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Stage one: Denial.
"Nope. No, no way." Enjolras laughed, which sounded more wry and strangled than he intended. Combeferre shrugged, unperturbed by Enjolras' response.
"You did asked for what I think."
"But I'm not in love with Grantaire." Enjolras yelped, looking like a flustered kitten. He then turned to Courfeyrac for help, which only proved how desperate he was.
"You really are-" Courfeyrac started, a insinuating grin placed on his face, only to be cut off by Combeferre elbowing him with more force then necessary. Courfeyrac rubbed his ribs gingerly, a slight pout already forming.
"No. I'm not in love." Enjolras repeated heatedly, then stormed off to his room, to definitely not-sulk whilst not-watching a Disney movie, which was probably not The Lion King.
"This is going to take a while." Combeferre confessed to Courfeyrac, who was looking rather bemused.
Stage two: Anger
Enjolras stormed around the apartment, scowl set on face, frown warding off all attempts Courfeyrac gave at being social.
"I'm not in love." Enjolras scowled, more to himself then anyone else. Nobody had brought up the fact that he really, really was in love.
"Okay." Courfeyrac sighed, wishing he would just shut up.
"I'm not though."
"Good for you."
"Good for me." Enjolras agreed, his frown softening a little, then hardening as he sulked off to his room, slamming the door behind him.
"Wait, what?" Jehan asked. Courfeyrac didn't realize that he was still there, and most definitely did not shriek and jump a mile, heart thumping.
"Enjolras is angry." Combeferre reported, and Jehan shrugged, not looking surprised.
"About being in love with Grantaire, right?"
"Yeah." Courfeyrac agreed, then settled into watching the movie Courfeyrac forgot about when Enjolras brought in his wrath. Courfeyrac snuggled into Combeferre, and his heartbeat was now quickening for a completely different reason.
Stage three: Bargaining
"Do you think..." Enjolras began slowly, and Combeferre sighed. Enjolras frowed, because that was extremely rude of him, which was unusual, because Combeferre is a polite person.
"That if I ignore him..." Enjolras continued, pointedly not looking at Courfeyrac's bemused smile.
"You'll stop saying that I love him because I really don't?" Enjolras asked, and Combeferre sighed again, this time softer. Enjolras frowned. Courfeyrac's grin was enough for Enjolras to want to throttle him.
"Sweetie, stop denying that you love him, it's okay to love someone." Jehan soothed, and the three didn't notice him walk besides them. Courfeyrac shrieked in shock, jumping behind Combeferre, who made a small, startled noise of surprise.
"Jesus Jehan, stop sneaking up on us! We need to get you a bell. And no, Enjolras. For the eighteenth time, avoiding him will prove our point."
"Prove what 'point'? There is no 'point', because I do not love Grantaire." Enjolras protested, "I even made a list of why we aren't compatible in the slightest!"
"Oh my God, 'Ferre. There's a list. Of course there's a list." Courfeyrac laughed, grinning broadly at Enjolras. Enjolras scowled and hurried away.
"I'll get him." Combeferre declared, magnanimous, and hurried off to find the sulking blond, who would probably make more deals with himself.
"Maybe you should be making a list of your own, Fey." Jehan informed wisely, then skipped off to Montparnasse, ignoring Courfeyrac's shouts of 'a list of what? Jehan?'
Stage four: Depression
"What's wrong with Apollo?" Grantaire asked cautiously, his teal eyes flicking across Enjolras' slumped figure.
"Don't worry, sweetie. He'll get over it eventually." Jehan smiled, idly braiding his hair. Grantaire huffed a laugh, then turned to question Jehan more.
"Why's he been acting differently?"
"Maybe you should ask him." Jehan offered, and Grantaire nodded in agreement, then vigorously shook his head 'no'.
"Can you ask him? I don't think our golden God appreciates the strange antics of Dionysus."
"Fine. But you have to watch My Girl with me, okay?" Jehan told him, only half sounding like a threat, then walked behind Enjolras, who was ignoring Courfeyrac's babbling.
"Sweetie, you okay?" Jehan asked, the timbre of his voice soft.
"Jesus!" Courfeyrac yelped, jumping slightly, a muffled but suspicious jingle sounding from Courfeyrac's pocket.
"I'm not sulking. Or sad. Or in love with Grantaire."
"Okay, honey." Jehan smiled at him, and Enjolras looked up, then managed a small smile. To Jehan, that seemed like enough progress.
