his dried lips, Ryusei finally spoke. He babbled, “I know, we’ll meet later anyway, right? But like, it’s getting harder to see you these days. I understand that you’re busy and all. I get that! Tooootally understand that! But I thought maybe I could at least bother you in your lunchtime, but now I fucked up because anytime now I can get caught, but hey, at least I get to see y—”

“Enough. What's your point here?” Sae cuts him short. There was something he needed to hear more than these explanations.

Ryusei chuckled a little, fidgeting with his fingers and still avoiding his eyes. “I mean, maaaaybe you’d like to see me so I–”

“Really?”

Ryusei finally looked at Sae. He can feel his face and ears heating up while he does so. He watched Sae, who was expecting him to answer. There wasn’t a hint of anger on his face. It was calm, contrary to what he expected.

“What I’m saying is,” Ryusei began to speak. He sighed loudly to let out some steam and shifted to stand properly. 

“I missed you so bad .”

He observed Sae’s expression, which softened the moment he said those words. Sae’s teal eyes widened in surprise, and a rare, small smile formed on his lips. Ryusei could only stare at him in awe.

“You should’ve said so, idiot,” Sae reached out to him to pinch his cheek. “We could’ve hung out after classes.”

Ryusei spoke through a squeezed cheek. “But–”

“My review sessions aren’t that long anyway,”  he assures him. “I’d have made time for you.”

The blonde’s face brightened, which made Sae’s heart throb more. It has been a few moments since he calmed down, but his heart was still beating fast while he was watching Ryusei spill his excuses. He looked intently at Ryusei’s eyes.

“Calling the attention of the students, faculty, and the school staff of Saint Sebastian Academy. There has been an incident of an outsider who slipped inside the school premises illegally. The burglar is a male teenager wearing a white uniform identical to Saint Sebastian’s official school uniform. He is described as tall and tan, with blonde hair that has pink streaks. If seen, please report to the guards immediately. I repeat…”

“Oh shit,” Ryusei whispered when the speakers blared loudly from outside the CR. He walked towards the door quickly. “I gotta go, Sae-chan. I’m sorry for bothering—”

“Hey.”

Ryusei stopped when he heard Sae’s voice. It was lower than usual, which sent shivers down his spine. When he met his eyes, Ryusei was taken aback by how intense his gaze was. Sae, meanwhile, bites his lip while his blood rushes down.

This whole thing was undoubtedly stupid. He knows. He is rational, more so than other people his age. To slip inside another school illegally just because you miss someone is outrageous. Unreasonable . Nonsensical .

And Sae needed to confirm something. Now .

“Say,” he choked out, attempting to keep his face straight. “Can I kiss you?”

Ryusei’s mouth opened in surprise. What the hell? This can’t be real . A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. But seeing the urgency and desperation in Sae’s expression, he swallowed before finally answering hesitantly.

“...Yes.”

Sae wasted no time and pulled Ryusei’s face towards him, his hands resting on the sides of his jaw. His lips met with Ryusei's, and he slowly nipped on his lower lip, which the blonde attempted to reciprocate. Sae thought of his lips’ softness and how wet it was. Does this feel as good for him? Ryusei’s hands were now on Sae’s back, feeling his skin through his clean white uniform.  Soon, they were both frantic and desperate. Ryusei was leaning on the door while the two of them matched each other’s rhythm. The two of them were clumsy in their attempts to reach pleasure, but they both paid no mind to how inexperienced they were. They only cared about the fact that they were the only ones in that deserted comfort room, and that they were kissing each other.

In the midst of the pleasure he was not supposed to feel, Sae confirmed what he needed to confirm: he was just as stupid , outrageous , and unreasonable as Ryusei when it came to him. He wouldn’t kiss a guy in his own painfully catholic school if he were as logical as he thought he was.

Gripping the sides of Ryusei’s face and pulling him in an attempt to get impossibly close and biting down gently yet so desperately, Sae’s chest hurts with the way his heart pounded harshly beneath his ribs. He can feel the burn inside him, and he can hear the ringing in his head, telling him to stop. Yet he can’t. He won’t. Sae’s heart had never beaten as much as it did in this moment, and he had never felt so… alive . The monotony of his life just ended, and kissing Ryusei felt like everything he had shut down was bursting right inside of him. Sae swore he could feel the warmth from Ryusei’s hands much more, and every single thing felt more real. Genuine. And he was there . 

Sae wasn’t a straight-A student nor a fucking Itoshi at that time. He was no Catholic, and he certainly wasn’t a son of God. He simply was Sae, panting, awfully turned on, and making out with a pretty boy. At that moment, he was Ryusei’s . 

