Chapter Text
☾☾☾☽☽☽
1
It starts like this:
“Kacchan, do you know how to kiss?”
Izuku’s hair is extra curly from the saltwater. Her nose and cheeks are a little sunburnt.
Katsuki slides her foot over so their ankles bump.
“Prolly,” she says. “Can’t be that hard.”
They went shell hunting in the water until their shoulders turned bright red and then walked over to the ice cream stand, their feet drying on the way. Izuku got strawberry and Katsuki got lemon.
They sit on the curb now with sandy feet and burnt skin.
“You ever done it?” Izuku asks.
“No.”
Katsuki’s t-shirt sleeves are rolled up to her shoulders – she refuses to take it off, despite the heat on her back.
“Hah, me neither,” Izuku says.
The hems of her shorts are a little wet, from wearing them into the water. Izuku’s tankini is navy blue with white stripes like a sailor, the drying fabric clinging to her waist. Katsuki’s throat feels dry.
They’re killing time, or maybe wasting it – Katsuki is stingy about wasting her time, but she doesn’t mind when it’s with Izuku. They were talking about exams, then college, and somehow Izuku had managed to bring up dating and now Katsuki’s stomach is tied up in knots.
Katsuki doesn’t want Izuku to answer when she asks, without thinking much about it, “You’ve never kissed anyone?”
“No,” Izuku says. “Boys don’t really look at me. I’m, uh, you know.”
Katsuki doesn’t know. She squints at her through the harsh sunlight.
“You’re what?”
Izuku doesn’t answer, instead darts her tongue out to catch some of the melting strawberry popsicle that had dripped down her wrist. Her fingernails are painted like coral.
Katsuki wants to like, take a picture with her mind.
“Nothing,” Izuku says. “Sorta embarrassing, you know, I’m already eighteen and I’ve never kissed anyone.”
“‘S not that embarrassing.” Katsuki frowns. “It’s probably not all it’s made out to be anyway.”
Izuku brushes some of the sand off her ankles. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Since when’re you so curious ‘bout that kinda stuff?” Katsuki asks, gut churning. Her lemon popsicle is melting too fast, pooling in her palm.
“W-well aren’t you? Curious?”
Katsuki thinks about it. “No.”
“Oh.”
Izuku sucks her bottom lip, and Katsuki’s eyes follow.
“But I get it. I guess. Just don’t think it’s as great as people say,” she says.
“M-maybe we should try it…?” Izuku says.
Katsuki’s brain sputters like a broken boat engine.
“We?”
Izuku goes redder, if possible.
“Y-you said it’s not all that people make it out to be, right? But it’s not like you’ve done it! S-so shouldn’t you try it?”
“Like, with you?”
“Pfft, uh…” Izuku looks off to the side.
Katsuki’s lips quirk up. Her ears are warm.
“Sure. Not like I have anyone else to try it with,” she says, shrugging. Trying to seem cool and unaffected, but her stomach is upside down.
Izuku’s eyes brighten. “Really?”
“Yeah, but don’t act so excited, jeez.”
She giggles, more of an exhale, really.
“I still wanna know what’s got you thinking about all this,” Katsuki says.
“Eh…” Izuku makes a deflated noise. “It’s dumb.”
“So?”
“You’ll laugh!”
“Nahhh…” Katsuki says, unconvincingly.
Izuku juts her bottom lip out.
“Fine, I won’t laugh, nerd. Spit it out.”
“Okay… I guess like, I wanna do all the things you do when you’re in love, you know? Like in the movies. Like going on dates and having late night talks and holding hands and… and stuff.” She furrows her eyebrows, staring hard at the pavement. “Ooh, and having a boy buy me flowers. Wouldn’t that be neat?”
Her stomach is flip-flopping.
She should have known Izuku would become interested in boys at one point or another.
What did Katsuki expect, that they would stay completely inseparable forever, trading All Might cards and comic books like they’ve been doing since they were six?
She doesn’t really see the appeal of being in love, never has.
But maybe it’s like her mom says, and she just hasn’t met the right boy.
