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Cass never sees Rose these days.
They spend time in the same room, but there's a part of Rose that she never shows anymore. Rose has had walls up for as long as Cass has known her, but those walls have only gotten stronger over the last few years.
It's clear to Cass whenever she looks at her. There's a change in her posture, a change in her expression, a change in the way she carries herself. It's all calculated in a way that no one else seems to see. But Cass can always tell.
Cass stares at Rose now when she thinks no one is looking at her. Even alone, the walls are still up.
They're at Bruce's for another "family dinner." He started hosting these dinners a few years ago, most likely because he was afraid that if he never made an effort, he would never get to know his granddaughter. In fairness, he was probably right. It was a shock to everyone that Jason continued to agree to come.
But he's always there. And he always brings Rose. And, of course, they always bring Mary.
"Mama," Mary whines, running into the room. Cass watches the way Rose's shoulders immediately stiffen at the sound of her voice.
"What's wrong?" Rose asked in an even tone.
"I'm hungry," Mary pouts, tugging on the hem of Rose's shirt.
Rose purses her lips and gently removes Mary's hand from her shirt. "Why don't you go find your Grampa, honey? I'm sure he'll find something for you to eat."
Mary huffs, but scurries off anyway. "Grampa!" she yells as she runs into the other room.
Rose closes her eye for just a moment, takes a deep breath, and opens it. She turns to follow Mary, but freezes when she sees Cass watching her.
They stare at each other in silence for a split second. Then Cass takes a breath, and it's enough to set Rose off.
"Don't fucking start," Rose snarls.
"I didn't say anything."
"You were thinking it."
"I wasn't."
"Yes, you were," she says, folding her arms. "You think it every time I'm here."
"That's funny," Cass says slowly, "Coming from you."
"Oh, fuck you."
"You say that I never understand you—"
"You're always just dying to—"
"And now you think you can read my mind—"
"You're such a—"
"Hey!" Jason interjects as he walks into the room. Cass and Rose both snap their mouths shut. He flicks his gaze between the two of them, then turns to Rose. "Why is it that you two can never be alone in a room together without fighting?"
"She started it," Rose mumbles.
Jason rolls his eyes. "And here I thought we only had one four-year-old in the house."
Cass scoffs quietly. Jason didn't hear, but Rose did. She narrows her eye, but doesn't say anything. She holds her glare toward Cass as Jason talks.
"Speaking of, where did she go?"
"She's looking for Bruce," Rose answers, blinking and looking away from Cass like it never happened. "She was hungry."
Jason snorts. "We should probably find her before he can stuff her with sugar before dinner."
Rose smiles. It's the same expression she always makes; a bright smile that never meets her eyes. He wraps an arm around her waist and kisses her cheek, then pulls her away.
Cass stares at the back of Rose's head as they leave, but Rose doesn't turn around.
When Cass first found out, it had been a long time since she had seen Rose. But that wasn't unusual. She could go for months without seeing her, then spend a week straight with them locked in a bedroom together, and then go right back to not seeing her.
It had been nearly 6 months without Rose when she showed up at Cass's door that night. Rose didn't say a word before she grabbed Cass by the waist and kissed her.
Cass melted into her immediately. She let Rose push her back against the wall and run her hands along her waist and up toward her chest. Cass tilted her head back and let Rose deepen the kiss. Rose complied easily, pressing her hips against Cass's and driving her tongue into her mouth. Cass already felt like she was going to fall over.
There was something different about this. Desperate. Rose was kissing her like it was the only way to stay alive. It was messy and quick; it felt like the world would end if their skin broke apart even for a moment.
Cass cupped Rose's face in her hands, and she felt the tears dripping down her face.
She tried to pull away slowly, but Rose kept leaning in, trying to bring her back every time Cass's lips left hers.
"Rose," Cass said softly, her lips still brushing against Rose's. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Rose whispered back, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her lips into Cass's again. "I just missed you," she spoke against Cass's skin.
It might've been the most loving thing Rose ever said to her. Cass almost let herself believe it.
"No," Cass said, pulling her face away from Rose's again. She finally got a good look at her bloodshot eye and tears dripping down her face. "What happened?"
Rose shook her head and forced a weak smile. "Nothing."
"Rose."
