Archive of Our Own

Eddie Diaz is the picture-perfect boy scout. The favorite. His hair is always ideally slicked, like he wasn't inside the woods the entire day. His band bursts with the enormous amount of badges. His uniform is always stupidly clean, with an earthy smell that makes everyone feel ridiculously dizzy when he walks among them. His face matches with all his perfect mannerisms and acts and ass-licking to get more and more badges.

Buck is done with all of that bullshit.

His eyes glint with mischief when he sees Eddie's inflated mattress floating down the water, each second more further and further.

It's not unprovoked. Well, not entirely. He wasn't going to upset Diaz because they know each other only a little, they only share common spaces and his greatest annoyance is how perfect he is. It's not like Buck is a demon or something.

But then Diaz just had to go run to their troop leader —Sophi- to tell her about how he didn't wash the dishes the night it was his turn. When it had happened before with a lot of guys from the group, but it was the first time he complained about it. Another strike to Buckley and they wouldn't let him come back to the camp next year. He doesn't love it either, but it works for being away from his parents for an entire month. It's not his own fault if he took it personally because it seems like it.

So, Buck has to take revenge.

He hears water moving and looks intently. Eddie is waking up, entirely disoriented, and lifts up his gaze, not understanding a bit.

"What the…" He can see him mouthing, before pressing onto the mattress too hard and falling into the water, a big splash after him.

Buck sees his head coming out of the water too fast and chuckles. He really, really should be getting away from there but it's so funny, he can't stop watching.

Eddie swims and then stumbles walking, reaching the shore of the beach. His black shirt and his pajama shorts are pouring water. A sense of satisfaction runs through Buck's chest when he sees him with his hair finally out of place. He has a hard time hiding his funny grin from him when Eddie walks closer, shaking his head meaning to splash some drops of sea water into dry Buck.

Not laughing seems appropriate, safe. Because when he sees Eddie's face, he gulps, scared.

Diaz is mad. His face is red, his frown is the deepest he has ever seen, his nostrils open and close with his loud and fast breathing. He never saw him that angry before —although he was trying, he looks like an angry feline. Dangerous. And cute.

"It's you!" Eddie points a finger to him, walking closer. Buck finds his frown a bit endearing, on top of everything. "Buckley, I'm gonna take you down".

Shit.

He wants to say sorry but he's not about to relent that fast. If he wants to fight, he'll fight back. He can't believe this, anyways. Perfect Diaz knows how to fight?

Buck preens, takes his chest up to feign some confidence and he notices, then for the first time, that Eddie is much more muscled than him.

Okay, maybe he should've given this a bit more than one thought, but it's too late now. It's not like he thought that Eddie was gonna threaten him, he never was scared of him. Apart from the soar of him being this ideal boy scout, he only ever looked kind.

Until right now.

"What is your problem, man?" Eddie asks, pressing his finger into his chest. Buck feels his breath heavy, like he can't help himself.

"I- I- I-". Get it together, Buckley. Jesus.

"What's going on here?!" A loud voice appears from the other side of the beach, emerging from the woods where the sand ends.

Buck is ready to run away from the small but competitive woman, their troop leader, to get away from the scolding, faster than the wind. When he tries, he feels a strong grip grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.

"Hell no", Eddie says to him, a funny smirk suddenly on his face as he keeps his grip, softer, on his neck. And Buck, dumb Buck, thinks the tiny smile looks nice in him. He can count with one hand how many times he saw Diaz wearing a genuine smile and this is one of them —a bit devilish, a bit joking, but a smile at the end.

Sophia is angry too. Buck sees a resemblance there, on the frown and the lips pursed. "Diaz, why are you so wet?"

"He threw me into the water!" Eddie replies, exaggeratedly letting Buck's shirt go and moving his hands.

Buck shakes his head, claiming innocence. "I- I was just having a walk! And I saw you!"

"Yeah, sure". Eddie nods and he still has that smirk, looking through Buck like he has know him for his entire life. "Like you don't hate my guts, Buckley! You totally did it on purpose".

"But you-!"

"Enough!" Sophia blows her whistle, loud to keep them quiet and they both stand still, startled. She looks straight at Buck's blue eyes. "I'm tired of you. You're gonna have such a good time cleaning the supply cabin tonight".

