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"If you're all grown up and serious, we just can't click like we used to anymore!"
Stelle blinked, staring at March after she said that. Something vibrated in her head and shuddered in her heart, and her mouth hung open as the words didn't come.
"I'm sorry for overwhelming you. I need a moment to go think," March said, turning away, only for Stelle to grab her jacket and yank her back.
"Why would you say that to me?" Her voice was low, trembling as her fist tensed around March's jacket.
"Huh?"
"You basically just said, if I change, you won't be my friend anymore. And you said this immediately after I told you I wasn't doing so well."
March stared at the hand tensing around the shoulder of her jacket. "I mean…" It was her turn to be at a loss for words, if only briefly. "I was joking! Don't be silly, I'll find a way to click with you even if you spend all your free time in the archives."
"You're missing the point," Stelle hissed, crumpling that section of March's clothes into a ball in her fist. "How thoughtless can you be?"
"I'm not-"
"You've been having a great time collecting merch and food while we've been fighting for our lives," Stelle spat. "Maybe you should stay here if you like it that much. You can go enjoy a life of pretending you're popular and gabbing with other girls your age and you can forget about everything that happened. Amphoreus never happened, we never met, you're just an ordinary girl in Planarcadia."
"Hey, wait! Now you're the one being thoughtless!"
"I'm serious as the spear I took through the chest in Belobog." Her face crumpled in disgust as she released her companion with a shove, then strode off in the direction of the passenger car.
March was left to watch, scratching her head, before wandering off in the other direction to get her thoughts together.
* * *
Before leaving to meet up with Ashveil, March skidded to a stop in front of her room, unable to pass through the mountain of her furniture that had been placed in front of it: most of her plushies, her mirror, a chair. With a confused noise, she scooted aside what she could and went to open her door, only to find it unmovable, locked or blocked from the inside. "Hey! Who's hiding in my room?" she called out, continuing to jostle the door. "And why did you throw my stuff out here?"
There was no response and no movement, so she did the next best step, dialing Himeko on her phone. Himeko picked up quickly. "I'm sorry, March, now isn't a good time-"
"What's happening?" March could hear thumping and crashing from the other end. "Uh, when you have a moment, the door to my room is-"
Another bang, and Stelle's voice could be heard too clearly, raw from screaming. "Let me in! I'm undocking the train and leaving!"
Pom-Pom piped up from the side. "Passenger Stelle, you don't have the authentications for the Express controls! You couldn't do that even if you knew how to drive the Express!"
"I'll send Welt by to help you with the door," Himeko said, exhaustion wearing her voice down. "I have a situation over here." With that, she hung up.
March stared at her phone, struggling to piece together what she'd overheard. She cast a glance at the belongings strewn about the floor, one scrapbook with a photo half-slid out of it grabbing her attention. Before she could correct the displacement, the passenger car door opened, and Dan Heng briskly gusted through, stopping right after he'd passed the pile.
"What happened here?" he asked, eyes wide at the mess.
"I didn't do this, I promise," March said. "And my door is locked from the inside for some reason."
He glanced between the floor, the door, and a point further up ahead. "I have to help Himeko. If your door is still stuck when I'm done, I'll help you unlock it."
"Himeko said Welt would be coming by to help." She ended up mirroring her friend's assessing glances between her belongings, the door, and the other side of the car. "What's going on with Himeko? I thought I heard Stelle and Pom-Pom when I called…"
"I didn't get much context, only that she needed my help." Dan Heng pressed his lips into a line. "When I hear the full story, I'll tell you. Sorry." With that, he sped off to meet Himeko.
The awkward lull afterward gave her time to adjust the scrapbook and check for damages of what she had in front of her. The photo was an easy fix, simply sliding back into its plastic sleeve, and every item seemed intact, yet she found herself lingering on that photo: herself, seated with Stelle and Dan Heng at a table in Belobog, Stelle grinning at the camera with her while Dan Heng looked up from his book, a small smile from him caught on camera.
So much had happened.
Welt's voice jarred her out of reverie. "You weren't waiting too long, were you?"
"Oh, no, not at at all. Dan Heng came through here, but he had to help Himeko with something, so…" March shot an anxious glance in the direction he'd gone off in.
"Hm." Welt pursed his lips as he focused on manipulating the lock. He knew the mechanisms, so all he needed to do was apply a little gravitational force to the right bits and pieces, and the door came unlocked, complete with a wiggling of his fingers for impact. "That should do it."
March gave the door a try, and sure enough, it budged. "Thanks, Welt! You're the best."
A text notification chime rang, and Welt pulled his phone out. His face fell. "I'm being called on to help Himeko. I have to go."
"You too?" she asked, yet he had already stalked off. After a beat, she slid the door open and started chucking the plushies back in first, only to stop when she got a better look at her room.
The memory wall's monitors had all been unplugged. Her egg chair had been knocked over, the rug in that rest area rumpled. Her blanket had been thrown across the room, or otherwise hung up on her coat rack. Her PC monitor had been turned mostly around, the mouse disconnected. The sight made her shake as she plugged the memory wall monitors in first. They all turned back on without issue, displaying photos from the journey as if nothing had happened. No signs of damage.