And God , why does that feel so right?

For all the times he could have removed Ryusei from his life, he never did anything—perhaps in the hopes that there would be something, anything , that would snap him out of his routine. And Ryusei did just that. Sae knew from the start that this was inconvenient. He knows it will not get easier from this point on, especially now that he admits everything he has been hiding from.

He likes Shidou Ryusei tremendously and irrevocably.

Sae Itoshi has never been this pissed in his whole life.

It has been five days since Ryusei’s tongue was just inside his mouth, and the boy has never appeared before him since. They didn’t get to talk much after the kiss due to time constraints, but Ryusei did kiss his cheek with a cute “ goodbye ”, “ see you ”, and a dazed, blushing, and smiling face like that of a drunkard. And yet Sae didn’t see him once.Sae’s frown deepened at the mere thought of him being ghosted. While he doesn’t believe that the blonde will do so, there was an uncomfortable pit in his stomach at the idea. He couldn’t help but feel betrayed despite knowing they had nothing official going on.

The redhead remembered Aiku’s term for his relationships. Was it casual ? A situationship ?

Sae knew nothing he had with Ryusei was casual. If it were, he wouldn’t be standing in front of the blonde’s godforsaken school after his early dismissal. He wouldn’t be waiting for the end of their classes like an idiot outside the gate, not budging even for a second. Sae wasn’t the type to wait for anyone or anything at all, yet here he was. The guard asked him why he was standing there, but he just shrugged him off, telling him he was waiting for someone. He has earned the suspicious gaze of the guard.

It wasn’t until about twenty-five minutes when the school’s bell rang loudly. Unlike Sae’s schoolmates, the students poured outside the classrooms much louder and rowdier. As soon as the guard opened the gates, they immediately ran as fast as they could outside, some bumping into each other and yelling. Sae maintained his composure and scanned the crowd intently to make sure the boy he was looking for would not escape. Ten minutes more of roaming his eyes around, his attempt to find Ryusei was to no avail. Fewer and fewer students were going out of the gate as time passed by. The guard was starting to look at his way pitifully.

Sae thought of giving up and coming back tomorrow, but with an ass excuse that will allow him to go inside the premises to search every nook and cranny of the school for the blonde. Or maybe he can just pull a Ryusei and get in by illegal means?

While he was contemplating, a bob-cut guy with his white uniform open cheerfully rushed outside the gate, skipping as he did so. When he passed by where Sae was, the redhead did not notice him. The other boy did not notice him at first, too, but when he was a step ahead of him, he suddenly stopped walking. He then turned his head comically slowly towards Sae.

The redhead was pulled out of his reverie by this strange behavior, and so, he stared back with a questioning look. He raised his left eyebrow. Does he know him?

Meguru’s eyes widened, and his face lit as if realizing something. He gasped, then pointed at Sae, and with the loudest voice ever, yelled, “RYUSEI’S BOYFRIEND!”

Every passerby walking near the two looked at them with curiosity, some clutching their chests in shock. Sae’s mouth hung open at the unbelievable scene. However, upon understanding what the boy in front of him just said, he closes the gap between the two of them.

“You know Shidou Ryusei?” he asked urgently. “Where is he?”

The bob-cut, recovering from the shock, smiled sheepishly. “Of course, I know him. We are like, BFFs , ya know?” 

Sae did not react to the information. So what? “Tell me where Ryusei is.”

Meguru then moved his eyebrow up and down. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Catholic boy?”

The redhead was irked. He felt like he could hit the boy anytime now, but he’s the only lead he has with Ryusei.

“Bro, look at your face,” Meguru roared with laughter. “You look like you’ll kill me anytime! Just like Ryu said.”

Sae ignored the way his gut turned a little when he heard the nickname.

“I will if you don’t answer me.”

“WOAH, pump the brakeees ,” the boy teased him, while playing with the straps of his backpack. “Is that how you ask a favor? Say ‘please’ first.”

Sae considered the consequences of violence outside school. Would they let him off? He just turned eighteen.

He brushed off the thought. It was only after a few seconds of silence that he responded. Sighing, he rolled his eyes. “Tell me where he is…”

Meguru closed in excitedly. “Yes?”

“... Please .”

The boy chuckled loudly. “With pleasure! Follow me!”