Buck's breath hitches, realizing. "No, no, no, wait. Detention? Tonight? But the meteor rain!"

Eddie scoffs, mocking him. "You reap what you sow".

Sophia clicks her tongue. "Don't be such a happy pants, Diaz. You too".

"What?!" He looks at her outraged, his mouth opening with surprise. "Sophi, c'mon. I didn't do anything. I'm the victim here". He lifts his arms to grow the dramatics of his allegations, showing how he's still pouring water.

"You know I can't play favorites, Diaz".

"But it's unfair!" He pleads.

"I need you two to be nice to each other and get along. So tonight, deep cleaning. Together". She says, definitive.

"Sophi, don't-". Eddie tries to keep asking, but she looks at him seriously. "Please don't tell mom and dad".

"We're gonna talk about this later, Edmundo".

Mom and dad?

Edmundo?

Sophia goes with a final threatening gaze, leaving them both together. Buck closes an eye, thinking about the encounter.

"Sophi's your sister?" He asks, confused.

Eddie rolls his eyes, walking towards the woods, already drying with the morning sun peaking into the blue sky. "Go to hell, Buckley".

Buck cleans his forehead, sweaty by the heat of the deep cleaning he's been doing since they arrived at the cabin, the detention-cabin.

Eddie rests in his own bed, his brown eyes looking at the ceiling. He moves and turns every few minutes. But it's been hours and he hasn't lifted a finger.

Also, he's refusing to talk to Buck. Not like he tried —he only said hey and didn't get and answer back. But Buck can't be quiet for that long, even when he's that busy.

"Aren't you gonna do anything?" Buck says, frowning.

"Nope". Eddie finally answers, completely nonchalant. He doesn't really care about this. He moves only to look at his nails like the dirt there is the most interesting thing in the world. Although, he probably has his nails done clean and short, just as perfect as Buck always saw him.

Buck keeps sweeping the floors, now that he already listed and classified every item existent in this damn camp. He really needed to kill time, his juvenile body isn't made at all for staying still.

"Why aren't you doing anything?" He tries again and watches Eddie sitting in bed, looking at him. Again, that frown that almost looks specially directed at him.

"It's your detention, Buckley. I shouldn't be punished for something you did".

Buck nods, agreeing. He can see the unfairness in the situation, whereas he can still enjoy Eddie being trapped there. If he's going to be punished, he's glad he's not the only one.

"Aren't you bored out of your mind?"

Eddie shrugs and his face softens a bit, looking absentmindedly at the mop Buck keeps moving into the same place on the floor, like he's trying to make the wood bright as a light. He just keeps going because he wants to make it last, so he doesn't go to sleep early.

"Not really. I'm kinda used to it… with church".

"What do you mean?"

Eddie lifts his gaze to meet his. Buck always thought he was way too pretty, ever since meeting him on day one. When he looks at him like that, he confirms it one time after another. It's another fact on the Edmundo-Diaz-is-perfect-list.

"You know, when you confess… They get you praying for a long time, sometimes".

"Sorry, I'm not familiar. So what? You've been praying since you got here?"

"Not really".

"Then…?" Buck insists and Eddie sighs, like he's tired of listening to him already.

Maybe Buck does something with his eyes, maybe he pouts and tries to look at him with a small ask. He wants to prod Eddie, to move and pinch his ribs, to shake his shoulder, annoying him further because he's finding it funny. He doesn't do any of the sort, he just keeps watching him. Somehow, it works. Eddie's shoulders relax and Buck notices the tiny mark he has under his eye when he moves his eyelashes slowly. Pretty, as stated.

"I'm trying to figure out how I can get to Little Crow".

Buck stops mopping, confused. "We can't".

"Exactly. We can't." He moves his finger between them, pointing at himself at last. "Because I am the only one who's gonna go".

"Eddie. We're grounded and the only way to get there is in a car. If we went walking we couldn't come back in time before somebody found us".

"I'm still listening to you talking in plural. I didn't invite you, Buckley".

"There's no invite because we don't have any way to go!"

"Mhm, I mean… I think I do have a way to go".

Buck sits on the floor, in front of Eddie, looking up at him. From the large window of the cabin, he can see the afternoon unraveling, the large sky becoming pretty in a color scheme going from light blue to lilac to pink and orange. It creates a nice glow that makes Eddie's face look tender and softer. With his eyes squinted, he looks like he's thinking about something and his hands grip the brown blanket below him.

