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Ravi can’t say he’s surprised.
When The Thought occurred to him, Ravi was surprised for a moment, then figured that, yeah, that kind of makes sense. (That’s not great, right? Or, like, being a bad ally or something? To say that you can tell? Fuck, now he feels bad.)
But Ravi knows far too much about Eddie. There’s the fact that he’s worked with him on and off throughout the years, and you can’t work a 24-hour shift without at least getting to know each other a bit.
Then there’s also the fact that he’s been Buck’s partner for more than six months now. Months. Months of hearing about Eddie, about Chris, about Eddie’s aunt and grandmother, who, by the way, Buck would regularly meet up with while Eddie was in Texas.
So, yeah.
Ravi knows a lot about Eddie, even though Eddie himself hasn’t told him much.
(Well, with words. Eddie’s facial expressions are another story, honestly.)
The conversation with Buck and Eddie in the locker room stuck with Ravi a bit, listening to Buck go on and on about Eddie having a—mental?—chastity belt on, etc., etc. Ravi usually half-listens to Buck in moments like these, because, holy hell, can the guy ‘find’ meaning in the calls they go on. It’s admirable, optimistic in a way that Ravi has never been, but after a shift, Ravi does not have the energy to try to dissect how the universe is connected or some shit.
Ravi had laughed at the conversation about Eddie’s love life when they first got on it, but he saw how Buck got stuck on the topic, how Eddie started weakening at the idea of going out. Ravi had thought, fuck it, he’s probably gonna end up going out for drinks on his night off anyway, and Eddie clearly needs some help picking up.
It was similar to other nights Ravi and Buck had gone out. Not that there had been many, but Ravi had seen Buck pull before. Ravi has experienced Wingman-Buck. Even after moving back to LA, Eddie rarely joined them on a night out, and definitely not if it was a club, with the intention to pick up.
It was funny, trying to pick out girls for Eddie to go talk to this time. Buck was pretty easy to wingman for. The man did not have a type and was insanely charming. Eddie, on the other hand, was not feeling the vibes, apparently.
He shot down their first few suggestions, mostly helping Ravi joke around and tease Buck a little. It didn’t really make sense. Eddie has an entire child, so Ravi knows that he must have some game. He knows Eddie doesn’t sleep around, but the guy seems really reluctant to talk to anyone, dismissing the women without thinking about it too much.
But Ravi’s seen Eddie talk to people on calls, flashing smiles left and right like he doesn’t know what he looks like. Eddie is charismatic, very easy to talk to, and—not that he would ever tell Eddie this to his face—objectively insanely attractive.
So when Eddie dismissed Buck’s fuckboy-sounding (but unfortunately factual) knowledge about picking up, Ravi couldn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth.
“How can you be so bad at this?”
Well, he didn’t mean to say it like that. On paper, it was no different than other chirps they’ve fired at each other all evening. But this question hung in the air between them, and Ravi felt every single fucking second of eye contact with Eddie.
He doesn’t want this.
The thought bounced around in Ravi’s head while Buck walked away to talk to the woman across the club.
He doesn’t want to be here, doesn’t want to pick up, doesn’t want—
The distress in Eddie’s voice pulled Ravi out of his head long enough to reassure Eddie with a quick, “let your wingman fly.”
It was a dumb line, but Eddie slumped back towards where Ravi had clapped him on his shoulder. He was tense, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation, but they watched Buck approach the woman who was looking over at Eddie earlier.
They sipped their beers, quietly watching Buck and her talk. When Buck put his arm up, leaning into her to speak into her ear, Eddie let out a heavy breath, then pulled a long sip of beer.
“You know,” Ravi started, even though he had no idea how he was going to end the sentence, “you don’t, like, have to pick up if you don’t want to.”
Eddie made a considering noise that could have easily been a snort. “Yeah, like Buck would just let this go now.”
Ravi was trying to come up with a response to that when Eddie muttered, “Here we go.”
Ravi followed Eddie’s eyeline to Buck, who was pointing over at them.
“Oh, God.”
Oh, God was right. Buck was pretty into the conversation, it seemed.
Ravi furrowed his brow and said, “Wow, he’s really warming her up for you.”
“And,” Eddie drawled, “he’s getting her number.”
Eddie’s voice sounded bitter, a bit, but Ravi was focused on Buck breaking the number one wingman rule. “Traitor.”
Buck showed up, apologetic—he should be—and then promptly disappeared again.
“Sorry, man,” Ravi offered, leaning his beer towards Eddie’s. “His wingman game is usually better.”
Eddie laughed softly, clinking his bottle back in thanks before taking a sip. “Honestly? I’m a little relieved I didn’t have to go talk to her.”
He doesn’t want this, pinged around in Ravi’s head again.
“Really?” Ravi asked, intrigued. “She’s pretty hot though.”
“Not my type,” Eddie replied easily.
Ravi could have pressed, asking things like what is your type? Why haven’t you hooked up in over a year? But Eddie was already speaking again.
“Where’s Buck?” he mumbled. “Not like it takes long to take a leak.”
And oh.
It was that moment that The Thought popped up in his brain.
Eddie wants Buck.
✭
Buck, as Ravi has already established, talks a lot about Eddie. So, it’s not like Ravi hasn’t thought things like Buck wants Eddie, Buck is in love with Eddie, does Buck know he’s in love with Eddie?
It’s not always evident, but every once and a while, especially after a long day or a few beers (or both), Buck gets wistful when he talks about Eddie. It happens less now that Eddie’s back; it’s just that now, his voice is tainted with fondness. There’s still a note of longing, but Ravi is fairly certain Buck is not aware of that.
It’s just that The Thought about Eddie caught him off guard because it was a logical impossibility.
