Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Splinter did not remember his days before the lab.

The mutagen that had been injected into him had given him a consciousness that he had not had as a simple rat. He had thoughts, emotions, curiosities, feelings that once had not existed within him.

He watched as the small human girl interacted with the larger human man, and marveled at the kindness they showed each other. There was love between the two, and Splinter was in awe at the fullness of joy that was evident on their faces.

He had wondered what it would be like to feel the same, and then he saw the four little turtles brought into the enclosure beside him.

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo.

They were small, wonderful, and perfect.

When April had rescued them, Splinter was grateful. Not only because she had rescued him from certain death, but also because she had given him the opportunity to be a father to the boys.

As he watched them grow up, Splinter felt as though his heart could not have gotten more fuller and happier. His four sons were talented, bright children, and being able to teach them gave Splinter the purpose he had been searching for. When they grew taller and stronger, Splinter worried for them, wanting his boys to be safe and unharmed. He knew, however, that their curiosity would get the better of them, and he would not always be able to keep them in their happy little home beneath the streets of the city.

Splinter’s fears were quickly outweighed by the pride he felt for his sons as they saved the city not once, but twice, from the Shredder, working with the humans to stop him and his alien allies. He could not help but feel overcome with emotion. His boys had been through so much, and deserved to be celebrated as heroes.

With his sons, Casey, and April, Splinter truly believed his life was full, and that he needed nothing else in his life.

He was content.

Then, three more groups of his sons had fallen into his life (quite literally), and Splinter was completely and utterly thrown off-balance.

Two of the groups were happy, bubbly versions of his sons. Splinter was almost emotional watching them, reminded so very much of his boys when they were children. Their innocence and joy made his heart fill near to bursting, and Splinter wanted nothing more than to sit and listen to their babbling stories.

The third group, however, worried Splinter more than he would admit.

They were quiet, and stuck to each other’s side like glue. The humans that accompanied them, when they first met, had formed a protective line behind them, staring down the others as if they were going to hurt their turtles.

The guarded, almost worried look in their eyes had broken Splinter’s heart, and when he heard of what their teacher had done in their dimension, the anger that filled him was unlike anything else.

As they all got to know one another, Splinter watched the group of guarded boys slowly let their walls down. He was delighted to see them joke around with their brothers, relaxing and joining in on afternoons in the various lairs, movie nights, and quiet patrols.

Even more so, Splinter’s heart warmed as the boys became more comfortable around the three versions of Splinter. Raph was first, of course, but his brothers followed, gravitating towards their different senseis. They began opening up, talking about their own training and journey with their weapons. They stiffened less around them, their eyes losing the pained look when talking to them. It was bittersweet to Splinter, as he knew why they reacted in such a way, and hated that they had been so fearful of a simple conversation at first.

The first time that Leo had approached him, completely on his own, Splinter was sitting in the dojo of his home, preparing for one of his sessions with Leonardo. The arrival of the younger version of his eldest son had been surprising, as it was still very rare for the boys to be without each other in the different dimensions.

“Good morning, Master Splinter.” Leo said, entering the dojo with a shy look on his face.

Splinter smiled warmly at him, setting down the teapot on the small table in front of him. “Good morning, Leo.” The boy came closer, kneeling in front of him, staring down at his hands. “How are you?”

Leo started at the question, like he was not expecting to talk about his well-being. “I’m managing.”

“Would you like to talk?” Splinter asked gently. He did not want to prod, but he wanted the brothers to be able to talk comfortably. “The boys know not to come into the dojo while meditation is happening, so you can talk freely.”

It was a rule that had been put in place as the boys were growing up, after one too many instances of Raphael chasing Michelangelo around, or Donatello bursting in with a new invention.

“What was it like?” Leo finally asked after sitting silently for a few minutes, a conflicted look in his eyes.

Splinter tilted his head slightly. “What was what like, my son?”

Leo kept his eyes on his hands, playing with a bracelet on his wrist. “Not being human. Just being… a rat.” His face closed off, calm replacing the flash of hurt. “Hamato Yoshi started off as a human, and that was always something he wanted to be again. He originally bought us as pets and only took us as his sons after he was mutated.”

The day that Splinter met Hamato Yoshi, he would smack the man with his tail so hard that he would fly into a wall. The hesitation on the child’s face in front of him pained Splinter’s heart, and he hated that there had once been a time when Leo would ask questions happily and without having to worry about being scolded, a time that was long gone.

“I gained a human consciousness after being injected with the mutagen. While I have always been a rat, I have also always loved my sons as a human would love their own children.” Splinter explained, keeping his voice gentle. “When we met April again, I told her that I had vowed to love the boys as her father had loved her.”

“But you never wanted to be a human?” Leo asked, almost desperately as he looked at Splinter.

He reached out, placing a hand on the turtle’s arm. “No. I am happy with how I am.”

Leo’s shoulders sagged, and he shifted from being on his knees to sitting in a criss-cross position. He rested his chin on his hands. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened.”

“Would you like to walk through it?” Splinter asked, pouring Leo a cup of tea and placing it in front of him.

“I just… he picked me to be the leader of my brothers because he trusted me. He trusted my judgement and that I would be able to have a level head.” Leo began, not drinking the tea but holding the warm cup in his hands. He looked down at the liquid, studying it. He still spoke tentatively, as though worried about upsetting Splinter. “I didn’t even realize what was happening until I noticed Raph reacting. I wanted to keep the peace, and in doing so, I think I hurt my brothers more.” Here, Leo paused to take a sip, and something twisted in his face. The guarded expression faded, and his eyes filled with tears as he took a second sip of tea, taking a deep breath before continuing to speak. “He chose me, but I can’t even trust him anymore because of what’s happened, and I’ve been second-guessing what that means for me. I’ve put so much of myself into who I am as a leader. Who he turned me into.”

His voice broke slightly, and Splinter could see right through the boy. “You worry that you will become like him.”