"If you're getting out of here, I am too". Buck talks again and Eddie looks at him thoroughly, like he suddenly remembers he's there too.

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek before talking again, his face clearly showing he still doubts what he's about to say. Unsure, he asks: "Do you know how to drive?"

"Maybe". Buck shows a sheepish grin, lifting his shoulders up. A bit nervous, as he wants Eddie to tell him to tag along. Not only for the meteor rain, but also for the possibility of being approved by him. "'That make you reconsider the invitation?"

"Maybe".

"Let's say I can drive. We still don't have a car".

"I might have that arranged".

They both slip away from the cabin when the night finally falls and the darkness of the sky hides them from the rest of the camp, going to the ideal site to watch —Little Crow.

Buck follows Eddie through the path of some cars and trucks parked there. He seems like he's looking for one, especially. When they reach an old, green truck, Eddie opens the door like he owns it.

"What-? What are we doing here?" Buck asks, looking everywhere with the adrenaline creeping up his nape, alert of anyone finding them.

Eddie crouches down into the seat. He can't see his face but his back sweats, his arms move with swiftness and efficiency.

"Diaz. C'mon. They are gonna catch us. What are you doing?"

Eddie still doesn't answer, too focused on whatever he's doing below the steering wheel.

The truck's engine goes on, suddenly.

"Did you- did you just hot wired this truck?"

Eddie looks back at him smiling and then walks down the car so Buck can take the driver's seat.

"Like it's hard", he mocks.

Okay. That's kinda hot.

Buck is not gonna tell him that, no way in hell.

Buck settles in the driver's seat as Eddie plops beside him, seemingly tired.

Before moving the gear shift, he looks at Eddie. This isn't the Eddie he knows. In fact, this is making him notice he doesn't know Eddie at all. Only the outside walls around him that seem to be cracking and stumbling now, after literally stealing a car.

Wait.

"We're stealing. If someone catches us, we're screwed".

"Naah, don't worry about it. It's not stealing. We are only… borrowing it. We're gonna return it even before morning".

Buck nods, considering. Like- it doesn't feel like Eddie is not right. They wouldn't do something illegal.

It tickles something in his brain when he realizes that perfect Diaz can do that —make a plan to borrow a truck, hot wiring it, inviting him along so he can have a driver. Buck starts going, slow, unfamiliar to the setting and Eddie looks at the window, trying to catch any good look of the road.

They do a mile, at most, before Buck gets it wrong and the truck stops abruptly, their heads moving fast towards the windshield.

"God, Buckley. I thought you knew how to drive". He doesn't watch him but he knows he's making fun of him by the lightness of his voice. The way he says it makes some strain tug into Buck's chest. Buck rolls his eyes as an answer but an involuntary smile creeps up in his own face.

Buck keeps driving, trying to keep the truck steady. He succeeds before the engine makes a coughing sound and it stops on its tracks again. Eddie scoffs beside him and Buck looks at him only to receive the mocking grin he shows, his teeth glistening in the middle of the night.

"Okay, first of all". Buck presses his forehead into the steering wheel, frustrated. "I never said I actually was a good driver. I learned recently, that's on you. Second, if you are so good, why aren't you driving?" He moves only to look at him again.

Eddie's face falls flat for a second, before the happy smirk returns, although Buck doesn't see like it reaches his entire face. He doesn't believe this kind of confidence in him, even when he's kind of happy letting him be the subject of his jokes, making him smile a bit and a bit more every passing hour.

He never noticed until now how addictive it was to make Eddie Diaz smile. He never saw the dimples that framed his mouth, never quite caught before how bright he looked while feeling that sense of fun. He obviously can't change his mind about him after so little time but he's getting to know him more, and he likes finding different little flaws in him.

And also, it shouldn't be important, but Buck never could help it talking to someone so pretty.

"If I think I'm liking you, I'll tell you". Eddie avoids answering and Buck starts driving again, finally peeling his gaze out of him.

They end up in a peaceful silence as the woods keep showing up on either side of the road, with the long firmament growing each step further in a calming way.

