Chapter Text
"Bdubs, how long until you're ready?" Etho called, from the living room.
Bdubs fought a groan — he was nearly ready, thank you very much, and the stupid concert wasn't for another hour, and the venue was only a five minute drive away! "Coming!" He shouted back anyway.
Etho poked his head through the bathroom door. "You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." He grumbled. Etho had two tickets to see a band called The Rejects, a name Bdubs thought was stupid. He'd only managed to get them because Etho was friends with the drummer, a guy named Joel, who Bdubs had learned a lot about, but never met.
"I don't want to be late, Bdubs."
When Etho had first presented him with the tickets, only a week ago, Bdubs had scoffed. He didn't want to go, really. He much preferred wrapping himself in a cosy blanket and spending his evenings napping. But Etho had convinced him, with the promise that the band was good — although Bdubs thought that Etho was there for Joel more than he was there for the music.
"I know." Bdubs rolled his eyes. "Lemme just-" He adjusted his hair in the mirror- "There. Do I look ok?"
Bdubs didn't know what the unofficial dress code was for the event, so he'd gone with something a bit on the basic side — a white t-shirt, paired with black ripped jeans and a red bandana for a pop of colour.
"You look fine." He shrugged, looking at his watch. "But we really should go soon."
Etho was just wearing his day to day outfit, a green vest and some black pants, alongside a mask that covered the majority of his face. It made Bdubs feel slightly better about his worry that he was underdressed, but Etho didn't care about these things much. So maybe they were both underdressed.
"It's not for another hour, though, Etho." Bdubs frowned.
"You're meant to get there early. Joel said half an hour at the latest."
"Who even is Joel?" Bdubs muttered.
"Oh, Joel's brilliant!" The smile in Etho's voice seeped into his voice, poisoning every word. "He's so cool, Bdubs, you should see him playing the drums. It's so impressive."
"Oh, yeah he's probably so awesome." Bdubs muttered.
Etho nodded. "He is! Although, uh, we should go soon."
Etho drove, and Bdubs sat in the passenger seat. Staring out of the window, Bdubs let his thoughts run wild. He remembered initially thinking that the concert was supposed to be a date, a thought he immediately had to force down; he and Etho were exes. They were on good terms. The breakup was mutual. He'd said that to his reflection enough times to believe it.
But no, it was all Joel this and Joel that and Bdubs, how awesome is Joel?
He didn't even know what Joel looked like. He had a green streak in his hair, apparently (which was cool), that, in Bdubs' head, looked like something had taken root in his hair and infested it. He was short, too. Bdubs couldn't even have one thing.
At least Bdubs had known Etho longer, he thought to himself, trying to quell his jealousy.
But Joel seemed more important, at the minute. No. That wasn't right. It just felt like Etho talked about Joel a lot, while Bdubs talked about Etho a lot. Etho was his best friend, but Joel was Etho's. Ok, maybe Joel was more important. Maybe Bdubs should stop thinking about Joel entirely and start talking with Etho, the very real person sitting next to him.
"Why do you like Joel so much?" Bdubs turned his head to Etho. He hadn't meant to say it, but once the words escaped his mouth, he couldn't really stop them. So much for not thinking about Joel.
"I- I don't!" Etho chuckled nervously, redness flooding the edge of his mask. Oh.
"You do!" Bdubs pointed at Etho. "Oh my god, I was joking!" He groaned, falling back into his seat.
"Careful there, it's starting to sound like you're jealous!"
"I am not!" He huffed. "I'm so over you."
"Yeah, sure you are."
Bdubs didn't know how Etho managed to keep the warmth in his voice. It made him want to disappear, that small part of him still calling Etho's name overpowering the rest of his body. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
"Well, I am. And I'm gonna prove it. Just you watch!"
Etho chuckled, and Bdubs felt the little that remained of his heart shatter.
The rest of the drive was spent listening to Etho ramble on about some TV show that he was watching, something Bdubs didn't care about. Joel probably cared about it, he thought, before he squashed it down.
"Here we are." Etho parked on the side of the road. "It should be a five minute walk from here…"
He pulled out his phone, frowning at it, while Bdubs left the car. It was dark out, and on a normal evening, he'd be in bed. He wished he was in bed, instead of being forced to spend the next few hours with Etho. He loved Etho. No, loved spending time with Etho, but not like that. Not after the conversation they'd just had, and definitely not when Joel was involved.