Plus she and Izuku watch movies, and they go to the summer fair and the diner, and it could be like going on a date. Why would Katsuki wanna do that stuff with someone else…? She has fun with Izuku.
Katsuki has no interest in flowers but she could buy those for Izuku, too. They’re only like four bucks at the corner store.
Does Izuku not have fun when they hang out – because Katsuki’s not a boy?
“I guess,” she says again.
Izuku sighs.
“You don’t think boys like you or something?” Katsuki says.
“I know they don’t... Boys like pretty girls. I’m, you know, plain.”
Katsuki holds back a scoff. Izuku is not plain. She’s pretty. It’s a fact. Even when she was a chubby-cheeked, brace-faced middle schooler Katsuki thought she was pretty. She has tan skin, with freckles plentiful and scattered like kisses from the universe, and bright eyes like emeralds and pink lips that smile a little bit crookedly. She’s just kind of nerdy, and if guys don’t like her just ‘cause of that then they’re stupid anyway.
“You are pretty,” says Katsuki, though it comes out quiet, her cheeks burning.
Izuku tilts her head, studying Katsuki. “Well, says you. You know, you’re really pretty. I bet lots of guys want a chance with you, but you scare them all.”
This time Katsuki does scoff. But she says nothing.
“Well, but that’s okay, ‘cause we have each other,” Izuku continues. “I’m okay with just hanging out with you forever, too.”
“Ugh, embarrassing.” Katsuki knocks their knees together.
But, it’s reassuring. And Katsuki would like that, just hanging out with Izuku forever.
Katsuki can breathe with Izuku. Izuku’s like an ice-cold soda on a hot day. One that makes your mouth all tingly.
“So, speaking of that…” Izuku peers at Katsuki. “You really wanna…?”
Yeah, Katsuki wants.
“Gahh, yeah, whatever.” When she feels Izuku inching closer, panic swirls in her gut. “When we get home. No one can see.”
“Right.” She nods stiffly. “Okay. Cool.”
2
Katsuki can see the gears and cogs twisting and turning in Izuku’s freckled head. She reaches out and flicks it.
“Agh! Kacchan.”
“Stop thinking so hard,” Katsuki says, turning her body toward her. “I don’t mind. It’s not a big deal.”
Izuku’s eyes are dewy. “Are you sure? It’s not weird, right? I’m not weirding you out by asking you to do this, right?”
Is it weird…?
Is it weird that Katsuki kind of really wants to now, ever since Izuku brought it up?
Katsuki shakes her head. “I don’t mind, if it’s you. ‘S just us.”
She zeroes in on Izuku’s tongue rushing past her lips to wet them, green eyes locked onto Katsuki like she’s waiting for the tiniest muscle movement to indicate she’s changed her mind.
They’d come straight to Katsuki’s room after the beach, not bothering to change out of their wet clothes, Izuku’s swimsuit still cold and damp and Katsuki’s t-shirt drying slowly where it got drenched on the front. Didn’t bother rinsing the salt or sand off their bodies, just brushed off before they sat on the bed, bodies mirroring one another, knees barely touching.
“K-kiss,” Izuku says, distantly, obviously still in her head. “We’re going to kiss?”
Izuku’s cute when she’s nervous.
Katsuki fights to stay nonchalant. Rolls her shoulders and straightens her spine. “Yeah, loser. What’s the hold-up?”
Her heart thuds, though.
She hopes Izuku can’t feel it when she crowds her space, inching closer than she’s maybe ever been.
Dryly, Katsuki swallows.
“Um, so,” Izuku says, voice becoming hushed in the small space between them. “Can I…?”
“Obviously,” Katsuki whispers, impatient.
Izuku nods, licking her lips nervously. Katsuki tracks it, leans forward, waits.
Izuku takes a moment to look, like she’s calculating where she’ll fit. Katsuki’s hands are clenched tightly into fists on top of her legs, unsure of where to put them. Izuku’s the same, hands awkwardly placed at her sides, fists in the sheets.
“D-don’t look at me,” Izuku blurts suddenly.
Katsuki sputters a laugh. “What?”