Buck has been keeping the truck moving well, not much more problems for a few minutes until the steering wheel moves weirdly in his hands and he keeps his grip as hard as he can. But the truck takes a turn he doesn't want, wheels into the road side. He gains control back, the steering wheel returning to its initial form and he jolts the truck rapidly into the road, letting go a sigh now that everything is okay.

The road isn't quiet anymore. Eddie keeps mumbling something beside him. Buck looks at him for a few seconds, aware that the road is totally empty for a lot of miles, and watches him looking at the sky and with his hands clasped together.

"Padre nuestro que estás en el cielo. Santificado sea tu nombre. Venga-"

"No way. Are you really praying?" Buck asks with a chuckle, looking back at the road.

"You're going to kill us! We might as well have God on our side".

"Don't be so dramatic. You're alive, aren't you?"

Eddie takes it as a big joke. Buck can see him by his peripheral vision taking a good laugh, the sound rumbling into the joined seat and into his own chest. He can't believe he shows that amusement so little times, having such a laugh that could bright out the entire darkened woods.

"Maybe we could stay around here. We're close to Little Crow anyways".

They both climb down the truck and sit on the grass, a little hill working as a comfortable place to wait for the magic in the sky.

Buck can still feel the tension between them. Even when Eddie relented a bit in the truck, came back to that sweet way he treats everybody in camp, Buck doesn't feel it genuine. In a strange way, he wants Eddie to treat him well because he's him, not only because they belong to the same group and Eddie is nice enough for not holding a grudge for more than one day. Or maybe, not showing it.

There's some large minutes with that rare silence before Buck gains his trust and talks.

"Hey". Buck looks at the grass, embarrassed. "I- I'm sorry".

He feels Eddie's gaze on him and he can't help but return it, even when his own cheeks are probably pink by how sheepish he feels, guarded by the utter darkness of the woods and the sea. He can see Eddie by the way the full, whitest moon reflects and draws his profile in a soft, fuzzy way.

"Sorry for what? Trying to kill us?"

A light breeze passes between them and ruffles some strands of Eddie's hair. Buck tugs a tiny smile, remembering how he wanted to look at him disheveled, messy. Not the ideal unreality he has seen this past month.

"For the prank. With the mattress". Buck clarifies and Eddie's gaze feels like it's piercing through him, intensely. "And the punishment. I'm sorry if you get in trouble with your parents too, I didn't know that".

Eddie nods, watching him. It seems like he became sitting closer as time passed, or maybe Buck did it unnoticed, or they both met in the middle somehow. Buck realizes when he feels Eddie's shoulder pressing into his, and he tugs him with his own, trying to appear jokingly.

"I know, I don't really… I don't talk about myself so much here. I don't really have friends". Eddie answers and it feels like a veil is lifting up in front of Buck's eyes as he sees him ruffling his nose, reminding him of a kitten.

"I didn't know you don't have friends, either. It always looks like everyone is crowding you".

"Yeah, they are. It feels… fake? Somehow. Like they know Sophia's my sister and I'm about to become the next troupe leader and it will give them benefits next year. They never treated me like this years before".

"They didn't?" Buck wouldn't know, being his first year there. "I always thought you like that. That much attention".

"Not really my style, no". Eddie clicks his tongue, his eyes never leaving Buck's face. "You do seem like the kind of guy who thrives on it".

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe. I like being noticed". He doesn't know why he feels vulnerable talking about this, why revealing this information about him feels like telling on his entire identity —at least the bit he has grown until now, at the ripe age of 16. "If my parents aren't gonna give me the attention, I'll get it myself". He tries to say it as a joke but it doesn't land as he expected.

Eddie is the one to tug his shoulder this time, with sympathy.

"Consider yourself lucky. My parents don't let me take any step without hovering over me. It's good that I have my sisters".

"That's kinda bad. The thing with your parents, I mean". He shrugs and his shoulder clasp into Eddie's again, without him wanting to. All his nerves lighten up inside him, like he's full of stars matching with the sky. Even when the one who should be full of stars is Eddie, beside him, radiating warm, forgiving him, trying to understand. "I was bothering you because I was jealous". He confesses, his voice only a thread of a whisper but Eddie can hear.

"Jealous? Of what exactly?"

