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Shi Qingxuan didn’t mean for this to happen.
Well, okay, he had willingly picked up that talisman, but how was he supposed to know this would happen!?l
He wasn't exactly pleased with his current situation, but the cat life wasn't actually as bad as he thought. He got many pets (and about as many kicks); he had easier access to food (his stomach better tolerated scraps); and he got to explore many places he'd never seen before (you can only loiter so much until someone shoos you away).
His limp wasn't gone, of course, and neither was his broken arm. Even a creepy cat transformation charm wasn't going to change that much. However, he had better balance and was more agile in this form. And, while he was occasionally (read: often) banished from parts of town, he still received more pity from others than he did as a human!
Shi Qingxuan thought that the last one was odd. After all, why would humans feel more empathy for an animal than a person?
All this to say: Shi Qingxuan had adapted to the street cat life pretty seamlessly. Of course, it was sad not being able to talk with old friends anymore, but maybe that was for the best... He was better like this, less of a burden.
Shi Qingxuan pondered all this as he laid down for what was to be the last time, shivers running through his body. The alleyway floor, while cozy at first, has turned into a large pool of water, raindrops pouring down from the sky. The change of seasons saved him from the frost, but brought a large downpour in its place. While it was not freezing, it was very, very cold, and the rain didn't help. It was a miracle he made it this long anyway, he thought, as he felt his consciousness fade away.
He Xuan was walking, something he rarely did nowadays. He spent most of his time sulking in his lair, spending weeks at a time doing nothing but lying in bed.
Occasionally, Hua Cheng would send Yin Yu to drag him out of his palace, never coming in person himself, of course. Xie Lian was kind enough to invite him to the Paradise Manor for dinner sometimes, but He Xuan could sense how tense it always was, as if his mere presence bothered them.
So, on this fateful day, He Xuan wasn't sure what pushed him to leave. He, of course, chose to ignore what day it was, refusing to acknowledge its importance.
5 years.
It has been 5 years since he finally made his move on Shi Wudu, taking Shi Qingxuan down with him.
He would never admit it, but He Xuan missed Shi Qingxuan. He missed his stupid stories, he missed his dumb plans and stupid ideas, he missed his laugh... Hell, he even missed crossdressing with him!
Walking down this road brought nothing but bad memories. Out of the corner of his eyes, he swore he could see Shi Qingxuan begging Ming-xiong to stop. But when he turned to look, nothing but an empty street faced him. It was a horrid and rainy day; everyone else was taking shelter within their homes or nearby businesses. The rare passerby clutched their bamboo hats tightly and scurried past, keeping their heads down and ignoring everyone else. He Xuan was practically alone.
He walked for a bit before deciding to take a break. He wandered down a small alleyway, looking for a quiet place to rest. As a ghost, he didn’t feel fatigue, but he enjoyed the calm. However, upon entering, a small ball of fluff caught his eye.
It was a small, malnourished cat. His fur was obviously white, but caked in layers of dirt and mud. He was curled up next to the neighbouring roof’s overhang, around two seemingly broken legs. A memory popped into He Xuan’s mind, but he decidedly ignored it.
Later, He Xuan wouldn’t know what came over him, but he picked up the little creature and held him tight in his arms. He was light, too light, and shivered at the slightest movement.
When He Xuan was younger, his baby sister rescued a kitten from the street. It had been starved, cold and abandoned. Just like the cat He Xuan was holding. The He Family had adopted and cared for it until its unfortunate passing only a couple of years later.
He Xuan would blame nostalgia for what happened next, or perhaps pity, but not empathy. No, He Xuan did not feel empathy, nor sympathy. He Xuan was not kind.
He Xuan drew a teleportation seal right there on the alleyway floor and left for his lair, cat in tow.
Cold and tired, the cat, formerly known as Shi Qingxuan, barely stirred, deep in slumber.
When Shi Qingxuan woke up, he felt warmth—something he hadn’t in a long time. He also felt comfy, as if he were still sleeping on his large plush bed from his old palace. Like sleeping on a cloud, he longed to stay here forever.
This was weird for many reasons. Most particularly, Shi Qingxuan was almost certain he had fallen asleep in the rain, on cold, uncomfortable cobblestone.
