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“Good luck, you two,” chirped the otter—Judy had forgotten her name—as she waved from the entryway to the chapel. “I hope your folks get here soon!”
Judy rushed over to give her a friendly squeeze. “They’ll be here soon. What can you do? Mechanical issues on my dad’s old truck. They’ll get here before you know it and we’ll get this show on the road.”
“We’ve waited this long to make things official,” Nick said with a chuckle. “I can stand to wait a little longer before we seal the deal.” He turned and winked at Judy.
We can wait a little longer if it gets us our next career-defining bust.
She cozied up to Nick’s side and nuzzled him. “He might be fine waiting, but this is one bunny who can’t wait for her honeymoon.” The otter tittered, and Nick looked a little embarrassed.
Perfect.
“But I need to wait for my parents,” she said wistfully. “They’d never forgive me if I jumped the gun.”
Music began to waft out of the open chapel doors and the otter squawked, making to run off.
“Don’t forget these,” Nick dashed over to hand the short mustelid her glasses with a grin. “We wouldn’t want you to say ‘I do’ to the wrong mammal.”
The bride-to-be chuckled, stuffed the glasses into a hidden pocket in her dress, and slipped away as the music faded in—too fast at first, then serenely as she calmed down.
Nick pretended to wipe away a tear and smiled down at Judy. “Our little girl… all grown up and about to be hitched.”
She smacked his stomach with the back of her paw and he grunted. She looked back and forth, deciding no one was close enough to hear them.
“Yuck it up, darling,” she hissed, waving a paw down the sleek white dress she was wearing. “I, for one, didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” She tried to glare at him. Let him know she was annoyed.
With him.
The world.
Their target, who still hadn’t shown his face.
Instead, Nick very obviously checked her out and grinned in a very enticing way.
Stupid sexy fox.
It was hard to be as angry with him as he deserved. They were undercover, which meant three things.
One: Nick was wearing a tux that fit illegally well for someone who claimed weddings were a scam. It had devolved into a twenty-minute rant about how greeting card companies had invented birthdays to sell cards.
Stupid, paranoid fox.
Two: The white dress the ZPD had procured for her might as well have been plucked from her dreams by her personal fairy god-mammal. When she’d first seen it, she’d gasped. When Nick had first seen her in it, he’d dropped his phone.
She’d literally had to snap her fingers in front of his face to bring him back to reality.
Except for the compact tranq pistol buried in her tasteful, seasonal bouquet, the whole scene was just how she’d imagined a wedding between her and Nick. A fantasy that had been intruding on her more and more of late.
If she was completely honest, she’d been dreaming about this almost non-stop once they’d officially become a couple.
If she was extra honest, she’d also have to admit that she didn’t completely mind the weight of the pistol either.
Three: Since they were standing in the “on-deck” circle of the Lucky in Love Chapel—the holding pen for the next ceremony—and the casino floor outside was packed with drunk tourists and exhausted staff, she couldn’t just strangle him.
“Don’t look so glum, Carrots,” he teased. “I’m sure The Ring Bearer will show up—by the way, as underworld nicknames go—it’s a little…”
“Lame.”
“Definitely,” he spread his paws. “I mean, all the wedding jobs and it feels like he got the last pick. I feel like even The Usher would be scarier.”
She snorted and shook her head. “If we’re going for pure evil vibes, I think ‘Bridesmaid That Looks Better Than the Bride’ wins.”
Nick shuddered dramatically. “Not bad. What about ‘Someone’s Plus One That You Hooked Up with Once’? That would put fear into the heart of a lot of mammals.”
“Not bad, Slick,” she grinned. “My personal wedding fear is Uncle Terry drunk dancing and sharing his opinion on current events. Might be a little long for a nickname.” She shivered involuntarily and gave Nick a little hip bump. “Got a personal wedding phobia I should know about… for reasons?”
Nick’s face fell, horrified. His arm rose robotically, one claw extended, trembling.
“Your parents.”
She smacked him again.
“Rude! My parents are lovely,” she countered. “They’re eager to get to know you better, by the way. They’ve really come around on predators in general and foxes in particular and—”
“They’re here.”
“No, that’s just the cover story we’re using to kill time until we spot The Ring Bearer and—”
Nick’s paws landed on her shoulders and he spun her around to face the casino.
She spotted her parents immediately.
Her arm rose robotically, one blunt claw extended, trembling. “My parents.”
Worse, they spotted her.
And waved.
“Please tell me I’m hallucinating,” she whispered to Nick, returning the wave awkwardly.
Nick closed his eyes and whispered, “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.”
“WHEW!” Stu said in a rush, squeezing Judy in a hug. Bonnie was a beat behind him. “Can’t believe we made it in time.”
“You’ve got lots of explaining to do, Judith Laverne Hopps,” her mother said, shaking a paw at her.