Leo nodded, placing the cup on the table. “I’m the reason Karai came back into our lives. I met her, and I brought her back to the lair.” He glanced at the entrance of the dojo, where Splinter could just barely make out the sounds of multiple voices as the brothers outside talked and laughed with each other. “I love my brothers so much, and I don’t want to hurt them again.”

“You did not hurt them, Leo.” Splinter said calmly. “You have a kind heart, my son, and your family is your rock, your life. You have done so much for them, and you wanted to do something for your father.” Splinter hated even calling the man that word. He did not deserve that position, not after what he had done to the four wonderful boys he now saw as more sons. “You cannot look into the future. You did not know who Karai was when you met.”

A weight seemed to lift off of Leo’s shoulders, and he looked lighter. His shoulders sagged slightly, and he picked up his cup again, drinking slowly.

“How did you pick Leonardo to lead the group?” he asked after finishing off his tea.

Splinter chuckled quietly, refilling both of their cups. “The boys deferred to him during training when they were young.” He remembered the time training his sons, how they grew and matured, finding their own positions in their team. “They are all the same age, but their personalities are all so different. Leonardo and Raphael butted heads at first, but in the end, Raphael was the one who told me to make Leonardo the leader.” Splinter remembered the evening his second-oldest had approached him, asking if they could talk. He had not been surprised in the slightest when Raphael had all but demanded that his father make Leonardo their leader. When he found out, Leonardo had promptly told Raphael that he would be his second in command, and Splinter had just smiled at the interaction. “You and Leonardo are so similar, my son. You both think so far ahead into the future, imagining the worst possible situation that can happen. That can be a blessing, but it is also a curse.”

“Raph tells me I overthink things sometimes.” Leo said with a grin, obviously not offended by his twin’s statement.

“I imagine he does.” Splinter chuckled. He sobered, however, looking intently at his son. “Overthinking leads to spiraling, and the belief that things are your fault when they are very much not. What Hamato Yoshi did is on him, and it is in no way your fault, my son. You were trying to be a kind son, and he twisted that.”

Leo looked less pained, and more thoughtful after listening to what Splinter said, and his following question was not one fueled by sadness, but curiosity. “If you and your sons had the chance to be human, would you take it?”

Splinter thought for a moment. He thought of the life he had with his sons, their lair, their oasis beneath the city. He thought of them growing up and being able to have lives that he never imagined they’d experience. He looked back at Leo with a firm shake of his head. “I would not.” Leo leaned forward, curiosity making his eyes wide. “My sons have already gone through that choice, and it nearly tore them apart. In the end, they decided not to take it. I have never known what it is like to be human.” He had occasionally wondered, but Splinter had never felt the pull to be human. He was content with his life. “The boys have human friends, and they have the trust and respect of the human police after working with them to fight the Shredder. I believe there are even some humans who know of their existence outside of the ones I know of.”

Particularly, the human siblings that Leonardo and Raphael had been not-so-subtly visiting every week or so, but Splinter would not open that can or worms. He was patient to wait until his sons’ approached him with their very obvious crushes and go from there.

“I haven’t told my brothers this,” Leo began, dropping his voice to a quieter tone as though his brothers could hear through the walls of the dojo, “but sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he had never taken us from the pet store.” Splinter stayed quiet, letting the boy talk his thoughts through as they came to him. “Like, would we have stayed together? Would someone have bought us for their kids? Would we have been bought for an experiment, like the others were?” Leo took a deep breath, placing his arms on his knees and leaning forward. “I love being with my brothers, and being with April, Casey, Xever, and Chris, but I can’t stop feeling hurt and sad whenever I think about our days growing up.”

Splinter hummed quietly, acknowledging Leo’s words as he looked back up. He had wondered, once, many years ago, what his life might have looked like if Sacks had never set the fire in the lab, or if they had only kept him and never brought in the four baby turtles that changed his life for the better.

“There are days that I think about what happened in the lab. For the most part, we were treated well.” Splinter began. “Occasionally, however, Sacks did not always treat us with the same gentleness that April and her father did. Those days that I think about are painful memories.”

Leo looked almost desperate as he rested his hands on the table. “How do you still think about those days, then? Without being upset?”

Splinter reached out, taking one of Leo’s hands in his. “I remember the good.” He smiled, all the memories of his sons' training, laughing, and joking together coming to the forefront of his mind. “I remember watching April with the boys, and how they received so much love from her. I remember that those days are what led me to where I am now, with the sons I watched grow, and more sons to love, and other rats I now see as my own brothers.”

“Growing up, Raph was actually the one who found Space Heroes.” Leo reminisced quietly. He had mentioned to the others his love for the comic and television show, and it had amused everyone how quickly he had gotten on with Blue, who immediately began comparing it to Jupiter Jim. “He thought I’d enjoy it, so he found me some comics people had thrown away, and gave them to me.” Leo’s smile grew, and Splinter cherished the sight. “He jokes about hating it, but I know he will watch it if I ask because of how much it means to me.” Leo grew quiet again, and when he continued speaking, there was a more melancholic tone to his voice. “So many of our childhood memories have Hamato Yoshi in them.”

“So look back on them with joy, Leo.” Splinter said, squeezing his son’s hand tightly as if he could push the positive memories forward, and steal every painful memory from him. “The good memories are good. You do not need to feel guilty to remember those times in your life.”

Leo opened his mouth, closed it as if he was second-guessing his words, and then he spoke. His admission was quiet, as though he was ashamed. “I miss him. I miss who he was, how he treated us.”

Splinter sighed, sad and quiet. “You can miss him, my son.” Leo looked at him with surprised eyes. “But also, know that you have more fathers now who want to show you that same love and care that he once did.”

“That helps the hurt.” Leo said, sitting up straighter as something healed in his eyes. He looked around, taking in the dojo they sat in with a fond look. “He used to meditate with me. I loved doing that. It helped to center me, and it was something that kept me from overthinking.”

