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BREAKING: Shane Hollander did DRUGS (Shane: THAT'S NOT WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED)

Summary:

@ctvottawa ✅️

🚨 BREAKING: Ottawa Police have confirmed one arrest was made following a major operation connected to an ongoing drug trafficking investigation.

*UPDATE: Hockey player Shane Hollander remains in custody following today's arrest in the investigation.

Police have not commented on statements made during the arrest.

Notes:

Listen yall. Imma need you all to put on some detective hats if you wanna get down to the bottom of this mystery and read the other stories in this series because this IS dependent (sort of. you can still enjoy out of context lol)

Before i release the next 2 chapters of this one, i have one other fic in this series to complete (Handy Handyman Hollander) and those parts will lead to the events of this story. (but not mandatory to read but might be fun)

Check the end notes if you want to see my scheduled release for such and more!

(just a disclaimer but this is a fanfic and I do not mean any slander towards franchises(pls dont sue me because unlike roz i do not have money) thank you)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: BREAKING NEWS + Light TWITTER REACTS

Summary:

BREAKING NEWS and some light TWITTER REACTIONS

Notes:

let's get to work lol

Chapter Text


 

BREAKING: Drug trafficking investigation leads to arrest of hockey player at Ottawa pizza restaurant

At approximately 1:14 p.m. on Thursday, Ottawa Police concluded a months-long narcotics investigation at a Papa John's location after receiving information related to a suspected trafficking operation. Officers reportedly maintained surveillance of the restaurant while waiting for a specific order believed to be connected to the investigation. When the order was collected, police arrested professional hockey player Shane Hollander without incident. Cellphone footage from the scene later circulated online showing Hollander being escorted to a patrol vehicle. Police have not announced formal charges and have not commented on Hollander's alleged connection to the investigation. EDIT: The case remains active.


 

[Theme music plays.]

[CTV Ottawa — BREAKING NEWS]

 

ANCHOR:

"Good evening. We begin tonight with an update on the developing story surrounding the arrest of professional hockey player Shane Hollander earlier today."

Various images of Shane Hollander modeling.

"Mr. Hollander remained in police custody this evening following a major drug trafficking operation conducted at a Papa John's location in Ottawa."

The screen splits, displaying both Shane Hollander's pissed off mugshot and the image of the Papa John's store front.

"Authorities had reportedly spent months investigating a cocaine distribution network believed to be operating through coded food orders."

Images of police vehicles outside the restaurant appeared on screen.

"According to investigators, confidential sources eventually directed police toward a specific pizza order that had repeatedly appeared throughout the investigation."

A list appeared.

  • Cauliflower Crust
  • No Sauce
  • Grilled Chicken
  • Mushrooms
  • Arugula
  • Spinach
  • No Cheese

"Police reportedly established surveillance positions both inside and outside the restaurant while waiting for the order to be placed."

 

Security camera footage appeared.

[Timestamp - 1:01 PM.]

Hollander entered the restaurant alone and approached the counter.

Waited until an employee approached, exchanging a few words.

Checked his phone.

Waited again.

An employee emerged carrying a pizza box. Hollander accepted the order.

Three undercover officers immediately entered frame.

The footage showed Hollander resisting as officers struggled apprehend him, pizza box slipping from his hands.

A new officer approached from the front while another moved behind him. Within moments he was being escorted by five officers total towards the exit.

The footage ended.

 

"Police have not disclosed what evidence was recovered, though multiple items were removed from the restaurant as part of the investigation."

 

Cellphone footage appeared, the view presumably from the parking lot:

Off-Camera:

"Holy [BLEEP] it's Shane [BLEEP] Hollander."

Shouting in the distance as Hollander was being dragged across the street to a patrol car.

 

Hollander(while being stuffed into the car):

"[BLEEP] IT'S NOT [BLEEP] CRIMINAL TO BE IN SHAPE! I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY HEAL-"

 

The screen went back to the news studio.

 

ANCHOR:

"The video has now accumulated over four million views. Police have yet to give an official statement regarding Mr. Hollander's involvement. Meanwhile, teammate and spouse, Ilya Rozanov briefly spoke with reporters outside the station."

