Chapter Text
Growing up you were always told one thing by your parents, it was one that stayed in your mind as you lived your life just like everyone else. "One day you'll marry a man and have kids of your own." Mother has always told that to you. You were bound to have a husband of your own, bound to carry children of your own. Love wasn't something that you understood so easily, but you were willing to give it a shot. Your Mother had always brought up the pathway to your future, she seemed to have planned everything from the start. The Sacramental Union you've been promised from a very young age, a union even the one in power promised you'd obtain one day. You yearned to have it, you wanted to make them proud. You wanted to give them offsprings that would carry on the legacy, children that they could teach. They wanted more people to grow with the truth of how the world worked, they wanted more people to praise and worship the beings that created us life. That's what you've been told, even if you feel indifferent towards the emotional depth of your actions. They never glossed over the emotional factors, the feelings that you may posses during these relationships, they made sure you knew that it was only for new offsprings to flourish with knowledge of their ways.
You remember sitting by the alter, when no one was around. The place seemed isolated and empty when no one else was around, a place surrounded by tense trees and build with the finest quartz. Pillars stood high, towering over the many seats where the followers would sit during the moments of scripture readings and praises. You thought about your future for long, you wondered your life with a man that would provide you with the offsprings you needed to please the Enlightened ones. You remembered each one synchronising in harmony as they spoke out the words, promises that you would develop into a woman that was able to provide children of your own and that you'd be able to guide them into the safety of their hands. Your mind longed to be with a man. A man to help provide a stable future, to help provide kids of your own. That's what you chased for. You pleaded to the ones above you, to any deities that listened to your calls. You pleaded to have the chance to find a man that you'd be able to have children with, that's what everyone else wanted from you. As you grew older, around your teen years, you still yearned for your promised future. But it was around that time that you started to stray away from what you were taught when you were younger, you didn't want to wait until your adulthood years. You wanted to find the one that was for your at this age, of course, you wouldn't start a family now but you wanted to be with someone that would stay by you on the ride to your planned future.
You've had your good share of heartbreaks, a good share of abandonments. Many of these moments left you crushed, the first one hurt the most. You thought you had found the perfect boy to be with when you were older, he was charismatic, charming, confident in ways that made almost every girl love him. You stayed with him, only for him to throw it all away for another. From then onwards, you were more cautious about the boys you dated. Many confessed to you, you never made the first move. It would be too bold for a girl like you to have pulled something like that. Despite how all the boys you've met confessed their deep love for you, how they wanted to spend it with you for eternity, they always ended up throwing it away. Whether it be through cheating, or abandonment. All of them ended messy, none of them ended smoothly. You expected nothing more from relationships then onwards. You knew it would always end in disappointment, it always did.
As much as you wanted to respect your Mother's built pathway for you, as much as you wanted to live up to the others expectations of being a good mother to your future offsprings. You wanted something else. You craved a feeling. A feeling of warmth. A feeling that could bring you happiness. Your perception of love had changed over the years, being put into school as made you rethink everything you've been taught to be true. You discovered many things that you were never told before, almost as if they didn't want you to change the way you thought. One was that you were a polytheist, a believer of many different deities and Gods that lived outside of space and time. Another one was that you were a part of a cult, that one was more harder for you to accept but you eventually did somewhat come to terms with it. There was only one thing that threw you off when studying in school, it was there were different beliefs. Many people had different beliefs on how the world came to be, had different ways of showing devotion to the one they considered in power. Catholic beliefs, Islamic beliefs, Jewish beliefs, and more. You were even able to discover about a group of people not believe in a single deity of power at all. It was all hard for you to believe, sometimes even regret learning about what others believed. Maybe then your mind wouldn't have been so impure. Maybe then you would have still believed what you believed when you were a naïve young soul. You hated how your views had changed, you hated how you needed to pretend for the sake of the people you were surrounded by. You kept your impurity to yourself, never daring to show it outside of school grounds. Never in the eyes of your mother.
One unexpected night, your Mother had passed. It wasn't planned, it was never planned. She has died. She was gone. You remember them all planning out her funeral, remembering as they spoke out different speeches to verbally express how much your Mother was an important member to their secret society. You didn't cry, you didn't weep. You kept your head down, throughout the whole of the ritual. You only took part when needed. Once everything was over, you were left alone with the man in charge of your cult. You both stood over her grave, roses placed on top of the dirt her deceased body was buried underneath. You remembered his words, you remembered what he told you. "One day you will marry a man that will provide you with your own offsprings, it will make your Mother proud." That's what he told you. You didn't have the right to speak of anything ill in front of him, so you nodded. You would please your Mother, wherever she ended up. But you craved something more.
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In your apartment you stood, brushing down your long hair from its tangles and knots. You didn't have anything planned for the day, you didn't need to attend any of the spiritual rituals for today. You weren't apart of the old cult anymore, but that didn't mean you ditched the life as a cultist. In fact, you still were apart of a cult. It just wasn't the same as the old one. They too worshiped supernatural beings, they had their share of rituals and hymns. The only thing that was different was the way they thought their lives were going to be carried out. The one in charge said that amongst all the humans that infested this very world, there will be only a selective amount of humans that would find a soul that isn't from their own kind. A soul that would only belong to a supernatural being. It was different to how everything else in your past was taught to you. You didn't mind it much, but it did affect how you perceived certain things and made you question your past beliefs. You put on a simple outfit. A long-sleeved, collared shirt that was pearly white with a long, flowing skirt of the same colour. Small floral patterns were embroidered into the edge of your skirt, faint but lovely to the eyes to see. You paired the outfit with soft, light boots that matched nicely with the rest of what you were wearing.
