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It's early. Earlier than usual, but Pezzy doesn't care anymore.
He's been sleeping really shittily, all the crap in the frucket house only adding to his anxiety, which then adds to his lack of good quality sleep.
He feels like he's only slept around two hours, but he's not accomplishing anything, tossing and turning in his bed. So he gets up.
He gets dressed slowly, walking downstairs, enjoying the silence in the house for once.
John joins him soon, the skittish man smiling as he makes eye contact with him.
“I'm about to start cooking breakfast, wanna help?” Pezzy asks, John nodding.
“S-sure.”
Pezzy feels something for John in his chest. He thinks it's pity, or maybe worry. It can't be that healthy to be that fucking anxious all the time.
“Get out of my room you freak!”
Pezzy crinkles his nose as they move around the kitchen, staying out of each other's way. It seems Yumi's beefing with Puffer at an unusually early time today. It's too early for Pezzy to care today.
John flinches at the door slam, before Pezzy just shakes his head, touching John's arm to reassure him.
“Ignore them, they're just bitching over nothing..” Pezzy mumbles, before deciding to distract John. “What was that new piece you were going to start today? Something with watercolors?”
John's eyes glow as a small smile graces his face, as he begins to explain. Pezzy watches the boy talk, a sort of fondness gracing his face.
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Come on, baby, tell me, are you like me?
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It's barely gone 10am and Droid and Smitty are already going at it again, as per usual.
Another day, the same bullshit.
Pezzy sees how John shrinks down, trying to make himself look smaller, not wanting to draw attention to himself. Pezzy frowns as tiny little bits of frost gather around his feet, the youngest clearly anxious from the yelling.
Pezzy sighs. Is it too much to ask for one fucking calm and relaxing morning? Really?
He feels his hand twitch, as he turns away, frustration evident on his face, as he tries to school his features.
“Let's go get some fresh air for a bit. What do you think of that, John?”
John smiles a little at that, the two of them moving towards the backyard.
Puffer’s out the back, and he greets John with a hug, as per usual. Pezzy watches the two of them chat from the porch, before they start making daisy chains on the grass. John comes over a little while later, placing one on Pezzy's head, before running back to Puffer.
Pezzy's mostly studying the birdlife now, when he sees movement in the glass next to him. Turning, Pezzy frowns, worry ebbing up in his throat.
God, is someone coming to ruin the chill moment? Pezzy’s ready to snap.
Pezzy looks over at the house, slight confusion washing over him.
He can only see his reflection. No one's behind the glass. Yeah… It's just his reflection, staring back at him… Its weird, he could have sworn it was almost like someone else was there…?
That's… weird…Maybe a crow flew over and the movement caught his eye? That must be it.
Pezzy turns back around, not noticing it takes his reflection just a second longer to copy.
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Do you have a darkness no one sees?
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Pezzy sighed, trying to calm himself down. He's doing his breathing exercises in his bathroom, talking to himself quietly.
Another day, more of the same bullshit. Once again, he wished he had enough money to live alone, or at the very least, live with a lot less people.
“It's okay. Everyone's going okay. Nothing that bad has even happened today! I am fine-”
*boom*
Pezzy winces, as he hears something crash outside the room, and then yelling following it.
“Oh, great job Droid! You fucking dented the wall!”
“Shut the fuck up Smitty, maybe if you weren't laying in ambush I wouldn't have jumped!”
“Maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you would have actually done something.” Smitty snickers, making Grizzy laugh.
“Smitty, did you take the money on my counter again? I was going to buy Grizzy and myself some more sour candy-”
“Yumi? What the fuck are you on?”
“Oh, so it's like that is it? Are you stealing again, what the fuck? And from Yumi? That's low, dude.”
“So what if I was? Like yo fat-ass needs more candy.”
*sniffle*
“Don't worry Yums, I'll get that money back, Smitty, get your ass back here!”
Pezzy tunes them all out, after some difficulty, always somehow taking longer each time.
He closes his eyes, counting to ten, and then opening them. He stares at himself in the mirror, his eyes twitching as he grips the counter angrily.
Were his eyebags always that big? Did his expression always look that…cold?
Hearing yelling again, Pezzy feels his eye twitch, shaking his head. He should really go and split up the fight before it gets worse.
Turning around, he leaves the room. Pezzy doesn't notice his reflection watching him leave, amusement on its face.
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Do you smile when you're up to no good?
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Another day, same bullshit.
Pezzy pauses, taking in the scene.
Puffer's obviously started something today, the fish man standing to the side as he points at Droid. Droid's ears are back as he shakes his head, protesting the accusation. Grizzy’s eyes are following the yelling, and even Matt is standing there, looking more unimpressed than usual.
Pezzy analyses the scene. Matt and Droid, both looking pissed off, Grizzy standing next to Smitty, hands twitching and Puffer and Yumi at the back of both groups, glaring at each other.
John opens the front door, not getting anyone else's attention bar Pezzy, who just gestures to him to go back outside. John's eyes widen as he takes in the scene, turning around and promptly leaving, a quiet squeak leaving his lips.
“What's going on?” Pezzy asks, making Matt growl as he explains.
“Puffer said that Droid was bullying him, which is bullshit, because Droid and Yumi were watching a movie with me! But Smitty's too fucking stupid to realise that!” Matt sneers, looking over at his former best friend.
Smitty glares back, teeth bared. “Oh sure! Be real Matt! You were fast asleep, and Yumi is such a fucking whore that doesn't know what the fuck he's seeing. He's probably just lying to cover for you guys!”