"You are always so… good at everything! You look perfect and do everything perfect and everyone is happy about you. You're the best scout and the best guy and the best partner inside the group and the best at cleaning and the best at sports". Buck tries hard not to, but he rolls his eyes remembering each day of the camp. "It's always Díaz first. It's exhausting".

Eddie looks surprised watching him. Like he didn't expect that kind of sincerity. Or verbal puking, could be more fitting. His lips are parted in the middle of an amused grin and a shocked expression, probably still processing what Buck said.

"Yes, it is". Eddie answers, finally, seemingly out of breath. "It is exhausting. I don't think anyone understood it before".

"Well, I-". Buck deflates, his chest heaves, tired of the monologue. "I didn't think you'd see it that way".

Eddie closes his mouth, his lips pouting as he looks reflexive, like what Buck said is making him think further. The tension has left entirely and the only noise beside their whispering voices are the soft, lulling waves moving near them and crickets hidden, listening to their talk.

"You really don't know me, Buckley".

"No, no. I'm learning more about you now. Like, you know how to steal cars". Eddie glances at him, trying to look scolding, but the fondness doesn't leave his face and Buck chuckles despite his best efforts. "Also, can you fight? I thought you were gonna hit me this morning".

"Yeah, I can fight well. I'm not violent, though. I wasn't gonna hit you". He says it with a light tone.

"Thank God. I can't fight for shit".

Eddie laughs again, the same laugh Buck managed to get inside the truck earlier. He feels bright, this time looking at him with his eyes closed, with his teeth showing, the apples of his cheeks lifting in a way that makes him look even kinder and his neck growing below the moon.

Buck thinks the same, again. He's way too pretty.

"What?" Eddie stops his laugh short, touching the back of his neck, as he was embarrassed.

"What what?"

"What did you say?"

No, no, no, shit no.

"I didn't say anything!" He croaks, raising his voice and Eddie covers his mouth with his hand, quickly.

"Shhh, shh. Someone could hear us".

Buck nods but Eddie's hand keeps lingering there, still, as he was frozen in the spot. Buck can feel his heartbeat rising faster and faster by how close their bodies are, by how Eddie's hand finally moves, slowly, as he was a caged animal and Buck gulps, still nodding even though he didn't say anything else.

Eddie doesn't let him go, anyways. Instead, he rests his hand on his shoulder. With his gaze accustomed to the dark, he watches Eddie glowing red, blinking slowly, trying to seem nonchalant but showing how embarrassed he feels nevertheless.

"Did you just call me pretty?" He whispers and Buck traitorous heart jolts, despite him being sure that the only way out of this incredibly embarrassing situation is diving into the sea and swimming his way back home, not looking at Eddie's face ever again.

He didn't think he said it out loud. He was just thinking about it.

He doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to. He doesn't know if he should say something or do something at all.

Definitely not do something, because all he wants now isn't allowed. Eddie's eyes glisten with some bright, white lights and it mixes in a beautiful way with the honeyed brown he naturally wears and his hand presses Buck still in his shoulder and Buck looks at his lips, only for a second, before turning his gaze back to the sky.

"Eddie, look".

Eddie takes a second longer to lift his gaze out of Buck's face that probably lights up every few seconds the same as him underneath the meteor rain that just began.

Buck misses the heaviness of his hand in his shoulder when Eddie finally lets him go, only to point at new meteors coming in their line of vision, Buck following his directions.

The meteors- kind of shooting stars, arrive every few seconds and Buck finds himself searching for more passing sky-lights, lifting his neck up, reaching his hand closer to Eddie's leg, leaning into him without even noticing. The bright lines sparkling into the night sky makes everything glisten around them.

Eddie's fingers brush Buck's and he feels a shiver going up his throat, a blooming pressure that doesn't feel suffocating or ugly. On the contrary, the feeling stays there pushing, heavy and precious. When he looks into Eddie's eyes although he's not looking back, every passing light reflects onto them and makes his pupils glisten and the heaviness in his chest combines with his heart making another jump, especially when Eddie threads his pinky finger with his own, both hands resting in the grass. And it doesn't feel like the brushes before, this movement feels with much more intention, even when the touch is so delicate Buck could think it's only his imagination.

Eddie comes back to look at him, only to find Buck already fixated on his features and he smiles before talking so low that Buck has to lean in even closer, although he didn't know it was possible until now.

