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"STEVE"
The words rip through Dustin's throat, his heart feeling like it's going to explode in pure terror as he watched his best friend tumble to the edge of the tower.
Dustin can't get there fast enough. He's shit at running, and Mike and Robin are in the way, and everyone is falling and there is too much happening and he can't get there.
He tries to push through the people, tears forming in his eyes, feeling like he's about to throw up as he watches Steve go over the ledge. He manages to latch onto it, but it's only for a few seconds before- before-
Before he disappears under the tower.
And Dustin can't breathe. Dustin can't breathe and his heart is beating out of his chest-feeling like it was ripped out- and his head hurts and he's frozen solid and all he can do is scream.
"NO!" He wails. His throat feels raw as the cry drags on and he wants to throw up.
He doesn't even notice that the bottom of the abyss had halted its efforts to merge, that the radio tower was no longer crumbling. He pushed through his friends, desperate and scared and about to break down right at that very moment if he sees what he know will inevitably be there.
And it is. Oh god, it is.
Steve is lying motionless on the ground, 100 feet below the rest of the party. Gone. Dead
And Dustin would have followed him then and there if his legs didn't give in beneath him. Silence surrounds him as he howls his best friend's name, as he falls apart right in front of the eyes as the party. Someone winds their arms around his shoulders, tries to pull his eyes away from the horror below. But he can't.
He sobs and he screams for Steve. Steve- who would have been there in a matter of seconds if he heard the devastating sounds leaving the boy who had become his little brother.
Eventually he takes notice of what's happening around him. Nancy is the one with her arms around him. Everyone is crying, and Robin looks like she's about to pass out. Nancy must have noticed his cries had lessened, because she let go of him.
As soon as she did, Dustin makes a leap over the edge of the tower.
He isn't successful. Someone grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him back, just before his other foot went over the edge. Yells erupt around him as Jonathan grabs his shoulders.
"What the hell, Dustin?"
Dustin tries to pull away, tries to shake the older boys grip so he could follow his best friend into nothingness.
"You don't understand," He babbles, hyperventilating. "You don't understand, he promised- I PROMISED."
Jonathan holds him close, murmuring apologies and comforts. But his arms aren't as sturdy as Steve's and his jacket is stiff and he doesn't have the lingering smell of Farrah Fawcett spray and he's Will's big brother not Dustin's, Dustin's is dead on the ground, and he needs to go with him, HE NEEDS TO GO WITH HIM-
Dustin shoots up, feeling warm and sweaty. His heart is beating outside his chest, and his face is drenched in tears, and he needs to get to Steve, he needs to get to Steve-
He scrambles out of his bed (he's in bed? Wasn't he just in the radio tower?), nearly falling face first while escaping the knots of his blankets. He scours the room, trying to see through the darkness. Eventually his eyes land on Steve- unconscious on the mattress in the corner of Dustin's room.
Dead dead on the ground falling falling 100 feet lifeless he promised he promised gonegoneGONE-
"Steve!" Dustin choked out, falling to his knees as he reached Steve's side, near hysterics, desperately shaking the older boy's shoulder. "Steve, please- please you have to...I need you- Steve-"
At the sound of the younger boy wailing his name, Steve shot up, nearly bonking heads with Dustin. Dustin sobbed in relief, his heart and head hurting and honestly on the verge of throwing up.
(Just like the dream. But Steve was right here. Steve was right here)
"Henderson?" Steve murmured, eyes widening at the hysterical state of his best friend. "Hey- Dustin what's wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen-?"
Dustin shook his head then lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Steve's neck and let out a deep, guttural sob of relief.
"What's wrong?" Though Steve's voice was frantic and panicked, it had also taken a softer tone. The tone he only used when Dustin was upset. "Bud, please take a deep breath, please, you're gonna make yourself sick."
Steve pulled back, keeping his hands planted on the younger boy's forearms. Dustin tried to breathe in, he really did, but he was finding the task to have become increasingly difficult.
