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Watching Cliff in the kitchen had quickly become one of Shane's favorite hobbies. He loves watching Cliff move around the space with the same fluidity that he moves across the ice and how he handles every ingredient like it's an extension of himself. Also there is something very sexy about how he's never once seen Cliff use a recipe. Cooking just comes so naturally to his boyfriend and Shane loves watching him. Right now Shane is supposed to be helping Cliff cook, but he's doing more watching than helping.
He's supposed to be peeling and cutting up the sweet potatoes that Cliff had bought to make mashed potatoes. If Shane didn't already love his boyfriend that definitely would have made him fall in love.
He is so used to anyone who isn't his parents or the Metros nutritionist giving him weird looks or teasing him about his diet, but Cliff hadn't done either of those things. Instead he'd spent two whole weeks reading everything he could about the macrobiotic diet Shane is on, researching recipes, and adjusting his own recipes to accommodate Shane. And in return Shane has relaxed a considerable amount about strictly following his diet so he could enjoy all of the delicious sweets Cliff bakes.
"You doin' okay, Mon trésor?" Cliff asked from across the relatively small space of his pristine white kitchen that smelled like home. His boyfriend was breaking down stalks of brussels sprouts, preparing them to be blanched and sautéed in sesame oil while waiting until it was time to put the chicken in the oven for roasting. The mischievous glimmer in Cliff's eyes and the teasing lilt of Cliff's voice made Shane blush and look away going back to slowly peeling the sweet potato in his hands.
"Yup." Shane replied, his voice coming out way squeakier than he would have liked. Ideally he wouldn't have squeaked at all, but he's embarrassed that he got caught staring at Cliff instead of completing the simple task that Cliff had given him.
It's not even that Cliff is cooking that has Shane so distracted today, it's the way he looks in a pair of old jeans that are worn in places with a small hole in the thigh and the soft, slightly faded black hoodie that is almost to tight around his shoulders and muscular arms and has the Raiders logo on the front and Marleau emblazoned across the back. It's so different then how he'd looked when he'd met Shane's parents a couple weeks ago.
Shane thinks that maybe he should be more nervous about meeting Cliff's family today, but he feels surprisingly calm about it. Maybe it's because they had already survived the hurdle of Cliff meeting Shane's parents and attending a teammates wedding together.
Today was such a last minute get together. Boston's first game is tomorrow and Montreal's isn't for another two days it hadn't been a hard choice—or a choice at all really, for Shane to take a last minute flight to spend his last free Saturday with Cliff and spend his Sunday watching his boyfriend play hockey. Shane had been surprised when J.J. had offered to fly to Boston and go to the Boston vs Ottawa game with him tomorrow, but it had been a pleasant surprise. He'd felt a little bad that he wasn't spending the day with his friend, but J.J. had waved him off insisting he wanted to do some sight seeing and was taking the ferry up to Salem.
This family dinner was just as last minute. It had originally been a plan for Shane and Cliff to go get drinks with Katie and Micah later that night, but it had quickly escalated to Jace deciding to tag along with their sister and brother-in-law, then Jean-Claude deciding to fly into Boston a day early, and finally Marie-Frédérique deciding to fly in early as well, not wanting to be the only member of the Mareleau-Poulin family who didn't meet Shane this weekend. So plans for a late dinner and drinks had changed into a late lunch slash early dinner with the entire family.
"Hey are you sure you want to meet my family today?" Cliff asked nervously, making Shane look up at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. Cliff was standing to where he had moved to in front of his kitchen sink and was now drying his hands.
"Of course I do." Shane replied doing his best to sound soothing, because of course he's sure about this, he's excited to meet Cliff's family. "Why wouldn't I?" He asked pausing his hands, leaving the sweet potato in them only half peeled.
"Because it's my entire family and they can be a lot." Cliff explained with a sheepish shrug as he crossed the kitchen, approaching Shane and grabbing a small knife from the butcher block as he went, before coming to a stop in front of Shane picking up one of the unpeeled sweet potatoes.
"Why do you get a knife and I get a vegetable peeler?" Shane exclaimed waving around the metal utensil he was holding in his hand. Cliff gave him a lop sided grin and chuckled,
"Can I trust you to use a paring knife to peel potatoes and not lose a finger?" Cliff asked still grinning mischievously his hands moving rapidly as he started using the small knife to peel the potatoes. Shane thought over the question while watching Cliff work with an efficiency and speed that was more than a little mind blowing.
