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Noelle knew she didn’t really need help.
She’d cleaned her antlers by herself for a few years now. Hunched over a trashcan, looking into the mirror- shaking as she hoped not to feel the harsh pain of where velvet became true skin, hooves ripping away velvet to reveal sharp, fully-formed antlers underneath, red seeping into a washcloth as she cleaned it all away.
She’d done it before. It was scary, but she’d done it.
She couldn’t really put into words why she was reaching for Kris’ hand now.
Perhaps it was that otherwise, even as sensation faded, leaving only the itch of velvet ready to fall- she’d ignore it until it painted her school desk red.
Perhaps it was the strange way they had acted in her dream at the library, voice bright and clear like a bell. Perhaps it was the way they had smiled and laughed with her, so close yet so far away- eyes like the sun hidden behind the clouds.
Perhaps it was simply that there was no one she could imagine asking but them, with her father sick and her mother…
…
It didn’t really matter. She closed her hand around their wrist, and she saw them almost startle. They turned back to look at her.
Their eyebrows raised, eyes wide and almost sparkling, even hidden behind their bangs. Their mouth twitched to smile before falling back into a neutral frown, as if they couldn’t quite decide what they wanted to express.
“Noelle? Is something wrong?”
The shock of their strange voice made her almost pull her hand back, expecting the cold metal of a silver gauntlet to send a shiver through her hand.
It was hardly that it was unnatural, really.
It was that it was too natural. Kris’ voice was supposed to be strange and quiet, almost raspy from disuse. Despite the familiar tone, this was almost - generic. Something you could lose in a crowd.
They tilted their head at her silence. Noelle grasped their wrist harder, bringing a second hand to meet the first.
“Kris, I…”
Who was she to decide Kris’ normal, really?
Things had changed so drastically with them in the last few days.
Maybe this is just what Kris was like nowadays when they had friends, dragging and getting dragged all over town with Susie. Maybe Noelle knew Kris in the past. What happy looked like on them as a kid. Then, it had looked like a heavy warm winter coat. Protected, safe. Nothing could get to them, then.
This happiness with Susie looked like a light fall coat, blowing in the wind. It carried a fierceness and a freedom, almost.
Like when they were with Susie, they couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else.
Was Noelle selfish to ask Kris to wear something they’d long outgrew?
…Maybe. But Queen had told her to choose the world she wanted. And what she wanted was- was-
…
She wanted them back.
She only hoped Kris wanted that, too.
“Kris, could you- could you help me? I…”
She released Kris and pulled a hand up to one of her antlers, gently rubbing the velvet and feeling it shift uncomfortably under her hand.
“…I don’t want to take care of it by myself, this time. If- if you’d be okay with that.”
Kris’s expression didn’t change. Their eyes barely even moved to look at her antlers. For a moment, they simply stared in silence.
“…Yes.”
“…Uh, yes as in, um, you’ll help, or-“
“Yes.”
“…Okay! Um, could you? Come over to my house in a bit?”
Kris offered her only a lackadaisical thumbs up, before proceeding to turn around and walk away.
…Alright then.
————————
She hadn’t really believed they intended to show up, in the end. But they had.
They’d wandered in through the gates pried wide for them, eyes wandering through the yard and up to the house. Like they were taking it all in for the first time.
Perhaps it was different when they were here for more than pencils and books.
…
She wouldn’t know. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to the Dreemurr’s house.
They followed her inside, and she was expecting them to follow her all the way upstairs, but-
Noelle looked back when she heard their footsteps stop.
They stared back at her for a long moment, eyes flicking to the side.
“…Uh, Kris?”
They flicked again, and she saw their gaze land on the kitchen door. She faltered, lost for a moment.
“Do you… Need to wash your hands?”
They blinked, as if not quite expecting her question.
“…Yes.” Despite their hesitation, relief coated their tone. They turned towards the kitchen.
“…Uh, alright!” Why didn’t they wash up at home?? Are they going to…
She shook her head of the thought. It didn’t really matter.
She heard the kitchen door click shut as she stepped her way up to her room.
The idea of having Kris in her space was… Strange.
She brought herself to sit down on the couch.
Her house was one thing, but usually they didn’t make it up to her room. They’d settle down in the quiet of the living room, spreading books across the (luckily high) coffee table.