“Just… maybe close your eyes? Sorry, I’m nervous,” Izuku says, already sounding out of breath.
Katsuki closes her eyes. Izuku’s breath hits her skin and she waits.
She’s expecting the brush of their lips, and yet when they meet, something jolts up her spine and she pulls back.
“Sorry. I should’ve warned you. A-are you okay?” Izuku asks, eyes going wide and looking up at her, full of softness. Still, she looks just as nervous as Katsuki feels.
“‘M fine, idiot,” Katsuki says, clears her throat and braves up enough to kiss back this time when Izuku leans in again.
Their lips kind of stick together momentarily and it’s sort of satisfying. She tries to copy what Izuku does.
Izuku goes very slowly, kisses her almost curiously, and then again – like she’s trying to find her way around kissing her, trying to study it like it’s an art.
She tilts her chin up slightly to brush their lips together in a gentle, up-and-down movement before pushing forward and slotting them together again.
It’s… weird. Foreign.
Katsuki doesn’t hate it, though.
God – what’s happening? This gross thing, this thing that Katsuki has never felt a desire to do, and has even had a distaste for, when she sees it on TV or in the hallway at school, to which she would gag or roll her eyes – this thing that she is doing. She is kissing someone. She is kissing Izuku.
She wouldn’t ever say it out loud, but there’s something about how their lips fit together, something about the soft contact of their skin and the heat of their breaths mingling that makes Katsuki keep coming back for more.
Maybe she could even get used to this.
She doesn’t let that thought linger.
She is very still, like the slightest movement will make it all go away, and she doesn’t want it to yet – she’s hardly gotten to experience this yet.
She dogs her nails into her thighs. Both girls’ hands remain frozen like they’re trying not to use them. Like whoever can’t keep their hands to themself loses.
The initial awkwardness and fumbling fizzles out as Katsuki starts to get the hang of it. It’s really much simpler than she thought – like a puzzle.
Izuku’s top lip. Izuku’s bottom lip. The corner of her mouth. Do it again. And again, longer. And again, longer.
There’s a soft clicking noise every time they pull apart, and a part of Katsuki just wants to keep hearing it, keep making it happen.
Then Izuku’s kisses get harder and Katsuki’s breath gets stuck and she has to find it before she can try and match the pressure. She has to grab the comforter beside her leg to keep from reaching out, entangling her hands in Izuku’s salt-dried hair or caressing her face or something.
She doesn’t know why, can’t imagine why she wants to. Maybe ‘cause she’s seen it on TV or something, usually wouldn’t they hold each other or – or something? Not that Katsuki wants to.
She can feel Izuku gain some confidence as she tilts her head and angles her mouth against Katsuki’s – and yeah. It’s really warm and sort of dizzying. But also it’s so much, there’s a lot going on, like the busted fan whirring loudly and doing nothing for the blazing summer heat, and.
Jeez, it’s so hot, Katsuki realizes, in the room and between them, their mouths and under Katsuki’s clothes especially.
She pulls back again, her breath quick and shaky for some reason and cheeks burning hot. Izuku seems to be in a similar state, the green in her eyes reduced to slim rings around wide, dilated pupils.
They stare at each other, breathless, the silence deafening and the air thick.
Neither brings up the line they’ve crossed. Rather, they run right back over it. Izuku smiles, a little wobbly like she’s still nervous, then shuts her eyes and kisses Katsuki again, their lips bumping kind of hard. And Katsuki doesn’t mind one bit.
Katsuki tilts her head, her nose brushing Izuku’s cheek as their lips connect again, a little tacky – feels weird, but also nice. Katsuki doesn’t overthink it, how nice it feels.
A hand wraps around the back of Katsuki’s neck, finally (because that means Katsuki won) and she breathes hard into Izuku’s mouth, spine curving, and the reality of how embarrassingly touch-starved she is hits her like a truck.
She feels Izuku’s lips twitch and then smile against her.
“Shut up,” Katsuki murmurs, earning a giggle.
“I didn’t say anything,” Izuku says against her lips.