"No probably not." Shane admitted before resuming the slow process of peeling the sweet potato in his hands. "And I don't care if you're family is a lot, they are still your family. I want to meet them." Shane said returning to trying to soothe Cliff's anxieties about the dinner they were making. "Besides, you endured being interrogated by my mom, I can handle whatever interrogation your family puts me through."
"God, I love you." Cliff replied smiling at Shane, leaning in, pressing a kiss to his mouth. The remaining sweet potatoes that still needed peeling and dicing remained forgotten next to them on the counter as they continued to kiss. Cliff's hand that was still holding the small knife, rested on the counter next to them while his other hand cradled Shane's jaw. Shane wrapped his arms around Cliff's torso pulling him in closer as they kiss turned more heated, with Cliff's tongue slipping into his mouth using it to stroke Shane's own tongue.
Shane moaned into Cliff's mouth, feeling the beginnings of his boyfriend's erection against his hip. He presses their bodies even closer together, seeking even more—as if they hadn't had mind blowing sex twice the night before and once that morning before they'd even gotten out of bed.
"Rentrez vos bites, on entre!" A woman's voice thundered from the opposite end of the apartment where the entry way is. Shane's face was painfully hot when Cliff pulled back from the kiss suddenly and he is sure that his face is the color of a boiled lobster
"Va bien te faire foutre, Katherine Marie!" Cliff shouted back, turning his head so that he was shouting in the direction of the entryway and not in Shane's face.
"Non. Va te faire foutre!" Cliff's sister shouted back making Shane laugh at the siblings antics.
"You're both assholes!" A man's voice shouted joining the fray. Shane pulled back from Cliff, putting a socially acceptable amount of distance between the couple just as Katie entered the kitchen carrying a couple bottles of wine with Micah following closely behind her.
"Ça dit quoi?" Katie greeted Cliff who rolled his eyes before letting her tug him into a hug that Cliff easily returned once she'd set the wine down.
Shane's seen pictures of Katie Poulin-Marleau scattered around his boyfriends apartment as well as on his boyfriend's Instagram, but he still can't get over how much the sibling look alike next to each other with their dark hair, their matching wide lop sided grins, and muscular, athletic builds. Shane also hadn't been prepared for just how tall Katie is. She's only a couple inches shorter than Shane is, but she looks so much shorter than her almost six foot frame when standing next to Cliff.
"Alors, c'est Shane? Il est mignon." Katie said casually, as she pulled away from her and Cliff's hug and turned to face him. Shane can't help but notice that she her light eyes get the same glimmer of mischief in them as Cliff's do when he's about to playfully tease Shane. "Comment t'as réussi à le convaincre de sortir avec ta sale gueule?" Shane can't help it, he snorts with laughter at the chirp.
"Tu es le pire. Tu le sais, ça?" Cliff replied with a groan making Shane laugh harder, "Why the hell would you marry this harpy?" he continued suddenly switching English as he turned to face his brother in law. Shane looked over at Micah who was now leaning against the kitchen island with his hips and his arms crossed over his chest. The other man rolled his dark eyes dramatically.
"You both suck." Micah said flatly. Cliff draped one of his arms over Shane's shoulders and he let himself melt into his boyfriends side watching as Katie glided back across the kitchen to her husband placing a kiss to his cheek.
"I'm sorry, mon amour, we shouldn't tease you." Katie cooed pressing another kiss to Micah's cheek.
"They've been together for a decade and Micah still can't speak a lick of French." Cliff explained casually. Shane hummed in response still resting against Cliff's side as he studied the other couple, taking in the way that even in sneakers Katie is the slightest bit taller than her husband. "Fuck." Cliff groaned suddenly, turning his head, looking at him sheepishly. " Shane. This is my sister Katie and her husband Micah. Guys this is my boyfriend, Shane." He straightened his body out, pulling away from Cliff so that he could shake their hands. Micah easily reached back, clasping their hands together in a quick perfunctory grasp. He was however surprised by the loud derisive snort that Katie made.
"It's cute you're pretending like we were raised with anything resembling respectable manners." She said still teasing her brother, before looking at Shane. "But it's nice to meet you, Shane."
"Nice to meet you too." Shane responded watching as Micah removed the leather jacket he'd been wearing and hanging it over the back of one of the bar stools.