Her face looked a bit different. And she'd had Rose's body pressed against hers enough to know it felt different, too.
Rose bit her lip as Cass examined her, and her eye flooded with tears again. "Cass."
"Oh my god," Cass whispered. "You're pregnant."
Rose shut her eye again and pushed herself away from Cass. Cass felt a shiver run down her body as the cold air hit her skin, and Rose stumbled to the other side of the room. She looked like she was shaking. She practically collapsed down to sit on the floor and leaned her back against the wall. She reached up a hand to wipe away a tear and looked up at Cass.
Cass couldn't hear the thoughts in her own brain. The world was spinning too fast. She felt dizzy. She tried to cling to the wall behind her to stop herself from falling over.
Rose was pregnant. How is that possible? "Is it… mine?"
Rose barked out a surprised laugh that sounded a bit more like a scream. "Do you know how babies are made?"
Right, stupid question. Cass could barely get a hold of her thoughts to figure out what to say. "Who?"
"Does it matter?"
Cass paused. Does it? Probably not. "There's a clinic nearby," Cass said. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears.
Rose let out a quiet sob and shut her eye again. "I can't."
"You… you want to keep it?"
"No," she answered, her voice breaking. "I just don't have a choice."
"The clinic is private, no one has to know."
Rose glared at her. "Your entire family is full of fucking detectives."
"They won't mind."
"Jason will."
"Who cares what Jason thinks?"
"He already knows."
The flurry of thoughts in Cass's mind immediately ground to a halt. The world stopped moving as the silence between them stretched out. There was a tight feeling in her chest that was making it hard to breathe.
Rose looked more dejected the longer Cass went without saying anything, but she couldn't find any words to say. Rose pulled her knees into her chest and buried her head in them.
"You had sex with Jason?" Cass said finally, a little louder than she intended.
Rose didn't respond. Her shoulders started shaking.
Cass was never under the impression that she and Rose were "exclusive." They went months at a time without seeing each other, they weren't exactly in a relationship. But she certainly wasn't under the impression that Rose was sleeping with men.
"Why?" Cass asked.
"I don't know," Rose mumbled. "I just wanted to be normal for once."
Cass's heart sank. "Normal?"
"It doesn't matter," she said tearfully, lifting her head and leaning back against the wall. "Because now he knows, and it's only a matter of time before Slade knows, and it's too late."
Cass ignored the way her own legs shook as she crossed the room and sat down next to Rose. Cass listened to Rose's unsteady breathing and tried to think of something to say, but she couldn't think of anything that would make it better.
Rose looked at Cass for a moment before dropping her head to rest on her shoulder.
"It's not too late," Cass said softly. "You can—"
"I can't, Cassie," Rose sobbed. "I'm going to have a fucking baby."
They fell into silence. Cass reached over and took Rose's hand in hers. Rose squeezed it tighter the instant their fingers linked together.
"What are you and Jason going to do?" Cass asked, fluttering her eyes shut so she didn't have to see Rose's reaction.
Rose was silent for a long time. Cass focused on the feeling of Rose's hand in hers and tried to ignore the way she could feel her body stiffen.
"He asked me to marry him this morning," Rose answered. "And I said yes."
Cass sits next to Dick on the couch in Bruce's living room, and they watch Mary as she runs around, playing tag with Bruce. Bruce is smiling, and Mary is giggling and stomping all over the room as she runs away from him.
Cass didn't want to dislike Mary. For one thing, what kind of monster hates a toddler? It wasn't Mary's fault she was born. And she makes Bruce so happy. Cass never saw Bruce smile as hard as he does when Mary is around. She just wishes it didn't come at the cost of Rose's happiness.
Rose isn't in the room. Cass couldn't help but notice that Rose is rarely in the same room as Mary when someone else is there to watch her.
"Aunt Cass?"
Cass feels her muscles tense. She hadn't even noticed Mary was right in front of her. She hates the way she gets distracted at these family dinners.
"Yes?"
"Will you play tag with us?" Mary asks with a wide smile and big, pleading eyes.
Cass hates playing games with Mary. She feels like she can never slow herself down, and she's terrified that one day she'll shove Mary over during one of her games. She wasn't made to play for fun.
But what kind of monster says no to a toddler?
"Sure," Cass says, standing up from the couch.