Of course, the idea that Buck’s feelings weren’t reciprocated had crossed Ravi’s mind, which was one of the main reasons why Ravi never addressed it with Buck. It would only be a painful conversation.
He and Eddie didn’t have any other conversations about it for the rest of the night, chatting with Buck and watching him flit around the room like the social butterfly he is. Buck is a good wingman sometimes, and Ravi ended up with the phone number of a beautiful brunette named Christina because of Buck.
(She’s a vet tech, and she has a one-eyed cat named Nex, short for Kleenex Box. Because Christina found the cat in a Kleenex box behind the dumpster at the vet. She’s very much a believer in the cat distribution system, which Ravi doesn’t understand, but it was really cute to see her talk about it like it was magical, or something. Ravi might be halfway in love with her already, even though they’ve only been talking for a few days.)
But Eddie didn’t leave with anyone’s phone number. Barely spoke to anyone but Ravi and Buck.
Hm.
Ravi doesn’t think about it much, not until they’re talking in the gym about how Buck had slept with both people he had been chatting with at the club.
He’s momentarily distracted by the fact that Buck slept with siblings, but after Buck wanders off to break up with the siblings he’s currently dating, Eddie drops his weights.
“Leave it to Buck to sleep with siblings, out of all the single people in LA,” Eddie jokes, wiping some sweat off his face with the back of his wrist.
Ravi huffs. “Is this, like, the return of Buck 1.0 or whatever you guys called him?”
Eddie laughs, but it sounds kind of empty. Polite, almost, like a customer service laugh. “Yeah, but I wasn’t here for that era. When I started at the 118, Buck was busy pining over Abby.”
Woah. That’s a lot of venom packed into Abby’s name.
Ravi looks over at Eddie and raises an eyebrow.
“He was totally in love with her, but after her mom died, she needed to leave LA,” Eddie says, keeping his voice low even though they’re the only people in the gym. “Which, by itself, is completely understandable. Grief is–grief is fucked. But she didn’t really tell him? Until all her bags were packed and her ticket was booked. She left him in her apartment, and didn’t break up with him. He waited for her.”
Buck’s talked about Abby before. It’s always been tinged with nostalgia, Buck reminiscing about being a dumb kid who fell in love, and I was in way over my head, man. When Buck talks about his first year, he mentions how the 118, mostly Bobby, forced him to grow. He lumped Abby in with that, saying that the first heartbreak is necessary for growth, or something.
Eddie is not speaking about her the same way that Buck does.
“She wouldn’t really call him back, or text, anything, and he was still loyal to her. He moved on after a few months, but he was pretty shattered. Then, a couple of years later, we were responding to a train that had been derailed, and there she is, back in LA,” Eddie continues, pausing and looking at Ravi. “With a fiancé.”
“No,” Ravi gasps, unable to prevent the sound from leaving his mouth. “Buck’s talked about her a bit, but he’s always made it sound like she helped him grow, or whatever, and it didn’t work out.”
Eddie grumbles. “Yeah, well, Buck tends to see his exes with rose-coloured lenses, even if they did him wrong.”
Hmm.
Hmm.
“Not a fan of his exes then?” Ravi asks, slightly endeared by how grumpy Eddie has gotten over the course of this conversation.
Eddie casts a scathing look in Ravi’s direction. “I just wish he would find someone who really wants to be with him, you know?”
“Yeah,” Ravi says, thinking about Buck waxing poetic about Eddie, “I know what you mean.”
✭
For the record, Ravi doesn’t try to end up in these conversations. They just tend to happen around him. To him, even, which is even more mortifying.
Ravi doesn’t really know what to make of the conversation with the couple–couple, not siblings, and Ravi doesn’t really know which option is worse there, so–nor does he know what to do about the look he got from Jade. Sure, she’s hot as hell, but Ravi is not touching this situation with a fifty-foot pole.
Eddie goes back to packing his bag, head down and back facing the rest of the firehouse.
“This is what I meant,” Eddie mumbles, still not looking up.
Ravi doesn’t know what he’s referring to. The long shift made his brain all soupy and slow, and Eddie is basically speaking in riddles.
“Meant when?” Ravi asks.
Eddie peeks over his shoulder at Buck and the couple, then turns back to look at his bag. “When I said he should be with someone who really wants him. They just want a third that they both think is hot. Or, fuck, I don’t know. Maybe they wanted to become a throuple. I really don’t know.”
“Oh,” Ravi replies, dumbly. “What’s your, uh, ideal partner for Buck? Like, if you could choose.”
Eddie’s head snaps up. He looks weirdly tense.
“Uh,” Eddie chews on his lip a bit, “someone who sees him, all of him. Someone who chooses to be with him. Someone who knows when to push, when to leave him to his thoughts. He gets all trapped in his head, needs to be pulled out of it, but he also needs time to process shit and calm down.”
Ravi nods, encouraging Eddie to continue. Because, holy shit.
“They can’t be childfree. I just can’t see Buck not being a dad,” Eddie sighs, looking back down to finish packing his bag. “He’s always been so good with Chris.”
Ravi blinks.
Does Eddie even know what he sounds like? Is he hearing the words come out of his mouth?
“They need to listen to him,” Eddie continues, completely unaware of Ravi’s shock. “Appreciate him. Even when he’s on a baking kick and just made gluten-free vegan protein brownies or whatever the fuck that monstrosity from last month was.”
(Eddie ate the entire brownie.
And then had a second one when Buck seemed a little dejected that the plate hadn’t been cleared by the whole shift yet.
Ravi, on the other hand, did not finish his brownie. It was horrible, and he does not regret not forcing one down.)
The Thought is so loud in Ravi’s mind that it feels like his ears are ringing.