“I'm not a-”
“Maybe if your alcohol rotted brain wasn't so destroyed, you'd still have critical thinking skills.” Droid snapped back, tail lashing behind him.
“Maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you'd just admit to what you've done!” Grizzy giggled, covering his mouth up, words accidentally slipping out, making Droid's claws come out.
“Say that again, you mother fucking pookie-bear looking ass. I dare you!”
Pezzy groaned, trying to lessen the amount of people in the fight. “Yumi, do you wanna maybe go to your room?”
Yumi shook his head, pretending to swoon, grabbing onto Droid, eyes wide. “I feel safer next to Droid right now.”
Pezzy could smell the bullshit. He knew Yumi was just stirring the pot, but Droid seemed to thrive off the attention.
God. Do they really have nothing better to do?
Shit, they're still going on?
“-Oh, so sleepy go bye bye is gonna lecture me about what I should and shouldn't be doing? Maybe stay awake for a whole two conversations, and then I'll take you more seriously.” Smitty smirks, sticking his tongue out at his fellow Canadian.
Matt snarled, something animal like, as the two former best friends glared daggers at each other.
“You know I can't fucking control it, you giant asshole! That's a low blow.” Matt said, as Smitty laughed at the information.
“Sure. You just need to try harder. I bet you just fucking pretended half the time when I was your babysitter anyway! You've always just been so fucking lazy.” he says, voice smug.
Silence filled the room.
Pezzy felt… weird. He looked to the side, at his reflection in the window in the front room. Was that really how he looked right now? Hands clenched, eyes blazing?
Why was he smiling? Were his eyes really sparkling that much?
What was going on?
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Do you like the taste of your own blood?
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Honestly, after Smitty's last comment, he's not that surprised that Matt tries to lash out physically. He just forgot how bad Matt was at aiming, muscles having weakened from not being able to go to the gym anymore, due to it being too risky for him to leave the house alone.
He does feel kind of sorry for him in that regard but-
Pezzy jolts, as the half empty can that Matt pelted at Smitty, instead, glances off against his own face. He hisses in response, a few droplets of blood oozing out of his nose, as all eyes turn to see him, as if they're waiting to see how he reacts.
“Look what you fucking did, asshole.” Smitty scowls, crossing his arms. “Now we're all gonna get it.”
“Oh fuck you, druggie. Maybe don't make me want to throw shit at you next time. Hint, you're getting there fast again.” Matt hissed, taking a step back.
“Oh yeah?” Smitty snickers, pressing more.
“Yeah!” Matt snaps back, eyes wild.
Pezzy’s just in disbelief, touching his nose. Do they ever stop fighting? For one moment?
To Puffer’s (and Droid's) defence, they both do actually look a little concerned about him, asking him if he's doing alright.
“You okay there, Pez?” Droid asks, his voice softening a little as he checks in on the younger, who's just happy his nose isn't broken.
Smitty's eyes light up as he senses some sort of weakness, turning back onto Droid. “Why the fuck would you care? Oh? Unless…. Droid's got a crushhhh… ooooo!” He teases, making Droid go red, as the hybrid shakes his head, scowling.
“Fuck you! I do not!” He yells as he runs at Smitty, who dodges and lets Grizzy fight his battle.
Puffer looks away from the fighting. “P-Pezzy? You okay there, buddy?” He asks quietly, getting no response. He takes a step closer, before he's raising an eyebrow at Pezzy, who just stares back at him, wiping the blood away, ignoring the addictive taste of iron in his mouth.
It's almost…No. He shouldn't go there. He needs out. Away from this.
Pezzy shakes his head, his eye and hand both twitching as he stamps his foot, voice coming out loud as everyone else pauses for once.
“I'm.. You know what? I can't deal with this right now! I'm going out. If this is all going when I get back, I'm doubling all of your rent. I don't care.” Pezzy says, turning around and heading for the front door.
He doesn't hear any acknowledgement from the others, following his outburst, just rolling his eyes as he storms out the front.
Opening the door, he hears John gasp, as he gently pushes the other away, not needing the youngest to freak out over a small injury. He's fine anyway.
“I'm fine… it was an accident, okay? It looks worse than it actually is.” Pezzy says, smiling at John, placing his hands on his forearms.
John looks doubtful, but nods in agreement when Pezzy reassures him. “Let's go for a walk.”
“Okay….”
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Would you take a walk through the tombstones with me?
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Walking with John is nice. The younger one often shows him some less familiar paths, stopping to point out various species of birds they see, out and around town. It helps soothe some of the built up anger Pezzy feels, John's genuine excitement at pointing out a different species each time almost contagious.
So Pezzy follows John around, before John gets a call from Puffer, breaking the peaceful tranquillity.
“Oh, okay… sure.” he mumbles, before saying goodbye and hanging up the call.
Pezzy tilts his head, pausing to check in. “What's up?”
John sighs, looking a little antsy now, his feet shuffling. “Puffer says that it's safe for us to come back now…and I might go home, I really wanted to glaze the painting I made earlier and-”
Pezzy sees something out of the corner of his eye as he nods to John. “Sure, go ahead. I'm just going to walk around a little more. I need a slightly longer break from all of… them.”
John hesitates, before offering. “I can stay if you want? I don't-”
Pezzy chuckles, looking back at him, waving him off. “John, it's okay. Go home. Be safe, okay? I'll be back soon, promise.”
John smiles nervously at him, before nodding in agreement. “O-okay… I will. Bye Pezzy.”