Sae followed Meguru silently, whose name he had only learned a few minutes into their one-sided conversation. Meguru asked him whether he minded walking a bit far, but he just shrugged. They went the opposite way he used to come from, whenever he used the back gate of his school. A thought about him possibly getting deceived by the boy crosses his mind, which he decides to put in the back of his head because he can defend himself anyway, just in case.

Listening to Meguru, however, made him realize that he actually knew little of Ryusei. His chest hollowed at the thought. 

“...Anyways, I actually met the famous Itoshi Sae!” Bachira exclaimed, pulling him back to reality.

Sae simply turned his eyes to Meguru, adamant not to show his thoughts on his face. “Did Ryusei tell you about me?”

“Obviously!” he laughed. “You’re the only one he ever talks about.”

His heart fluttered. “What did he say about me?”

The bob-cut squinted his eyes, visibly thinking. “Hmm… about how you look at him like he’s a disgusting cockroach?”

Sae scowled. The fuck is that blonde saying about him?

Meguru laughed heartily upon seeing his expression. He pointed at his face, “That must be how you look at him!”

“No–”

“Don’t cha worry, though, Ryusei has so many good things he said about ya. So many you can’t even count ‘em.”

“Like?”

The boy only snickered. “I won’t tell. That's a betrayal of trust. Bro code, you know?”

Sae only shrugged. Meguru kept talking while they continued walking, the way looking less and less familiar as they went. It’s not like Sae hasn’t gone to this part of their city, but he never walked in these streets and saw it from outside his family car. They were currently in the less populated and more rural part of their city.

“What happened to Ryusei?” he suddenly asked while looking around, making Bachira stop in his tracks.

For a moment, he saw a crack in Meguru’s jolly facade. Like a light bulb flickering, his smile staggered. He then looked away, still trying to keep up his pretense.

“Well, you’ll see in a few,” he stated in a much lower volume laced with hesitation. Sae’s heart thrummed in nervousness.

In about ten more minutes of their now quiet walk, they reached a house with a wooden fence surrounding it. The familiar motorcycle that Ryusei used on his birthday was parked just beside the fence.  The house was much smaller than theirs, but for reasons he couldn’t explain, it felt more like a home than their monotone and modern one. It was painted pink.

“ Lola! ” Meguru called out before going in.

The elderly woman sweeping dried leaves just behind the fence stopped and looked towards them. Her expression brightened when she saw Bachira.

“Oh, Meguru!” she exclaimed. “Are ya here to visit Ryusei?”

Meguru took her free hand and placed it on his forehead. Hesitantly, Sae followed suit. Admittedly, he wasn’t used to doing the mano gesture because of how distant their family was from their relatives.

“Not me, I’m sick of his face already,” the boy laughed. 

“Me too, son. But look at me, taking care of his rowdy ass,” Ryusei’s grandmother shook her head exasperatingly with a grin on her face, earning another laugh from Meguru. Sae could recognize the resemblance between Ryusei and her when she grinned. 

“Actually, this boy right here will visit your grandson,” Meguru slapped Sae’s back, which earned him a cold glare. “He’s…”

“I’m Itoshi Sae. Ryusei’s…” he introduced himself, stopping for a moment. He was unsure of what he was to him. Still, he chose the most acceptable one.

“...friend. Nice to meet you.”

The term left a bitter taste on his tongue. Ryusei’s grandmother looked at him closely, eyes widening a little with a hint of recognition.

“Oh, so you are,” she smiled up to her eyes, her gaze softening. “What a handsome young man you are. Thank you for being friends with my Ryusei.”

He could almost see her youthful self when she smiled warmly, her wrinkles seemingly a testament to how she smiled a lot during her lifetime. Sae thought that she was just as bright as her grandson. He only nodded as a response.

“I will be leaving now, ‘La,” Meguru uttered. “I have much homework to do!”

Ryusei’s grandmother slapped his arm jokingly with her wooden broom. “Who are ya fooling, you child? Never since elementary school have you two done your school work so willingly!”

Meguru only laughed. “I’ve changed!”

“Shoo! Just go. And take care!”

“ Alrightyyyy !”

Sae watched the exchange silently. When Meguru was out of sight, Ryusei’s grandmother turned to him.

“You, just go inside the house. You can find Ryu’s room there easily. It’s not a huge house, as ya can see,” she explained to him. “I still have so much to do here. Supposed to be my grandson’s duties, but ya know.”

Unsure of what to say, Sae offered with hesitation, “Do you need help?”

She squinted her eyes. “Lemme see your hands.”

Sae followed with no questions, showing her his palms. Looking upon them, she chuckled. 