Her vision seemed to fuzz over as she watched the photos transition and shift, and with her hands balled into tense fists, she walked off the same way everyone else had gone, towards the far end of the passenger cabin, towards the chamber before the Astral Express's control room.
Even through the door, she could hear the muffled voices of the rest of the Express crew, or at least Dan Heng, Pom-Pom, and Himeko. Sucking in a breath, she pulled open the door to find Dan Heng's back mostly blocking her view. "What's happening?"she asked, peering around him to see just enough of Stelle curled up on the floor, livid, sobbing, searingly distraught.
Dan Heng turned around and shook his head. "It's not a good idea for you to come in here right now."
She squinted, confirming that she did in fact see one of Welt's gravity domains keeping Stelle on the ground. The moment they locked eyes, Stelle shrieked and started trying to get up, pushing against the leaden force subduing her without much success.
"I, um, I'm sorry," March stammered, shutting the door to the control room and running off, speeding back to her room and closing the door behind her.
The rug was easy to smooth out and the chair was intact. Her PC monitor turned back around and on and it responded to the mouse when it was plugged back in. Her blanket was rumpled, but not even dirty, and it was just as comforting as it ever was once she'd gotten back to her bed, sitting up and staring at the memory wall, watching the images change.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been watching it when she heard a knock at the door, and Dan Heng's voice. "March, can I come in?"
"Huh? Sure."
The door slid open, and Dan Heng stepped through, closing it behind him. "We managed to get Stelle to her room."
"Oh, good." March paused, stuck with her mouth open till she finally figured out what to say. "So… what exactly happened?"
"She had another anxious meltdown and was trying to break into the control room to undock the Express," he explained. "She kept getting more agitated and she was starting to get bruises from slamming herself into the door… so Himeko had to call in reinforcements."
"She needed Welt to keep her still?"
"Yes. I tried to hold her back, but even with Permansor Terrae's strength, she was thrashing around too much." His eye contact diverted to some spot near the memory wall. "She had started to calm down before you came in."
"I'm sorry."
That got his focus back on her despite his nervous habit of averting his gaze. "It sounded like you said something that touched a nerve, on top of all her other stressors."
"Yeah…" She lowered her head, shameful. "I was trying to lighten the mood and I joked about not wanting her to grow up and get all serious like you-"
"Cheap shot at me aside-"
"It's okay, Dan Heng! It's good that you're serious! You've even become less serious over time, so I don't have to worry about you."
He shook his head and gave a huffy sigh. "I think the most important part is if you understand why what you said set her off."
A pause lingered. "Can you tell me what you think so I can check my answer?"
Dan Heng's eyes narrowed in the closest thing to a glare she'd ever seen him direct at her, and she shrank back. "Dodging this question is not a good look."
"No, I mean it! I just want to make sure I don't have it all wrong!" A soft "again" slipped from her lips as she shook her head and tried to put her words together. "I made it sound like I was going to let her down when she really, really needed me… and I don't blame her for getting mad at that."
The menace dropped from Dan Heng's face. "That roughly matches my understanding. None of us will say what she did was right or reasonable, but I think you need to talk with her."
"I would, but I dunno if she'll even let me in," March mumbled. "Maybe she was right and I should just get off the Express. I don't really do much anyway, and in Amphoreus-"
"Stop." He stared the tangent and March into submission. "This is why you need to talk with her. Both of you running off with things you said in the heat of the moment is just going to cause further misunderstandings. Even if you insist you're still 'young,' you still have to communicate like an adult."
"I-" Once again, she shook her head, as if the shame physically weighed it down. "I'll do it. Could you come with me to back me up? Please? I dunno how she'll react even if I don't put my foot in my mouth."
"Of course." Dan Heng turned towards the door, the tension in his face softening. "Both of you have started saying 'please' when you genuinely need help."
"Huh, really? I thought it was just polite," March said as she pulled herself out of bed.
"You say that like you two are ever that concerned about politeness," he retorted with a dry chuckle. "So when you remember to say please, it stands out."
She opened her mouth to object before abruptly pivoting. "Let's just go see her."
* * *
Dan Heng knocked on the door to Stelle's room, projecting to make sure she could hear. "It's Dan Heng. Can I come in?"
The most ragged "yeah, okay" drifted from the other side of the door. Cautiously, he entered, gesturing for March to wait before following him in. She pressed her ear to the doorframe, trying to pick up as much of the conversation as she could.
"How are you feeling?" Dan Heng asked. No audible response. "March is here. She would like to talk to you. Will you listen to her?" Still nothing to hear. "I won't be far away if either of you need anything, or if things take a turn for either of you." Finally, some mumbles from Stelle. "I know you'll try. I'll send her in."
With that, he headed back to the doorway and beckoned for March. "She'll listen to you. Go in. I'll be right out here."
"Alright…" She took a deep breath and shook some of the tension out of her body before moving forward, stopping in front of Stelle's bed. The Trailblazer was almost entirely under her covers, with only her grey hair and the top of her face peeking out. March swallowed, trying not to tear up at the sight of her friend like this, so drained of her usual vim and vigor. Stelle had never looked like this before, not even while processing the aftermath of Amphoreus. "Hey," March greeted, quiet and cautious. "Um… I wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier. Can I sit down?"