…
Pezzy watches him go, before looking back down the side-street. He takes a few steps forward, looking into the large glass window, flinching when he sees himself again, watching him. His reflection in the glass shows himself…. But the mirror image's arms are crossed and he's got a smirk on his face.
“Finally. I thought he'd never leave.” The other Pezzy says, voice sounding muffled almost.
Pezzy jumps, looking around. “You can talk?” He asks, making the other sneer a little, tilting their head and looking at him like he's stupid.
“Yeah? I can because I'm literally you? Fucking hell, get a grip. Come on. I gotta show you a place that I want you to see. I think it will be really good for you.” His reflection says, pointing down the nearest alley.
Pezzy sighs, mentally weighing up how crazy he must be, to be listening to his reflection, of everyone, before following him. His eyes curiously watch how the reflection jumps from surface to surface, like he's almost swimming through it.
It's a mirror image, but it's not a perfect reflection.
Pezzy’s pulled out of his musing when he suddenly hears yelling, pausing his movement and looking closer at his reflection. “Is that…?”
His reflection smirks, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Nothing you don't deal with every day, right? Man up, bitch.”
Pezzy turns the corner, pausing at a door to what looks like a theatre. Ah. Shit.
He knows immediately, it's one of those underground illegal fighting rings. He shouldn't be here, people like him are easy pickings for these types of places.
Hopefully he can just-
“Hey!”
Shit.
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Or will you run?
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A man with mutton chops catches him by surprise, grabbing a firm hold of his arm, rooting him in place.
“I was just leaving, I-” Pezzy stammers out, the man just laughing as he smirks, like he knows something Pezzy doesn't.
“No you weren't. You obviously came here for a reason. I'm looking for a new star… I see something in you that I like… You got some blood on you already… I like that on my guys. You could be really good at this I reckon, with a bit of training…”
Pezzy swallows, being dragged inside, before looking around at all the people who are bigger than him. “I don't know… won't I get-”
The man's eyes glimmered with amusement as he studied Pezzy. “Nah… I know what I see in you. You got something.”
Pezzy’s eyes looked at the window behind the guy, seeing his reflection smiling wide.
The man's arm pulled Pezzy inside the building.
“This is where the magic happens!” he snickers, Pezzy jolting a little at the influx of pure noise.
To put it lightly, people are beating the shit out of each other. Hybrids vs humans, humans vs humans and everything else. Bloods flying everywhere, people are wounded, and the noise? It's vicious.
People are cheering and screaming. Money's going everywhere. It's overwhelming, but there's also something spooling in Pezzy's stomach.
The man shoves him, making him stumble a little, calling over at him. “Give it a go. Come on. Humor me. Throw a punch over here at my good pal right here.”
Pezzy’s trapped. There's no way out of here, more people moving in and surrounding him.
This is where he dies.
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Just like the others always do?
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“Pretend he's one of those people in your life, that won't just fucking stop! They won't ever learn.. Show me what you're made of, kid!” the boss calls out, leaning on the fence.
“But I don't-”
Pezzy’s body trembles as the man in front of him roars out loud, before running at him. He yelps, jumping to the side quickly, barely avoiding getting hit.
“Tch…Not good enough. Try hitting him back, kid!”
The scary guy rushes him again, and this time Pezzy’s not fast enough to dodge.
He gets thrown to the ground, the wind rushing out of him. He wheezes, trying to catch his breath, before he's being kicked in the side, folding in on himself, until he can scramble away.
He whines, before opening his eyes, seeing his reflection standing in front of him, almost like a ghost, looking thoroughly unimpressed with him.
“You're pathetic. What kind of person are you, when you can't even stand up for yourself? Fight back for once.”
Fight back.
Won't it feel good?
The sound of footsteps approaching catches his attention.
Pezzy screams, this time it's something almost like … he's repressed it, and then he's balling his hands up into a fist. He darts to the side, before swinging at the guy, fist connecting with his face, making the man groan, falling to the ground, clutching his face. Blood pours out of his nose, as the boss cheers.
“That's the way, kid! Give him hell!”
The big guy stands up, cricking his neck before charging again.
“Keep going.” His reflection was encouraging him, as Pezzy quickly ducked out of the way of his opponent's retaliation. Pezzy gasps, nimbly spinning, and then punching him in the cheek, the feeling of his fist hitting the other, not even hurting him.
Pezzy winces as he feels the crunch of something breaking in the man's face, but suddenly he's flying, the man's arm clipping him, and sending him into the wall of the arena. He gets back to his feet, surprised at how he's not in any pain.
The man punches him in the face, and Pezzy doesn't even flinch, watching as the man's hand glances off his skin, howling in pain. Pezzy’s eyes are wide, as an almost manic laugh bubbles from his skin.
Darting around, he does one final punch, and the man collapses, Pezzy standing next to him, breathing heavily, giggling a little.
He makes eye contact with his reflection, which smiles in delight, and then it all comes crashing back in. The noise returns, and he's covered in blood, and what the fuck is he doing?
This isn't him!
What has he done?
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Just like the others always do…
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A few seconds pass, Pezzy frozen in place as it goes quiet around them. Then the sound of some coins dripping onto the ground snaps him back to awareness.
Pezzy quickly jumps the fence and runs outside, heaving in a breath. The boss man watches him, slowly following behind, gesturing to his men not to follow.
“You did well kid… The first fight is always the worst, but ya get the hang of it.” he says casually, flipping a coin.
Pezzy shakes his head, on the verge of vomiting. “No.. no I can't do that… That wasn't even…. I'm not even strong i-”
The man smiles, flipping the coin and catching it again. “Okay.” is all he says simply.