Then they turned toward Nick.
And stared.
Nick’s eyes darted around the tiny, aggressively cheerful room. Fake marble. Gilt fixtures. No exits. He licked his muzzle once and tensed.
He was about to run for it—and leave her here by herself.
She casually pressed her bouquet against his side, hard enough that he could feel the stubby barrel in his ribs. He looked down at her, eyes wide.
“If you try to ditch me, buster,” she whispered, “I’ll drop you before you make it to the door.” She beamed and jerked her head toward her parents. “Now say ‘hi’ to the nice bunnies.”
“Aw, look at these lovebirds,” Stu said, wrapping an arm around his wife.
“They look just like a magazine cover,” Bonnie gushed. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”
Judy gave Nick another poke with her tranq and he rebooted, sticking out a paw and plastering on a warm smile. “Thanks—and Judy cleans up pretty nicely too.” He winked. “You two must be Stuart and Bonnebell… or should I call you Mister and Missus Hopps?”
“No need to be so formal, Nick,” Stu said, pumping Nick’s oversized paw. “You can call me Stu. Or ‘Dad.’ No pressure. Our Jude’s been telling us all about foxes.”
“Just Bonnie, please, but he's right,” Bonnie said, claiming Nick’s paw. “She’s been all foxes, all the time for months. We know you’re more… solitary, so take your time getting comfortable with everything that comes from being part of a fluffle.”
Nick started to grin at the all foxes, all the time bit—then his expression twisted slightly at fluffle.
Her parents didn’t notice. They just chattered on.
“Can’t believe we made it—”
“Your sisters are distraught—”
“We’ll need something in Bunnyburrow—”
“What lovely flowers—”
“We’re mad, but happy—”
“Still mad though—”
“Where’s the honeymoon—”
“Let’s see the ring—”
Nick used the tidal wave of questions to start slinking toward the exit when the door flew open.
The wedding planner—a chipper skunk with a clipboard and a plastic smile—burst in. Her grin turned genuine and relieved.
“Yes! I was so worried they might miss it. Now we can get started and get everything back on schedule.”
“Started?” Nick croaked.
“That’s right,” said the skunk—Rikki, if her name badge was to be believed. “You’re next!”
“Time out,” Judy said, hands up. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Uh, we’re going to your wedding, Jude,” Stu said, brushing his fur in the reflection of a champagne bottle.
Bonnie tossed a tie at Nick and began primping. “Can you tie that for Stu, dear? He’s all thumbs, and Judy says you wear them all the time.”
“That’s koalas you’re thinking of,” Stu said cheerfully. “Just got the two!”
Nick went into shock, tying Stu’s tie—the only one she’d ever seen him own—with practiced motions.
“How—” Judy mumbled.
“Someone posted a picture of you two on FlikFlok,” Bonnie said. “And Furbook. Pawpawrazzi. OX.”
“Basically the entire internet,” Stu added.
“And your sister, Verity, has alerts set up,” Bonnie continued.
“Technically for Nick,” Stu said. “But close enough.”
Music started.
They started.
The officiant cleared his throat.
A gentle sound. Polite. Almost apologetic.
“Dearly beloved,” he began, voice warm and practiced, “we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of—”
Judy’s ears flicked.
She caught movement in the pews.
A cocktail waitress drifted inside the chapel, tray balanced expertly on one paw. Her smile was professional, her tail relaxed—but her eyes flicked to Judy, then Nick, then down.
Fangmeyer.
A moment later, across the chapel, a wolf lounged against a column in designer jeans, a loud shirt, and a puka shell necklace that screamed this was a mammal who absolutely sucked. He lifted his champagne flute in a lazy salute and tugged his expensive glasses down with a claw.
Wolford.
Judy exhaled slowly through her nose.
Okay. Backup’s in place, but they’re not supposed to do that until—
Right on cue, the doors at the back of the chapel opened again.
A lemur stepped in first—tall, slender, impeccably dressed. His suit shimmered faintly, threads catching the light like cut glass. His tail swayed behind him, ringed and expressive. Two more lemurs flanked him, bulkier, quieter, eyes scanning exits.
The officiant droned on.
Clutched reverently to his chest was a black velvet bag that definitely wasn’t holding a new coffee maker for the bride and groom.
The Ring Bearer.
He smiled when he saw Judy.
It didn’t touch his eyes.
He slid into a seat, and a moment later a pig slipped in next to him, placing a suitcase right in front of the lemur.
The officiant continued, oblivious. “If anyone here has reason to object to this union—”
Judy felt Nick’s paw tighten around hers.
She leaned toward him, whispering furiously. “That’s him.”
“I know,” Nick murmured back. “But we’re a little busy.” He jerked his head toward the officiant—a white-furred rabbit.
The rabbit looked… annoyed.