“Buck deserves someone like that,” Eddie says, like he didn’t just describe himself. “It’s hard to watch him date sometimes. I just–even I could do so much better than most–well, all–of his exes.”
Ravi chokes on his spit. It’s not cute. He actually might die, right here, in the locker room; he can’t get air into his lungs.
“Dude,” Eddie says, looking faintly alarmed.
Ravi can finally breathe again, but his trachea is probably shredded.
“It’s fine,” Ravi rasps, “I’m fine.”
Eddie looks skeptical. It’s fine. Ravi almost died because Eddie’s a dumbass, but Ravi will give him a pass this time because this is, like, an insane level of dumbassery.
“Why don’t you?” Ravi asks, clearing his throat again.
They’ve made it this far, so, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?
Eddie looks confused, scrunching his nose. “Why don’t I what?”
“Date him,” Ravi says with so much more confidence than he feels. This is what a near-death experience does to a guy, he guesses. “If you know you’d be better than his exes, why not just, uh, date him?”
It feels sacrilegious to say out loud. The whole Buck-and-Eddie thing has been left unsaid for so long, Ravi has missed many chapters of it, but he knows damn well nobody addresses it like this.
Or, that he’s aware of.
Fuck, what if they all agreed not to talk to Buck and Eddie about this? What if Hen and Chim are just happy to ignore whatever’s going on with them? He’s never heard them gossip about them like that, nothing but a few jokes about Buck and Eddie being an old married couple.
“Date–no, I’m, uh, I don’t,” Eddie stammers, looking more unsure than Ravi has ever seen. Oops. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s not. That’s not me. I can’t–I can’t just date a–I can’t date Buck.”
Ravi knows he’s running out of time, Buck’s going to come back into the locker room at some point, and hopefully that’s after Eddie has finished short-circuiting. Ravi can’t say something snarky like ‘can’t’ is such an interesting word choice there, Eddie.
“Right,” Ravi placates. He crosses his arms so that he doesn’t do something stupid like finger guns just to defuse the situation. “That’s fine, man. It’s–I didn’t mean to–” Ravi cuts himself off, takes a breath. “I wanna see him happy, too. That’s all.”
Eddie’s eyes are wide, slightly frantic when Ravi looks over at him again. Over Eddie’s shoulder, Ravi sees Buck turn back towards them, approaching the locker room again. He figures that after lobbing a grenade into Eddie’s mind that he should probably warn him.
“Buck’s coming back, by the way,” Ravi whispers as he zips up his bag. Fuck, he needs to get out of here.
“It’s done,” Buck announces as he stalks towards his bag, still sitting open on the bench. “I broke up with two people at once. Who are already married. To each other. And I slept with both of them. While they are happily married. To each other.”
Oookay. Clearly someone’s still processing.
Eddie’s not going to be any help right now, eyes locked on his shaky hands tying his laces. Ravi sighs.
“Better than sleeping with siblings, I guess?” Ravi offers lightly.
Buck drops his head back, groaning at the ceiling. “Both situations are bad.”
“Yeah,” Ravi says, completely lost as to how to console someone in this situation.
“Right,” Eddie says, voice tight, “I’m, uh, I gotta go.”
Ravi watches Eddie flee, and then looks at Buck, who’s staring at the space where Eddie had been standing.
“So, I think I’m gonna head out, too.” Ravi yawns. “Need to get some sleep after I go visit Hen.”
✭
Ravi almost forgets about everything with Buck and Eddie because Christina, the girl from the club, is the coolest person ever. She works at an emergency vet, as a surgical vet nurse, and they get along so well.
Ravi, for the longest time, struggled with whether dating another first responder was better or not. It’s terrifying to think of them going into a burning building, an active shooter situation, or whatever emergency they have to face. But it’s also hard to date someone who doesn’t get it. Shifts are fucking hard sometimes, and his friends who aren’t in jobs like that don’t quite understand it.
And, yeah, Christina isn’t a first responder, but she has hard shifts, she has losses on the job that stay with her. It’s high-intensity, life-or-death work, just for pets. But she knows what he means when Ravi says that he can’t sleep because of anything from a draining shift that’s stuck on him to adrenaline from a crazy rescue or something.
Ravi and Christina text all throughout Ravi’s day off, and when they can while they’re both at work. Towards the end of their shift, Ravi notices that Christina sent some texts while they were responding to a car crash.
no i know!!! LOL it’s horrible
but it’s still one of my favourite movies
also
if we’re both not too tired after our shifts
do you want to grab coffee?
or something light
Ravi’s butterflies stay for the remainder of his shift, praying that nobody pukes on him and that Christina has a good shift, too.
Buck also has plans after work: he’s ‘hanging out’ with Denny, Mara, Jee and Baby Bob.
(Apparently, he has to call it ‘hanging out’ because Denny started hating being ‘babysat’ a few years ago, saying that he wasn’t a baby anymore. But that means that Mara also hates it. Which means that Jee also hates it.)
Ravi has been hearing about Buck’s plans with the kids all day: baking, mandatory nap time (Buck included), watching a Disney movie Ravi has literally never heard of in his life, and then some sort of craft thing. Eddie’s been looking weirdly dejected for most of the shift, so Ravi’s just been focusing on getting Buck to fill the silence with craft ideas he found on Pinterest that Mara and Jee would like.
When Buck flies out of the locker room as quickly as he can once the shift is over, Eddie releases a huge sigh, like he’s been holding his breath all day. Ravi would look over at him to see what’s going on, but he can’t remember if he put deodorant on after his shower. Oh, God. Should he put on cologne? No, that would be a lot for a coffee date. Would it? It’s like Ravi has forgotten everything he knows about going on a date.
While Ravi is double-checking that his fly is up, Eddie sighs again.