Pezzy pauses, confused by that. “Huh… Okay? So what… I can just leave?”
The man laughs, nodding with a smile on his face. “Of course you can, kid.. But I know you. I've seen many people like you. You'll be back…” he says, eyes glittering.
“No. No I won't. Thank you, but no thanks.” He replies quickly, backing up while facing the man. After stumbling on a rock, Pezzy turns and runs away, ignoring his reflection's judgemental eyes.
He thinks the man says something else, but he's too busy trying not to throw up.
“Yes…. You'll be back… Pezzy….”
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I'm your man, you know it's true
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The eyes watch him leave. Pezzy just needs to get back home, walk in, and say hi to John, so John knows he made it back safe. Okay. Easier said than done..
Eyes wide, Pezzy pointedly DOES NOT look at any reflective surfaces on the way home.
He pauses in a public bathroom quickly, looking at his hands as he quickly wipes off a few speckles of dried blood, brushing the dirt off his clothes. There. He probably looks better now.
He's not brave enough to check though.
Sighing, he finishes walking home.
It's quiet as he walks up the front steps, unlocking the door and looking around.
Strangely quiet.
Walking inside, he heads to the kitchen, passing by the living room. John's sitting on the couch, an asleep Matt in the corner of the room.
John sees movement, freezing up for a second, before he realises it's only Pezzy. Pezzy can see how John relaxes, and he gives the younger a friendly wave, trying to stop his own hands from shaking.
John stands up, walking over to the kitchen, standing nearby Pezzy, as he stims with his sweater paws.
“Was it a g-good walk?” He asks quietly, Pezzy having to force himself not to freeze up.
“It was mostly uneventful… I got a little lost, so I just poorly retraced my steps… Won't be going that way again, that's for sure. Ha-ha…” Pezzy says, giving a weak smile.
John looks slightly concerned, as if he can tell something’s off. Pezzy quickly places a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, changing the subject.
“Why's it so quiet?”
Blinking, John raises a fabric covered hand to his face. “Puffer said that Smitty went to his room and got drunk again. Droid went out, Grizzy went to his room… I think Yumi's being weird online again and Matt passed out. Matt said he was sorry that he missed Smitty though…” John recounted.
“So he's not sorry he hit me, he's just annoyed he missed. Okay. Gotcha.” Pezzy sighed. “And where is Puffer now?”
“Right here!”
Pezzy winced as Puffer pulled him into a hug, the older catching him in the side where he was still tender from earlier. He disguised it by coughing, pretending to be shocked.
“Shit… Okay… Hi Puffer…” he mumbled, watching as Puffer snuck around, grabbing John's hand.
“I need John to help me with something. Sorry Pezzy.” Puffer smiled, and Pezzy stopped himself from rolling his eyes.
Yeah right, you're just jealous that I've seen him more than you today, and you're getting possessive.
Instead of voicing it aloud, Pezzy just smiles and nods. “Oh, sorry Puffer. Thanks for looking out for everyone while I dipped earlier.”
Puffer’s chest puffed out slightly, as he paused under Pezzy’s praise. “Um thank you uh… Okay. I'll see you later!”
Pezzy watched them leave, turning to the hallway mirror, scowling at his reflection which was currently pretending to gag at the interaction.
“Oh shut up.” Pezzy growled, storming out of the kitchen, to his room.
His body ached. He needed a warm bath and an early night's sleep.
Someone else could handle dinner.
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Evil side….
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So, Pezzy continues his mundane routine, trying to put that day… that place behind him.
He's not like them. He's not some violent person! He's just… dealing with a lot right now..
Pezzy simply blinked as Droid and Smitty both yelled in front of him, both looking to get the younger on their side. Pezzy’s eyes flicked from side to side each time they spoke, like he was watching a tennis match or something.
If they weren't so loud and unpredictable, Pezzy would call this boring. He's pretty sure they've already had this exact argument twice before already, something about Droid being convinced Smitty's stolen some of his money and blown it on one of his various vices.
Droid's going on and on about how he left the money just ‘right there’ and ‘Of course the stain of the house would do this shit.’
Smitty's busy yelling that he didn't need Droid's money, that he stole the cigarettes, which is another can of worms for Pezzy to unpack.
“So you admit you are a thief! You steal! How do I know you didn't just pocket my money and the cigs then? You fucking would, you absolutely hopeless alcoholic!” Droid sneers out, tail lashing behind him.
Smitty laughs, loud and hollow. “Bitch I have no fucking need for your money! As if I'd wanna go in your fucking furry fuck-den either, I'd probably catch some disease from going in there from the litterbox you probably got in there you pussy. I told you, I swiped these cigarettes, and I'm starting to wish I stole your money, because I'd give it back to you so you would shut the fuck up for once!”
“Fuck you bitch! I'll show you!”
“Pezzy, did you see that? He's crazy! He swung at me! He needs to be locked up!”
“Oh fucking… I hate you so fucking much! You're such a pussy-ass loser! Next time you're turning your arm into salami slices, why don't you go ahead and finish the j-”
Pezzy clapped, cutting off Droid's words, sighing.
“You really didn't take his money?” He asked Smitty, raising an eyebrow.
“Fuck no! Not this time!” Smitty whined.
“Okay, go.” Pezzy says, waving him away, much to Droid's annoyance.
“But he-”
Smitty poked his tongue out at Droid, as he passed him, deliberately shoving him. “Oops.”
Droid's tail was lashing again, as Pezzy pulled out his wallet.
“How much was it? 50, you said?”
“Yeah, but-”
Pezzy passed the note to him, “Take it.”