“You barely do anything around your house, don’t ya?” she asked teasingly. “Just go. I can handle this, son. I’m tougher than I look.”

“...Sure.”

Sae took his shoes off before going inside the house. He looked around as soon as he did. It was a lot different than his own house. The walls in his house were flawless, with calculated placements of wall frames, a portrait of his family, and medals and certificates of Rin and him. In Ryusei’s, however, a wall in the living room was full of pictures, as well as Ryusei’s childhood drawings. A woman wearing a graduation toga was in a frame, her tanned skin and wide smile making her shine in the picture. She’s beautiful, Sae thought. The same woman was in another old picture with a child, Ryusei, who was hugged by her as he was posing with a peace sign just beside a popular fast food mascot. A smile made its way to his face without realizing it.

Walking a bit more, he soon noticed two doors. It was obvious which one was Ryusei’s room, as there was a striking painting of a reddish pink dragon in one of the two doors. It occupied the whole of the door, its eyes seemingly burning to him. The dragon was biting something bright, akin to a star. At first, he knocked on the door, but there was no response. Shaking his head, he finally decided to just open the door and get in.

Ryusei’s room was messy. A pile of clothes was scattered on the side of the bed, and bottles of energy drinks and paints were thrown around on the floor. But that was Sae’s least concern. The boy he was looking for was lying in his bed, sleeping soundly with his mouth open. Patches of his face were black and blue, and his right leg was in a cast. His arms were bandaged as well. Sae’s stomach sank. 

How much does he not know about him?

Sae clenched his teeth. He was pissed at himself for being so clueless and for being unreasonably mad at Ryusei. He doesn’t know shit! Maybe if he had asked, or maybe if he wasn’t such an asshole to Ryusei to begin with, he would have…

His spiral paused when he turned to the wall in front of Ryusei’s bed. Just beside a small table was an easel with a canvas. It was an unfinished painting. Sae recognized himself in the canvas. Walking closely, he noticed how the wall just behind it was full of sketches, drawings, and paintings. They were in different sizes, medium, and materials. But they were of the same person: a person with red hair and the same hairstyle he has. It was him. They all contained Sae in different angles, outfits, expressions, and some are close-ups of his features. He didn’t even know that he looked that way to others. What struck him the most, however, was how some of the artworks were of his old hairstyle, and the old uniform he doesn’t wear anymore. Upon looking, the oldest was from three years ago. It was a sketch of him with his hair down, earphones in both of his ears, while he was holding what looked like a magazine.

Sae was speechless. He couldn’t even remember what had happened in most of the drawings. It was clear that Ryusei knew him long before he thought. Sae’s head was filled with confusion and awe. He didn’t know what to think, really. His mind cleared when he heard his name being called by Ryusei. 

“...Sae?”

His head turned to look at the blonde, who was now awake, while rubbing his eyes. Immediately, he approached him.

“Hey,” he greeted him. “Do you need anything?”

Ryusei yawned. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Am I dreaming?”

A smile tugged on Sae’s lips. “No, dumbass.” 

He proceeded to place his palm on Ryusei’s forehead and breathed out in relief when he found out that he didn’t have a fever. The blonde leaned to his touch, but his eyes suddenly opened widely when he realized something.

“Wait…” Ryusei whispered nervously. His eyes shifted from Sae to the wall of his drawings. “Shit!”

Desperately, the blonde attempted to get up quickly. Sae, upon sensing the reason for Ryusei’s sudden actions, placed his hands on the boy’s shoulder to stop him.

“I’ve seen it all.”

Ryusei looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and a troubled expression, which tugged on his heartstrings. Sighing, he could only settle into his bed again. He puts his face in his palms.

“You weren’t supposed to see those,” he grunted. 

“Why?” Sae asked, his eyes pinned to Ryusei.

Ryusei laughed helplessly. It was obvious how forced that was. “Aren’t you creeped out?”

“No,” Sae replied without hesitation.

“You can’t be serious,” Ryusei buried his face in his hands again. “I mean, who the fuck follows someone for years and draws, what, some fucking hundreds of portraits? I don’t know, but that’s stalking, and if I’m being honest, I should be going to jail. I fuckin’ like you a lot and you don’t des— AW! ”

Sae punched his cast. With a deep frown, he spoke. “You are a fucking idiot.”

“What..” Ryusei gasped, still recovering from the punch. “Why would you—hmp!”

His mouth was silenced by Sae, who grabbed his face and kissed him. For a few seconds, their lips were touching. Ryusei blushed profusely. When Sae pulled back, he gazed intently at Ryusei’s eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you it was fine already? Why are you insisting that shit on me when I just put my tongue in your mouth last week?” he uttered with emphasis. 