Etho wandered around for a bit, Bdubs trailing not too far behind, until realising they'd gone in the wrong direction.
"This is why we needed to be there half an hour early." Etho said, changing direction once again. "Ah. This should be it!"
There was already a small crowd of people inside, and the lights gave Bdubs a headache. He'd never really been to any live music events, so he didn't know what to expect. He just hoped it wouldn't be too loud.
"When are they coming out?" Bdubs said to Etho, raising his voice over the chatter of everyone else in the building. Seriously, did these people not know how to be quiet?
"Not for another fifteen minutes, Bdubs."
Bdubs grumbled. Fifteen minutes felt like an agonising wait for the person who had taken Etho's attention.
"I'm getting a drink." Bdubs said. Maybe that would help clear his mind, and help him forget about his burning not-jealousy.
When Bdubs came back, drink in hand, Etho was on his phone.
"Who are you talking to?"
"Joel." Etho showed him the phone screen.
Bdubs sipped his drink, ignoring the way that Joel's name was saved in Etho's phone with a heart next to it. Which probably meant nothing.
Joel ❤️:
hey eefo we'll be out in a sec
"Ok." Bdubs said. Because maybe if he ignored the ache in his chest, and pretended he didn't care, it would all go away.
Then, the crowd fell silent. The lights dimmed. Etho murmured a quiet "I think they're coming now," to Bdubs, one he struggled hearing. He sipped his drink, eyes narrowing, ready to scrutinise this band beyond belief, and head home.
Then, four people walked onto the stage, met with a loud cheer. Bdubs rolled his eyes. Seriously? No way they were that good.
At the back, on the drums, Bdubs saw the man with the bright green streak in his hair — Joel. He hated that it suited him, too.
"Hello everybody!" The blonde guy at the front yelled into the microphone. "We are the Rejects!"
Another cheer. Wow, these people were easy to please, weren't they? Bdubs hated to think what the reaction would be after they'd begun to actually play some music.
"Before we start, I feel some introductions are needed. I'm Jimmy, I'll be your singer tonight!"
Sure enough, the crowd cheered. "Ugh." Bdubs said, but Etho was too busy looking at the stage, transfixed by Joel.
"This is Skizz, on guitar!" Jimmy pointed at him. Bdubs knew Skizz, vaguely. He was a friend of a friend, and he seemed nice. Too nice to be hanging around Joel. But maybe Bdubs was just bitter.
Jimmy pointed to Joel, and Bdubs could tell in that tone in his voice that Joel and Jimmy were the closest. Why was he so cool? Bdubs bet that he'd be just as liked if he managed to befriend the Rejects.
Not that he'd want to. Of course. He was here because Etho forced him to be.
"Joel on drums, everybody!" Cue another cheer. Bdubs turned to Etho, to make some comment about how pointless it was to cheer four times, but Etho was whooping louder than anyone else in the room.
Oh, he was really far gone wasn't he? Bdubs tasted something sour in his mouth, focusing his attention back to the stage.
"And finally, BigB on bass!"
Bdubs hadn't noticed him yet. Hiding near the back of the stage, giving the crowd a small awkward wave. BigB.
Was it just Bdubs, or did the world slow down? The cheers were echoing around the room at half speed, and the spotlight sparkled around him, coating him in a glow the other members seemed to lack. Whoever was in control of lighting had a favourite, and Bdubs couldn't really disagree with them.
Maybe going to this thing wasn't so bad.
"Aren't they cool?" Etho asked, eyes fixated on the stage.
Bdubs, not wanting to let Etho claim the victory here, rolled his eyes and said. "I'll have to see what their music's like!"
"Are you sure we're allowed to be here?" Bdubs asked nervously, following Etho into a corridor behind the stage. He'd been reassured that they were meant to be there, and Etho had been given express permission to meet with the band after the show had ended, but that did little to ease Bdubs' nerves.
"Joel promised they'd let us in. Don't worry."
As for the show itself, Bdubs found himself liking it, not to the point of getting up and dancing, but he bopped along to some of the songs and he would be lying if he said one of them wasn't stuck in his head already.