"That's it. Jehan, you're wearing the bell." Courfeyrac declared, and Jehan raised an eyebrow, then tried to fend of Courfeyrac and his determined giraffe limbs.
"This is ridiculous." Jehan decided happily. Courfeyrac shrugged in agreement, but the bell was slipped over his head nonetheless. Combeferre shot Courfeyrac a fond look of amusement. That, however, was not enough progress. Jehan made a mental note to assist them.
Jehan walked back to Grantaire, who was in a headlock by Éponine, whilst Bahorel and Bossuet cheered them on. Joly was mid-rant about glass and dangers of fighting without something to protect arms and wrists.
"He alright?" Grantaire frowned, then hissed warningly at Éponine, who almost floored him with an impressive jolt of her arms.
"Oh my God, you're such a girl."
"Éponine, we've all already established that yes, Grantaire is such a girl. What hasn't been noticed is that you, too, are a girl. And he's fine, just a bit sad."
"Oka- ah!" Grantaire yelled as he was finally thrown to the ground.
Stage five: Acceptance
"I'm in love with Grantaire!" Enjolras declared, and Courfeyrac sighed dramatically, full of exasperation.
"We know."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"We did!"
"Oh. Well, I'm in love with Grantaire."
With a goofy smile on his face, Enjolras gently closed the door to his room, probably to grin stupidly at the walls. Combeferre smiled broadly at Courfeyrac, which he returned with intrest.
"That was fast."
"I agree, but what's he going to do now? Woo Grantaire?" Courfeyrac asked, and Combeferre snorted.
"Does Grantaire look like a fair maiden to you?"
"Well... um, well..." Courfeyrac began, refusing to say no. Combeferre rolled his eyes, a fond smile playing at his face.
"I think Enjolras will get the 'girl' soon. Excluding the fact that Grantaire was born as, and still is, male."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Well, at least Tom Cruise is still hot." Courfeyrac offered, pointing at the image of Tom Cruise ("Wait, Enjolras, hold up a sec- what do you mean you don't know what he looks like?!")
"He is hot." Combeferre smiled quietly. Courfeyrac didn't notice that instead of looking at the picture of Tom Cruise on his laptop, he was looking at Courfeyrac.
Stage six: Marius Pontmercy
"He's brilliant." Enjolras grinned.
"Who is?" Courfeyrac asked, just to play along.
"Grantaire, of course! Did you know that-"
Courfeyrac zoned out, messaging Combeferre with the occasional noise of agreement, as Enjolras began this particular rant.
Combeferre: Is he ranting again?
Courfeyrac: Yep.
Combeferre: Ouch. Sixth time today. How can you listen to him and not fall asleep?
Courfeyrac: just say yeah, or thats cool sometimes. If you really dont want to listen much, say wait, what, thats AWESOME. works every time
Combeferre: Wasn't that what we all did with Marius when he was talking about Cosette?
Courfeyrac: Yep
Combeferre: Courfeyrac, Enjolras isn't Marius, and Grantaire most definitely is not Cosette.
Courfeyrac: Idk, E is acting a bit like Marius.
Combeferre: I agree. Sorry, I've got to go- Javert is getting suspicious. Want to watch a movie?
Courfeyrac: sure, but no documentaries about moths. E's weird mating ritual is enough for now, nvm a moth mating ritual
Combeferre: Sure. You get to pick. See you later :)
"Why don't you tell him?" Courfeyrac asked, after roughly twenty minutes of zoning in and out of the rant, all whilst grinning like an idiot at his phone.
"He doesn't like me back."
"Are you for real?"
"Yes?"
"Just ask him out!" Courfeyrac exclaimed, after the month's stress of watching Enjolras dance around Grantaire finally became too much.
"But he doesn't-"
"Yes. He. Does. Hell, even Éponine would tell you that he does, and Marius noticed for God's sake- Marius noticed."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Okay. I'll, um, ask him, uh. Here goes nothing." Enjolras grinned nervously and pulled out his phone.
"Oh hell no, you march over to his and Éponine's place right now and tell him, no texts."
"Okay, but-" Enjolras began, in a attempt to stall. Courfeyrac frog marched him to the door.
"I will drag you there. Use protection, but please try and keep it PG rated?"
Enjolras: You were right!!!!!!
Enjolras: I'm DATING. GRANTAIRE!!!
Courfeyrac: go. away. You're interrupting me and ferre.
Enjolras: Interrupting you and Ferre?
Enjolras: Wait, what were you doing?
Enjolras: Courf?
Enjolras: Hello?