“Oh my god ,” Ryusei whispered. He felt like he was melting under Sae’s intense gaze, and the butterflies in his stomach felt like they were doing somersaults that could win an Olympic gold in gymnastics. “That’s foul, Sae.”

“What’s foul, Ryu?” Sae pushed him. “I’m telling you I like you too, dumbass .”

The blonde gasped for air, and Sae only released his collar when he realized that he was probably choking the boy. Embarrassment suddenly settled on his gut, so he turned round, his ears red.

Acting like he did not just confess, he cleared his throat. “More importantly, what happened to you?”

“Ah, this?” Ryusei pointed at his leg, trying not to stutter. “Some old junior high school enemies found me. I used to, you know, brawl a lot. They were talking shit, so I punched ‘em. Motherfuckers called other groups. I was outnumbered, and the rest is history.”

Ryusei told the story casually, with a little chuckle even. Seeing the subtle, horrified expression on Sae’s face, however, forced him to reassure the boy. “But don’t worry! I’m used to this kinda stuff, so it really doesn’t bother me.”

Sae was even more horrified. Sighing for the nth time, he pulled out his phone. “Wait a sec.”

He dialed his brother’s number, who only took 3 rings before picking up. “Hey.”

“What do you need?”

“Tell Mom I won’t be home tonight because of, uh, a project. Say that it’s an important one and that I’m in a classmate’s house.”

“Huh? Fuck are you–”

“Bye.”

“ HEY —!”

He hung up on Rin. His lie was obviously not convincing, but he couldn't care less. Rin will handle that for him. If he wouldn’t be able to, Sae has cards up his sleeve anyway for blackmail. Messages popped up on his phone’s screen, but he simply turned his phone off to ignore them.

He looked at Ryusei. “I’m sleeping over.”

“Is that fine?”

He sat on Ryusei’s bed. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ryusei shifted from his bed and gave space to Sae, who brought his legs to the bed. 

“Will they come for you again?” Sae asked.

“Nah, probably not. I also called my old friends. By now, they probably have it worse than I do,” Ryusei chuckled at the thought.

Silence stretched between the two of them. Sae can hear the blonde’s breathing, which comforts him. The two of them only stared at the wall silently, the noises outside filling their ears. 

“Your mom is beautiful,” Sae said under his breath. Ryusei’s lips curled upwards.

“Ya think so?” he replied happily. The redhead nodded. He leaned his head on Sae, whose breath hitched when he did so. Ryusei closed his eyes as he reminisced.

“...You’re right. She was a very beautiful woman, my mom.”

Sae’s eyes shifted to him when he realized what his statement implied. He thought of what to say, of apologizing, but seeing Ryusei happily reminiscing made him stop. 

“You look a lot like her,” he commented, pushing away a strand of hair that fell in Ryusei’s face.

“Really?” he giggled. “Mama used to tell me I looked like my Pops. I didn’t even meet my Pops, so who knows. But Mama was… gentle. In ways that I was not. But Lola told me I was just like her.”

Sae caressed his hair gently, which made Ryusei open his eyes to look at him.

“You know, she laughs whenever I get into fights with my classmates and lose, telling me that I reaped what I sowed. I think throughout junior high, I was just doing the same shit, provoking others, you know? So maybe she could come back and laugh at me again, treating me with those gentle hands. And I’ll pout at her and lie about who punched first.”

The redhead could only hug Ryusei. He did not say anything. He didn’t have to. He patted Ryusei’s back gently. 

“Sae, I wish Mama were here. She told me to always be myself. She could’ve learned that her son is gay, and that he pulled a handsome and smart guy. She’ll be proud of us .”

“She will be proud of you ,” Sae whispered. 

The voice of Ryusei’s grandmother suddenly resounded from the outside. “Sei, Sae! Come out and eat dinner!”

“ Opo, ‘La! ”

Sae helped Ryusei stand from his bed, letting him wrap his arm around his shoulders. Before they went out, the blonde called out to him with a wide grin.

“Hey, let’s go out after I heal.”

The corners of Sae’s lips curved upwards slightly.

“Sure.”

For six weeks, Sae was consistently taking care of Ryusei. After his visit to his house, Ryusei was able to go back to school the next week. Initially, he wanted to take the opportunity to make as many absences as possible with his injury as an excuse, but upon Sae’s judgmental gaze, he decided to go back as soon as he could. Ryusei’s regret, however, did not last long.