The music was good, and throughout the show, he felt his eyes continuously drifting towards the bassist. He was impressive, and Bdubs very easily found himself getting lost in his movements. Out of all the band members, it was BigB that Bdubs was excited to meet the most.
Etho stopped in front of a door, turning to Bdubs. "Ok, be cool. Don't scare Joel off."
Bdubs rolled his eyes. "Why would I ever do something like that?"
"You're jealous of him?"
"Pfft, jealous?" Bdubs waved a hand dismissively. "I'm not jealous! You're jealous! Jealous of how cool I am!"
"Sure." Etho rolled his eyes. "Just. Don't go crazy, ok?" Not waiting for a response, Etho opened the door, walking in on the four Rejects' conversation.
"Hey Etho!" Joel stood up, walking towards him. Bdubs was not jealous at the way he stole Etho's attention and he was not mad about the fact that Etho was moving on from Bdubs, and-
"You're Bdubs, right?" A voice cut through his thoughts. It was the bassist, speaking to him. Bdubs felt a little flustered, but he tried not to let it show.
"Oh, uh- yeah, I am. I'm Etho's friend." The word felt wrong. Landed wrong. Friend felt too casual for what they were, or rather, what they used to be. But Bdubs swore to himself that he'd move past it as soon as he could.
And hey, that bassist wasn't too bad looking. If Etho could move on with a member of the band, would it be so bad for Bdubs to do the same?
"Bdubs, ay!" The guitarist, Skizz, stood forwards and walked towards Bdubs. Skizz was nice. Bdubs and Etho had been friends with him and another person named Tango a while back, but they'd sort of drifted apart. Bdubs had missed their group, and seeing Skizz again brought back memories Bdubs thought he had buried.
"Skizz! You guys were awesome out there!"
"Thanks so much! Take a seat, please."
Bdubs looked around the room, searching for the nearest available seat. Which, funnily enough, was the one right next to BigB. Not that Bdubs was paying attention to him at all.
"So, how did you two meet?" The lead singer, Jimmy, asked Etho. "You and Bdubs, I mean."
Bdubs opened his mouth, ready to spill all that had happened because he refused to let Etho forget about it. But Etho got in before he did, saying:
"Oh, we've been friends for years." He chuckled. "You know how it is. I can't even remember at this point."
The group fell into conversation, one Bdubs began to tune out. He didn't need to hear Etho talking once again about how cool Joel was, didn't need to hear the others teasing him about their obsession over each other. But he did notice BigB. Who seemed just as tuned out as him, who seemed to watch on with the smallest smile.
Until BigB turned to him, and that small smile seemed to shift into something just a little bit more personal. Bdubs felt his cheeks flush, leaning slightly closer to BigB, rationalising it by telling himself he wanted to hear what BigB had to say over the noise of the conversation happening in front of them.
"I'm BigB," He said, voice effortlessly smooth.
"I know." Bdubs blurted out, and then hurriedly added: "They introduced you. In the show, I mean. You're the bass player."
"I am." BigB laughed. "Did you like it?"
"I did!" Bdubs grinned, and effortless one. Something that felt like a rarity these days. "Are you going to be doing another one again?" Please say yes, please say yes.
"Not for another few weeks." BigB sighed. "We, uh, we want to work on making some new music. But I can get you free tickets when we perform again, if you want."
Bdubs heart sank at the realisation he wouldn't have an excuse to see BigB for a while now, but he fought to keep it out of his voice. "That sounds wonderful, B."
BigB shifted slightly closer, and Bdubs felt his body doing the same in return. His eyes flickered back to the rest of the group, but they didn't seem to notice that the two were getting closer. Bdubs felt relieved; he didn't know how he'd feel if Etho confronted him about this.
Not that he was doing anything wrong, and not that Etho should get mad at him for this, but Bdubs had felt worse over Etho doing less with Joel.
Screw it. Bdubs had begun this evening by insisting he could prove he was over Etho, and here he was, ready to prove he was over it.
"Do you, uh, wanna go somewhere else?" Bdubs said, cheeks flushing when he realised what he said. He was being stupid, BigB would reject him, and he'd hang his head in shame.
"Yeah. Want me to take you somewhere we won't be found?" Never mind, then.
"Oh, please." Bdubs responded, trying not to sound too desperate.
