Chapter Text
Barry slowly opened his front door. He gave a quick look up and down the hallway, and saw no one on his floor. Sighing in relief, he took a step into the hallway and locked the door. He walked down the ancient hallway and pressed the ‘down’ button on the elevator. The elevator slowly made its loud, creaky journey up to the fourth floor and when it opened, Barry stepped in and pressed the button for the ground floor. He leaned against the side of the elevator and folded his arms together in his usual way. Looking down at them he saw nothing, but he knew he’s there. Just like he knew the sun rises in the morning, just like he knew water makes things wet, he’s there.
He banged his head against the wall as the elevator slid to a stop on the third floor. Frail old Miss Adler from 3B shuffled in and was about to press the ground floor button when she realized it was already lit. She chuckled and readjusted her cane as she moved to hold onto the side rail. In the process, she smacked Barry right in the left arm but somehow didn’t notice his quiet yelp of pain. He rubbed the spot gingerly and stared at her in silence, bitter, in. Barry wished he could say getting injured unknowingly by other residents was a one-time occurrence, but it happened more than he’d like to admit.
Finally, the door opened and let them out into the lobby. Barry slid out of the elevator stealthily, and he was almost at the door when he looked back to see the old woman still making her way out of the elevator. He smiled to himself and before he could turn his head around, he collided into someone. His involuntary response was to apologize, but he has been well trained his entire life. Barry knows he can’t talk to anyone, ever, and he knows it.
The girl he bumped into, though, laughed and looked at him straight in the eye as she said, “I’m sorry, I guess I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Barry was stunned. He was so stunned, in fact, that the girl was already in the elevator when he turned around to see her politely wave through the closing doors. He meekly raised his hand, though the door was long closed by the time he did. His jaw dropped open, and his hands found his way to his head as they usually do when he’s nervous. Barry decided to attribute the fact that he was suddenly imagining impossible scenarios to a sudden bout of lightheadedness, so he shook it off and waited for Miss Adler to open the front door so he could sneak through it behind her.
One of Barry’s favorite things to do is to walk around the city in the late morning and pretend like he’s a normal person on his way to college classes, work, and meetings with loved ones. He sighed and strutted along, not caring if he bumped into people. After all, everyone is always in a hurry and never notices the invisible being in their midst.
He walked through the tall gates outside of Grand Park and sat down on a rusty bench underneath a tunnel of bright green trees. He situated his fists on his chin and studied the people walking along. An old man seemed to dance along the sidewalk, throwing bread crumbs to eager, hungry pigeons. A college-aged woman jogged along and paused close by Barry to send a quick text before continuing her run. Though it was nearly summertime, Barry spotted a man sporting a buzzcut and a navy-blue parka with fur along the hood. The man spoke angrily into a phone as he stomped down the sidewalk, but Barry couldn’t make out quite what he was saying.
A middle-aged woman made her way towards Barry’s bench, pushing a stroller. She moved to sit down on the bench and Barry took that as a cue make his way home for lunch.
Barry decided to take the long route home today. On the way, he thought about the girl he imagined in the lobby. She had had long, slightly curled dark hair that bounced along with her laugh. The bright-colored dress she had been wearing complimented her short, hourglass figure so magnificently that just thinking about her in it made Barry feel weak. Her full, dark pink lips were the perfect complement to her medium brown complexion. In that one moment, that one glance, her warm, powerful eyes the color of earth seemed to understand everything about Barry. Barry couldn’t exactly place this feeling, but he knew it was something special.
Unfortunately, Barry was so distracted from thinking about this girl that before he knew it, he was in the middle of a crosswalk while the light was still green. Thankfully, no cars were an immediate threat. Barry shook his head at his carelessness and ran to the other side of the street, sighing heavily as a city bus zoomed right by him.
He shuffled his way back to his apartment building, thinking about the girl. Why did he have to imagine her? Why couldn’t he hold her, and tell her how she made him feel in that single, short-lived moment? He looked down at the ground and very frustrated, he kicked a rock into a lamppost which resounded in a deep clang. Thinking these thoughts were useless, he knew, but he couldn’t help but think about the normal, perfectly imperfect life he could never have.
Finally, he got back to his apartment building and opened the door, realizing too late that there was someone in the lobby who looked up when the door opened. It was the girl from earlier, picking up her mail. It was then that Barry started to think that maybe she was real, but he imagined that she saw and spoke to him. He stood by the elevator, waiting for her to either leave or press the button to go up.
“Are you going up anytime soon, or are you gonna keep staring at me?” The girl said as she tore through a manila envelope excitedly.
Barry looked all around, but they were the only two in the room. He looked back at her, his cheeks slightly burning. The girl glanced up and noticed him gaping around like a lost chicken.