“I can't! He took it and-”
Pezzy pinched his brow. “Droid, just take the money, and I'll talk to him later and see if he has it. If it turns up in your room by some weird miracle, you can give me that back, okay? I'd rather that than a hospital trip, okay?” He groaned out, Droid's eyes narrowing, before he reached over and took the bill of money.
“O-okay… Sorry, I guess.” He grumbled, as Pezzy just sighed.
“It's hardly the worst fight you guys have had… now. I need to go to the store to grab groceries. You can come with and push the cart.
“Fucking hell…Let me get my shoes on…” Droid grumbled, storming away, making Pezzy sigh.
Why do they always need to fight at the most inconvenient times? I'm so fucking over it all…
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Even you….
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Pezzy felt his fist clenching up, anger brewing inside himself again. He stormed outside, to the back shed where Grizzy’s punching bag stood. Pezzy had never hit anything before, (bar that other person, who Pezzy is pointedly not remembering at this point) but today was a new day.
Growling a little in frustration, Pezzy let his fist fly, the bag snapping back, a visible dent in it. He jumped, for once he's actually looking at his fist, seeing it coloured an odd metallic silver. What the fuck? That's not… normal….
“Are you finally starting to get it now?” his reflection said from the mirror in the corner of the room. “Are you ready to stop pretending to be human?”
“What? What the fuck? What am I? Who even are you? What's going on?” Pezzy mumbled, looking down as his skin slowly went back to normal flesh. He shivered a little, feeling a little out of place.
The reflection laughed a little, shrugging. “How do you think you took no damage during that fight? You were just stronger than him… As for who I am? You're just me… I'm just you, but only when you're not pretending to be something you're not.”
Pezzy looked over, as his reflection's skin slowly melted into something more metal, placing its hand on the glass of the mirror, making him jump.
“We're the same.”
Feeling drawn to it, Pezzy pressed his own palm to the glass, and then suddenly, he's remembering everything.
The lab, the experiments, how he didn't have parents, how he was created, to look human, act human, but he's not human. His love for fighting. How he would bait people into attacking him, and then let them injure themselves. How the scientists even became scared of him, because they had no way to control him. Fighting back.
How he'd destroyed the building, laughing as it burned down.
….
And then how he'd just repressed it all when he left. Pretending it was all just some weird dream, checking into a mental hospital and doing a full course. Making up a lie, a new identity and sticking to it, all for a chance at a normal life.
But was how he was living right now really worth it?
Pezzy squares his shoulders, looking back at his reflection, which still smiles back at him, eyes glinting in the light of the room.
“See? I'm still here. I'm you, from an earlier point in time. You just finally remembered the truth.”
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Now I'm no stranger to bending the truth
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Pezzy’s laying in bed now. The house is quiet for once, no one seems to be awake.
Everyone had grabbed some of the stir fry he'd made in a rather quiet way. Maybe they'd sensed how out of it all Pezzy was for once? It didn't matter. Pezzy was just happy no one had fought.
He'd eaten dinner at the table, blinking every now and again as he watched John and Puffer talk about something together, Grizzy joining in every now and again, Matt eating a little of his meal, before sitting on the ground, passing out into a sleep attack.
Pezzy was happy to see Grizzy move Matt to his beanbag, relieved that he didn't have to ask the other to do it for once, his mind currently occupied.
Pezzy can't help but reminisce over everything in the past now. When he'd first met everyone, becoming friends with them all. It seems like so long ago now.
Everything he'd built on top of his phony identity, the happiness and life he'd built.
Pezzy lays there and thinks about it all. Before everything went wrong.
Before Matt's narcolepsy became more and more uncontrollable, before Smitty's alcoholism got out of control.
Before Puffer started acting out in more extreme ways for attention. Before Grizzy became addicted to the adrenaline rushes that doing dangerous things would give..
When Droid was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, who'd love to hug his friends. Before he went missing, and came back half animal, flinching at touch, snapping at people who went near him.
When John wasn't as anxious. When Yumi wouldn't start drama with everyone.
He can remember, when they'd all been more of a family, a bunch of teenagers, all angry at the world, but happy because they had each other. Maybe he was being too naive, fresh from the mental hospital, but he really thought they'd make it.
“When did it all become our problem? Why do we have to be the babysitter? Why can't they all just start being adults?”
Pezzy nods at what his voice is saying. He may not agree with everything, but he does agree with that.
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But I swear to God and his skies of blue
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Maybe it was like some weird sort of caretaker burn out? Maybe he's just tired of everything?
Pezzy remembers how they'd all changed. The older guys had subtly picked up bad habits, hiding them from himself, Matt, John and Puffer for a while. Grizzy started taking things to help him focus, Yumi had always been kind of sporadic, especially after his parents cut him out of the will, and Pezzy remembers how snappy and angry Droid and Smitty started to get as time went on.
Then Matt's narcolepsy got worse. Suddenly Smitty was always missing, the guy going from identifying the signs instantly, to away from home for three days, coming back smelling of booze. Something in Matt changed around that time, as he closed off from the rest of them, gaining a few too many head injuries from his spells. Pezzy tried his best to help the older, but Matt started becoming more cold, especially cynical to Smitty, who most days didn't remember his friend even existed.
John tried talking to Smitty about his habits, and that left him shaken up, the man not speaking for a couple days after that. Pezzy and Puffer had comforted him, but Pezzy had been pulled away because Droid came home with scratches everywhere, having got into yet another fight. Pezzy had to patch him up, the other not really caring if the cuts got infected.
