Chapter Text
⬅️ The Queen 🎦📞
last seen today at 18:32
Elena omg
He loves Fabian. I can trust him fr
21:18
So am I going to find out who this mystery date is or
21:20
Idk if he’s out to everyone
I don’t want to put him in an awkward spot :(
21:27
And is he giving you the same effort?
You have to stop dating dudes who don’t deserve you
21:30
He's surprisingly very sweet. Which I didn't expect after hearing about his family tbh.
He helps me…idk. Detangle my thoughts?
He always listens to me, even when I’m probably talking absolute gibberish.
And he’s refused to let me buy a single drink tonight?? And we have had Several.
21:45
Hmmm
I’m inclined to be suspicious of all men.
Let’s see how he behaves by the end of the night…
21:49
He’s offered to walk me home 👀
Is it bad if I kinda want him to ravish me 🫦
23:21
Harris Drover!! This is most unbecoming of a lady.
I shall have the rake marry you if he compromises your honour!
Be safe though (whatever it is you choose to do) 😼
Send me a dot if you’re too busy to text me when you get home!
23:22
So like.
He didn’t even hug me good night??
I thought we had a good time????????
He just stood at my door and gushed about Fabian’s music for fifteen minutes.
Then insisted I go inside because I never sleep enough??????
In fact he made no physical contact all night????
00:13
Is the rake…a gentleman perhaps?
00:14
no. worse.
he probably just thinks I’m a bro™.
00:15
From: [email protected]
Subject: New Employee Wellbeing Initiative
Mon 23/06/2025 9:07AM
Hi everyone,
Hope we all had an enjoyable weekend 🙂
Following on from the feedback shared in our recent engagement and wellbeing survey, we’re excited to introduce a refreshed focus on wellbeing support across the workplace, starting with a new healthy‑eating initiative!
Starting from today, you will find a regular supply of seasonal fresh fruit and nutritious snacks in the Level 7 staff kitchen, restocked weekly. This is a small but meaningful step in creating a workplace that supports energy, focus, and overall wellbeing throughout the day.
This is just one part of a broader effort to strengthen our wellbeing offerings, and your feedback will continue to shape what comes next. If you have ideas, preferences, or suggestions for future wellbeing initiatives, we would love to hear them!
Kind regards,
Harv Murdock (He/Him)
Chief People Officer
Centaurs by Design
CBD Central Complaints Portal
Staff and Third-Party Complaints Form
Do you wish to submit this complaint anonymously*: Yes
Please note, if this form is submitted anonymously our capacity to respond or provide support may be limited.
About You
Are you reporting on behalf of yourself or someone else*: Myself
What is your relationship to Centaurs by Design*: CBD Staff
Do you, or someone referenced in this complaint, identify as an Indigenous person*: No
Impacted Person(s)
Impacted Person’s First Name: Frank
Impacted Person’s Last Name: Zullo
Impacted Person’s Contact Number: [blank]
Impacted Person’s Email Address: [blank]
Is the person under-18*: No
What is the impacted person’s relationship to Centaurs by Design*: CBD Staff
Person(s) of Concern
Person of Concern’s First Name: Ilya
Person of Concern’s Last Name: Rozanov
Person of Concern’s Contact Number: [blank]
Person of Concern’s Email Address: [blank]
Is the person under-18*: No
What is the person of concern’s relationship to Centaurs by Design*: CBD Staff
Person of Concern’s First Name: Shane
Person of Concern’s Last Name: Hollander
Person of Concern’s Contact Number: [blank]
Person of Concern’s Email Address: [blank]
Is the person under-18*: No
What is the person of concern’s relationship to Centaurs by Design*: CBD Staff
Incident Details
Date of Incident*: 4 July 2025
Time of Incident (if relevant): 9:32 AM
Incident Region*: Ontario
Incident Location*: Ottawa HQ
Who are you complaining against*: Ottawa HQ Staff
What is the complaint about*: Misconduct
Complaint Description*: Two male staff members were kissing in L7 Focus Room 2. Totally unprofessional and disgusting behaviour.
Supporting Documentation: [IMG_20250704_093543]
🟢 Ilya, 🔴 Shane Chat Shared + 📞
Eric Bennett 10/07/2025 11:22AM
Hello, the Central Complaints Investigative Unit have received a complaint about your public displays of affection in the workplace. I personally do not believe that there is merit in the complaint, it reads more homophobic than anything else and I have informed the CCIU of this.
HOWEVER let’s try and contain the physical affection to outside working hours please and thank you.
Also I’ve seen the CCTV footage of the date and time listed in the complaint. I gotta say, I didn’t think you would be the problem Shane.
Ilya Rozanov 10/07/2025 11:28AM
Is because I am hot and irresistible 😎
Meanwhile you are grandpa and homophobe.
Eric Bennett 10/07/2025 11:30AM
How am I a homophobe? I am married to a man (unlike you I might add)
Ilya Rozanov 10/07/2025 11:31AM
How do I know you are telling truth? Give me your husband’s LinkedIn.
Shane Hollander 10/07/2025 11:32AM
Thanks Eric, we’ll try to be more mindful.
Eric Bennett 10/07/2025 11:35AM
Let’s all just try to be a bit more mindful of personal boundaries in the workplace. LinkedIn is a tool to connect with your colleagues, not their families.
Trust Fund 6’5 Blue Eyes Chat Shared + 📞
Nick Chouinard 28/07/2025 9:51AM
Brothers wtf are the actuaries printing??? My single page Q3 budget briefing has been stuck in the printing queue for half an hour.
My meeting with the business development team starts in 10min???