"Bdubs and I are going out for a while!" BigB announced to the rest of the group, and Bdubs felt his cheeks burn in shame. They all knew what was happening. And, well, if Etho's eyes lingered on him with a disapproving frown, who was Bdubs to do anything about it?
They weren't together anymore. Bdubs had reminded himself of that fact one too many times.
The corridor was dark. Bdubs didn't know where he was; all he could do was trust that BigB would lead the way for him. The air was thrumming with anticipation, and Bdubs couldn't help but get the feeling he knew where this was going, and he didn't mind it one single bit.
It may have been their first meeting, but Bdubs was ready to follow BigB to the ends of the Earth.
It was quiet; clearly, everyone else had gone
"Hey." Bdubs said, when they'd finally settled into a corner, grinning despite himself. "You played well."
BigB leant back against the wall, looking Bdubs up and down. "Ah, thanks. It's a team effort, though."
"No, I," Bdubs swallowed. Was it just him, or did the room feel warm? "I liked you. I mean, your music. The music. Yeah."
"Yeah?" BigB echoed softly, leaning forwards ever so slightly. "Did you know I wrote the lyrics, too?"
Bdubs' stomach did a back flip in his chest, coming to terms with the fact that this guy was cool. And — not that Bdubs was looking — pretty strong. His arms had some muscle to them, and Bdubs struggled to shake away the thoughts that appeared in his head unannounced.
"Woah. That's- That's pretty cool." He found himself leaning in too, against his will. The air crackled with tension and Bdubs felt he might die of the heat. He hadn't been with anyone since Etho, and the way BigB was looking at him made him feel so nice, and he blamed what happened next on the drink he'd made the mistake of having earlier, and suddenly-
BigB's lips on his, a hand in his hair. That was all he thought about, putting his own hand on BigB's waist in order to keep one of them steady, although Bdubs didn't know who.
His knees felt like jelly, and he staggered back, allowing BigB to push him into the wall. He wasn't rough, though. BigB was gentle, and Bdubs got the feeling he was trying to hold himself back, to not screw up.
But his only coherent thought had no sooner appeared than disappeared, when BigB's grip on his hair tightened ever so slightly, and all Bdubs could think was more, please more.
BigB pulled away, chest heaving. "Woah."
"Woah." Bdubs echoed softly, a wide grin on his face.
It didn't feel right to compare. Etho didn't deserve that. But a small part of Bdubs was waking up, realising what he'd been missing out on. Etho wasn't a good kisser. Or maybe BigB was just that good.
Joel could have him, he thought, eyeing the way BigB's chest rose and fell and trying not to think about the muscle buried underneath his shirt. Joel could have Etho all he wanted because Bdubs had realised that he was settling by dating Etho. There was better out there.
That better being, of course, BigB. And so Bdubs, not wanting to let go of the better that he now seemed to crave, a faint thirst in the back of his head calling for the taste of BigB's lips, blurted out: "Can I have your number?"
A small smile played on BigB's lips, and Bdubs hated that all he wanted was to kiss them again. "Of course you can."
With a giddy grin, Bdubs allowed BigB to type his number into his phone, which he immediately planned on messaging later. This was the first time in ages he'd had fun, had a connection like that with a person who wasn't Etho, and he would do anything but let it go.
"I think we should head back." BigB frowned slightly, looking over his shoulder, as if he was afraid of getting caught.
Bdubs felt his hand twitch, urging to hold BigB's and never let go. But instead he said. "Yeah, ok. Don't know how long it'll be until they start looking, right?" He his his disappointment with a small laugh, one he hoped sounded normal.
The walk back was a lot less exciting than the walk there. Bdubs eyes kept flitting from hand, to head, to body, wondering where was acceptable to look and where wasn't, before deciding that maybe it was best if he just looked straight ahead.
BigB pushed the door open, stepping back to let Bdubs in first. The gesture didn't go unnoticed, and Bdubs felt seen.
"We're back!" BigB exclaimed. "I showed him how we get onto the stage, the view we have, all that cool stuff."
"It is really cool." Skizz agreed. "Although it's way different when you've got all the people there. You wouldn't believe how much pressure we're under."
"Where else did you two go?" Jimmy asked, looking between them.
"I don't- what do you mean by that?" Bdubs asked, looking to BigB for reassurance. They were so screwed.
