Chapter Text
Rose Landry really has dated an absurd amount of gay guys in her life. More than she thinks is probably usual, even for theatre school.
The first time had been in high school, they’d dated for a few days, kissed, and promptly decided neither of them had enjoyed it very much. A few weeks later, she’d walked into the drama room to find him making out with one of the guys designing their sets. He’d been mortified, but she’d mostly just been relieved to understand why the kiss had been so bad.
The second guy had thankfully been at least a better kisser, and they’d stayed together through a solid chunk of her first year of college. But ultimately, she had eyes, and the way he was looking at guys had just gotten too hard to ignore. She’d sat him down on her dorm room bed and asked him about it gently. He’d denied it and stormed out of her room, but had come back two weeks later with a massive bouquet of flowers and an apology for how he’d reacted—and a thank you for helping him realize some key facts about himself.
By the time she met Shane, she’d gotten pretty used to the routine. Find a guy she likes, date for a few weeks or months, start to notice some pretty glaring signs, and either try to delicately bring it up or else get awkwardly come out to before she beats them to it, rinse, repeat. Not every guy she’s dated has been gay—there have been a few exceptions, guys who didn’t work out because of her schedule or their egos not being able to handle how successful she was rather than because they didn’t find her attractive—but there have been a good seven or eight, which really, she thinks has to be some sort of record.
But Shane is an athlete! He’s not the bro-est of hockey bros—thank god, because she got enough of that from her brothers and their friends—but he’s the best of the best in the league, and surely, she thinks, surely this one must be straight. And it’s going well! He’s sweet, and funny, and he listens to her when she talks, and he’s famous enough to understand the pressures of being in the public eye, but not so famous that it’s gone to his head. She’s not in love with him, but she likes him enough that she thinks she could be.
And then they have sex for the first time.
And, well, it’s bad. Not in the careless, frat-bro way you’d expect from a pro athlete—he’s sweet about it, tries his best to make her feel good—but in a way she’s come to recognize from her absolutely ridiculous dating track record. His heart’s just not in it. It reminds her of that first kiss with her high school boyfriend.
“Let’s, uh, let’s just call it a night,” she finally says. Neither of them has come. She doesn’t think either of them is going to.
“Right,” Shane says. He looks mortified. “Yeah, okay.”
He rolls off of her, and she closes her eyes, scrubbing a hand across her face. “Goodnight, Shane,” she says.
They don’t say another word to each other. Instead, they fall asleep, lying next to each other but not really together in any sense of the word, staring up at the ceiling instead of staring at each other. When they wake up, Rose hurries off to set, even though the shoot doesn’t start until noon. She needs time to think—or at least, space to process the conclusion she has sort of already drawn: Shane is, like the many other guys she’s dated, very, very gay. Shane is, however, also not exactly like the other gay guys she’s dated. She knows it wasn’t easy for any of them—if it had been, they probably would have been dating men instead of dating her—but most of them had been actors, or at least arts students. It was a much more welcoming environment than she suspects a men’s hockey locker room is. She’d been able to be blunt with it, when it had come down to her to bring it up—which it didn’t, always. With Shane, she thinks she might need a little more finesse.
But before she can do that, she has to take a minute for herself, to grieve the relationship. She wants to be there for Shane, she wants to help him through this, because despite it all, she really likes the guy and she wants him to be happy. And she doesn’t think that happiness will come with her, for him. But it sucks, because she really thinks she could have been happy with him. She had thought that maybe Shane would be the one to break her string of relationships that had failed before they ever really got the chance to start. And he’s not, and she’ll deal with that just like she’s dealt with all the rest, but first she needs to go sit in a quiet corner of set and sob before she goes to hair and makeup and lets them erase all traces of her breakdown.