On the third day of his comeback, his boredom peaked. He wasn’t able to do much except sit obediently, so he couldn’t exactly bother Meguru and have him go outside with him. His friend seemingly changed, too, with the way he’s suddenly taking his classes seriously, telling him off and saying that he’s trying to impress someone. Ryusei couldn’t help but yawn loudly, which earned an instant glare from his teacher. Then, someone knocked on their classroom door.

“Excuse me, Miss. Is there a Shidou Ryusei in this class?”

The said Shidou Ryusei’s mouth remained hanging mid-yawn, his widened eyes set on the familiar face by the door. It was everyone who looked at Sae, and was stunned because of the uniform he was wearing.

“A  Saint Sebastian Academy student? What are you doing here? Come in,” their teacher responded more quickly than usual.

Sae bowed before coming in. “I apologize for intruding. I just wanted to deliver someone’s lunch here. The guard told me to go here.”

His eyes then met Ryusei.

“It seems like I am in the right class,” he continued, more formally than his normal tone. “May I, Miss?”

Their teacher was taken aback. “...Sure.”

By the time Sae reached his seat, Ryusei was already blushing. He couldn’t help but think about how good he looked in the middle of his broken-down classroom. Sae looked neat in his white long sleeves, as contrasted with the darker hue of their class. The redhead then set the paper bag on his desk.

“Hey,” Sae greeted him. “Lola called on the phone and told me you left your lunch. She told me your phone was already broken ages ago. Bachira wasn’t answering, so there’s me left. I bought you this.”

“Ah,” Ryusei let out, still taken aback. “Thanks…!”

“I’ll see you.”

“See you!”

Most days, Sae will be found standing outside their school gate, waiting for Ryusei to come out. It allowed him to be known by Ryusei’s classmates. It was the same scenario when Ryusei was finally freed from his cast.

“Boss , waiting for Shidou again?”

He didn’t recognize the boy, but he assumed he must be Ryusei’s classmate. He only nodded.

“He’ll come out soon! He’s on cleaning duty today. See ya!”

Again, Sae just nodded. It was only after a few minutes that the boy he was waiting for showed up.

“SAE!” yelled a familiar voice. Turning around, he saw the blonde who was now rushing towards him, looking much better than he had weeks ago. Slightly panting, Ryusei grinned when he reached Sae.

“I thought I told you I’d go to your school after class!” he exclaimed before laughing. “Ya miss me that much, huh?”

Sae only looked at him. “...We had an early dismissal. Let’s go.”

From inside the gate, Ryusei caught a glimpse of Meguru, who was signalling “enjoy” with a matching wink while sticking out his tongue freakishly. He hid his smile before walking alongside Sae. 

“Isn’t this a date?” the blonde teased. Contrary to what he expected, the other agreed, which surprised him.

“Yes? What else do you call this? Idiot.”

Like a little kid, Ryusei giggled before affectionately leaning his head towards Sae, who just let him be. “If ya say so, pretty boy .”

Riding a jeepney, the two of them were quiet while commuting, and yet, Ryusei couldn’t stop smiling like a fool. Never did he think he would be riding a jeep with Sae. Well, maybe he did, but that was in his fantasies. It didn’t occur to him that the prospect of it being real. When Ryusei first saw Sae, he was in a slump. He was in a bad place in life. But he instantly knew he had to draw him someday. And so he did, picking up the only No. 2 pencil he had. Soon, he felt the need to give him color. It was his cold, teal eyes that were his favorite, and his reddish hair that the boy couldn’t seem to tame, even after he learned to use styling gel. Sae had always looked forward, his gaze unwavering whenever he decided on something. He never glanced over him. But Ryusei can be so greedy, and he wanted more than the unknowing muse on his canvas. He wanted to feel his warm skin. He needed to be seen through by those piercing eyes. 

In a way, perhaps Ryusei thought of Sae as a savior. Maybe he was. But holding Sae made him realize he was human and no angel nor saint. He was just Sae, who desires him as much as he desires him.

Now, his portraits of Sae felt false. The canvas was like a cage of some sort that freezes Sae in time, his life aestheticized through rose-tinted glasses. His portraits were desperate imitations, trying to become bigger than life itself and still failing miserably. Ryusei knew that Sae was so much more than that.

“What are you thinking about? We’re about to get off,” Sae broke his reverie.

 “You,” he replied with no hesitation. Sae almost rolled his eyes.