"So how can I help in the kitchen?" He asked heading towards the sink to wash his hands. It makes Shane think of when Cliff had told him about how Katie had inherited their mom's slap shot as well as her cooking skills.
Shane was sitting at the kitchen island shoulder to shoulder with Katie as they watched Cliff and Micah finish all of the preparations for dinner working together in perfect rhythm when the front door opened again.
"Allô!" A woman's voice—Marie-Frédérique's voice, called out in greeting. Shane let himself be led from the kitchen into the long hallways that connected the entryway to the rest of the apartment.
Cliff introduces Shane to his parents in the quiet of the hallway, his introduction to Jean-Claude is brief. The older man is more than a few inches shorter than Shane. Jean-Claude smiles and in a surprisingly soft voice he tells Shane that it's nice to meet him while shaking his hand in a strong grip before excusing himself to set down the kitchen to set down the pies that him and his ex-wife had brought with them.
Then Shane is alone in the hallway with Cliff and Marie-Frédérique.
No one says anything for a long minute and it makes Shane's palms sweat and his heart race. He doesn't think a person alive would blame him for it either. Because Marie-Frédérique isn't just his boyfriend's mom. She's a hockey legend and a Canadian icon. She also has a presence that makes her feel larger than life. He should feel comforted by the fact that he can see so much of the man he loves in the woman standing in front of him, but Shane feels like Marie-Frédérique is staring into his very soul as she judges him and he worries that she will find him wanting.
"You have a weak back hand." She finally says with the same bluntness of the seasoned and well respected hockey coach that she is. It makes Shane freeze in place and blink slowly as he processes her words. Because that was not at all what Shane had expected to be the first thing his boyfriend's mom said to him.
"Ma!" Cliff exclaimed loudly from where he was standing next to Shane, "Quit trying to back seat coach my boyfriend!" He finished sounding incredibly scandalized, but Shane is still to shocked to say anything to try and comfort his boyfriend.
"Why not? Is he a diva who can not handle a little bit of criticism?" She asked in response to Cliff's scolding and Shane wasn't really sure how to respond to that either. Because he doesn't think he's a dive, and he has always been able to take criticism and apply it.
"No Ma, Because it's rude and you know it," Cliff retorted scolding his mother again all while Shane stood there awkwardly not sure what he was supposed to say, "And Shane is to nice to tell you your being rude." Marie-Frédérique scoffed at Cliff before turning to face Shane,
"Am I being rude, Shane?" She asked him pointedly while still managing to glare at Cliff.
"Uh…" Shane replied unsure what to say but his nervous, noncommittal noise seemed to he enough for the Marleau-Poulin matriarch, who had turned back towards Cliff victoriously,
"See Shane doesn't think I'm being rude. Besides if I don't tell him who will?"
"Oh I dunno, Ma, his fuckin coach?" Cliff exclaimed his voice dripping with sarcasm. Shane is pretty sure his mom would have murdered him if he'd ever dared use that level of sarcasm with Yuna. But it didn't seem to bother Marie-Frédérique who just made a very disgusted Québécois scoff,
"Who? Theriault? He wouldn't know what to with your average teenager, let alone a talent of Hollander's caliber. That dried up cock weasel is the reason Montreal hasn't won the Cup in twenty years." Cliff rolled his eyes before turning his neck to look at Shane who still wasn't sure what to make of the interaction.
"You'll have to forgive my Maman," Cliff says dryly, turning to face Shane. "She has an irrational hatred of Coach Theriault and no filter or tact." He opened his mouth to reply, but is cut off by his boyfriends mom.
"It's not irrational." She said definitively before continuing. "Theriault is a tiny man with a tiny penis. He was a terrible hockey player and now he is a terrible hockey coach. He is a disgrace to Canada." Marie-Frédérique rambled passionately, and once again Shane was rendered speechless because he wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to respond to accusations of his coach being a cock weasel. He really doesn't want to think about Theriault's penis under any circumstances, but he especially doesn't want to speculate on it's size.
t"Jesus fuckin Christ, Ma. Could you not scare of the first boy I bring home?" Cliff exclaimed sounding horrified while his skin turned pink. Maybe it makes him a bad boyfriend but Shane couldn't help but chuckle a little bit at his boyfriend's embarrassment, before playfully nudging Cliff's shoulder with his own.