“I do the same with Leonardo.” Splinter said, and he reached for the teapot. “Would you like to meditate together, Leo?”

Leo beamed, open and soft. “Yes, please, Father.”

Leonardo joined them a few minutes later, entering the dojo and placing his weapons to the side. He sat beside Leo, nudging his younger brother’s shoulder playfully and making the boy roll his eyes in mock annoyance.

Splinter’s heart warmed at his sons’ interaction, and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply, and comforted by the knowledge that, no matter which ones they were, his sons would be safe and content in his presence for as long as he lived.

Chapter Text

Splinter knew that his relationship with his sons had gone through ups and downs.

He knew that there were times he was not the best father he could have been, but he and his boys had grown together, and their relationship was stronger than ever, especially after fighting against the Kraang.

Now, however, there was a new group of sons to grow with.

Splinter had seen their reactions when they had all first met.

There had been openness, warmth towards the others, a genuine excitement after the first few meetings. When it came to Splinter and his boys, there seemed to be another level of difficulty with connection.

Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey had heard the story of how Splinter found his sons, of his human life prior to mutation, and had almost immediately tensed. They listened as Blue told them excitedly about meeting Cassandra, then Karai, and getting to know them. The others had not noticed, but Splinter had seen the glimpse of sadness, and the flicker of envy on the faces of the boys.

It was not until he heard the whole story from them that he understood. Listening to the four brothers talk about their dimension, about their father who had once been human, it all made sense to Splinter.

Slowly but surely, the wall between the two groups fell, and all four quartets were getting along like they had known each other their entire lives. Splinter, in turn, found himself being trusted by the boys, and being pulled into more discussions as the weeks passed.

He was happy with the progress, happy to know that his own past no longer affected his relationship with the boys who now viewed him as a father.

On one of the occasions that they all visited Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey’s new lair, completely taking over the smaller space and filling it with laughter, Splinter found himself roaming about the rooms until he made his way gingerly into the lab.

He looked around, impressed and slightly amused at the various inventions and technology that were scattered around haphazardly. Donnie sat at a large table in the center of the lab, hunched over and focusing intently on a set of vials, a computer, and a microscope that sat in front of him. He saw the turtle look out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey, Papa Lou.” Donnie greeted, taking his attention away from his work to grin at Splinter happily.

Splinter returned the smile, sitting on the other stool at the table. “Hello, Donnie.” He looked down at the items scattered on the table, and the scribbled notes on the whiteboard behind them. “What are you working on?”

Donnie looked back at the vials, picking one up to place inside the centrifuge. “Chris mentioned a few side effects of the retro-mutagen I made for him and Xever, so I’ve been working on a new batch to compare.” He pulled out another vial, this one glowing orange, and he carefully placed it on top of the table. “It’s not wearing off, but his canines are sharper than ever, and Xever’s able to hold his breath for long periods of time under water, longer than any human should, so I’m thinking that the first batch left them with some characteristics.”

Splinter was once again extremely impressed by the boy’s intelligence, and his ability to create a reverse version of the very thing that had transformed him and his brothers.

“Who is this batch for?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Anyone we meet who wants to turn back?” Donnie shrugged, turning off the centrifuge for the moment while they talked. “I like having some on hand, just in case.”

Splinter hummed. “That is very smart.”

Donnie looked at him hesitantly, his hand resting on the tube of retro-mutagen. His gaze flicked between the two focuses of his attention, and he spoke in a quieter voice. “Do… do you want any?”

“No, thank you, Donnie. I am happy with how I am.” Splinter said with a small chuckle.

“Really?” Donnie’s voice was full of shock. He almost immediately backtracked, shoulders hunching forward as he drew back. “I mean, it’s just…”

Splinter studied his son’s reaction, narrowing his eyes slightly as he leaned forward. “The other version of Splinter that you knew, did he jump at the chance to return to his human state?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you mind if I am completely honest with you, Donnie?”

Donnie’s face brightened, and he placed his elbows on the table, resting his chin in his hands. “I’d prefer that, actually.”

“Good.” Splinter said, settling into his seat. This had been a conversation he had been hoping to have at one point. He paused briefly, thinking over the words he wanted to say before actually saying them. “Your Splinter always had a tether to his human side. Whether that was with the Shredder, or his wife and daughter. There was always a part of him that yearned to become human, and when his wife and daughter returned to his life, that part of his heart did not hesitate.” Donnie nodded, listening intently as Splinter spoke. “Any pull I had to my human life has long since disappeared. There were moments, when I was first mutated, that I wished my life had taken a different path, but as I grew older, my responsibility lay with my sons. The humans of the Hamato Clan are gone. Any human attachments I have are gone, whether through death or by my own decisions. The boys were my sons the moment they were mutated.”

“So you stuck with them because they were a responsibility?” Donnie asked, almost accusingly. Splinter went quiet for a moment, looking at him, and noting the hesitance behind his accusation, the worry for his new group of little brothers.

He picked his next words carefully, knowing that sugarcoating things would not work. He had a similar conversation with his own four boys just before the Kraang had arrived, so it was a conversation he had been prepared for. “At first, yes. I stayed with the boys because they were babies and had no one except for me. I knew I needed to protect them from Draxum and Big Mama, and anyone else who would want to hurt them.” Donnie cracked a small smile at the mention of Draxum, and Splinter shook his head in amusement, knowing how the young genius and his brothers were surprisingly attached to the former villain. Draxum had been a surprising addition to their ragtag family. “As time went on, however, I did truly come to love the boys as a father. It took some time, but now I cannot, and I do not, want to imagine my life without them in it.”

Donnie looked down at his work contemplatively. “We were originally bought as pets, you know. We weren’t supposed to be his kids, or anything like that.” A heavy sigh left him, and his head dropped onto the table. “I know he loved us. It wouldn’t hurt so much if he didn’t love us for eighteen years.”