Luca Haas 28/07/2025 9:52AM
last week the actuaries wiped off my inspiration quotes from the conference room whiteboard to draw their ugly graphs :(
Evan Dykstra 28/07/2025 9:52AM
I went to L6 to print my briefing papers but Pointy and Burger are hogging both of the printers up there????
This is a hate crime!!!!!
Troy Barrett 28/07/2025 9:53AM
I don’t think that’s what a hate crime is….
Evan Dykstra 28/07/2025 9:53AM
Nick Chouinard 28/07/2025 9:55AM
Well the printer finally stopped but I stole their docs so sucks to be them I guess
Oh wtf this is a print off of some website called “10000triviaquestions.com”
Luca Haas 28/07/2025 9:57AM
lol
they will never defeat us at monthly trivia no matter how much they try
tanner and i are too good 😎
Tanner Dillon 28/07/2025 9:58AM
Hell yeah brother 👊
Viva Engage
Corp HQ (Ottawa)
Conversations About Files Events
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Greg Huff
Wed at 10:43 AM ● @6
Monthly Trivia - July
We held the July edition of the Ottawa HQ Monthly Trivia Night at The Kingfisher last night, hosted by the greatest trivia master - yours truly! As ever, the competition was held over 6 rounds - General Knowledge, Sports, Geography, Music, TV & Film, and ‘Who Am I?’.
In news that will surprise no one, the Finance team won again continuing their unbeaten streak through 2025. Congratulations to Ilya, Nick, Evan, Troy and to the MVPs Luca & Tanner!
[IMG_Finance_Team]
👍❤️ Ilya Rozanov and 43 others
Shane Hollander Jul 30
Congratulations 👍
Evan Dykstra Jul 30
Who is doing it like us!!!
Harris Drover Jul 30
Luca and Tanner are smart as hell, but can I say that it was my teachings that got Troy the win in the music round. Marketing is coming for you!
Zane Boodram Jul 30
We’ll be coming for your neck in August @Ilya
Ilya Rozanov Jul 30
Okay.
Coffee Club Chat Shared + 📞
Zane Boodram 12/08/2025 8:37AM
This Patrice fellow they hired to replace Kip is not a vibe.
His coffee sucks man I just needed some extra caffeine
Harris Drover 12/08/2025 8:40AM
Yeah I tried it last week and did not enjoy it either…
Also is it just me or are the maple glazed pecans all almost gone?
They’re my fave from the wellbeing snack stash :(
Wyatt Hayes 12/08/2025 8:42AM
That doesn’t sound right. They only got delivered yesterday afternoon?
Troy Barrett 12/08/2025 8:45AM
I have a couple of spare packets I grabbed yesterday if you like @Harris
Want me to bring them up to you?
Harris Drover 12/08/2025 8:47AM
You’re literally a lifesaver thank you, I’ll come to you!!
Bros for life haha
Ilya Rozanov 12/08/2025 8:47AM
Interesting
Shane Hollander 12/08/2025 8:48AM
Strange that it’s just the pecans that have all disappeared, but we still have plenty of the other snacks and fruits?
Elena Rygg 12/08/2025 8:49AM
It will never stop being weird that Shane is in this chat
Ilya Rozanov 12/08/2025 8:50AM
This is homophobic. You are homophobe
Elena Rygg 12/08/2025 8:50AM
No, I’m a misandrist ❤️
Ilya Rozanov 12/08/2025 8:51AM
What is this?
Shane Hollander 12/08/2025 8:52AM
Someone who hates men
Ilya Rozanov 12/08/2025 8:53AM
Thank you my dear dicktionary 🧡
You are very smart @Elena I see why Harris call you his queen
Maybe you should join Bood’s trivia team so they might get chance to come second-last instead of last next time
Zane Boodram 12/08/2025 8:56AM
Fuck off Rozanov
Eric Bennett 12/08/2025 8:57AM
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: Professional Development Workshop Proposal
Fri 15/08/2025 12:43PM
📎CBD-Professional-Development-Proposal.pdf
Hi Julien,
I hope this email finds you well. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to develop a proposal tailored to the key professional development areas identified in your staff engagement survey.
I understand that you are looking to build further cultural change within your organisation that will empower individuals to think critically about their own goals, look forward to future career growth and embolden them to seek leadership opportunities.
I have attached a proposal that looks in-depth into the workshop agendas, but these are the key themes in chronological order I would like to present to your employees:
- Foundations of Professional Behaviour
- Emotional Intelligence and Self‑Management
- Communication Skills for Professional Environments
- Navigating Conflict in the Workplace
- Professional Boundaries and Respectful Interactions
- Collaboration, Team Dynamics, and Workplace Culture
- Accountability, Integrity, and Ethical Behaviour
- Building a Personal Professional Brand
Please let me know if this proposal is suitable, or if you have any further queries. I look forward to working with you and the broader Centaurs by Design cohort in the coming days.
Sincerely,
Jake Pierce (He/Him)
Organisational Development Consultant
The Growth Spurt Consultancy Group
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected]; [email protected]
Subject: Re: Professional Development Workshop Proposal
Tue 19/08/2025 10:27AM
Hi Jake,
Hope you had a great weekend!
Thank you for sending through your proposal. Our team has now reviewed this and we are happy to proceed with your proposed workshop plan.
We particularly are hoping to use these sessions to truly promote professional development across our organisation and identify emerging leaders in the process.
Thank you for your support thus far. We will work with you to lock down training dates and times within the next couple of weeks. Please reach out if you have any further questions in the meantime.
Kind regards,
Julien Brisebois (He/Him)
Senior Manager of Learning & Development
Centaurs by Design