Ravi finally looks up, and Eddie is looking over at him with big, pleading eyes. What the fuck? Who knew Eddie Diaz could look so sad? Despondent, even. It’s not fair.
“Yes, Firefighter Diaz, can I help you?” Ravi deadpans. If it were urgent, Eddie wouldn’t hold back. Ravi’s spidey senses are tingling, and he just knows Eddie is about to start a conversation Ravi does not have the time for.
“Fuck you,” Eddie says without any bite. “You were right.”
Ravi flickers through the last few hours, thinking about anything he and Eddie debated on or disagreed about. He must look extremely confused because Eddie sighs–again–and starts fiddling with his fingers.
“You were right about–about Buck,” Eddie groans. “I want to date…”
The end of the sentence is hanging in the air, so charged that Ravi is certain that if he stuck out his hands, he would be able to touch the word Buck, floating in between them.
“I…” Ravi doesn’t know how to respond, really, but Eddie is looking extra sad and nervous now, so Ravi knows he has to do something. “C’mere, man.”
He holds out his arms, feeling weird about it for a moment. They’re not exactly hugging friends. Eddie isn’t as touchy as Buck, so Ravi starts to get worried–
But Eddie returns it, wrapping Ravi up in a tight hug.
Ravi hugs him back, claps him on the shoulder and then backs up a bit. Ravi is actually going to die if he has to see Eddie’s sad cow eyes pointed at him any longer, but Eddie looks a bit more relaxed now, luckily for everyone.
“I didn’t mean to, like, make you have a crisis about all of this,” Ravi mutters, the memories of Eddie looking out of sorts during the shift making a pit of guilt grow in his stomach. “But, uh, thank you for telling me? And I’m proud of you. That’s…a lot to come to terms with in a couple of days.”
“Ugh,” Eddie says, pulling away even though he’s got a small smile he’s trying to hide. “You didn’t make me have a crisis. The crisis was already there, I guess. I was just ignoring it. And I can’t talk to Buck about it.”
“Talking to Buck about it would probably solve it,” Ravi points out.
“Ravi,” Eddie pouts. “I can’t talk to Buck about Buck. Hen’s not here, and Karen is taking care of Hen. I can’t talk to Chim about this, because then he’ll tell Maddie. And he would probably also make me do some sort of workplace relationship HR thing since he’s all about being Captain Han now.”
Ravi nods. It makes sense. That doesn’t mean Ravi is the only option, though.
“Athena,” Ravi says, feeling his mouth twitch as he tries to suppress a smile.
“Athena?” Eddie whisper-yells. “You want me to talk to Athena about this?”
Ravi shrugs. He’s sure that if Athena knew everything Ravi knows, she would sort it out in a day. Maybe less. But Eddie’s right. Athena is a little terrifying, and the thought of going to her with a personal issue makes Ravi nearly break out in hives.
“Athena,” Eddie sighs. “I can’t believe you. I need you to be serious here, man.”
“Okay, okay,” Ravi says, pretending to be put out. “My bad. What’s wrong?”
Eddie groans. “My aunt is trying to set me up.”
“Yikes.”
“Exactly,” Eddie says, and then starts pacing. “And Buck was sitting right there. And I couldn’t be like, no, Pepa, I don’t want to be set up with Marta’s daughter because then she would be like Eddito, why? You haven’t dated in so long and then I wouldn’t be able to say anything to that.”
“Yeah,” Ravi says, and he opens his mouth to ask about what all of this means, but Dawson walks into the locker room, whistling as he heads toward the showers.
Eddie and Ravi silently agree to leave the very public locker room, walking towards their cars. Ravi tosses his bag into his back seat, thinking about the quickest way to get to the cafe, when Eddie clears his throat.
“Come over?” Eddie asks softly. “For a beer, or something?”
“It’s ten am,” Ravi replies automatically. “I can’t come over, though.”
Ravi pulls out his phone and fires off a couple of texts to Christina.
i’m going to be late
i’m still coming!!
but my coworker just realized he’s
in love with our other coworker
oh my god
i’ll forgive u on one condition
tell me everything when you get here
i’ll have coffee waiting :)
Ravi smiles and locks his phone, turning back towards Eddie.
“Alright. Can you drive me to the Alfred Coffee on Melrose, and we can talk on the way?” Ravi sighs, knowing that he did, in fact, open this can of worms, and now he has to eat it. Or whatever the saying is.
“Melrose?” Eddie asks, frowning a bit. “That’s so far.”
“Think about how much longer we’ll have to talk, then,” Ravi says with a dry laugh, walking towards Eddie’s truck.
Eddie groans, stomping behind him slightly. “Fine, but I’m not picking you up.”
“You’re such a dad,” Ravi smiles, getting into the truck. “I don’t need a pick up.”
Honestly, Ravi would love to be picked up. He’s not admitting that now, though. It’s annoying, but he’ll probably have to catch an Uber later. Might be worth avoiding parking, at least.
“Ooh,” Eddie teases, “will you be catching a ride with someone else?”
“Do you really want to talk about my dating life,” Ravi asks slyly, “or yours?”
Eddie’s entire body twitches, making him slam the brakes while reversing out of his parking spot.
“Rude,” Eddie says, as if Ravi did anything but point out why they’re in the car together right now. “And now I know you’re going on a date.”
“Yeah, if I make it there alive,” Ravi mutters.
Eddie scowls at him, but focuses back on the road.
“So,” Ravi prompts. “I’m right,” Ravi crows as Eddie lets out an unhappy hmpf at that, “and you want to date Buck.”
“Yeah,” Eddie sighs, sounding all sad again. “I do.”
The car is silent afterwards, especially without the radio playing softly, since Eddie is a psycho who turned it off completely so they could talk.