“I think he did, Donnie. He still does care but I believe his sense of importance has been unbalanced.” Splinter said, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

“I asked him why, when I started making the retro-mutagen.” Donnie explained, voice slightly muffled from where his face was pressed against the metal of his lab table. “Why he needed it, why being human was so important.”

Splinter moved closer, keeping his hand on Donnie’s shoulder to encourage him to speak. “What did he say?”

“He didn’t really say anything about why he needed it, at first.” The story began quietly, the tone of voice a whisper as Splinter listened. “He made it sound like Tang Shen and Karai would be more comfortable, which I actually understood. Karai’s mutation was against her will, and I don’t even know how Tang Shen got mutated. So really, it was fine.”

“You wanted to help them as you helped your friends.” Splinter realized.

Donnie looked up, keeping his head resting on his arm as he twisted to look at his father. “Exactly. Plus, with April’s dad, I’d seen what it meant to people who had been mutated against their will.” His eyes went to the orange liquid lying on the table. “So making it for the two of them, it made sense.”

“When did Hamato Yoshi tell you it was for him as well?”

A quiet beat. “Probably a few weeks before Raph finally lost his cool.” Donnie remembered, tapping his fingers. “I was working in the lab, and he stopped in, and asked me how things were going. While we were talking, he sat down and told me that he had been wondering if I would be able to make one more dose for him.” He straightened up, stretching his arms above his head while he spoke. His tone did not sound bitter or resentful, simply as though he was remembering something casual that had happened to him. “I don’t know if he was planning on telling the others, but I told the other three as soon as I was done for the day.” Splinter was not surprised by that. He knew from his own boys that it was near impossible for any version of the four brothers to not tell each other every single thing that happened to them. It was something he loved and admired about all of his sons. “I genuinely think he had good intentions about it. I think he was trying to have the best of both worlds, but him wanting to be human… that told us where his priorities were.”

Splinter’s heart broke for Donnie, thinking about how hopeful he must have been. “Do you think he would have tried to keep up both ends?”

“Absolutely.” Donnie said, voice firm as he looked at Splinter. “Him being human, though, it would have changed things.” His gaze returned to the items on the table, and his hand reached out, rolling one of the empty smaller vials between his fingers. “I still love him. He still was our dad for eighteen years, as messed up as it got at the end.”

“You are not as angry as your brothers are?” Splinter asked gently.

Donnie laughed, a slightly bitter, almost disbelieving sound. “Oh, I’m still pissed.” His hazel eyes were bright with a brief flash of anger. “I think it’s because I somehow ended up spending the most time with him during those last few months we got. I actually saw the rationalization and his side more than my brothers did. It doesn’t make things right, but it makes the anger less all-consuming for me.”

Splinter was relieved, at least, that Donnie felt something. He was happy that the boy did not just write off what Hamato Yoshi had done, and instead acknowledged that it was messed up. “Do you regret it?”

“Making the retro-mutagen for them?” Donnie clarified, and Splinter nodded. “Surprisingly, no.” He looked to the entrance of the lab, as though making sure no one was listening. “I know I see things differently than my brothers. I look at things from a more analytical standpoint, and it honestly wasn’t much of a surprise when he asked about himself becoming human. It hurt, of course it did, because I was still holding onto hope that he’d at least make more of an attempt to think of how his decision would affect us.”

Splinter’s heart swelled with pride and affection for his son. “Is that why you and your brothers were hesitant about connecting with my sons and I?” Donnie’s determined face immediately dropped, and a guilty expression appeared as he refused to meet Splinter’s eyes. “I did notice, you know. I don’t hold it against you four at all.”

Donnie sighed. “It was really a mix of things.” He smiled sadly. “You’re the other Splinter who was once a human, and seeing you stick around for your sons brought up a lot of emotions. Plus, you guys have a Karai, even if she’s a ghost, who wants to help and be a part of your family.” His fingers resumed tapping on the table. “Cassandra is also kind of who we all had hoped Karai would be like.”

He could actually feel his heart shatter in his chest.

Splinter had felt a hunch about why the boys had taken so long, but the idea that they looked to Splinter’s family, and saw the one they may have been able to have? That hurt him, and he wanted nothing more than to draw every single one of his boys into his arms, and make up for lost time by telling them how much he loved each and every one of them.

“They are your family now as well. Karai and Cassandra.” Splinter decided to remind Donnie, his voice taking on a rare, gentle tone he only had when speaking with his boys. “They love you four as much as my boys, and I love you and your brothers as much as my own.”

“That helps.” Donnie admitted, smile growing as he moved to lean against Splinter, who happily wrapped an arm around one of his Purples. “Seeing you all, and seeing how much you care.”

Splinter rested his forehead against Donnie’s for a moment, and Donnie let out a contented sound. “Will you show me what you are working on?”

Donnie immediately perked up, eyes sparkling as he began diving into a detailed explanation of his experiments. “I took some blood samples from Chris and Xever, so now I’m looking at their DNA makeup to see where the retro-mutagen failed, and what got left behind.” He whirled around on his seat, pulling Splinter to follow after him as he pointed to the whiteboard. “They actually told me they don’t hate the side effects, so I’ll probably leave it, but I want to use this information just in case we ever have a need for a retro-mutagen again.”

Splinter simply listened, watching with a full heart as Donnie’s face lit up more and more, hands waving around as he talked animatedly. He was happy to sit, soaking in his son’s data points and ideas for analysis, understanding nothing but the importance of being there, and letting him speak.

Chapter Text

Splinter was a very simple rat.

His home was simple, his life (for the most part) was simple, and he very much preferred it that way. He knew what he liked, and what he did not like, and he rarely changed those opinions.

He knew that he liked his martial arts, he loved his home, and he loved the life he had created with his family. He knew he did not like the TCRI company, he did not like Superfly, and he did not, under any circumstances, like it when his boys were upset or hurt.

Splinter had once also disliked humans, but that opinion had changed after the people of New York City reached out their hands and helped him save his boys. He could not dislike the reason that his sons were alive and able to live out happy lives.