The two of them decided to hang out in another town to evade the eyes of their schoolmates and because of the fiesta currently happening in the town about thirty minutes away from theirs. Ryusei apparently heard of it from his classmates, who also asked him to come, but upon hearing it, Sae immediately came to his mind. The redhead agreed easily, too, when he asked him, so everything’s set.

“Alrighty! Let me guide ya—”

“Can we stop by somewhere before we go to the plaza?” Sae asked, cutting him off.

“Sure,” Ryusei replied, faster than intended. “Wait, you know your way around here?”

“We used to go to this town’s church weekly when I was a kid.”

“Are we going there?”

“No, but somewhere similar.”

The two of them walked silently, as Ryusei noticed the solemnity in Sae’s demeanor. The town was crowded, and there was traffic, but they paid it no mind as they were only thinking of their destination. Ryusei was curious, of course, but he decided to just follow the boy. After walking a few minutes and turning in small alleys he had never explored up to now, they arrived at a chapel. It was small, yet the way the colors of the walls and its floor are still bright made an impression that it was well-maintained. A woman in her forties smiled and bowed at them when they arrived, momentarily stopping from wiping the glass-stained windows.

Sae looked around inside with a certain fondness in his eyes. His gaze stopped at the altar, where a singular statue of Mary stands inside an alcove placed slightly upwards. She held her arms in a welcoming manner, and her gaze was cast downwards as if looking at the seats where people would pray.

“My aunt used to maintain this chapel,” Sae broke their silence in a quiet voice. “She loved Mother Mary so much. Rin and I would stay at her place near here as kids whenever there was trouble at home, so I probably know my way around here better than ours.”

The boy sighed before taking his eyes off the altar and turning his back around. He felt a small sense of embarrassment for opening up, but he pretended not to. “Well, she’s dead now. Let’s go.”

“Aren’t we going to stay for a li’l?” Ryusei stopped him, his eyes meaningfully looking at him.

“What for?” Sae raised his eyebrow.

“Well, I want to,” the blonde answered, already sitting at the pew. It was smaller than the ones in their church. “Because I love Mama Mary, and maybe, just maybe , you should too.”

Sae’s eyes thinned while he was also taking a seat. “You don’t even know the words in Ave Maria. ”

But Ryusei, pretending not to hear him, was already kneeling, eyes closed, and palms together. “Shh. I’m praying.”

Sae rolled his eyes. After a few seconds of staring at Ryusei, he was soon convinced that he was actually praying by the look on his face. Hesitantly, he also kneeled beside Ryusei, closer than he intended to. For a while, Sae only looked at Ryusei’s face. His long eyelashes flutter from time to time. Sae smiled unconsciously.

Really, Ryusei looked so unfit in the places Sae would usually be found. From his catholic school, the prestigious competition, outside his house, the Saint Sebastian church, and now, here, in the remainder of his childhood. He looked like he was a random puzzle piece outside Sae’s already seeming whole set, but he was there nonetheless, more colorful and brighter than his pieces ever could be.

Ryusei was never meant to be in Sae’s world , he thought, yet it never felt so right until Ryusei came . The world felt like it was less hideous whenever he was around. Kissing him was even more blissful in ways he’d never imagined, and the prospect of kissing the boy again elated him more than he expected.

His world was supposed to be monotonous , or so he thought.

For the first time in years, he felt like praying. While Ryusei still had his eyes closed and was bowing down, Sae tilted his head upwards to look at Mother Mary, who was also seemingly meeting his gaze.

He pleads silently.

“Please let me have this .”

When Ryusei opened his eyes, Sae was already standing, so he followed. Outside the chapel, the two of them bowed at the caretaker before going on their way.

“What did you pray for, huh? Is it me?” Ryusei nudged Sae at the side while they were walking.

Sae looked away and walked faster. “None of your business.”

“Ya didn’t deny it!” the blonde chuckled heartily, which made the redhead want to choke him there and then. When Ryusei caught up beside him, he reached for his hand and dragged him.

“Let’s hurry.”

Ryusei blurted out what barely sounded like “yeah”. Holy shit. He’s holding hands with quite literally the man of his dreams, and in public!

It took minutes before the blonde regained his composure, and he is now utterly and definitely enjoying holding hands with Sae. They walked around the plaza to check out stalls, and no matter what they checked and what they bought, Ryusei simply refused to let go of his hand. The bright lights felt like they were stabbing Sae in the eyes, and the crowd felt like they were choking him, and it was incredibly irritating, so they had to take a break somewhere quieter. Having found a bench just underneath a tree, they took a break. Sae unconsciously retrieved his hand from Ryusei’s while he was breathing. In turn, Ryusei made the saddest face ever.