“We do it now,” she hissed.
“Mid-ceremony?”
The Ring Bearer handed the velvet bag to the pig. The pig tugged it open and nodded.
That was it. Deal made. A bag full of conflict diamonds for a suitcase stuffed with cash.
The officiant cleared his throat noisily and glared at them.
They both clamped their mouths shut.
He inhaled. “—at this time—”
Nick squinted at the lemur. “I know it’s his whole thing, but does he have to be this literal. It's pretentious.”
"Let's go tell him that," she said with a wink. He grinned.
"Love you, partner."
"Right back at you."
"Do you mind?" the officiant said.
“Put a pin in it,” Judy and Nick said together as they spun, badges flashing.
The rabbit blinked.
“Pardon?”
“ZPD! Ring Bearer, you’re under arrest for diamond smuggling, conspiracy, and ruining approximately twelve weddings,” Judy shouted as the crowd froze.
Her parents looked confused—then started to clap.
The lemur’s smile didn’t falter.
The pig panicked.
He stumbled to his feet and tried to run for the door—straight into a cluster of mammals pouring into the chapel.
More lemurs. Raccoons. Even a tanuki.
All known associates of the Ring Bearer.
All brandishing ugly black tranq guns.
Chaos exploded.
“DOWN!” Nick shouted as he hoisted Judy, bouquet raised, carrying her over his shoulder as he leapt behind a sturdy-looking statue.
“HEY!” she yelped, already firing over his shoulder, the bouquet splitting as her tranq pistol barked.
“Sorry!” Nick panted. “Not sure you noticed, but they’re armed!”
A hail of darts bounced off the statue and Nick kept running.
“TO THE LEFT!”
“I SEE THEM!”
They skidded behind a pew as Fangmeyer dumped her drinks, then smacked her tray across a lemur’s face, knocking him cold. She smoothly yanked up her skirt, exposing a garter belt on a muscled thigh and the tranq holstered there. She drew and fired with practiced calm.
Clawhauser—still in his photographer’s vest—lunged from behind the camera, tackling a goon with a surprised oof.
Wolford vaulted a chair. “ZPD! DROP IT, YOU RING-OBSESSED FREAKS!”
He fired mid-leap, taking another goon in the chest.
The Ring Bearer scooped up the suitcase and the velvet bag, hissing as he danced between the pews, mumbling something about his precious… money.
Judy popped up, firing again from the bouquet.
A lemur went down in a heap of tailored misery.
Nick vaulted, dragged her with him, and dove behind the altar as the officiant shrieked and ducked.
“YOU’RE RUINING THINGS!” Rikki yelled. “AND YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE THE NEXT WEDDING LATE!”
The Ring Bearer bolted for the aisle.
Judy twisted, sighted—
—and Nick threw her.
She landed, rolled, came up firing.
And missed.
The Ring Bearer laughed as he raced toward the door—
—right as Rikki stepped up and smashed her clipboard across his face.
The lemur crumpled to the floor as pages of the wedding schedule fluttered down like confetti.
Wolford appeared.
Cuffs snapped shut.
Silence.
Breathing.
Then—
Bonnie cheered.
“THAT’S MY GIRL!”
Judy blinked.
The officiant straightened his robe, adjusted his glasses, and cleared his throat again.
“Well,” he said, pointedly calm, “as I was saying—”
Nick and Judy looked at each other.
At the altar.
At her parents.
They both dashed forward.
Nick made a starting motion with his paw. “Let’s get this show on the road, padre.”
“Uh,” the officiant began, “dearly beloved, we are—”
“Skip it,” Judy said.
“Yes,” Nick added. “Like… really far ahead.”
Judy held up a paw. “Just the questions. That’s all we need.”
The officiant opened his mouth.
“Do—”
“I do,” Nick said.
“I do too,” Judy said.
“I guess I now pronounce—”
That was enough.
Judy leapt at Nick, grabbing his lapels and kissing him with everything she had.
Bonnie sobbed.
Stu sobbed harder.
Someone clapped. Cheers.
They turned.
Clawhauser was wiping his eyes as more backup poured in, cheering. Bogo had the Ring Bearer tucked under one massive arm and was clapping enthusiastically.
One of the goons—still conscious—joined in.
“You kids throw one heck of a wedding,” Stu called, poking his head over a pew.
“A little unconventional,” Bonnie said primly, brushing dust from Stu’s jacket.
Someone cleared her throat loudly.
Fangmeyer.
“So,” she said, dragging Wolford by the tail toward the altar, “you wanna throw the flowers, or…?”
Wolford briefly grabbed a pew before Fangmeyer’s muscles flexed and he was hauled forward again.
Judy laughed, breathless, and handed over the bouquet. She winked as Fangmeyer sauntered past.
“Careful,” Judy said. “Those are loaded.”