Shi Qingxuan opened his eyes and stretched his body, slightly achy from lying down for so long. What he saw—or, felt—was even odder.
He was in a dim room—yes, a room—lit only by the fire in the corner. Shi Qingxuan was on a round pillow, surrounded by a couple dozen more, along with some fluffy blankets. Otherwise, the room was bare, and the door was shut.
Trapped.
Shi Qingxuan was trapped.
Shi Qingxuan jumped up, alert, when he noticed something else. Wrapped around his injured front and back legs were two little splints. Clearly intended to "heal" his injuries.
So, to recap…
Shi Qingxuan was trapped in a strange room, by some strange person who, for some strange reason, decided to bandage up his legs… How strange could this situation possibly keep getting!?
Shi Qingxuan spent the next bit of time limping around his new room, trying not to freak out. Suddenly, he heard the door slowly creak open.
Shi Qingxuan turned to face his mysterious captor and froze instantly.
Those black robes…
He Xuan?
Fear, shock and a strange sensation of comfort… A whirlwind of emotions crashed through him. Shi Qingxuan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He found me…
"Cat? I brought food," He Xuan’s low, scratchy voice filled the room.
Cat?
No, He Xuan didn’t find him. He had no idea Shi Qingxuan was, well, Shi Qingxuan!
Shi Qingxuan bolted—which, really, wasn’t much of a "bolt" as it was a hurried shuffle—toward the open door. He Xuan, of course, leisurely crouched to pick him up before he even got close to escape. Shi Qingxuan, however, did manage to leave his mark.
He Xuan pulled his injured hand away and held Shi Qingxuan further from him. With a glare, he spoke intensely to the cat:
"Scratch me again, and I’ll bring you back to where you came from, little beast."
Harsh… But is that supposed to scare him!?
Ultimately, Shi Qingxuan chose not to scratch He Xuan again. After all, he could use this to his advantage! If Shi Qingxuan was able to get He Xuan to recognize him (and promised not to kill him), he would be able to get Xie Lian and Hua Chengzu to help him return to normal!
(A small voice in the back of Shi Qingxuan’s head told him He Xuan would never want to help him after all that’s happened. Shi Qingxuan chose to ignore it.)
"Good cat," He Xuan grumbled, his voice sounding gentler than ever.
He Xuan placed Shi Qingxuan back on the makeshift bed and put a porcelain bowl of food and one of water in front of him.
"Eat."
Ever the public speaker…
Shi Qingxuan ate, finally being able to satiate his hunger. On the streets, Shi Qingxuan could feel the constant ache in his belly, sore and raw from starvation. He remembered his brother once telling him not to eat fast, lest he throw up, but he decided to ignore it.
After all, his brother was long gone… No one would be here to care anyway.
About halfway through his feast, He Xuan grabbed his scruff and held him, pulling the bowls further away from him.
Ah, so he’s decided to go the psychological torture route…
"Slow, or you'll throw up."
???
Perhaps Shi Qingxuan was wrong, but he refused to make that link in his head, deciding instead to chalk He Xuan’s strange behaviour to his reluctance to clean up any bodily substances.
Shi Qingxuan continued eating, this time at a slower pace. In the background, he could hear salty waves crashing on the isle's shores. For a moment, strangely, he felt at peace.
The cat was very complacent, He Xuan noticed.
It was as though it could understand him. Ignoring the scratch it made at first, it seemed to follow his every command. Even while bathing it (he, as became apparent), the cat barely made a fuss. It took He Xuan until the evening to finish cleaning and combing through the cat's knotted fur. By the end, the difference was huge: dirty grey mats became soft pearly-white pelts. Even by the end, the cat still showed no signs of restlessness or annoyance.
As the cat slowly began to doze off at He Xuan's feet, wrapped in warm, plush blankets, he began to think about naming the cat. Despite it—definitely—not being a permanent addition, He Xuan couldn't keep referring to it as "the cat" forever. (Or, so he reasoned with himself.) It was then that he came up with an idea.
Feng.
Wind.
He Xuan walked toward the door and raised his dominant hand. Dark, pointing claws stared back at him. He dug his claws into the wood of the door before him, etching the character for Feng into its design. The wood creaked under his pressure, and splinters fell to the floor. He Xuan was careful to clean them up, lest Feng injure himself, before staring back at his creation.