Eddie's breath fans his ear when he says, "did you make a wish?"

Buck doesn't say a thing. He can't answer. He's lost and lost and lost again, his pathway is traced in swirls and the only guiding star is that perfect Eddie Diaz in front of him. With his funny loud laugh, with his kindness, with his forgiveness, with his eyes awaiting for a response, with the utter hope of wanting to know him more and hidden and quiet. With the steady ease that comes with the fact he's not perfect at all, only human like him —non-violent but strong enough to fight back, a good son, a pressured teen, a social butterfly but not akin to attention, some part of wildness in slightly forbidden acts.

He doesn't totally get what his mind is swirling around with this. He only knows he looks at Eddie and wants to close his eyes shut, look away (even though he physically can't) because knowing him tonight underneath a rain of golden meteors and silver shooting stars is overwhelming. Mind-blowing. Unforgettable.

And Buck wishes for one thing —that he chooses him. At least this one night only, before the inevitability of parting in separated ways again.

"I know". Buck tugs on Eddie's finger, still intertwined with his and Eddie's eyelashes flutter. "I wish to know why you don't drive".

He probably sounds ridiculous, begging for an approval that shouldn't matter at all. But Eddie doesn't show him that. Instead, he laughs again with the last stars around them casting candescent, tired glows, slipping into oblivion.

A fainting smile lingers in him, showing his dimples, when he replies. "I can't because it gives me too much anxiety". He sighs. "I had to- I thought I had to drive my mom to the hospital when my younger sister was about to be born. Adriana. And I crashed the car terribly, it was pretty scary".

"Oh, god. Sorry. I thought it was something dumb".

"It is. It happened a long time ago. I'm all grown now, I should be able to… drive. It's stupid. I know how".

"Eddie". Buck moves his finger into Eddie's hand, caressing. "It's not stupid. That sucks. Why did you do it?" He says with a crashing curiosity, not a slight of accusation on his tone.

Eddie's shoulders sag. Maybe it's because of the shelter of the night or the safety in knowing he's not gonna see Buck again after finishing the camp. He trusts him with information that he usually keeps reserved for himself. "My dad isn't always home, you know. It's my job to take care of them. I'm the man of the house".

Buck doesn't want to say what he thinks, not wanting to bother him. But he must make some kind of grimace, because Eddie tugs his finger making his lips into a line. "What?"

"Don't wanna sound… like an asshole".

"C'mon, what do you think about it?"

"I think it's bullshit. You should be able to live your life as you want". Eddie's look goes down, his cheeks probably red. "You should be able to be… not perfect all the time. Have fun. To drive without being so terrified, I don't know". Buck smiles with endearment. "You should be able to do as you like. Make your wishes come true".

Eddie looks at him again. Another time leaving Buck blind. "You're cheesy". He says, but there's not a sign of reproach. He keeps smiling and Buck still feels his finger ghosting between his, and their hands keep slotting into each other, too close to holding but not passing that line yet. "How did you learn how to drive that horribly?" He jokes, changing the subject.

"That's thanks to my older sister, Maddie. She's gonna be thrilled when she knows I drove us here safe and sound".

"That's if you keep us alive on the way back, mind you". Buck laughs hoarsely and Eddie's gaze lingers in his smile. "That makes sense, you know. You give younger brother vibes".

"I hope that's a compliment. And I hope she doesn't ever know I said this, but my sister is the best".

"How so?"

They keep talking. Eddie keeps asking about Buck —calls him Buck now, after him telling his name is Evan but this summer everybody kept calling him Buck. About his family, about what he likes or not, about his school, about his friends back home. It's like he craves information. And Buck keeps track, replies but also asks back, entirely sure that he would love to know more and more about him whenever he had time. Eddie laughs a lot beside him and Buck finds himself with the urge, every time, of making him laugh sooner than later again. Each laugh and smile feels like the meteorites coming with the promise of a wish behind.

When the sky turns from a dark night plastered with white little dots to a blue that keeps getting lighter, Buck notices because Eddie yawns exaggeratedly.

"Eddie, shit". Buck stands up, suddenly startled. He shivers because of the light summer wind and the new sensation of not having Eddie's hand wrapped around his. He misses it already. "It's almost morning. We have to come back".