“You… you’re laughing at me…” Katsuki doesn’t open her eyes.
“You’re cute, Kacchan,” Izuku says softly, like it’s nothing. Katsuki’s heart does three backflips.
(She just means that in a friendly way. She says it all the time. She says it to everyone, probably.)
And then Izuku leans in to kiss her again, and their lips keep making those wet sounds that make Katsuki squeeze her eyes shut because what the hell, holy shit, she and Izuku are kissing. And she doesn’t really want to stop.
Their mouths fall into a slow sync, forming a pattern as Izuku tests the waters and finds out what Katsuki’s okay with and Katsuki does the same, the two of them gauging one another’s reactions, paying close attention to every sound, every twitch and breath.
Katsuki’s head goes fuzzy as Izuku’s hands move to Katsuki’s shoulders, resting there like she’s just holding her in place. Katsuki feels so dizzy she has to remember to kiss Izuku back when their lips meet again.
It feels strange to be touching like this, specifically Izuku, like this.
In a good way, maybe. Like something Katsuki’s been missing.
She would never say that, though. Fucking embarrassing.
When Izuku pulls away to catch her breath for a moment, Katsuki feels immense disappointment, finding herself waiting eagerly for the moment their lips touch again. Izuku breathes a little heavily and she’s so beautiful it’s sickening. Katsuki squints at her face. Izuku is so fucking perfect, eyelashes dark and gorgeous and freckles scattered across her face and all over her body like constellations.
Izuku doesn’t kiss her again and Katsuki kind of wishes she would.
She bites her own lips, like she can somehow savor the taste of her or relive the feeling.
It feels like an eternity of silence, just their breathing and the weight of the line they’ve crossed.
“Um.” Izuku’s chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “I feel like I’ve learned a lot.”
“Uh, yeah. Me too,” Katsuki says dumbly, still stiff as a rock.
Izuku licks her lips and looks away. Katsuki’s chest feels funny, achey. Her breath won’t even out.
“Um… I think t-there’s more, though… that can be… learned,” Izuku says slowly, like she’s thinking over her words carefully.
Katsuki doesn’t know what that means. But she hopes it means they do that again. “Like what?”
“Like, you know. Teeth.”
“Teeth?”
Katsuki really wants to know where Izuku is getting these ideas from.
“And… t-tongue?” Izuku offers shyly.
Katsuki goes red. “Wha-"
“W-we don’t have to! I won’t pressure you into anything!” Izuku says quickly before launching into a ramble. “I’m just saying, there’s a lot more to kissing than what we just did, and if we ever kiss anyone for real they’ll probably know how to use tongue, which, you know, would be sooo embarrassing if I didn’t know how, so I thought if you did want, we could just practice sometimes, you know, and then by the time we go to college and stuff we’ll be like, super-“
“Okay, I get it!” Katsuki blurts, face burning as she smacks a hand over Izuku’s mouth. She does not focus on her lips or her breath under her palm. “Jeeeez. Yeah, sure. We can… do it again. I really don’t care.”
Izuku perks up, like a cat. “We can?”
“Yeah,” Katsuki grumbles. This couldn’t get more embarrassing. “I didn’t hate it. So, if you want to fucking practice, that’s fine. I’ll practice with you.”
“Y-you’re sure?” Now she’s more reminiscent of a begging puppy.
“Yes, for fuck’s sake, Izuku.”
“O-okay,” Izuku says, breathing. “Okay. Umm. When?”
Katsuki blinks. “When…?”
Izuku clears her throat, eyes darting all around the room. “When will we practice… again…?”
She almost sounds eager.
Can’t think too hard about that.
“Whenever you want,” Katsuki says. “I don’t care.”
“Whenever I want?” Izuku says, lips turning up.
“Yeah. Just… only at our houses, when we’re sure no one’s around. To be safe.”
“Right!” Izuku says. “Totally. Okay. Cool. Awesome.”
Katsuki huffs. “Okay, weirdo. Happy?”
“Yes!”
Katsuki wonders if she’ll regret this, for a multitude of reasons.
☾☾☾☽☽☽