Mary brightens up, then slaps her hand on Cass's arm. "Tag!" she shrieks, then she runs away giggling.
Cass turns to Bruce. His face doesn't usually betray his emotions, but something about Mary always brings out the softness in his expressions. He watches Mary with a smile on his face, then turns to Cass. Cass forces a smile back.
She steps toward him and taps his arm. "Tag."
"I think she wanted you to chase her," Bruce says with a slight teasing tone.
"Well," Cass replies. "We don't always get what we want."
Cass was invited to the wedding, along with the rest of the family. It was a small ceremony, thrown together in just a few weeks. Rose was already 4 months pregnant.
Slade hadn't been invited, but he showed up anyway. Cass was sitting in a seat in the back row, and Slade sat down right next to her as the ceremony started.
They sat in terse silence, watching Jason and Rose at the altar. Rose's entire posture looked wrong, like every muscle in her body was tense. And she had a smile plastered on her face, but it didn't meet her eyes. That expression made Cass's stomach twist.
"I never thought she'd do it," Slade muttered to Cass in the middle of the ceremony.
"Don't talk to me," Cass muttered back.
"I mean, she's never been much of the 'love' type," Slade continued, ignoring the way Cass scowled at him. "Honestly, I was starting to think she might be a dyke."
Cass narrowed her eyes.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that," Slade added with a shrug. "I'm just saying."
"You should leave before she sees you," Cass said gruffly. "You shouldn't have even come."
"She knew I would come," he replied. "And she already knows I'm here."
"What makes you so sure?"
"That's my girl," he said proudly. "Nothing gets by her."
Cass looked at Rose. She was standing stiffly, slightly angled toward where Slade was sitting. She didn't look in his direction, but she looked everywhere except toward him. Of course she knew he was there.
The rest of the wedding went by without a problem. Slade didn't interrupt or bring attention to himself. Cass somehow managed to keep herself from punching him in the face.
Slade slipped away right as the ceremony ended. Cass stayed in her seat and watched the way Rose interacted with the others.
Most of the guests were Bats; all of the guests were vigilantes. Some of them (Batman) had worn masks, some didn't. And everyone was coming up to Rose and congratulating her. She looked… happy. Almost. It still didn't look right, but she seemed lighter as everyone who came up to her hugged her, or patted her on the shoulder, or held her hands, or just nodded at her.
But every few moments, she would place her hand over her stomach and deflate, just a bit. No one else noticed. But Cass did.
Once Rose was alone, Cass got up and walked toward her. Rose tilted her head when she saw Cass approach. "Hello," Rose greeted brightly.
"Are you okay?" Cass asked, keeping her voice low enough that no one else would hear.
"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Rose chuckled.
Cass blinked. "Because… you know," she gestured vaguely at the altar.
"Because of my wedding?" Rose asked, then chuckled again. "It's the happiest day of my life."
"Rose—"
"I don't know why you'd think something is wrong."
"No one else is listening," Cass whispered.
"I don't care if anyone hears me," Rose said through gritted teeth and a forced smile. "You're trying to create a problem where there isn't one."
Cass folded her arms. She hated that Rose was acting like Cass wouldn't remember the way she cried in her arms the night of her engagement. But it wasn't worth starting a fight over, not now. "Okay," she relented. "Congratulations."
Rose faltered slightly, but played it off like she was casually leaning back. "Thank you," she said with that same forced smile. "What, uh…" she started to ask, then trailed off and looked at her feet.
"What?"
"What did Slade say to you?" she asked, her eyes still glued to the floor. "I saw you guys talking earlier."
"Nothing much."
"But what did he say?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me."
"Why?"
"I'd like to know what my father said at my fucking wedding, is that so crazy?" Rose snapped, looking back up at her. "God, what the hell do you think you're accomplishing, Cass?"
Cass raised her eyebrows at the sudden shift in tone. Rose shuffled her feet and folded her arms.
"He said he didn't think you'd ever get married," Cass said coldly. "Because he thought you were a dyke."
Rose blinked. "Why the hell would you tell me that?"
"You asked."
"And you couldn't have lied?"
Cass knew it was wrong to say it. Maybe part of her just needed to see how Rose would react. Or maybe she was just tired of the façade Rose was putting up. There was a small part of her that felt vindicated when Rose's eye filled with tears, but that part was outweighed by the guilt of upsetting her and not being able to comfort her.