風.
It matched the flowiness of the cat's fur, He Xuan told himself.
(He refused to acknowledge the images appearing in his head of a young man with a wide grin and carefree expression, a fan enscribed with the same character in his hand.)
Walking across the beach, later, He Xuan received a spiritual communication from Hua Cheng.
Paradise Manor, tomorrow at midday. If you no-show, consider your debt tripled.
He Xuan's eyebrow twitched, and he considered burning down that stupid mansion, but he decided against it.
Fuck Off.
Damn debt collector, he tacked on the end of his sentence, just for good measure.
There was no getting out of this, it seemed. Hua Cheng probably required him for another one of his stupid favours that Yin Yu couldn't do...
Well, He Xuan would need to find a babysitter for Feng now, lest he drown himself by accident.
Shi Qingxuan woke up to warm rays of sunshine on his face and the sound of footsteps approaching his new room. (When had he started accepting it as his room?) He could also hear faint voices having a conversation: He Xuan and... someone else who sounded vaguely familiar.
He squinted his eyes against the light and stretched his body before curling up into himself once again. His eyes were planted firmly on the door, waiting to see the incoming visitors, when he noticed a familiar character carved into the dark brown wood... It was then that the door slowly swung open.
"This is Feng," Shi Qingxuan heard He Xuan say.
Feng? Did He Xuan name him Feng!?
"So, to get this straight, you... stole a cat?" The familiar stranger said.
Shi Qingxuan looked toward him and took in his appearance. Odd mask, short stature, long dark hair... The person's name was right on the tip of his tongue; he was sure of it! Just where had he seen them before?
"No, I didn't steal a cat, Yin Yu. He was suffering pathetically on the streets, and so I brought him here to prevent his untimely hypothermic death, that's all."
Yin Yu, the Waning Moon Officer, Hua Cheng's assistant.
Why was he here?
"Oddly defensive for someone who claims not to care about him... Why have me babysit him if you're so apathetic toward its wellbeing?"
Shi Qingxuan thought he must definitely be missing something... Babysitting?
He Xuan glared, "It would be... unpleasant to have to clean up more dead bodies than I have to."
Yin Yu sounded smug, "Of course, that must be it."
He Xuan looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it.
"Do you have another hundred instructions on caring for him, or was that all?" Yin Yu sounded mildy exasperated.
"No," He Xuan deadpanned.
"Right, you should probably get going to Paradise Manor now. Hua Chengzu must be waiting."
He Xuan sneered, "Fuck him. He’ll wait as long as I want him to."
He turned to leave before tacking on: "I’ll be back before midnight. Try not to kill him while I’m gone."
Yin Yu sighed, "Have some faith, I’m sure everything will go smoothly."
He Xuan made no sign of acknowledgement, instead choosing to leave silently, without any pleasantries.
Shi Qingxuan slowly began to piece together what was happening in his head. He Xuan called Yin Yu to… Babysit him while he would be busy working with Hua Cheng.
"Alright, Feng, it’s just you and me now…"
Well, there went his plans of trying to signal his predicament to He Xuan. He was supposed to figure out a method yesterday, but he was just so tired, he didn’t have the energy to think up a plan. He also decided he might as well enjoy the pampering while it lasted. After all, once he was returned to his mortal form, the only comfort he’d have was that of a flickering fire in a cold, dark alley.
While he barely knew the Waning Moon Officer, Shi Qingxuan decided it might be worth a try to see if he could figure his situation out. Then, there would be no need for an awkward confrontation between him and He Xuan.
(He secretly hoped He Xuan would confront him nonetheless. He missed his Ming He-xiong.)
During the time Shi Qingxuan was in Yin Yu’s care, he tried everything.
Pawing at the door with Feng inscribed didn’t bring anything, since he was a cat, and cats couldn’t (normally) read.
"Hmm? What’s up? So you wanna go outside?"
Looking around the lair for any memorabilia or items he could use to signal his identity wouldn’t work, as it was too tiring and agonizingly slow. (He also wondered if He Xuan even kept souvenirs. He didn’t seem the nostalgic type, especially not for what happened between them…)
"C’mon, you can do it! Need a break? Your poor legs must be bothering you so much, little Feng. It’s okay, with the talismans that your He Xuan placed, they’ll be better in no time!"