One of the main parts of Splinter’s life that he was completely and utterly unchanging on was his love for his sons.

His boys were his entire life. He had not known much before being mutated, simply going through a monotonous life of scavenging and being chased away. Meeting his sons and being mutated had been the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The second-best thing that had ever happened to Splinter was meeting the three other versions of his sons, and getting to spoil and love them just as much as his own four boys. It was as though the universe had known how much love he held, and gave him even more sons to compensate for being overflowed with affection for the most incredible children he had ever known.

It was not a surprise that Splinter found himself drawn to the saddest group of boys, with their tired eyes and tense shoulders.

His conversation with Raph on the rooftop, the day that they had met, had nearly made Splinter’s vision white with rage. It took a moment, after he had stopped hugging his crying son, to calm himself down and not chase after the human that had caused his babies so much hurt.

After that day, Splinter kept a special eye on that group. He watched as they transformed, their walls falling, their eyes growing lighter and happier, and their other siblings happily bringing them into their lives without hesitation.

Other than Raph, Splinter found himself growing a soft spot for Mikey, whose bright blue eyes and infectious laugh lit up every single room that he entered.

Mikey had gone through a large change in the time that Splinter had known him. He had entered his life quiet, eyes sad and lost, and clinging to his older brothers. As they grew more comfortable, and talked about what they had gone through, Mikey’s eyes regained a spark that never seemed to leave them, and he smiled and laughed without a care in the world.

Splinter loved it.

He especially loved when he was able to simply just sit and talk with his boys.

The families had gotten together in Splinter’s dimension, turning the lair into a loud din of laughter and conversation as the boys and their humans played games, trained with their fathers, or simply sat and talked.

Splinter had chosen to sit in the kitchen, where Mikey had sat himself beside him at the table, and immediately dove into telling stories of his childhood and adventures. He listened happily as Mikey waved his arms around, telling the story of how he and his brothers met their version of Leatherhead.

“Leatherhead was all ‘argggggg, I’m going to swing you around’, and Donnie wouldn’t stop screaming, and then I got him to calm down, and now he’s one of my best friends!” Mikey said, giggling as he finished talking.

Splinter let out his own laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. He was still shocked by the things that his sons had gone through. “Really?”

“Yeah, he’s a great buddy to hang out with.” Mikey said, clear affection for his friends in his eyes. “Plus, now he’s got the Mutanimals, so they’re like a family, and he’s not alone anymore!”

“It is truly wonderful how you are able to make friends out of your former enemies, Mikey.” Splinter said, and his son immediately flushed, looking down with a happy expression.

He shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant. “I like making friends.” Looking back up, Mikey motioned towards the doorway, where the sounds of Chris shouting teasingly at Raph and Raphael could be heard. “Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but honestly, I haven’t had one bite me in the shell yet! I don’t even count RadBrad as a failure, because we’re friends now!”

Splinter reached out, resting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder, which the young turtle instantly leaned into. “You have a good heart, Mikey.” The happy face before him fell slightly, eyes dimming for a moment before lighting up again. Splinter frowned. “What is that face?”

Mikey went quiet, but Splinter was patient.

With any version of the boys, it seemed to be a common theme that they occasionally needed a brief moment to think over their words. Splinter would wait for however long he needed to, giving his boy the time to figure out his words, and speak up.

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe that we have you all.” Mikey finally said. His tone was solid, but his eyes looked up uncertainly at Splinter. “Like, the bros and I lived fifteen years of our lives with literally just each other and Splinter, and then we met April, then Casey, and suddenly we’ve got groups of friends and more siblings that care about us.” A small laugh left him, a sound of disbelief that Splinter had not heart before. “If I told little kid me that this is how things would look, he’d lose his shit.”

“Language.” Splinter said, raising an eyebrow, and Mikey snickered.

“Sorry.”

His apology was accompanied by a grin that made it altogether unapologetic.

Splinter picked up on the almost wistful tone in Mikey’s voice from his words, so he approached the subject, leaning closer. “You were lonely, growing up?”

Mikey nodded, crossing his arms on the table, and leaning forward to rest his head on them as he talked. “I think that’s part of why I’m so energetic now. The lair was so big, and it could be so quiet sometimes, that I wanted to fill up the silence. It made me happy, and it made my brothers happy.”

Splinter reached out, resting a hand on Mikey’s head, and he made a happy sound at the feeling.

“I am in awe of how much you care for your brothers, Mikey.” the rat praised.

“It was the same thing when we were in space.”

Splinter’s smile fell slightly, and he cocked his head. “How do you mean?”

Mikey took a deep breath. “Well, a group of aliens had just invaded earth, and Splinter got stabbed in the back by Shredder, so our morale wasn’t the highest at that point.” Splinter winced at his words, once again adding to his list of dislikes. He did not like that his boys were so accustomed to the pain of losing a parent, and being left on their own. “I think it was especially difficult, because right before Splinter died, things were going so well. Xever and Chris had joined us in fighting, and it was actually kind of cool to see Splinter and Shredder fighting beside each other.” A nostalgic expression spread over Mikey’s face as he stared at the wall of the kitchen. “We heard so many stories from him about how they used to be such good friends, but seeing it was a completely different thing.”

“Fugitoid saved you all, correct?” Splinter prodded. The boys had been very forthcoming about their time in space, and the fondness they held for the robot that had helped them had been clear.

“Yeah, but it was so quiet for those first few days.” Mikey confessed. “We were processing Earth being destroyed, and Splinter and all our other friends being gone, so things were pretty bleak.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and Splinter continued to gently run his hand over the boy’s head soothingly. “I just wanted to help everyone feel better, but it was hard, in the beginning.”

Splinter frowned. “It is not your responsibility to make everyone happy, Mikey.” Mikey opened his eyes, watching his father, who continued speaking gently. “I know you like being able to do that, but it is important for you to understand that the weight of keeping spirits up should not be only on your shoulders.”