"I'm sorry," Cass said under her breath.
"Well, it's obviously not true, so it doesn't matter," Rose said quickly, blinking rapidly.
Cass frowned.
"I mean, who cares if he thought that?" Rose continued, her voice higher-pitched than usual. "And he just watched me get married to a man, so he knows it's not true."
"Are you serious?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Rose asked, plastering the smile back on.
Cass stared at her. "Are you messing with me?"
"I don't know what you mean," Rose said, her voice overly sweet like she was challenging Cass to disagree.
Cass scanned Rose's face for a moment. Obviously, Rose knew that Cass knew she was lying. Even if Cass hadn't been with her, she would still be able to read her body language and see that this was all bullshit. But she wasn't going to play whatever game Rose was trying to.
"Fine," Cass said. "Congratulations. I hope you have many years of marriage ahead of you."
Rose curled her lips. "Thank you," she drawled. "You're so kind."
The whole family sits at the table for dinner. Mary is in a seat between Jason and Bruce, and Rose is sitting next to Jason. Cass is on the other side of the table, listening to Tim complain about his classes. She nods along absentmindedly.
Bruce clears his throat.
"I want to say I'm glad you're all here," he says. "It means a lot to me that the whole family continues to come when we do this."
They've been having these family dinners every few months since Mary was born, and Bruce gives some variation of this speech every time.
"I think family is incredibly important," he continues. "I'm so grateful we can all come together like this, that we all stay connected to each other."
Cass glances at Jason in time to watch him roll his eyes. As much as Jason pretends to hate Bruce's ploys to stay in his granddaughter's life, he continues to come for every dinner.
"And family sticks together, no matter what." Bruce rests his hand on Mary's shoulder, and she smiles at him and claps.
"That was beautiful, Bruce," Rose says, leaning back and sipping her wine.
Bruce frowns, not looking directly at her. "Thank you, Rose."
It was no secret that the two of them didn't get along. She used to pick fights with him long before Mary was born, and he would always take the bait. Rose had a way of constantly pissing people off.
But ever since Rose got pregnant, Bruce stopped fighting her. If he pushed her away, he'd be pushing Jason and Mary away too. He knows that, and Rose knows that, and she takes full advantage of that knowledge.
"I mean, really, family is a wonderful thing," Rose says. "You know, you remind me of my own father."
Bruce's face twitches, and Jason rests his hand over his mouth to pretend he isn't laughing. Cass exchanges a knowing look with Tim, and he just shrugs.
Ever since Mary was added to the mix, family gatherings have been relatively peaceful, despite Rose's best efforts.
And, sure enough, Mary is still smiling and kicking her legs, oblivious to the animosity between her parents and grandfather that's simmering under the surface. It must be nice to be a child, protected from the bad parts of life. Cass shoves down a pang of jealousy for the peaceful childhood she didn't have.
Rose glances at Mary, then takes another sip of wine.
The first family dinner was the first time Cass saw Mary. Bruce had organised this dinner, and no one could convince him that there was no chance Jason would come. He remained uncharacteristically optimistic the whole time he waited for Jason to show.
And then, Jason did come. And, even more surprisingly, so did Rose.
Jason walked in first, and Rose trailed behind him, holding the baby in her arms. Cass felt her blood run cold as everyone around her gasped softly at the sight of the bundle of blankets.
Jason grinned, then took her from Rose. "This is Mary," he announced, adjusting the blanket so everyone could see her face. She looked just like Jason, except for the tufts of white hair on her head. "Short for Marigold."
Bruce brightened as he walked toward them. He looked down at the baby, and his eyes immediately softened. "Hello, Mary," he cooed, placing a hand on her head.
"Do you want to hold her?" Jason asked.
Bruce was abnormally emotional as he nodded, reaching over and delicately taking her in his arms. Mary reached up to him, and Bruce's eyes filled with tears. "She's adorable," Bruce said quietly, sticking his finger out to let Mary grab it.
Rose silently sat down on the couch next to Cass. Cass didn't acknowledge her, and Rose didn't either.