(He Xuan couldn’t fix his limp with talismans, but Shi Qingxuan didn’t comment, because he was a cat, and cats don’t speak. He did, however, to his shock, let out a rather pathetic meow in place.)
In the end, he gave up, choosing to spend his time playing around with Yin Yu, eating and sleeping. The Waning Moon Officer was nice company; he was calm and quiet, not too loud. By the time he left, Shi Qingxuan must have been asleep, since he woke up to He Xuan pacing his room.
Right, left, forward, right, door, open.
He Xuan was dead silent as he walked the dingy halls of his lair, retracing his steps to Feng's room.
His day with Hua Cheng has soured his mood to an extreme, and he wanted nothing more than to isolate himself for the next year. He Xuan had sent a communication to Yin Yu, letting him know he'd be back soon and that he could leave. He Xuan didn't want to socialize more than he had to, so he was happy to come back to an empty room.
Well, empty except for Feng at least, but Feng didn't count.
He Xuan was mildly disturbed at how comfortable he had grown to Feng's presence. He was not the type to grow attached and sentimental, and he often expressed his lack of emotions (though he knew that wasn't true). It had only been a couple of days, but he found himself needing Feng and the calm he brought to He Xuan.
When He Xuan entered the room, he noticed Feng was fast asleep, curled in his blanket pile. He should probably make him a real bed soon. (As much as he refused to admit it, Feng was likely to become a permanent addition. Just a few more days, he told himself. It was a lie, and he knew it.)
He paced the room a bit, trying to calm down. Today had been tense with Hua Cheng and brought up old wounds he wished to forget. He came back to himself only after hearing a quiet, long meow beside his feet. He looked down, and Feng stared back at him, eyes half open with sleepiness. He was still curled up in his blankets, and He Xuan wanted nothing more than to join him.
He Xuan grabbed the bundle of fluff and cat and sat on the floor with it in his arms. He scooted so he had his back against the wall. For a long while, he sat there in silence, cuddling Feng. The only noises were his and Feng's breathing, as well as a couple of sleepy meows.
For the first time in a long time, He Xuan felt at peace. He lowered his forehead against Feng's and nuzzled them together, leaving a small kiss on Feng's forehead when he was done.
It was then that the calm was interrupted.
A large burst of qi exploded from Feng, hitting He Xuan in the crossfire. His head banged against the wall, and a loud ringing overtook his hearing. He was at his feet in an instant, trying to figure out what just happened when he looked down.
There, sprawled on the floors in nothing but blankets, was... Shi Qingxuan?
Shi Qingxuan didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his current predicament. He clutched the blanket close to him and stared back at He Xuan, wide-eyed and speechless.
"..."
"..."
"Uhm... Hey, He-xiong..."
He Xuan all but yelled, "What. The. Fuck." He pushed away from the wall with more force than necessary and backed away from Shi Qingxuan toward the door.
"Wait! I can explain. Please, He-xiong."
He Xuan paused and zoned his eyes back on Shi Qingxuan before slamming a locking talisman on the door.
"Go. Explain."
Shi Qingxuan could have cried in relief. (He didn't, of course, but he could have!) He cleared his throat before awkwardly standing up, carefully clutching the blankets around him.
"Well, I mean, it's kind of a long story, really. You see, I was gathering scraps as usual, following in Xie Lian's footsteps, haha, and one of my friends ran up and started shouting about some odd thing he found, you know how they can be, and—"
He Xuan was curt as he interrupted him, "Cut to the chase, Qingxuan." He emphasized Qingxuan, his voice filled with what must have been disdain. (What else could it have been?)
Shi Qingxuan hesitated before continuing, this time slower and more careful.
"A Rogue talisman. Hit me. And, suddenly, I was a cat! And, well, one day, I go for a short nap, and the next, I wake up here! I would have tried to tell you the truth, but whenever you were here, I was just so tired! And, when I tried to tell Yin Yu, he didn't understand me, which, well, did make sense, because I was a cat and couldn't speak—" Despite his best efforts, Shi Qingxuan found himself rambling again, stopping only when He Xuan cut him off (again).