"It's okay, sweetheart." He said before turning back towards Marie-Frédérique, swallowing nervously before responding, "So, um, do you have any tips to help with my weak back hand?" Shane hoped that he didn't sound anywhere near as nervous as he felt. But it must have been the right thing to say because Marie-Frédérique lit up with the same exuberant smile that Cliff gets.
She doesn't reply to Shane though. Instead she turned towards Cliff,
"You see! I told you Shane didn't think I was being rude!" She exclaimed, clearly gloating before walking past Cliff, patting his shoulder as she went, ensuring that she had gotten the last word.
Jace was the last member of his family to show up. And when he did it, was with an extra large cup of Dunks iced coffee in one hand and probably a bottle or two of two buck chuck in the backpack slung over his opposite shoulder.
"Quessé qui s'passe, la famille?" His little brother exclaimed like he was walking into his frat house and not like he was meeting Cliff's boyfriend. Part of Cliff really wished that his family would have at least pretended to be a normal, well mannered family to spare him from embarrassment. But the rest of him thinks that it's for the best that Shane meets them at their most ridiculous selves so that he isn't blindsided by it later.
Even if he really wishes his mom had never said the word penis in front of Shane.
The amount of times his mom and sisters have referenced penises aside, Cliff thinks this is going well, honestly he can't imagine how it could go any better. Shane has slotted into place with his family better than Cliff could have ever dared to dream. He'd even gotten a laugh out of his dad after he'd asked Shane if he had any plans while he's in town for the weekend and Shane had replied dryly,
"Well, I was thinking about catching a Boston Raiders game tomorrow."
But now Jace, the human equivalent of a golden bloodhound, had just walked in and Cliff holds his breath waiting for what ever dumb ass thing comes out of his brother's mouth. Thankfully he doesn't have to wait long, because Jace stops dead in his tracks of the entrance of the kitchen and takes a long drink of whatever iced coffee that is probably more milk and flavor syrup than actual coffee while his eyes dart between Shane and Micah. Cliff narrows his eyes at his baby brother, mentally warning him to shut the fuck up or else.
Unfortunately, him and and Jace don't seem to have the same telepathic bond that him and Katie have, because it doesn't work and Jace bursts out in laughter. He is laughing so hard that his body is shaking and Shane is looking at Cliff confused like he missed some sort of joke. He hasn't.
"Oh my god." Jace manages to wheeze out between laughter. "You guys have a type." Cliff is going to smother Jace. He is going to smother him in his sleep and there's no jury in the world that wouldn't convince him.
"Uhhhh-" Shane said shifting uncomfortably next to him.
"What the fuck dude?" Cliff hissed through clenched teeth. And Jace, the dumb ass himbo that he is just blinked slowly, tilting his head to the side making him look even more like a golden retriever than usual.
"It's true, you and Katie both have a thing for hockey players." Jace replied making Cliff groan burying his face in his hands while Shane rubbed a soothing hand over his back.
"Ugh, you're the truly the worst." Katie groaned, "Why the hell did you and dad have to go and have a third kid anyways? Cliff and I wanted a puppy." She whined loudly to their mother.
"What did you forget the birds and the bees talk I gave you, Katherine? I thought I did a good job of explaining to you kids about where babies come from." His mom said in that way that meant she was about to say something wildly embarrassing and probably inappropriate.
"Please stop talking." Cliff whined into his hands, still hiding his face in them.
"Oh my god. I know where babies come from. I'm asking why you had to make Jace." Katie whine and Cliff was really tempted to throw something at her.
"It's not our fault that we had a healthy sex life and your father has a big penis." Cliff thinks he might die of embarrassment. He won't even blame Shane for breaking up with him because of this.
"No one is allowed to say penis again." Cliff stated once he was finally able to pick his face up out of his hands.
Thankfully Shane wasn't running away, screaming back to Montreal. He was still standing next to Cliff rubbing his back and laughing softly.
Translations
Rentrez vos bites, on entre! - Put your dicks away, we're here!
Va bien te faire foutre, Katherine Marie! - Fuck all the way off, Katherine Marie!
Non. Va te faire foutre! - No. You fuck off!
Ça dit quoi? - What's up?
Alors, c'est Shane? Il est mignon - So, this is Shane? He's cute.
Comment t'as réussi à le convaincre de sortir avec ta sale gueule? - How did you get him to date your ugly ass?
Tu es le pire. Tu le sais, ça? - You're the worst? You know that?
Quessé qui s'passe, la famille? - What's up, family?