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He gets to the part where Will starts crying and so he sheds a tear too, but then it gets worse and worse and he keeps crying because even Murray is witnessing this.
Harry remembers coming out to his mum when he was sixteen, how it began just how Will and Joyce sat alone in the room. How in no world he would have ever said it with anyone other than his mum. Especially not to the one he loved.
He didn't expect to cry so much but now his eyes are blurry, he sniffles and coughs, his throat itches. He closes his laptop in disbelief, he looks over at the clock, it's half past five in the morning. He turns over to the side of his bed and it all feels so cold, so he grabs the phone on his nightstand, opens Twitter and takes a deep breath in, then out.
Chaos.
Pure chaos.
Everyone hates it. So does he.
Will Byers didn't deserve such fate, Mike surely isn't his Tammy – Louis was not his Tammy and they were best friends.
He scrolls through the tweets threatening the Duffer Brothers, the Milevens being as disappointed as Bylers, even Stancies and Jancies are hurt. No one is content, but somehow he has faith. Faith that the finale will bring him some peace.
No one wants to relive rejection. He knows what it's like to be rejected all his childhood, but when he met Louis it was different, even though Louis figured himself out much later — maybe too late — he was Will and he had his Mike and it didn't go this way. And sure not everyone gets that experience but it's not fair, not fair to harm the most traumatised character even further by making him self-reject and go through a public humiliation of coming out to everyone. What the hell did Vecna show him to scare him so much he had to do this? Harry wonders, searching for answers in his mind.
Harry starts typing out a tweet,
Byler is happening in the finale, if it doesn't the Duffer Brothers just cannot write.
He posts it without a care in the world on his undercover account where he argues with people about everything, whether it's TV shows, movies, music or politics he says it all on here. He never reads about himself though it would hurt too much.
He thinks about his fans though, how they have been waiting for so long and somehow this ending of volume two has unlocked a new fear in him: being hated for doing what he loves. Of course he hates what the Duffers did but what if it happens to him too?
It's so stupid because he would never do this, but it makes him wonder if his fans weren't also all watching this bullshit crying like he was. An idea blooms into his wandering mind.
He needs to comfort everyone. If Byler fans are also Conan Gray fans then they must all at least know about him, so he decides it's time to drop the music video for Forever, Forever tomorrow evening. Just like that, what he has been keeping to himself for so long is going to be out tomorrow. He sends a text to his team, tells them that he's going to upload it on YouTube at 5pm.
They reply that it's perfect timing. He doesn't smile. Instead he tosses his phone to the side and lies on his back.
How could they do this?
After all the slow burn and yearning, ruining it with one single sentence. It all feels so familiar I want to vomit.
He sits back up, gasping for air, Harry turns on the light on his nightstand as he shuts his eyes and tries to calm himself down while gripping his flower patterned bedsheets. They smell like nothing, just his own cologne he can no longer smell because he is so used to it. No one to wake up to, to love him back and it feels so ironic to see himself in a sixteen years old kid when even he got loved back.
He who thought Louis would reject him, when faced with the truth that Louis had loved him first hit him like a brick.
He prays, reaching for a cross necklace he isn't wearing that the finale will bring him peace. After all he deserves that, not only did he have to face his ex at the funeral of his best friend he now has to sit and watch his favourite show turn sour.
He'll blame it on Trump, the Tories, Israel, Nicki Minaj, Dubai Chocolate, Charlie Kirk and his wide eyed demon widow and most of all his own immature urge to run to social media whenever he gets upset, because nothing feels as good as fighting someone and winning arguments about stuff he shouldn't care about, all for what? Making up for his own mistakes? When there is so much at stake he just revels in overthinking.
That's what hurts the most, wearing blue and yellow outfits to hint to fans that he loves Byler and analysing each clue in each episode. But no golden sunshine could shed light on something fundamentally broken. He is a pessimist and he has a right to be: he lost the love of his life, his best friend and now Byler.
“Fuck the Duffer Brothers,” Harry says into the dark of his room before turning off his nightlamp when he feels better, “And you too Shawn Levy.” he closes his eyes and falls asleep.