Noelle would sit on one side of the couch, tapping her pencil on paper as she meandered through the material, trying her best to refresh Kris on the things they missed sleeping through the beginnings of Ms. Alphys’ classes.
Kris would sit on the other, feet on the edge of the couch or the coffee table, book or worksheet in their lap, and-
Their gaze would watch her, never faltering except to write. It grounded her to the moment. It never let her fade into her thoughts- for better or for worse.
They always seemed sad, somehow.
She wonders if this new Kris would be.
She wonders if she knows them at all.
She feels the air shift, and turns to see Kris standing next to the couch.
She didn’t hear them come in.
She supposes they still know the house well enough to instinctively avoid the creaky stairs.
Noelle watches them contemplate for a moment, before sitting on the floor, back against the couch. She blinked down at them. They pat the ground in front of them.
“…Easier.”
Noelle paused. Did Kris sound…
She cautiously raised to her feet and sat down in front of them.
For a moment it was quiet. Then she felt Kris hesitantly reach forward and pull her back, until she could feel their breath against her neck.
She was taller than them, but most of that height was in her legs- right now, if not for her antlers, she could lean back just a little more and fall into their embrace entirely.
The thought made her eyes mist up.
She was suddenly grateful she was facing away from them. They raise a hand to her antler.
“…Is, this okay or-“
Noelle goes shock-still. Kris cuts themselves off. I was right. After a moment she turned her head to look at them.
“Kris?”
“…Yeah?”
Noelle feels a heaviness she didn’t feel melt away at the sound of their scratchy voice.
“You’re… Here.”
Kris’ expression turns strange. Their right hand reached up to the base of her antler, fingers slowly moving upwards until she can’t feel it anymore.
Noelle’s ears flatten. She almost reaches for Kris’ hand again. She doesn’t. She shouldn’t.
“Where did you go?”
Kris meets her eyes, and for a moment, for a moment she thinks-
She thinks-
They look away. A smile crosses their face.
“…You got me. I was stealing your chocolate milk. Carol gets the good stuff.”
Noelle’s stomach drops.
Her breath catches when she tries to inhale.
Of course.
She feels a tightness in her throat. Kris pulls their hand away. It comes away red, velvet strands in their palm and under their fingernails. She begins to feel the slightest bit uneven. They must’ve started while they were talking. How kind. Like giving a kid a shot on 1, 2- so that the dread can’t kick in all the way.
She wants to bury her head in their chest. Would they let her? (Would they let her while she bleeds?)
She doesn’t know.
She smiles. She wonders if it meets her eyes.
“Faha, of course. Well…”
Kris reaches forward for another chunk of velvet. She catches their wrist.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
She squeezes softly.
Kris’ fingers go lax for a moment.
She releases them again and turns away.
It isn’t kind of her, she thinks.
Kris steadies themselves and her again. She hears the next bit of velvet come off. She feels the blood begin to drip down. She feels Kris clear it before it drips in her face.
It’s so quiet.
“…It was a prank.”
She wants to laugh, and not in a nice way.
Guilt doesn’t sound good on them.
“But it’s- not on you. I promise.”
Noelle stares at the floor.
The pretty clean carpet has begun to stain. It’s why she usually does it in the bathroom.
She can’t bring herself to care, quite yet.
“It’s- on someone else, so I can’t… end it yet. But…”
They begin to work on the other antler.
How long has it been?
She’s halfway-sharp.
Usually she’d file them down to look softer.
She wonders if she should anymore.
They reach for her hand in her lap. Intertwine their fingers, hesitantly and loosely.
They’re covered in her blood.
Maybe she should’ve waited longer, so it wouldn’t be as bloody.
This feels right, somehow.
“…But it’ll be okay. I promise. Everything will.”
Noelle’s voice comes out quiet.
“…You can’t promise that.”
Kris squeezes her hand.
“…Please, just…”
“…Trust me, okay?”
The rest of the velvet comes away quickly. She looks back one final time to see what’s left of that softness in Kris’ lap. She knows without looking her antlers are stained a faint red.
They meet her eyes, something determined flickering like flames in that crimson red.
She knows she reflects sadness back in hers. She can’t keep anything from them.
“…Okay.”
How could she not, anyway?
She’s trusted them since
forever, really.