“It’s…” Ravi says, trailing off. “I don’t know how to talk about this.”
Eddie huffs an empty-sounding laugh. “Tell me about it, man. I don’t know how to think about any of this.”
“Just, like, say everything out loud,” Ravi says, “without filtering your thoughts.”
“I can’t date a man.”
“Dude.”
“I know, I know,” Eddie winces. “It’s–I was raised Catholic, right? And I don’t know if my parents would disown me or what, but I can’t say it would be well-received. I just–can’t.”
“That fucking sucks,” Ravi says, because he can’t undo thirty years of Catholic programming, nor can he do anything about the homophobic Diazes. “But you know that no one here would have a problem with it, right? Like sure, yeah, I mean LA since it’s more progressive than fuckin’ El Paso for example, but I’m talking about the 118. This family won’t have a problem with it.”
“Of course,” Eddie croaks, voice tight. “That’s never been a block for me or anything. And my tia, Pepa, who lives here, won’t have a problem with it either.” Eddie snorts softly. “And I’m pretty sure my abuela knew. Or something. She said that I was looking in the wrong places.”
“Plus, your aunt totally loves Buck like he’s part of the family already,” Ravi says, thinking back to the snacks Josephina had dropped off during shifts a couple times for Buck while Eddie was away. They were really fucking good.
“He is part of the family,” Eddie corrects automatically, and then his face contorts. “Oh my god, he’s part of the family already.” Ravi hums, wondering why this is a revelation. “I can’t say anything to him ever. What if that fucks things up between him and everyone? I–Chris.”
Ravi is at a loss for words, truly. He’s talked to Chris maybe twice? Ever? But Buck has talked about Chris a lot, and Ravi has pretended to listen to most of that, at least.
“Is there really anything you could do that would make Buck hate Chris?” Ravi asks. “Is there anything Chris could do that would make Buck hate him? Buck talks about the kid like he hung the moon, Eddie.”
“No,” Eddie says forcefully, aghast. “Buck would never hate Chris. No matter what.”
“Exactly. And is there anything Buck could do to make Chris hate him? Anything you could do to make Chris hate him?”
“No,” Eddie says, less forceful this time. “They have their own relationship without me, I think. Like, Buck has been in Chris’s life for almost a decade, and a lot of shit has happened. I haven’t always been the best father, but Chris could lean on Buck, you know?”
“I can’t say Chris won’t be upset about something big in his life changing, but it seems like that situation is the ideal, right?”
Eddie looks over at Ravi at a red light, brows furrowed. “What?”
“Isn’t that what you want? If you’re going to have a partner and someone who’s co-parenting Chris, wouldn’t you want them to have their own relationship?” Ravi asks.
“Co-parent,” Eddie repeats softly, looking back to the road and accelerating when the light turns.
Ravi steals a look at his phone, where Christina’s text of got a table! is still waiting.
“I’ve never actually co-parented before, I think,” Eddie whispers. “I was deployed, and coming back home was like playing catch up. I was providing, and that’s what I told myself, but I wasn’t really parenting. Not like Shannon was. When I was discharged, Shannon and I had grown so far apart that we weren’t really working as a team. Then I was on my own.”
“I spent a long time looking for a co-parent.” Ravi thinks about the time he met Eddie’s girlfriend/Chris’s old teacher. Huh. “But it was hard to imagine what that looked like, especially when Buck was around. I couldn’t picture fully adding someone into the mix because there wasn’t space for that.”
“Buck’s already come as close as anyone can to co-parenting, we just haven’t called it that,” Eddie continues. “Ana and Marisol tried to fit into everything, but they couldn’t. They never got as close to Chris as Buck has, and I don’t think anyone ever could.”
They pull in front of the cafe, and Ravi wishes he could say something genuinely helpful to Eddie, but the butterflies in his stomach are making it hard to think.
“Thanks for the ride,” Ravi says, clasping his hands as he fidgets in the seat. “I know it all feels like a mess right now, but there are worse things than falling in love with your best friend.”
Eddie bites his lip and nods. “Thanks for…talking about it, I guess. Good luck on your date.”
Ravi jumps out of the car and finds Christina sitting at one of the outdoor tables, sunglasses on top of her head as she stares at the group of people at the crosswalk at the end of the block. He tries to shake out all of his nervous energy, all of the lingering weight of that conversation on the way here, and moves towards the table.
But it’s not like Ravi can escape the whole situation because after ten minutes of making small talk with Christina (which was, admittedly, way less awkward than he thought it was going to be, thank god), she puts her coffee down and levels him with a look.
“We can get to know each other later,” Christina says, eyes bright with mirth. “Right now, I want to hear about your coworkers.”
Ravi thumps his head on the table. “We’re going to need more coffee.”
Christina laughs, a beautiful sound that wraps around Ravi like a hug, and despite the fatigue from the shift and heavy conversation with Eddie, he can’t wait to see her reactions as he tells her the entire story.
✭
Ravi feels giddy and nervous, like he’s a teenager with a crush. It’s ridiculous. He and Christina haven’t even been able to hang out much because they both work insane schedules. Christina is on a 12-hour shift schedule, and Ravi is on weirdly timed 24-hour shifts. So, they text all the time. Ravi is basically glued to his phone now, so he’s been trying to subtly text her, hoping that the rest of the team won’t tease him so much for staring at his phone, waiting for texts.
It’s early, just after 9 pm, and a lot of people have moved to the bunk rooms or are working on things downstairs. Ravi can see the glow through the frosted windows of the captain’s office, where Chimney is certainly doing a ridiculous amount of paperwork after today. They spent most of the afternoon and evening at a six-car pileup, so people are trying to get some sleep before all of the weird calls that come in at 3 am have them running through the city.