The next hour was spent with everyone getting up for a chance to hold the baby, congratulating Jason and Rose, and cooing at Mary. Cass and Rose still didn't talk, but Cass eventually noticed she had unconsciously been leaning into Rose. She didn't bother moving.
"Don't you want to hold her?" Rose asked, finally breaking the silence between them.
Cass shook her head. "I might hurt her."
"Why?"
"I don't know," Cass murmured. "My hands are too rough, sometimes."
Rose grunted quietly, but didn't bother responding. She shifted uncomfortably, then leaned closer to Cass. They fell back into silence.
"I didn't think you'd be here," Cass said.
Rose hummed. "I think it's good for Mary to know her family," she said. "And she's certainly never meeting my side of the family."
"I didn't think you would be here," Cass said again. "I thought Jason would come alone, if he came at all."
"Well," she scoffed. "I guess I'm full of surprises."
"No kidding," Cass mumbled.
Rose raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing."
"No, say it."
"I mean, the baby was a surprise," Cass said. "To all of us."
"So what?"
Cass held her gaze for a moment, then looked at Mary in Bruce's arms. "Nevermind," she said. "I didn't mean anything by it."
She couldn't understand why Rose was trying to make her acknowledge that something happened between them. Maybe so she could tell Cass that she was crazy, that nothing actually happened, that every second they'd spent together was a figment of her imagination. But Cass wasn't taking the bait.
Rose looked like she was about to try to start an argument again, but Jason sat down on the other side of her. She smiled, then shifted away from Cass. "Hi."
"You were right, Bruce is all over her," Jason laughed, nodding toward Bruce, who was still smiling down at Mary.
"Told you," Rose snorted. "We'll have a free babysitter for the rest of his life."
Cass had to stop herself from rolling her eyes as Jason rested his arm over her shoulders.
After dinner, everyone disperses around the house, getting ready to leave. Most of them are patrolling right afterwards, so some went straight to the Cave instead. Bruce is in the kitchen, pretending to clean up but mostly waiting for everyone to leave so he can start patrol, too.
He makes a vague sound of acknowledgement when Cass walks in, but doesn't say anything. Cass sits down and looks at him. "I don't think I'm going to keep coming to these dinners."
Bruce furrows his brow. "Why not?"
"I think I should be patrolling," Cass says. "One of us should be out there."
Bruce has no reason to think she's lying, and she knows talking about patrol is the best way to get through to him. She almost feels a bit manipulative.
"We have others out there," he says. "You don't have to."
"I need to do it," she says, and she knew he would understand.
He pauses for a moment, then nods. "Good," he says. "You should patrol instead."
Cass nods, then leaves the room. She likes talking to Bruce; conversations are quick and easy, and they never bother saying more than they need to. They can cut straight to the point without worrying about how they say what they say.
She makes her way down the hall toward the door, but stops in her tracks when she comes face to face with Rose in the empty hallway.
The last time Cass truly saw Rose was when Mary was 2 years old.
Cass was alone in her own apartment, stretching before she went on patrol, when she heard a noise in the hallway.
She snapped straight into action. She crept toward the hall, tightening her fists and positioning herself for an attack. The sound of footsteps grew louder, closer, and Cass waited until they were right in front of her to move.
She leapt out, immediately shoving the intruder against the wall. She pinned her arm against their neck, then used her other hand to pin their arms to the wall above them. Once she stopped moving, she saw a wave of white hair in front of her in the dim light.
Rose looked unfazed at Cass's attack. She looked into Cass's eyes, ignoring the way she was shoved against the wall. "Hey."
Cass paused for a moment before letting go of Rose's hands. "What are you doing here?" Cass breathed.
Rose shrugged. Cass started to move her arm away from Rose's neck, but Rose grabbed it before she could pull it away. She took Cass's hand in hers, then dragged it down to rest on her waist. She slowly reached up to Cass's face and held it gently between her hands. She didn't lean in or kiss her; she just stood there, looking into her eyes.
"Missed you," Rose whispered.
Cass swallowed thickly. She thought about the last time Rose was close to her like this. "You're not pregnant again, are you?"
Rose laughed softly. "No, not pregnant."
"Then why are you here?"
Rose hesitated, then looked down at Cass's lips. That was the only warning she got before Rose pressed her lips against hers.