"The stage just isn't that far away. You guys were away for a while, if I'm being honest."
"Yeah." Joel agreed, eyes narrowing. "It is a bit odd."
"Well, I think it's getting late." Etho exhaled and stood up, cutting that conversation off. Bdubs felt conflicted. He didn't want to go so soon, but was glad to leave if it meant no suspicion from the rest of the band. Or worse, from Etho.
"You can stay a bit longer, if you'd like, Bdubs." BigB offered, extending the invitation to have more and how Bdubs craved it. But he looked back at Etho, and suddenly felt torn. It was a battlefield in his head, and he felt forced to pick a side. Etho, or BigB?
Etho was the obvious choice. The right choice. His best friend for years, his boyfriend for one of them, and the person he swore to stick by no matter what. Things were easy. Well, not easy, but good enough that Bdubs couldn't complain. If he stayed up at night wondering what went wrong, that wasn't Etho's fault. They'd agreed that they just… Didn't work as a couple. And if Etho believed that, so did Bdubs. Things were easy in the sense that if Bdubs just went along with what Etho said, there would be no fights, and that was the way it worked.
BigB was new. Exciting? Maybe. But unfamiliar. Bdubs' phone burnt in his pocket, the weight of it a harsh reminder of what he had done. In the moment, the moment was one he had enjoyed, but the harsh light of the room woke him up, helped him realise exactly what he had done. Part of him liked it anyway, relished in the thrill of going behind the backs of the other Rejects, and Etho.
Not that Etho would care, and certainly not that Bdubs would want Etho to care. It still felt a bit like a betrayal on Bdubs' part.
Etho led him out of the building silently. He expected something. A question, an accusation, he would've even taken an interrogation.
Instead, the car drive home was silent. Bdubs looked out of the window at the city rushing past him, and Etho kept his eyes firmly on the road ahead of him. They made occasional small talk, perhaps something about the show, and the songs they liked the most. Bdubs wasn't paying much attention.
His mind kept wandering, going back to that moment in the dark, quiet corridor, the ghost of Bigb's lips still lingering on his.
He'd never even met the guy until that day. Why did it matter so much?
Bdubs didn't want to think about the answer to that question. He'd never believed in love at first sight, and that wasn't about to change, especially considering he was still nursing the gaping hole in his heart left behind by Etho — although it didn't seem to hurt so much anymore.
Even the apparent apathy didn't sting as much as he thought. A part of Bdubs was hesitant, unsure if rushing into something like this was right. A part of him was still wondering if he should've stayed. Was it too late to leave the car and run back?
The city moved past him as usual, unaware of the turmoil in Bdubs' head.
BigB couldn't stop grinning. He hadn't seen Bdubs in the crowd; he was probably standing near to the back he'd entered the backstage room, trailing behind Etho as if he felt out of place there, BigB was entranced.
Bdubs was quiet at first, but he seemed to open up the more the group talked. Like BigB, he stuck to the corner, and watched on. Like BigB, he seemed to be almost out of place amongst the other Rejects.
BigB couldn't help but notice the way Bdubs' eyes flickered between Joel and Etho, and occasionally back at him. Was there a history there? Was BigB unintentionally getting himself tangled in a complicated, messy situation by kissing Bdubs? And most importantly — if he was, could he find it in himself to regret said kiss?
Not really. The Rejects had long been well named — a group of friends feeling rejected by society forming together and turning that into music. They were comfortable in their isolation, and comfortable with each other.
Until the Rejects began falling in love. Jimmy, first, proudly showing off his boyfriend — who already seemed to be a friend of Skizz's — to the group. Then Skizz, and BigB sort of felt left out. He'd barely had time to comfort himself with the fact that Joel too, was single, until he'd walked into practice one day on his phone, a stupid grin on his face, phone in hand. And BigB knew it was over.
BigB was the rejected Reject. The one who couldn't seem to find someone. In the past, he'd never actually cared, never sought someone out. Recently, however, he'd felt left out, insecure.
Bdubs was nice, looked nice, and was BigB's opportunity to feel like less of an outcast.
Settling into bed, ready to rest after a long, tiring day, BigB checked his phone, a smile appearing on his face.
Unknown Number:.
hey its bdubs
wanna meet up next week?