Ravi’s alone in the loft, tucked up on the couch with his phone and portable charger. It’s a peaceful break from what the shift’s been like so far.
Christina finished her shift at 8, so she’s winding down in bed, watching Community as they text. Ravi gets distracted with some clip about trucks getting stuck in the snow in the mountains somewhere–Sweden, he thinks, based on the names–and he’s so fucking thankful that that’s not what they have to deal with in LA.
He looks down at his phone at the commercial break, only to see that Christina has texted a few times. More than a few times, actually, and Ravi smiles down at his phone, all dopey since no one is around to see it.
ok now i have time to tell you this beautiful story
get ready
so i was with the vet for a consult right
and the owner asked what their options were for breeding their dog
we checked the chart
the dog is eight years old
and also neutered
WHAT.
also
sorry
i wish i could say i was saving a life or something
i got distracted by that ice trucker rescue show
naturally
hey!! that’s what happened!!
but that’s not important
coz like
what the fuck ???
what does she mean OPTIONS
how the hell did you even respond to that
man i have no idea how dr. markey and i didn’t laugh
markey was like. ma’am. your dog is neutered
and she was like
yeah. can you reverse it?
REVERSE
omg
PUT IT IN REVERSE TERRY
wait. like reversing a vasectomy?
is that what she thought she was asking
NO but if she was?
honestly i could forgive that confusion
but she said well why can’t you reattach his balls
SO SHE KNEW DAMN WELL WHAT NEUTERING WAS
NOOO
WHAT
REATTACH
you wanna know the best/worst part of the story?
oh god now i’m scared
you should be
she pulled something out of her bag.
it was a jar
NO
inside the jar was a cloudy zip lock bag
NO
she then said
don’t worry
i kept them on ice
they’re still frozen
NO
YES
“What’s so funny?”
Ravi’s entire body jolts, launching his phone three feet into the air as he falls off the couch.
Buck, looking worn out with bags under his eyes and frizzy hair, is leaning on the back of the couch, judging Ravi.
“You–” Ravi gasps. “You fucking scared the shit outta me, man.”
Buck doesn’t look guilty at all. “How did you not hear me? I ran into a chair like ten seconds ago.”
Growing up as an only child, Ravi always wanted to have siblings. Now that he works at the 118, he’s starting to know what it feels like to be really close friends with someone, but also, occasionally, want to throttle them. Out of love. Mostly.
He and Buck have gotten so much tighter over the last year-ish, and with the intensity of the job and how much time they’ve spent together, Ravi thinks that Buck is the closest thing he’s had to a brother.
“Fuck,” Ravi mutters to himself as he rearranges his limbs back onto the couch, dragging his body off the ground in a fit of pure laziness. There’s no way it looked graceful. “Why are you awake?”
Buck scowls for a moment. “Remember when we went to the bar and then you ran into Tommy and brought him back to the table?”
Ravi winces and nods.
“Yeah, well, I slept with him that night.”
Ravi winces even more. He knows something happened that night, but Buck has stayed tight-lipped about it up until now.
“That’s not the point, though,” Buck sighs. “The next morning, he implied that Eddie was his competition. For like, my attention or whatever.”
“Your attention,” Ravi echoes dumbly.
“I know,” Buck says, rolling his eyes. He walks around the couch and plops down in the corner, throwing his feet onto the coffee table like a heathen. “And it was–I talked to Maddie about it, and it’s fine, Tommy’s not in my life anymore so who cares what opinions he has on my friendships? But I was hanging out with Eddie and Chris, and Pepa swung by to say hi, right? And then she started talking about how a lady in her gardening group has a daughter who would just be absolutely perfect for Eddie.”
“You literally wingmanned for him last week,” Ravi points out instead of saying Eddie doesn’t even want to date her, man, just talk to him.
“I know,” Buck repeats petulantly and throws his head against the back of the couch. “But I was listening to Pepa talk about this woman, and I realized that I don’t want him to date other people.”
You just realized that NOW? Ravi bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything.
“Uh, more like, I can’t see him date other people,” Buck clarifies. “It’s–looking back, I’ve never really wanted him to date other people, I think. I’ve always wanted him to be happy obviously, but now, I think I’d go crazy if I have to watch him date someone.”
“Mhm,” Ravi nods.
“You’re not surprised,” Buck says, looking over at Ravi and what is surely an unimpressed look on his face.
“No. Not really.”
Buck makes a sound like he’s been punched in the gut. “Does–does everyone know?”
Fuck. “No! I’m just–fuck, that was mean. Sorry. I think I’m not shocked because I’ve seen a lot of it from the outside?”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Buck says, eyes wide.
“I worked with you guys sometimes, right? Did some of my probie year here, whatever,” Ravi babbles. “But I started working full-time and actually getting to know everyone after Eddie left. I don’t think everyone knows, that’s not what I’m saying. Just, uh, with the way you talked about Eddie sometimes, I thought maybe. But no one ever said anything. Not even you! I think it was normalized here, so, it wasn’t a, uh, thing. But I can’t say that it caught me completely off-guard.”
Buck is staring at Ravi with his jaw dropped. Ravi really needs to start thinking before speaking, holy hell.
“Plus, neither of you are really normal about the other one dating, so…” Ravi says, shrugging.
Buck snaps out of the fog he was caught in. “What does that mean?”
“Uh,” holy fucking shit I’m a goddamn idiot, “you guys have always been your own unit, you know?”
“Because everyone else has always been paired up,” Buck argues without any fight in his voice, like he’s reciting the information.
“You and I aren’t like that,” Ravi says, gesturing between them. “You and I weren’t like that while Eddie was gone, either.”