Grizzy had turned up with a broken ankle some time later, the oldest not explaining where he got it from, but Pezzy knew it was from something dangerous. He couldn't really confront the man, because John had ended up having a panic attack so bad it left him seizing, and he had to take him to hospital.
Then when they got back it was never ending. Scratches, bruises, words, you name it, Pezzy was always busy. He'd come home from working some minimum wage job, and then someone would ask him to fix something in the house. As a people pleaser, he used to leap at the chance.
He'd been helping Droid out by cleaning a new cut for him when John had screamed louder than he'd ever heard before. And then he yelled Smitty's name.
“Pft. Wonder what he's done now.” Droid had groaned, little sympathy in his voice.
Pezzy had gone to reply, when John had shrieked his name out too. “PEZZY, CALL 911!”
Pezzy doesn't really remember clearly what happened after that.
He can remember running up the stairs, John sobbing over Smitty, who was covered in blood, booze and vomit. He can remember the others shocked faces, how John had wailed and screamed, snapping at the EMTs for not moving fast enough. Pezzy remembers how barren Smitty's room had been, all the glass everywhere.
Why hadn't he noticed sooner?
Time passed slowly, John obviously unsettled, but acting emotionally withdrawn around their unconscious friend, laying in the hospital bed.
Smitty's false promises of going to rehab, that had fallen through rather quickly, but at least he'd handed over the finances and other shit to Pezzy.
Ever since then, it was just like a tension built up inside Pezzy. When would it be his turn to be looked after? Why was he always the responsible one?
Pezzy chooses to roll over and sleep, a frown on his face.
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There's something off with me…
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“So… when are we going back?"
Pezzy pointedly doesn't look at the window as he walks down the street.
“Hello? I know you fucking hear me. When are you going to go back and do what you actually like, instead of playing mother to a bunch of grown ass men!”
Pezzy looks away, clenching his jaw as he finally replies to his angry reflection.
“No… just because I remembered… doesn't mean I…”
Pezzy doesn't finish his sentence, falling silent as he keeps on walking home.
His reflection groans.
“I should… go back home..” he says out loud, but instead of turning down his street back to their home, he feels his feet taking him somewhere else.
His reflection is smug, eyes following as Pezzy’s shoulders slump over, and his arm starts twitching.
“Who are you trying to fool? Just go let it out.”
Pezzy’s hands clenched into fists as he turned down that same side street again, touching his hand to the glass, his reflection wobbling slightly. With a deep breath, his expression dropped, and he walked up to the building at the end of the road.
Opening the door, he doesn't even flinch at the noise. Someone moves over to him, and gets waved away by the mutton chopped man.
“Nice to see you again, kid. Are you ready to try again?” He asks, teeth shining.
Pezzy looks around at all the fights already happening, an image of everyone at home being pushed away by his brain as he nods. “Where do I start?”
A hearty laugh leaves the other man's throat. “Eager, eh? Why don't you come have a chat with me, and then we can see what you've really got.”
…
When his alarm goes off the next day, Pezzy simply sets it to snooze for once. The others can make their own food for once.
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And maybe something off with you…?
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Time passes. Pezzy withdraws emotionally, caring less and less each day. Once upon a time he would have stepped in for all these fights, now, he just watches and imagines how easy it would be to beat them all.
Like today. Pezzy hears the yelling, and he doesn't even bother checking what's going on. He simply turns and walks away silently, figuring that there's no point in sticking around, when he could be doing more productive things. Soon, he's out the front door, slamming it shut behind him, the yelling becoming muffled.
His mirror image laughs in his head, watching him go, but he can tell there's concern laced in there now. As if it's starting to get worried at how off Pezzy is.
“I told you. We're more alike then you realise. I knew it wouldn't be long before you went back to your old ways.” He says, making Pezzy roll his eyes at himself.
“We're nothing alike anymore.” Pezzy snaps, his hands rippling into their metal form.
His reflections smug look falters, as he walks past, concern flashing in his eyes. It doesn't speak again.
His feet take him somewhere familiar. Somewhere that once upon a time he would have sworn he was better than. Now, he knows the truth. He knows what type of person he is.
Maybe he's not so different from everyone he lives with?
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So don't run
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Walking through the front doors, he's struck with the memory of his first time training here. The second time he'd stepped into the ring.
Pezzy chooses to ignore the way the boss looks at him, talking about how he was right. Pezzy decides to humor him, by simply nodding. His new boss seems to like that, simply patting him on the back.
Stepping over the guard rails, Schlatt tells him to try and take on one of his stronger guards. A simple 1v1, to test his strength. Pezzy remembers how he had hesitated, seeing the guy crack his neck, standing so much taller than him.
“Show me watcha got, pipsqueak.”
Pezzy then imagines it's one of the people who experimented on him. He imagines it being one of the guards. He imagines it being one of his friends- Wait, no.
He watches the man charge at him, tensing up his skin, as the guard strikes him, and the man flinches back, gripping his hand in pain. “Shit… what the fuck?”
The boss smiles, gesturing for Pezzy to have a go at attacking now.
Pezzy’s looking at his skin, watching it flicker and ripple. Confidence strikes him, and he runs at the other man, punching him in the chest.
“No, you need to punch him while metal… or..maybe you can shapeshift with it? Get some big claws out? Do maximum damage. That's what we're looking for here! The more bloody the better! I know you can do it!” Schlatt suggests, leaning over the fence as Pezzy bites his lip, slightly nervous.
“Like… Attack him with claws? Won't that… kill someone…?” Pezzy says, as the boss guy shrugs, speaking dismissively.