Steve gently took one of Dustin's hands, guiding it to rest on Steve's heart. The action alone slowed Dustin's frantic mind as his attention shifted towards the repetitive beats. Over and over and over and over.
"Look at me, Dust," Steve said gently. "Match me, okay."
They sat there for what seemed like hours, Steve coaching Dustin's breathing, Dustin focusing solely on the rhythmic beat of Steve's heart. Feeling his warmth and hearing his breath and realizing he was here, he was alive.
Eventually, one Dustin had calmed down, Steve pulled the younger boy to his chest, pressing the kid's ear to his heart and burying his hand in Dustin's mop of curls.
"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked.
Dustin hesitated before whispering, "It's- it's stupid. I had a nightmare."
"It's not stupid," Steve pulled back just slightly, looking the kid in the eye. "It's not. I get them too. What was it about?"
"You," Dustin could feel the tears rising again and he looked away. "Jonathan not catching you when you... when you-"
“But he did,” Steve rubbed between his shoulders. “I’m still here.”
”It’s just- in my dream you weren’t and it felt so real,” Dustin hiccuped, fighting against himself in order to keep the sobs at bay. “And you had said- you had said you die, I die. We agreed. But they- Jonathan and Nancy and the others- they wouldn’t let me.”
Steve’s eye grew wide in realization of what the younger boy meant. “Wouldn’t let you? Let you… let you die?”
The last word came out as a whisper, and Dustin could see the faint glassiness in the older boy’s eyes as the thought of Dustin… of Dustin doing what he had said worked his way through Steve’s brain.
”I wanted to follow you. I was going to follow you.”
Steve stared at him for a moment, and everything seemed to stop. “Dustin… if that had actually happened, would you have-?”
”We made a promise,” Dustin croaked. “And by then I would have done everything they needed me to.”
Steve shook his head, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. “No, no, no-“
”I wouldn’t have been able to do it, Steve,” The kid could only rasp. “I’ve already lost Eddie- but losing you? Steve losing you would kill me.”
Steve just continued shaking his head, pulling Dustin close again and holding him tighter then the older boy’s had ever held him before.
”But you have so much- there’s so much out there for you. You can’t jut throw it away because of me Dust, how could you… forget the stupid promise,” Steve’s voice was becoming far more frantic, far more desperate. “You’d need to live… you’d have to, man.”
”Not without you. Never without you.”
Steve just kept shaking his head, holding Dustin tighter and burying his face in the boy’s hair. They sat there in silence, for a while. Steve rocking them back and fourth, Dustin listening to the too-fast beat of his older brother’s heart.
”You wouldn’t- you wouldn’t do it while I’m still here, would you?” Dustin could barely pick up Steve’s voice as he whispered into his ear.
Dustin hesitated, just barely, and Steve let out a strangled, “Dustin.”
”No.” Dustin said firmly. “No, I wouldn’t, I swear. But this past year there’s been- uh- there’s been some times where I’ve thought about it. Just for a second, honestly. But not anymore. I couldn’t do that to you.”
”Good,” Steve pulls back slightly to look Dustin in the eyes. “Good, because same. It would absolutely kill me, Henderson. If that happened.”
Dustin’s eyes filled with tears yet again, and the two press their foreheads together. Just for a second. Just to relinquish in the fact that they’re alive. That the other is alive. That they might end up being okay.
After a moment, Steve stands up, Dustin still tucked firmly in his side. They walk over to Dustin’ bed and Steve lays them both down.
”What’re we doin?” Dustin nearly slurs, the fact that it is 4 in the morning catching up to him.
”Sleeping, idiot. Relax.” Steve brings the blankets up to cover them both.
Dustin presses his ear to his favorite spot- Steve’s heart- once again, and let’s himself be comforted by the fact that it just keeps going.
Over and over and over.
”I love you, man.” Dustin whispers, sleepiness drenching his voice.
”You too dude. Always.” Dustin closes his eyes and feels Steve run his hands through Dustin’s hair, feels him lay his head against the younger boy’s. “Sleep, okay? I’m right here. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
So he does.
It’s the best sleep the two have had in years.