You took one look in the mirror. You were beautiful, at least that's what you've been told. Even back when you were a very young girl, many said how beautiful you were, how any man would love to be with you in the future. Many boys have told you that too, they all stated that they loved your beauty. If they truly did love you, they wouldn't have left you. Were you just unlucky? Unfortunate enough to get with some of the worst men that couldn't keep their word. Or were you just unlovable? Unfortunate enough to be given a life without the warmth of true love. You didn't know, and you didn't want to know. Maybe you weren't trying hard enough to find the person you needed in your life. You sighed before stepping out of your room. You went into your kitchen and took an apple, you didn't feel too hungry in the mornings and fruits usually did the trick to satisfy your hunger. As you took bites out of your apple, you wondered what you could do. You wanted to have a peaceful day today, you figured you'd wander around in the calm, open forests to free your mind from the thoughts you've been having recently. You despised the idea of having someone constantly watching over you from above, unable to do anything freely without the knowing truth that every action you were doing was being judged by someone you could not reach in this mere mortal form. You threw the core of the apple away before stepping out of your house and walking down along the street. You watched as several others walked passed, a few men glanced at your body before looking away immediately. You felt ashamed of yourself. You had many men looking at you, yet you couldn't even hold one long lasting relationship with any of them. It only takes a few weeks before they leave you for something else, if you're lucky enough a few months before they ditch you. You made your way into the forest, surrounded by tense trees. It didn't feel suffocating, if anything, it felt freeing.
You were away from the other people, allowed to think for yourself without needed to worry about people watching your movements. You took in this moment to breath, to take in your surroundings. It rained last morning, but the ground was still soaked with dew. Leaves covered in small droplets of water, shining due to the sunlight that bathed them with warm hugs. You continued your walk, the smell of freshly wet grass infecting your smell. You walked, and walked, having a desired spot in mind. That cherry blossom tree, that seemed many years old. It was still standing, despite the many harsh weathers over the years. Your eyes fell upon the tree, there it was, in all it's glory. Beneath the tree laid petals of the blossoms, a few blossoms themselves laid on the ground under the shade provided by the tree.
You walked over to the tree, its scent familiar to your nose. There was a large rock next to it, you usually sat there when you took your time to admire the scenery around. You sat down, you've done this many times before. You observed your surroundings. Occasionally, a small butterfly would pass on by, flying in the direction of the subtle breeze that brushed against your skin. It was cold, it was a stark contrast from the warm sunlight that shone down onto the land.
It came naturally, your voice came out in a melodic hum. You sang, to yourself. Singing poetic rhymes that crafted a beautiful song, your voice attracted a few of the birds around. They chirped to your gentle hums, they didn't go along with your tune but it didn't sound horrible to the ears. Quite the opposite, in fact. Their occasional chirps acted like soft background music to guide your voice further. The flowers and grass danced with the wind, slowly and elegantly. It was as if the world around responded to your voice, wanting to match the elegant sounds that your vocals produced. You sang for the morning birds, you sang as the blossoms fell down from the tree around you. Your hums didn't go unnoticed, someone else was listening to the way your voice sounded. Unknown to you, someone watched you within the trees.
A creature. A creature that was far from human. A creature that was designed to be a killer, a monster it was. But it didn't seem dangerous. It seemed too delicate to be harmful towards you. Small horns, no claws and almost no fangs. It could be mistaken to be an angel. Soft, flowing hair that slightly passed her shoulders. She watched you from afar, taking in your figure. You were something of interest to her, she watched you with a curious gaze. She barely came out in the morning, she was always hibernating and hiding away with the others. Too afraid of the humans finding them. She was starving. She only came out a night, only when she could be sure no humans were around to harm her. She thought it would be another normal stroll, searching for food she could eat to cure her hunger. But then your voice caught her attention. The sweet melodies that left your mouth made her want to approach you even more, but her fear of humans made her stay far away from you. Were you the sun she's heard about? Were you the song the birds in the night sang about? She's never seen the beauty of the daylight this close to her, just a few metres away from her.
You weren't the sun, you weren't even apart of the sky. You were just a person that liked the quiet, isolated mornings. You liked singing to yourself, you liked doing it while no one was watching.
Although it felt different this time.
You felt as if someone was watching you. Not a transcendent being that constantly monitored you, but another mortal. Another being. A being that couldn't quite be placed to be something human. Your eyes drifted around, desperately trying to find out if it was just your paranoia or if someone was watching you. You didn't see anything at first, that was until your eyes fell upon something. Something large. A dark shadow with.. a surprisingly soft gaze. Pink eyes, you could make out small horns on its head. Once you blinked in its direction, it seemed startled. Before you knew it, it disappeared out of your sight. You didn't even see it run, you didn't even hear it run. Someone watched you. Something watched you.
Something that was not quite human.
Its gaze left warm. It looked like it longed for something as it watched you. You blinked in surprise, you were trying to figure out if what you saw was even real or not. Could it have been a supernatural entity? It looked like a creature of some sort. No human could have had the features it had. No humans appeared like a darkened shadow with only their eyes being visible. From what you could remember, it has horns, small fangs, ears that were similar to a sheep, curly yet flowing hair that reached just below where its collarbone should be, and you could have sworn you saw a faint silhouette of wings. Small wings. For a creature, it seemed beautiful.
Could your eyes have deceived you?
Could it have been an angel?
Were you worthy enough to meet an entity that wasn't quite human? Could it have been the truth, or a false hallucinations your eyes played on you? You desperately try to find out where that figure has went, you wish you had paid more attention as to where that creature could have ran off to. But, to your disappointment, you couldn't see anything. Its presence could no longer be detected by you, you longed to see it again. You wanted to see it with your own eyes. You wanted to see her once more, you wanted to believe what you saw was true.