“Maybe? We got magic healers in here, so honestly, the chances of that are slim… But who cares! If ya lose, you may as well be dead here! Ain't no money won on losers.”
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Just like the others always do
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Pezzy remembers all the fighting. Day after day of training, getting better and better, learning how to use his power.
The guard falls to the ground, a wet thump as Pezzy pulls his clawed hands free. He's absolutely covered in blood now. Its kind of exhilarating, but-
The guy's not moving… Oh shit, did he sever his spine? Holy shit. That was one of Schlatt's best guards. He's totally fucked up! He's gone too far! Schlatt is going to beat his ass. He's seen what the boss does to some of the others..
Schlatt looks over at him, expressionless. Is he in trouble? Surely Schlatt should be yelling by now?
Pezzy swallows as he starts to walk over, about ready to start apologising, voice catching in his throat.
“I'm sorry I, I didn't-”
Pezzy sees the hooked hand come up into the air, so he closes his eyes protectively, flinching, waiting for the hit that doesn't come.
The boss snickers at how Pezzy jumps, instead, ruffling Pezzy’s hair with a laugh.
“Good fighting out there kid. Seems like I trained up a new guy to make me millions now. You did fantastic.”
Pezzy’s expression changes, as he smiles wide, opening his eyes as Schlatt kicks the body of the unmoving guard. “Disgraceful form… absolutely disgusting…”
"When do I start?” Pezzy asks, missing his hair around, before pushing it back, enjoying the way it sat differently now. He used to have it cover his face slightly, now it sticks up, almost wild.
“How about right now kid? I got some people coming in soon, I reckon you'd take em, easily.” Schlatt says, crossing his arms.
Pezzy briefly considers that this is a very bad idea, but maybe he's too far gone already. The rush is addicting.
Pezzy burns the clothes he uses later that night, Schlatt easily providing him with replacements. He sneaks in late, sleeping with a smile on his face.
His reflection watches him sleep, concern in his eyes.
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Just like the others always do
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It's just something easy to add to his routine. Just like a workout! How nice!
Wake up, listen to people yelling over pointless and trivial stuff, go out, beat the shit out of some people, get paid, go home.
But Pezzy finds out rather quickly that he's actually really good at fighting people, and he's especially good at making people hurt themselves. It's always funnier watching them be their own worst enemy, causing their own injuries. It makes him laugh.
He just loves fighting! Like, right now;
Pezzy’s just been thrown in the air. It's as if time slows down while he's there.
He can see the few speckles of blood in the air with him. He can feel his hair moving, his clothes ruffling. He laughs a little, almost manic, before he's looking down at his opponents, as he comes crashing back down to the ground.
He lands nimbly, flicking his body to metal to dodge the pain of impacting the ground, before switching back to human, for the slight movement bonus.
His enemies then go on the offensive, and he quickly tracks them, planning ahead.
Pezzy turns, dodging back as one of the tiger hybrids swipes at him. He's getting his own metal claws out, and with some crazy scream, he's then diving onto the others back, clinging on, claws sinking into flesh.
The tiger growls out, trying to dislodge him, but Pezzy just laughs like a maniac, using its weight against it, glad that it works so easily.
He brings it to the ground, flinching as he feels the other hybrid's claws hit his face. He has enough smarts to turn his eye to metal, but isn't fast enough with his skin, hissing as the claws slice through the side of his face, blood spraying out.
“Oooh… You're going to get it for that.” Pezzy says quietly, shooting his now metal leg out, and hearing the crunch of the guy's ribs in response. The first hybrid attempts a lunge, but Pezzy just slashes once more at its paws, and it surrenders.
He watches as both of them crumple to the ground, as he stands next to them, breathing heavily. He touches his skin on his face, pulling it away to see blood, just shrugging a little at the sight. It's annoying, only because it's not worth the drama he's gonna get from Puffer or John if they see it.
But, it's also not worth it to go see the people specialising in speed healing. He kind of likes the idea of having a battle scar too. It sets himself apart. From who he used to before.
The old Pezzy was a push over. He simply tried to keep the peace, getting pushed to the side and abused.
This Pezzy could keep the peace by ending the fights, stopping them from happening again.
“Ready to try again?” He sneers, as the tigers both glare up at him.
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I'm your man, you know it's true
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Pezzy tumbles in the dust, this time, he's choking out a bear hybrid, until he begs for mercy. Getting up, Pezzy looks around the crowd, smiling as he hears the cheering of his name.
“And the winner? Once again it's our in-house reigning champion, proving that size doesn't matter at all!!”
Pezzy stands there, drinking it all in, all the cheers and even the boos. You can't please everyone it seems. He understands why Grizzy does shit like this now. The rush? The thrill? Utterly Addicting.
Pezzy exits the ring, heading back stage to his dressing room. His boss is there, smiling wide, counting all the bills from the fighting.
“There he is! Man of the hour! God. You were a menace out there today Pez!” he chuckles, handing Pezzy an envelope with his earnings, a few thousand dollars. Pezzy doesn't bother checking, knowing Schlatt wants to keep him around, so he pays him well.
Pezzy smiles at the praise from the older man, still a little giddy from all the fighting. “Thanks boss-man… Couldn't have done it without you and your encouragement.”
His boss snickers, looking wistful as he snorts. “I like to think you coulda…” he says, walking over and ruffling Pezzy’s hair. “Yer, pretty good at this shit, kid…”
Pezzy smiles, enjoying the praise. It's not like anyone ever did that back at home…
“Have you ever thought about doubles? If you had a co-fighter, we could sign ya up for some of these here… uh, the big leagues stuff…Food for thought. It's not needed, just thought I'd mention it.”