At that, Mikey’s quiet demeanor fell, and a smaller smile appeared on his face as he nodded. “I know!” He straightened up, and Splinter’s hand went to rest on his arm. “Leo’s our leader, Donnie’s the genius, Raph’s our protector, and I’m the peacemaker.”

“I prefer peacemaker as your label.” Splinter said warmly.

“The bros started saying that after we got back from space.” Mikey said, pride clear in his voice. “I’m the one that’s usually able to calm Raph down or snap him out of a nightmare, and I’ve been the one to turn a lot of enemies we’ve fought against into friends that we can trust.”

Splinter laughed at that, making Mikey brighten even more. “You and your younger brothers have that in common.” He thought of the mutants he had once thought of as enemies, now some of the best friends his sons had in their lives. “When they first met the other mutants and got to know them, it was because they wanted so desperately to meet others who understood them. They are the reason that we can consider them all our friends.”

Mikey puffed up dramatically. “I’ve tought them a couple of my tricks.”

He laughed, and Splinter joined a moment later, chuckling at the dramatics.

There was a moment of calmness after, but Splinter saw a glimpse of the same pain that had once completely taken over Mikey’s face. “Are you still struggling?”

“A little bit.” Mikey confessed. “Honestly, seeing how the little bros behave has helped a lot. I feel a lot less self-concious, and I’ve been letting loose a lot more.”

“Having your own space helps as well, I assume?” Splinter asked.

Mikey nodded happily. “I love our new lair!” Splinter had been overjoyed when the boys had visited a few weeks prior, excitedly inviting everyone to their new home. “Raph’s painting a mural in each of our rooms, which is huge because for the longest time, all his murals were just on his own walls!” Raph’s art also now decorated each lair, a painting for each group of brothers as a gift for their birthdays. “Plus, it just feels like… ours.”

“Like here?”

“Exactly!” Mikey said, pointing to Splinter in agreement before motioning to the room around them. “The old lair was too big. I remember growing up, and there were times I’d get legitimately lost because I’d take a wrong turn.” Splinter had not known that. That was an event that was filed away for later use, to be brought up and added to the other fathers' plan of confrontation against Hamato Yoshi. “Our lair now, it’s still big, but big enough for us. With April and Casey staying with us, and Chris and Xev visiting, and all of you, it doesn’t feel nearly as empty.”

“I am very happy to hear that.” Splinter took a moment before offering his own confession, knowing it would help his son be more comforted. “When we were first mutated, and I found this place, I felt the same way you do about your old lair. It was almost too quiet, to the point I was worried I’d go crazy.” Mikey snorted, and Splinter shot him a semi-stern look. “I was!” Mikey nodded with mock-seriousness, making his father huff. “Having the boys did help, because I was so focused on raising and training them, but when night fell, the silence was very loud.”

“How did you get past that?” Mikey asked curiously.

Splinter bit back a wince of his own. “That was when I attempted to bring the boys into Times Square.” Mikey inhaled sharply. “After that failed, I resolved to bring the noise here. Music, technology, all so we would not be stuck in the silence.”

“But now, you can actually go out and about.”

“We can, but the boys are more comfortable doing that than I am.” Splinter said, though he was immensely grateful to the fact that his boys could simply be outside and live, and not worry about being judged. “It’s still nice to know we can do that. When the silence gets too loud again, I can just pop outside.” He nudged Mikey’s arm gently. “You can do that, too.”

Mikey threw his arms up. “Which is so weird!” His hands went back to waving as he talked, a sign Splinter had picked up on as him becoming comfortable and at ease. “I’m so used to hiding, and then we come here, and we can actually walk out in the daylight with the little bros and not have people run screaming!”

Splinter stood, going to Mikey’s side, and pulling the young turtle into a hug. “You do not have to hide here.”

“That’s what’s helping me, Pops.” His voice was quiet, almost a whisper as he returned the hug tightly. “The people here… they’re just excited to see us, and talk to us. I don’t have to hide myself from you, or my brothers, or my other dads, or my friends.”

“Never.” Splinter pulled back, holding Mikey’s face in his paws, and narrowing his eyes slightly. “If you ever try to hide yourself again, I will hit you with my tail.”

Mikey burst into laughter at the threat, and Splinter beamed. The serious atmosphere was broken, and the sparkle was back in Mikey’s eyes as they turned to leave the kitchen, making their way back towards the living room where most of their family was gathered.

“So, Pops, can you explain to me why the little bros are so concerned about being milked?”

“That is a real and valid concern, Michelangelo!”

Mikey’s laughter filled the lair, and Splinter wanted to bottle the sound.

Yes, one thing was as sure as the sun would rise, and that was the love that Splinter would always hold for his sons, every one of them that he knew.

Chapter Text

Hamato Yoshi had been through many events in his life.

Oroku Saki had been his brother. They had grown up with one another, and their families had considered the other a son despite no blood connection.

Tang Shen was the love of his life, his soulmate. Yoshi still had moments where he truly could not believe that she ever chose him as her husband, as gentle and kind as she was. She had been everything to him, and then they had been blessed with a daughter.

Miwa was the jewel that crowned Yoshi’s happiness. His precious daughter, his flower. He had not known that a human could feel so much happiness until her birth.

When he lost both Tang Shen and Miwa, Yoshi did not want to be close to any other humans. The betrayal of his best friend, his brother, stung every time he considered looking to others for support.

His move to New York City had been a new start, and the four baby turtles Yoshi had found were meant to be a way to keep himself from falling apart with grief.

The mutagen had changed everything for Yoshi.

Suddenly, he now had four sons to take care of, tiny babies as precious as his Miwa had been. They relied on him, and Yoshi could not simply abandon them. They became his sons, and he was their father.

For fifteen years, Yoshi taught his sons, loved them, and watched them grow. He watched, rather reluctantly, as they ventured to the surface and began to fight against the Kraang, the Foot Clan, and the Shredder.

