Work Text:
"You're 100% certain?" Shane asked, turning to look out of the window of his office. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful and vibrant glow over the city.
"I would never come to you if I wasn't."
"Thank you. You're dismissed."
Shane waited for the hero to leave before he turned around. His heart was bleeding. He looked at the manila folder on his desk. He refused to open it. Ignoring the tears that burned in his eyes, he turned back to the sunset, foolishly hoping it wasn't true.
He knew it was. Deep in his heart he had always know, he had just chosen to pretend. Love did that to you. Erased the worst.
He packed his bag quietly before leaving the office. He slid the manila folder into the front pocket of his briefcase. He glanced at the name plate on his desk.
Nightwing: Head hero
Shane did not want to be head hero if it meant he had to do this.
The walk to his apartment was done in silence. He did not smile at the old lady that always sat on her front porch, or wave to the dogs that were always being walked at this time. He just walked. The poison in his pocket felt like a brick.
As he entered his apartment, he placed his briefcase on the floor, but got out the folder, clutching it in his hands. He stared out his apartment window. The right thing to do was clear. The wrong thing was even more apparent.
The sun's last rays of the day slipped below the horizon.
Their time was up. They were doomed from the start; they both knew it. Shane didn't think it would end like this, so soon. Ten years wasn't long enough.
The door opened exactly thirty minutes after Shane arrived home. On time as usual. "Do you want to get take-out for-"
Ilya noticed Shane staring out the window. He noticed his rigid posture. He noticed the folder sitting on the kitchen counter last.
Shane refused to look at him.
He heard Ilya's breath hitch as he noticed the pills in Shane's hand. The pills only assigned for a threat.
"They know." Shane hated the way his voice trembled. "You have twenty minutes."
Ilya took a careful step towards him. Shane threw the pills; they spilled across the floor. Ilya was wise to not take another step closer. Shane turned, furious, finally meeting Ilya's eyes. "I'll stage a crime scene, although that seems to be your specialty."
He was all venom now. It covered the pain in his voice, in his heart. Shane would rather be angry right now. It was better than falling apart. he kicked the glass table next to him, tipping it, and shattering it. Glass flew everywhere.
"I acted normal when you arrived home. My plan was to poison you at dinner. You found the pills. You attacked me, then escaped."
Shane scattered the books along the bookshelf next, throwing a couple on the floor. He pulled the pocketknife from his pocket, "Shan-"
"Don't!" He hissed, drag a deep line down his arm. Blood pooled instantly. He ignored the plead in Ilya's voice.
Shane began to scatter his own blood around the living room.
"Fifteen minutes."
"Let me explain." Ilya pleaded.
"I don't want to hear another bullshit lie from you! I knew the whole time; I just didn't want to believe that the love of my life was a liar!"
"Shane, please! I didn't do it to hurt you!"
"I told you everything about my past. Every last, painful, disgusting, and even incriminating thing! I never once lied to you. What did you do in return? Lied for five fucking years! Five years!"
Shane cut a line down his face next. Blood cascaded down his cheek. He slammed his fist into his face next, whimpering as the pain filled his head.
"Go. Pack."
Ilya listened. He knew nothing could change what he did. How he betrayed the heroes, how he betrayed Shane. He would be hunted for the rest of his life. Shane started crying then, sobbing. He continued to spread blood around the scene. He slammed his head against the broken table. Blood poured out of the back of his head.
Ilya came back with only five minutes left.
"Shane." The man was crying.
"Knock me out and leave Ilya, it's the only way." The resolve in his voice, in his face, made Ilya cry harder. Shane gave him the knife. Ilya held it so his fingerprints would be able to be identified, then he tossed the knife. He cupped Shane's cheek, caressing it once.
"One day maybe you won't be angry anymore. That day, I'll find you again."
Ilya reeled his fist back, then slammed it into Shane's temple. Shane felt himself fading.
"I love you." The broken part of him whispered.
Fate was cruel in that moment. His body was unable to fight the darkness long enough for him to hear Ilya's reply.
-
Shane awoke in a hospital. He was alone. The tears came again.
He hoped Ilya had gotten away.
Shane could have never brought himself to kill him. It didn't matter how evil Ilya could become, or whatever other heinous act he could commit, Shane could never kill him. He loved him too much.
The drugs made the pain muted. He welcomed the numbness. He would want more of that. It would be a long and hard road ahead of him. Shane would be questioned most likely. No one knew the two heroes Nighthawk and Lightracer were in love. The two played their parts well. They were known to be work friends, that's all.
The heroes knew one thing. Lightracer had betrayed them for longer than they could imagine. They would stop at nothing to kill him.
Shane knew that Ilya was smart enough to get away. The man had connections. He should have no problem getting a new identity and escaping the city. Shane hoped the man wasn't foolish enough to return for him.
Shane would never stop loving him. It didn't matter how long he lived. Shane would still love him.
Ilya had betrayed him, yes, but Shane could care less. Ilya could kill thousands, and Shane would not question it, not as long as he told him the truth.
Truth was the only thing that mattered to Shane.