“That’s because…” Buck trails off, furrowing his eyebrows while his eyes lose focus.
“You guys are like that even when you’re dating other people,” Ravi continues, thinking back to Eddie saying I couldn’t picture fully adding someone into the mix because there wasn’t space for that. “Tommy noticed, clearly.”
Buck’s face contorts in disgust at Tommy’s name. “No–” he cuts himself off with a breath. “I mean, maybe.”
“So, what are you gonna do?” Ravi asks when the silence has stretched on too long.
“Nothing!” Buck says immediately. “I can’t do anything about it. He’s…my best friend. And also very much not into men.”
Buck needs to have The Thought, Ravi thinks to himself. He blinks a few times, trying to figure out how to balance not outing Eddie but not crushing Buck’s dreams.
“Why not test it out?” Ravi says. “If you guys are both weird about dating, test your theory out.”
Buck grimaces. “How? I already know I hate the idea of Eddie going out on a date.”
“Okay,” Ravi says magnanimously, priding himself on not facepalming. Buck’s processing, he reminds himself. “I meant see if Eddie hates the idea you going on a date as much as you hate the idea of him going on a date.”
Buck scoffs.
“What?” Ravi rolls his head towards Buck. “Worst case scenario, you tell him you’re going on a date and he does nothing about it.”
“That is not the worst case scenario,” Buck says, dropping back against the couch like his bones have turned to jello.
“Fine. What’s the worst case scenario?”
“I try to tell him I’m going on a date and then accidentally blurt out that I’m in love with him and he’s so disgusted that he moves to Florida and we never speak to each other again,” Buck says, all in one breath.
There’s so much to address there, but Ravi’s really caught on one thing: “Florida?”
Buck nods, glum. “Yeah. It’s further than Texas.”
Ravi would laugh if Buck didn’t look so dejected, so small on the couch, dwarfed by his oversized LAFD long sleeve. A pang of sadness sweeps through Ravi at the sight of him. Buck’s one of his closest friends and he wish he could take this weight off his shoulders, but all he can do is meddle as much as ethically possible.
“Is there really anything Eddie could do to make you hate him? Anything you could do to make Eddie genuinely hate you?” Ravi asks, keeping his voice soft. “I can’t imagine any situation where Eddie ends up in Florida, but mostly, I can’t imagine a situation where after everything you guys have been through–both together and apart–you guys can’t come back from it.”
Buck sniffs and presses his palms against his eyes. “No,” he says, muffled into his hands.
Ravi waits until Buck looks over at him. “It’s okay.”
“Yeah,” Buck replies, and his voice doesn’t sound shaky, just tired.
Ravi hates it. He doesn’t know how else to reassure Buck, so he decides they need a distraction.
“Wanna watch Ice Road Truckers?”
✭
“Buck’s going on a date.”
Ravi blinks down at his phone, sitting on the counter in front of him with Eddie on speakerphone.
“What happened to hello Ravi, how are you?” Ravi replies.
“Ravi, this is an emergency,” Eddie says. “I can’t waste my time with pleasantries.”
Which, yeah, same.
Ravi doesn’t have time for this, he’s busy trying to cook chicken piccata perfectly because Christina is coming over in half an hour for dinner.
But, he sighs and acquiesces. It’s Buck and Eddie. And Ravi also maybe played a teeny, tiny part in engineering this whole situation, if the conversation with Buck the other day sunk in at all.
“Crash his date,” Ravi says, deadpan.
“What?” Eddie squawks. “I can’t…”
“Eddie, the only way he’s not going on that date is if something happens,” Ravi says, even though he’s sure that there probably isn’t an actual date. “You could call him and tell him not to go on that date and he’d listen to you.”
“But then he would ask why,” Eddie whispers.
“Yeah,” Ravi says slowly, trying to figure out how much spaghetti he should make. It’s mysterious the same way folding a fitted sheet is mysterious, and he’s pretty sure knowing both of those things is a marker of adulthood, or some shit.
“But then I would have to tell him why,” Eddie says.
“I know. That would be the whole point of telling him not to go on the date,” Ravi replies gently, even though he wants to scream at both Eddie and Buck. They’re so close to talking it out. “He could really hit it off with this person.”
“Fuck,” Eddie curses softly. “You’re right.”
“If you’re so bothered about the idea of him going on a date,” Ravi says, feeling the deja vu of the situation hit him, “choose him. Show him that you’re choosing him.”
Eddie’s gone completely quiet and Ravi hesitates. Did he say too much? Is he being too pushy? How can he not push a bit about this?
“Eddie?”
Eddie hums. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“I, uh,” Eddie says, sounding slightly winded, “I’ll think about it. Thanks.”
Eddie hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. Ravi jumps slightly when the music that had been playing before the phone call starts blasting again. He looks over his kitchen, which looks like a small tornado ripped through it, and sighs.
T-27 minutes until Christina gets here, and he doesn’t know if he’s more excited or nervous.
✭
Ravi sighs when he hears the phone ringing, Eddie’s face staring back at him on his phone screen.
“Hi, Eddie.” Ravi couldn’t not pick up. There’s a mix of curiosity and genuinely wanting this to work out for them. It’s insane; it’s kind of like an interactive romcom, but better because he actually cares about them.
Besides, he left his phone out here and the fact that Eddie’s calling as he’s walking by his phone must mean that the universe wanted them to talk, or whatever Buck says in these situations.
“Hi,” Eddie says back, sounding a little far away but ridiculously happy.
“So…” Ravi trails off, trying to fight a smile from spreading on his face.
“Hi, Ravi,” Buck says, sounding just as happy as Eddie.
“Hi, Buck,” Ravi grins.
“Apparently, I have you to thank for my date being interrupted,” Buck says.