Yoshi had vowed not to lose any more children to Oroku Saki.

Ironically, it turned out that Oroku Saki was not the reason he lost his sons.

Tang Shen and Miwa, now Karai, coming back into his life was a blessing Yoshi never believed he would receive. It seemed too good to be true, having his love, his daughter, and his sons all together.

Yoshi had been blinded by the relief he had felt, and that had led to his four sons building walls too tall for him to climb. He blinked, and he was human, his wife and daughter were human, and his sons were gone, both physically and emotionally.

Their old lair, the one they had grown up in and made a home, was abandoned. Yoshi had returned a few weeks after the implosion, and had felt a knife in his heart at the empty space. The television, the books, the posters, all of his sons’ belongings, were gone.

He knew they were not dead. He still saw them patrolling at night, alone at the start. As the weeks passed, Yoshi watched as they were joined, always by April and Casey, and occasionally by the Mutanimals, Chris Bradford, and Xever Montes.

(The latter two had been a surprise for Yoshi. He observed the way the turtles behaved around their two former enemies, and the comfort and friendliness they treated each other with made Yoshi wonder how long they had been speaking. He wondered how much his sons had kept from him during those final few months of having them in his life.)

He watched as his four sons became strangers, and the quiet of their patrols was traded for laughter and shouted jokes as they rushed past Yoshi’s new home.

It was bittersweet, when he would hear their voices. He was happy that his sons were happy, but his chest felt tight when he remembered that they did not have that happiness around him or his family.

Tang Shen and Karai had left for the evening, and Yoshi had bid them farewell with a smile. He loved that they were learning to know one another, their bond of mother and daughter serving as the catalyst for a wonderful relationship.

He had decided to go to the roof, to enjoy the cool evening air.

It was there that his tranquility was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the concrete.

Raph stood a few feet away, eyes wide and body tense as he looked at Yoshi. “Oh, right.” His second eldest son turned, obviously meaning to leave, but Yoshi could not let the opportunity to speak pass him by.

“Please wait.”

“What could you possibly want?” Raph’s voice was full of vitriol, and Yoshi recognized the tightening of his shoulders as his usual defensive mechanism.

“To talk.” he said, hands held out placatingly. Still tense, Raph took his foot off of the ledge of the building. He did not move closer, but his resigned expression gave Yoshi hope. He attempted a small smile. “You look well. Are your brothers doing well?”

Raph sighed with exasperation, rolling his eyes in such a familiar way that Yoshi’s heart ached. “Okay, so I really am not in the mood for small talk, so just say what you clearly are bursting with desperation to say.”

His animosity was not surprising, but it still hurt to have the anger directed at him.

“Believe it or not, I have missed you all very much.”

At those words, Raph scoffed, arms crossing. “Sure.”

“Do you hate me that much? Do you truly believe I do not still care for you four?” Yoshi could not help but ask, taking his own step forward.

“I don’t hate you.” Raph snapped back. “I don’t hate you, because I barely think about you anymore. You are a blip on my radar that I never want to check on.”

Yoshi sat on the ledge, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he looked at the gravel on the rooftop. “Will you understand that I do truly miss you, my son?”

To his immense surprise, Yoshi saw Raph sit down out of the corner of his eye. “Not your son.” He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for their conversation. “But, sure, let’s say I do understand that you miss us. I can even accept that.” Yoshi lifted his head, eyebrows raising, but Raph pushed forward. “But what I can’t accept is that you, in any way, deserve my pity for where your life has led. The fact that you’re missing us? That’s all because of your decision, the things you did.”

“I had hoped that things would be able to be worked out.” Yoshi admitted quietly, and Raph let out an aggravated sound. It reminded him of the sounds his sons would make when they were just starting to train, and they would have difficulty with moves. It almost made him smile fondly.

“Do you still not understand how much you hurt us?” Raph asked.

Yoshi kept his own emotions level as he met Raph’s sharp gaze. “Hurt or not, you are still my sons.”

“That might be so, because, yeah, we’ve got your DNA in us, but that’s about all that keeps us together now.” Raph rested back on his palms, tilting his head up to look at the dark sky. “You are not my dad.”

“I was, once.” Yoshi knew his voice was shaking, but he could not find it in himself to care.

Raph looked at him, something curious in his eyes. “You were.” He kept their gazes locked as he spoke, a familiarity in his voice. “You were the best dad, for those first fifteen years, honestly. You kept us safe, taught us, let us be who we wanted to be without having to worry.”

Yoshi wanted to reach forward, to take his son’s hand, to hold him close. “You boys were everything to me.”

“You made us feel that way.” Raph said before looking back at the sky, his voice wavering slightly. “That’s part of why it hurt so much when everything happened. For so long, you had been our devoted father, and you had always given us your priorities.”

“So you were upset because I did not have all my focus on you?”

Yoshi did not mean for his words to come out incredulous, but they did, and Raph looked back at him, jaw dropping slightly in shock.

“I said that was part of it. Come on, even after all that shit, you can’t honestly believe we’re that selfish?”

“Of course you are not.”

Raph stood, beginning to pace in front of Yoshi as he spoke. “On one hand, yes, it was the fact that you had just switched your focus.” His hands began waving as he almost ranted, his voice rising. “On the other hand, it was how easily you changed your mind on using retro-mutagen.” Raph stilled, facing Yoshi head-on, and his green eyes were now ablaze with anger. “For so long, when Donnie was thinking about creating it, you had always told us you didn’t want to become human again. It wasn’t important to you, because your family was already around you.”

Yoshi stood as well, taking a step towards Raph. “I did not lie to you. I love you and your brothers. The way we came to be a family was unorthodox, but I would not change that.”

“You’re not hearing me!” Raph burst out, voice now at a shouting level as he threw his arms up. “It’s not about how much you love us, it’s the fact that for so long, you told my brothers and I that you didn’t care about becoming human. You told us we were your family, and you did not have any need to become human.” His voice broke, and Yoshi’s heart broke to see tears in his eyes. “Then, Tang Shen and Karai came along, and suddenly you changed your tune. You wanted to become human because they were around.”