And soon enough, he takes advantage of the fact that Eddie is still sitting on the grass because he lifts his hand open to him, so he can grab it to get up with help.

When they are both standing, the sun starts glistening in the horizon, the heat of the morning ricochets on Buck's bare arms, the waves still dance on a steady lullaby and Eddie looks at him, close. And not one of them dares to let go of their hands.

"Buck", says Eddie, whispering as if there would be any chance of someone catching them, even when it doesn't make sense because the rest of the camp is probably already back since hours ago.

"Mhm?", he manages to mutter, frightened of breaking this strange and quiet atmosphere that sizzles in his chest every time Eddie blinks.

"You never asked me what I wished for".

Eddie's tone is playful, a bit timid, a whisper he didn't hear coming from him since now. Buck thinks he found something fortuitous, something beautiful, in the way he could keep knowing him more layer by later.

He smiles, squinting and somehow, knowing what Eddie wished makes him feel afraid. "If you tell someone, it's not gonna come true".

Eddie squeezes his hand and Buck senses it physically, the nerves lightning up like a storm blaring from his fingers, reaching all the way up to his heart.

"I don't know if it works like that". Eddie argues, funnily and Buck doesn't relent even when he's trying to beg him to ask. "You got yours asking me".

"I don't think it counts".

"Fine. You're stubborn, Buckley. I'm not superstitious anyways".

Buck chokes on his laugh when Eddie tugs him closer by the hand he still holds and kisses him.

He only presses his lips to him, doubtful and Buck understands now why he wanted to ask. They break apart for a short second, Buck doesn't dare to open his eyes again before it's his turn to lean back into Eddie.

He would never say no. He wouldn't dare to be in the middle of making his wish come true.

Kissing Eddie, with their lips slightly parted and his hand being caressed by his fingers, feels like chasing more stars. Like he can catch one and save it safely inside his chest, too close to his heart. Like the silver glow that grows wider inside of him isn't gonna go away soon, even when Eddie ends the kiss and tries to gain his breath back, still so close to him.

Buck's lips tremble. The tenderness of Eddie opening up to him in every way makes him almost break down. If he wasn't glued to Eddie's hand he surely would be unsteady, considering how lightheaded he feels after the whole ordeal.

Buck yawns, doing a loud sound and misting his eyes with tears, remembering they aren't supposed to be here. "We should go", he says, hating it, because it means ending the night already, coming back to the routine where they don't know each other at all.

His vision is still blurry when he sees Eddie nodding, so close to him that their foreheads touch. "Yeah. My sister's gonna kill us".

"You should pray about that". Buck says and Eddie smiles brightly. Their hands keep plastered together until it's time for coming back to the truck.

Buck's shoulders are hardened behind the steering wheel.

"You know you don't have to worry about us having robbery charges or something? This is Sophi's truck. I can take it".

Buck feels lighter with that. He gives a last look at Eddie before turning the engine on, receiving a sloppy smile. He's probably tired. "Why didn't you say something earlier, dumbass?"

With all of Eddie's obligations at camp, it's hard for him to see him again. He manages to steal some glances as they are eating, and Eddie has to look away when he feels his face turning a tad too red. Eddie passes by his side sometimes, as they are playing some game on the beach or when it's Buck's turn to help cooking and brushes his waist, only slightly, reminding him he's there.

To Buck, it's nice, it's fuzzy, it's something he has never felt before. It's a secret he doesn't want anyone tainting.

Nevertheless, he misses him.

Especially because he knows tomorrow the camp ends and they both have to come back home.

After the last bonfire, where he keeps glancing at Eddie's way without even noticing he does, Buck is restless in bed. He turns around for like an hour in his own cabin before his roommate tells him to go take a walk, not wanting to listen to him anymore.

He ends up at the supply cabin, blindly. When he enters through the unlocked front door, there's a shape of someone already in there, laying on one of the beds, guarded by the dim lights.

Hell. What were the chances someone beat him here? He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and knew no one was having detention there that night.

When he's about to turn around and go to the beach, the person moves.

"Buck?" He asks.

"Oh, it's you". Buck answers, going closer to him, changing his mind. "Can I stay here for a little while?"

Eddie pats the blanket beside him, scooting so Buck can fit his thin frame with him.