Ravi laughs and puts the phone on speaker. “Oh, yeah, your big date, huh?”
“So you knew the date was fake and you let me panic about it anyway?” Eddie scoffs through a laugh as Buck giggles in the background.
“I had an inkling,” Ravi smiles as he grabs some glasses. “Not like I could give anything away. I think I did a pretty good job, though. You guys should compare notes.”
“Oh, we have,” Eddie replies. “We thought we’d call you with an update together so that you don’t have to have this conversation twice.”
Ravi laughs, pulling his water jug out of his fridge. Thank you, Past Ravi, for refilling this.
“Let me set the scene for you,” Buck starts, but Eddie interrupts with “Oh, I know you’re about to say some bullshit.”
“Let me set the scene for you,” Buck repeats through his laughter, talking over Eddie. “I texted Eddie a picture of an outfit, asking if it was okay for a date.”
“But of course, there was no date,” Buck continues, and Ravi can practically picture the hand gestures in his mind. “The outfit was definitely on the sluttier side–” “–you think? Your arms were tearing the stitches of the sleeves!” “–which was a deliberate choice.”
Eddie grumbles something, but Ravi can’t hear him through Buck’s giggles.
“Eddie left me on read, and I had convinced myself that he didn’t really care that much,” Buck continues. “But next thing I know, he’s breaking down the door of my house.”
“I knocked, like, three times.”
“With a battering ram?”
Ravi hears Buck squawk like Eddie’s poked him in the ribs or something and he breaks off into more giggles.
“I calmly knocked on his door,” Eddie says. “And then I told him that he shouldn’t go on his date.”
“Actua–” Buck cuts himself off with a huff. “Eddie, he needs to know what happened. What actually happened was I opened the door and I was too shocked to see him to speak. Then he said holy fuck your arms are huge.”
“I did not!” Eddie objects. “Don’t listen to him, Ravi.”
Ravi laughs. It’s equally possible that Eddie lost all semblance of game or that Buck is exaggerating. Or both.
“He told me not to go on this date, so I told him that I didn’t actually have a date to go on,” Buck continues as if Eddie didn’t speak. “And then I told him why I lied about it.”
“That is when we realized that we had both been talking to you about everything,” Eddie jumps in. “And we talked about why we had been talking to you.”
“God,” Ravi laughs. “That was a lot of information to keep to myself.”
“You were totally right about Eddie being weird about me dating,” Buck says.
“You dated the wrong people,” Eddie says, and it sounds like he’s rolling his eyes.
“Until now,” Buck mumbles, sounding lovesick.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, and he sounds equally lovesick, “until now.”
“Gross, guys,” Ravi groans. “I wouldn’t have done all this if I knew you were gonna be all sappy and shit in front of me.”
That’s a lie. But Ravi needs to nip this in the bud now or he will be subject to way too much lovey dovey shit all the time. He’s getting the sense that they’re not going to be very chill about their honeymoon phase.
“Wrong,” Eddie fires back. “You care about us.”
“So much,” Buck emphasizes. “Look at you, getting involved in our personal business. That means that you’re officially part of the 118 family now. Can’t deny it anymore.”
Ravi tries to tamp down the wave of fondness that rolls over him. It’s not that they were ever not welcoming, but he still feels like he’s looking from the outside occasionally, even after nearly a year of working full time with them. Ravi was fine with that. Honestly, he fought it, for a while, not wanting to get all mixed in with his coworkers’ extremely entangled lives.
“Oh no,” Ravi says. He’s sure they can hear the smile in his voice, but he can’t help it. He feels settled. “Does this mean you guys are going to meddle in my personal life, too?”
“I forgot to tell you!” Eddie suddenly says, and Ravi isn’t sure if it’s directed at him or Buck. “But Ravi here went on a date last week, and he’s been pretty glued to his phone lately…”
Buck ooohs at that.
“No–” Ravi groans. “That wasn’t an invitation.”
Eddie laughs and Buck says, “We’re expecting details on Tuesday’s shift.”
“No,” Ravi huffs.
“Yes,” Buck and Eddie say at the same time.
“Fine,” Ravi relents, knowing he’s not going to win this one. It might be kinda nice to gush about Christina, though.
Oh, fuck. Christina.
“...you guys know I’m really happy for you, right?” Ravi asks, sobering slightly.
“Yeah, man,” Eddie says, his voice just as soft as Ravi’s, and Buck speaks at the same time: “Of course.”
“Good,” Ravi says. “‘Cause I gotta go.”
There’s overlapping thank yous so he says his goodbyes and ends the phone call. Footsteps echo behind him as his phone beeps.
“Thought you were coming right back with water,” Christina says, her voice soft and sated.
“I was,” Ravi says, blushing and filling up the second glass of water.
“Oh, yeah?” Christina says, coming up behind him and leaning against his back.
“Got distracted by a phone call from Buck and Eddie,” Ravi mutters as thoughts of that whole saga slowly disappear from his mind as Christina’s hands run along his sides. He looks down and her arms are covered by the very familiar navy of his LAFD hoodie, big enough that it’s covering most of her hands, too.
“Bed got cold,” Christina retorts and he shivers from her breath hitting his bare shoulder blade.
Ravi hums and pulls her hands towards his mouth, softly kissing her knuckles one by one. “Sorry.”
She giggles and Ravi turns around while staying all tangled up with her.
“I’ll forgive you,” Christina smirks, looking up at him, “on one condition.”
“Yeah?” Ravi says, grinning and tucking some hair behind her ear as he sneaks his other hand underneath the hoodie. He’s sure she heard part of the phone call. She’s a gossip in the best way, and there’s no one else he’d rather talk to for hours.
“Tell me everything.”