 

Video of Rozanov adjusting his tie standing next to a short older man, who stood in front of several microphones.

"After extensive research with my legal team," the man spoke with a thick Italian accent, "We gathered enough evidence to clear Shane completely and also potentially sue McDon—"

 

The broadcast immediately cut back to the studio. The anchor quickly attempting to hold a straight expression.

 

ANCHOR:

"...A-and now onto our next segment. Concerns continue to grow among local business owners regarding—"

 


 

@ctvottawa ✅️

🚨 BREAKING: Ottawa Police have confirmed one arrest was made following a major operation connected to an ongoing drug trafficking investigation.

*UPDATE: Hockey player Shane Hollander remains in custody following today's arrest in the investigation.

Police have not commented on statements made during the arrest.

 


REPLY — @slapshotwalrus

Honestly how the fuck?

 

REPLY — @chairfornication

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

REPLY — @bluecheeks

just getting off work and seeing ts was insane

 

REPLY — @evenbearswantroz

LMAO HOLLANDER??? #freemyboy

 

REPLY — @justiceforscroner

With THAT kind of pizza order Hollzy? sorry babes that IS a crime

 


 

@hockeynhoes

is this real?

[repost]

 


REPLY — @beatmeater

girl have you seen the shit these guys get up to?

 

REPLY — @scoreforscroner

This is the brick in my algorithm i turn my notifications on for

 


 

@centaursfan88

the pizza looks like drywall

 


REPLY — @puckbunso7

I mean...It was literal crack🤔

 


 

@sueagainroz

omg guys. is that rozs lawyer??

 


REPLY — @rancidcupcak

lmao the one that keeps suing micky d's??

 

REPLY — @bade34

"your honor my client simply hates flavor"

 

REPLY — @rancidcupcak

BAHAHHAHA🤣🤣

I FUCKIN LOVE THIS TIMELINE

 


 

@nippslicks

id arrest him too with that kind of order

wtf hollz

 


REPLY — @hitsfyck81

this man looked at a pizza and said remove the joy

 

REPLY — @troyletmeeaturhair

the pizza is a victim too

 

REPLY — @skatesandgays

it MADE victims tf u talkin about

 


 

@pankurbank

"its not a fucking crime to be skinny"

it is when u order this shit 😭😭😭

 


 

@hollzyisbestass

the comments defending the order are concerning

 


REPLY — @rozspitinmyeye

literally WHERE???

 


 

@pl617hockpock

manifesting that its fake(the sad ass pizza)

because i can't let him be problematic(someone who would order that kind of pizza)

 


REPLY — @whupu66

then keep dreaming girl because these boys are caught up in everything somehow

 

REPLY — @shanehollandergavemeascroner

their pda incidents AND their bodycam leaks? Not to mention a while back rozy'z channel got banned?

 

REPLY — @strawberriespluslatex

his what?

and his what did what????

 

REPLY — @shanehollandergavemeascroner

lmfao bruh some people are reuploading clips

it was some dumb ghost hunting show he did with scott hunter

 

REPLY — @strawberriespluslatex

you mean to tell me that rozanov, the same one that hates hunter, did a yt channel with him

 

REPLY — @shanehollandergavemeascroner

yes

 

REPLY — @strawberriespluslatex

bullshit

drop the link

 


 

@hollanovin4kb1tch

I like how the internet is in collective agreement that Hollander is innocent of the actual crime because he would totally order that shit fr 😂

 


 

@ILYA✅️

I will free my husband @shaneisnumberone from clutches of evil

please forgive my husband for his crimes against food 🙏

[Edited image of Hollander's mugshot with sparkles and hearts and crying emojis]

 

 

Notes:

Thank you all for reading!!
I appreciate you all for coming!!

 

Schedule:
June 11th & 13th- Chapters 4 + 5 of Handy Handyman Hollander
June 15th - 2nd chapter of DRUGS(this one)
June 17th - 3rd and FINAL chapter of DRUGS
June 20th - 2 New Series!!! (One is a BONUS that pairs with this series!)