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“You found me,” she said, excitement evident in her eyes. But not surprise. Like she knew it was only a matter of time until he found his way to her doorstep.
She looked perfect. The complete opposite of the last image of her he’d seen, standing at the edge of the gate, debris flying around her. Agony painted into every corner of her expression. Tears had stained her beautiful face, some of which he would have sworn were his, if their last moment together hadn’t taken place in the Void.
But now, her hair wasn’t slicked back behind her, looking almost like the buzzcut she’d had the first time he’d laid eyes on her. Now her hair was the longest he’d ever seen it, flowing in gorgeous waves down past her shoulders. She was in a coral pink nightgown, the long kind that had a few bottoms at the top. She looked settled. All he wanted was to fall to his knees, and press his face to her stomach and feel the warmth of her body bleed through the thin cotton fabric and into him. Bring him back to life.
“El,” he finally choked out. He bit back a sob, face lifting into a relieved expression. He had done it. He’d found her.
She lept from the doorway, threw herself full force into his arms, with the door falling shut behind her.
His limbs felt like jelly. He was so sure his legs would give out on him as her body collided with his, but somehow, miraculously just like her existence, they continued to hold him up as he wrapped her up in his arms, clutching at her as tears ran down his cheeks.
They were like that for an amount of time he wasn’t cognizant of. He felt a hand in his hair, her touch sweeping across the expanse of his shoulders. He buried his face in her neck, breathing her in as he held her tighter than he ever had before. He would never let her go again.
Pulling back to look at him, she rested her hands on his chest, while his settled to her waist to keep her close. She looked down, then back up at him. There was something she was holding back. “There is something I,” her eyes fluttered down again, this time to where her hands rested. “That I need to tell you.”
A noise from inside her apartment pulled his attention. His eyes left her for the first time to look toward the sound. It was the television turning on, he could hear overly-emotive voices and the familiar sound of a laugh track.
He turned back toward her, positive his face wasn’t hiding his curiosity. Of who was in her apartment. This late at night.
She inhaled a large breath, looking nervous now. “That’s… sort of what I have to tell you about. Who.” She gave him a smile, but her eyebrows were still pinched together.
His stomach dropped. He could have swore it fell entirely out of his body and landed on the floor. He was so sure, from the words and the look on her face, that whatever she was about to say was going to determine what the rest of his life from this point on would look like. Clearly all of this wasn’t over just a roommate.
She must have found someone in their time apart. It had been four years since they’d last seen each other. She could have easily had the time to meet someone who understood her even better than he did, than he had been able to in their short time together. Someone who had been there for her when he couldn’t, had given her the life free of danger than he’d dreamed up for the two of them. Someone that she loved too much to ever dream of uprooting the life she’d always wanted. Even if she had had to make it with someone that wasn’t him.
He tried to prepare himself for the blow, for the words he knew were coming. Even expecting it, he was waiting to feel air leave his lungs like he’d been kicked in the chest.
He told himself this wasn’t what was important. What mattered most to him was that she was alive, and she was safe and well. She had found somewhere peaceful like he’d imagined, had been able to find a home there. She was so much more outside of him, outside of once being his teenage girlfriend. And he loved her for everything she was then and is now, beyond the feelings she once had for him.
“Mike,” she started. “When I left Hawkins… or rather why I had to leave and make sure the military would never find me because they’d never look for me again, was about more than just me.” She raised a hand to cup his face, a tear slipped out one eye and reaching down her cheek.
“Of course, I didn’t want to get taken again. With the kryptonite, I’d never be able to escape them. Never be able to get away and would be in constant pain. Constantly at their mercy as they took my blood to create as many numbers as they could. And I was scared they’d hurt you, if we ran away and they ever found us. They killed all of Kali’s friends when they captured her. I couldn’t let that happen to you or Hopper or any of our friends.”
“I know. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. Like you said I would. I didn’t like it, but even when I thought you could be gone I eventually understood why you couldn’t let yourself be taken by them.” She rubbed her thumb along his cheek, and he couldn’t help but lean into her touch.
“You’ve always understood me,” she said. “I just hope you can now.”
He’d almost forgot she was about to tell him about the person on the other side of the door. He’d gotten so distracted by her touch and her explanation of why she’d left him for so long. At the fact that she had been protecting him and herself all along.
“Mike, you remember that night Hopper was out late with Joyce? You had snuck out to see me after a training day and we knew he wouldn’t be back until morning?”