The covers rustled, and Stelle peeked out just enough for a nod to be visible. It looked like the gold of her eyes had somehow dulled, even if it was just from being red and puffy from crying. March took a seat on the bed next to Stelle, trying to find the right level of closeness. "I'm really sorry about what I said. It was really… what's that word… glib? It was careless and I should have tried harder to be careful with you."
All she got was a feeble "Mm-hm" in response. "You know I meant that I'll still find a way to click with you even if you become like Dan Heng, right?" March continued. "I just don't want you to lose the fun parts of you. Not because you'll stop being fun or likeable, but because… that'd just be too sad, wouldn't it? You can find new ways to be fun, I just-"
"Stop." Though heavy with exhaustion, the syllable was clear, and Stelle pulled herself up to sitting. March winced when she saw the rather purple bruise on her right cheek. "I didn't break any of your stuff, did I?"
"Oh, so that was you…" She shook her head. "I mean, uh, it makes sense. No, everything was fine. A little messy, but nothing was broken."
"Good. I didn't want to break your stuff. I just… wanted to teach you a lesson, I guess." Stelle sniffed, rubbing at her eyes. "At the time all I could think about was tossing you off the Express and leaving Planarcadia. I let the stress get to me and I let myself blow up instead of coping better. I'm sorry."
"No, it's my fault," March cut in. "I'll try not to be so… silly at all the wrong times."
"If it has to be, it's both our faults. You weren't thinking, and I didn't try to think, either."
"I thought about using some six-phased ice to cool you off, because I think I heard cooling down helps when people get way too upset," March explained, brows knitting sheepishly. "But then I remembered that that might not be a good idea, because… well… you know. Evernight."
"At least you remembered that much," Stelle mumbled.
"If I ever screw up like that and do anything that hurts you, I give you permission to toss me off the Express, wherever we are, even if it's in space-"
"Stoppat." Stelle's syllables ran together from fatigue. "I'm not throwing you anywhere, even if…" The tiniest, tiredest of smiles tried to spread on her face. "Even if the Voracity THEMSELF wants a taste of cotton candy."
That got an awkward snort and giggle out of March. "Before you did that, Evernight would pop out and slurp that thing up like… what's that drink they put the worm in?"
"I dunno, but it sounds nasty."
"Agreed." A beat passed. "No matter what, if worst comes to worst, I'm gonna be right behind you on your villain arc, just like I said I would. I know I haven't done much, but I'm gonna try my best to help Ashveil look for clues! Even if I'm not really good at that either."
"It's okay. Just like the rest of Planarcadia, you can be cute and useless."
"Wha-"
"Because you're my cute and useless little dummy," Stelle teased, throwing her arms around March and squeezing her entirely too tight.
"Hey, hey! That's just mean, even if you're right!" March squirmed but gave up her protest after two wriggles. "Look, when we're done here, I'll at least have a list of places to take you for good food and fun so you can refuel yourself. It'll be like Bailu's list, or Hyacine's list… hey, this could be a thing we do for every stop!"
"March 7th, official downtime curator of the Astral Express. If I can't do it anymore, you totally should. Someone's got to remember that there's still a universe out there outside of all the drama." Stelle punctuated the statement by giving March another squeeze and a peck on the forehead, pulling a soft, surprised "oh" out of her.
"I can only do that if you fight hard and make sure the universe is still there," March said. "Even if we gotta split up soon, I'll do my part to make sure there's still snacks and bubble tea and cute comfy meme shirts for you!"
"I'll do my best. If you find a good shirt, I'll see if I can spot you some credits so you can get one, too."
At that moment, Dan Heng re-entered the room. "Are you two doing better?" March's "uh-huh" came out at the same time as Stelle's "I guess." "Good. If I need to, I'll see if I can delay our time to move out. I don't think an hour or two will make much difference as long as we still leave at the same time."
"Could you? Please?" Stelle barely looked over at him to gauge his reaction.
"Now I definitely will. I was just telling March that it stands out when you say 'please', so I know you need the extra time." Dan Heng pivoted and took a few steps before adding, "I'll let you know as soon as I can."
"Thank you," Stelle and March said almost in unison. When the door shut to mark his exit, Stelle spoke up again. "Do you wanna stay here for a bit? We could have a mini sleepover. I don't blame you if you don't want to though."
"A 'napover' sounds great!" March sprang up, barely avoiding bumping into the Trailblazer on the way up. "Hope you've got good snacks in your fridge still."
"You bet," Stelle said. "You pick, and when you get back here, I'll show you the fun meme videos I found."
"As long as it's not that song that Sparxie is always singing," March answered, peeking into the fridge. "Let's see…"
Stelle only made it through three shorts of a man chatting to his immaculately dressed small dog and a longer video of a surprisingly well choreographed Ploo ensemble dance number before dozing off. March stopped her from dropping her phone on her face before setting her muffin aside and snuggling up close.
If she couldn't do anything else, March could at least make sure the rest of the Express got some joy and comfort in their downtime.