"Hi", Eddie lays on his side to look at him and Buck looks back. The nervousness creeps up inside him having Eddie so close, the last time being when they kissed and not having any time with each other for one week.

"Hi". Buck answers.

The crickets from outside echo here, a sweet rhythm that Buck thinks he's gonna miss falling asleep to when he's back home. Eddie's fingers find his hand, just like the last time, timidly and something in his chest flutters.

"I'm- I'm sorry we haven't seen each other".

"That's okay. You were busy".

"I'm sorry that we didn't spend much time together before".

"Stop saying sorry, Eddie. I didn't like you".

Eddie breaks into a soft laugh and groans, pressing his forehead into Buck's shoulder. Buck didn't remember how addictive his laugh felt, and can only realize now when the sound rumbles in his chest and feels like flying high.

"I didn't like you either. That's why I snitched on you when you didn't do the dishes".

"I fucking knew it".

"I also wanted to gain your attention. You were the only one who seemed to not care about me".

"I thought you didn't like the attention".

Eddie shrugs and Buck sniffs his woody smell when his hair tickles his nose, fluffy and soft and disheveled.

"I don't mind it when it's you. It's more- real. You don't care about any of that stuff we talked about".

"No, that's true. I guess you probably didn't think I was going to throw you into the river".

Eddie finally looks up at him and Buck's breath hitches. His empty hand covers Eddie's waist, wanting to have him closer, even when it's impossible.

"That and the truck. How many more times are you going to try to kill me?"

"I'll think about one more for next year".

Buck is clearly joking but Eddie doesn't laugh this time. Instead, he feels him freezing and his smile falters.

"What? Sorry". Buck tries to lift his hand off Eddie's waist, thinking it makes him uncomfortable but Eddie doesn't let him, shaking his head. "What?" He asks again, a slump forming in his throat.

"I'm not coming back next year".

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Buck gulps, his face matching the sadness Eddie shows. "But you come here every summer. You were on your way to be the next leader".

"Someone noticed I took Sophi's truck. The other leader called my parents. They didn't like it at all".

"But, but. You worked hard for this! It's not fair!" Buck feels the anger more than anything else, on top of knowing he's not gonna see Eddie again. His fingers tap his waist in some form of easing them both.

"It's fine, Buck. I don't really love it here anyways".

"You don't?"

"I used to love it but these past few years have been… stressful. I think I was able to have fun again, real fun, the other night. With you".

"I had fun too". Buck starts drawing shapes into Eddie's waist, looking at his eyes fluttering. "It sucks anyways. I wanted to see you again next year".

"Me too. But we have this whole night". Eddie's eyes are closing slowly as he says it, the weariness of the day falling over him.

"You're falling asleep". He says it matter-of-factly, resigned but there's no admonishment in it. "I can't keep you awake another entire night".

Eddie's eyes are fully closed now and Buck wants to run his fingers against his lips so badly, he manages to feel a little thrill. He's not gonna do it, though, not with Eddie not fully awake.

"Buck". Eddie whispers, not wanting to disturb the ambience that keeps forming around each other, steady, electric. Buck's breath hitches when Eddie opens his eyes big enough to cover his entire face, locking his gaze to him. "Can I kiss you again?"

Buck doesn't wait a beat this time.

He presses Eddie's waist and kisses him with intent, strongly, sure that it's their last chance. He's been so dumb with jealousy, he doesn't understand how he managed to lose this before it even started. At least, he can feel it right now.

They keep kissing tenderly and talking more, continuing the chat of the other night. Buck is rambling about his last fixation —motorbikes and he sees Eddie smiling below him, taking him all in, as his eyes keep shutting off.

"I think I'm gonna let you sleep". He says, finishing an excited sentence.

"Keep talking, Buckley". Eddie encourages him, smiling.

"I don't wanna bother you".

"If you were bothering me, I would leave. Keep telling me, c'mon".

Eddie brushes his head into Buck's shoulder, getting comfortable and listening to his low voice talking nonstop. Buck's hand keeps hovering, moving into his waist, his arm, his nape, caressing his hair. He knows Eddie is asleep on his chest when he doesn't answer anymore, not even a muffled mhm and he kisses his forehead, drifting off to sleep too.

Waking up tangled in his arms and with Eddie kissing his birthmark is a sweet goodbye. It's like his wish is coming alive in front of his own blue eyes.