Pezzy pauses, not really having considered it before now. More money could be good, especially if someone was going to be in and out of hospital on a weekly basis at home. “I mean.. I hadn't before… but I am now thinking… I don't know though.. I don't really trust people to watch my back.”
“No pressure of course Pez. You can just stick to this shit. You're cracked.” Schlatt says, folding his arms.
Pezzy almost thinks of Grizzy and Droid. They would almost be just as good as him at this.
But then he's struck with the thought of them immediately using it to beat up their house mates, causing more mess for him. He wrinkles his nose, immediately displeased with the idea.
“I'll keep an eye out.” he says instead, waving farewell to Schlatt. “Have a good one.”
“Bye, Kid. Get home safe.
…
Pezzy leaves the arena, pausing and making eye contact with his reflection, who almost seems more quiet than usual. It's hard to say. His reflection most of the time is normal, so it's rare to see it different again.
“I'm nothing like you, because I'm so much worse than you ever were.” Pezzy spits, a smug smile on his face before he's walking away.
Pezzy turns away, not seeing his reflection ripple and shake. The reflection watches sadly as Pezzy leaves, before fading away.
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Evil side
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Pezzy shuts the front door, pausing at the noise, making him clench his teeth and fists.
It's still fucking happening! They're still fighting. He's been gone for hours!! It's getting old, fast.
Maybe it's time he shuts this shit down?
Droid's yelling at Puffer now. Smitty's yelling, and Grizzy’s laughing. It's loud, and obnoxious and-
Pezzy’s eye twitches. He's had enough.
Storming into the room, no one looks at him at first. Everyone just ignores him, doesn't respect him.
That changes now.
No one looks at him, until he grabs Puffer, immediately shutting him up, his grip iron on Puffer’s forearm, making Puffer’s expression falter.
“Get the fuck in your room.” He snaps, and something in his eyes, must scare Puffer, because he's immediately leaving.
“Why's he allowed to fucking leave? Pezzy he-”
Pezzy’s head turns, and then he's grabbing the drunken man by the collar of his shirt, shifting his arm and lifting him off the ground with ease. It succeeds in shocking everyone into silence.
“How about you just shut up? Okay? Just go to your fucking room too! Okay? I am sick of you all fucking yelling all the time!” He snapped, his arm letting go, dropping Smitty back to the ground, eyes flashing at all of the rest of them.
He sees something move, and he grabs Grizzy’s fore-paw reflectively, squeezing it in his metal form. It's enough to make the man-bear yelp in pain, and he's pulling his paw back, shock in his eyes. “Fucking, ouch? What the hell? Since when were you that strong?”
“P-Pezzy?” Droid says, voice quiet now, all three of them looking at him, shocked. “What are-”
“Of course Droid's boyfriend needs to step in.” Smitty scowls, and Pezzy quickly looks over, lifting him back to his feet.
“IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO JUST SHUT UP!” He snaps back, throwing Smitty a little, not enough to hurt him, but enough to scare him, making everyone else gasp.
Droid goes to say something, and Pezzy points at him, a snarl on his lips. “Don't you fucking start.”
A ripple of silence passes over them, Pezzy almost daring someone to fuck up and ruin it.
“Wow! See? It's so much nicer when you're not yelling at each other! Thanks guys!” Pezzy smiles, turning around and walking away.
“What the fuck?” Smitty mumbles, his voice shaky as Grizzy just curses under his breath.
Pezzy leaves the room, storming away, not feeling much better. Another voice takes him off guard.
“Oh hey, w-where have you been…? Huh? P-pezzy..?” John says, pausing and voice cutting off in a strangled noise, seeing the new injury on Pezzy’s face, the blood speckled on his clothes.
Pezzy looks over at John, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head in confusion, trying his best to not seem annoyed at the anxious man. He was annoyed, but not at John. “What?”
John looks at him, almost horrified as the ground suddenly turns icy under him. He reaches over, as if to touch and check on the injury, but instead he shrinks in on himself, more frost spreading around him as he whispers. “N-nothing… I'm sorry to bother you…”
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Even you…. have one too….
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It's been nicer so far this week, slightly less yelling, but…
Pezzy doesn't buy for one second that it's fixed… It's more like it's just being suppressed. Building up.. Waiting to blow.
That's fine with him now that he's stopped caring so much. They annoy him, he goes and blows off some steam, he comes back and sleeps better than he has in years. It's working kinda well.
The sound of a door opening catches his attention however.
Pezzy watches as John flees Smitty's room, collapsing outside the door, bursting into tears. His eyebrow raises as he watches the frost spread quickly, before John notices it and suppresses it back inside, trying to calm himself down.
Pezzy wonders what John would be like if he wasn't always trying to keep calm. If he gave up on trying to keep it all in. He wonders how strong the other would be.
Maybe it would give John some more bravery? Prove that he didn't need anyone else to be happy? Give him something else.. like a purpose?
Maybe there's another option for this partner thing…?
“John?” Pezzy says quietly, walking over to where the youngest was sniffling and shaking.
John looks over, wiping his eyes. “Y-yes Pezzy? What's up?”
“Let's go for a walk. I think you need some air.” Pezzy says, holding a hand out kindly.
John hears something break behind Smitty's door, flinching a little, before hesitantly reaching out and grabbing Pezzy’s hand.
“Okay, where are we going?”
Pezzy wraps an arm around John's shoulder. “Somewhere that I think will do you a lot of good.”