“They were mutated against their will, Raphael.” Yoshi said softly.

Raph let out a laugh, something sharp and angry instead of the joyful one that Yoshi was so used to hearing. “I understand that!” He dropped his hands, and his gaze went to his feet. “God, do you forget how many mutants we fought against that had been mutated against their will? Snakeweed, Chris, Xever, all of them?” Yoshi shook his head. He knew how much fighting the boys had been through. He knew what they had done, how they had been hurt, and their victories. “I was looking forward to having a mom and a sister, honestly. We’d get to be a big family, you’d be whole again.”

“I wanted that as well.” Yoshi admitted. He felt wrong-footed, vulnerable in a way he never had been before. “I had my wife and daughter back, Saki was gone, and for a moment, everyone in my life was safe.”

Raph sat back down, this time less tense. Most of the anger in his eyes had disappeared, replaced by an exhaustion Yoshi had never seen before. “When you approached Donnie about the retro-mutagen, did it cross your mind that we wouldn’t be able to use it?”

Yoshi thought back to when he had first discussed his idea with Donnie, and he was ashamed to realize that it had never come up between them. “I did not want to think about that.” He sat beside Raph, less space between them, and felt a small burst of joy when his son did not immediately move away. “I was foolishly optimistic that things would work out perfectly.”

“You raised us for eighteen years before they came along. You spent so much time raising us and caring for us.” Raph’s voice was soft as he spoke, the same exhaustion in his eyes now bleeding into his tone. “I don’t mean to be blunt, but you did not know Karai before Leo brought her to the lair.” Yoshi tensed at his words, but he bit his tongue, not wanting to lose the opportunity to actually talk. “I get that she’s your daughter, but you have no idea how much it hurt that you chose a girl who had just recently been trying to kill us over your four sons.”

“I-”

Raph cut him off with a look, an expression of judgement that Yoshi had only ever seen directed at his son’s enemies. “There is literally nothing you can say to make that situation better in any way. That’s what you did.”

“You are all my children, Raphael. Tell me, am I supposed to love you more than her?” Yoshi knew his voice was pleading, he knew that he could do little to bridge the gap that he now saw between them, but he still tried. “Am I to be vilified for wanting my children to be happy?”

“You loved her more than us.” Raph said simply, and Yoshi drew back as if he had just been struck. “You can deny it, but that’s how it came off. You picked her over the four of us without a second thought. You didn’t even try to talk to Donnie about the possibility of a retro-mutagen that latches onto our human DNA. You never once even thought of how we might be impacted by your decisions.”

The cold truth that came from Raph held a mirror to Yoshi’s decisions that he had never wanted to truly acknowledge. He had spent weeks thinking over what had happened between himself and his sons. He had wondered where things had gone wrong, and what could have been done differently. He could now admit that he should have done more, that he should not have simply brushed the boys’ thoughts and admissions away without any acknowledgement.

Yoshi could not hold back the tears that welled in his eyes as he stared at the boy who had once been his son. “Perhaps I was too optimistic. I was blinded by the joy I felt at having the family I thought long dead returned to me.” He cleared his throat, wanting to speak without falling to pieces. “When I saw Tang Shen, the only thought in my head was that I wanted our life again, the life we once had.” Yoshi smiled slightly, wondering about what might have been. “So much had been taken from me by Oroku Saki, and that I had it all back again made every rational part of myself go silent.”

Raph played with the broken bits of concrete on the ledge, pushing the pebbles around without looking. “We were just as happy for you. We had seen you mourn them for years, and those days before everything went wrong, when you were happy, and we were happy because of that? I look back on that and I’m not angry. I’m just sad that it could not continue that way.”

A silence fell over the two, and Yoshi thought of how much had changed in his life since the turtles had first come into it.

He had once had a best friend.

He had once had a wife and daughter.

He lost all three of those.

He had once had four sons.

He lost all four of them, but had regained his wife and daughter.

“I will always love you and your brothers, Raphael.” Yoshi said, breaking the silence.

Raph stayed quiet for a few more moments before he spoke. “I know that. Maybe that’s what makes the hurt keep persisting.”

“But those… others…” Yoshi tried to keep the sting of bitterness out of his voice. “They help you?”

“Yes.” Raph’s face lit up in a way that Yoshi had never seen before. Suddenly, every bit of tension, sadness, and anger that had been in his eyes transformed. He looked to Yoshi with that expression, an expression not meant for him. Not anymore. “Listen, I’ll say this again. I don’t hate you. Not anymore.” He stood, stepping away from Yoshi and looking out over the skyline of the city contemplatively. “I’ve spent the past year healing, and finding a family full of people who love my brothers and I so much that it’s overwhelming sometimes.” A smile appeared on his face that stole Yoshi’s breath. It was as though he was looking at a completely different person before him as Raph spoke. “We meditate, train, and have movie nights. In one of the dimensions, we’re able to just walk around during the daytime because the people of New York know about mutants and are actually fine with them.” Raph looked down at Yoshi a final time. “What you did? It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Yoshi stood as well, his heart hurting more than it had in years, but knowing he had to accept things as they were. “Then I will be content with that.” Raph nodded, and began to walk away from him, going to the edge of the building on the other side to continue his patrol. Unable to stop himself, Yoshi reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. “May I ask one final question, before you leave?”

Raph looked at him as he was released, and nodded. “Sure.”

“Will you ever see me as your father again?”

Yoshi’s question hung in the air as he waited with bated breath for the answer that he hoped would come.

Raph cocked his head, and there was a determined finality to his words. “You’ll always be my father. You’re just not my dad anymore.” He turned, and called over his shoulder as he walked away, “Goodbye, Hamato Yoshi.”

Yoshi watched him leave the roof, leaping off to join his brothers in friends. “Goodbye, Raphael.”