Chapter Text
Neal and his wife had been going through some hard times lately, relationship wise. To the point were words like 'custody' and 'alimony' were starting to be thrown around in the strained discussions that passed for conversation between them.
Not that they had many opportunities to talk at all lately, he’d since moved out of the house at this point. He got himself an apartment that was, granted, below his standards, but it did have an extra room for the kids to stay in when they came over on the weekends which was a plus.
He didn’t understand how this had happened, things hadn’t been perfect but he’d always assumed they’d turn out alright. Neal had always made it a point to lead a calculated ‘predictable’ life. It wasn’t exciting, some might call it downright boring, but it was dependable. He didn’t have to worry about it crapping out on him.
Though in hindsight he supposed this was predictable in a way. Everything in his life fell into a boring foreseeable pattern, even when it was falling apart. And it made this all the more frustrating.
“I’ve always been so careful. So committed to doing what I thought was the right thing.” He commented to Del as he stared out the window into the dismal city street.
Del had dropped by the apartment for the first time for a visit on his way to ‘home base’ as he called work, and sat uncomfortably on his couch, fidgeting with the beer Neal had handed him. This hadn’t been what he expected when he had the idea to call Neal at work and ask if he could drop by.
“…Is that why you always seem so wound up?” He joked. Neal glared at him a bit over his shoulder and Del laughed sheepishly. “…Sorry.”
“I’m glad you stopped by, it feels like I hardly ever get to see you.” Neal said, sitting on the other side of the couch from him.
“Apparently. It’s seemed like you were fine last I saw you, and now this? Thank goodness I got in touch, a couple more months you would’ve quit your job to run away and join the circus.”
“As appealing as that sounds, I really can’t afford it given the impending divorce.” Neal said dryly.
“Wait a second, I was under the impression it was just a separation.” Del said with a little frown. “…Or at least I was hoping I suppose.”
Neal shrugged nonchalantly. “Might as well use the D word, Susan wants to get it over with. I guess I get that, it has been six months.” He said heavily.
Del was in the middle of taking a drink and started hacking on it in surprise. “…Six months? Jeez, it can’t have been that long since I’ve seen you.” He finally said when he regained the ability to speak.
“No, only four actually, remember when I ran into you awhile ago when you were in Chicago? I just didn’t get around to…mentioning it.”
“You know we could’ve talked to about it.” Del said, sounding deeply concerned in the way only he could.
“I know, I know. It seems silly now but I guess I was still hoping it’d get fixed. You’re always going on about what a great life I have, I guess…I didn’t want to disappoint you. It’s hard to explain…I guess I’ve never understood why we sustained something of a friendship. Your…I don’t know, nice, you care about people. I’ve always been a bit of a self-absorbed jerk. My marriage crumbling to bits is just a confirmation of that.”
“That’s ridiculous Neal…sometimes things don’t work out. You can’t blame yourself for this, I mean sure you can be a tightass workaholic sometimes-“
“Gee thanks.” Muttered Neal.
“-but I believe you’re a genuinely decent person.”
He was quiet a little too long so Del pressed on, chuckling uncomfortably. “Honestly I don’t know why we stayed friends, it’s the greatest mystery since the Bermuda triangle. My best guess is its some form of Stockholm syndrome.”
“I know what you mean.” Neal said with a laugh.
"…Part of me always ended up missing you I guess. What can I say, I like you’re company.” Del said, taking a slug of his beer, peering forward pensively. “There’s a sense of stability of being able to call you up and get together over lunch or a drink. I like being on the road…but I need that sometimes.”
“You have other friends I’m sure.” Neal said.
“Yeah, but with you it’s different I guess. Maybe it’s because Chicago is the closest thing to home for me now. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t felt that way since…I don’t know, it’s just nice.”
The words ‘hadn’t felt that way since’ held a heavy implication, and Neal felt a kind of acid in his gut, a collision of feelings: dread, and perhaps…hope? Was that was that was? A dim familiar light that cut through his own self-hatred and questioning that made him, for once, a little surer of himself.
He glanced over at Del’s trunk, siting by the door, its presence was hard to ignore and yet Neal hadn’t thought to ask. He always associated the damn thing with Del, but when he did think about it it seemed odd that he hadn’t just left it at whatever motel room he was staying at.
“…Were you planning on spending the night?” Neal inquired, giving a pointed look at the trunk.
“Oh yeah…” Del laughed nervously. “...that's the other thing, I'm a little short on cash so I was wondering-"
"If you could stay here? Sure." Neal said without a second thought. “The couch isn’t particularly comfortable but the beds alright…it isn’t like we haven’t shared before.”
“Naw, I'm fine with the couch…” Del said with a nervous chuckle. “I think I can manage. I appreciate it that though. And I appreciate you letting me stay here."
“Don’t mention it.” Neal said with a smile.
They talked a little while longer, eventually calling it a night, Neal surrendering to his bedroom and Del to the aforementioned couch.
A few hours later though Neal felt the bed shift, a glanced over his shoulder to see Del, no more than a large silhouette in the darkness. He muttered something about his back before sinking into the bed. Neal was mildly annoyed at being woken but Del fell back asleep fast enough anyway, so he did too.