———
She’s collected herself enough to find it a little funny, by the time she meets Shane for dinner. Like, she’s still sort of bummed about it, but also it really is sort of funny how bad her luck is when it comes to finding a straight guy to date. It feels like it really shouldn’t be as hard as it is. And it probably isn’t, fully—she can admit that there are definitely many, many straight guys out there who would love to date her. But, forgive her, she has standards. She’s not going to date just any old guy who throws himself at her feet because she’s pretty and famous. She may have bad luck, but she is not that desperate.
So really, she’s starting to think, maybe the problem is not that gay guys keep wanting to date her, and more that out of the many men who want to date her, she keeps choosing the gay ones. Not on purpose! She would love to date a straight guy! But she just keeps finding herself pulled towards the gay ones by accident instead.
She’s not really sure what that says about her. She’s choosing not to examine it further right now. Her own issues with men aren’t the point of tonight; the point of tonight is Shane’s issues with men.
He smiles at her when he comes in, and they make idle small talk until they order. Then, she tries to gently lead the conversation toward his sexuality. She fumbles through some awkward attempts about Miles and is there anyone openly gay in the NHL—there isn’t, she googled, but it’s a good way in she thinks—and it’s horribly awkward, but he seems to get what she’s trying to ask, eventually. He looks quietly terrified, doesn’t fully confirm it at first, but he doesn’t deny it, either, doesn’t freak out or ask her how dare she accuse him of something like this. She’s not sure if it’s a better reaction than she expected, or if this is exactly how she thought he’d react. It’s quiet, understated, polite—a very Shane reaction.
She asks if he’s been with a man, but she thinks she already knows the answer. The amount of terror that’s on his face just talking about it—like his whole world is about to implode—she can’t imagine he would have been brave enough to actually act on it, and she can’t blame him. Although she’s certain that she’s right about him, she’s not sure if he’s even fully thought about it before this moment.
Except—he’s nodding. Rose tries not to show her surprise, but she thinks her eyes widen a bit. Shane Hollander has been with a man. That changes everything. All of a sudden, this is a very different conversation. She’s not introducing this man to the concept of possibly being into men, but rather coaching him through what seems to be a pre-existing gay crisis. Okay, she can handle this. If anything, this is more in her wheelhouse. She knows this script.
He still manages to surprise her though, when he says a moment later that he prefers being the hole than the peg. She nearly chokes. She fucking loves this man; he’s absolutely insane. They may not be staying together as a couple, but she is definitely keeping him.
———
Back at her hotel a few hours later, Rose settles into her bed and decides to text him. She needs to show she’s serious—he is not getting rid of her. He is officially her favourite gay ex-boyfriend (although not the only one she still talks to) and he’s simply going to have to deal with the fact that he’s her friend now.
Rose: Got home safe!
Rose: Thank you for trusting me with that <3
Rose: When do you fly out for All Stars?
There’s no answer for a while, and she starts to worry that he won’t reply, that maybe she’d freaked him out more than he let on. But just as she’s getting ready to sleep, a text comes through. She smiles as she reads it.
Shane: Thank you for everything, Rose. It’s not how I expected tonight to go, but I’m glad it did. I think I needed someone to tell me it was okay. And I’m sorry, again. I hope you know I would never have started anything with you if I didn’t think I could make myself be into girls. I never meant to lead you on or anything. I really do like you so much. Just not like that, I guess. I’m sorry.
Shane: I fly out for All-Stars next week, but we’re on the road for a few days before that.
Rose: damn, I’ll probably miss you then since filming wraps that weekend
Rose: but you’d better text me if you’re ever going to be in LA! we have to hang out again
Rose: and seriously babe, don’t be sorry!
Rose: you’re now my favorite gay ex-boyfriend
Rose: however. if you want to make it up to me. get me more free tickets to your games please and thank you
Shane: Oh my god haha! I’m honoured to be your favourite gay ex-boyfriend. But yes, I can definitely do that. Any tickets you want, just say the word and they’re yours.
Rose: if you weren’t already my favorite you definitely are now