“What?” Sae asked upon seeing the look on his face.

“You let go of my hand.”

He looked at the blonde like he was asking if he was serious. Seeing how Ryusei’s face did not improve at all, he offered his hand again. “Here.”

The blonde’s lips stretched impossibly wide as he took Sae’s hand in his. He giggled, “Thanksies, pretty boy!”

Sae’s cheeks heated up against his will. Both of them ate the cheap street foods they bought earlier in silence, signalling how hungry and tired the two of them were. When they finished eating, they got up to walk to find a jeep they could ride home. It was already evening by then, and Sae was already out much later than he was supposed to.

While standing beside the road and scanning the jeepneys that passed by, Ryusei began talking about anything and everything. Sae was listening attentively and replying whenever he felt like he needed to, until he saw a familiar car from afar.

Instinctively, he pulled his hand away from Ryusei, which made him stop talking. When a car’s light shone on his face, Sae’s guilt immediately rose in his gut. Ryusei looked hurt. It was a face he had never seen before.

“Hey, I—”

Sae’s family car honked near them, slowly pulling up just beside them. He saw his father’s face when he rolled down the side window. There was a hint of disapproval on his face.

“Get in, you two.”

Silently, they both got in the back. When they did, his mother greeted them cheerfully, but Sae could tell how forced that was. 

“Good lord, Sae, you didn’t tell me you’d be here today! We could’ve given you and Ryusei here a lift. We went for a friend’s invite, you see—Oh, and sorry for the lights! They broke a while ago. I hope you don’t mind, Ryusei.”

“Not at all, Tita ,” he answered.

Sae could’ve sworn that his parents felt an ick when they heard how Ryusei called his mother. Despite this, however, the charade went on. His mom continued to converse with Ryusei, who was answering everything in earnest. She was asking too many questions, which made Sae feel so uncomfortable. He felt like opening the car’s door on his side and jumping out. She even told some stories and lies about him, acting like she really knows her child. He was disgusted.

In that dim space, he couldn’t read Ryusei’s face. He just hears his usual joyful voice. He still felt guilty for what he had done earlier, although he was sure that Ryusei had probably forgiven him for it.

“Ryusei,” Sae heard his father’s voice, which made his eyes shift from the outside of the car to him. His father rarely spoke when his mother talked.

“Yes?” Ryusei replied.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Sae immediately responded. “Dad, it’s none of our business.”

“Watch your tone, young man,” he reprimanded him. Usually, he’d remain silent out of habit, but he fought the thorn forming in his throat.

“Dad—”

“Hey, what’s wrong with asking that?” his mother added to the conversation. “And Ryusei just has to answer yes or no, right, Ryusei?”

“Mom—”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Ryusei cuts his words short. “And yeah, of course! I do have a lover. Smart and beautiful. Probably hates and loves me at the same time. Definitelyyyyy out of my league! But, y’know!”

Ryusei chuckled, which made Sae’s mother chuckle too. Sae could feel his father’s relief upon learning that Ryusei has a “ girlfriend ”.

“Is she nice?” his father asked before chuckling. “Why didn’t you come with her earlier? She must’ve felt jealous of my son.”

“Very nice, sir, but I’m telling you: only to me!” the blonde replied, almost theatrically. He looked at Sae. “My love’s actually from there as a child, and knows the way around that town. My first time seeing the sides, I didn’t know. I dragged Sae so they’d meet, and well, I hope they clicked at least.”

“Such a sweet child, aren’t you?” Sae’s mother. “I wish Sae here could meet a girlfriend too, but he’s just so focused on academics! Good heavens, both my children are such overachievers.”

Since Ryusei started talking about his lover , Sae had begun blushing profusely, his heart filled with so much warmth it physically hurts. How could he talk about him so calmly like that? He hasn’t even apologized yet for his mistake, and yet Ryusei talked about him with so much love and adoration in his voice.

Looking outside the window, Sae watched as the scenery kept changing. When it was finally silent inside the car, he slowly reached for Ryusei’s hand just sitting beside his leg, so close, yet it felt so far . When their fingers touched, Sae quietly hooked his little finger to Ryusei’s. He felt nervous, yet it felt only correct to touch his boy.

Until the end of the car ride, the two of them never looked at each other in the car. Their intertwined little fingers were both a promise and a rebellion —that they’d have each other no matter what, despite the amount of uncertainty they had for the future.

And at that time, it was enough . Sae and Ryusei were enough for each other.