"A nap?"
Shi Qingxuan made a noise of confusion.
"You said you went to take a small nap and woke up here."
Shi Qingxuan pinched his eyebrows together, trying to figure out what he was missing. "Yeah, I did. Why?"
"Pfft—" He Xuan began to laugh in... disbelief?
The sight was such a shock that Shi Qingxuan might have pinched himself, unsure if he was perhaps dreaming.
"A nap? Really, a nap. Qingxuan, you were dying. It took me five warming talismans to get you back to a reasonable temperature," He Xuan spoke, voice thick with an emotion Shi Qingxuan couldn't place. (Worry? Fear? No, those would be impossible. Pity? Maybe...)
When Shi Qingxuan stayed silent and didn't respond, He Xuan continued:
"Honestly, I don't know what I expected from you. You're just so stupid and reckless and—"
Shi Qingxuan felt a burst of indignation. He didn't know what came over him, but he snapped. "Well, I didn't ask you, did I? Why do you even care? I'm sure you'd be much happier with me dead anyway."
A pin-drop silence filled the room. Shi Qingxuan stared with bloodshot eyes at He Xuan, whose mouth was parted in disbelief. For a long, long moment, nobody spoke. The only noise filling the room was Shi Qingxuan's intense breathing, his heart still racing from his and He Xuan's confrontation.
The first one to break was Shi Qingxuan.
"I mean, how could I blame you? I stole your life, your destiny. I should have been the one to suffer, not you."
"It wasn't you," He Xuan murmured, barely loud enough for Shi Qingxuan to hear.
"It was never you," he continued.
Shi Qingxuan didn't know how to reply. How could he respond to that?
"I... was wrong," He Xuan gritted out through his teeth.
"What do you mean you were wrong?" Shi Qingxuan felt almost dizzy.
"God, I missed you, Qingxuan! How obvious do I need to make it?" He Xuan was... blushing? He spoke softly, as if he were embarrassed.
"It's so fucking grim here, alone. I barely go outside, and when I do, all I can think about is you."
He Xuan's eyes were watery as he looked at Shi Qingxuan. He looked so... vulnerable. Shi Qingxuan had never seen this side of him.
"And, when I finally thought I had found someone, Feng, who helped calm me down and relax as you once did, he turned out to actually be you!"
Shi Qingxuan had never seen He Xuan this upset before. For as long as he could remember, He Xuan had never shown any emotions other than annoyance at his actions. Now, he was on the verge of tears, and Shi Qingxuan felt completely unprepared. He tried to think of what he could say or do, but only came up with one idea...
He Xuan, clearly done with this talk, reached for the talisman blocking the door. Shi Qingxuan quickly ran and captured He Xuan in a tight hug, not letting go.
"Argh—" He Xuan struggled and tried to shake Shi Qingxuan off, but lost his balance in the process. He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan were sent flying to the floor with a thump. Shi Qingxuan was straddling He Xuan, his forearms caught on either side of his head. Their noses were touching, and their lips barely separated from each other. Shi Qingxuan thought for a moment before deciding: there was no better time than the present.
Shi Qingxuan pushed his face against He Xuan's in a messy kiss. Shi Qingxuan felt momentary guilt and regret before He Xuan began to kiss back. It was bad and amateur, but it was so, so perfect. They separated after what felt like years, neither one of them wanting to stop. Somewhere along the way, He Xuan had sat up and grabbed Shi Qingxuan's waist, pulling him in close until they were almost one.
"He-xiong..."
"Qingxuan."
They were both breathless from their kiss, panting softly.
"Stay," He Xuan whispered.
"Gladly," Shi Qingxuan smiled.
There was no need for any more big conversations or discussions between the two; that was a problem for the future. Right now, the only important thing was that Shi Qingxuan loved He Xuan, and He Xuan loved Shi Qingxuan. There was no need to tell each other verbally, because their words had already been conveyed through their actions.
While Shi Qingxuan didn't mean for all this to happen, he certainly couldn't say he wasn't pleased with the outcome.
"Uhm, He-xiong?"
"Hm?"
"Could you... Pass me your outer robe? Please?"