“Yes, you. The only pale lanky dude in this room who’s donning faded dad jeans and a prison-esque t-shirt.”
Barry suddenly remembered slipping on his favorite blue-striped t-shirt on today and all the blood seemed to rush from his face.
The girl rolled her eyes and stormed over. “You know, if you’re not going up, you could at least stop staring at me.”
Barry didn’t know what to do at this point. He thought it couldn’t hurt to say something. He stammered out, “I’m…sorry.”
The girl pursed her lips together. She slid her mail into one hand and clicked the button Barry’d been waiting to press. “So, where do you live?”
He didn’t know exactly how to respond. No one even knew he lived here, and he certainly had never seen her around before this morning. He pointed up and smiled sheepishly.
She nodded, also unsure of what to say next. She ended up saying nothing and neither did he as they waited for the elevator. It finally arrived, and Barry let her go in first. She pressed the button for the fourth floor and stood against one side of the elevator wall. Barry stood against the opposite, simultaneously worried and gleeful that they lived on the same floor.
Somehow he managed to get out the words, “Are you new here?”
Her eyes lit up, grateful that the awkward silence had suddenly dissipated. “Yeah, actually. I just moved here today from the suburbs with my dad and brother. Now that I’m enrolled at Central City University, we thought it would be easier on all of us if we were closer to my school and dad’s work at the police station.”
Barry acknowledged this with a curt nod, admittedly a bit jealous. She had two things that Barry had always craved – a chance to go to college, and a family.
Before he could open his mouth, she spoke again. “Do you live with your parents? Are you also a student? You look the age, at least.”
He shook his head sadly.
She stared at him, as if she were trying to see inside his soul. Barry had never been looked at like this, ever, and he found it a bit uncomfortable. Thankfully, the elevator crashed to a stop and let them out at the ever-familiar fourth floor. Barry let the girl out first before he followed along.
When they got out, they stared at each other, both unsure of what to do next. Would it be rude to part ways here, or should one of them invite the other into their apartment?
A few moments of these silent contemplations went by before the girl took a step forward and stuck out her hand confidently. “I just realized I never introduced myself. I’m Iris West.”
Barry stared at her hand. He hadn’t held another human being’s hand since as long as he could remember, and he wasn’t sure how to go about it. Before he could meet her hand in the middle, she took it back, coughing to cover up the awkwardness. She quietly mumbled, “All right, then”, and turned around to walk to her apartment.
Barry stood there with his hands on his head, freaked out. He had to make this right, even though he definitely didn’t understand what was going on. Iris deserved better, which he could gather from those brief minutes of being in her company. He ran to catch up with her and when they met again at her apartment door, he stuck his own hand out. “Hi there. I’m Allen. I mean…Harry. Barry! Barry, I mean. Bartholomew, if you want. I prefer Barry.”
Iris stared at him and giggled. She brushed a piece of silky hair out of her face and grabbed his hand. “Hi, Barry. Nice to meet you.”
There was no feeling like this brief handshake. Barry felt as if a bolt of lightning had come down and struck him. Connecting with someone else felt electric, somehow. It was indescribable, really. Her hand was smooth and her grip was strong. Barry knew that if he didn’t concentrate, she would squeeze right through his hand.
The door in front of them suddenly opened, and a tall, thin boy who looked sort of like Iris appeared within it. He announced, “Iris, dinner’s ready. Dad made the chicken.”
Iris let go of Barry’s hand and passed the boy the mail. She clapped her hands together, bouncing in place. “My favorite!” She looked over at Barry. “Barry, this is my brother.” Looking back over at her brother, she asked, “Wally, have you met Barry yet? He lives down the hall, at least I think.”
Folding his arms across one his chest, Wally asked, “Who?”
Barry’s face started to burn again. He felt rooted to the spot, though all he wanted to do was bolt down the hallway and never come back.
Iris was confused. She pointed at Barry with her thumb and said, “He’s standing right here. Barry?”
Barry shook his head and looked down at the floor. He didn’t see where Wally’s eyesight led him, but he did hear him Wally say to his sister, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at, but we’ll be eating dinner in a few minutes.” Wally shrunk back inside the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Iris, clearly very stunned, looked back at Barry, who was still looking at the ground.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” She prodded, her voice shaking.
For what seemed like the eightieth time, Barry shook his head. “I have to go.”
He turned around and walked back down the hallway, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. After what felt like centuries, Barry reached his door. He unlocked it and shoved it open. Before he entered his apartment, though, he looked back at Iris. She was staring at him, tears brimming in her milky brown eyes. It took all the strength he had to ignore her clearly distraught stare and throw himself inside his apartment. He threw the key across the entryway and slid down the back of the door, hyperventilating. Through the door and his heavy breaths, he could hear her open and close her creaky door a few moments later.
Barry had no idea what to think.