Cass knew she was making a mistake when she started kissing back, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She wrapped both hands around Rose's waist and pulled her closer, focusing on the way Rose melted into her, the way her lips moved slowly, the way her hands delicately held her. Kissing her felt like returning the world to where it was just a few years ago.
Rose dragged her lips away from Cass's and slowly kissed over her jaw and down to her neck. Cass closed her eyes and held her breath, gripping Rose's waist so tight it might've left a bruise.
Then Rose stopped. She rested her head on the crook of Cass's neck. Cass could feel slow breaths from her lips ghosting over her skin.
"I never knew my father when I was a child," Rose said quietly.
"I know."
"I used to feel like he abandoned me," she said. "But he didn't even know about me."
Cass brought one hand away from Rose's waist to comb it through her hair. She pulled her closer, and Rose took another shaky breath.
"I'm worse than my father," Rose whispered, so quietly Cass could hardly hear it.
Cass leaned her head against Rose's. "No, you're not."
"I am. I can't stop thinking about leaving. That's much worse than what he did to me."
"But you haven't left."
Rose looked up. "Jason's out of town. I left Mary alone in her crib to come here."
Cass blinked. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. "Oh," she said after a moment.
Rose groaned and dropped her head back down to Cass's shoulder.
"I told you, I'm a terrible mother."
Cass ran her fingers through Rose's hair and took a deep breath. "I think you should go back home," she muttered.
"I know," Rose replied. She didn't move.
The part of Cass that wanted to keep Rose in her arms for the rest of the night was outweighed by the part of her that was worried for the unattended child home alone on the other side of the city. She slowly tore herself away, savoring every last moment of feeling her skin against Rose's. She stepped back, but kept her hand on Rose's waist for as long as possible until only her fingertips were touching.
Rose brushed her fingers over Cass's. Cass pulled her hand away.
"You never fight for me," Rose croaked under her breath.
"Why would you want me to?" Cass asked, a little more accusatory than she intended.
Rose rubbed a hand over her face. "Why haven't you told anyone we were together?"
"Does it matter?"
"It matters to me."
Cass chewed on her lip and looked down. "It's over," she said quietly. "Why should they have to know?"
Rose examined her face. The silence between them stretched out for what felt like forever, then Rose cleared her throat and nodded.
"Okay," she said simply.
She left without another word.
Rose and Cass stare at each other in silence. For a moment, Cass hopes that Rose hadn't heard what she just said to Bruce, but she has a feeling she's not that lucky.
"Why would you stop coming to dinner?" Rose asks lowly.
"Why should you care?" Cass mumbles, trying to shove past her. "You only ever talk to me here to fight."
Rose grabs her arm before she can walk away. Cass could see a sliver of concealed panic etched into her face. "But this is the only time you see Mary," she urges.
"I'll make sure to send her a birthday card," Cass huffs, trying to pull free from Rose's grasp. Rose tightens her hand around Cass's arm.
"You know, Jason didn't want to come to these dinners at first," Rose says. "And I convinced him."
Cass stills. "So?"
"I convinced him to keep coming so Mary could keep seeing her family," she says. "So she could keep seeing you."
Cass feels a lump form in her throat as she turns her head to look at Rose. She tries to clear it, but the noise that comes out sounds more like a sob.
"Mary," Rose calls out, not breaking eye contact with Cass. "Come say goodbye to Aunt Cass."
Little footsteps come bounding toward them, but neither of them looks away from each other.
"Give Aunt Cass a hug," Rose says to Mary. She loosens her grip on Cass's arm so only her fingertips touch, then pulls her hand away.
Mary wraps her arms around Cass's waist. "Bye, Aunt Cass!"
"Bye, Mary," Cass whispers. Rose takes a deep breath as she stares at Cass.
"Mary, honey," Rose said thickly. "Can you tell Aunt Cassie you love her?"
Mary giggles, then squeezes her arms tighter around Cass's waist. "I love you, Aunt Cass!"
Cass feels a tightness in her chest. She can't bring herself to break her eyes away from Rose. She wraps an arm around Mary. She doesn't look away from Rose's face.
Rose looks at her with tight lips and tired eyes, but there was something real. Something genuine. Something Cass could see, looking into Rose's eye and feeling every emotion both of them had been shoving down for nearly five years.
"I love you, too."