Did he remember? How could he ever forget? It was the one and only time they’d ever been together. Fully together. It had been clumsy and they had been so desperate to just be close to each other. It was a memory he’d thought back to many times since, one laced with her soft giggles, neither of them having had a clue what they were doing. And thanks to him, it hadn’t lasted all that long, but it had still been one of the most special moments of his life. Afterwards, they had just held each other, laid in bed until the sun came up and he had to get back home before Hopper returned or his parents woke up.
It wasn’t long after that at all that she’d disappeared. Probably only a few months before, time that had been filled with intense training for her and constant preparation for the crawls for him.
“Of course,” he nodded, face serious before lightening up a bit at the memory. He rubbed his one hand up and down her arm.
“Well… you know we weren’t really… that careful.” He squinted at her. He couldn’t imagine what she was trying to say. Looking back on this moment, he’d blame the shock of seeing her alive again.
“We-we used a condom,” he said weakly. He’d stole it out of Johnathan’s trunk in the basement. He’d went down there one afternoon, when Will was upstairs with everyone else and Jonathan had run to the store for something.
He wasn’t really sure why he had done it. Him and El had never discussed taking that next step, not in so many words. And they’d been so busy, barely getting to see each other outside every few nights when he would sneak through the tunnels for a visit.
But in the weeks right before that, when he’d visit, their kisses had been gaining in intensity. Some nights, when he’d visit, they’d barely talked at all. Mostly because they hadn’t wanted Hopper to hear them, which meant they had to reduce conversation to the lowest whispers. So the visits were usually more focused on the comfort of getting to physically be near, holding each other and sharing kisses in the dark.
Over time, those kisses had evolved into full make-outs, the cuddles making way for more daring caresses that made Mike’s brain short circuit. Things had been heating up, slowly but surely, and Mike wanted to be prepared for whatever happened. Whenever it happened.
So he’s snooped through his sister’s boyfriend’s belongings, and it hadn’t taken long at all to find a box of condoms poorly hidden inside one side of a pair of folded socks.
He tried to avoid all thoughts of the reason for Jonathan to have the contraceptives, snagging a few and shoving them in his pocket. After that, he’d always pull the contraband from where he hid them behind his The Thing poster, held their with a piece of tape holding the few foiled squares to the wall, pocketing them anytime he went across town to see El.
That particular night, when he’d snuck in her window, she’d laughed as she watched him stumble in, a beautiful, full laugh. He’d looked up at her with wide eyes, terrified Hopper would hear her.
“He’s not here,” she informed him. Scooting over to give him space to sit down beside her on the bed.
“And when will he be back?”
“Not until it’s time for us to go out and train. He’s never back any earlier on nights like these.”
“Nights like what?”
“When he goes to pick up Joyce from your house,” she said, her face contorted in half a smirk and half a grimace.
“Gross,” he frowned. That got another laugh. The sound was music to his ears after such an intense last few months. After the pressure he knew had been weighing on her.
She leaned over, still smiling as she caught his lips with her own. It didn’t take long from there, as they kissed. She tried pushing his jacket from his shoulders, when the foil inside the pocket crinkled.
“What’s that?” She’d asked, pulling back from his mouth.
He’d froze. He knew exactly what she was referencing, had heard the noise himself.
“Uh, um,” he’d tried to form a single word. “Nothing. Just a candy wrapper. I think.”
She squinted her eyes at him. Suspicious. She clearly saw how panicked he’d gotten, how he’d stumbled over his words. But she also looked intrigued.
“I like candy,” she said. And he knew that. She loved the stuff. And couldn’t just go get some anytime she wanted, had to rely on him or Hopper to bring some for her out to the cabin. Let alone now with the rations, even a Hersey bar was hard to come by. Which was why his excuse was the worst one he could have come up with to get her to drop the topic.
“I think it’s just the wrapper. I ate it. Sorry, I should have brought you some.” She tilted her head. She didn’t believe him at all.
“What is it?” She asked pointedly.
“El,” he sighed. “Really, it’s nothing. Nothing you’d care about.”
“Then why are you hiding it. Why do lie?” There she had him. He never wanted to lie to her, to make her think he was hiding things from her. He could never risk losing her trust over something so stupid.
He surrendered, dropping his shoulders. He reached into his zipped pocket, pulling out the embarrassing secret item. She took them from his open hand.
“Those are, uh-“ he raised a hand to the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at her.
“Condoms.” She finished for him.
“Yeah,” he was a bit surprised she could recognize what one looked like. The only time he’d seen a wrapped condom before stealing Jonathan’s was on TV. Which she did watch a lot of, he supposed.
“When I was in California, our health teacher Mrs. Milton put one on a banana.”
“Oh,” he said, before finally turning to face her with his red cheeks. She cracked a grin, which he had to return. He looked down again as they each let out a small laugh.
“Why were you hiding this?”
“I,” he huffed out a breath, embarrassed at himself. “I guess I just didn’t want you to think I brought that here to… use. To do that. I-I stupidly stole them from Jonathan. Just incase anything would ever happen.”
“For if we wanted to have sex?” His face was on absolute fire now as he had no choice but to nod as he looked down at the space between them.
“Do you want to?” He almost snapped his neck to look up at her.
“No.” Her eyebrows jumped just a little on her face. He’d said the wrong thing. “I mean, of course, I’d like to. At some point. I just mean, that’s not why I came here tonight.”
“You’d want to… with me?” She asked, eyes wide and waiting.
“Of course with you, El.” Suddenly her face broke into a smile. Then a giggle. She’d been messing with him. Pretending not to know to get him to say it plainly. It’s a trick of hers he should have learned how to recognize by now.
Her smile made him feel more relaxed. More confident to do what he did next. Even if he still felt beyond nervous as the words came out. “And do you? Want to? With me? Someday?”
“No,” she answered, face unreadable. His heart dropped. His face surely did as well. But before he could get entirely into his own head, she’d leaned closer, laced her arms around his neck.
Looking him in the eye, she whispered. “I want to, with you, now.”
And that was how it happened. Everyday since that night, he’d been grateful to her boldness, and to his stupidity to steal from Jonathan. It was all he’d had of her in that way in all these years. One stolen night he’d thought would have to be enough for the rest of his life.
But now she was here, standing in front of him with that same mischief returned to her eyes that she’d had that night.
“Jonathan must have not bought very good ones.” She continued looking up at him, smiling now. It was like she was waiting for him to understand, for something to dawn on him as she bit her lip. And it finally was beginning to.
“Are you saying…?” She nodded.
“Mike,” she stepped closer, putting her hands back on his chest. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”
He had been prepared to feel the air empty from his lungs. But it still left him feeling dizzy, as he looked at her shining eyes.
He nodded, unable to speak or fully comprehend what was happening. What he was hearing and seeing.
She turned to grab the doorknob, grabbing his hand with her other hand.
“Terry?” El said, as she cracked the door open. After her mother, Mike thought fondly. He’d been to visit Terry. He’d went several times in the years since losing El. The first time, to tell her. The others to feel a little closer to El, being around her closest blood relative. He knew how much El’s mother had meant to her, how much it grieved her what had been done to her mother. How they had been ripped away from each other.
“Yes, mommy?” A little girl voice answered. Mike held to her hand in his like a lifeline.
“There’s someone I want to introduce you to,” she said. With that, she opened the door the rest of the way. Inside the small apartment, Mike’s eyes were immediately drawn to the little girl with light brown curls and dark eyes that sat on the sofa in front of the television watching cartoons.
He immediately saw so much of El in this little person, in the tilt of her head and the curiously in her eyes. And he saw himself too, the round cheeks he had had at that age, the pale skin. And he saw Holly and Nancy and his mom.
And then she became blurry, and he had to wipe at his stupid eyes that had welled up. El stepped closer to him, leaned into his side for support. But he knew he was smiling too, could feel it in his cheeks.
“Daddy!” The little girl, his little girl, said, sliding off the couch and running towards them.
He dropped to his knees, let her come right up to him. She touched his cheek as she looked him right in the eye, then touched his hair, pulled at his scarf. Then she smiled, right at him, looking more like El as she did so, gifting him a big grin that showed off her baby teeth.
He smiled back, laughing as the tension left his body. He looked to his right, to see El sliding down to join them on the floor. She lifted a hand toward their daughter— their daughter— as she shared in his tearful relief.
“How did she…?” He shook his face in disbelief, his eyes yo-yo-ing back and forth between his girls. “How did she know?”
El blushed. “I framed your author photo. And I tell her about you. Everything about you.”
He kissed her then. He could hardly believe he hadn’t yet. As they clung to each other, salt flavoring the taste of their lips, a small body cuddled in between them.
He’d woken up that morning, as he had the last four years, alone, a windower to a girl he never got to marry. He’d wake up tomorrow with El in his arms, with the chance to remedy that. He’d wake up a father.
As they pulled back, Mike could barely believe this moment he found himself in, waiting to wake up from this strange, too-perfect dream. Luckily for him— for the three of them— he never did.